Possession
by Fractured Dreams
Summary: When you've lost everything you've ever held dear in your heart, it's hard to pick up the peices and start again. But Naruto gets a chance to rebuild his life and find peace with his past. And perhaps, to find love with another. Shounen ai, Sas x naru,
1. Distant Light

Konnichawa everyone! I've written another story! Its quite a bit different from my other ones, so this is just a trial to see how it turns out! I haven't actually read many fics concerning this type of subject matter, so i thought I'd give it a go. Ifs its truely awfu, let me know and I'll see if it can be fixed. But at the moment, give it a read nad see if you like it!

**Warning:** OOC, Shounen Ai (boyxboy), swearing, mentions of self mutilation, some angst. You've been warned!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Althoug I'm pretty sure you all knew that...

**Pairings**: mainly Sasu/Naru, Sasu/Gaa with some Kaka/Iru, Shika/tenten, Kiba/Ino, Gen/Neji

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Chapter One: _Distant Light_

_Would your love in all its finery_

_Tear at the darkness all around me_

_Until I can breathe again, _

_Until I believe again?_

Clouds of dust swirled in the late afternoon sun, as the sound of erratic hoof beats penetrated the late afternoon quiet. Delicate nostrils were flared and sniffing the air nervously as the pert little ears were pricked forwards.

"Whoa there boy," Naruto spoke softly and soothingly. "Steady, steady."

At the sound of his voice, the unsettled colt (1) seemed to calm a little, and the creature stepped forward inquisitively.

As the young horse approached him, Naruto took a moment to admire its beauty. The horse's pure white coat gleamed with a healthy and well-cared for shine; the mane and tail were flowing sheets of silk which swayed gently with each movement the creature made.

The colt was the most recent addition to the Uchiha stables and it had fallen upon Naruto's shoulders to train him. Not that he minded at all. It was a pleasure to spend his time training such a splendid animal.

He offered his hand for the colt to smell; that slim neck stretched out cautiously and breathed his scent in before moving slightly closer. They were still getting to know each other, and Naruto wanted to take it slowly with the young colt. It was important that the creature trusted him, and got used to him; it would be important in the later stages of the training.

Naruto rubbed the bright-eyed colts face with a smile on his face. For as long as he could remember, he had been passionately in love with horses. It did not matter to him that he was a lowly stable hand in the Uchiha's rich estate. Why would he complain? Not only did he get to work with the sleek, gorgeous horses owned by the Uchiha's, he got free board and meals, as well as a small paycheck

The colt shoved at his shoulder playfully and Nruto chuckled.

"You and I will get along just fine, I think."

The colt wuffled through his nose in reply and Naruto smiled again.

"Come on. It's time I put you to bed for the night."

He gathered up the equipment he had been using and began to lead the colt back along the path.

When he was working with horses, especially young and excitable ones like this one, Naruto preferred to take them away from the noise and distraction of the stables. There was less of a chance of the horse spooking and bolting.

Naruto was in love with the Uchiha estate. He had been from the moment he had set foot here almost two years ago. It was the largest estate around, filled with acres of beautiful forests, open fields and landscaped gardens. Beautiful red maple trees and Sakura trees provided plenty of shade during the warmer months. Ponds and waterfalls bubbled quietly away to themselves, while many different varieties of fragrant flowers grew in the borders.

Whenever Naruto could get a chance, he slipped away to an isolated and sheltered corner to sit under the Sakura trees and watch the petals gracefully flutter to the ground. Everything was neat in the gardens. But the rest of the property, the forests and the open fields, they had an untamed, wild beauty. Sometimes Naruto would just walk and walk for hours, discovering things and places he hadn't reached the last time.

The stables and paddocks designated to the horses faced west and backed out onto a large proportion of the forested area. The stables and arenas were not visible from the mansion as they were shielded from view by a stretch of forest.

It was days like these when Naruto felt like life was worth living, like he could forget all of his worries and disregard the past. The warm afternoon sun basked everything in its golden glow and lit the sky a fiery orange. A gently breeze stirred the trees gently, and lifted the strands of hair from Naruto's forehead.

Back at the stables, his friends would be talking and laughing as they carried out the last of the days chores. Horses would be getting their evening grooming, rugs being put on, feeds would be measured out, the floors swept and equipment cleaned.

After that would come the evening meal up in the servant's quarters at the house. Although the stable hands living in the dorms by the stables, they took their meals with the household servants.

Naruto's stomach grumbled impatiently at the thought of food and he rubbed it ruefully. He'd skipped lunch so he could spend more time with the colt.

Beside him, the colt snorted and shook his head. He was completely calm and relaxed. A different horse than the one he'd faced a few minutes ago. The wind had blown a broken branch into its line of vision and had effectively panicked the colt into a bout of frenzied rearing and dancing.

'_Silly thing,'_ Naruto thought affectionately. _'I wonder why they haven't named you yet? I can think of a dozen fitting names for you at this very moment.'_

Tomorrow was inspection day. Uchiha Itachi, in the place of his father who was often away on business, would be visiting the stables to give everything a routine check. This happened every month, and if Uchiha Fugaku (his father) wasn't available to do it, then Uchiha Itachi, would do it instead.

The Uchiha's were all skilled riders, and it wasn't surprising seeing as horse riding was a popular sport among the upper classes.

Exactly _how_ horse riding related to the world of the wealthy was beyond Naruto. What would he know? He was only a stable boy after all, and he was content to remain so. It was only a hobby to them after all.

Naruto often assisted in preparing horses for hacks and pleasure rides for people staying at the Uchiha estate. He also readied the horses for the regular dressage and jumping that many of the Uchiha family did.

The colt neighed loudly, effectively startling Naruto out of his thought. An answering call came from the stables, which had come into sight. The colt picked up its pace as if it knew that it was time for its evening meal.

The wide dirt road led into the stable yard and the excited colt pulled at the lead rope. Naruto held him in check, and attempted to calm the excited colt as he led him through the wide double doors of the stable. He stopped the let Genma pass with an armload of tack.

"How was he today?" Genma asked as he headed for the tack room.

"Better." Naruto replied. "We're making progress."

"I'm not surprised. You're an excellent trainer, kitten." Genma called over his shoulder. Naruto blushed hotly as he led the colt into his clean stall. He didn't hate that nick name, but when Genma said it like that, he always found himself blushing. That nickname had come from Kakashi when he had first started working here, and it had stuck.

A sharp, impatient nudge from the colt got his attention, and he got to work grooming the creature. He settled into the hypnotizing rhythm of the brush strokes, and breathed in the smell of clean horse. He'd always loved the smell of horses and hack. It was familiar to him, and one he'd known since his childhood. It had been a long day, and all he really wanted was a hot shower, and a quiet evening curled up with a book That would have to wait awhile though. He still had things that needed to be done.

After giving the tired colt a thorough groom, he threw on its cotton rug, and stepped out of the stall. Cheerful chatter and laughter reached his ears as he shut the stable door.

He slipped into the cool darkness of the tack room to pack away his grooming kit and hang the equipment up in their designated places.

"Naruto?" a voice called.

"I'm here."

Sakura, Tenten and Shikamaru joined him in the room.

"You ready to go?" Sakura asked brightly. "You know Iruka likes us to be clean for dinner."

"Just about. What about the others?"

" 'Kashi and Raidou haven't come back from town yet." Shikamaru replied.

"They were picking up the feed weren't they?" Tenten frowned. "It doesn't take….three hours to pick up a few sacks of grain!"

"You know them." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Always getting distracted by something. And always late."

"It's amazing they haven't been fired yet." Shikamaru grumbled.

"Humph. Whatever." Tenten grumbled.

Sakura smiled secretly at Naruto. Those two had always had something between them, but neither had done anything about it, or even admitted their feelings for one another. Sakura was getting impatient, and was bound to start scheming eventually. Naruto was content to just leave them alone and let them sort things out on their own. He was a private person himself, and always made a point to respect each other's privacy. It was only fair.

"What about Kiba?" he asked quietly.

"Genma sent him up to the house a little while ago. He managed to get clobbered by that psycho bitch of a mare." Tenten said disdainfully.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, just a little bruised and put out. Nothing he can't handle." Shikamaru stood up.

"Oi! You kids ready? I'm locking everything up." Genma called.

"Kids?" Tenten shrieked simultaneously as they stormed out to hunt chase Genma down.

Naruto shared a sympathetic wince with Shikamaru as they followed at a more sedate pace. Whatever Genma had been doing, he'd probably have dropped it by now and gone into hiding for fear of the women's wrath.

The sun was finally setting, signaling the end of another day. The sight of the disappearing sun made Naruto feel a little sad, and perhaps a little lonely. During the day, Naruto could distract himself with the pleasures of his daily routines, but at night, there was nothing to keep him from losing himself in his thoughts and memories.

He followed the others along the wide path, which led through the trees to the mansion. Naruto walked a little behind his friends. The girls were still bickering with Genma. Raidou was throwing in a few teasing comments now and then to stir things up again, while Shikamaru merely yawned and told them all it was too troublesome to get involved with their arguing.

None of this was unusual, so why did he feel so depressed. He should be happy; he had everything he been longing for. Security, caring friends and a job he loved.

Something was still missing…

Maybe he was just tired.

He jumped slightly when a strong arm slung itself around his neck. After identifying who it was, he smiled at the newcomer.

"Yo," Kakashi grinned at him.

"Hey."

"What's happening?" Kakashi said, lazily eyeing the group ahead.

"Nothing much. I'd hide from Sakura and Tenten though."

"Don't tell me why. I can already guess." Kakashi groaned with a slight wince.

Naruto smiled at him gently.

"The sooner you face them…"

"The better, yeah I know." Kakashi sighed before focusing on Naruto. "How was your day?"

Kakashi's white hair shone glowed brightly in the moonlight, and his one eye was watching Naruto closely. His other eye was hidden behind some stray strands of hair which hung down over the side of his face. It was always like that, Naruto had realized. In exactly the same position and always covering his left eye. He was a handsome, tall man and from the moment Naruto had met him it had seemed like Kakashi knew him better than he knew himself. It had made him nervous at first but now he was grateful/ He didn't need to explain anything to Kakashi, because he always seemed to know exactly what he was feeling and what was running through his head.

"Good. I got a lot of things done." He replied quietly, swiftly returning his mind to Kakashi's question.

Kakashi sighed and straightened, releasing Naruto. For a moment, Naruto missed the warmth of the other man, but then was glad to have regained his personal space. Sometimes, he craved contact with other people, but most of the time, he preferred people not to touch him.

"You need to relax, Naruto. Not everything's about work."

"I know that. But we have the inspection tomorrow and.." he began but was cut off by the sound of Kakashi smacking his own forehead.

"Shit! I completely forgot!" he swore and Naruto grinned.

' _Not surprising really. He would forget his head if it wasn't already attached,' _he thought.

Sakura's head whipped around at Kakashi's rather loud curse.

"Kashi? Is that you?"

Kakashi tensed for a brief moment before taking off at a flat out run towards the mansion, Sakura hot on his heels and yelling death threats at his retreating back.

Naruto lifted his eyes to the mansion. It was a elegant building three stories high and it sprawled over quite a large area. The entrance faced south, and the large sweeping driveway, lined with red maple trees, swept all the way up to the front doors before curving away to the garage tucked away out of sight. It had always reminded Naruto of a hotel, even though he had never seen much of it. He only ever entered the kitchen and the mess hall meant to be used by the hired help. The household servants stayed in the servants quarters near the kitchen.

Naruto felt as if his tiredness was bone deep as he trudged through the kitchen courtyard to the kitchens. The others had already disappeared into the dining hall, their conversation filling the hallways.

He slipped through the small adjoining hall to the Kitchen where Iruka, Kurenai and Choiji were finishing preparing the meal.

Iruka was in charge of running the household, but Choji was the real ruler of the kitchen. Iruka, being the person that he was, didn't mind in the slightest and happily let Choji do as he would.

Naruto slid himself onto a vacant stool that sat out of the way. The kitchen, like everything else, was large and industrial sized. It was equipt with the latest technologies- all stainless steel and professional looking. Naruto was a little uncomfortable here, even in the casual atmosphere that always accompanied the meals. He didn't like to touch anything in the mansion for fear of breaking or dirtying it.

After a moment, Iruka came over to him bearing a warm smile and a cup of iced water.

"Hey there," Iruka greeted him as he handed him the cold glass. Naruto smile gratefully.

"Thanks."

"How was your day?"

"Long. Busy. How was yours?"

Iruka ran a hand over his messy ponytail and sighed.

"Hectic. I have not sat down in hours. The house has been in an uproar."

Naruto licked moisture from his lips and frowned in confusion.

"Why?"

"No one knows. We've been cleaning like demons all day, preparing guest rooms and the like." Iruka scowled. "No doubt they'll decide to tell us _why_ at the last moment."

Naruto grinned and Iruka smiled back, ruffling his hair affectionately.

"Never mind. Come on. Let's get some dinner into you. You're scrawny." Iruka teased as he pulled Naruto towards the door.

"Huh?"

"Anyone would think we weren't feeding you properly."

Naruto followed him obediently into the hall. Iruka was not one to cross. He was a kind, friendly, dedicated and hardworking man, but you didn't want to get on his bad side. When he got mad, people had a tendency to avoid him, because he had one hell of a mouth on him.

The dining hall consisted of one long table and was surrounded on three sides by windows, providing a view of the gardens.

The servants and stable hands were all good friends, kind of like a makeshift family, so the atmosphere was always relaxed and comfortable. He seated himself between Kurenai and Tenten, and proceeded to serve himself. Now he was craving peace and quiet, but he sighed inwardly and resigned himself to at least another hour of noise and company.

It was now completely dark outside and the meal was finished. Everyone was still sitting around talking and drinking. Naruto got up and quietly headed towards Iruka, Kakashi and Asuma.

He note, with slight curiosity, the intense gaze Kakashi had fixed Iruka with, and the responding faint blush dusting Iruka's cheek bones.

_Perhaps there's something developing there as well…_

He leant over Iruka's shoulder.

"I'm turning in for the night." He said quietly in his ear.

"Okay." Iruka turned his head and kissed his temple lightly. Naruto didn't mind; Iruka was like a father to him, so he was okay with such displays of affection. A few years ago, he would have shied away from any form of physical contact whatsoever…

"Night."

"Sleep well, Naruto."

He nodded and slipped out of the mansion. The cold night air hit his skin and he shivered. He'd always preferred warmth to the cold. Summer and spring to autumn and winter…although he did like the colors in autumn, and snow was very pretty.

The trek back to the stables and the sanctuary of his bedroom seemed long, but in reality only took ten minutes. Before he retired to his room for the night, he let himself into the stables and inhaled the scent of warmth and horse. He loved this smell.

_His father used to smell sweetly of horse and fresh hay…_

The horses were settled and quiet for the night, and he moved from stall to stall, checking that all was well.

Knowing that they were all comfortable, he decided it was time for his shower.

There was ample room in the living quarters. Each had a room of their own and they all shared three bathrooms between them. The rooms were comfortable with wooden floorboards, and were furnished with modern commodities that made living there an enjoyable and comfortable experience.

After his short shower Naruto closed his door and looked around with a contented, if tired, sigh. His room was truly his home. The place he could run to whenever he felt threatened or upset. With the money he had earned and saved, Naruto had decorated his room to his tastes. Beautiful woven rugs in cool blues and purples were spread on the floor and he had bought matching pillows for his small couch. Thick comforters were thrown on his bed along with half a dozen pillows.

Books were tucked neatly into every available place. His other passion was reading. His thirst for books and reading was a trait passed on to him from his father, who had taught him the value of such things. He never let go of the lessons that his father had taught him, and this was no exception.

There were a few photo frames around the room of his friends, some horses, and perhaps the most treasured of all, photos of his father.

Naruto wandered over to his wardrobe and opened the door, revealing a full-length mirror on the inside of one of the doors. After a moment's hesitation, he let his towel drop and stared at the naked figure in the mirror.

No smile graced his features. For awhile now, he had found it hard to smile. His smiles these days didn't seem genuine, and he hated anything fake and superficial, so he found it easier not to smile.

Deep, dark blue eyes stared back at him. They were different from his old eyes. His old eyes used to laugh and dance, overflowing with energy and life. Now, they just seemed quiet somehow. Sad and lonely, eyes that had known suffering. He sometimes scared himself, looking into his own eyes. They weren't eyes he knew anymore.

He was small for his age (only just nineteen). Years of handwork had left him fit and slender with lithe muscles. Working outdoors had given his skin a golden tan.

Reaching up, he ran a hand through his damp hair. Smooth, soft locks of sun kissed gold. As he did so, his eyes caught on the white scars marring the skin of his arm. He ran a thumb over them. There were many scars. They raised white lines on the golden skin which only made them more visible to the eye. He always wore long sleeved shirts to cover them up. He didn't want people to think they were recent, so he hid them from view. He hadn't cut himself for several years now, and he didn't want to remember why he had started in the first place, so he resumed staring at his face in the mirror.

He did not know this person. Not anymore.

Old and painful memories nagged at the edge of his mind as he turned away from the mirror and fell onto his bed. He was too tired to deal with these old scars tonight. All he needed was a little sleep. A little rest and he would be able to get up tomorrow, ready to face it all once more. Ready to do battle with his demons with the coming of the new day.

But not tonight.

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1) a colt is a young male horse, a filly is a young female horse. The terms colt and filly can be applied from birth up to ages of 3 or 4 years old. Horses which are fully matures are called either a mare (female) or a stallion (male). A male which has been castrated is called a gelding. I hope that all made sense!  
2) tack is equipment used to ride a horse, ie. saddle and bridle. 

3) A tack room is where the tack is stored (suprise, suprise!)

Okay, well i understand that there will be alot of terms many of you won't understand, but I'll try to eplain it all as clearly as possibel. But the point of this isn't just the horses. Its about the emotions and how the characters develop. So keep this is mind when reading!

Review and let me know what you think of it! I hope you all liked it! Thanks for reading!


	2. Belonging

Sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter! I got such a wonderful response for the first chapter, and I actually really like this story. So if you have anything that you want me to add, or if you have any comments or queries, you know how to contact me. Here goes….

**Thanks to:**

Sparrow9, Momochi Zabuza, quaeba 24, DarkvsLight, cheerful Pinkstar, and the anonymous reviewer for reviewing the last chapter! It's much appreciated. So thank you!

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me. I also forgot to acknowledge the song from the last chapter. It was Train wreck by Sarah McLaughlin, and this chapter uses the same song. Sorry!

**Warnings: **Nothing for this chapter…

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Part Two: _Belonging_

_Would your eyes like midnight fireflies_

_Light up the trenches where my heart lies_

_Until I can see again_

_To find my way back again?_

Naruto was up before dawn the next day. He needed no alarm to wake him. After years of rising with the sun, it was ingrained within his system. Besides, he had never been much of a big sleeper. Because sleep brought with it dreams, dreams of what had been and of what could have been today.

Naruto was always the first up here. The others hated getting up in the morning and were notoriously lazy when it came to getting up for work. Naruto was perhaps the only one who didn't seem to mind.

Fumbling around in the dark, he managed to find a clean pair of baggy green cargo pants and an old black sweater to pull on over his long sleeved top. It was always cold this early in the morning, and he loathed the cold with a passion. After pulling his work boots on, he left the building, being careful not to make any noise. He didn't like to wake anyone up. In this line of work, you needed to be rested in order to keep up with the active pace.

He made his way through the feed shed and into the stable blocks. His breath formed a white cloud in the cold air. It was still dark this time of the morning, but dawn would soon arrive. The horses would be awake and impatient for their morning feed.

Sure enough, the horses heard him coming and began a chorus of knickers and whinnies which echoed through the pre-dawn stillness.

He pat impatient noses as he headed for light switches. It was time to get their breakfasts ready.

Once he made sure that all the horses were healthy and lively, he headed back towards the feed shed to start mixing the feeds.

Ten minutes later he was joined by a yawning Kakashi, who mumbled a sleepy good morning as he began to scoop dippers of grain into the various buckets set out.

As stable manager, it was his job to divide the work up between the employees, and make sure that everything was done properly. He had devised a system where he didn't need to always be present for things to run as they should. So if he was called away unexpectedly, then things would continue as normal without him. Genma was an unofficial second-in-command, and he knew how everything worked, so there was never any problems. Kakashi, being who he was, was usually always late. The man was very laid back and easy going, but despite this, he made sure that the stables functioned well. He was a huge fan of the word "teamwork" and was constantly stressing its importance to anyone who bothered to listen. Normally, he would sleep in and let the others go about their work. If anyone protested this habit, he would merely grin and say that it was a privilege of being the manager. But no one bothered to contradict him now a days, because everyone knew it was a lost cause and a waste of time and energy.

But today was an exception it seemed. Being inspection day, he needed to be around and ensure that everything was ready.

Naruto greeted him with a shy smile.

As the sun began to rise, and the horses were fed, the others began to emerge and begin to take the horses rugs off and give them their daily grooming.

Naruto listened with half an ear to the morning conversations as he groomed a petite chestnut mare. It was a pleasant ritual that occurred every morning.

"Kiba, I think you should switch your duties with Shika today." He heard Kakashi tell a protesting Kiba. "You should take it easy fro awhile, while those bruises heal up."

"But I'm fine…"

"You're having trouble walking," Kakashi pointed out. "Don't think I didn't see you limp in here a few minutes ago."

"Kakas.."

"Besides, " Kakashi continued, drowning out Kiba's protests, "it means you don't have to deal with that "psycho-bitch" of a mare."

Kiba had given up trying to protest by now, and there was a silence. Naruto knew that Kiba was thinking over this last bit, and that Kakashi would be standing there grinning and waiting for Kiba to realise that he had just lost the argument.

"Fine, fine." Kiba grumbled eventually. "But just for today."

"Of course." Kakashi's triumph was clear in his voice. "Shika, you heard that didn't you?"

"Tch…." Was the only reply.

Naruto laughed quietly to himself as he finished grooming the mare, and put away him brushes. Now it was time to begin cleaning stalls.

There was a buzz of anticipation in the air as the morning wore on. The horses had obviously picked up on it and were more unsettled than usual.

Genma jumped out at him as he was closing door of his last stable, and he let out a rather undignified squeak. Genma laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist."

Naruto smiled as he regained his breath again. "No harm done, Genma-san."

Genma frowned now. "You've known me for going on four years now, and you're still calling me that?"

Naruto blushed and looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Genma-san…its just.."

Genma lifted his chin with a smile. "Hey, if I promise to forgive you, will you call me Genma from now on?"

Naruto nodded, and knew that his cheeks were still aflame. Genma obviously decided to put him out of his misery because, for once, he refrained from teasing him. Honestly, he didn't mind Genma teasing him, because he knew it was only friendly, and no matter how embarrassing, it was always kind and funny. But he was glad this once.

"Kakshi wants you to take Naota out to the arena. He needs to be exercised" Genma told him.

"He's acting up again?" Naruto wiped his sweaty brow on his sleeve.

"Uh-huh. I've got to treat that mare who somehow managed to cut her leg last night, so I don't have time right now, and Kakashi doesn't think he would settle down with anyone else. Think you can handle it?"

"I can. Genma."

Genma grinned at him, and winked as he walked away. "That's my little kitten!"

Naruto's cheeks were set aflame. That was an old nickname he'd received back when he'd first started here, and it had stuck ever since. Genma used it the most though, because he knew it made him blush.

Naruto sighed as he walked into the tack room. Naota was a lovely horse, but when he acted up, he could be a real demon. Fortunately, they usually managed to exercise him before he got to be a problem, which was why Kakashi wanted him ridden now.

He collected the tack, and made his way over to Naotas' stall and set it down outside the bay's stall. The large horse pricked his ears towards him, before lashing out with his rear leg and kicking the wall behind him with a bang. Naota was the biggest horse in the stables, and although he could be a handful, he really was a gentle creature.

"Hey there. Settle down," Naruto told the horse, as he began to saddle the restless gelding.

It was no easy task, as he wouldn't stand still for more than a few seconds at a time, and when he did, he tried to nip Naruto, or would play with the saddle cloths hanging over his door. Naruto endured all this patiently. After all, Naota was a big horse, and he hated being locked up in the stable over night, but the weather was getting colder and wetter, the horses were always stabled during the cold months.

Soon it would be snowing, as winter enveloped them in its cold arms and Christmas approached. Naruto had always been oddly fascinated with rain. Even though he hated the cold, snow had entranced him. He'd always found that there was something melancholy about the winter months. Maybe it was the way the trees were stripped bare. Maybe they felt the same numbness as he did. Yes, he was fascinated with winter, and it was a fascination that had never left him.

He was bandaging Naota's lower legs when Raidou lent over the door and watched him curiously.

"Itachi-san will be here soon." The scarred man said with a roll of his eyes. "Won't we all have a jolly good time?"

Naota laid his ears back at the man and would have bitten him, had he been within reach. Raidou raised an eyebrow.

"Feisty today, isn't he?"

"Hopefully he'll settle down soon." Naruto murmured as he straightened.

"We couldn't have him biting one of the Uchiha's now, could we?" Raidou muttered.

Naruto knew that Raidou was rather cynical when it came to people of the upper classes, and although he hid it well in the presence of the Uchiha's, he had no such pretenses when in the company of Naruto and the other stable hands.

"Well anyway, good luck with him." Raidou grinned. "You'll need it."

"Thanks," Naruto muttered beneath his breath.

Naota stamped impatiently, wanting to stretch his legs. Bracing himself for trouble, Naruto picked up his helmet and led Naota out of his stable. The gelding stepped out smartly as he looked around. Naruto could feel the energy radiating from the gelding; he really needed to be ridden regularly or kept out in the field, or else he was unbearable.

Naruto led Naota out into the bright sunlit stable yard. The stable yard had a fairly simple layout. Two large stable blocks faced each other. They each houses about sixteen horses comfortably, with room to spare. Each had double doors leading to the stable yard, which were usually open, allowing fresh air in. The stables themselves were well lit and ventilated, which was vital to the horses well-being. The third building, was located at one end of each stable block, creating a horse shoe shaped complex. This building was where all the feed and tack was kept, and a door at the back led into the workers dorms, allowing easy access to the stable complex.

Behind the first stable block was a small farrier's workshop and the manure dump. Behind the other (the left one when facing into the complex) was the wash bays.

There were three arenas, and they were situated on either side of the road that led into the stable yard. (You drove past them before entering the yard.) On the left was the outdoor arena. Beyond this arena was a jumping paddock, with a course of jumps set up. On the right were the two indoor arenas, side by side. One was larger than the other, kind of like a small stadium, with seats along the sides. You had to go up a staircase to get to them. The advantage to the bigger stadium was that many horses could be worked in there at the same time, because it was so big. The smaller one had no seating, and could only be used by a few people at the same time. Each was well lit, and protected from the elements.

The outdoor arena was sand, whilst the indoor ones were sawdust.

This whole complex was surrounded by rolling green paddocks, separated by wooden fences.

All together, the whole establishment looked very sophisticated and professional. The horses were sleek and shiny, happy and healthy, and they were well looked after.

Today, he led Naota into the outdoor arena. Genma and Sakura were currently grading (1) the first indoor arena, and Tenten was working a horse in the second.

Leading the fidgety gelding into the centre of the arena, he swiftly prepared himself and swung up onto the tall chestnuts back. Naota nodded his head impatiently as Naruto gathered up the reins.

He nudged Naota with his heels and he surged forward at an energetic walk. Naruto guided him onto the outer track of the arena, and held him in firmly, as he strained to go faster.

For a moment, he reveled in the feel of the moving horse beneath him, and the warm morning sun shining down on them. He could feel Naota's untapped energy as the horse moved, he could hear him breathing and could smell the sweet scent of horse. This was where he truly belonged. He loved horses, and everything that came with them. Their natural beauty, their intelligence and kind natures, the way they moved and their unique scent. This was the place where he felt relatively at peace with himself. He could let go of everything, forget the things that had happened, and concentrate on what the horse was telling him.

He relaxed in the saddle and released a breath, all the tension and anxiety from last night fading away and then disappearing completely. Smiling, he straightened and prepared to trot.

An hour later, Naruto slowed Naota back to a trot, then a walk. Although he was a very pleasant horse to ride, Naota lacked training in dressage. He was, essentially, a show jumper, and therefore he found some of the dressage maneuvers rather hard. He often had difficulty balancing himself, especially when working in circles, so Naruto had spent the last hour putting him through some exercises to improve this, and to build up his confidence in this area. This had taken the edge off his energy, but Naota was beginning to get frustrated, so Naruto decided it was time to do something different.

Slightly breathless, he patted Naota's hot neck.

"That was good, Naruto. He's getting better isn't he?"

Naruto looked up to see Kakashi leaning against the fence and watching.

"He is. He still needs some work, though. Perhaps Tenten or Kiba should do some work with him. They're better at this than I am."

"Mmm. Maybe I'll get Tenten to do some lunge work with him tomorrow." Kakashi said thoughtfully. "Take him out for a gallop, and let him stretch his legs out."

Naruto nodded.

"When you're done, give him a hose down, then turn him out into the paddock."

Kakashi opened the gate to the arena and Naruto walked Naota out, heading for one of the roads that led out towards the forested area of the property.

"I'll expect you back in an hour and a half. If you're not back by then, I'm sending someone out to look for you." Kakashi warned him.

Because it was such a large property, it was easy to get lost and hard to locate people. All the stable staff were required to carry a mobile in order to keep in contact with each other.

Naruto left the stable complex via a large dirt road. It meandered around the fields and into the forest. It was usually deserted and was therefore used as an exercise track. It really was a lovely trail, shaded by trees and sunlight filtering through the leaves.

He let Naota moved into a trot for a bit. When they reached the tree line, Naota moved into an easy canter of his own accord and would have gone faster if Naruto had let him. He held him in check for a few minutes, until they reached a large field. It was perfect for galloping, as it was large enough to fit in a good gallop, but it didn't seem endless either. On the far side, Naruto could make out the trees, and he knew that there was a river a short way in.

Naota needed no encouraging as he leapt forward into a flat out gallop. Naruto crouched low over Naota's neck and let him run. The wind roared past his ears, and tugged at loose strands of hair. Exhilaration and adrenalin flooded his system as they sped over the ground. Nothing matter, except the raw power of Naota and the speed at which they were flying.

When Naruto felt Naota begin to breathe heavily, he slowed him back to a canter. The horse obliged reluctantly, and by the time they had reached the trees, they were walking.

He always felt amazing after galloping. Naota's sides were heaving, and he was lathered with sweat, but he seemed to be alert and content; they were tired, but pleasantly so.

Naruto rubbed the damp neck.

"Good boy."

Naota's neck arched slightly and he shook his head, his bridle jingling. All his excitable spirits had been soothed, and he was once more a pleasant horse.

He dismounted when they reached the river, and he let Naota drink a little. It was a peaceful river, shallow and clean. River rocks were patterned with ripples as the sun hit the water. The river was surrounded by lush greenery. And it was quiet. Birds sang, and frogs called, but it was peaceful here.

He hoped he would always be here.

Naota, having drunk his fill, began to playfully paw at the water, creating huge splashes and wetting everything within range.

"Hey, enough of that," Naruto laughed, pulling him away from the water.

He turned him back the way they had come and remounted. They had barely been gone for an hour, but Naota didn't need any more work today, so he headed back to the stables at a lazy walk, allowing Naota a long rein to stretch his neck down.

It was a pleasant journey back to the stables, and Naruto took the time to appreciate his surroundings. It really was a beautiful day, and perhaps would be one of the last for a while. Winter was coming, and so were the snows effectively putting an end to these glorious autumn days.

Naruto closed his eyes, and let the warm sun fall on his face.

Fluffy white clouds drifted lazily across the blue sky, and Naruto smiled when he looked at them. Shikamaru would be happy. One of the girls would probably find him on his back in the grass somewhere, with his hands folded behind his head as he watched the clouds. He could imagine the scene now; they would be yelling, and Shikamaru would be grumbling about "troublesome women" interrupting his cloud gazing time. Some things never changed, and probably never would.

Naruto let Naota amble into the Stable yard at his own pace, and he noted, as he approached, the unusual amount of activity. Most of the morning work should be done by now.

Kiba joined him as he dismounted, and took his helmet as he pulled it off.

"You'd better hurry and put him away."

"What's going on?"

"Itachi-san just left. Kakashi called a staff meeting." Kiba told him, before hurrying off as his name was called.

Naruto frowned as he undid Naota's girth and slid the saddle off his sweaty back. He led the tired horse into a wash bay.

It was unusual for Kakashi to call meetings. Naruto was curious as to what was the cause for this, but was glad that he hadn't been present when Itachi had come. The man made him nervous. He was so cold and expressionless. Almost like he wasn't human at all, and if he did have emotions, he hid them well. Itachi was notorious for his intelligence, and it was no wonder he had been named the designated heir to the Uchiha's businesses. Naruto didn't have a clue what the Uchiha's made their fortunes in, and it didn't really matter to him anyway, for it didn't affect what he did in the slightest.

Not only was Itachi intelligent, but he had inherited the Uchiha's stunning looks. He'd seen Uchiha Fugaku, and he was a remarkable man by himself, but combine him with Uchiha Mikoto, and the result you got was obviously amazing. Both Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke were probably the most lusted after faces in the district. He had never met Uchiha Sasuke, and he had only glimpsed Itachi before conveniently finding something else to do, but judging from what others had said, he knew that the Uchiha's were a beautiful looking family.

He turned the hoses off, and gave Naota a quick rub down before throwing his cotton stable rug over him and fastening it in place.

After turning him loose in a paddock, he quickly hurried to the stable block where everyone was waiting for him. Several were sprawled carelessly on the bales of hay. The girls sat on top of the closed feed bins, which held the grain and swung their legs. Naruto seated himself next to Kiba and Shikamaru.

Kakashi strolled in after a minute.

"Sorry I'm late, but there was this poor little squirrel…"

"LIAR!" Sakura, Tenten and Kiba yelled.

Kakashi shrugged. "Right. Moving on, I have news."

"We figured that out. Tell us already!" Kiba wriggled impatiently.

Clearing his throat, Kakashi seated himself on an upended bucket.

"Uchiha Itachi came today to inform us that his younger brother Uchiha Sasuke, is coming home for awhile and he's bringing with him several friends."  
"Uchiha Sasuke, huh? Haven't seen him around for a few years." Genma mused thoughtfully, pushing his hair from his face.

"Yeah, how long has it been, Gen?" Raidou asked. "Three, four years?"

"I don't remember him." Kiba stated.

"Well you wouldn't. He hasn't been home since before you lot began to work here." Genma replied.

"So…how does this involve us?" Tenten asked, obviously confused and curious at the same time.

"They're bringing their horses."

"Surprise surprise." Shikamaru muttered with a roll of his eyes as he lay back in the sweet hay.

Tenten threw a food scoop at him, and he grunted as it made contact.

"When are they coming?" Sakura asked as this exchange took plae.

"This evening." Kakashi replied, apparently disinterested in the subject.

"What! Tonight? But that's…" Kiba began helplessly.

"Short notice, I know, but there's nothing we can do about it. Now, Itachi has asked me to assign one of you to each of their horses. You will be responsible for grooming, saddling, feeding and cleaning its stall. If they ask you to exercise their horse for them, then you'll do that too. It'll be your first priority, so the rest of your duties will be divided between those of us who don't have a horse. Is that clear enough?"

There was a chorus of grunts and muttered comments, but no protests were made. Kakashi quieted the noise with a wave of his hand.

"Now, lets see." He murmured as he thought. "Shikamaru, you'll take Yamanaka Ino's horse. Genma, you'll have Hyuuga Neji."

"Hyuuga, you said? Isn't he…" Genma asked, looking displease.

Kakashi nodded, and appeared to be sympathetic. "He is. You'll have fun. Trust me."

This last part was accompanied by a wicked grin, and a sly wink. Genma groaned.

"And…Naruto, you'll have Sasuke's horse."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock and he sat up straighter, unsure if what he heard was correct.

"What! I'm not sure that's a good idea," Raidou protested immediately.

"I agree. I mean, if it was one of the others it might be okay, but an Uchiha?" Genma added doubtfully.

"It's okay. I'll do it." Naruto spoke up in a small voice.

Despite his words, he was nervous and agitated on the inside. Uchiha Sasuke? Although he'd never met him before, Naruto knew he'd be uncomfortable in his presence, and shy. It had potential for disaster.

Kakashi sighed.

"If I could change it, I would. But Itachi-san requested that Naruto be the one to look after Sasuke's horse. I can't change it." This stopped any protests his friends had, and they looked rather put out and upset.

"Anyway Naruto, you'll be fine. You can handle it." Kakashi said, reassuringly.

Naruto nodded, but said nothing more as a strange silence descended over the group for a moment before Kakashi cleared his throat again.

"Now, there's some things I want done before they arrive…"

* * *

Hope you all understood that! Anyways, here's some explanations! 

1)Grading means smoothing over. Usually done with a machine or a car?

2)Winter in Japan is supposed to be mild, except in the north (ie Hokkaido) so just imagine that we're in Hokkaidou. I saw some pretty pictures of it on the net, so if you wanna know, look it up.

3)Sasukes Father is Uchiha Fugaku, and his mother is Uchiha Mikoto for thos who didn't know. I also looked this up on the net. You can correct me if I'm wrong.

So, the end of another chapter. It took awhile I know, and I apology. But I'm graduating on Friday! How cool! So anyway, I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope to update soon! Cya!


	3. A Strange Encounter

Hey there everyone, long time no see! I've decided to star putting all my notes and comments after each chapter, so that you can enjoy reading it first! So this time…..its all at the end!

**Disclaimer**: Naruto isn't mine, and neither are the song lyrics. The song is "Beauty and the Beast" by Stevie Nicks.

**Warnings: **None for this chapter.

* * *

Part Three: _A Strange Encounter_

_My darling lives in a world that is not mine_

_An old child misunderstood, out of time_

_Timeless is the creature who is wise_

_And timeless is a prisoner in disguise._

The rest of that day passed by in a flurry of activity. Spare stables were thoroughly cleaned, everything was straightened and anything that needed fixing was fixed. Horses were exercised and put out to grass for the day.

Naruto was a nervous wreck. Fear and anxiety twisted his stomach and gave him a pounding headache. As the hours passed, he worked on nervous energy, not really wanting to be idle. If he was idle then he had time to think about the torture the next few months were likely to be.

He had no idea why this was making him so scared. If he was only nervous, then that would have been fine, but the outright fear he was feeling was upsetting him more than anything else. Perhaps it was because he had never been comfortable around the Uchiha's, or indeed, any person who came from an upper class background. It wasn't something he normally had to deal with, so he wasn't used to being in such situations, and had no idea how he should act around them. As it was, he hardly ever ran into any of the Uchiha's. When they were around, he would usually find an excuse not to be there. There were always horses that needed exercising after all.

But now, he was going to be in the presence of one _every single day_ for the next few months. It was a very daunting prospect to Naruto. He had been painfully shy and self conscious for years which only added to the problem.

All of this thinking was making his headache work, and his stomach growled as he realized that he'd been sweeping the same area for the past ten minutes. He'd been so preoccupied that he'd missed lunch break, and his mind definitely wasn't on his work, as it should be.

Unfortunately, Kakashi had spotted this.

"Naruto." The pale haired man was frowning at him. "Stop worrying so much and take a break. You'll collapse from exhaustion if you don't and Iruka will kill me if he finds out."

"But…"

"No buts. Go." Kakashi pointed a finger to the door.

Reluctantly, he set his broom aside and feeling as if he was being banished somehow, he left. The sunshine was bright and he had to shield his eyes while his eyes adjusted.

"Oi! Naruutttooooo!" a voice called his name.

Following the sound of Kiba's voice, he rounded the corner of the second stable block and found the said person stretched out beneath a shady tree with Shikamaru and the women. Sakura and Tenten were eating bento boxes; Kiba had already scoffed his and Shikamaru was cloud gazing. This was the spot where they normally ate lunch together. Underneath this particular oak tree, the grass was green and soft. Nearby was the farriers small workshop and the wash bays. It was not uncommon for water fights to break out here during the warmer months, using the hoses in the wash bay, and their own water bottles.

But it was autumn now, and the nice days would soon be ending and giving way to the cooler, and much wetter seasons. The trees were already losing their leaves and they'd already had some rain but today seemed to be one of those lovely autumn days, where the weather was cooler but pleasant, and the sun shone warmly.

He joined his friends beneath the tree and accepted the bento lunch that Tenten had made for him.

"Phew! What a day, eh?" Kiba exclaimed as he flopped onto his back.

"It's not over yet." Sakura muttered.

"Yeah. I can't believe they didn't tell us sooner." Tenten agreed. "It would've been nice."

"Tch. Damned troublesome."

Tenten threw a chopstick at Shikamaru.

"Is that your answer to everything? Why can't you think of something interesting to say for a change?"

And so the arguing began with Kiba looking on and laughing.

Sakura smiled at Naruto.

"Relax a bit Naruto. Things won't be as bad as you're imagining them to be."

He stopped picking at his food and took a mouthful when he realized how hungry he was.

"Yeah, I know. But how am I supposed to…"

"Act? Be yourself. Don't try to hide from them, because they'll think you're afraid of them and will take advantage of you. And stop worrying about what others think of you and start living for yourself."

He gave he a small smile. "It's easy to say that, but…"

"It's hard to actually do it, I know. Just give it a try. That's a start, isn't it?"

He nodded and accepted a drink bottle from her. Sakura's eyes were thoughtful as she contemplated the leaves above her head.

"I wonder what he's like? What they're all like?"

Naruto shrugged. It was really none of their business as far as he was concerned. He just wanted to do his job and keep out of their way as much as possible. He didn't care if no one noticed him, or acknowledged him, he just wanted to be left alone. It was better than suffering in the presence of strangers.

He talked for awhile with Sakura, but he really wanted to get back to work. He didn't have to think about things other than what he was doing.

The colt needed to be exercised today, and he knew that if it was going to get done today, he needed to do it soon. Kakashi knew that he was training the young horse, and excused him from his duties in order to work with the colt a little every day.

So when they reached a suitable point in the conversation, Naruto got up.

"I've got to…"

"Get back to work, we know." Tenten sighed. "Just take it easy, won't you?"

He nodded and hurried away with his head lowered. As he entered the stable yard, he looked up at the sound of hooves. Kakashi already had the colt saddled and ready, and was carrying a riding helmet in one hand.

"I want you to stay close today. Just a simple workout." Kakashi told him. "He hasn't been ridden much, so be careful."

Naruto nodded and took the reins. The colt wuffled affectionately at his fingers.

"Has he got a name yet?" Naruto asked shyly.

Kakashi smiled down at him. "I believe they named him Anikhetos. But of a mouthful."

"Its beautiful." Naruto smiled and rubbed the colts face.

"A foreign name I believe. It suits him."

"I think I'll call him Annie for short."

"Off you go. Not too long, remember. I want to feed up soon." Kakashi told him as he left.

Annie was alert and bright with energy as Naruto led him into the cool interior of the second indoor arena. Annie scented the air curiously as Naruto tightened the girth slightly and let down the stirrups. He slipped a foot into a stirrup, gathered the reins and swung gently into the saddle. Annie braced his legs as he adjusted to the unfamiliar weight on his back. Naruto waited patiently until he felt some of the tension drain from the colt before gently urging him to walk forward. Slightly nervous and fidgety, Annie stepped out quickly, his steps fast and bordering on a trot. Naruto eased him back slightly until he was walking at a comfortable pace.

Annie was still nervous and tense as Naruto guided him around the outer track at a walk. This wasn't the first time he had ridden Annie, now was it the first time the colt had been ridden. When they'd bought him, he had been broken in to the basics, but they people who had done it, hadn't reinforced the training with practice, so Naruto had undertaken the task of doing so. He also planned to teach him dressage and jumping when he was ready for it, but that wouldn't be for awhile yet. First he had to get him used to being ridden.

Kakashi liked to use Naruto for training youngsters such as this one. It was better to have a smaller, lighter person on a young horses back than a large, heavy one, like Genma of Kakashi. Because he was light and small, the strain on the horses developing back muscles wasn't as great. It took awhile for the muscle to strengthen enough to carry normal people/

At first Kakashi had always been with him to supervise when he was riding the younger horses, but once he had seen that Naruto was experienced enough to handle them alone, he had left Naruto to his own devices. Naruto had appreciated the trust Kakashi had put in his, and it only served to strengthen his respect for the older man.

Annie was relaxed now, and calm. Naruto had been riding him regularly now, and after the first few minutes, he had gotten over the initial shock of having someone on his back and was responsive and willing. It was the same every time they repeated the routine; once the colt was comfortable he would take him through his paces and begin some very basic exercises.

An hour later, Annie was sweating and getting frustrated and Naruto knew it was time to call it a day. Once you lost their attention, they stopped co-operating, and there was no use trying to get them to learn knew things when they were uncooperative. Naruto dismounted and scratched Annie's ears as he whispered words of praise to him. Then grey snorted and rubbed his head against Naruto's shoulder.

It took a few moments before he realized that he wasn't the only person in the arena. Turning quickly, he saw Uchiha Itachi standing a few meters away watching him.

Shocked and nervous, he bowed.

"Sir." He murmured, unsure what to expect from this strange situation.

"You have been informed of my wished, correct?" Itachi's deep voice echoed slightly in the large space surrounding them.

For a moment, Naruto was disorientated and confused as he racked his brains trying to remember what this was about. After a moment, it clicked; Sasuke.

"Hai, sir. Kakashi-san made it clear to me." Naruto replied softly, keeping his eyes lowered respectfully.

There was a whisper of movement and he jumped when a warm hand lifted his chin. Dark eyes met his and fear gripped his heart.

_What was he going to do to him? Had he done something to offend him? Had he done something wrong?_

But it seemed Naruto had misinterpreted the situation, for Itachi made no further move towards him. He merely studied his face closely, the way one would inspect an animal they wanted to buy. Naruto suppressed a shiver with great difficulty.

There was a disturbing stillness in those eyes that chilled him to the bone. What scared him even more was the fact that there was not one trace of emotion in those eyes. They were just….empty.

"See that you do as he wished. Do not disappoint him, or you will answer to me. Am I understood?" The question said in an almost inaudible voice, but it rang in Naruto's ears clearly enough.

He _knew _that Itachi wasn't just talking about looking after Sasuke's horse- that much, at least was blatantly obvious. But whatever it was that he was missing, was something very important, and no matter what it was Naruto couldn't quite grasp it. He daren't ask Itachi what it was he was referring to, because that was just not proper. He would look like a simpleton and that was the last thing he wanted. Better to just agree and hope he hadn't just condemned himself to some sort of painful humiliation.

"Hai, sir. I understand."

Itachi dropped his hand. But didn't step away. Annie shifted behind him, obviously sensing the tension in the air and not liking it. The colt's movement drew Itachi's gaze and attention away from Naruto, and he almost sighed in relief.

"He is a fine animal. You're training him?"

"I am, sir."

Itachi looked Annie over for a few moments before returning that penetrating gaze to Naruto. Naruto was afraid to move under the intensity of that gaze, so he remained as still as possible, and waited as those intense eyes traveled over his body.

"Remember what I said."

Naruto nodded numbly.

"Itachi-sama?"

The strange conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Kakashi and Genma. Naruto was flooded with relief at the sight of them- a distraction at last.

"What is it, Kakashi?" Itachi asked impassively.

His eyes, Naruto noted, lacked the intensity they had held moments before.

"Sir, there's a phone call for you. It's your father."

Itachi turned and moved towards Kakashi with that same grace and stillness that was his presence. Kakashi glanced once at Naruto before leading The Uchiha heir away.

Genma, however stayed. Once Itachi and Kakashi had gone, he hurried over to where Naruto stood and touched his shoulder briefly.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Naruto blinked, still dazed and confused from his encounter with Itachi. With a little difficulty, he focused on the concerned face before him and managed to summon up a weak smile.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine."

The reins were dangling uselessly in his hands, so Genma took them gently from him.

"If Itachi has taken an interest in you, then you'd better make sure you don't screw up. Its obvious he's been watching you." Genma told him.

"He has?"

"Never mind that now kitten." Genma dismissed it quickly, obviously not wanting to worry Naruto further. "You go and take a shower, while I put away the colt."

"B-but…"

"We're having dinner early tonight remember? I've already had my shower, so you go ahead now. We'll wait for you."

Reluctant to abandon his duties, but suddenly wanting to be alone, Naruto thanked Genma and left as quickly as he could. His eyes didn't see anything around him; the only thing in his mind was making it to the bathroom as quickly as possible.

* * *

Not a very exciting chapter, I'll admit, but it sets the stage for the next few, I promise! So, I'm finally making some progress with the story. And I know you're all dying for Sasuke's first appearance, so you'll all be pleased to know that he is arriving very soon! Yay! 

I appologise for the long wait, but things have been hectic these last few month- I won't bore you with the details, so please accept my apologies instead! The next chapter will be soon!

And I'd like to let you all know, that I don't claim to be a horse expert. I do have experience with them, and yes, I can ride, but I am no way an expert, so if I make any mistakes, or if you feel the need to correct me feel free to do so (but nicely mind!) Also, I won't be going into specific details about the procedures involved in handling horses, but I'm sure you'll understand that, right?

Thank you for all of you support, and especially those who reviewed!

**Thanks go to:**

**Quaebah24, cFox, RosemaryKiss, Fallen Dragon, DarkvsLight, Sparrow9, Chubby-King-Chocobo, Yit-ha, RedRosePrincess678, Lost Ninja #1, Cheerful-Pinkstar, GoingCommando, Native Sakura, Gothic-Rez, Kitsurune, Lambentness. **

Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll review! Give me a reason to post the next chapter, peoples!


	4. Only Lonely

**Disclaimer: **Naruto isn't mine! The song is Absence of Fear by Jewel.

**Warnings: **Angst, Shounen ai.

* * *

Part Four: _Only Lonely_

_Inside my skin there is this space_

_It twists and turns_

_It bleeds and aches_

_Inside my heart there's an empty room_

_It's waiting for lightning_

_It's waiting for you_

_And I am wanting_

_And I am needing you here_

_Inside the absence of fear._

Closing the bathroom door, he locked it behind him and sagged against it at last. He was shaking, trembling like a terrified horse. Naruto was scared of Uchiha Itachi all right, but he had no idea he was this scared of him. The sheer force of his presence was astounding and had affected him in a way he hadn't thought possible.

He was a weakling, a coward, and he felt horribly ashamed of himself. He had shown just how pathetic he really was. Although Genma was a friend, and a good one, he was still terrified of showing him how weak he was.

With a tight throat and an aching stomach, he shed his clothing and stepped into the shower. Turning it on to full blast, he closed his eyes as hot water hit his body. Water ran through his hair and over his face, but he made no move to wipe it from his eyes.

Could things get any worse? He knew he should be happy just to be alive, but it wasn't that easy sometimes. At times like this he felt as if he was floundering in a thick grey fog of misery, unable to see anything or move forward.

He had no idea why Itachi had evoked such a reaction from within him, but once again, he felt depression fold him in it's cold, clammy blanket. His throat was painfully tight now, and he was struggling not to cry.

He missed his father; he was nineteen and he still missed his father. It had been four long years, and he wanted him back. Naruto wanted to feel safe and normal again. To breathe in his fathers comforting and familiar scent and to live once more.

But there was no going back. He could only struggle on without him, and try to build a normal life for himself.

Steam drifted away to hover near the ceiling, and Naruto slowly soaped himself over and rinsed off. Sweat and dust ran away down the drain, but he still felt dirty. Unclean somehow. He was a lowlife, undeserving of all he had. Naruto had a job he loved, friends who he loved and who loved him in return, and a place he could call home. Yet he was falling apart again. He was falling, clutching desperately at an illusion of normality. Whenever things seemed like they were getting better at last, something would happen which pushed him back down into the black depths of despair and guilt. It was a never-ending cycle, and he didn't know what he could do to save himself.

Perhaps he deserved what he got. Maybe this was his punishment and everything that had happened was because of his crime and his sin.

A soft knock on the door made him jump.

"Naruto?" Sakura called. "Is every thing okay in there?"

"Everything's fine." He replied quickly as he turned off the water.

"I'm leaving some clothes for you outside the door okay? Come out whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, Sakura-chan."

"No problem."

He listened to her walk away as he stepped out of the shower and onto the bathmat. His eyes caught on a razor on the vanity and he stared, he wrists tingling with imagined pain. He longed for that pain; it reminded him that he was still alive, and that it was his punishment for what he had done. Running his fingers over the thin scars on his wrists, he contemplated the idea.

_If only he could…_

Swallowing thickly, he turned away. He didn't want to walk down that path again. He was afraid of where it might take him and of what he might do. Naruto didn't want to hurt the others around him. He had already caused too much pain.

Naruto dried himself off quickly and retrieved the pile of neatly folded clothes Sakura had left. He pulled on the dark denim jeans and the long sleeved black top and quickly dried his wet hair. Never had he worn short-sleeved shirts around his friends, but he knew they suspected the reason why. He hid his arms, his wrists in particular from the world, ashamed. His own dirty little secret.

Dinner that night was a low-key affair, lacking its usual cheerful chatter and the laughter was muted. All in all, the atmosphere was oppressive and Naruto wanted nothing more than to escape to his room again.

Genma kept shooting him worried looks, but he didn't say anything. Naruto wanted to shrink under the table to avoid his looks. He felt very small and humiliated about the incident this afternoon.

Eventually Kakashi stood up. "We should get back. C'mon guys."

With groans and grumblings, the stable hands all stood and filed out. Naruto was the last to stand, and was about to follow when Iruka caught his arm.

"Come and see me sometime tomorrow, ne? We'll have coffee and talk." Iruka whispered with a warm smile.

Naruto smiled back. Iruka always seemed to know when things weren't going well, and spending time with him always made Naruto feel a little better. In a way he supposed Iruka was a kind of foster parent for the ones he'd lost.

"I'll try, Ruka."

He nodded and squeezed his shoulder. "Don't let tonight stress you out too badly. You'll be fine." He smiled.

Naruto nodded and hurried after the others. Outside in the gardens, Shikamaru was waiting for him.

"Kakashi wants to talk to you as soon as possible."

"Right." He fell in step beside his friend. He often enjoyed spending time with Shikamaru. The man was very laid back and relaxed, and seemed to have a calming effect on even the most temperamental creatures. It was a quality that was extremely useful when working with horses. Things could get rather hectic and stressful when working with animals, horses in particular, and such an attitude was always beneficial.

"Naruto," Shikamaru's voice jerked him from his pensive gloom.

"You think too much."

That simple statement took him by surprise and threw his thoughts into a confused turmoil. Eventually, when he couldn't make any sense of his friends word, he had to ask.

"What do you mean?"

Shikamaru sighed. "You over think things. It doesn't have to be as hard as you're imagining it to be. Your own thoughts drive you to distraction and you lose sight of what's really important.

"And what's that?" Naruto bit his lip and glanced at Shikamaru.

"No one can make you feel small unless you let them. So stop being so afraid of everyone and remember that you're a person too. Just like the Uchiha's and just like we are. You're not beneath anyone. Not the uchiha's, not anyone."

Naruto's jaw almost dropped in shock. Not only was he surprised but the amount of words he had said, but he had never guessed that he was so…wise. He was so laid back that everyone assumed he was a little slow in the head. As it turned out, he was exactly the opposite. He was abnormally smart- Naruto had always known that. What he hadn't guessed was that the lazy, bored exterior was just a façade. Shikamaru was obviously the type to sit back and observe. He watched what happened around him and only drew his own conclusions about something when he had all the facts.

Felling humbled by his friends words, he smiled at him.

"Am I that transparent?"

A corner of Shikamaru's mouth twitched, relieving the tension and indicating his amusement as he folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the brightening stars.

"To me, yes. To others, not so much."

Naruto felt some of the tension drain out of his stomach and let his shoulders sag a little. It would be very embarrassing if he'd been trying to hide his misery only to have everyone see through his efforts and know the truth.

"Thank you, Shika. I'll think about what you've said." He promised.

"Good. Now we'd better hurry. I think that's Tenten waving at us." Shikamaru squinted down the road through the near darkness. The lights had not come on yet, so it was easy to trip and stumble on the road.

"SHIKAMARU! NARUTO!" Tenten called, her irritation evident.

"Tch. So troublesome." Shikamaru groused, not speeding up at all.

Upon hearing those shouted words, Naruto felt his nervous tension return, tightening his shoulders and causing butterflies to dance in his stomach. In fact, he had actually begun to feel a little sick. He couldn't bring himself to think about what was coming.

"Shikamaru! I swear…" Tenten's threat echoed hollowly in the open space around them, but they fell on deaf ears; Naruto was lost in his own thoughts again, and his mind barely registered Shikamaru's sigh.

* * *

I think this just may be the shortest chapter I've ever posted! I decided to make this one shorter because in the next chapter, Sasuke arrives and I figured that should have a chapter all of it's own! Wow! I got heaps of reviews for the last chapter! THANK YOU ALL! I promise to reply to all your reviews this time!

By the way, if Naruto seems a little too wimpy in this chapter, don't worry. This will improve in the next few chapters! I think its just a case of misconception of his behalf!

Hope you all enjoyed reading, and I promise to update really soon!

Ja Ne!


	5. Cruelty and Beauty

**Disclaimer:** The characters nor the world of Naruto do not belong to me!

**Warnings: **The arrival of Sasuke! (Try not to drool too much, folks!) Apart from that not much else. Shounen Ai, swearing, etc. Don't like, don't read

**IMPORTANT NOTICE! **I'm currently in need of someone who can help me co-write a lemon for this story. Obviously, it'll be between Sasuke and Naruto. Any offers/suggestions, please let me know! I'd appreciate any help you guys could give me!

* * *

Part Five:_ Cruelty and Beauty_

_It's amazing_

_How you make your face just like a wall_

_How you take your heart and turn it off_

_How I turn my head and lose it all_

Naruto watched and tried not to fidget as the horse van pulled up in the courtyard. It was followed immediately by a sleek black BMW limousine with black tinted windows and shiny silver trim. Even the horse van was impressive- it looked to be one of the most expensive and sophisticated brand names about.

Naruto stood with the other stable hands; the ones who weren't required had retreated to the common room for the night. He was hidden behind Genma and Kakashi, who were speaking quietly to one another. Beside him, Shikamaru was quiet, and managing to look extremely bored and alert at the same time.

Uchiha Itachi was also present, standing a little to the side by himself. As the driver of the van got out, he looked sideways at Naruto and beckoned to him slightly.

Hiding his reluctance as best as he could, he left the safety of his friends and walked over to join him. Those cold eyes slid over him once before returning to observe the scene before him.

The driver was lowering the ramp slowly, as noises of restlessness came from the horses within. Voices from the other side of the van where the limo had stopped drifted on the cool night air and reached Naruto's ears, making him slightly more agitated than he already was.

"Remember my orders, Uzamaki. If you disappoint him, you'll answer to me. I'll accept no excuses."

Naruto tried to hide the fact that he was trembling slightly. He bowed his head demurely and kept his eyes on the ground.

"I understand, Uchiha-sama." He said softly.

"Good."

Naruto turned to go back to the others; there was no way a Uchiha would want to be seen with a servant of any kind.

Once he'd rejoined the others, he breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure and his wits.

He watched as two people appeared by the ramp, talking with each other and managing to look incredibly beautiful (which made sense, seeing as the Uchiha's only associated with other beautiful people and business associates) at the same time.

One was a stunning young woman, with long ash blond hair held up in an impossibly long ponytail. She wore low slung jeans which were so tight they seemed to be moulded to her skin. Her top was of a pale grey silver, a strange halter-neck top which left her back bare. Long silver earrings dangled from her ears, and carefully applied makeup enhanced her perfect features. An elegant forelock of hair hung seductively over one eye- no doubt to make her more appealing to men.

"High heels? In a stable?" Genma mutter incredulously.

She was indeed wearing high heels, which made her long legs seem even longer.

Naruto turned his attention to the other person accompanying the female.

For a moment, he thought that the person was a female too, but after seeing the face, he was definitely a male. Yet there was something slightly androgynous about his features. Naruto couldn't quite pin it down, but he definitely had the fine features of an aristocrat. Pale, almost colourless silver eyes surveyed the courtyard, and Naruto shivered at the cold ignorance in that gaze, shifting to hide a bit better behind Genma. The man's pale skin seemed to catch the moonlight and reflect it back at the world. It didn't look sickly either. Just beautiful…He was tall, taller than the female and he was slim and graceful. His most stunning feature, however, was his hair.. It fell down his back in shining, dead straight cascades. Almost waist length, it was so glossy and fine and luscious that Naruto wondered how he kept it so…perfect. There wasn't a hair out of place on his head, and the colour itself was amazing- a deep mahogany brown with coppery highlights.

Naruto shook his head slightly, confused at his own thoughts.

Suddenly, a third male joined the two, and Naruto's eyes became fixated on his face. He was looking at a god. A very handsome, beautiful god.

Naruto took in his appearance, feeling slightly stunned. If the other two were beautiful then he was…exquisite.

Shining, blue-black trendles of hair fell over a pair of the darkest eyes he had ever seen. His skin was slightly less pale than the other males' but it was still practically flawless. He possessed a thin nose and sensuous lips which any person, male or female would swoon over. His shoulders were broad, but not so much as Kakashi's or Genma's. His chest tapered down to slim hips and long, long legs. This was definitely Uchiha Sasuke. And he was definitely not happy. Although his eyes were completely emotionless (a Uchiha trademark it seemed) his stiff and tense posture betrayed him.

Sasuke's long legs were encased in black dress pants , his torso covered by a black long-sleeved button up shirt which was undone to reveal a body hugging black tank top (obviously he liked black. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, revealing muscular forearms and graceful slender hands, which were covered by fingerless black leather gloves, much like the ones the stable hands used when handling horses.

As Sasuke headed towards Itachi, Naruto remembered that if he didn't start breathing again he would probably pass out. The possibility of that happening in front of these Uchiha's mortified him.

He clenched his hands to stop them from shaking.

Sasuke was beautiful. Naruto's breath was catching painfully in his throat and he tried to tell himself that he was being stupid. Even though he looked beautiful, that didn't mean he had a good personality.

But damn….

"Easy, Naruto," Shikamaru whispered. "Remember what I said."

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

_No one can make you feel small unless you let them._

But still, in the presence of such…exotic beauty, he suddenly felt very small, and very, very ordinary.

"God! Can you imagine the attitudes that go with those faces?" Genma muttered, but even he seemed slightly subdued.

Naruto was doomed.

Sasuke crossed the yard in a brisk and slightly impatient manner. He seemed to lose that impatience as he stopped in front of his older brother. In fact, they seemed to soften very slightly towards each other. There were definitely similarities between the two, and yet they still managed to look very different. Naruto vaguely wondered how that was possible.

He couldn't hear their voices because they were speaking too softly, but he automatically stiffened when they both looked over to where they were standing, before walking over.

"Kakashi-san, I take it everything is ready for our horses?" Sasuke asked coolly. His voice wasn't as deep as Itachi's, but it was definitely smoother; dark, bittersweet coffee. Naruto shivered at the sheer magnetism in that voice.

"It is, Sasuke-sama. Everything is ready."

Sasuke nodded, and then looked over the group.

"Which one is Uzamaki Naruto?"

Bracing himself, he stepped forward and half-bowed to him.

"I am, Sasuke-sama." He murmured before straightening.

"Come with me."

Naruto followed at a respectable and polite distance as Sasuke strode over to the horse van.

The ramp was fully lowered now, and the lights along the sides had been turned on. A loud bang sounded from within, making him jump, but Sasuke didn't seem bothered by this as he turned to Naruto.

"I want you to get my horse out." He ordered, his cold, ice-like eyes sliding over him in assessment, much like Itachi's had earlier.

His companions were watching silently, seeming a little disdainful. He swallowed and raised his chin slightly, determined not to let them intimidate him.

"Of course, Sasuke-sama." He responded in a quiet and hopefully respectful voice. Walking up the shadowed ramp was a little unnerving, as he was not sure what to expect, but he continued on none the less, knowing that Sasuke was still watching him.

Another bang sounded loudly in front of him, followed by an impatient snort. Before him stood a giant of a horse, obviously dark coloured, because it was extremely difficult to make out it's form in the dim lighting.

This was, presumably, Sasuke's horse. It looked at him with a sharp eye before kicking again and neighing piercingly.

"Hey there, boy. Easy now." Naruto said soothing and quiet as he approached.

He carefully undid the barrier separating him from the horse (carefully because the horse was obviously high strung and therefore unpredictable) and swung it away before attempting to untie the lead rope. A quick, spiteful nip was aimed at his arm, but he was too quick for the horse. He pushed the huge head away before tugging the rope free and turning the horse towards the ramp. For a moment, the beast refused to move, before he minced forward with small steps; obviously the horse hated horse trailers.

But Naruto was patient, knowing that if he forced him forward, it would only enrage the horse and make him bolt down the ramp.

Once at the top of the ramp, the horse lowered it's head slightly before taking an experimental step onto it, then dancing sideways down the ground. His head was thrown up as he tested the air and the new scents. Naruto stood quietly beside him, unsure what to do next. The horse tossed its head and squealed impatiently.

Sasuke shouldered him out of the way. "I've seen enough." He said brusquely.

Naruto, fearing he had done something wrong, followed Sasuke, feeling slightly dejected as Sasuke led the horse towards the barn.

The others were at the van now, and were beginning to unload the other two horses and their accompanying equipment. As he passed them, Genma squeezed his shoulder in comfort.

He could hear the horse stirring up the other horses as he was led to his new stall. Naruto arrived as Sasuke was taking off the halter. After closing the stall door behind him, he tossed the leather halter to Naruto.

"Give him half a biscuit of hay, and make sure his waters clean. I want him fed and saddled by seven tomorrow morning.

"Yes, Sasuke-sama."

Sasuke gave him another once over before walking off without a backwards glance. Naruto swallowed the lump on his throat and massaged his painfully tight stomach muscles gingerly. Sometimes he got so nervous his stomach muscles began to cramp painfully.

He took a deep breath and looked over the magnificent horse in the stall.

It was a dark, dark brown. So dark he looked black, and only his points (knees, muzzle, and around the hindquarters) were a slightly lighter shade, betraying his true colour. The coat was glossy, and fine haired. Naruto betted that it would be softer than the finest silk. The broad, yet beautiful face was something to look at, with finely shaped ears and a long, elegant forelock. His mane and tail flowed like water as he moved around his stall investigating. He had intelligent, alert eyes, which held a sly mischievous humour.

Naruto was in awe of the huge horse. He was restless, always moving, always curious. Naruto didn't even reach the horses withers ( top point of the shoulders) He could easily be seventeen hands high. Naruto was a mere ant compared to this beast.

The gelding was wearing a dark blue cotton stable rug and he was standing knee deep in sawdust, so he was comfortable and warm. Naruto checked to confirm that the water was clean, and then fetched a half biscuit of hay to put in his hay net. The horse pulled impatiently at it, tugging a mouthful free and munching it as he studied his new environment. He looked comfortable enough so feeling, slightly less sick now, he headed back out towards the courtyard once more.

* * *

And yes, horses can squeal, for those of you who were wondering. 

Just a few explanations;

1).For horses, hay comes in bales, which can be easily separated into sections called biscuits.

2).Height for horses is measured in units called 'hands'. There are four inches or 1/3 of a ft. to a hand. Not many horses reach this height- more common in warm-blood horses and draft horses. Note: Warm-blooded does not refer to their actual blood, but is a category of horses- usually based on breeding and temperament. Sasuke's horse is a purebred thoroughbred, which is considered to be a hot-blooded horse- because of their fiery temperaments and their speed.

Sorry for the late updates everyone! There are no excuses! I still love you all! HUGS

And thanks to all those who reviewed the last chapter! I'll try to reply to them all this time around!

Hopefully you all enjoyed it- the long anticipated arrival of Sasuke! Did you like it? Let me know!

Thanks for reading!

Ja Ne!


	6. A Disaster in the Making

**Disclaimer: **None of this belongs to me! Feel sorry for me, damn it! Btw, the song lyrics in the last chapter were from the song "leave" by Matchbox 20. Lyrics in this chapter are "Bed of Lies" also by Matchbox 20

**Warnings: **Shounen ai yumminess, angst- the usual. And some possible swearing.. I can't remember, I wrote this awhile ago. oh, and some spelling mistakes. I'm the only one who edits these, and i must confees, my editing skills aren't that great (as you can probably tell for yourself!)

To make up for the shortness of the last chapter- this one will be a lot longer. Enjoy! ;)

* * *

Part Six- _Disaster in the Making_

_No I would not sleep in this bed of lies_

_So toss me out and turn in_

_And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes_

_I'm marking it down to learning _

_I am_

He lay in bed feeling awful; it was four thirty in the morning and he couldn't sleep properly. Ever since he'd gone to bed, he'd dozed fitfully, switching between bouts of painful awareness and exhausting dozing which only made him feel his exhaustion more keenly.

After Sasuke had left him alone in the stable, he'd returned to the brightly lit yard. Shikamaru had led Yamamaka Ino's grey mare out and was walking her around the yard to loosen her stiff muscles up. She was a pretty thing, with large dark eyes, a small muzzle arched neck and an elegant tail which was carried high- a classic, pure bred Arabian. Her coat was a pure white, and her mane and tail were long and flowing. She stood smaller than the two geldings and was more fine boned and petite.

Hyuuga Neji's horse was a bay- larger than the mare but taller than Sasuke's horse (which wasn't surprising, considering how large he was).

They were the most beautiful horses that Naruto had ever seen, and anyone could see that they were of the finest breeding. Undoubtedly, they were very, very expensive

So Naruto had helped to unload all the equipment that had accompanied the horses (all of it spotlessly clean and well cared for) before he had slipped away unnoticed to his room. All the while, his stomach cramps had worsened until in little less than an hour later, he was vomiting up his dinner in the toilet. He was sure that the others in the rooms closest to him could hear him, but he couldn't work up the energy to be embarrassed. Instead, he had flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out before staggering off to his room , shedding his clothes and falling into his bed.

But sleep had not come to him, and it was now 4:30 in the morning.

Naruto rolled onto his side and stared out the window at the lightening sky.

He could still see Sasuke's distasteful gaze as he looked at him, and he shivered unconsciously, pulling his blankets tighter around himself, as if trying to block out the memory.

'_No one can make you feel small unless you let them…'_

Naruto couldn't bring himself to change how things were. God knew that he deserved to be looked down upon.

If he ever forgot what had happened, that little voice in his mind whispered to him, reminding him and making him feel ashamed because he had forgotten.

For once, he let the memories come creeping back…

* * *

"_Naruto? Naruto where are you?" A deep voice called as heave footsteps echoed in the quiet barn._

_A giggle erupted from behind the feed bins and Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth as he tried to stifle his laughter._

"_I wonder now. Where could that little tyke be?" The long legged man stopped, with one hand on his hip and a long slender finger tapping his chin as he looked around. Warm mirth was radiating from crystalline blue eyes._

"_I'm here, daddy!" Naruto cried, launching himself at his father and latching onto his legs._

_Arashi laughed and picked him up._

"_What are you doing here, demon-child?" _

_Naruto pouted. "I'm bored, daddy. Play with me?"_

_Arashi laughed at the hopeful tone. "I thought nana was looking after you?"_

"_She fell asleep again." Naruto told him, pouting once more. "That baa-chan in no fun, dad. I want to play with you!"_

"_I have to work, Naru-chan" Arashi smiled at his son as Naruto swung off his neck. "I'll tell you what. How about I show you something special before I take you back to Nana?"_

"_But dad…"_

"_I promise to play with you before dinner if you promise not to run off again. How's that?"_

_Naruto beamed. "Okay! What're you going to show me? What is it?"_

_Arashi laughed at his enthusiasm. "You'll just have to wait, won't you?"_

"_Show me now, show me now! Puhleeaasse?" Naruto begged._

"_Okay, okay. Come on. I'm not going to carry you."_

_Naruto slide out of his fathers arms and skipped to the door. "C'mon dad!"_

"_I'll race you."_

"_Where to?" He asked as Arashi joined him at the door._

"_To the end of this aisle. Ready…steady…" Arashi started, before taking off running._

"_Hey! You cheated!" Naruto yelled, pelting after him as fast as his little legs could carry him._

_His father stopped at the last stall in the aisle, them held his finger to his lips. Naruto slowed to a walk and tiptoed closer. Arashi lifted Naruto up so he could see over the edge of the stall._

_Inside, a black mare was eating from her feed bucket quietly. A new born foal was sniffing around the stall at her side. It was fuzzy and dark brown, with long spindly legs way out of proportion to its tiny body and bushy tail._

"_Ohhhh…" Naruto's eyes were huge as he stared at the tiny creature._

"_He was only born last night." Arashi told him in hushed tones. "He's only a baby."_

"_Can I touch him?" Naruto asked in awe._

"_I think so. Be very gentle with him though, okay?"_

_Naruto nodded as Arashi set him down and opened the stall door. Naruto stepped in with his father right behind him._

_The young foal curiously came closer. Naruto held out a hand to it, and it sniffed him, it's tiny nostrils flaring. Suddenly, it nudged his fingers roughly, and Naruto jumped back in surprise before laughing._

_The foal came close enough to touch and Naruto buried his fingers in its warm, soft coat…_

_

* * *

_

Naruto blinked back the tears in his eyes as he clutched at his aching chest. His memories of his father and his childhood were still so vivid in his mind. He'd only been seven when he'd seen that foal- it was the first he'd ever seen and he remembered his father staying up the previous night to supervise the birth.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks and sat up. Remembering only made things harder for him.

His fault…it was all his fault.

There was blood on his hands and it wasn't just his own.

By 5:40 he had given up on lying in bed waiting for sleep, so he had gotten up and dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and old dark blur cargo pants.

As he pulled on his boots, he glanced into the mirror. His face was uncommonly pale, his eyes dull and tired and outlined in dark circles. A loud growl from his stomach reminded him that he had thrown up last night's meal and he groaned. How much worse could things get?

Outside his window, a heavy fog hung over the fields. The weather was getting colder and no doubt the rains would begin any day now. He closed his door behind him and headed noiselessly to the lounge room. All the bedrooms were connected to the lounge by small corridors. Large comfortable couches and beanbags all faced towards the Tv. Off to one side was a pool table and a cabinet where board games, a play station, spare blankets and pillow cases were stored. On top of this was a large stereo system and dozens of cd's scattered around it. The opposite side of the room was a small kitchenette with a fridge, a microwave, a stove top and a kitchen table.

They usually had lunch and breakfast here and dinner up at the house.

The place was never tidy, but that only seemed to add to the warm and safe atmosphere. Genma's magazines were always everywhere, and the girls had makeup and books kicked under chairs or cushions. Dirty plates and coffee cups were strewn here and there, waiting for someone to collect them up. A calendar was pinned up on one wall with events scrawled messily in various boxes. Next to it was a message board, with reminders and lists of things to be done written on it. Raidou and Kiba had written a series of rude insults to each other down one side (if it wasn't them, it was usually someone else).

As untidy as the place was, someone always made sure that the place was cleaned regularly. It still wasn't light outside, so Naruto opted to take his turn to tidy up.

He began to collect the dirty crockery and take it to the sink. As he washed and dried, he thought about what he needed to do. Because everyone was still asleep he had closed the doors which separated the lounge from the bedrooms, so as not to wake them.

It was funny how they spent most of their time together and yet they still liked each other and got along really well. Too often than not, you heard of how friends began living together and months later they were mortal enemies.

They had been living together for years now, and nothing of the sort had happened. This was probably helped by the fact that Kakashi had laid down some ground rules which they all agreed to and followed. Naruto was extremely grateful for these particular rules. No one was allowed in another person's room unless they were invited or if there was an emergency. Privacy and personal space was very important if people were to live together peacefully, Kakashi had told them.

If fights broke out, then each party (or parties if that was the case) were sent to different areas to have a 'cooling off' period. Later, they would talk things out calmly, with a neutral party to mediate (usually Kakashi or Genma, seeing as they were the most even tempered of the group). Shopping was also rotated around, as were the cleaning chores. Noise levels were to be kept to a minimum when people were asleep.

They didn't have many rules, but the ones they did have were important.

Naruto packed away all the things he had washed before wiping down the bench counters and washing the sink. After that, he collected his housemate's belongings and sorted them into piles before putting them quietly to one side of their doors. He straightened the furniture and wiped down the coffee table (which was sticky with some unrecognisable substance). He couldn't vacuums the floor, because it was too noisy, but he knew someone else would later.

Having tidied the place satisfactorily, he slipped out into the cold and headed for the stables.

It was only 6:15, and it wasn't his turn to feed today (he would have been quite happy to do so regardless, but the others would get mad at him) so he had some time to kill before he needed to start work. He'd need to groom Sasuke's horse and have him saddled soon. It bothered him that he didn't know the horses name yet, but hopefully he would find out today.

Naruto made a point to know each horse and its habits personally; it made things easier when you were working with them. He loved all the horses but he had fallen in love with Annie. The colt was a delight to spend time with – he seemed to genuinely like people, and he loved getting attention. He seemed to really like Naruto now, and this filled him with warm fuzzy feelings.

Naruto approached his stall, deliberately making noise so the colt wouldn't get startled by his sudden appearance.

Annie was lying down in the fresh sawdust, his legs tucked neatly around himself. Naruto smiled at the sweetness of the scene, and he slipped into the stall.

Seating himself by the colt, he rubbed the warm silky neck. Annie snuffled at his leg sleepily and made no move to get up. It spoke of the levels of trust that existed between them; the fact that he was completely relaxed while Naruto was around him told Naruto that all his work had been worthwhile. As he scratched and rubbed Annie's face, he allowed himself to think.

_That _day was coming up again this week and he dreaded it. The one day he allowed himself to mourn for his father was the worst of the year. Iruka knew everything about Naruto. His never-ending kindness and warmth had made Naruto break down within months of his arrival and confess everything. Kakashi, too, knew a little about what his life, although Naruto hadn't told him any specific details. He was sure that Iruka had said nothing to him, for he had promised not to. Iruka and Kakshi were close, and Naruto had his suspicions that they were closer than friends, but he wasn't one to pry into other's business, so he let it be.

No doubt one of them would bring that topic up again within the next few days. One of them made it a point to take him to his parent's graves every year. They had done so for the last four years, and he appreciated their efforts and their concern. He just hated the moment they asked him quietly, the moment that he had to be reminded.

Annie snorted, startling him, and he chuckled slightly.

"You should be grateful that you're not human, Annie." He murmured. "At least you don't have to worry as I do. You're the lucky one."

He felt ashamed of what had happened the other day with Itachi; he was still burning with humiliation. Worse yet, Genma had seen how much it had affected him. And he'd seen how weak he was. Naruto didn't think he could look Genma in the eye again. He knew Genma was disgusted at his weakness. Surely his friends had all experienced some sort of tragedy and pain in their lives, and here he was, letting it affect him so. His own worst enemy was himself, and he was fighting a losing battle against the very demons he had created in his mind.

Naruto knew that he had to find some way to pick himself up again, but he had no clue where to start. It was pathetic, and he was ashamed. Ashamed to face the world, ashamed to face his friends and ashamed to face himself..

He sighed, and Annie rubbed his head against his arm, as if to reassure him.

"You're right. I need to stop thinking."

Reluctantly, he stood up and left the warmth of Annie and his stall, listening as the colt heaved himself to his feet as he left.

Outside Sasuke's stable, he found all the gear he would need to start set out already for him. The geldings bridle and saddle were black leather, and of the finest quality (like everything else). On the grooming kit box was a metal plate with a name inscribed on it.

'Taira'

So that was his name…

Naruto picked up the halter and opened the door. Taira loomed over him, sniffing him curiously before letting out a piercing whinny.

Naruto winced and then reached up to get the halter on. After Naruto tied him up, Taira began to shift restlessly, and would hardly stand still; he had a difficult time getting his stable rug off, but eventually, he managed to undo the fastenings and slip it off his back.

As he began to groom him, all the while murmuring softly, Taira continued to test him. He tried to bite him (all attempts failed), he refused to stand in one spot while he brushed his dark coat, and he only lifted his hooves grudgingly to be picked out after several moments. Naruto patiently put up with this behaviour, because he knew that if he let him win, then Taira would always behave in such a manner. So he kept giving the necessary signals until Taira eventually complied.

Once he was clean and ready, he began to saddle the horse. By now, Taira had forgotten about testing him, because the other horses were getting restless for their morning feed. Naruto could hear the others beginning to emerge and start their work, so he hurried to finish Taira.

He had no problem with the saddle, and after a brief fight with the bridle, he managed to slip the bit into his mouth and fasten the straps.

After checking that the chest plate and the saddle were siting securely, he led the gelding out of his stall towards the courtyard. Taira strained forward wanting to get moving, but Naruto dug his elbow backwards into his neck and slowed him down.

"Ease up, boy." He muttered.

They only had to wait for a few minutes.

While they did, Taira sidestepped and tossed his head impatiently as he looked around, his eyes bright with enthusiasm and energy. Naruto could tell that he'd be a handful to ride, and that only an experienced rider should ride him.

Taira still as he focused on something behind Naruto. He turned and saw that Sasuke was approaching.

Naruto's heart was pounding painful and his breath was coming short as he was stunned yet again by the mere sight of Sasuke.

Today he looked particularly…sophisticated in black riding pants, black knee high riding boots and a black and grey knitted jumper. His black hair was tied back in a short pony tail, but his bangs had escaped and framed his face. Naruto distractedly wondered what his hair would look like loose, and what it would be like to touch.

Sasuke wore the same leather gloves he had worn last night.

He found that he couldn't say anything as Sasuke joined him. Without a word, Sasuke checked the girth and all the buckles. And Naruto wordlessly held Taira's head as Sasuke swung himself up and settled in the saddle.

F or a moment, their gazes met, and held. Naruto found he couldn't look away. Those eyes which he had thought were a bottomless black were actually a dark, steely grey. Like storm clouds…

Sasuke's eyes were different from last night. Still cold but there was a hint of something lurking behind the chill in his eyes. Naruto couldn't put a name to it, but seeing whatever it was there had surprised him, and he quickly retreated back a few steps, tearing his gaze away and bowing his head.

The next thing he heard were Taira's hooves on the pavers as Sasuke rode away.

Naruto waited until they disappeared out of sight down the road before he allowed the tension to drain from his body.

With his first job of the day completed, he slowly moved off to complete the second as he tried to ignore the thrill of fire that was burning through his veins.

Midday came and went and there was no sign of Sasuke returning. Naruto had cleaned Taira's stall thoroughly as well as four others. He'd given five others a good grooming and had helped saddle three others.

During all of this, he had discreetly avoided any contact whatsoever with Genma. When he had glimpsed the man, he had caught the confused and worried looks before he'd left as quietly as he could.

It wasn't that he didn't like him any more. Naruto was ashamed and afraid of what Genma thought of him.

After lunch, he was just deciding if he had enough time to fit in Annie's workout before Sasuke came back, when Kakashi found him.

"Naruto. Any sign of Sasuke?"

He shook his head silently in reply.

"You may as well start working Annie then. If he has a problem with that he can come and tell me so."

"Okay."

"I don't know what happened with Itachi yesterday, but if that's what's been bothering you then you need to let it go. Itachi can be a tricky bastard, but don't let him scare you. He'll only use it to his advantage. The same goes for Sasuke."

Naruto hated the way that Kakashi could see right through him like that. It made him feel very vulnerable, and he hated feeling like that. He had avoided that sharp gaze while this was being said, but then he looked at him and managed to smile.

"I'll try Kakashi-san."

"Good enough." Kakashi paused and seemed slightly reluctant to continue. "There's another thing I wish to talk to you about."

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut.

_Oh God…not now…_

"You know what I'm going to ask, I think."

He nodded and hid his trembling hands. He didn't need to be reminded of this now. Not now of all times. If only he could put it off…

As soon as he thought that, he hated himself. How could he think such selfish thoughts? He wouldn't be in such a position now if he wasn't so stupid.

It was all his fault...

* * *

"_Daddy?" Naruto asked timidly as his father tucked him into bed for the night._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Where's mommy?"_

_Arashi sat back to look at his son and Naruto wondered if he'd said anything wrong._

"_Why d'you ask, Naru-chan?"_

_Naruto looked down to trace the pattern on his comforter. "Cause today at school Mamoru was telling me about his mommy and the cookies she made for his birthday. And I started wondering why I don't have a mommy too."_

_Naruto looked up into his fathers sad blue eyes. "Did I say something wrong, Daddy?" he asked in a small voice._

"_No. Of course not." Arashi considered him for a long moment, before moving a little closer._

"_Your mommy's in heaven, Naru-chan."_

"_Where's heaven?" Naruto asked blankly._

"_Heaven is a place we go after we finish what we need to do in this world. After we die." Arashi explained gently._

_Naruto looked at his father with widened, confused eyes._

"_So mommy died?"_

"_Yes. She died after you were born."_

"_Because of me?" he asked worriedly._

"_No, no. She was sick for a long time before you came along Naruto."_

"_When can I see her?"_

"_One day, Naruto. One day you will."_

_And Naruto had cried after that. Because he knew, by looking into his father's face, that it would be a long time before he got to see her. He cried because he wanted to know a mother's love, and because he never would._

_He remembered his father's strong arms pulling him close to hold him as he cried. Arashi's quiet voice talked to him and told him that it was okay and Naruto believed him. What he remembered the most though, was his father's silent tears as he soothed him to sleep…_

_

* * *

_

Naruto wasn't sure if he still believed in heaven, or even god. After all, his father had been taken away from him when he had needed him the most. All because of one stupid accident, one mistake on his behalf. What god made something terrible like that happen to innocent people?

"Iruka and I and going into town tomorrow." Kakashi said quietly, making Naruto jump. He'd forgotten he was there.

"Do you want to come with us? I know it's not the exact day, but I don't think we'll be able to make it later."

"If it's okay with Sasuke, then I will," he replied thickly.

"If what's okay with me?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Naruto jumped and whirled around, his eyes wide when he saw Sasuke standing there with Taira's reins in one hand and his leather gloves in the other.

Kakashi regarded him with bored looking eyes, while Naruto stood awkwardly beside him.

"Naruto needs to…" Kakashi began

"Whatever he needs, he can ask for himself." Sasuke interrupted him, his dark eyes staring straight at Naruto.

He swallowed, nervous.

_Don't let him scare you…don't let him scare you…_

'_What would your father say if he saw you like this?' _A different voice now and one which made him stiffen when he remembered it.

Feeling a rare surge of courage, he straightened and looked Sasuke in the eyes.

"I …would to take a half day off tomorrow." He said, relieved that his voice didn't quaver and show his nerves.

"What for?" Sasuke asked, that cool calculating look in his eyes as he studied him.

Naruto took another deep breath and braced himself for the inevitable pain which would accompany his next words.

"I wish to visit my parent's graves."

Sasuke's eyes widened minutely, but he showed no other signs of his surprise. Taira lowered his head to scratch his foreleg, and Sasuke tucked his gloves into a pocket, looking slightly thoughtful as he did.

"I want Taira lunged tomorrow morning." Sasuke said slowly, and Naruto's heart sank. "But if you have him saddled and lunged early tomorrow morning, I will give you four hours in the afternoon."

Four hours…still, it was better than he had expected, and it was more than enough time. Sasuke's eyes showed no compassions, nor any kindness, but that didn't matter so much to him at the moment. Now that he had gotten that over with, he felt a little more confident than before.

"Same time tomorrow. Understood?"

"Of course Sasuke-sama."

Sasuke addressed Kakashi. "My friends will also be riding with me tomorrow."

"I'll make sure their horses are ready in time."

Sasuke gave a curt nod before giving Taira's reins to Naruto and walking away.

Kakashi looked at him and smiled warmly. "Well done."

* * *

Phew! I hope that satisfied those of you who requested longer chapters! A few notes before I continue… 

Taira- is a Japanese name, but I can't quite remember what it means. If anyone really wants to know, leave a note and I'll get back to you!

When Arashi calls Naruto "demon-child" in the first flash back, it has no relation whatsoever to the kyuubi. I only used it because a family friend of ours used to call me and my brothers the "demon children" or if one of us was alone "demon child" and I think it's cute. So…sorry for any confusion!

Naruto is about seven in those flashbacks. However, his dad doesn't die for a few years yet…and I'll explain all that later!

When I mentioned Taira's 'chest plate', it wasn't one of those medieval things of metal which cover their chest. These days, a 'chest plate' is a piece of equipment attached to a horses girth which runs between their front legs and then divides near the base of the neck and lies over the shoulders, attaching to the sides of the saddle. It's intended to stop the saddle from slipping back whilst they're being ridden. If that confused you, or if you want to know more, let me know and I'll try to come up with a better description!

Sigh Must be hard explaining death to a child, ne?

Anyways, hope you all enjoyed. It wasn't too corny was it? Too boring? Let me know!

Thanks again for all you reviews (16! I've never had that many for one chapter!) ME LOVES MY REVIEWERS! _HUGS TO YOU ALL_

Give me some more love peoples!

Ja Ne!


	7. Damaged

**Disclaimer: **_Neither the concept nor the characters of Naruto belong to me. The song for this chapter is "When the heart ache ends" by Rob Thomas_

**Warnings: **_Shounen Ai, angst, and a re-written chapter. Might cause spasms or blindness…well, don't say I didn't warn you!_

_Any paragraphs in italics (like this) is a flash back. _

_

* * *

_

Part Seven: _Damaged_

_And I move in all directions_

_To the corners and the outskirts_

_While the lovers and the lonely_

_Start to whisper all about me_

_And if I stand here silent,_

_I almost start to feel you fading in_

_Telling me to hold on_

'_Cause it's gonna be all right_

The next morning, Naruto saddled Taira with a sick, heavy feeling residing in his stomach. It was as if he'd been partially paralysed, his movements were sluggish and he somehow felt as if he were numb.

Taira seemed to have picked on his bad mood; the large horse was restless, and he continually nudged Naruto's shoulder roughly. As Naruto lead him out towards the arena, Shikamaru and Genma were starting to groom the Hyuuga and the Yamanaka horses. A sudden movement on Genma's behalf caused Taira to shy violently to the right, throwing his head up and rearing, attempting to pull away from Naruto and bolt.

In the end, Kakashi had to come and help Naruto subdue to powerful horse, and together, they led a jogging and sweating horse into one of the indoor arenas. Kakashi had made no comment, seeming to know that he didn't nee contrived words of reassurance or comfort. What he needed was to be left alone to his thoughts, so no one could see just how badly he was hurting.

Eventually, Taira settled down again, and Naruto started to lunge him, getting him to trot in a 25 metre circle around him, keeping the long lunge line gripped tightly in his hand in case he decided to act up again. He used the lunging whip (1) sparingly, because with such a highly temperamental horse, a whip only served to stir him up unnecessarily.

After working him in both directions for a good half an hour, a lot of Taira's restless energy had been eased, so Naruto let him slow down and then stop of his own accord before walking over to him, gathering the rope in carefully.

Naruto unclipped the lunging rein and unhooked the reins from around his neck, taking a moment to rub Taira's warm face, running his hands down the smooth cheeks, and stroking the delicate nostrils gently.

"You feel it too, don't you? Today's going to be a bad day for both of us, I think," he whispered, watching as dark ears flicked towards him.

Sighing, he tightened the girth and checked over the tack one last time, making sure everything was fitting right, and that all the straps were tucked into their keepers.

"Just behave yourself, would you? The last thing I need is to get into trouble with Sasuke today."

"Naruto?" Kakashi called form the stable yard. "You done in there?"

"Yeah. I'm coming."

Leading Taira into the yard, he saw Shikamaru and Genma standing with their charges. Kakashi was talking to Genma quietly, saying something he couldn't hear, so Naruto joined Shikamaru to wait.

"Hey." Shikamaru greeted him before yawning. "It's too early."

He smiled at his lazy friend, glad to have the chance to talk with him for awhile and ignore the heavy weight haunting him

"How're things?" he asked.

"Not bad." He shrugged. "This mare's a finicky creature though. Just like her owner."

Naruto reached out and stroked the palomino's pale neck.

"Yamanaka-san? What's wrong with her?"

"What isn't wrong with her? She's bossy and loud mouthed and a perfectionist to boot." Shikamaru scowled. "Troublesome is what she is."

Naruto poked him with a grin. "Poor shika. They go together well don't they? The horse and Yamanaka-san, I mean."

"Ya, I suppose they do. And they know it too. Just like the Uchiha and that monster." Shikamaru indicated Taira, who was standing behind him and fidgeting restlessly. Naruto glanced and him and rubbed his ears, amused at the way the horse leaned into his touch.

"He's not a monster. He's quiet beautiful." He replied, absentmindedly.

"Who? The horse or the Uchiha?" Shikamaru asked, with a probing looking.

Naruto flushed hotly, and avoided his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't mean it like that."

"Of course you didn't. I've told you, you're easier for me to read than a book."

Naruto found he couldn't come up with a suitable reply, both from embarrassment and because he couldn't find a way to deny it and make it believable.

"A word of caution though," Shikamaru's voice had dropped now, and was uncommonly serious. Naruto looked up in surprise and apprehension, wondering what was coming next.

"Keep whatever those feelings are to yourself if you can. I think Sakura has developed an….obsession with him. And it'll only make things difficult for you if she sees you as competition."

For a moment Naruto was speechless with shock, but he managed to shake himself back to reality.

"I'll keep it in min," he told him, his voice sounding subdued even to his own ears.

"Good. I won't mention it to anyone."

Shikamaru decided to leave it at that and began to scrutinize the post dawn sky with lazy interest.

"Looks like rain today," he commented offhandedly after a few moments of silence.

"It does," Naruto agreed quietly.

After that, conversation between them was non-existent. Naruto focused his attention on running his fingers through Taira's silky mane, determinedly avoiding looking at his three companions.

He didn't have a crush on Sasuke, did he? It was true that whenever he was around Sasuke, he felt uncommonly flushed and hot, and there was no denying Sasuke's beauty. Sometimes he was so beautiful that Naruto fairly ached at the sight of him.

He was definitely different from anyone else he'd met.

Sasuke wore a mask, like most of his family did (not that he had met any of his relatives), but something was nagging at Naruto, telling him that there was more to Sasuke than he let on. Something about him had captured Naruto for sure, but did that mean he had a crush? Was it infatuation or just lust?

Naruto didn't know if he was gay, or if he was straight. To be honest, he hadn't put a lot of thought into the matter. In fact, he _knew _that he could never be with anyone who he didn't love and trust. Maybe it was just his insecurities speaking, but he had always known that if he didn't love a person, and if that person didn't return his love, then he could never give himself, physically, mentally or emotionally whether they are male or female. Maybe he was bi. The concept didn't really bother him at all, neither did the thought of being gay, but the point was, he could never imagine a person like Sasuke loving a person like him. He imagine Sasuke with someone glamorous, like Yamanaka Ino.

But the idea of Sakura having a crush on Sasuke too was troubling. Would she really see him as a rival, or would she not mind? As much as it pained him to admit it, he wasn't sure how she would react. She was a dear friend to him, and the last thing he wanted was for her to hate him over something like this.

There were so many questions with no answers whirling around in his head that he was beginning to give himself a headache. It was the last thing he needed today; something else to weigh on his mind.

He rested his head against Taira's warm neck, wishing he could go for a ride or something, so he wouldn't have to think about it at all.

"Hey." Naruto looked up at Genma, who had the Hyuuga's bay closer. The man actually looked uncertain (Naruto had only ever seen him cheerful and confident, teasing and good natured.) and it startled him slightly to see him so unsure.

"Can we talk later? I think there are some things we need to sort out."

Biting his lip, Naruto nodded, knowing what it would be about. Still ashamed about the way he had treated Genma over the last few days, he desperately wanted to patch things up with him. He was glad that Genma had been the first to approach, for he wouldn't have had the courage to.

"Okay. Maybe tonight?" he suggested, nervously.

"Thanks. I appreciate it Naruto."

"Heads up guys. They're on their way." Kakashi informed them in his lazy drawl, his hands in his pockets.

Sure enough, the trio were on their way towards them. Naruto fixed his gaze firmly on the ground, toying with the reins in his hands.

"How was he when you lunged him this morning?" Sasuke's deep voice asked a few minutes later. That voice seemed to reverberate all around him, ringing in the very depths of his body and Naruto was reminded unpleasantly of Shikamaru's words before.

"I…he was a little restless, but he's settled down now." Naruto told him, forcing himself to breathe properly. At least his stuttering had lessened around him now. It had been extremely embarrassing and must have annoyed Sasuke to no end.

Sasuke nodded as he took the reins, pulling them over Taira's head before putting his left foot in the left stirrup and mounting smoothly.

Naruto had to try hard to not look at him for too long. As usual, he wore the black knee high riding boots, and this time navy riding pants and a black pull over, with a zipped, rib knit collar and red stripes on the cuffs. It was close fitting and extremely….well, it made him look hot, and Naruto fought hard against the inevitable blush that was threatening. The black hair was held back in its usual pony tail, and once more, he found himself wanting to see what it look like when it was freed from its constraints.

In comparison to Sasuke's sleek style and expensive clothes, Naruto felt extremely ordinary and scruffy. Today he'd just thrown on baggy old dark grey jeans and a blue and purple long sleeved shirt (also old and slightly faded.) In addition, he was wearing his usual sturdy brown work boots. Self conscious, he tugged at one of his sleeves and shifted his weight around, feeling out of place and uncomfortable.

"We'll be using indoor arena one." Sasuke told Kakashi as the other two followed his example and mounted their excited horses.

"I'll make sure no one uses it." Kakashi said with a nod.

"Good" Sasuke replied, before he looked down at Naruto and met his eyes. "You are free to go. Four hours, remember."

"Thank you," he managed.

They all stood and watched for a minute as the three rode off towards the designated arena talking quietly. Or rather, Ino talked and Neji and Sasuke listened in silence.

"Don't you two have something to do?" Kakashi asked, turning to Shikamaru and Genma.

"When don't we?" Shikamaru grumbled as he slunk off towards the storage shed.

"You going into town now?" Genma asked Kakashi.

"Ya. Anything you want?"

"Get some good coffee this time. Not that crap you bought last time."

"Iruka buys the groceries. I buy horse feed….But I'll tell him anyway."

"Good. The shopping list is…"

"Iruka already has it."

Genma grinned devilishly at him. "Now, behave yourself, you hear? I want you home before curfew and no later. No funny business now…" he droned, imitating a nagging mother.

Kakashi threw a half hearted punch at his arm, which Genma avoided easily as he laughed.

"Get going, before I find some more work for you to do."

Still laughing, Genma sauntered off.

The peculiar exchange was not lost on Naruto, but he decided not to comment on it as Kakashi looked at him, all traces of humour gone, being replaced by understanding and an odd gentleness which was rarely seen in the pale man.

"You ready to go?"

Naruto smiled half heartedly at him. "Yeah. I think so."

"I'll go get the truck. Grab a jacket and we'll get going."

Naruto shut the door of the Ute and pulled his leather jacket tighter around himself. Iruka leaned an arm on the open window and looked out at him.

"You'll be okay here alone for awhile? We shouldn't be too long…"

There was no mistaking the concern Iruka was feeling, and Naruto smiled at him with genuine warmth. They didn't agree on a lot of things, but he knew that Iruka loved him as if he was his own child, and Naruto hated making him worry.

"I'll be fine. I'll see you later."

Iruka nodded and Kakashi pulled away from the curb. He stood there and watched the white ute disappear down the road for a minute before turning to face the black wrought iron gates of the grave yard.

There was always an old woman who sold flowers just outside the gates, and Naruto walked over to her.

"The usual?" the wizened old woman asked with a smile.

"Yeah. Thanks obaa-san."

She handed him a dozen white lilies and he gave her the money, before heading up the long, winding gravel drive way. It was a nice grave yard, if there ever was such a thing. The lawns and roads were well tended, and there were big leafy oak trees growing here and there.

In a far, peaceful corner of the large grounds, near one of these trees, his parents were buried.

For awhile he just stood and stared down at the gravestones, no thinking of anything in particular.

Both plaques were attached to smooth blocks of dark grey marble, and they were identical in every way, except for the inscriptions. He liked the fact that they had been buried side by side. It seemed right somehow. At least now they were together, after twelve long years of separation.

He didn't bother to read the inscriptions engraved on the metal- he knew what they said off by heart any way.

When he looked upon his mother's grave, he felt that familiar twinge of unfairness. A mother he had never known, and who he had often desperately wanted to. His father had often told him stories of what she had been like, and the things they had done together. And even though his father had never really said much about it, he knew that he had loved his mother with all of his heart. He'd felt it, and he knew that his father had loved him just as much.

Eventually, he knelt down and placed the pure white lilies between their graves, and moved back a little to sit down. For some strange reason, he had always felt closer to them whenever he visited. As if the graves reminded him that they had both been real, and that he wasn't living in some sort of twisted and tormented nightmare.

It was strange. A few years ago, he'd wanted to join them. He'd _tried_ to join them, several times. He still bore the scars, and he always would. And he still wanted to, sometimes. More often now, but he was hoping the phase would pass. He was _praying_ that it would because he wanted to move on with his life, but he couldn't seem to. Naruto knew that the others cared, but if he let them know just how depressed he was at the moment, they'd probably suggest he got treatment for it, like drugs or counselling, and he didn't want to do that.

Naruto grasped his wrist lightly, as he watched dappled sunlight move over the plaques.

"_Dad?" Naruto asked quietly._

_Arashi was kneeling before the gravestone, brushing leaves from its smooth surface._

"_Yeah?"_

_Naruto bit his lip. He was older now, almost twelve, and he knew his mother had died, but he still wanted to know everything about her. Usually, he kept his questions to himself, because whenever she was mentioned, he saw the pain and sadness in his father's eyes. They should always be filled with that laughter, and good humour as they usually were, Naruto thought, so he never asked._

_On this particular day though, he'd never been able to keep his curiosity at bay._

"_What is it Naruto?" Arashi asked gently, standing up now and facing his son._

"_Do you still love mum?"_

"_I do. I've never stopped and I don't think I ever will."_

_Naruto looked down at the grass beneath his feet, biting his lip nervously. He jumped when his father slipped warm fingers beneath his chin and lifted his head._

"_What's bothering you, Naru-chan?" Arashi asked again, using his old nickname that he had long since out grown, but still loved._

"_Do you hate me for killing her?" he blurted before he could stop himself._

_Arashi's eyes widened, and the next thing he knew, he was swept into a crushing hug._

"_You didn't kill her, Naruto. I could never hate you. You're my son and I love you," his father whispered hoarsely. "I've told you before that she was sick for a long time before you were born."_

"_But I might've made her sicker. If I hadn't been born then maybe she would have lived longer."_

"_No! I knew she was going to die before I married her and so did she. But I married her anyway, because I loved her. She wanted you more than anything in this world, and she loved you. And so do I."_

_And Naruto had felt reassured and safe in his father's arms, because he knew that his father had spoken the truth._

Tears were threatening to fall now, and Naruto swiped at his eyes, not wanting to break down at this place.

They'd always been moving, he reflected. They'd lived in many places, but they'd always come back to visit her grave every year without fail.

It was his father who had taught him everything he knew. He'd given Naruto his passionate love of horses and reading, and the outdoors. Everyone who had known him had liked him, for his laughter was infectious, his smile always bright and he was always easy going and friendly.

Naruto had taken that away. His father had died saving his life, and he would never forgive himself; not ever.

"_Now, Naruto. D'you remember when I told you what the most important things were when jumping a horse?" his father asked as they sat on the fence to watch the chestnut mare fly over the jump course in the arena._

"_Yes."_

"_What are they?"_

"_Rhythm and balance." He chirped proudly._

_Arashi chuckled and ruffled his hair. _

"_Good boy. When a horse and rider are balanced and the rhythm they are keeping is even, there isn't much that can go wrong. It's important to use power to clear the jumps, not speed. Are you getting all of this?"_

"_Power not speed," Naruto repeated, his eyes on the chestnut mare._

"_Right. Now, this rider is not softening her hands before the horse takes off. Can you see that?"_

_Naruto nodded, watching as the mare cleared yet another jump and the rider brought her around to face the next._

"_That means the horse can't stretch her head and neck forwards and she's not jumping as cleanly as she should."_

_Arashi waved to the rider, who slowed the mare down before halting._

"_Now wait here while I go and talk to her, okay? No running off. Promise?"_

_Naruto grinned at his father. "I promise."_

_As his father walked away, Naruto thought with pride that his father knew absolutely everything about horses._

Now the tears really did fall. If it hadn't been for his father, he would never have gotten the job at the Uchiha estate, and he would still be stuck in that nightmarish group home. He owed his father everything.

A soft hand fell on his shoulder and he jumped, turning to see Iruka kneeling behind him. Smiling gently, the man wiped away the tears and drew Naruto into a warm embrace.

He buried his face in Iruka's warm shoulder and breathed deeply, fighting back his tears and forcing himself to calm down. Iruka's hand was stroking his hair gently, and Naruto revealed in the sensation of an adult holding him and feeling protected once more.

When he finally felt like he had himself under control again, Naruto drew away reluctantly, and Iruka brushed his bangs of his forehead tenderly.

"Kakashi will give you the rest of today off if you ask him."

He shook his head. "It's okay. I'd rather work."

Iruka studied him silently for a moment. "You can't ignore this forever, Naruto," he said eventually. "Kakashi tells me you're not talking as much as you used to. He says you're not sleeping well either."

"I know, Ruka. I just…I don't think I'm strong enough to at the moment."

"It's been six years. That's a long time to be in mourning, Naruto."

"I know. I just can't. Not right now."

Iruka sighed, before nodding. "Okay. You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Naruto kept busy for the rest of the day, just as he'd said he would. He exercised horses, cleaned out stalls, helped to refill the food bins. He'd helped Raidou mend a broken stable, and Kakashi treat a sick horse.

At five thirty, he joined his friends as they collapsed on the bales of hay in the feed shed.

"Hey, Naruto," Kiba greeted him in his usual boisterous manner, earning a glare from Shikamaru. "Where'd you disappear off to today?"

"I'm sure whatever he was doing it had nothing to do with you Kiba," Tenten told him, sniffing.

"Hey, I'm taking an interest in my friends' life. What's wrong with that?"

"You mean you're prying into other people's business. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it" Sakura put in.

"Maybe you should ask him that before you start defending him," Shikamaru said lazily. The lazy teen was lying on his back with his arms folded behind his head.

They all turned to look at him, and Naruto felt slightly uneasy as all their attention was focused on him.

"I had business to do in town. Nothing important." He told them quickly, hating himself for lying.

He avoided looking at Shikamaru, because it was obvious he knew more than he let on. Shikamaru wasn't called a genius for nothing, and he had definitely noticed Naruto's one yearly disappearances.

"Hey, are you coming tonight?" Sakura asked, smoothly changing the topic.

"Coming where?"

"Didn't we tell you?" she frowned and he shook his head.

"Oh. Well, it's Raidou's birthday tomorrow, so Iruka and the others are throwing a birthday dinner thing for him tonight, and then we're all going into town for drinks. You going to come?"

Naruto was torn. He wanted to, because it was Raidou's birthday, and he was a good friend, but he didn't really feel up to it. If he drank tonight, he'd probably end up drunk and depressed and wake up with a hang over the next day. It probably wasn't the best idea, considering.

"I don't think so this time. I don't really feel up to it."

"But it's Raidou's birthday…"

"I know. I'll talk to him. I really don't think I can."

"Are you not feeling well? Maybe you should…" Tenten began.

"Stop pestering him, you lot," Shikamaru broke in for the second time. "He obviously doesn't want to go, so stop trying to force him to."

Surprised and touched by Shikamaru's uncharacteristic display of protectiveness, Naruto gave him a grateful smile, which was answered by a nod.

There was a moment of strained silence.

"Well, I'm sure he'll understand, Naruto. He won't mind," Tenten told him with a kind smile.

"I hope so."

"Hey, what happened with that Yamanaka chick today, Shika?" Kiba asked suddenly. "I heard her yelling at you earlier."

Naruto noted the sudden scowl that crossed Tenten's face at the mention of Ino's name. He'd watched the growing attraction between Shikamaru and Tenten for months now. Maybe Yamanaka Ino would be the one to finally bring them together a last. Or drive them apart. He hoped it would be the former and not the latter. It would definitely be interesting to see how things turned out.

"Ah. Her mare was acting up today when she rode her, and she thought I had done something to upset her this morning when I saddled her." Shikamaru told them with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"What did she say to you?" Sakura asked, her interest caught.

"Called him all sorts of names and told him he didn't know how to do his job properly," Kiba told them with a grin. "As if she could do half the things we can."

"A bit of a drama queen, isn't she?" Sakura said speculatively.

"Definitely, but a damn hot one," Kiba said, waggling his eyebrows comically.

Sakura hit his arm.

"A real handful," he continued, despite the assault. "But she's worth it I reckon. Bet she's wicked in bed though, eh Shika? Naruto?"

"Probably. Too troublesome for me though," Shika replied.

Naruto decided not to answer, and decided to just listen instead of participate this time.

"She was giving you the eye though for sure. I watched her when your back was turned." Kiba told Shikamaru.

Tenten was looking away now, but her glare had intensified. Naruto surreptitiously kept his eyes on her to watch her reaction. It was funny that someone as smart as Shikamaru had not to notice of the way Tenten acted around him. Oblivious was the word. Or maybe he was just too lazy to do anything about it.

"Maybe she has a thing for guys with earrings," Sakura suggested, flicking one of Shikamaru's little silver earrings and laughing when he swatted at her hand.

"She was giving Genma the eye too this afternoon." Sakura said thoughtfully.

"She's a slut. Anyone can see that." Tenten snapped, finally joining the conversation.

"True. It's hard to see someone like Sasuke-sama hanging out with her." Sakura agreed, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. "But, Sasuke-sama, he's hot!"

Naruto tensed when she said that, but forced himself not to show any outward signs of his distress and pretended not to notice Shikamaru's glance.

"Is he ever!" Tenten sighed dreamily.

She'd obviously changed tactics now, and was trying to make Shikamaru jealous. Shikamaru, however, either pretended not to care or he actually didn't notice what she was trying to do. Knowing him, it could have been either one.

All the subtle games between them made Naruto's head spin. It was all way to complicated for his liking, and he vowed not to involve himself- it would only cause trouble anyhow.

"And Hyuuga-sama as well! That hair!" Tenten continued.

"Nah, I like Sasuke-sama. His eyes are just so intense! Like they're burning!"

Kiba looked sickened and he snorted. "You should hear yourselves. It's quite disgusting, you know."

"Shut up Kiba!" Both girls said in unison.

"Did someone take care of Taira when they finished?" Naruto broke in, hoping to forestall another argument.

Kiba frowned now. "I think Raidou did. But Sasuke came back to the stables about an hour or so ago, and took one of his father's horses out."

"Really? Why?"

"Ever tried to question on of the Uchiha?" Kiba asked blandly, raising an eyebrow. "You'd get more conversation out of a rock."

Naruto shifted uneasily, not sure if it was a good idea to insult one of the Uchiha family.

"He's not come back yet." Shikamaru said as he glared at Kiba.

In the background he could hear Tenten and Sakura still swooning over Sasuke and Neji.

"Oh," he frowned. "Well, I'd better go and talk to Raidou. I'll talk to you later."

Naruto quickly left the group and went in search of Raidou. If luck was on his side, he'd get a little privacy tonight, which was just what he needed.

As he entered one of the stable buildings, a gust of could wind swept across the stable yard and howled mournfully through the buildings. Naruto shivered.

* * *

1) The lunging whip I mentioned is not like the normal riding whips you see riders using. They are longer, usually five feet long, and they are used to help direct the horse from a distance whilst they circle. They are not used to actually whip the horse; instead, they are flicked against the ground, or used to make a sound which helps to encourage the horse to move. Voice commands are also important when lunging. If a horse needs further encouragement, then it is okay to lightly flick him with the end of the whip. When actually lunging, the horse, the rider, the lunge line and the whip are supposed to form a sort of triangle, with the person as the point of the triangle. Lunging helps to improve fitness and muscle strength. Sorry for the long winded and boring explanations! Thought it might help you visualize what I was talking about! 

So you can all see I'm trying to lengthen the chapter lengths, just for your benefit. Be grateful, damn it! LOVE ME!

(ahem)

Anyways, this is a rewrite of the original seventh chapter. In actual fact, they're nothing alike. I'd written out chapters 7-11 but hit a dead end, so I had to get rid of them all and start all over again. I hope it was worth the effort guys!

This took me AGES to type up. Almost THREE HOURS non-stop!

Gah….I'm gonna go collapse in a heap….No wait, I can't because I have to go to the gym……

(wails) WHY ME!

But back to the story, I have the next chapter all written out and ready to type up, and the more reviews I get the quicker it gets posted! (Blackmail, I know. But can you blame me really? I'm a review whore!)

I got somewhere to be, so I hope you enjoyed it and please review!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapters. I know I didn't get around to replying to all of you, and I apologize! I'm rather busy at the moment, what with being unemployed and all…..

Ja Ne!


	8. Cocoons and Connections

**Disclaimer: **_The characters and the concept of Naruto do not belong to me! I'm merely using them for a little while._

**Warnings: **_Slight swearing, angst, shounen ai._

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* * *

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Part Eight: _Cocoons and Connections_

_Lay me in the soft green grass_

_Down where the river runs_

_Under the mountain caps_

_Gold with the setting sun_

_Walk me along the bay_

_Beyond the verdant trees_

_Carry me with your grace_

_Forever comfort me._

Raidou was just finishing putting away some tack when Naruto found him. He wasn't quite sure where to start, so he just stood there awkwardly for a few moments before Raidou spotted him.

"Hey. What's up, Naru-chan?" he asked kindly with a smile.

Feeling slightly reassured, Naruto smiled back tentatively.

"Um…I don't think I'll be able to come tonight. I know it's your birthday, and I'm really sorry, but…"

"That's fine Naruto," Raidou cut him off calmly. "Not one for crowds really are you?"

"No. Not really. I just don't feel too well right now, so…"

"It's okay Naruto. You don't need to make excuses. Don't let it bother you anymore, I really don't mind."

"Thanks Raidou," Naruto sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile.

"Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

"I'll be fine." Naruto said, before hugging him suddenly. Raidou chuckled and returned the hug, scuffing his hair affectionately.

"Happy birthday, Raidou," he murmured into the man's shirt.

"Thanks, Naruto. Now take it easy tonight, okay?" Raidou told him as they stepped back. "Genma's been worried about you. Talk to him about whatever this thing is okay? Promise me."

"I promise I will, Raidou."

"Good. Now go shower before Kiba uses up all the hot water"

Naruto smiled once more at the man and went to do as he said.

Dressed warmly in a pair of old track pants and a warm knitted sweater, Naruto waved the group off from the shelter of the stables and watched them walk, talking and laughing towards the brightly beckoning lights of the house. They were all huddled under umbrellas to keep off the cold rain, which was still pouring down.

Naruto turned his gaze over the rain soaked fields and tress for a minute, just admiring the beauty and the pure _green. _The rain was casting a mist over the fields, making it a serene and subdued landscape.

The only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain on the rooves and the muffled noises the horses made as they settled down for the night.

Naruto turned and began to meander through the aisles of the stables, checking that each horse was comfortable and warm, for the night would be a cold one. He rubbed inquisitive noses and spoke quietly to the ones who came to greet him, and left the ones who didn't alone, not wanting to disturb their rest.

He paused for a moment outside Taira's stall, just admiring the huge dark horse. Taira was a wonderful example of equine beauty, and he wondered what it would be like to ride such a spirited and wildly fierce horse. For a moment, he envisioned himself on Taira's back, galloping as fast as lightning, flying over the ground and soaring over jumps. It would be a dream for Naruto. It had been awhile since he had ridden such a magnificent horse.

Shaking his head, Naruto moved on wistfully, wandering slowly as his thoughts drifted.

Outside, it began to rain more heavily, and thunder rumbled in the distance.

As he passed an empty stall, he stopped and frowned, biting his lip worriedly.

Dark was approaching quickly and Sasuke had not yet returned. He'd be soaked and freezing. Common sense would have told him to have returned sooner. Unless something had happened to him, and he'd had some sort of accident. Naruto turned to go to the store room to use the phone when the drumming of hoof beats reached his ears.

Naruto made his was to the stable yard at a run. A wild eyed and soaked chestnut slid to a halt on the slippery stones of the courtyard. She was splattered with mud, and the reins were trailing, broken on the ground. It was a miracle she hadn't stepped on them and fallen.

But even worse was the fact that she was riderless.

Naruto forced himself to calm down as he slowly began to approach the panicked mare. She backed away from him with her eyes rolling. He murmured quietly, soothing her until she stood still enough for him to snatch the reins. The rain was frigid, making him shiver as it began to soak through his clothes.

He got the mare under cover, and led her towards her stall. Her coat was steaming, the heat of her body mingling with the cold rein. If he didn't get her dry soon, she'd get sick and he'd never forgive himself for that.

Naruto quickly tied her up, stripped her of her wet tack and used dry towels to rub the water from her body. He threw several warm stable rugs over her and quickly buckled them up before he locked her in her stable.

He stood still for a moment, furiously thinking about his next course of action. He should call for help and begin to organize search parties to find Sasuke. But no one was available.

So he'd have to find Sasuke himself.

Ignoring his fear and knowing what he had to do, he quickly grabbed a set of dry tack and saddled a large bay horse by the name of Hoshi as quickly as he could. The gelding was quiet and patient and he did not spook easily, which was a great help in such a situation.

In five minutes he was wearing a waterproof jacket and he was mounted, urging a slightly reluctant Hoshi out into the rain. Riding in track pants and sneakers was never very comfortable, but he ignored his own discomfort and began to look for the direction the mare had come from.

Seeing flattened and disturbed soil, he urged Hoshi into a fast trot, flying down the road as he followed the mare's tracks. Luckily the grass was soaked and the mare's hooves had thrown up clumps of dirt, making it easier to see where they led.

He reached a small trail leading into the woods, and he turned Hoshi, still following the fading hoof prints in the mud trail. Naruto resigned himself to getting muddy- it wasn't really important anyway, not when someone's life was on the line. The tall, leafy trees were sheltering them from the worst of the rain, and Naruto was glad, because he was already freezing, and his pants and shoes were soaked through. He was shivering slightly, and his fingers were numb and cramped as he clutched the slippery leather reins.

They rode for a good half hour before arriving at a small clearing. Panic set in when he saw a still figure lying on the other side of the clearing. He nudged Hoshi into s loping canter and leapt of Hoshi as they reach Sasuke.

Naruto crouched next to the unconscious form of Sasuke. Dark pale hair was flattened to his deathly pale skin. There was a small lump on his forehead where he had obviously hit his head, but other than that, there were no other physical signs of injury.

Frantically, he searched for a pulse and found one, but was not comforted by how cold Sasuke's skin was.

"Sasuke," he called, shaking him ever so gently. "Sasuke-sama, you have to wake up."

He was answered by a groan, and fluttering eyelids. Naruto relaxed slightly, glad to have gotten some sort of response, no matter how small.

"C'mon Sasuke-sama. Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you." Sasuke's voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper. Dull eyes opened partway, and a groan escaped from him.

"Do you hurt anywhere? Does you back or neck hurt?"

"No."

"I'm going to sit you up then. Ready?"

Naruto slid his arms under Sasuke's back and neck, carefully, and slowly bought him into an upright position, cradling him against his chest.

"Is your back still okay?" he asked worriedly.

"It's not broken if that's what you mean." Sasuke managed. His eyes drifted closed, and Naruto called his name again to no avail; he was unconscious once more.

Cursing, Naruto managed to pull of his waterproof and manoeuvred it onto Sauske to keep him warm.

Next came the difficult part- getting Sasuke onto Hoshi. He looked up at the large horse standing over them patiently.

Sasuke was taller and heavier than he was, and although years of working outdoors with horses had left him strong and fit, he doubted he could lift an unconscious body up so high by himself.

He checked for broken bones and when he found none, he gingerly pulled Sasuke's arm over his shoulders and found his feet, staggering slightly as he half dragged, half carried Sasuke over to Hoshi. The horse eyed them with interest, but made no attempt to move away.

"God damn it," Naruto whispered, desperately.

Still holding Sasuke firmly, he draped Sasuke's arms over Hoshi's back and held him in place while he rested a moment.

Then he began to shift him, his muscles straining with the effort so he was lying over the saddled, limply. After much work, he managed to shift him so he had a leg over each side, and his torso was lying along Hoshi's neck.

Panting now, Naruto leant against Hoshi's warm side before he mounted behind Sasuke, taking care not to dislodge him from his position.

Tentatively, he lifted Sasuke's body into an upright position and rested his back against Naruto's chest.

He shivered at the contact and tried not to think about the fact that it was Sasuke, a Uchiha who was resting against him. A beautiful and mysterious Uchiha that he was holding against himself. He released a shaky breath and wrapped an arm around Sasuke's waist to hold him steady before he gathered the reins.

Slowly, he turned Hoshi around and began the slow and difficult journey back the way he had come. It was difficult steering around Sasuke's larger body, but he managed it.

Naruto tucked the comforted tighter around Sasuke, and placed a hand on his forehead. Relieved that he was finally starting to warm up, he left quietly and shut the door to the lounge quietly behind himself.

He needed another shower. The rain had soaked him through, and the wet clothing had chaffed the softened skin on his inner thighs where they had been in contact with the saddle.

Once the bathroom door was locked behind him, Naruto stripped off his sodden clothes and left them in a heap. The water was scalding when he stepped into the shower, almost unbearable, but he endured it as his body began to warm up once more.

Sasuke was the only thing on his mind as he washed himself slowly. When they'd finally reached the stables, he had dragged the still unconscious Sasuke into the lounge room and sat him on a kitchen chair. He'd been unsure what to do, but after a short debate, it was obvious what he had to do. So he'd quickly stripped the wet clothes off him until he was in nothing but his underwear; he was blushing hotly all the while. After that, he'd dried him off, and settled him on the couch, checking him for any injuries before he covered him with warm blankets. The worst he had suffered was some nasty looking bruises and a bump on the head, but apart from that there was nothing else. He had left then to look after Hoshi.

Naruto tilted his head back and let the water run down over his face and neck. He remembered exactly what it had felt like to see Sasuke practically naked, his defined and muscled chest gleaning with moisture, his broad shoulders and long legs, his wet, inky black hair shining with rain. There was a faint trail of blank hair starting at his belly button which disappeared under the waist band of his black briefs. Naruto hadn't been able to look at that particular area, for he was already blushing enough by then.

Naruto swallowed thickly as he remembered letting out Sasuke's hair to dry it, and watching as the thick wet locks fell free around that beautiful face- those perfectly shaped eyebrows, those long, long black lashed as they rested gently on perfect alabaster cheek bones.

He'd had to resist breathing in Sasuke's unique scent as he'd worked to dry him off, and from touching that perfect, flawless skin.

Now he was breathing harshly, and desire flooded through Naruto's veins as he thought about him. His member was painfully hard and begging for release of any sort. So he hesitantly wrapped his hand around himself and began to stroke slowly, as he imagined how it would feel to have those graceful and strong hands on his body, and those lush lips roaming over his neck and shoulders.

_And those hands would slip lower, gripping his hips as Sasuke's tongue toyed with his nipples, licking and biting and sucking, making him cry out breathlessly…_

His movements became faster, and he bit his lip to keep from moaning. Pre-cum had dribbled over his knuckles and he knew he was close….so close…the tension was building to almost unbearable levels within him as his body screamed for release.

_And then those hands would touch him there, stroking and worshipping, bringing him to the bring over and over until he finally exploded with a scream….._

He couldn't stop the hoarse cry that burst from his lips as he came. White cum sprayed from him as he shuddered with his release. His breathing was ragged and he leaned against the wall with trembling limbs as he spiralled down from his orgasm.

Naruto was aching for Sasuke, desperate for his touch and desperate to hear any words that emerged from those perfect lips. And finally, it all fell into place. This feeling was more than a stupid crush. In fact, the depth and the intensity of the feeling scared him so much that he couldn't bring himself to put a name to it.

They came from different worlds, had completely different back grounds, and they lead two drastically different lifestyles. Sasuke was rich, handsome, intelligent and mysterious, and the world was his oyster. He was an orphan, who was constantly suffering from severe bouts of self-doubt and depression, who worked hard just to live and keep himself going, and he could see no future for himself beyond the next few days.

His feelings would amount to nothing. They would bring him nothing but misery, but he couldn't lock them away and pretend they didn't exist. It wasn't as if he had some sort of switch that could just make them disappear.

Feeling a whole new type of depression settle on him, he cleaned himself off quickly and turned off the taps, the euphoria of his fantasy fading away rapidly.

Once he'd dressed in a pair of warm house pants and another warm sweater, he steeled himself and went to check on Sasuke.

He closed the door quietly behind him and was surprised by sudden movement from the couch. He stilled for a moment when he met Sasuke's eyes but he forced himself to relax and move closer to see that Sasuke was frowning.

"Naruto? Where am I?" that deep voice was roughened and gravely, and it made him shiver slightly with renewed desire. He seated himself on the low coffee table facing Sasuke.

"You're in the living quarters of the stables. I found you in the clearing." Naruto told him quietly, watching as Sasuke frown up at the ceiling, clearly trying to remember.

"I remember riding back towards the stables, but then….nothing."

Naruto fiddled with his sleeve and looked down at his hands awkwardly. "It's natural after having a fall. I wasn't sure what to do so I bought you back here."

"You did the right thing." Sasuke said shortly after a moment.

There was an awkward silence, and Naruto shifted, earning an irritated glance from Sasuke.

"Do you need me to call you a doctor?"

Sasuke moved and sat up, propping himself on his elbows.

"No. Nothing is broken. I'm only bruised and sore."

Naruto flushed hotly as the blanket slipped off Sasuke's shoulders and revealed the smooth expanse of his creamy chest. He was all too aware that Sasuke was watching him as he looked away quickly. Instead, he looked at that faded rug beneath his feet.

"I put your clothes in the dryer. I'll get them and call someone to come and pick you up," Naruto said as he started to stand. A hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. Naruto froze and stiffened.

"No!" Sasuke said sharply. "No. That won't be necessary. If you don't mind, I'd rather stay here tonight and leave in the morning."

Naruto was shaking slightly as he sat back down, and he breathed deeply as he recovered from his shock. Confused now, he thought about the odd request for a moment but decided not to ask questions. It wasn't his place to, and besides he didn't really think Sasuke would answer them anyway.

"You can't stay out here, it's too cold. You can use my room. If you want to, that is," he offered tentatively.

His eyes widened when a small smile graced Sasuke's lips.

"That would be fine. I'd appreciate it if no one else knew I was here."

Naruto slid his hands under his legs to hide their shaking. He was somewhat in a state of shock at the moment. Although it had been small and brief, that smile had transformed his face momentarily into breathtaking perfection.

"T-they're all out tonight, and they won't be back until late," he explained, feeling slightly light headed.

"Good."

There was another awkward pause, during which Naruto looked at his sock covered feet.

"Do you have any clothes I could borrow?" Sasuke asked after awhile.

The hint of a smile was hovering on his lips, and Naruto fairly quivered at the look of amusement on Sasuke face; something about that look animated his whole face, and made his dark eyes dance. It transformed Sasuke into a completely different person.

His voice was lacking its usual coolness, and he sounded…softer, somehow.

"Ummm…would you like a shower?" Naruto asked, trying desperately not to blush as he remembered what he'd been doing in there a short while ago.

"Yeah. And maybe some food too?" Sasuke suggested, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly now.

Naruto hated the thought that Sasuke might have been laughing at him, but he was determined not to let it affect him. So he nodded, and stood up, heading towards the door and knowing that Sasuke was behind him.

He led the practically naked Sasuke out of the room and down the hall.

"This door is my room. And that's the bathroom there," he explained. "If you'll wait a minute, I'll get you some clothes. I don't know if I have anything that will fit you…."

"Anything will do," Sasuke said, almost kindly. He entered the bathroom, and

Naruto ducked into his room and went to his closet, rummaging around through the draws and the hangers.

Eventually he dug up a pair of old house pants several sizes too big for him. They had been his fathers, he realized, staring at them for a moment.

He grabbed a loose black shirt on his way out and found Sasuke again. "I think these are your size," he offered shyly as he handed them over.

Sasuke nodded his thanks and closed the door quietly.

While Sasuke was showering, Naruto hurriedly tidied his room and changed his bedding. When that was done, he looked around his room thoughtfully.

His room was his own private sanctuary, the place he retreated to when he needed to regain his strength and compose himself. No one came in here except himself, and he preferred it that way. Sometimes it felt like he was in his own private cocoon when he was alone in there. Outside, the world was chaotic, uncontrollable and disordered, but when he was in his room all by himself, he was safe and barricaded with his memories. He could watch the world spin from his cocoon and remain perfectly still amidst the activity.

It wasn't often that Naruto felt the urge to be a part of the world; he'd seen much more of it than he'd wanted to already, so he was usually just content to sit and watch. Occasionally though, he felt like there was something more for him, something he should have had, but didn't.

Naruto's heart was telling him that Sasuke could show him what he was missing- he could probably show Naruto many things which he'd never even knew existed. He could show Naruto the pieces he was missing and muc, much more.

Whenever he set eyes on Sasuke, he felt the stirrings of something which had been sleeping for a long time. Sasuke could show him those things, but taking that step was something which was very hard for Naruto, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to do that or not.

To trust his heart in the hands of another wasn't something that could easily be done.

Having Sasuke in his private sanctuary gave him mixed feelings. Nervousness certainly (who wouldn't be unnerved in the presence of a person who possessed such unearthly beauty?) and cautiousness, for having an Uchiha in the area that was the centre of his private life was a risky business. Fear that Sasuke would look down upon him, because his bedroom wasn't as sophisticated or even as masculine as some men's were. It was decorated with both warm and cool colours, which gave it mixed senses of calming serenity and earthy warmth. There were photo frames with pictures of his friends, and his parents, and there were books everywhere. Naruto had a fair idea of what Sasuke's room looked like, and it would probably be the exact opposite of what his was like.

But the most alien emotion was a strange sort of anticipation. This was _Sasuke_, the person he was currently working for, the person who gave him orders and expected them to be obeyed. The subject of his most recent sexual fantasies, and the one he had a deep longing for, stronger than anything he'd ever felt. It was Sasuke, the man with whom he was pretty sure he was in love with.

Feeling his desire rising once more, Naruto pushed aside the thoughts and turned his mind onto more practical problems.

Where was he going to sleep tonight? He couldn't sleep in the common room because that would only arouse curiosity and raise questions which he wasn't inclined to answer. And he definitely wasn't going to sleep in the same bed as Sasuke. For one thing, he definitely wouldn't get any sleep, and he wasn't sure that Sasuke would like such an arrangement; he was a stable hand after all.

So he'd sleep on the small couch he had under his window. He'd fallen asleep there before while reading, and although there wasn't much room, it was comfortable. It would do.

With his mind made up, he piled the cushions on the couch in a corner and grabbed a pillow from the bed before he searched through a trunk and pulled out an old but warm comforter.

As he was making up his bed for the night, the door opened. He turned to see Sasuke, the grey pants riding low on his hips and the black shirt making his skin seem translucent.

Naruto swallowed and gave him a slightly nervous smile.

"You can have the bed," he said softly, quickly turning back to his task. "Is there…what would you like to eat?"

"A sandwich will be fine. Anything you have," was the distracted reply.

Naruto turned his head to see Sasuke inspecting the books on his book shelf, his head tilted slightly to the left so he could read the book titles better.

Damp black locks hung free, and Naruto bit his lip, relaxing suddenly.

Sasuke just seemed to…fit, somehow. He looked completely at home in the foreign surroundings, as he examined his collection of books.

"I'll be right back," he said, slipping out the door.

Sasuke didn't seem to hear him, he was so absorbed in the books.

It didn't take Naruto long to make up a ham and salad sandwich for Sasuke. He'd already eaten dinner (Tenten had made sure he'd eaten something before they left, claiming that he'd probably forget if she didn't remind him) so he made nothing for himself.

He grabbed a can of coke as an after thought and headed back to his room.

Sasuke was now sitting on his bed, flipping through a book slowly.

A flash of heat surged through Naruto as he took in the sight, pausing in the doorway to do so. There was no denying it now. He wanted Sasuke, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Seeing him like this, so unguarded, with no barricades or defences, Naruto suddenly understood.

Sasuke had just as hard a time trusting people as he did; surely there was a reason he was always so defensive around others. Even with his friends, he wasn't completely relaxed.

Right now though, he was like a completely different person- thoughtful and quietly intelligent. He obviously had a sense of humour, and a thirst for knowledge (he had picked up one of Naruto's books on horse psychology and was reading it in earnest.)

He smiled a real smile now and crossed the room to set the plate and can on the small bedside table.

"Thanks." Sasuke murmured, totally absorbed in his reading.

"It's no problem."

Sasuke looked up at him then, studying him for a moment, then turning his attention to his room.

"I like this room. It's…different from anything I've seen before."

He blinked in surprise, and then smiled. "Thank you. I've always liked it," he replied, relieved to see that Sasuke seemed genuine in his opinion.

Naruto turned away and crouched down by his small heater to turn it on. He fiddled with the settings and listened to Sasuke shifting on the bed.

"Those are some good books you've got there. Even I haven't read some of them." Sasuke said idly.

Naruto hadn't been expecting Sasuke to start any sort of conversation, so it was a few moments before he replied.

"They were my dad's," Naruto told him. For once, the flash of grief he felt whenever he mentioned his father was dimmed, distant in the presence of such a diverse and different person.

Sasuke stayed quiet for a moment, as he chewed thoughtfully on his sandwich.

"How did he die?"

It wasn't a question he'd ever expected to hear from Sasuke, but he found he didn't mind answering. There was no cruelty behind the question, and he sensed that Sasuke wouldn't use the information to hurt him; no matter what happened,it just didn't seem like something this strange person would do.

"He was…killed in a riding accident," Naruto replied finally, getting up and collecting the book he was currently reading. "The horse threw his rider and bolted. My father was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

It wasn't a lie- more of a part truth- but it wasn't the whole story either. Even that was more than he was willing to talk about, especially today.

"I'm sorry."

Naruto glanced at his companion. "Thank you."

Sasuke finished his sandwich and settled back on the bed, immersing himself once more in his reading. He seemed content with the quiet that settled over the room.

Immensely grateful that they weren't talking about it any more, Naruto curled up on the couch, pulling the comforter over himself as he opened his book and began to read.

Outside, the rain still fell, running down the window in small rivulets. All was silent.

* * *

And so ends part eight…..

Well, I hope you all liked it, cause it took me AGES to write. I know, I know, the shower scene was a dud, but hopefully the next few steamy scenes between our boys will be better! Hope springs eternal, as they say…..or whatever. My point is, I'm working on it!

Thank you to all of those who reviewed last chapter (seriously, I lost count! They just poured in!) I greatly appreciate the enthusiasm and the appreciation you have for my efforts! It keeps me writing, so keep it up!

Shall I be nice and give you a hint of what happens next chapter, or shall I be nasty today?

Hmmmmm…..as a reward for you wonderful reviews, I think I will…

There will definitely be a few interesting scenes the next morning, and some more talking (they're getting to know each other! AWWWW!) And there might be another steamy scene too….or there might not.

I'll leave you hanging there shall i?

Lol!

Ja Ne!


	9. In Conversation

**Disclaimer: **The concept nor the characters of Naruto belong to me. Song lyrics are 'Breathing' by Lifehouse.

**Warnings: **Shounen ai, swearing, angst. The usual really.

**A/N:**_ You know, I realized something about this story the other day. When I originally began to write this, I intended for Sasuke to take advantage of Naruto and be a real bastard. Hence the reason for calling it possession, as in, sasuke treating Naruto like a possession rather than a human being. So now that I've fiddled around with the story line, and changed Sasuke into more of a human and a nice person, I've realized that calling this story POSSESSION has no real meaning or relevance anymore. If any of you think I should leave the title as it is, let me know. If you think I should change it, then…let me know that as well. Suggestions would be welcome also! _

_Now that that's off my chest, on to chapter Nine!_

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* * *

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Part Nine: _In conversation_

_Cause I'm hanging on every word you say_

_Even if you don't wanna speak tonight_

_That's alright, that's alright with me_

_Cause I want nothing more than_

_To sit outside heaven's door _

_And listen to you breathing _

_Is where I want to be, yeah._

Weak sunlight woke Naruto the next morning and he squinted as he sat up and stretched carefully.

He swung his legs off the couch, wincing when stiff muscles protested, and looked over to the bed. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that Sasuke was still asleep, lying half curled on the side. The Uchiha looked more beautiful than he had ever seen him before, lying there in the early morning light.

Naruto consciously forced himself not to stare in admiration, and he got up, quietly collecting some clean clothes and slipping out to the bathroom to splash his face and dress.

He'd slept later than he usually did- the sun had only just risen, and normally he'd be up and working by the time its light touched the horizon. Normally, the others would be stirring already, but all was quiet for the time being. None of them would be awake just yet. Not after last night. He'd managed to stay awake long enough to hear them stumble in at around one in the morning, most of them totally drunk. He'd smiled when he heard a drunken Kakashi call out to the younger adults, telling them to get to bed, and he'd listened to Genma laughing at Raidou as the man threw up in the bathroom.

Sasuke had been awake and listening too, with a strange look on his face as he focused in the book he was still reading. Naruto had been too tired to wonder what he'd been thinking, as his eyes were beginning to feel heavy. After half an hour or so, things had quieted down, and he'd fallen into a blissful sleep as silence settled over the quarters.

Naruto left Sasuke's clothes where he'd find them before he pulled on his boots and half stumbled into the living room.

Genma was asleep on the couch, his long limbs sprawled everywhere and his long hair falling over his face.

He smiled affectionately as he grabbed a breakfast bar and downed it as quickly as he could. He wanted to fit in a work out with Ani as soon as he could. He hadn't had time yesterday and he knew he needed to make up for lost time.

On his way out though, he paused and looked back at Genma, who was still oblivious to the world. He grabbed a warm blanket from the back of one of the chairs and carefully covered his friend; it was cool in the mornings, seeing as winter was fast approaching.

Genma stirred as he did so, and opened blurry eyes.

" 'ruto?" he mumbled, his voice rough with sleep. "What time is it?"

"Early," Naruto smiled. "You should go to your room. It's cold out here."

Genma pushed sleep mussed hair from his face and sat up a little, grimacing and raising a hand to his head.

"Mmmmm. I think I'll have a shower then get to work, yeah? No point in delaying the inevitable."

"The others will sleep for awhile longer," he pointed out. "You may as well sleep too."

"Nah. I'm awake now. Although I wish I wasn't."

Naruto gave him a smile as he sat up fully Genma was looking at him carefully now, more alert than he had been a few moments ago. He cleared his throat carefully.

"D'you want to talk later? I thought maybe…"

"How about lunchbreak?" Naruto suggested tentatively. "I'll come and find you."

"You will? I mean, cause if you don't I'll have to hunt you down." Genma told him, looking relieved.

"Yeah. I promise."

"Good. Now get out of here and go do whatever it is you do at this ungodly hour. I'm gunna go and drown myself in the shower." Genma said as he heaved himself to his feet.

Naruto was grinning when he left.

Having checked on Taira and Hoshi first off, Naruto set out mixing the grains for the morning feed (1). Normally, the horses would have been fed before this, but seeing as Naruto was feeding so many horses by himself, it took longer than it normally did. He could hear the restless noises of the horses as they got hungry.

He was hauling the last of the feeds over to the last few horses when Sasuke appeared and took two of the four buckets he was carrying. Naruto, surprised by his intervention faltered for a moment before moving to catch up with his longer strides.

Sasuke looked well enough, although he was walking stiffly. He imagined that the bruising he'd received, along with sore joints, made it difficult for him to move about as freely as he used to.

"Good morning, Sasuke-sama. I hope you're feeling well," he offered shyly.

Sasuke glanced at him, seemingly surprised by his greeting.

"As well as can be expected," he replied after a lingering pause. "Why are out working alone this morning?"

"Ah…" Naruto wasn't sure how to answer the brusque question without getting his friends in trouble.

"Obviously they're not up yet."

"It's okay, really Sasuke-sama. They're getting up now. I don't mind filling in for them for awhile" he protested weakly.

There wasn't much he could say to a Uchiha, and making excuses was unacceptable (or so Kakashi had told him.)

Sasuke frowned as he hefted a bucket up to shoulder height and poured the grain into a chestnuts food bin.

"Would you like me to saddle Taira, Sasuke-sama?" he asked as he copied his action and emptied the last of the bucket into the waiting horses bin.

"Sasuke."

"Pardon?"

"You don't need to call me Sasuke-sama. Just Sasuke is fine."

Naruto stared at him in surprise. Such familiarity between master and servant (or so to speak) was very uncommon, and it shocked him that Sasuke would want him to call him by just his first name. But then, Naruto knew that Sauske was different from most people from a wealthy family.

Sasuke just returned his stare, his expression calculating and shrewd. It saddened Naruto to see the return of Sasuke's shields and defences, but he told himself not to be so disappointed; he shouldn't have expected anything different. The strange companionship they'd shared the previous night was a one off situation.

That didn't stop him from regretting the loss though.

He nodded slowly, accepting the unusual offer of…whatever it was.

"Of course Sasuke-s….Sasuke."

"Good." There was another one of those pauses before Sasuke spoke again. "I don't think I'll be able to ride today. I think I'll put Taira out to grass for today."

Naruto nodded and immediately began to move on the direction of the horses stable,

"I'll do it." Sasuke said abruptly. "You go and do what you need to."

Naruto watched as Sasuke strode off toward the other stable block. Sasuke rarely moved anywhere without purpose; every movement he made was quick and efficient. He found that Sasuke was obviously a natural with horses. He was completely at ease around them, and he knew what he was doing. That much was clear, seeing as he owned such an expensive and highly trained horse as Taira.

Seeing such skill and obvious dedication to horses touched Naruto like nothing else could.

Somehow managing to shake himself from his thoughts, he headed off to Ani's stall with a smile on his face which he couldn't seem to shake.

The grey horse greeted him enthusiastically, nuzzling his hands and searching for treats.

He laughed as the young horse nudged him expectantly.

"You're spoilt, you know that don't you?"

Ani continued to harass him until he handed over the chunk of carrot and he scratched behind his ears with a chuckle as he slipped the head collar over his head and tied him up.

Ani was a pleasure to do anything with. He was willing and inquisitive, with a talent for mischief, and a warm heart. He liked to learn, and was always enthusiastic and trusting enough to try anything Naruto taught him.

All in all he was a sweet and lovable creature without a mean bone in his body, and Naruto knew that the gelding had captured his heart completely.

Ani welcomed his attention, leaning into each brush stroke as he guided it over his silken white coat. The horse wasn't exactly dirty, but stable dust had caught in his coat, and it was always good to remove it from the coat to prevent irritation from occurring.

Naruto used a hoof pick to clean out Ani's hooves, and he combed out his mane and tail and laughed once more as Ani tried to search for more treats.

"What's his name?"

He jumped in surprise and looked up at Sasuke standing outside the stall and watching them quietly. He offered a hand for Ani to sniff curiously and caressed the soft nose.

Naruto swallowed with difficulty and he watched the two interact. Ani was curious about the stranger and was busy investigating Sasuke single-mindedly. Sasuke didn't seem to mind in the slightest as he rubbed the horse's ears.

"Anikhetos," he managed to say. "His name's Anikhetos."

"He's a beautiful horse."

"He is," Naruto agreed, stroking the soft neck with a smile.

And he was beautiful, with a white coat that seemed to glow no matter how bad the lighting. His dark eyes were bright and lively. His body was still developing, but his proportions were evenly balanced- his neck long and arched slightly, with sloping shoulders, a correctly curving back, rounded hindquarters and long, slender, yet powerful legs. His mane and tail flowed like moving water. Ani was a beauty and he was Naruto's artwork. He was moulding and shaping him to become the greatest horse he could possibly be, and he couldn't have been any more proud than he already was.

"He's an Arab?" Sasuke asked.

"I believe so. Your father bought him a few weeks before you arrived."

He watched as Sasuke's face darkened at the mention of his father, but he said nothing about it out of nervousness. It wasn't his place to comment on any family problems that existed within the Uchiha family.

"Is he trained in dressage?" was the next question.

Naruto relaxed at the change of subject, relieved to be on safer ground.

He shook his head. "No, not really. At the moment I'm just conditioning him but in a week of so I may begin him in dressage. I'm not really sure yet."

Sasuke looked surprised at his answer. "You're training him? Kakashi lets you?"

"Yeah. I've helped to retrain horses (2) before, and in the last few years I've trained two other horses, although neither was quite as young as Ani is."

He couldn't bear it if they took Ani from him. Ani was one of the greatest pleasures that had held him together during the last few trying weeks. One day, his training would be finished, and he would have to part ways with him, but he wasn't ready for that yet, and neither was Ani.

"Are you about to take him out?"

"Y-yeah."

"Mind if I watch?"

Feeling that Sasuke was testing him once more, and obviously wanted to judge his ability with horses, Naruto swallowed once more, seeing that there was no way he could possibly refuse him.

"I'll just…go get his tack."

Sasuke watched quietly as he saddled Ani, but Naruto sensed that his attention was focused mainly on the horse and not him, so he managed to relax once more.

Ani's step was light and filled with energy as they walked out to the first indoor arena. He jogged and danced, eager to get started, but Naruto led him steadfastly and calmly, knowing that it would help to settle him down.

Sasuke remained silent, and even seemed to relax slightly in the early morning calm.

It was a beautiful morning. Although clouds still dominated the sky, the sun shone through the gaps, sending brilliant golden rays of light down to earth, cutting through the early morning mist. The air was cool, yet refreshing, and a group of birds chattered noisily off in the distance.

The morning had a sharpness to it which lifted Naruto's spirit. He was surrounded by such a beautiful morning, leading one of his most treasured charges and walking with the object of his fascination who remained an enigma to him.

Everything felt…right. The situation combined the old familiarity and comfort of horses and the exciting newness of Sasuke, and the nervousness dancing in the pit of his stomach.

Ani seemed to pick up on his buzzing emotions, for he began to pull forward and toss his head. Naruto smiled and laid a hand on his sleek neck.

The arena was dark and cool when the entered it. Sasuke turned on the lights of his own accord and Naruto quietly thanked him as he led Ani onto the soft sand of the arena.

By now Ani was familiar with their early morning routines, so he stood still as Naruto clipped on the lunging rein and secured the riding reins around his neck.

Sasuke's footsteps crunched on the sand behind him, so he wasn't surprised when he stopped at his side and handed him the lunging whip.

He started Ani off, first walking out in a large spiral until he was circling them in a 25 metre radius. He gave the whip a small flick, and Ani sprung into a ground eating trot, then broke into a canter unbidden.

Naruto patiently slowed him back down to a trot. He was a young horse, brimming with energy, and sometimes he tended to be a bit over eager.

"He's getting better at lunging. He has his days, of course, but I've started to ride him recently, and he's taken to it well."

Speaking of horses was easy for Naruto, because it was the thing he knew most about- it was natural for him, so he felt no nervousness as he spoke to Sasuke. He knew that Sasuke shared his love of horses, so that made it even easier.

"Was he ridden before he came here?"

"A little, yes. They trained him to take the saddle and a rider, but he wasn't comfortable doing it, so I started from the beginning again."

"And how is he to ride?".

"He's still a little unsure, but once he settles down and gets used to it, he'll be a wonderful ride. His stride is nice and smooth, and he's easy to sit to (3)"

"What's his temperament like?"

Naruto was feeling a little confused at all the questions, but he answered this question readily enough.

"He's very gentle and friendly. Very mild-tempered."

Sasuke nodded, crossed his arms and said nothing more.

Outside voices drifted through the early morning stillness as the other stable hands emerged and began their work.

Sasuke asked no more questions as Naruto finished the lunging, but he did leave the arena to sit in a chair outside the arena as he quickly measured his stirrup lengths and prepared to mount.

He murmured words of praise as he readied Ani, and the horse was relaxed and practically preening when he mounted.

He waited a moment to let Ani adjust before he encouraged the horse forward.

As he worked through his paces, he felt less tension in Ani than the last time he'd ridden him, and gathered that he was quickly adjusting to bearing a rider on his back. He did try several tricks to test him, including dancing sideways at the corners, and speeding up or slowing down at intervals, but Naruto took care to correct these mistakes firmly. Letting something like that slip when training a young horse could help form bad habits in the future, so it was better to correct mistakes before they became problems.

The time flew past, and an hour later, he sensed that Ani was beginning to tire, so he slowed him to a halt and patted his sweaty neck before dismounting.

He looked up at Sasuke as he approached and offered him a shy smile.

"You're doing well with him," Sasuke said, his approval warming his voice.

Naruto flushed, elated at the praise. "He's got a ways to go yet, but he's doing well."

He shifted self-consciously, noticing the small smile on Sasuke's face.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to watch again sometime."

"Sure. That would be…I mean, I wouldn't mind."

Sasuke was looking at him in a more serious manner, another of those odd, smouldering calculative look in his eyes that made Naruto feel hot and flushed and wanting to squirm uncomfortably.

As it was he concentrated on loosening Ani's girth as a distraction.

Warm fingers brushed his cheek and he jerked his head up in surprise.

Sasuke traced a finger along his jaw. Naruto's heart was pounding, and his breathing was caught in his throat.

He was standing closer than he normally would, and he could feel his body heat, he was so close. Even when the fingers dropped slowly from his cheek, Sasuke didn't move back.

"I never thanked you, did I?"

Naruto shivered at the sound of that voice, practically a whisper.

"You didn't have to help me, but you did anyway. Why?"

He swallowed, and begged his brain desperately to form some sort of coherent answer, but Sasuke's nearness had befuddled his senses and thrown him drastically off course.

"I…"

"No matter." Sasuke interrupted him. "You did it anyway, and I owe you a great deal. Whatever favour you may have, all you have to do is ask."

Naruto found that he still couldn't reply, but Sasuke didn't seem to be expecting an answer. He eased back a few steps smoothly, leaving Naruto leaning against Ani and struggling to regain his wits.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention yesterday to anyone. It'd only cause a fuss, and make mother worry if she found out. Not to mention that Itachi would be furious," he said n a normal voice again with that strange, dark shadow crossing his face once more.

Naruto nodded, confused by such rapid changes of emotion of Sasuke's behalf. "Is there…" he began.

"Sasuke?" an unfamiliar female voice called.

Naruto jumped, and Sasuke stiffened, cursing under his breath as the willowy figure of Ino and the taller one of Neji appeared at the entrance of the arena.

"There you are Sasuke!" Ino exclaimed brightly as they crossed the arena to join them. "We were so worried! We couldn't find you anywhere!"

"More importantly, Itachi wants you," Neji said smoothly as he met Sasuke's eyes. "He's pretty pissed."

Sasuke swore again, too quietly for any of them to hear what he actually said. He ran a hand through his loose hair as Naruto shifted uncomfortably beside him. Ani rubbed his head against Sasuke's shoulder, who merely rubbed his cheek.

Naruto's movement drew an irritated scowl from Ino and a curious one from Neji. It was as if they hadn't even seen him there to begin with. He supposed that it was the way they automatically acted around hired help.

"What are you doing out here anyway Sasuke?" Ino asked. "And with him no less?"

There was no mistaking the distain in the blond's voice, and Naruto looked away, determined not to let her words affect him. Nevertheless his good mood faded slightly.

A warm hand touched his arm briefly as Sasuke frowned slightly.

"Leave him alone."

Naruto, was bewildered by Sasuke's defence of him, but it filled him with a warm buzzing feeling that felt good, and he felt better for it.

Ino was glaring hotly at Naruto now, but Neji glanced between him and Sasuke before slowly offering his hand.

"You're Naruto, correct?"

Hesitantly, Naruto shook Neji's hand and nodded.

"C'mon Sasuke-kun!" Ino urged, smiling once more. "Itachi-sama is waiting for you, and we're going out today, remember?"

"Of course I remember. You go on ahead. I'll catch up" he told them shortly.

Once they'd left, with Ino complaining loudly to an impassive Neji, they stood quietly for a moment.

"Sorry about Ino. She's like that with all staff," Sasuke explained, giving Naruto a half smile.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," Naruto replied quietly.

"She's my guest, so I am responsible for they way she acts at my home."

Naruto frowned slightly, not agreeing with him, but he made no move to contradict him further.

"I'd better go. If you could bring Taira in this evening and groom him that would be good. His mane and tail could use a trim too."

"Do you want him saddled tomorrow morning?"

"I won't be able to get here until late afternoon tomorrow. Have him ready at four thirty. He can go out during the day."

Naruto nodded. "I'll see you then."

Sasuke nodded, before giving Ani a last pat and leaving.

* * *

The rest of the morning passed in a flurry of work. Most of the horses were out in the fields for the day, so their work was made somewhat easier.

As much as possible, he kept out of the other's way. After their long night out, most had hang overs, leaving them irritable.

Shikamaru was grumbling constantly, grating on everyone's nerves, whilst Kiba and Tenten argued relentlessly over the tiniest of things. In the end, Kakashi sent them to work at opposite ends of the stable complex, effectively ensuring that they had no contact whatsoever with each other.

Sakura was constantly nagging and snapping at anyone who she thought had wronged her in some way. Raidou took himself off to work alone, escaping the whirlwind of arguments to recover his equilibrium alone.

Kakashi and Genma, on the other hand, recovered more quickly than the others, seeing as they were hardened drinkers. Kakashi took great pleasure in goading the others to their work, baiting them with subtle challenges until they snapped at him; his only answer was to laugh and take himself off to annoy some other hapless soul. Genma joined his fun occasionally, laughing at the results and verbally sparring with Kakashi, which only annoyed the others even more.

Naruto did his best to remain inconspicuous, and he tried to avoid annoying anyone. More than once he had to stifle his laughter at something Kakashi and Genma had said or done.

All in all, despite the frayed tempers, it was an enjoyable morning.

The sky had cleared, and the sun was warm, drying up the worst of the puddles and lifting everyone's spirits a fraction.

It was Genma who found him at lunch break. Most of the others were in the quarters, fixing their lunches, but Naruto had managed to sneak in early and make himself a sandwich before the feeding frenzy had begun. There was no way he wanted to get caught in another argument.

"Here."

Genma handed him a cold can of coke as he hoisted himself up on the wooden fence beside Naruto. He was looking out over the fields, just absorbing the rare sunshine and watching the horses.

For once he was feeling relaxed enough to talk to Genma about what had happened.

"Thanks," he smiled at him as he accepted the drink.

"Some morning, huh? I noticed that you managed to make yourself scarce, huh?" Genma grinned. "Probably for the best. That lot can't hold their drink to save a life. Bunch of amateurs."

I don't suppose I'm much better, so I won't criticize."

"No, I can't imagine you as a heavyweight at all, kitten."

They sat in comfortable silence of a little while before Naruto cleared his throat and looked at Genma.

"Genma? I want to apologize."

"I don't want you to apologize, Naruto. What I want is to understand why. That's all."

"I treated you badly, because of my…stupidity. You didn't deserve it. And I am sorry for it."

"So help me to understand."

He sighed, knowing that his explanation would sound foolish and feeble, but he didn't know how else to explain the way he had ignored and avoided Genma. And Genma, the person who had been one of the first to befriend him when he'd arrived, deserved no less than the truth.

"I never used to be like this, you know. I used to be normal, and happy. Like Kiba, I guess. But once that changed, I became ashamed of who I'd become. When Itachi talked to me in the arena, I was terrified. I was afraid that I would lose everything I've found for myself here if I did something to displease him."

"You were afraid he'd hurt you, physically," Genma realized.

Naruto nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Someone's hurt you before. Who was it? Your parents?"

Naruto shook his head vigorously. "No! No. I never knew my mother in the first place and I never had any family besides my father, and he died…before I came here. I was put in a group home. It wasn't a very nice place."

Talking about it didn't seem as hard as he'd imagined it would be- of course, he wasn't giving specific details, because he knew he couldn't handle talking about them just yet. But at least it was a start, if only a small one.

"Did you ever tell anyone?"

"No. Never. I got myself out as soon as I could. Found this job, packed my things and left. I was fifteen. I'd been there for three years."

Naruto couldn't look at Genma, so he looked at the grass beneath his swinging feet instead. The shame and the grief was still there, clamouring for release of some kind, clogging his throat and tightening his chest, but he vowed not to let it overwhelm him.

"I was ashamed and humiliated that you'd seen me like that. I was afraid you would think less of me, so I avoided you to…"

"Try and protect yourself. It's okay."

Genma didn't say anything for a moment, and Naruto let him sort out his thoughts in silence.

"I came from a stable background. With a large family, both parents and three siblings. I always had a safe home, and someone to talk to. So I don't know what it's like to experience what you have. But I will always listen, and I won't ever judge you, so don't ever assume that I will," Genma said slowly.

Naruto blinked back his tears and smiled at Genma gratefully.

"I'm not sure you'd want to…"he began.

He jumped when Genma flicked his ear in mild annoyance.

"There you go assuming again. Nothing you say will ever make me think any less of you. Are we clear now?"

He nodded, glad that he'd finally gotten at least one of his worries off of his chest.

"Good," Genma pulled him into a tight hug before letting him go and hopping off the fence.

"Now c'mon. I believe there's chocolate cake that Iruka made. And you know Iruka's cake is the best."

"I do," Naruto agreed as he joined him on the ground and began to walk beside him.

For once, Naruto felt like he was beginning to find his feet.

* * *

1)Each horse has different dietary needs, and so each horse gets different grains, and different amounts when they get fed. There are many different types of grains and stuff that can be fed, but I won't go into any detail because I couldn't be bothered.

2)Retired racehorses often go through training programs so they can be used for pleasure riding. Older horses sometimes need retraining to break them of bad habits they've formed over the years. Horses from run down or neglected homes often need some kind of retraining in order to prepare them for better homes.

3)This means staying seated in the saddle when he trots. Rising trot involves rising up and down to the rhythm of the horses trotting gait, as opposed to sitting still.

Hookay, that was a bitch to write, but there you have it!

I typed this at four in the morning, so if there are any mistakes I don't really care.

I'm tired!

But anyways, any comments or thoughts you have, I'd love to read them. So do me a huge favour and review?

Suggestions for a new title would be good too.

Have a great day peoples!

Ja Ne!


	10. Crystalline Images part 1

**Disclaimer: **_As usual, I own nothing! Song lyrics used are from the song 'Angels Would Fall' by Melissa Etheridge._

**Warnings: **_I'd say that you're all pretty familiar with the content of this story, but I'll say it again sighs Contains Angst, Shounen Ai, Swearing, and occasional mentions of self-mutilation. There, happy?_

**A/N: **_will be at the end! Nah, the next two chapters were originally one huge chapter, but I decided to split it in two, hence them being called Crystalline Images. Enjoy!_

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Part 10: _Crystalline Images 1_

_The rope that's wrapped around me _

_Is cutting through my skin_

_And the doubts that have surrounded me_

_Are finding their way in_

_I keep it close to me_

_Like a holy man prays_

_In my desperate hour_

_It's better that way_

The stables were alive with noise, and the sounds were like music to Naruto's ears. Genma and Kiba were laughing about some obscure joke they'd pulled on Tenten, who was shrieking indignantly. Shikamaru's grumbling was almost inaudible, but it made Naruto smile and smother a laugh as the lazy teen slouched off towards somewhere quieter.

Raidou winked at him as he led a petite bay mare towards her stall, and Naruto smiled back as he grabbed Taira's leather halter and lead rope.

"He's right down at the far end of the field," Raidou called over his shoulder. "You're in for a bit of a walk, I'm afraid."

"I've still got a bit of time."

"Yeah, but I bet he's a devil to catch," Kakashi said from behind him.

Naruto turned and grinned sheepishly.

"He is."

Kakashi held out a bucket of grain, which he accepted gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Are you coming up to dinner tonight?" Kakashi asked. "Iruka would like to see you."

"I think I will," he smiled, actually looking forward to the idea for once.

"It's movie night tonight, too." The older man reminded him as he left.

And it was too, he remembered ruefully. Every Friday night was movie night, and most of the household servants came down to join the stable hands and to watch a movie or two. It normally involved an unhealthy amount of junk food, alcohol and some rather unruly drinking games which he never participated in, but always watched, because they were guaranteed to be a laugh.

Sometimes he went to his room early, because he got rather edgy in crowds of people, and he couldn't always shake the lingering feelings of nervousness and apprehension and although everyone there were his friends, he felt too vulnerable and exposed. When he'd first started working at the stables, he'd avoided approaching anyone when they were in groups larger than three. With a lot of time, and patience from his co workers, he eventually shaken that fear, but occasionally when he was feeling more down and tired then usual, he could feel the old blind panic returning.

Today though, he was in a surprisingly upbeat mood for once, and he felt that it would be good to catch up with everyone.

"Right. I'll be back soon."

He swung the bucket slightly as he walked out to the field Taira was in.

Stopping at the gate, he paused to consider exactly how he was going to catch Taira, who was currently rolling on his back in the dustiest, driest corner of the field. Naruto sighed as he opened the gate. It would be pointless to walk all the way down there, because he knew that once he actually got down there, Taira would only run away.

After a moment of thinking, he grinned. There was only one way to do it.

He hung the halter over his shoulder, and then whistled shrilly through his teeth. The dark horse heaved himself to his feet, and raised his head to stare at Naruto, who held the bucket up and rattled its contents loudly. Taira considered him for a moment with his shapely ears pricked.

After a moment though, he sprung forward into an energetic canter, heading straight towards Naruto. It took him a good few minutes to cross the length of the field, and for a moment, Naruto was worried that he wouldn't stop. Thankfully he slowed to a trot then a walk as he neared him cautiously.

He held out the bucket and Taira ignored him and stuck his head greedily inside it. As he munched, Naruto held him in place using the lead rope and slipped the halter on with deft hands. Kakashi had only put a few handfuls of grain into the bucket, so Taira had finished by the time Naruto had buckled the halter in place.

Smiling triumphantly, Naruto led him towards the stables, laughing when Taira gave the bucket a longing look.

"No more for you yet, boy. We can't have you getting fat now, can we?"

Naruto rubbed the curry comb vigorously on a section of Taira's neck; dust had combined with sweat to form a damp, partially muddy patch, and he had to really work to remove all traces of Taira's rolling. His muscles were beginning to ache in protest, and Taira, for his part, seemed to be enjoying the grooming.

"Monster," he muttered as he paused to wipe his sweaty forehead with his arm.

It was four-twenty-five, and Taira was nowhere near being ready for Sasuke. Sighing, he got back to work and started to worry a little.

"Hey, Naruto. Not finished yet?" Tenten asked, leaning over the stable door.

He shook his head mutely and kept working, switching his curry comb for a soft body brush.

Tenten opened the door and picked up a brush as she walked around Taira and began to work on his other side.

"You don't have to…"

"It's fine. I've finished my work, and a little more grooming won't kill me. Besides," she added, "I don't like seeing you get worked up about things like this."

Naruto relaxed a little as he crouched to run the brush down his legs briefly.

"Thanks Tenten. I appreciate it."

"It's nothing. It gives a chance to talk. We haven't been able to really talk for awhile, have we?"

"Not recently, no. I'm sorry."

"Me too. Ah well. How's things with you?" she asked conversationally, as she brushed Taira's hindquarters with quick, sure strokes.

"Not too bad at the moment," he answered truthfully, surprising himself. "I sorted things out with Genma."

"Oh good. I noticed you weren't talking. Anything interesting?"

"A misunderstanding, that's all. We just got our wires crossed," Naruto murmured, still feeling bad about how he'd handled the situation.

He'd been foolish and naïve and he'd taken his fears and his helpless anger out on Genma. The fact that he could do such a thing upset him. And scared him, if he was being honest. It hadn't been fair.

Naruto splayed his hand on Taira's dark neck, staring at it for a moment with an aching, tight throat.

It made him a bad person. The same person who was responsible for his father's death, and the same person he'd been striving to eradicate from his soul. Obviously it wasn't working as well as he'd hoped.

He released a shaky breath and tried to calm himself down.

_There's no use going down that path now, _he told himself. _Not when things were finally starting to get better again._

"Well, at least it's sorted out now, hey?"

He looked up at Tenten and smiled as best as he could.

"Yeah. It is," he hesitated a moment. "What about you?"

Tenten blinked as she threw the saddle blankets over Taira's broad back. "Me?"

Naruto smiled genuinely then. "Yes you."

"Well, things are going well for me too. I spoke to my dad yesterday and my brother on Tuesday. Kouhei's doing well at his university. And dad said he'd going up to the coast to visit my uncle on the weekend."

Naruto nodded as he worked, content just to listen as she talked.

"Me and some of my old school friends are meeting up on my next day off," she glanced sideways at him. "You're welcome to come along. Sakura is and I'm sure they'd love you."

He shifted uneasily as he straightened the chest plate and tightened the girth. Meeting new people wasn't something he was particularly good at or comfortable doing, and he preferred to avoid situations where he was forced to do so. He could never think of anything to say to them, and he had no clue how to start up a conversation with a complete stranger. He felt stupid if he even attempted to do so, and he had no clue how other people could.

"I'm not sure if I can…"

"That's okay. Maybe another time then."

"Yeah maybe," he said doubtfully. They worked on in silence for a few moments. "Any of them potential love interests?" he found himself asking. He blushed as he did so, but he was enjoying the conversation too much to let it end on such a note.

Tenten let out a surprised laugh. "Wow! That was unexpected!" She paused thoughtfully. "Nah, not in that lot."

He met her eyes as they worked together to do up the bridle.

"Already got a love interest then?" he asked shrewdly before looking down at what he was doing.

She stared at him in surprise, her hands stilling for a moment as her mouth gaped. He ducked his head lower to hide his smiled as he checked the throat latch was loose enough (1).

"Shite!" she swore. "I didn't think anyone knew. I told Sakura, but I didn't think she'd tell anyone, the little snitch."

"She didn't. I guessed"

"Really? I guess it just proves that you have to watch out for the quiet types then, doesn't it?"

He smiled and didn't answer.

"Is it that obvious that I like him?"

"Not really. I guess I'm good at reading people."

He'd learnt how to do that the hard way in the group home, and he'd learned quickly how to avoid making himself a target, but it hadn't always worked. He was good at gauging emotions, yes, but it was more because he was trying to figure out of he was in danger. If someone was in an angry of violent mood, he'd gone out of his way to avoid them. Of course, if that person had been looking for him in particular, then woe and betide the next time they'd met.

Naruto suppressed his involuntary shudder at that thought, and he cursed himself for bringing up those particular memories (2).

"Do you think anyone else has guessed?" Tenten asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure. I shouldn't think so."

"You haven't said anything to him have you? (3)" she asked in a lowered voice.

"No, and I'm not going to. I can keep a secret Tenten, and I won't betray yours," he told her, as he prepared to lead Taira out. "You can trust me."

She smiled warmly at him. "I know I can, Naruto. Would you mind if we talked some more about this later tonight? It would be nice to talk to someone other than Sakura for a change."

"Of course not. I'll see you later."

"Sure. And thanks, Naruto."

He smiled and gave her a small wave. "Thanks for helping."

Sasuke was striding into the stable yard with his usual self-assured and confident walk, and Naruto felt his heart speed up uncomfortably as it always did whenever Sasuke was around. Today he wore the usual black jodhpurs, with his gleaming knee-high riding boots and a white long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to mid arm. The loose material swirled gently around Sasuke's lean hips with every movement he made, and it seemed to be a few sizes too big, which only accentuated the graceful and sensuous air he had about him. A single shark tooth hung on a thin piece of leather at the base of his throat.

It was a different look from his usual sophisticated yet simple outfits, and yet it still suited him. The outfit was completed by the riding gloves and the riding crop he carried; in fact, he looked very professional and business like. But the thing that caught his attention the most was that Sasuke hadn't pulled back his hair into its usual ponytail.

His long locks of glossy black hair was lifted by the gentle breeze, making it seem like Sasuke was flowing as he moved, instead of walking like everyone else did. Adding to that was the fact that Sasuke's pale skin seemed even paler because of the starkness of his clothes; he seemed almost vampiric in the muted daylight. Like some sort of demi-god, Sasuke's beauty was unrivalled in Naruto's eyes.

And he looked extremely irritated, if the sharp angry flash of his eyes and the scowl on his face was anything to go by. Naruto knew immediately that keeping out of his way and remaining as unobtrusive as possible was the best course of action.

When Sasuke's eyes found Naruto however, his scowl lessened slightly, and he made an obvious effort to calm himself down.

"Hey Naruto. Any problems with him today?" Sasuke asked as he took the reins and rubbed Taira's head in greeting.

Naruto shook his head as he stepped back.

"None. He was out in the field today."

Sasuke nodded, seeming distracted.

"I think I'll work outside today. Could you set up the jump course for me please?"

"Of course, Sasuke-sama," Naruto replied unthinkingly.

"I thought I told you not to call me that," Sasuke said, rather sharply.

Naruto's eyes widened and he stepped back uncertainly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"Never mind," Sasuke said curtly as he turned Taira. "Get someone to help you set up that course."

Naruto swallowed thickly as he watched Sasuke lead Taira towards the outdoor arena. It served him right really; he should have been more careful, should have been paying attention to what he said, and it was only to be expected that Sasuke be displeased with him. So why did it hurt so much? Had he already sabotaged the fragile understanding that had formed between them?

Dejected, he turned and hurried off to find someone to help.

Raidou and Genma were busy shifting heavy bags of grain from the back of the Ute into a wheelbarrow, but they were the only ones around, so Naruto approached them.

"Hey kitten," Genma grinned as he hefted a sack up onto his shoulder. "What's up?"

Naruto frowned at the nickname, but pressed on and ignored it.

"I need some help setting up the jumping course."

"Ah. I'll come and help," Raidou said shooting Genma a reprimanding look for using the nickname.

"Thanks Raidou."

"No problem. C'mon."

They walked together over to the jumping field, past the outdoor arena where Sasuke was warming Taira up.

"Quite a picture, aren't they?" Raidou asked quietly when he saw what Naruto was looking at.

And they were. Sasuke and Taira moved together so smoothly that it seemed as if they were floating as Taira moved along in a fast working trot. His neck was arched proudly, his nose lowered, and his tail streamed out behind him, like a flag caught in a gust of wind.

Sasuke posted (4) in perfect timing, holding Taira in check and correcting Taira's mistakes immediately. They moved in a neat figure of eight around the arena, and Naruto marvelled at the skill that Sasuke handled Taira with.

Raidou smiled at him and slipped an arm around his shoulder.

"Better close that mouth before you catch something," he said teasingly.

Naruto flushed and tore his gaze away from the arena.

"No harm in watching a sight like that though," Raidou continued. "Just don't let him catch you staring. It'll inflate his ego even more."

Naruto wasn't sure if he liked Raidou talking about Sasuke in such a way, because from what he knew of Sasuke, he was nothing like that. His frown must have told Raidou so, because he ruffled Naruto's hair affectionately.

"Now don't take on so. I was only teasing. But seriously, be careful about what you say around him, Naruto. He's always been a little different from other Uchihas."

"Different how?"

"It's hard to explain really. He's just as difficult to figure out as the rest of his family, but something about him is just…different." Raidou mused, as they began to set the poles of the jumps into their braces.

"How do you know that?"

Raidou adjusted the height of the next jump so that it was even before they lifted the pole into place.

"He was around here a lot when he was younger. He was a strange child, always quiet and secretive, and he never smiled much. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh," Raidou told him. "It must've been hard growing up with a father like his."

Naruto thought back to the way that Sasuke acted whenever his family was mentioned, and silently agreed with Raidou. If his behaviour was anything to go by, then at least part of what his friend was saying had to be true.

"Why hasn't he been home in such a long time then?"

"He was in a boarding school before he got into the university he's at now, and he lives on campus, because it's halfway across the country from what I've heard. Apparently, he doesn't get along with his father,which is why he was in boarding school to begin with. But listen to me, gossiping like Sakura. How shameful."

Naruto smiled as they finished setting up the last jump.

"Better not let her hear you saying that."

Raidou snorted.

"As if I would. I don't have a death wish. Anyway, I'd better go help Genma finish up."

"Thanks," Naruto called after his retreating back.

He was headed back towards the living quarters when Sasuke called out to him.

"I'll be done in an hour."

Naruto nodded his acknowledgement.

"And Naruto? I'm sorry. About before, I mean. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

For a moment Naruto was stunned speechless, but he somehow managed to regain his wits and he smiled tentatively at him.

"It's okay…Sasuke."

A corner of Sasuke's mouth twitched and he turned Taira, heading for the jumping field.

Feeling the familiar warmth spreading throughout his body, Naruto continued on towards the living quarters, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

He opened the door and stepped into the warmth of the sitting room.

"Shut the door, shut the door!" Sakura cried out.

Bewildered, Naruto did so quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm half naked! Do you think I want those pervs Kakashi and Genma to see me like this?"

Sakura was dressed only in a singlet top and a pair of rainbow striped briefs as she searched through a washing basket full of clean clothes.

"If you don't want them seeing you then don't walk around dressed like that," Shikamaru drawled from his slumped position on the couch. His eyes were glued to the television, and the remote control was lying limply in his hand.

Tenten was in the kitchen making a cup of tea. She smiled at Naruto as she opened the fridge.

"Don't mind them; they've been like this for the last hour."

Naruto shrugged out of his jacket and toed off his boots as the warmth of the room heated his cool skin.

"And don't even think about leaving those there, Naruto. I've spent the afternoon cleaning this place, and if you leave a mess, so help you I'll…"

"Give the guy a break Sakura," Shikamaru groaned. "He's just had to deal with the resident Ice Prince, and he doesn't need to listen to your neurotic babbling."

"Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that, you lazy, insensitive…"

Tenten sighed, rolled her eyes and headed in the direction of her room. Naruto picked up his boots and slipped out of the room, thankfully unnoticed, leaving the two to their arguing.

After collecting some of his better looking clothes, he headed towards the bathroom and pushed the door open, surprised when a cloud of steam rushed out to envelop him.

"Hey man. I'm almost done," Kiba said, peering into the mirror and fussing over his hair for a moment.

"Sorry," he murmured, embarrassed as he set his clothes down.

"Don' worry 'bout it. We're both guys here. I'll be out in a moment."

Naruto hesitated before he pulled off his long sleeved shirt, being careful to hide his scarred wrists from Kiba's sight.

"Are they still arguing out there?"

"Yep."

"It's not surprising really. I think it's that time of the month for Sakura," Kiba smirked. "I think that Shikamaru's bitten off more than he can chew."

"How would you know something like that?" Naruto asked, feeling surprised and uncomfortable, but wanting to know.

Kiba could be surprising like that. Around a group of people, he was usually loudmouthed, excitable, and sometimes thick headed and abrasive on the nerves, but when he was alone and not worked up over anything, he was surprisingly sharp witted, intelligent and considerate.

Naruto liked him either way, for he had a way of being able to make people laugh, despite his love of stirring up trouble and he could always make him smile.

Kiba grinned wickedly at him on his way out, and tapped his temple with a blunt forefinger.

"I've got it memorized mate," he laughed.

"You mean you read her diary," Naruto realized with a smile.

"That too!" Kiba laughed again as he closed the bathroom door. With a shake of his head, Naruto shed the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower.

* * *

1. Would you believe that the throat latch goes under the cheek part of the jaw? And you have to be able to fit four fingers between the cheek and the strap, or it's too tight.

2. 'Those memories' he's thinking about are revealed later in this story (or possibly the sequel which I'm considering writing, which will deal mostly with Naruto's past. This story is concerned with the romance between Sasuke and Naruto)

3. The person Naruto and Tenten are talking about is Shikamaru. If you can remember back to the beginning of the story, I mentioned that Tenten and Shikamaru like each other.

4. Once again, Posting is rising to the trot. When a horse trots, the rhythm of his trot is 1 and 2 and 1 and 2 and 1 and 2 and so on. When posting, you are basically sitting and rising to that beat.

* * *

Well, another long overdue update! I'm sorry for the long wait people, and I thank you for your wonderful patience. I've had a lot to deal with lately, and I hope you'll forgive me!

And yes, I am thinking about the sequel to this story. I have it all mapped out in my head, see? I think you'll all enjoy it! (I hope!)

Anyway, thank you for reading!

The next part of the night is in the next chapter! Look forward to it!

Ja Ne!


	11. Crystalline Images part 2

**Disclaimer: **The concept and the characters of Naruto don't belong to me.

**Warnings:** Swearing, shounen ai, angst.

* * *

Part 11: _Crystalline Images Part II_

After showering, Naruto dressed in a pair of baggy, army print cargoes which hung low on his hips, a long sleeved beige shirt and a close fitting grey vest. It was a slightly more dressed up look from his usual old outfits, and he told himself that he wasn't dressing up for Sasuke's sake, but even he doubted that.

The air outside was getting colder and the dark clouds hung low in the sky, threatening a heavy downpour soon.. As he left the quarters, he looked towards the jumping paddock expecting to see Sasuke and Taira still jumping the course. The paddock was empty though, so he headed towards the stable worriedly.

Sasuke had tied Taira up and had already unsaddled him. The youngest Uchiha was crouched down by the horses left foreleg, and he was sliding a hand down Taira's lower leg slowly.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked hesitantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"I decided to finish early," Sasuke interrupted him quietly. "I think he's strained his foreleg on an awkward landing."

Naruto crouched down next to Sasuke and placed a hand on Taira's fetlock (1) feeling the unnatural warmth and a slight swelling beneath his palm.

"It's not too bad," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Would you like me to get Kakashi anyway? He knows more about this stuff than I do."

"It's okay. Let's leave it tonight and see how it is tomorrow morning," Sasuke decided after a moment of thinking.

Naruto nodded and stood up when Sasuke did, unsure of what to say next.

"Are you coming up to the mansion tonight?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

"Yeah, I'll be up there for dinner," Naruto answered slowly, feeling a sting of nervousness deep within his belly.

"Meet me in the entrance foyer before you go back down for the night, will you?"

"Why?" he asked without thinking once again.

But this time, Sasuke just smiled slightly, his eyes amused as Naruto mentally kicked himself for his mistake. This softer side of Sasuke had caught Naruto unawares, and it was affecting him in ways that he hadn't though possible. The hint of warmth in Sasuke's dark eyes changed his whole face, and Naruto loved being the one that warmth was directed at.

"I have something I want to show you. Returning a favour you could say. Will you meet with me?"

Naruot still hesitated, his emotions in turmoil as he tried to think clearly. Nervousness and fear warred with excitement and intense curiosity.

"Trust me, Naruto. I promise it will be worth it," Sasuke said patiently.

"Okay," Naruto agreed at last.

Sasuke reached up and brushed Naruto's chin with his knuckles, smiling when he jumped, wide-eyed at the unexpected contact.

"Thank you. Put Taira away and put his cotton on for me, would you please? I'll see you later."

Naruto leant against Taira as Sasuke left, his business like stride carrying him out of sight within moments. Naruto missed him already, and the sudden certainty he'd felt about his decision only moments ago left him, and he wondered if it was a good idea to meet Sasuke outside of work.

Taira craned his neck around and sniffed curiously at Naruto, before nudging him sharply.

"You're right. Let's get you to bed."

With hands that still shook slightly, he untied Taira and led him into his clean stall, bolting the stable door behind them before he took the halter off. Taira headed straight towards his feed bin, and Naruto laughed as he grabbed Taira's cotton stable rug and follow the horse. He threw the rug over the horses glossy body and fastened the chest and leg straps.

Running his fingers through the silky mane, Naruto sighed and scratched Taira's poll(2).

What was he going to do about Sasuke? On one hand he had Raidou telling him to be careful around Sasuke, but Naruto found it hard to believe that Sasuke was dangerous in any way, or deceptive or cruel. Secretive, yes, and mysterious definitely but those traits only made him more alluring, and they didn't mean that he was dangerous. He wasn't scared of Sasuke any more, nor was he wary of him. For some reason, on some level he trusted Sasuke and that in itself was confusing. No, what he was afraid of was what Sasuke made him feel, the emotions he felt whenever Sasuke was around, and the doubt that was left when he wasn't.

There was just something about Sasuke that attracted Naruto, and he found it hard to believe what everyone said about Sasuke.

"You still here?" Raidou said, making Naruto jump as he approached.

"I was just finishing," Naruto replied as his heart stopped racing, and he smiled at the scared man.

"You work too hard Naruto," Raidou smiled at him. "Come on. I'll walk with you up to the house. Everyone went up awhile ago."

All throughout dinner, Naruto's mind was on Sasuke, despite all the noise and conversation around him. Dinner was delicious, a huge feast of everyone's favourite dishes, but Naruto hardly paid any attention to the taste of the food in his mouth, because his mind was preoccupied with other things.

He still managed to hold a decent conversation with Tenten, even if he couldn't remember most of what they talked about and he ate as much as his appetite would allow, for he didn't eat much during the daytime. Naruto knew all of the household hands, but he didn't know all of them well so he tended to keep company with those he was closest too. And there was always Iruka to fall back on when he needed help of any kind, and it felt good to have that kind of security. Just the knowledge of knowing that someone was there for him kept him on track and gave him peace of mind to a certain extent. For some reason, Iruka had always been protective of Naruto, and while he liked feeling secure there were times when he longed to be just a little more independent of everyone else.

He needed to learn to stand on his own two feet, and somewhere inside, he had a feeling that Sasuke would be the one to help him gain that independence that he needed.

As everyone got up to start cleaning up the remains of their feast, Naruto slipped out unnoticed and made his way down the softly lit corridor, and emerged from the well concealed door which led to the kitchen and the rooms of the servants. Through a shadowed alcove , he came out in the shadow of the grand staircase, which swept up to the second story.

Before the staircase was the immense entrance foyer, made entirely of majestic white and grey marble, with four huge pillars. It had the appearance of a rich hotel foyer. On the left of this foyer was a sitting room, where visitors stayed while the waited to be received by whichever Uchiha had invited them. On the right was another such sitting room, which led into a ballroom, and the main dining and entertaining areas.

Sasuke was standing in the right sitting room, looking out the huge glass windows into the landscaped gardens, which were lit by small garden lights. He'd changed into a pair of black dress pants and a long sleeved dark blue evening shirt which shimmered in the light. His dark hair was tied back as usual, but even his bangs had been pushed back off of his face. The outfit made him look even more aristocratic than he usually did, very official looking, and to Naruto, intimidating.

He felt the bite of nervousness as he approached. Sasuke turned to face him before he could say anything.

"I'm glad you could meet me," he said gravely with no smile on his face and no warmth in his eyes.

Naruto began to wonder if he'd made a mistake.

"I hope you weren't busy," he said timidly.

"You mean this?" Sasuke plucked at a sleeve distastefully, and Naruto nodded.

"No, my father insists that we all dress nicely when we're to be seen by others. Something about 'maintaining our image'." Sasuke gave a humourless laugh.

"Oh. Well, what about Hyuuga-sama, and Yamanaka-sama? Surely they…"

"They're busy getting ready. We're going out tonight," Sasuke interrupted. "Come on."

Naruto followed Sasuke back out into the foyer and up the main staircase. He'd never been in these parts of the mansion before, so he tried to keep pace with Sasuke, who seemed to sense his curiosity and slowed down a little so that Naruto could look and take in his surroundings.

"This is the floor where father has his study and the libraries. There's another sitting room where father entertains his male guests, and mother's parlour and her own day rooms," Sasuek explained when they'd reached the second floor.

"Oh. It all seems so…" Naruto said in awe, as he looked at the paintings they passed.

"Big? I know."

"I can't imagine living here," Naruto offered shyly.

Sasuke turned his head to look at Naruto, and he smiled with warmth this time.

"It takes some getting used to. I've lived here since I was a child, so it doesn't really bother me, but I can understand how daunting it can be to those who aren't used to it."

Once they'd reached the top of the main stairs, Sasuke turned right and led him down the hallway. Taking another right turn, they were faced with another staircase, a miniature version of the one in the foyer. As they ascended the stairs, Sasuke turned his head so Naruto could hear what he was saying.

"On this third floor, all the guest rooms are in the west wing. Our rooms are on the south wing. The fourth floor is all storage space."

It seemed that Sasuke was taking Naruto to the south wing. Once they'd reached the third floor there was a large wide hall way, with three different directions to go in- one straight ahead, one to the right and another to the left. Sasuke headed down the left, and Naruto hurried to catch up, not wanting to be left behind in a place where he probably shouldn't be in the first place.

Down the end of the left hallway was a set of large double doors. Sasuke opened them and beckoned for Naruto to enter.

"These are my rooms," he siad casually as he sauntered in, with a wide eyed Naruto behind him.

There was a small marble entrance behind the door, which led into a wonderfully furnished sitting room, with large and plush couches and armchairs, a large fireplace and a set of glass doors which led onto a balcony.

"This way."

Naruto followed Sasuke through a single door at the back of the room, and he found himself in another, larger room.

This one was obviously where Sasuke spent most of his time when he was alone. In one corner, a glossy black mini grand piano sat, with sheets of music spread over the top and on the chair. In the centre of the room was another set of couches and armchairs. Another set of doors led onto the same long balcony which was accessible from the sitting room as well. The entire side wall was covered in three large bookshelves crammed with books. Easels stood off to one side, and in the corner to the right of the door they'd just entered through was a home office, complete with computer, printers, and a stereo systems.

At the opposite side of the room was another set of double doors, although they were significantly smaller than the ones they'd entered Sasuke's apartments by.

"That's my bedroom through there, but I wanted you to have a look at my collection of books. I thought that there would be some that you'd be interested in, judging from what I saw of your own collection of books the other night." Sasuke said lightly. "Feel free to browse. I won't be long."

Sasuke disappeared into his bedroom, and feeling a little stunned, Naruto took another uncertain look around the room. His eyes were automatically draw to the half finished canvases which stood in the corner of the room.

There were three easels, and one was a serene landscape picture, painted in water colours, and perfect down to the tiniest detail. Naruto could have sworn that he was looking at a photograph, if it wasn't for the fact that there were blank places in areas spread over the canvas that hadn't been filled in.

The other two were simply stunning, even unfinished. Darkly seductive, they were portraits of a barechested, androgenous looking adolescent, done in balck and white and playing with shadow and light. The first one was curled into a protective ball, with one eye visible through a curtain of luscious hair. The other was a charcoal drawing of the long slender back, with the youth looking forlornly over his shoulder at the viewer, and Naruto was transfixed by the haunted look in the models eyes. Had Sasuke drawn these from memory? Or had he actually drawn them from someone? A lover? Or a friend?

They were simply amazing, and Naruto thought they reflected Sasuke's character perfectly; dark, seductive in a predatory way, with hidden depths and many, many secrets.

Reluctantly, he tore his gaze away and turned to the bookshelves. It didn't take him long to find the section on horses, and he was soon immersed in several which he pulled from the shelf. He didn't hear Sasuke re-enter until he heard something being dropped on the low coffee table, and he jumped in surprise.

"Borrow as many as you like. I'm sure you've found some you're interested in?" Sasuke glanced up at Naruto as he rifled through a bag.

"I uh…..thank you. I haven't read a lot of these," he replied, blushing as he set all but two back on the shelves. Sasuke hummed but didn't reply, so he wandered over to the piano and brushed his fingers over the keys reverently.

"I didn't know you played," he murmured.

"My mother taught me. I've been playing since a was a child."

"My father used to play," Naruto said suddenly, surprising himself. "We moved around a lot, but whenever there was a piano available, he would always sit and play to me. I could listen to him for hours on end and I would never grow bored of listening."

He flushed when he realized what he'd said and he looked at Sasuke, wondering how he'd react. Sasuke was fastening a bracelet around his wrist, and not looking at Naruto.

"Your father sounds like he was a talented man."

"He was."

Naruto's eyes lingered on the sheets of music scattered around for a moment before he turned. His flush returned full force when he realized that Sasuke was unbuttoning his dress shirt. Embarrassed, he kept his gaze averted and walked over to take another look at Sasuke's artworks.

"Your paintings are amazing," he murmured to himself, but Sasuke had obviously heard him for he uttered a noncommittal noise.

"One of the subjects I study at University is art. I'm rather lacking in inspiration at the moment. I'm struggling to finish my major assignment for the semester." Sasuke said as he came to stand behind him. Naruto reached out a finger and lightly touched the rough canvas, running a finger over the curve of a shoulder.

"He looks so sad."

"Hmm. I'm doing my major on human emotion."

Naruto felt edgy with Sasuke standing behind him, so he turned to face him, averting his eyes shyly when he noted that Sasuke was wearing a plain white Singlet and a pair of baggy jeans, and not much else. He started when Sasuke reached out and ran a finger over the spine of one of the books that he'd picked out.

"This one's a good one," he murmured thoughtfully. "You're welcome to come back any time to change them."

Naruto knew that there was no chance in hell that he'd ever invite himself into Sasuke rooms, but he nodded anyway, touched by the generous offer.

"Thanks. I-I mean, thanks for this. You didn't have to do repay me or anything." Naruto said, feeling uncomfortably awkward and flushed.

Sasuke smiled at him. "That's okay. I wanted to."

Naruto held his gaze for the briefest of seconds before he looked down at his watch nervously, and tried to calm his leaping stomach. He was jittery with nerves and unidentifiable emotions, and he could hardly stand the way that Sasuke seemed to probe him with his eyes. It felt as if Sasuke only had to look at him to know everything about Naruto, and it scared and intrigued him at the same time.

"I'd better get going before they start wondering where I am."

Sasuke nodded, and grabbed a jacket. "I'll walk you out the back way then."

Once Sasuke had walked him down to the first level and past the kitchen, Naruto opened the door, and turned to smile hesitantly at Sasuke.

"Well….goodnight, Sasuke."

"Wait a moment," Sasuke put a hand on his arm, and Naruto turned to look at him once more, trying desperately to ignore the jolt in his stomach at the unexpected contact.

"Tomorrow you'll be working Ani again, right?"

Suddenly unsure again, Naruto nodded. "Would you like me to saddle Taira first?"

Sasuke shook his head, some of his black bangs falling into his face, and he pushed them away with an impatient hand.

"No that won't be necessary. I'll meet you there at seven."

"You want to watch again?" A surprised Naruto asked.

"If you're okay with that, then yeah, I would."

The concept of Sasuke asking him permission for anything seemed rather funny, and he struggled to contain his smile as he looked up at Sasuke once more.

"It's not a problem."

"I'll see you then." Sasuke nodded, and he squeezed Naruto's arm before he turned and walked away, disappearing around and corner.

The night air was frigid, and Naruto shivered and wrapped his arms around his body to try and preserve some warmth. The mansion was kept at a constant temperature, and it had been pleasantly warm. He found himself missing the warmth as he trudged down the road towards the bright lights of the stables.

The only sound was the crunching of the gravel beneath his shoes, and the strange, silence that usually preceded a storm. The air smelt strongly of rain, and Naruto turned his face up to study the low hanging clouds. There were no stars, only the darkness of looming clouds. Was that some sort of warning to him? He'd never believed in superstition, or mysticism of any kind. Fate, and Destiny were things that he had stopped believing in when he'd lost his father

Naruto refused to believe that Uzamaki Arashi had been destined to die that day, because it wasn't fate that had decided that. It had been him. His own foolish, selfish actions, not fate had sentenced his father to death. He couldn't believe that anything so terribly painful was meant to happen.

Naruto was quick to try and push those depressing thoughts aside. He wouldn't ruin tonight by having people worry about him. His depression was an on going problem which he did his best to hide from everyone, and so far he'd managed to keep it mostly to himself, and that was okay with him. He had no desire to relieve his burden on anyone, mainly because he didn't want them all to scorn him for what had happened but also because he didn't deserve the relief it would bring.

He could still remember almost everything about that day as if it had happened yesterday. He relieved it almost every day in his mind, and he didn't care how he punished himself because of what had happened because it was his fault, and his fault alone.

He remembered everything…

_That morning, before his dad had left to go to the stables, he'd had a fight with his father, which was something that only happened once in a blue moon, and the fact that it had happened at all should have forewarned him of what was to come somehow._

_Naruto could remember his father getting angry- the clenching of his jaw, and the steely blue of his eyes- but he hadn't backed down. Eventually, his father had left, with a calm which was very clearly forced. His father never yelled, which had often served to anger Naruto even more, but there had been no avoiding that argument._

_They were currently staying at a big commercial breeding farm, which raised purebred thoroughbreds. Many of the horses were temperamental and unpredictable, and Arashi had firmly ordered Naruto to stay away from them unless he was around, or someone he trusted was accompanying him. Naruto, resentful that his father was still trying to protect him despite him being twelve years old, had grudgingly agreed. _

_However, there was one horse that Naruto was drawn to. A huge, bay stallion, with a fierce disposition and a restless spirit. Arashi had strictly forbidden Naruto to go near that particular stallion, stating that he was dangerous and had a mean streak. Naruto hadn't believed him, or liked that one bit. _

_That morning Arashi had found out from a co-worker that Naruto had been around the horse yesterday afternoon, and he had been furious with Naruto. _

_Naruto hated making his father angry or upset with him but that morning he had been unusually surly and irritable, and he refused to acknowledge his mistake._

_After his father had left, Naruto had gone off to sulk somewhere alone, although he couldn't remember where he'd gone or what he'd done with the morning when he thought back. That morning had passed uneventfully after that fight._

_But he did remember that at lunch time, Arashi had found him sitting on the fence of an empty round yard. His father had hoisted himself up onto the fence beside him, his long form settling on the narrow perch with ease. Naruto had refused to acknowledge his presence at first, looking away with the grumpy demeanour that prepubescent children often had about them._

"_I'm sorry for getting upset with you this morning Naruto. But ti's important that you realize why." Arashi began. "Will you look at me please?"_

_Naruto had glanced sideways at his father for a brief moment before he'd looked away again, still grumpy and refusing to say anything. Arashi had sighed._

"_I'm only worried about your safety Naruto. Horses are big animals, and there is always a risk that you could be injured, especially with the stallions here. Many of them don't have nice character's, and are too headstrong for you to handle. I'm only worried about your safety. Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_Naruto had shook his head._

"_You just don't want me to work with you. I can look after myself."_

"_I know you can Naruto. I just…I don't want to see you hurt that's all. So for now, can you just do as I ask and be careful?"_

"_Fine," Naruto had said snappily. _

"_One day you'll see what I mean Naruto," Arashi had said softly. "I know that you're mad at me, but can you at least try to see it from my point of view?"_

_Naruto had remained silent, and after a moment, Arashi had slid off the railing._

"_Okay. Come and talk to me when you're ready, okay?" he'd said, before kissing Naruto's forehead and leaving him alone._

_He'd never gotten to sort things out with his father. He'd been too stubborn and too selfish to see past his own feelings, to try and understand his father. Arashi had been trying to treat him as a mature adult, and he had thrown that back in his face with a childish temper tantrum._

_Two hours later, his father had died saving his life…._

Naruto's throat was tight, and his eyes were prickling with suppressed tears. He had so many regrets, so many things he would have done differently if he could have. He'd loved his father more than anyone. Uzamaki Arashi was the only family that he'd ever had, and he'd been taught by him that family was important. Family had to stick together, no matter what obstacles lay in the way, and no matter what life threw at them. Family is everything.

Naruto had no family left. He was the last of the Uzamaki's and that was his fault. He was the cause, and he would never forgive himself for what he'd done. He'd never forgive himself for the way in which his father had lived the last few hours of his life.

He walked into the stable yard, and stood for a minute, letting the familiar sights and smells was over him. So many things had changed, and he wondered if he deserved all that he'd been given .

Instead of heading towards the loud noises emanating from the living quarters, Naruto made his way to Ani's stable. The young horse was docile and calm, no doubt because he was resting, but he got up to greet Naruto when he appeared at the stable door.

Naruto wrapped his arms around Ani's neck and breathed in the horse's familiar scent as he closed his eyes and remembered his fathers bright smile, his loud and infectious laugh and the way he'd prided himself on having Naruto as his son.

A few stray tears ran down his face and soaked into Ani's silky neck. That day had been followed by a series of tragedies which had slowly worn Naruto down, and changed him into the person that he was, and the person that he hated the most.

Ani nuzzled him, distressed as Naruto trembled against him.

He fought to compose himself, and he released Ani's neck and stood back as he wiped the tears away.

"This is stupid, isn't it Ani? I should just move on and forget," Naruto whispered before he shook his head.

"Maybe forgetting isn't the answer." a soft voice said from behind him.

Naruto whirled around, frightened, to face the figure who stood, half in shadow behind him.

"Whatever it is that's upsetting you, you shouldn't forget about it. It's a part of who you are, and you can't deny it. You should never deny who you are. You should face it, and accept it. Make peace with yourself," Raidou said quietly, raising a hand to touch his scarred cheek briefly. "I did. I had to. And one day soon you will have to too."

Naruto swallowed and looked down at his feet. "It's not that easy."

"It never is. But it has to be done, or you'll never be at peace with yourself." Raidou smiled after a minute. "Come on. They're wondering where you are. Best not to keep them waiting."

Naruto gave Ani one last pat goodnight before he joined Raidou, who wrapped an arm securely around his shoulders.

"Such a sad face Naruto. What will Genma say if he sees you like this? You know he'll fuss like a mother hen," Raidou teased gently, and Naruto managed a small smile for his friend.

Raidou's words rang clearly in his mind as his friend led him into the warmth of the sitting room. The warmth and the greetings that met him were enough to take his mind off the pain for awhile. A brief anaesthetic for the barely healed wounds that existed deep within a quiet place of himself.

* * *

1) The fetlock is the joint directly above a horses hoof (I think...I'm pretty sure, anyway!)

2) The poll or crest as it is known is the section of neck behind and between the ears. I hope that made some sort of weird sense because I'm too lazy to explain it any further.

3) There was originally more to this chapter, which explained exactly how Naruto's father died, but I decided to cut it out and save it for later. Sorry to those of you who wanted to know! You'll have to wait a bit longer I'm afraid!

PHEW! Another chapter done folks, and one that's been eagerly awaited by the lot of you, I'm sure! (Go one, admit it! You love me!)

Moving on, I'm sorry for the long wait. I have no excuse really, except that I'm lazy. I'M SORRY! But the next update will be soon, I promise! Thanks for reading and for being so patient with me guys! Appreciate it!

Leave a review on your way out!

Ja Ne!


	12. Anywhere But Down

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Sasuke...

**Warnings: **Shounen Ai/Yaoi, swearing, angst and subjects which may offend some readers.

* * *

Part 12: _Anywhere but Down_

Naruto greeted the coming of the next day with a strange mix of apprehension and anticipation, and he wasn't sure what had brought the feelings on. After Raidou had found him, Naruto had joined the others in watching movies and playing games and drinking. He'd gotten slightly tipsy, but had stopped drinking after that and retired to his room for the night. Shikamaru and Kiba had joined him after awhile, and they'd lazed about in his room until two in the morning.

All the while, Naruto had felt like he was carrying some dirty little secret around. He knew that if anyone should find out about the blossoming feelings he had for Sasuke, there would be trouble. Sakura would be unbearable, as she always was when she felt she had been slighted in some way. Kakashi wouldn't yell at him, but Naruto was sure that his disapproval would be felt in ways other than that. Genma would be furious, Raidou upset, and Kiba would probably scream bloody murder about how Naruto had been manipulated and abused by 'that scheming Uchiha bastard.'

Not that any of that really mattered. Naruto was well aware of the consequences his actions could produce, but at the thought of Sasuke, all of it seemed insignificant.

To say that Naruto was distracted that morning would have been an understatement. His mind was on other things- namely Sasuke and his flashbacks of last night. It all seemed...distorted somehow, as if reality had somehow been warped when he wasn't looking. When had Sasuke become such a large and important part of his life?

For the fifth time that morning, Naruto shook his head and tried to refocus on what he was doing. The early morning cold helped him with that. He shivered in his overlarge jacket, and hoped that the early morning fog would clear soon. It was so thick that the moment he had stepped outside that morning, he had been faced with a wall of white.

Taira was restless and irritable. Naruto had a hard time getting him to stand still for long enough so that he could check his fetlock to see how injured it was, and if it needed further treatment.

Kakashi poked his head over the stable door.

"What's up, Naruto? Make it quick, I have to place the order for this weeks feed."

"Could you check his leg for me? He strained it yesterday when Sasuke was jumping him. It wasn't bad last night, but I thought maybe you'd want to check it."

Kakashi entered the stable and crouched down beside him, quickly and expertly checking the joint. Naruto waited patiently and quietly, knowing that Kakashi was irritable when he was hung over. The only person who didn't go out of their way to please him on such mornings was Iruka. No one took on Iruka lightly, especially if something was your fault. Genma graciously pointed out that Kakashi was no exception, because he was whipped.

Naruto had seen that Kakashi and Iruka were indeed involved in a relationship last night when the two had been sitting in the same armchair and holding each other. Everyone had been focused on the movie they were watching, but Naruto had glanced over at them and had seen Kakashi sucking on Iruka's neck, with his arms wrapped around the younger man's stomach. Iruka's eyes had been closed, his teeth digging into his lower lip, and he had been flushed and struggling to keep quiet.

Naruto had been burning with uncomfortable questions since then, which he hadn't dared to ask anyone. Like, how did two guys have a relationship in the first place? Was it like a guy and a girl being together? Or was it completely different? He knew that he was shamefully ignorant in many respects in regards to relationships and he was just too shy and embarrassed to ask anyone for fear of them asking questions he wasn't willing to answer.

Although he was beginning to accept what he felt for Sasuke, he had no idea what to do with such feelings or what they could lead to. Maybe he should ask Iruka about it. Iruka wouldn't laugh or ask questions. He would try to help Naruto understand and he would be supportive as any parent could be.

And he had no idea that he was becoming close to Sasuke, so maybe he was the best solution to his dilemma.

Kakashi said his name, and Naruto was jerked back to reality unpleasantly. The pale man next to him was frowning at him.

"Sorry?"

"I said that he's fine. Make sure that you walk him out and warm him up properly before he's ridden again and it shouldn't be a problem."

Naruto nodded and silently cursed himself for getting so distracted yet again.

"What's wrong with you today? You're spaced out," Kakashi asked, with a hint of annoyance.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing. I guess I'm just tired," he apologized contritely.

"Hmmm. Don't let it affect your work. We've got a lot to do today."

Kakashi stood and left him abruptly. Naruto stood up and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't let it bother you kitten," Genma winked as he led a horse by Taira's stable. "He's a just being the cranky old bastard that he is."

Naruto smiled at him as he slipped out of Taira's stall to walk beside him.

"I know. Am I the only one who didn't get drunk last night?" he asked.

Genma chuckled ruefully. "Well, you and Kiba and Shika. In fact I don't think I've ever seen you drunk, kitten," Genma said thoughtfully.

Naruto cringed silently beside him. There was a reason for that, and one which he'd vowed to abide by for as long as he could. It was only because many people spilt their deepest secrets when they were drunk, and Naruto's secrets were dark and laced with fear and pain. He had no wish to have anyone find out about them when he was unaware of it. So he studiously avoided drinking to the point of intoxication.

"Anyway, you'd better go and work Ani if you're going to do it today. Kakashi's being anal about getting everything done before five today, and if you're going to exercise him you'll have to do it soon before he gives you something to do." Genma informed him as he led the horse out into the stable yard.

Naruto hurried off to do take his advice. All the arena's were currently in use, even at this early hour (it was just 7.30) and Ani had never worked in an arena with other horses present before, and Naruto was unsure if he was ready to face such an ordeal. Ani could spook easily if he was tense or nervous and Naruto didn't know if he would accept such a situation so abruptly without preparation. If it wasn't so foggy he might have taken him away to a quieter area to work him, but it would be hazardous in such heavy fog.

He set a grooming kit down by the stable door and went to greet Ani briefly, scratching at his favourite spots. Naruto laughed when Ani rubbed his head affectionately against Naruto's shoulder. He staggered back a pace before he regained his balance and pushed Ani's head away, laughing still.

Regretfully, he ended their brief moment of play and grabbed a set of brushes. Working as quickly as was possible around a young horse, he stripped Ani of his stable rugs and began to groom him. The white silken coat beneath the brush shone like pure ivory, glistening and rippling whenever Ani moved. Ani was obviously enjoying the attentions being lavished on his, for his eyelids drooped lazily, and he stood hipshot (1) and leaning into his brushstrokes.

"Naruto."

Surprised, he looked up to see three people looking back at him. Kakashi stood a little to one side, and Sasuke was standing beside a woman with whom he and Itachi bore a striking resemblance to.

It could only be Uchiha Mikoto, Sasuke's mother. She was a stunningly beautiful woman, with long hair which was so black it seemed to have a blue sheen. Sasuke had her dark eyes, and her pale skin which was like the finest porcelain. She stood at medium height with a willowy, sensuous build and an innate grace which anyone of royal blood would envy. She exuded dignity and quiet self assurance, and she inspired respect in all who laid eyes on her. Lady Mikoto was famous for her manners and her kind character. She treated all she met like an equal, and that was what made so well liked among the staff, as well as the social circles the Uchihas kept company with.

Naruto had heard things about her from Genma and Raidou and Kakashi, who had all met her before, but he had never met her in person. Strangely enough, he wasn't intimidated in the slightest by her, as he had been with all the Uchiha males that he had met, and this was something of a relief to him.

She wore her hair half up, half down, with very little make up, simple pearl earrings, a white business woman's shirt and an ankle length navy blue skirt and she was everything and nothing that he had expected a lady of rank to be like.

Naruto stood at almost the same height as Lady Mikoto and he met her eyes briefly, which were alight with the same sharp intelligence which she seemed to have passed down to her sons.

Sasuke towered over them both by several inches and he was watching the two of them very closely.

He quickly left the stall to stand before them both, unsure of what to say or do next, but Kakashi solved the problem for him.

"Naruto, this is Lady Mikoto. Lady Mikoto, this is Uzumaki Naruto."

Still confused and surprised, he opened his mouth to reply somehow, but Lady Mikoto beat him to it.

"Uzumaki-san, I've heard good things about you. It's nice to finally meet you at last," Lady Mikoto said with a warm smile.

Naruto relaxed slightly as it became evident that he wasn't in trouble of any kind and he smiled back, albeit a little shyly.

"Thank you, Mikoto-sama. It's nice to meet you too." he replied, watching as she turned her lovely eyes to Ani.

"I bought her to see Ani, Naruto," Sasuke said to him.

"Oh.

"Well I'll leave you to it then, Lady Mikoto," Kakashi said, bowing respectfully before leaving.

Naruto silently cursed him for dumping such a surprise situation on him and deserting.

"He certainly is beautiful. He is everything you said he was Sasuke."

"I thought you might like him, Mother."

Naruto watched the two quietly, noting that, despite his detached tone and blank eyes, he remained relaxed and comfortable around his mother. He also noted the affectionate way in which they addressed each other. Wherever the Uchiha heirs got their cold superiority from, it wasn't her. And she didn't seem like the type to encourage that sort of thing in her sons, so Naruto concluded that maybe it was their father that did so.

"Would you mind bringing him out for me Uzumaki-san?"

"Of course not, Mikoto-sama." he hesitated for a moment, glancing at Sasuke who was watching him steadily. "P-please call me Naruto."

She smiled at him once more, and nodded her agreement. He went in and quickly haltered Ani before he led him out. Ani followed him eagerly, regarding the scene with pricked ears and alert eyes.

"How old is he Naruto?" Lady Mikoto asked softly as she approached Ani and let him smell her hands before she laid them on his face.

"Almost four now, Mikoto-sama."

"And you're the one who trains him?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Mother's looking for a new pleasure riding horse," Sasuke said to him. "She hasn't been able to ride a lot during the last few years because she's been travelling."

Naruto nodded, uncertain now, but knowing what he wanted to say.

"Lady Mikoto, if I may..."he began hesitantly.

"Go ahead Naruto-san. I'd value you opinion."

"Anikhetos is a sweet natured horse, and he has a wonderful character, but he's still young and untrained in dressage and jumping. I'm not sure if he's ready yet..."

"But with work and time he'll make a good riding horse?" she asked as she smoothed a hand down Ani's neck and ran critical eyes over his shoulders and back.

"Definitely, ma'am. But at the moment..."

"Sasuke will help with that," Lady Mikoto interrupted calmly.

"What?" Sasuke asked, obviously surprised. He'd been watching Naruto before but when Lady Mikoto made that statement, his eyes shot to rest on his mother, who smiled at him gently.

"Yes. I want you to work with Naruto and help to train him. You didn't expect to spend your break doing absolutely nothing but going out with your friends did you?"

"No, but that's beside the point..."Sasuke began.

"You don't have a problem with Naruto then, do you?"

Naruto waited with baited breath to hear the answer to that question. Part of him wished he could sink back unnoticed to blend with the wall, but the other part wanted to stay and witness the scene unfolding before his eyes. He never thought he'd be witness to such honest emotions between Lady Mikoto and her son, and the love he saw that existed between them both made him ache and long to be with his father once more. He'd forgotten what families were like, but to be reminded of it by two Uchiha's was very unexpected.

Sasuke snorted inelegantly. "Of course I don't."

A wave of relief swept through Naruto when Sasuke said that with such conviction, and a pleasant warmth spread throughout his body. He felt for sure that he was flushing, but there was little he could do about that. He was still uncomfortable about being the topic of their conversation, but he didn't mind all that much now that he knew nothing was wrong.

"Then what's the problem?" Lady Mikoto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Mother, Naruto is doing well without me. He doesn't need my help," Sasuke explained with a bite of impatience. "Besides, he's busy enough without me hanging around."

"All I'm asking is that you keep an eye on how it's progressing and update me every once in awhile. That's all." she said, with an indulgent smile for her son.

Naruto shifted uneasily, wondering if Sasuke was going to resent being forced to spend time with him. He watched as Ani lowered his head to scratch at his foreleg with his nose, and then began to sniff the ground. When he went to move away, Naruto gathered the lead rope and pulled his head up, his mind refusing to stop wondering what would happen if Sasuke really did mind working with Naruto.

"Fine," Sasuke sighed

Lady Mikoto reached up and patted his cheek with a light laugh.

"Now Sasuke, don't take on so. I'm going to find Hatake-san. You help Naruto here. I'll be back shortly."

Sasuke and Naruto stood in silence for a moment after she left.

"Sorry I sprung that on you," Sasuke said after a moment of thoughtful silence. "I would've given you some warning but..."

"It's okay," Naruto said quickly. "I don't mind."

He paused for a moment. "Your mother is a lovely lady."

Sasuke's eyes softened. "Yes she is, isn't she?" he looked at Naruto sideways. "Come on, I'll help you saddle him."

Naruto retied Ani up and hurried off to fetch his tack. When he returned Sasuke was picking out Ani's hooves with a hoof pick.

"He'll need to be shod soon, I think," Sasuke commented as Naruto threw the saddle over the stable door and draped the saddled clothes over it.

"I was thinking about getting it done soon. I'll talk to Kakashi about it tomorrow."

Sasuke grabbed a saddle cloth and threw it over Ani's back, and Naruto then helped him to settle the saddle in place.

"I hope it doesn't bother you," Naruto said softly, swallowing the lump of nervousness in his throat.

Sasuke frowned as he fastened the chest plate (2) to the saddle.

"What?"

"I hope you don't mind working with me. I mean, you don't need to if you don't want to. I can manage on my own."

"Its fine. Besides, I'd like to. It'll be interesting," he glanced at Naruto, and Naruto averted his gaze quickly. "Besides, it gives me a reason to get away from Ino for a bit. She can be a little...overbearing at times."

Naruto wasn't sure what to say to that so he nodded and stayed quiet, focusing instead on bridling Ani. It was no easy feat, because it had gotten into Ani's head that Naruto was there to play, and he was constantly nuzzling and nudging him, lowering his head to sniff out treats. Naruto was constantly pulling his head down or up, trying to get him to stay still for long enough to get the bridle on. Nevertheless, he couldn't quite suppress the smile that was threatening to break out at Ani's antics.

"How's Taira this morning? "Sasuke asked.

"Kakashi thinks that he'll be fine as long as he's warmed up properly. I'll walk him out a little later, but if I were you I wouldn't ride him for today, just to be safe."

Realizing his mistake, his eyes shot up to meet Sasuke's. "I'm sorry..."

Sasuke frowned again slightly and stepped back from Ani, frowning as he inspected the tightness of the girth.

"You don't have to be afraid of sharing your opinions with me, Naruto. I'm not going to bite your head off if you do."

"Oh. It's just..."

"What?"

"I don't want to get you in trouble with...anyone. For being so nice to me," Naruto stammered, struggling to control the furious blush that had bloomed on his cheeks.

"My father, you mean?"

Naruto nodded, and looked down at his hands, hating reminding Sasuke of his strained relationship with his father. Warm fingers lifted his chin, and he gasped in shock, his eyes as wide as a kitten's. Sasuke forced him to look into his eyes.

"You don't need to fear my father. He's not around. And besides, I won't let anything happen to you because of me," Sasuke murmured as his eyes ran over Naruto's face. After a moment, his hand dropped onto Naruto's shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Come on. Mother wants to watch you ride Ani..."

"Oi, Naruto! Kakashi wants you to saddle up Mika. We're going out on one of the trails," Kiba called out as he passed Naruto turning off a tap. He'd just finished his afternoon work of cleaning the stables allocated to him and refilling the empty and scrubbed out water troughs of each. Sasuke and Lady Mikoto had left hours ago, and Naruto was still having trouble getting his thoughts away from the unexpectedly warm relationship between Sasuke and his mother. Maybe getting out in the fresh air would solve the problem.

"Ten minutes!" Kiba said as he disappeared into the other stable block.

He grabbed a grooming kit and Mika's tack. They'd been flat out for the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon too, exercising the horses in the arena's and trying to get all the work done before it started to rain. The mist had lifted awhile ago, only to reveal that the heavy clouds of last night had not disappeared. It would be a rush to fit the ride in before it began tipping down.

Not to mention that Mika was a temperamental and highly spirited little mare who rivalled Taira for difficulty when it came to handling. Kakashi didn't let Sakura or Tenten or Kiba ride her because out of all of them, they were the riders with the least experience, and Shikamaru refused to, claiming that she was too much trouble for him to handle. The sorrel mare had taken a disliking to Genma for some reason, so it was usually Raidou that rode her. And seeing as Kakashi usually sent only the younger of the stable hands out on the trails to exercise horses, Raidou wasn't going.

Mika was a beautiful mare, but she required an experienced rider because she had a sensitive mouth and required the use of a lot of leg and seat to get her going. She could be placid enough in her stall but once saddled and with a rider on her back, she turned into a raging ball of energy and tension, ready to explode at the slightest provocation.

Naruto made quick work of saddling her. As a precaution, he wrapped her lower legs in exercise bandages in case she decided to misbehave during the ride and injure herself somehow, and he pulled on a rain jacket in case the heavens opened when they were out.

"Naruto, you ready yet?" Tenten called from the stable yard.

"I'm coming."

He led Mika out of the stall and joined the other four who were mounted and waiting for him. Naruto set his foot in the stirrup after passing the reins over her head and swung himself into the saddle, immediately gathering the reins and pulling Mika to a halt as she surged forward.

"Keep that little monster away from me, Naruto," Kiba warned, eying the mare with misgivings. "She hates me."

"It's not hard to do," Sakura muttered to herself.

Kiba glared at her and she feigned innocence, looking the other way and struggling to smother her giggle.

"C'mon, lets go. I'd like to get this over with before it rains," Shikamaru said grouchily.

"Would it kill you to enjoy yourself for once?" Tenten demanded as they moved off.

Sakura and Naruto were in the lead, with the other three a little ways behind.

"I do. I just so happen to not like rain," Shikamaru replied.

Naruto smiled as he listened to them arguing. Whatever issue or crisis he was dealing with in his life, he could always rely on things to remain the same with his friends.

The horses were energetic and lively, so as soon as they reached the trees, they urged their horses into a brisk trot.

The forest was bursting with lush green growth, and Naruto managed to appreciate the scenery while keeping an eye on what Mika was doing at the same time. The trails were undisturbed and hard packed from the rain. The trail they were following took them around the edge of the vast Uchiha property, crossing several small streams and cutting through quiet glades and crofts and winding it's way through the tall trunks of ancient trees. The best time to ride the trails was in autumn, or spring, when early morning fog hung over the ground, painting a magical and captivating picture. It was one of the most peaceful times he could think of, and he didn't mind enduring a bit of cold just to drink in the serenity the early morning forest granted him. He found himself longing for those mornings to return once more, because he desperately needed to peace that came along with them with all turmoil he was experiencing since Sasuke had returned

But as the wind whistled through his hair and ears, Naruto felt some of the tension that he's been carrying dissolve and his spirits lift. Everything was right, and nothing mattered except himself and the warm, living and breathing animal underneath him. He was with friends, and there was the exciting feeling of a storm approaching in the air.

Sometimes things got so complicated and twisted in his mind that he couldn't think properly, and when it felt like he was going to snap or break down from confusion and fear, all it took was something like this to remind him of how simple things actually were. Nothing had to be as complicated as it seemed. All that really mattered was what he felt and what was before his eyes. Everything else was secondary. Sometimes he forgot that in all the hustle and bustle of daily life, and all he needed was something or someone to remind him of the realities that surrounded him. Instead of getting stuck within his head and being so scared all the time, he needed to focus on what was going on around him.

On the last stretch of their ride it began to rain, small and scattered drops.

"Come on! Let's get back before it gets worse!" Sakura cried.

"What's the rush? A little water never hurt any one," Kiba protested from behind her.

"If you had any idea how long it took me to blow-dry my hair this morning you wouldn't be saying that," Tenten grumbled.

"I'll race you," Sakura spoke with a stroke of genius.

"You're on."

As one, they spurred their mounts into a gallop and thundered down the trail and out of the trees. The roaring wind and the drumming of hooves on the earth was the only sound in his ears, and exhilaration flooded through his system as he urged Mika forward. Light-footed and as fleet as a deer, she pulled out to the front and took the lead, stretching out completely. Naruto crouched low over her neck and gave her a loose rein, letting her go as fast as she wanted to. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sakura gaining on him to his left, and he turned his head momentarily to grin at her. Her dancing green eyes caught his and they both laughed out loud as the rain began to pour down.

Soon they were flying up the road towards the stable complex and they were forced to slow down. Mika fought him for her head, wanting to keep running and after a brief struggle, she grudgingly dropped back into a canter then a trot as they entered the stable yard. Genma and Raidou dashed out into the downpour to help them get the horses into the shelter of the stables.

Mika, however, had other ideas and she refused to stand still long enough for him to dismount. She danced and skittered with her head held high until they were the only ones left in the heavy rain.

Eventually, Kakashi ran out and managed to grab her bridle, forcing her to stay still so Naruto could jump down and take her from kakashi.

"Thanks," he gasped as they ran for cover.

"No problem," Kakashi waved it aside. "Get her unsaddled and dried then go and get changed. You're wetter than the rest."

Naruto nodded and walked Mika back to her stall. The saddle was relatively dry, seeing as he'd been sitting on it, but the leather bridle was soaked. He dragged the saddle off Mika's back and set it aside before using a sweat scraper to remove the water from her coat. He unwound the mud splattered exercise bandages before using dry towels to rub her legs down, and throwing two warm rugs over her steaming body to make sure she kept warm.

The late afternoon was so dark that the lights had been turned on. Kakashi, Genma and Raidou had done the afternoon feed already, so Naruto dried off the tack and put it away before he headed towards a hot shower and a warm meal to help ward off the chill of the afternoon.

After dinner that night, Naruto curled up in bed to read one of the books that Sasuke had lent him. The sounds from the television drifted faintly through his closed door and outside the rain was still drumming down steadily. It was freezing outside, but he was toasty warm under his blankets, and his room was lit by the golden glow of his lamps.

There was a knock on his door.

"It's Sakura. I've bought hot chocolate."

"Come in," Naruto called as he set the book aside and sat up. She opened the door and closed it carefully behind her, expertly balancing two mugs of steaming hot chocolate as she did so.

He scooted over closer to the wall to make room for her when she approached the bed and set the mugs down. She sat next to him and slid under the blankets, pulling them over her legs and she settling against his side.

"Burrrr! It's so cold. I hate this weather!" She said as she handed him his mug. "I thought you could use some company, being holed up in your room like this."

"Thanks Sakura," he said gratefully as before taking a sip. "As usual your hot chocolate is delicious."

"Flatterer. The horse whisperers on TV. I thought we could watch it together," she offered with a bright smile.

"Sounds like a plan," Naruto agreed as he reached for the remote control and turned on his television set.

Naruto loved it when Sakura or Tenten or Genma came and kept him company before they all went to bed. Sometimes he and Sakura would read together, or he'd talk with Tenten for while. Or they'd watch movies together until they fell asleep.

As they watched the Horse Whisperer, Naruto's mind inevitably turned to Sasuke. He knew that his feelings went deeper than mere attraction to the slightly older Uchiha, and although he couldn't quite put a name to it yet, he knew that it wasn't something that could be ignored for long. It was all so new and strange to him, but it didn't unsettle him half as much as he'd expected it would, because it felt...right. Natural in a way, and although he didn't understand why, it didn't seem all that important.

Naruto glanced at Sakura, whose eyes were glued to the screen, and he worried his lip uncertainly. He knew that if Sakura learned of Naruto's feelings, it would cause problems of some sort and there was no way he wanted to put their friendship in jeopardy. Sakura too, had feelings for Sasuke, and if nothing else, Naruto respected and understood that.

But the real question was, was he strong enough to put some distance between Sasuke and himself? Could he resist the feelings he had for him and deny the growing attraction to him in order to save his friendship with Sakura? Was he willing to pass up a chance at love for the sake of sparing a friends feelings? Naruto wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to grasp something that he could call his own and cling onto it for all he was worth but he just couldn't bring himself to. He didn't have it in him to ignore the needs of others, especially someone he cared about.

But he wanted Sasuke so badly! He wanted him more than he'd wanted anything before. And he was burning to know what it was like to feel his touch, and to touch that perfect skin in return, to worship him in any way he could.

He had no answers to all the questions that spun around in his head, but he knew he needed to come to a conclusion soon, so he could do something about it before it was too late, before he caused irreversible damage to some one else, or himself.

Maybe Iruka could satisfy some of his curiosity. He reminded himself that he needed to have that talk with Iruka tomorrow, before forcing his attention back to the movie, which was already half finished. Beside him, Sakura remained engrossed, unaware of the treacherous nature of his thoughts.

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1)Hipshot- the official definition of hipshot is 'having the hip dislocated; hence, having one hip lower than the other' This doesn't mean that Ani's hip is dislocated! Just that he's resting one of his back legs, and all the weight is distributed to the other three legs. Make sense? Good!

2)Chest Plate- (also known as a breast plate) a piece of tack with straps that attach to the front of the saddle, run down over the horses shoulders and between their front legs to attach to the girth. These are intended to stop a saddle from moving backwards when a horse is being ridden.

Another chapter done, and in much less time than the last! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions, you know how to find me!

Leave a review on your way out people, and I may just love you forever!

Ja Ne!


	13. Interlude

**Disclaimer: **_Characters and concepts belong to their rightful owner. _

**Warnings: **_Subjects which could offend, yaoi/shounen ai, language._

**A/N: _This is a short interlude, told from Iruka's point of view. Although it is related to the story, it has nothing to do with the main storyline. I thought that you all might like something a little different. Also, this interlude should give you some idea of how Naruto's character is perceived by other characters of the story. I hope you enjoy this, and feel free to leave any feed back._**

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_Interlude: Awkward  
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Iruka yawned and took another sip of hot coffee. The place was quiet- too quiet, some might think, but that didn't bother him as much as it did others. He needed to peace that early morning brought with it if he had any hope of surviving in his line of work. While some might not think it, running a household took a lot of work and organization, and having to co-ordinate the working schedules of not only himself, but all the household employees as well was something that wasn't easily achieved.

Compared to the hard manual labour and hectic lifestyle of those that worked down in the stables, his job rather paled in comparison. But that didn't mean that he was able to take it easy. There was always something else to do in the mansion, and it sometimes meant forgoing to pleasure of his lovers company at times, and while that saddened him a little, it also made him look forward to his company all the more.

Iruka smiled as he let his damp towel drop so he could pull on a pair of trousers. Kakashi was everything he'd ever wanted in a partner, even if he did lack a few of the more desirable qualities. Punctuality would be one, Iruka wrinkled his nose, but smiled. What he lacked in organization, Kakashi made up for with dedication and passion. Whether it came to his work at the stables or Iruka, Kakashi always worked hard, and looked after his own.

That wasn't to say that they didn't have problems. Every couple had problems, it wasn't something that could ever be avoided. What really mattered though, was the fact that Iruka was happy. Kakashi made him happy. He was happy with his work, and his personal life (well, most aspects of it, anyway) and there wasn't much more he could ask for.

He'd slept well last night, despite Kakashi's absence, and he was rested and ready to begin work again. No one else was about yet, and he took a moment to enjoy early morning out of his bedroom window. The early winter weather was particularly miserable this year, rainy and cold, but it did little to dampen the spirits of those who worked at the Uchiha Mansion. Despite the rain and the bitter cold, everyone worked their hardest and managed to have fun at the same time. He'd heard about some particularly vigorous mud fights down at the stables, and the pranks that were pulled on unsuspecting comrades. Of which Naruto was often a part, and Iruka was glad. That boy needed some laughter and light heartedness in his life, and he knew that he'd find plenty of it amongst Kakashi's boisterous lot.

A knock on his bedroom door startled Iruka out of his thinking, and for a moment he stared dumbly at the door. It couldn't be Kakashi could it? What would he be doing out of bed this early?

There was another soft knock on his door, and with a frown, he strode across to the door and opened it, ready to begin questioning Kakashi on his unusual early morning appearance.

Instead he stood facing Naruto, who looked at him strangely for a split second before he looked down at his feet with a light blush colouring his cheeks.

"Naruto?" Iruka asked, finding his voice at last. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I just wondered if we could...talk for a few minutes. You're not busy are you?"

Even if he had been, he would have spared a few minutes for the quiet nineteen year old.

"No I'm not. Come in, I'll get you something to drink." Iruka told him, standing back from the door to admit the slight blonde.

Naruto stepped carefully past him, and shook his head.

"It's okay, I've already had breakfast."

Iruka closed the door and watched as Naruto headed for one of his armchairs and seated himself on the edge of it, seemingly nervous.

It was unusual for Naruto to turn up at Iruka's place in the mornings. He had grown used to Naruto, and he was a creature of habit and routine, and it was strange for him to break them. Breaking his routines made Naruto nervous and insecure, and it was so unlike him to do so that Iruka was confused and shocked. It didn't help that he'd been up for less than half an hour, and that his brain was barely functioning.

"So what's up? Has something happened?" Iruka asked as he pulled a shirt over his head.

He frowned as he subtly eyed Naruto. Something was up. Naruto usually relaxed when he was around him, but now he seemed tense and unsure, fiddling with his clothing and unable to make eye contact with him for longer than a few seconds at a time. Whatever surprise he had in store, it couldn't be good. It never was when it came to Naruto, and whenever he had something to reveal, it was almost always bad. If anyone had been dealt a crueller hand of fate than Naruto had, then Iruka would be surprised to hear about it.

When he'd first set eyes on Naruto, he'd known immediately that something wasn't right with him. It's the eyes, he thought to himself as he watched Naruto fidget. Those impossibly blue eyes harboured secrets that Iruka dared not delve into. Shadows and secrets and a pain that would likely never heal, even with all the time on earth. Haunted eyes they were, and he had never seen eyes like Naruto's before.

"No, nothings happened. I just need...to talk to you about something is all," Naruto practically whispered, his blush deepening by several shades.

Iruka's heart went out to him. He'd always had a soft spot for Naruto, and he loved him like his own family. Whatever it was, he could handle it. He had always managed in the past, even when he'd found out about Naruto's addiction to hurting himself, and his repeated suicide attempts. Even when he'd sat on the very couch he was currently on and had broken down in Iruka's arms and had revealed the horrible events of his past, Iruka had coped and helped him to start to sort though his deep rooted issues. Never had he met someone who had as many problems as Naruto, and those problems weren't for anyone with a weak stomach.

He went over and sat on the coffee table facing Naruto and took his hands, squeezing and stroking them gently.

"I take it that it's something that you're not comfortable talking about then?" Iruka prompted with a smile.

Naruto returned the smiled weakly, finally raising his eyes to Iruka's.

"That obvious, huh?"

"Just a little. Now why don't you tell me what's bothering you and we'll see if we can't come to some sort of solution."

Naruto released a little sigh and shifted on his chair, looking down once more.

"Well, I was just...I saw..."

"You saw..."

Naruto sighed again. "The other night...you and Kakashi..."

Confused, Iruka sat back and frowned at Naruto's bent head. Was that what was bothering him? Did he dislike the idea of Kakashi and himself being lovers? He hadn't even been aware that Naruto had known, for both he and Kakashi had agreed to be discreet about the status of their relationship. In fact, he shouldn't have been surprised, because Naruto was unusually adept and accurate with his observations.

"You're...together with him, right?" Naruto asked shyly, looking back up at him again.

"Yeah. We're lovers, if that's what you mean" Iruka answered, struggling to keep his voice and face passive and neutral. The slightest sign of negative emotion could scare Naruto off like a rabbit. If there was one thing Naruto excelled at , it was reading people and their emotions and if there was one sure-fire way to gain Naruto's trust, it was to hide any negative thoughts and emotions or anger as best you could. Naruto hated fighting, and shouting. Those things usually had him running for the hills in a flash. And while it had taken Iruka awhile to get a handle on controlling his emotions, he had managed it, for Naruto.

It seemed that he was successful, because Naruto seemed to gain a little confidence.

"I was just wondering...how two guys...can be together." Naruto stammered.

Iruka was floored. For a moment he just sat there, with his mouth hanging open and staring at Naruto as if he'd just turned green and sprouted wings. His mind struggled to comprehend the words that had emerged from Naruto's mouth, and for a good minute he couldn't think of a suitable answer for him.

"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have asked," Naruto said quickly as he stood up and quickly headed for the door.

Realizing that he'd just succeeded in driving Naruto away and humiliating him (which was something he had sworn never to do) Iruka shot to his feet, his mind restarting in an instant.

"No, wait!" he called.

Naruto froze with his hand on the door handle, and he half turned, with the expression of a deer caught in the headlights written on his face.

"Wait. I'm sorry, Naruto. You caught me off guard there for a moment. Come and sit back down, and we'll talk about this properly."

For a moment, Naruto hesitated before making up his mind and making his way back to his previous seat.

Iruka sat down when he did, and studied the appealing young man before him. While Naruto didn't quite fit into the "pretty boy" category, and while he wasn't quite handsome in a masculine way, Naruto was definitely easy on the eyes. His fine hair was soft and gleaned like polished gold, or summer sunlight. Golden skin complimented his fair hair, a result of his work out doors. It was his eyes that caught people, and that was where his personality shone through. Whilst to some it might appear that his emotions were written for all to see on his face, there was a lot that Naruto managed to hide successfully from everyone, and that had initially surprised Iruka.

Naruto possessed a slender build, and whilst he wasn't particularly short, he wasn't tall either. He was the kind of person that could slip unnoticed through a crowd.

Iruka was perhaps the only one who saw the person Naruto should be. The person he could be, if he could just let go of the past. He was the only one who saw that the person Naruto was, wasn't the person he had once been.

Once, a long time ago, Naruto had been loud and bright and a person who could captivate the world with his disarming smile. Once, Iruka reminded himself. He'd seen pictures of Naruto's childhood, and he mourned secretly, in the dead of the night, for the child that Naruto had been. That person had died years ago, and Iruka would have given his life to see him return once more. But he never would, and that was, perhaps, the saddest thing of all amongst the tragedies that made up Naruto's life.

Iruka shook himself free of his introspection, and refocused on Naruto's anxious face.

"Now, let's narrow this down a little shall we? Why don't you tell me what it is that you want answered, and I'll try to the best of my ability."

Naruto nodded, and looked at the scruffy covering of the chairs arm.

"I guess what I'm asking is...how do two guys have...s-sex." Naruto's blush returned full force, and Iruka tried his best not to stare at Naruto. He took a deep breath and tried to push his shock aside for the time being so he could sort his thoughts out.

"Is there any reason why you want to know this now?" Iruka asked, as gently as he could, for he knew that Naruto was embarrassed and uncomfortable with the subject. He suspected that Naruto was a virgin, and although there was nothing wrong with that at all, it was understandable why he was only just starting to ask questions about the topic. After having a traumatized teenage hood, there hadn't been much room for self discovery of any sort.

Naruto was practically squirming in his seat. "Well, it's just..."

"You think you might be...gay?" Iruka guessed.

"M-maybe..."

"Okay well, what is it that you wish to know?"

"Is it...normal? As in, is it the same as a guy and a girl being together?"

"Normal...I'd say it was. It doesn't matter who you love, whether they be male or female. Just that the love exists. Love doesn't discriminate. It's perfectly fine for two guys to love each other, and to be together. And no, I wouldn't say that it's the same as a guy and a girl being together. In the actual act of sex, some of the same principles apply, but not all of them." Iruka explained.

"What kind of principles?"

"The male body isn't designed to accommodate...well, lets just say that the act of penetration isn't something that the male body was made to deal with. So there are some things that need to be done to make sex more comfortable, and enjoyable."

"Would you...would you mind telling me?"

The fact that Naruto had come to him for answers, and the fact that he was so innocently naive, touched Iruka, and he moved to sit beside him on the arm chair.

"Well, to begin with..."

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I thought I'd forgoe all the technical details of sex between guys. Well, the truth is that i couldn't really think of a way to put it that wouldn't sound pathetic and boring. So i hope you all enjoyed this and rest assured that another update is on the way. Thanks for reading! 


	14. Afloat

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters or the concepts of Naruto. They belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings: **Angst, swearing, shounen ai. Don't like, don't read.

Chapter 13: _Afloat_

Time flew by in a blurring of busy days, and Naruto was happiest when he was busy. He spent the time juggling his normal work, attending Taira and training Ani. Sasuke was there all the time, either riding Taira or helping Naruto train Ani. Apart from that, they had they ran into each other in the evenings up at the mansions sometimes, and that was when Naruto liked Sasuke the best. When they were alone, with no one else around. Sasuke was more open and relaxed, and he smiled more.

Naruto loved it when he made Sasuke smile. It made him feel like he was special. He was the only one who could make Sasuke smile, and when those enchanting smiles were directed at him, he felt like he and Sasuke were the only ones in the world. At those times, Naruto felt all his troubles ease. There was no need to worry about hurting Sakura, or what anyone else would think. Not when Sasuke smiled at him.

Naruto felt like the day wasn't complete unless he saw Sasuke. He always felt a little sad and disappointed if he wasn't able to drink in the sight of Sasuke's face, or wallow in the soothing music that was his voice.

Of course, Sasuke wasn't always alone when he was around. More often than not Neji and Ino were with him, but Sasuke always managed to have a few words with him in private before he was called away by an impatient Ino, or ambushed by a blushing Sakura, or called away by Kakashi to discuss something.

But there had been an odd feeling in the air during the past few days. Sort of like the calm that came before a terrible storm. Kakashi had been bad tempered and irritable, probably because it was time for him to do the accounts and update the stock items that they had, and everyone knew that he hated doing that particular job. He hated preparing the finance reports that were required of him every three months, and the only thing that could placate him was Iruka.

Shikamaru and Tenten were arguing constantly, and the rest of them had given up on trying to calm things down between them. Instead, they all just left them to it. Sakura was getting rather annoyed with all the on edge behaviour and Kiba was the one who was laughing at it all. Raidou kept to himself, content just to wait it out, and Genma was distracted about something which he hadn't shared with anyone.

Naruto was as confused as ever about Sasuke. Not only that but he was beginning to worry about the odd looks that Neji had been directing at him occasionally, with those strange, milky eyes of his. He wasn't sure what was going on, but it wasn't bothering him as much as it should have and that in itself was odd.

Saturday dawned swiftly, and Naruto braced himself for yet another busy day. Kakashi had ordered a truck load of hay and bags of grain to be delivered, which meant a lot of physical work in addition to their usual work. Kakashi was already in a steely mood, and he'd be on the lookout for mistakes and slacking off so everyone was diligent with what they were doing, and were quick to follow orders.

Naruto had Ani lunged and exercised by the time seven rolled around, and he hurried to turn him out in the field with two other horses, pausing only long enough to make sure the gate was closed and secured. When he returned to the stables, the truck had pulled up, and Kakashi already had Raidou and Shikamaru unloading the hay and Naruto hurried over to help. It wasn't long before he was covered in sweat and grimy with dirt, but he worked on, listening to Shikamaru grumble and Raidou answer cheerfully.

Around midmorning, a dark blue convertible pulled up by the outdoor arena, and Sasuke and Neji got out. Sasuke approached him, leaving Neji leaning against the car. Naruto wiped his sweaty forehead on his forearm and set down the hay bale he'd been lifting.

"Hey Naruto. I can't stay long, but I wanted to know if you could ride Taira for me today. I have to go and meet Itachi in the city for a business lunch and I won't be back until tonight," Sasuke told him, looking displeased at the idea.

"Sure, it's no problem," Naruto replied, horribly aware of how disgusting he must look and smell. "I was wondering..."

"About the farrier? I was going to have a word with Kakashi now. Where is he?" Sauske asked, looking around.

"He should be in the storage shed." Naruto said, turning to look for Kakashi and not finding him.

"Thanks. I'll be back in a minute."

He hurried away, and Naruto turned around in time to catch the guarded look that Neji was shooting him, and flushing uncomfortably, he returned to his work. He was feeling rather confused and conflicted, pleased that he had seen Sasuke and upset about the look that Neji had given him. It had to mean something didn't it? Whatever was on the aloof man's mind, Naruto didn't have a clue what it was, nor an idea of how to deal with him.

"You got the wheelbarrow Naruto?" Raidou called from inside the truck.

"Yeah, I got it," he replied slowly, glancing quickly at Neji again before he grabbed the wheelbarrow stacked him with hay bales and headed towards the storage shed. Sasuke was talking to Kakashi off to one side, and Naruto spared them a glance before wheeling the barrow over to where Kiba and Sakura were waiting for him. Taking the first bale of hay down off his load, he handed it off to Kiba, who in turn passed it to Sakura, who stood half way up the hales which were already stacked in the corner of the shed.. Sakura pushed the bale into place and waited for the next one, her eyes drifting every now and then to watch Sasuke talking to Kakashi.

Naruto was lifting the last bale when Sasuke approached.

"I've got to go soon. If you could take Taira through that dressage test I showed you the other day I would appreciate it. If you have time take him over the jumps as well. Be careful, he tends to get a little over excited."

Naruto smiled at him. "I know. I helped you the other day remember?"

"Right. Sorry, I forgot. Got a lot on my mind, you know?" Sasuke smiled slightly at him, but he seemed tense and distracted.

"Don't worry. I'll get it done."

"Thanks Naruto. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Naruto nodded, and turned back to work as Sasuke left, only to find Kiba and Sakura staring at him.

"What?"

"I can't believe..."Kiba began, shocked. "How is it that you're actually getting along with Sasuke- bastard?"

Naruto shrugged awkwardly, embarrassed and dreading Sakura's reaction. "I've just been helping him with Taira, and he'd been helping me with Ani."

"Why?" Kiba asked, still flabbergasted.

"I think Lady Uchiha wants to have Ani as her riding horse once he's trained. She asked Sasuke to oversee his training."

"But he's a Uchiha! He was talking like a...like a normal person does!"

Naruto frowned slightly as he handed the hay to him. "He's still a person. He knows a lot about horses. That's all."

He glanced up at Sakura, who was watching him with a strange look on her face.

"It's nothing guys."

"If you say so," Kiba shrugged dubiously.

"He does, Kiba! So let it drop. If he says its nothing then it's nothing," Sakura snapped.

"Ok, ok, whatever. It's weird, that's all I was saying," Kiba grumbled.

"Keep your opinions to yourself until you've finished your work. All of you," Kakashi said sharply, from where he stood across the shed.

Kiba continued to grumble under his breath, Sakura scowled at him and Naruto just picked up the wheel barrow to go and collect another load of hay. But not before he caught the warning look that Kakashi sent his way.

It was an amazing feeling sitting astride Taira and being able to look down on everything. It wasn't as if he'd never ridden large horses before, but Taira was something special. He had an essence of wildness and raw power, whilst still having that refined elegance and grace which all horses possessed, and perhaps it was that quality that set Taira apart from other horses that Naruto had worked with. It was an entirely different experience. The ground seemed such a long way off, and for a moment it occurred to Naruto that if he were to fall off at speed, he could get seriously hurt. Which in turn led him to wonder how many times Sasuke had fallen off, and whether or not he'd been badly injured. Stubbornly pushing such thoughts away , he concentrated on what he was doing.

Taira felt like a time bomb waiting to explode. Every movement he made beneath Naruto just screamed with energy. To make a potentially disastrous situation worse, he was hyper sensitive to every movement Naruto made and he responded accordingly. The huge horse seemed to know that he had a smaller, lighter and perhaps more importantly, a stranger on his back, and he promptly set about trying all of his tricks on him. If he hadn't seen Sasuke handle Taira when he was in such a mood, then he would have been slightly apprehensive about dealing with Taira.

Taira fought him every inch of the way, and Naruto was forced to strengthen his will, and refuse to let Taira win. It meant he had to repeat some movements of the dressage test they were working on several times before Taira unwillingly did as he asked.

Naruto wondered how Sasuke made it look so easy when he rode Taira. He'd watched them work several times, and Taira usually performed flawlessly. He put it down to him being an unfamiliar rider. Although he was definitely shorter than Sasuke, and although Sasuke was probably a better rider than he was, that didn't mean that he was about to give in and admit defeat. After an exhausting hour of repeated attempts, they managed to complete the test satisfactorily, if not perfectly, and Naruto repeated it once just to make sure.

Sweating and triumphant, he slowed Taira to a walk then a halt, and patted the dark neck with a smile.

"You sure like to make things difficult, don't you?" He said to the horse. "But you're definitely worth the effort."

The dark horse nodded his head impatiently, and he laughed as Taira began to chomp at his bit.

"You know it too, don't you?"

He shifted in the saddle, feeling his muscles ache pleasantly. It was a good thing he'd worn riding gloves or his fingers would have been rubbed raw. Taira had a tendency to pull heavily on the bit, and as a result, Naruto's arms were burning with exertion.

"Naruto, you in here?" Kakashi called as he entered the shelter or the arena.

He turned Taira wand nudged him to walk onwards and smiled at the pale man as he approached.

"You look tired. Gave you a run for your money did he?" Kakashi asked with a smile.

"Yeah. But he settled down after awhile," he answered as he halted Taira before Kakashi, who grasped the reins behind Taira's chin as he looked up at Naruto.

"I'm not sure I like you riding this particular beast."

"I've ridden lots of difficult horses before."

"Yeah but this one is a lot bigger than the others, and he has a bit of a mean streak," Kakashi replied. "And you're probably not strong enough to handle him if he gets spooked."

Naruto felt a flare of defensive anger, but he quelled it before it got out of hand.

"He's not mean, just a bit stubborn," he protested. "I can handle him well enough."

"I don't doubt your skills Naruto, nor am I questioning your abilities, it's just..."

"Don't worry about me, Kakshi," Naruto smiled. "And let me do my job. I can handle it."

"This isn't part of your job though. Taira is Sasuke's horse, and you're only supposed to be looking after him. I don't like you riding him."

"It's only a favour to Sasuke, Kashi. It probably won't happen again," Naruto shifted in the saddle and frowned slightly. "Seriously, it's not a problem. I don't mind."

Kakashi regarded him seriously. "Don't get too involved with Sasuke, Naruto. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can't be friends with Uchiha's. There are consequences, and none of them will bode well for you."

"Sasuke's not..."

"No, listen to me Naruto. It'll cause trouble, and the odds are, you'll get hurt, and you may even lose your job. I won't say this again, but you think about it before you do any more 'favours' for Sasuke. Am I clear?"

Confusion was the thing foremost in his mind as he tried to process what Kakashi was saying. He couldn't understand why everyone disliked Sasuke so much. From what he understood, no one really knew him or had had much contact with him. The youngest Uchiha had never done or said anything unkind to anyone, as far as he knew and the fact that they all seemed so bias against him seemed so unfair that Naruto wasn't quite sure how to react. Sasuke had been nothing less than fair to him, treating him like an equal, and Naruto couldn't help but resent what everyone was telling him. In a way he was sick of everyone trying to protect him all the time. While they might have his best interests at heart, he was nineteen, and capable of making decisions for himself. And if he made a mistake, then so be it, it would be his fault and he would be the one who suffered for it.

It also hurt on a more personal level that they didn't trust him enough to know that he could protect himself when he needed to, and Sasuke had never given him reason to believe that he needed to be on his guard. Sasuke was a good person and Naruto liked him, perhaps more than that, and he felt an almost defensive when everyone kept on at him to be careful.

What was also clear to him though, was that Kakashi wasn't talking to him as a friend or mentor; he was talking to him as his boss, and while he never usually pulled rank unless in a serious situation, it made Naruto wary of what he said.

"I understand the risks I'm taking Kakashi, but they're my choices to make, and if I chose to take the risk, then that's my decision. If there are consequences to face then I'll face them." Naruto paused to take a breath. "I'll keep your words in mind though."

Kakashi sighed and released his hold one Taira's reins. "I suppose I'll have to accept that. I just hope you're aware..."

"I'm aware Kakashi."

"Good. What are you doing now then?"

"I need to take him over the jumps." Naruto replied, still reeling slightly.

"Make it quick. And be careful."

"I will."

Naruto's mind was in turmoil as he rode out into the stable yard.

First Raidou, and then Kakashi. Add to that the problem of Sakura and he had a fine mess in the making on his hands. Naruto knew in some distorted way that he had many personal issues and he was aware that sometimes he had trouble with handling them, and at times he felt so fragile and broken that the slightest thing could send him tumbling into a place that no person should experience.

There were times that he desperately needed reassurance and comfort from those around him, and all he wanted was to be sheltered by the people that cared about him, but sometimes he hated everyone thinking that he needed looking after, like some dependent child

Having realized all that, he also knew that Sasuke did present a problem. Naruto knew that it was indeed risky befriending a Uchiha, but not for the reasons his friends believed. There were potential dangers which could befall him at any time, and while his mind played different scenarios over and over he couldn't make himself avoid Sasuke. None of it seemed to matter when he was with Sasuke. He knew there was no way he could fight the way his feelings for Sasuke were growing.

When it came to Sasuke, his feelings where a hundred times stronger than he ever imagined possible. All the while his heart and his mind were conflicted in a way that he had never experienced before. On one hand, his mind was telling him to run, to flee because there was no way in hell anything would ever work out. Every step he took on the path that led to Sasuke was pitted with so many traps and dangers that it seemed inevitable that he get hurt in some way.

But his heart was crying out for any kind of love Sasuke could give him, anything at all. It hungered after even the possibility of love, and like a creature thirsting for a waterhole, he had no choice in the matter.

Would he sink or swim if he devoted himself to the unusual friendship that had sprung up unexpectedly between them? It was yet another question on the impossibly long list that required answers.

Taira seemed to have sensed that he wasn't paying much attention, and he attempted to get the bit between his teeth and get away. Naruto was jerked unpleasantly from his thoughts and he abruptly shortened the reins before Taira could do anything.

"Nice try," he told the horse dryly.

Taira snorted and shook his head impatiently in response. and Naruto shook his head in amusement. Horses were a refreshing change from the complicated lives that people lead. They had no need for material things, nor had they the same concerns that humans did. They were uncomplicated, and easy to understand if you knew what to look for, and Naruto had often taken comfort that.

It had begun to drizzle and the light rain seemed more like a fine blanket of mist. It was only mid afternoon, but it was already getting cooler, and Naruto's face and ears were cold.

"Okay you. Lets get this over with shall we?" Naruto muttered as he dismounted to open the gate of the jumping paddock.

Luckily, the course was still set up, so Naruto closed the gate and remounted.

"Now, nice and easy boy. No tricks." he said as he resettled himself in the saddle and shortened the reins. "Lets go."

Taira sprung into a canter from a stand still, his ground eating strides bringing them up to the first jump in a matter of seconds. With an almost push of powerful muscles, they soared over the jump and cleared it effortlessly. Taira landed smoothly and continued on, intent on the next impending jump.

Despite Sasuke's earlier words, Taira was completely collected as they soared over each jump with an almost careless and lazy attitude. Naruto had no problems directing him to each jump and making sure they faced each jump head on and straight. The dark horse nailed each landing perfectly, his balance was impeccable and everything he did told Naruto that he was an experienced jumping horse. From what he'd learned, Sasuke had won countless awards on him in the competition ring, and riding Taira as he was, Naruto didn't doubt him for a second. Not with such a competent and confident horse beneath him. From raging ball of restless energy and trouble to the confident and almost arrogant no nonsense horse, Taira's transformation was instantaneous and amazing.

Naruto loved every second of it. The adrenalin rush and the excitement coursing through his veins made him forget his troubles. Nothing mattered except power and the terrifying yet thrilling break neck speed, and it was in the moments that they were airborne that Naruto knew what the true meaning of being free was. There was nothing quite like the unity of mind and spirit that came about when horse and human worked in harmony, and it was a kind of peace that many people searched for and never found.

When they completed the course, Naruto was laughing. Gradually slowing Taira to a walk, he patted the horses damp neck in amazement. Taira arched his neck and bobbed his head. Both of them were rather damp from the drizzling rain, but it was trivial in comparison to the perfect run they'd just experienced. Naruto dismounted and pulled the reins over Taira's head.

"Definitely worth it," he grinned as he patted Taira again. "Now, lets go and spoil you a bit, shall we boy? Not that you need any more. You're heads big enough as it is."

With Kakashi's warning all but forgotten, Naruto led Taira towards the stable, tired but incredibly happy.

A few minutes later, an unsaddled and sweaty Taira was tied up in one of the paved indoor wash bays. Naruto adjusted the water temperature to lukewarm and began to hose the large horse down. Taira didn't like it much, and he laid his ears flat back as he tried to pull free. He steadied his with a hand on his halter and continued on undeterred until he was soaking wet. That luscious mane and tail were reduced to whippy, rope like strands that flicked water about with every movement.

He dumped a generous amount of sweet smelling horse shampoo over the broad back and began to work the dark coat into a lather. Taira looked rather disgruntled and undignified with soapy suds all over his body and a distinctly reproachful look about him that Naruto had to laugh.

"Not so tough now are you boy?"

Taira obviously resigned himself to his fate a few moments later and settled down, sniffing at the rail he was tied to and ignoring Naruto completely. He smiled indulgently at the horses behaviour and counted his blessings, grateful that Taira was behaving and that he could work in silence for awhile.

The sound of a bucket being put down made Naruto look up. Sakura stood there, licking her lips uncertainly.

Naruto smiled at her to cover his sudden nervousness.

"Hey Sakura."

"Hey Naruto. I was wondering if I could...ask you something."

She went to the other side of Taira and began to lather his mane.

"Sure. What's up?"

Sakura didn't reply for a few moments, and her eyes remained on what she was doing. Naruto had to force himself to stay quiet and wait for her answer.

"Sakura?"

She raised solemn green eyes to meet his. "There's nothing going on between you and Sasuke is there? I mean, you're not..."

Naruto went cold, and stopped what he was doing as he looked at Sakura and tried desperately to hide his guilt and shame, and he terrible fear.

"Why do you want to know?" he managed to ask.

"It's just...I really like him, you know? Tenten thinks that it's just a crush, but it's more than that. And I've seen you talking to him a lot, so I just thought..."

Naruto watched her as she talked and he felt his heart break just a little. How could he avoid hurting her? The last thing he wanted to do was lose a friend, for he'd never had many, and he'd be devastated if he lost one of the few he actually had.

He swallowed thickly and somehow forced his hands to continue what they were supposed to be doing, forcing his eyes down to avoid eye contact.

"So is there? It's just that...I thought maybe he might like me, and I want to know if there's anything..."

"No," Naruto replied, struggling to keep his voice steady. "There's nothing going on."

And technically it was true. Naruto's feelings were one sided, and he wasn't the type to act on them. Never in a thousand years could he ever...but that didn't mean he didn't want to. There were times that he was so overwhelmed by Sasuke that he wanted to throw himself at him. Or run away.

And now it seemed that Sakura had fallen for the same charms.

She smiled brightly at him.

"Really? You swear?"

"I swear," he almost whispered.

"Great! So, you think I should make a move on him?" She asked him cheerfully.

"I'm not...I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice," he replied after a moment, forcing a smile to his face.

"You're probably right. I should go talk to Tenten. Thanks Naruto!"

That stung more than it should have, but he let it slide and smiled at her as she left, practically skipping. He was alone once more with Taira and the deafening silence for company.

Naruto closed his eyes and leaned against Taira, not really caring that his clothes were getting soaked. He'd lied to her. He'd actually lied to Sakura, and he felt like the lowest scum on earth. And he felt ashamed, because he knew what his father would have said. Once something cruel has been said, it can never really be taken back, nor would it be forgotten. The only thing he could do was pray that Sakura wouldn't find out.

It had stopped raining by the time four o clock had rolled around, and Naruto still felt like a horrible bastard. He walked out to the fields with Shikamaru and Raidou, not caring that he was stepping in puddles, or that his jeans were soaked to the knees.

"You okay, Naruto?" Raidou asked. "You seem kind of down today?"

Naruto smiled at him as best he could. "I'm fine, Raidou. Its just been a long day."

"Well, I can honestly say from experience that the best cure for that is a long bath, a nice meal and good company. Throw in some hot cocoa, and you'll be set."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Sleep is better."

"You think sleep is they cure for everything. I really think you'd be better off switching lives with a coma patient. Then you'd be truly happy Shika."

"Shows how little you know..."

Naruto left them to their arguing and opened the gate to the field Ani was in. The grey was currently at the far end of the paddock. Naruto frowned, then sighed and closed the gate behind him.

His toes were numb with cold, and his hard leather boots and thick socks were completely soaked through. With each step he took, he sunk a few inches into the ground. Other than that it was a beautiful evening. The air was cold and crisp, and a faint mist hung over the rolling green of the fields and the forests. It was a serene kind of atmosphere which should have brought some relief to his troubled mind, but for once he found none in the beauty of the environment.

Carefully watching where he put his feet, he moved over the grass closer to Ani, knowing instinctively to avoid patches where the grass was scarce. It had taken him several times to learn that particular lesson and only after the fourth time of ending up knee deep in mud and trapped did he learn to avoid the areas.

When he was halfway down the field, he knew something was wrong. If Ani hadn't been at the gate to greet him, then he'd normally be walking towards him by now. But he hadn't moved a single step since Naruto had first seen him. His heart almost stopped when he caught sight of the broken fence a short way away from Ani, and he took off at a flat out run towards the horse, whose head was lowered. He looked up slightly as Naruto approached, but he made no move. As he skidded to a halt, it looked like there was nothing wrong physically. Colic could have been a possibility, and one that he was considering when he went to inspect Ani's other side. What he saw made him stop dead.

His hind leg was covered in dark blood, and the amount was frightening. Ani's eyes were dulled with pain, and with shaking hands he slipped on the halter as he tried to stay calm.

"You're going to be okay, baby." he murmured shakily. He turned to see Raidou heading towards him at a fast jog. "Help's on the way, Ani. Just hold on."

He wasn't putting any weight on his hind Leg. There was a deep gash running from the thigh area to the stifle, and it was bleeding free, completely soaking the leg. Naruto dropped the lead rope and hurriedly stripped off his jumper, using it to bind the area and securing it in place by tying the arms together, hoping that it would slow the bleeding even a little.

"What have you done to yourself Ani?" he asked with a strangled sob. Blood covered his hands and it terrified him more than anything. For once, it wasn't his. But he loved this horse, and he'd practically raised him and watched him grow, and having his blood on his hands was more horrifying than anything else.

Raidou finally reached them, his breathing harsh as he slowed to a walk.

"What is it? What's...holy fuck!"

"Get Kakashi. Please hurry!"

Without another word, Raidou pulled out his mobile and dialled Kakashi's number as he moved a short distance away and began talking.

Naruto took a deep breath and hurriedly wiped the tears away. He stroked Ani's face with gentle hands, hoping to be of some comfort. Ani rested his head against Naruto's chest and heaved a great sigh which seemed, to Naruto, to be laden with pain and suffering and weariness. If he could spare Ani the pain he could. He would have taken it on himself, for he was no beginner when it came to dealing with physical pain. Emotional pain and stress like this he couldn't handle, and seeing a creature he loved more than anything hurt in such a way was enough to make him break down into tears.

Before he knew it, someone was pulling him away and holding him tightly against a solid chest. Genma's arms were strong and warm, and they wrapped around him like a safe haven. Naruto hadn't even realized how cold he was until he felt Genma's body heat.

Kakashi was inspecting Ani's leg, and after a few moment, he stood up.

"The wound is deeper than I thought. Tenten's calling the vet now. We need to get him up to the stables and dry him off." he said grimly.

"But he can't..." Naruto began desperately.

"Hush Naruto. Kiba and Shika are bringing a trailer now." Genma said quietly into his ear. "Come on now. I'll take you up to the stables now and we can get everything ready for him"

"I don't want to..."

"I know you don't. But you won't be able to help him when you're like this. Come on. He'll be up there before you know it." Genma coaxed soothingly.

Naruto couldn't argue. He didn't have the strength or the will power to after seeing Ani so listless and dull, so he allowed Genma to wrap an arm around his shoulders and lead him away. All he could do was cling to Genma's shirt and stumble along beside him uselessly. Genma said nothing, just offering silent support and comfort, and Naruto was glad. There wasn't anything that could be said to make him feel any better.

And there you have it. Another chapter and one that I'm glad I finally got to post! Sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoyed it.

I've been tossing an idea around for awhile now, and I thought it's time to put it out there to all you readers. My latest idea concerning this story is posting a list of songs on my Profile page, sort of like a soundtrack that goes with this story. Either that or I'll email it to those who want it. I know other readers have done it and I liked the ideas. It would be one (or two) songs per chapter, with artists names etc. If you're interested, give me a buzz and let me know.

Thanks for reading!

Ja Ne!


	15. Analgesia

**Disclaimer: **I claim no ownership to the characters and the concept of Naruto. They belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings:** This story contains YAOI , swearing, angst and other things which may be offensive to some readers. If this displeases you in any way, please avoid reading!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I received a complaint from an anonymous reader when i posted the last chapter, and i intend to address it now.

For every chapter I write, I always put a note in the warnings informing readers that this is a story that contains Yaoi (i.e. male x male) relationships. And it also clearly states in the warning that this story revolves around the pairing of Sasuke x Naruto, and that it is Shounen ai. For a reader to accuse me of not putting such information in the summary and in the warnings is inaccurate and unjustified

I advise that all people who read this story read the warnings if you think there is something that might displease you.

And on a further note, not everyone thinks that male x male relationships are (and i quote) 'hideous, unnatural, wrong and just psychotic' so I suggest you take your pathetic and narrow minded opinions elsewhere, because no one here is interested. And if you're going to insult me, at least get the spelling right.

Now, on with the story! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 14: Analgesia

Two hours later the vet had left and Ani was lying on his uninjured side in his stall sedated peacefully. The vet had been able to stitch the wound closed successfully, and had also treated several other cuts and scratches that had gone unnoticed earlier in all the mayhem. The wound on Ani's hind leg would heal, given time and care, and although it might take awhile for him to get back on his feet, he would be able to resume his training in a few months,

Naruto was just glad that Ani was going to be alright. He'd lost a lot of blood, and he was rather weak, but the vet had announced that he was young and in good condition and health, so he would definitely live.

He stepped out of the stall to join Genma and Kakashi, who were talking quietly. Someone, he couldn't remember who, had given him a blanket to compensate for his sacrificed jumper, and he pulled it tighter around himself, trying to block out the chill.

"How're you doing, kitten?" Genma asked, pulling him close.

Naruto managed a small smile, but didn't reply.

"The vet said he'll need painkillers and anti-biotics for a few weeks," Kakashi told him. "It looks like he lost his footing while he was galloping and went through the fence."

"Someone will have to fix it tomorrow," Genma said, still holding Naruto close.

He leaned against the solid warmth of Genma, grateful for the support. His hands were still trembling, and he was still slightly nauseous with worry, but he was slowly calming down once more.

"...to send someone into town tomorrow," Kakashi was saying to Genma, but Naruto wasn't really paying attention. He shivered as a gust of cold wind swept through the stables. Genma looked down at him.

"Go and have a shower, kitten. Get into some dry clothes. I'll keep an eye on Ani for you."

Naruto gnawed on his lip uncertainly, reluctant to leave so soon.

"Go, Naruto. You won't be any help to him if you get sick," Kakashi said firmly.

Naruto nodded and pulled away from Genma.

"I won't take my eyes off of him," Genma called after him as he made him way down the dimly lit aisle.

As worried as he was, Naruto was looking forward to that hot shower and dry clothing.

At eight o'clock that night, Naruto was sitting in the stall with Ani, who was still sleeping peacefully. Naruto's was leaning against the wall wrapped in a scratchy but warm blanket, with the smell of clean hay and sweet horse strong in his nose. Rain was falling gently on the roof and the sound of it soothed Naruto so much that he was beginning to fall asleep. The other stable hands had gone up to the mansion for dinner, but Naruto had refused to because he wanted to watch over Ani to make sure that he was really okay. It wasn't uncommon that animals sometimes reacted badly to sedation and he was there to make sure it didn't happen.

Things had finally calmed down as evening fell, and Naruto couldn't remember feeling so worn out before. It paled in comparison to the relief he felt as he watched Ani's slow and steady breathing. All he needed was a little time to reassure himself that everything was alright again, and then he would turn in for the night and get some rest.

The sound of a car pulling up barely registered as he pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. It was probably Iruka, come to bring him some food and to check up on him.

He was wrong.

Sasuke opened the stable door, and Naruto made as if to get up, startled at his unexpected appearance, but Sasuke indicated that he stay where he was.

"How's he doing?" Sasuke asked as he approached Ani and crouched down next to the horse.

"He's okay now. Just sleeping," Naruto replied from his position as he watched Sasuke inspect the bandaging.

Sasuke put a hand on Ani's shoulder for a moment before he looked over his shoulder at Naruto, his eyes piercing and calculative. At any other time Naruto would have been uncertain and slightly intimidated, but he was too tired and distressed to feel those emotions. Before he knew it, Sasuke had moved over to him and was sitting shoulder to shoulder beside him

"Sasuke?"

"I'll sit with you for awhile."

Naruto nodded, grateful to have the company, and the unspoken support, even if it was from such an unexpected source as Sasuke.

"Here." Sasuke deposited a brown paper bag in his lap. Naruto hadn't even noticed he'd been carrying it and he looked at it, confused.

"Iruka sent it."

Curiously, he open the bag to find a homemade hamburger.

"Thanks," he said quietly as he pulled it out. Iruka had cut it in half, and he tentatively offered half to Sasuke, who frowned and shook his head.

"You should eat it."

"I'm not really that hungry," he shrugged. "I won't be able to eat it all anyway."

Somewhat reluctantly, Sasuke accepted half and they began to eat in silence for awhile.

"So what happened?"

Naruto looked down at the burger in his hands, suddenly losing what little appetite he'd had.

"He lost his footing. Fell through the fence." he said quietly, feeling the tinge of fear and pain. "He'll be out of action for awhile."

"He'll recover. Horses have accidents all the time."

"I know that. It's just..."

"It doesn't matter," Sasuke interrupted. "It's not like you put him out with the intent to cause him harm. It was an accident and nothing more. Don't blame yourself. It could have happened to any horse."

Unhappily, Naruto nodded. "But what will happen to him now? You're father won't want a scarred horse in his stables."

Sasuke scowled darkly. "He won't get sold if that's what you mean. Ani's mother's horse now, and she won't care if he has scars. I won't let him get sold."

Naruto sighed, and rubbed his forehead, relieved and amazed that Sasuke would do such a thing to make him feel better.

"Long day?" Sasuke asked unexpectedly, obviously hearing his quiet sigh.

Surprised, Naruto smiled shyly at the Uchiha.

"Yeah. And then this..." he stopped for a moment. "You?"

Sasuke finished off his half of the burger and wiped his hands carelessly on his black business trousers.

"You could say that. I was lucky I had Neji there."

"Why?"

"Itachi." was the only answer he got, and Naruto pondered on the cryptic answer for a moment, before gathering up his courage to ask his next question.

"What happened?"

"Just little things. The way he works people until they play right into his hands, the way he tries to provokes me. It was a business lunch and he still wouldn't cut me a break."

Sasuke's tempere seemed to be worsening as he responded to his question, and Naruto watched, slightly fascinated by the small frown marring his face, and the way his eyes turned flinty and cold. Clearing his throat slightly, Naruto decided that it was probably best to redirect Sasuke's attention for the object of his irritation.

"Why were you at a business lunch?"

Sasuke glanced at him momentarily. "It's complicated."

Naruto smiled. "We've got time."

The corner of Sasuke's mouth quirked slightly and his eyes seemed to soften minutely.

"When father retires, Itachi and I each inherit half of his assets, and the companies he owns will become ours. Everything gets divided equally in half."

"Isn't that...a bit unusual?" Naruto frowned. Not that he had an intricate understanding of the way businesses were run, or the laws of inheritance, but he did have a dim understanding of the way things worked.

"Yes it is. Father is the type who likes to...do things differently from the rest." Sasuke's distaste was evident not only from his tone, but from his body language as well. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Sasuke disliked anything to do with his father or his brother. And it didn't seem like he was adverse to the idea of doing things differently from the rest, because it seemed to Naruto that it was exactly the kind of thing that Sasuke did all of the time.

"So how does it work?"

"When he retired, Itachi looks after my side of the inheritance until I have enough experience to handle them by myself."

"Won't that be hard if you're still in University?"

"I'm in my last year now. And besides, its not like father is going to retire soon. His work is his life."

Naruto had forgotten that Sasuke was older than him.

"Right. So when you finish..."

"Father gets me a place on the board of directors until he retires."

They fell quiet for a few moments until Naruto decided on his next question, and one that probably wasn't the best question to be asked. But it was something that he'd been wondering about for a while now, and he thought that it might help him to understand better why Sasuke acted the way he did.

"You don't like Itachi-sama much, do you? Or your father."

Sasuke didn't answer, and he thought that maybe he had overstepped his boundaries, so he was surprised when Sasuke started to speak again.

"Itachi and I...used to be...close when we were younger. I suppose I looked up to him, because it wasn't like there was anyone else around that I could spend time with. So it was always him and me, and we did practically everything together. But then he went away to University, and he changed. I don't know why. First we stopped talking, and then we started fighting. We've had a few spectacular rows. I think it upset mother more than she let on." Sasuke replied distantly.

"And my father... He's rigid in his beliefs of proper behaviour, and he thinks that image is the most important thing. We must maintain the Uchiha image even if it means sacrificing everything we hold dear. In his case, it was his family."

It was strange, listening to Sasuke talk about his family. Although he had said that he hated the way his father thought image the most important thing, it was evident that Sasuke had unconsciously adopted a little of what he hated about his father. The cold indifference that he'd seen when he first met Sasuke, was probably exactly what Uchiha's were expected to act like.

Perhaps it was the fierce indoctrination that his father had subjected him to throughout his childhood that had made it happen, or perhaps it was because secretly, every person wants some sort of recognition from their father figure. Maybe that was why he kept people at an arms length; because he didn't want to have to live up to others' expectations of him, only to have them be disappointed in him when he didn't.

Now that Naruto have a faint understanding of what Sasuke's childhood had been like, Sasuke seemed more human to him. More fallible than he had been. And certainly more vulnerable.

It can't all have been bad though, because Sasuke's mother was wonderful, and seemed to be the epitome of kindness and warmth. Still, it can't have been easy, being torn between the two. Naruto also suspected that Sasuke was so bitter towards his father because he felt like he could never be anything more than his father's greatest disappointment, and it made his ache with sadness for Sasuke. It must have taken a lot of courage and strength for Sasuke to live in the face of such expectations, and still be who he was. Determined, stubborn and fiercely independent, and Naruto couldn't help but believe that it had made Sasuke a better person. It had taught him that he had to fight for what he believed in. But also, it may have made him bitter and cynical towards the world, and the people who lived in it.

"Maybe your father is the reason Itachi changed." Naruto ventured carefully.

"That's what I thought to begin with too. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe as I was growing up I was blinded to who he really was by my admiration of him. Maybe we're just too different."

"I can't imagine what it's like," Naruto said quietly.

"It's not something i would wish on anyone." Sasuke replied, somewhat grimly. "Lets talk about something else."

Naruto nodded and tried to think of something to say but his mind was swirling with what he'd learnt about Sasuke's family. He couldn't quite wrap his head around it. For as long as he could remember, he'd been part of a family of two, and he'd grown up knowing that he was loved very much by the one person in the world who was his home. It just went to show that no family is alike. And no family was perfect.

"How was Taira today?"

Naruto smiled. "A bit of a handful at first, but he settled down eventually."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm afraid he's always like that with new riders. I usually keep him at a local boarding stables near where I live off campus, and he causes quite a bit of trouble there. He seems to have settled down nicely here though."

"It probably helps that you ride him every day."

"Mmmm. And the fact that it's you who looks after him."

"What do you mean?"

"Horses respond well to you, Naruto. Sometimes it seems to me almost as if you speak to them without saying anything. Anyone can see that they love you." Sasuke replied, matter-of-factly.

"I...I'm no different from any of the others..." Naruto flushed hotly at the tremendous compliment that had just been handed out to him.

"They love horses, true, and they love working with them. They'll probably dedicate their lives to them just as you have. But you have that special touch that they don't, and they respond to it."

"But that's..." Naruto stumbled on his words in his shock.

"Naruto." Sasuke turned to him suddenly. "It was a compliment. Don't try and find reasons to doubt it. Just accept it."

Sasuke turned away, his eyes once more resting on Ani, and Naruto sat dumbfounded for a moment before looking at his hands and thinking.

"Thank you." he said quietly once he'd gotten over his embarrassment and thought about what Sasuke had said. "That means a lot to me."

"Good."

"It was my father you know. My father taught me everything he knew about horses. I learnt everything I knew off of him."

He could feel Sasuke looking at him, but he didn't meet his eyes, afraid that Sasuke would see how much the sadness and guilt still tore at him. That Sasuke would see how jaded and worn out he was on the inside. As if there was no substance left of him on the inside.

"I would have liked to meet him," Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto smiled at his hands, and was surprised that for once he didn't feel like crying.

"He would have liked you."

A yawn escaped Naruto unexpectedly, and Sasuke looked at him.

"You should get some rest. It's been hard day for you."

Naruto smiled sheepishly. "I think I'll sit here for awhile longer. I don't think I could sleep with him like this anyway."

"He'll be fine without you here."

Naruto looked down and bit his lip. "I'll only worry about him if I leave."

Before he even knew it was happening, Sasuke had pulled him into his arms and was holding him loosely. For a few moments, he sat there stiffly, unable to believe that it was Sasuke who was holding him, offering him comfort. If it was a dream, then it was the best dream that he'd ever had. Before he could stop himself, he was relaxing slowly into the embrace and shyly gripped Sasuke's shirt at his sides. He rested his head on the broad shoulder, closed his eyes and inhaled the wonderful scent of Sasuke, a sharp tantalizing scent of coffee, sandalwood, aftershave and a faint scent of masculine sweat. He was so warm and Naruto hadn't felt so protected and safe within the circle of another's arms for years.

Sasuke rested his cheek on the top of his head and he exhaled in a way that spoke of a deep seated tiredness.

"Everything will be fine Naruto," Sasuke said in a low voice and Naruto wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure him or himself, but it hardly mattered in the surreal moment that they shared. Reluctantly, Naruto pulled away a little and looked up at Sasuke.

"Thank you. For staying with me. I appreciate it."

Sasuke raised a hand and cupped Naruto's cheek. His stomach did a violent back flip at the action, and his heart sped up almost painfully and as if in slow motion, Sasuke lowered his head until their mouths brushed ever so softly, and his breath hitched in his throat.

Sasuke was kissing him.

Sasuke was...

Silken lips pressed more firmly over his own and Narutos eyes slid closed of their own accord, unable to think or move. All reason and logic escaped him as Sasuke's lips moved over his, teasing gently and carefully. Naruto's body was on fire, and he gasped at the sensations Sasuke was eliciting within him, unwittingly giving his sweet tormentor access.

He jumped when Sasuke's tongue traced over his lower lip and he knew instantly (if the heat in his stomach was anything to go by) that he wanted more, so he hesitantly gave Sasuke full access. Within moments, Sasuke had deepened the kiss as he explored Naruto's mouth slowly and thoroughly, gently. Naruto found he could do little more than respond . Sasuke was everywhere, his scent, his taste and Naruto was in sensory overload.

Eventually though, Sasuke withdrew, leaving Naruto breathless and disorientated with swollen lips and flushed cheeks. Sasuke ran a thumb over Naruto's bottom lip as he smiled slowly, like a wolf that knew it had it's prey.

"Have you ever been kissed before?" he asked, still smiling.

Naruto shook his head wordlessly, still feeling as if his body was overheated and melting.

"We'll have to work on it then, won't we?" Sasuke smirked, as he pulled Naruto close once more.

Grateful for the support, Naruto slumped boneless against him, his thoughts like mist in his head.

Sasuke had kissed him. And he'd all but announced that he intended to do it again. What did that mean? What did any of it mean?

Naruto only knew one thing for sure. Sasuke was a damn good kisser.

* * *

There, my loyal readers! Are you satisfied? Or was it crap? Good, bad, or horrible, let me know your thoughts!

By the way, Analgesia means an absence of pain. And i will be working on the soundtrack to this pretty soon. I'll post in on my profile page for those interested. Or i can email it to you, whichever suits.

Shorter one I know, but the next will hopefully be following soon, so you won't be feeling unfulfilled for too long. Have a good one folks!


	16. Torn

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and claim no profits from this fanfiction. All characters belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings:** Yaoi, swearing, angst and subjects which could offend some readers.

**AU: italics are dreams!**

* * *

Chapter 15: _Torn _

_"Now Naruto," Arashi crouched down to eye level in front Naruto, who was dressed in pyjamas and ready for bed. "I want you to go to bed when the baby sitter tells you to. No misbehaving, and no games. Understood?"_

_Naruto smiled cheekily. "But why papa? I'm not tired."_

_Arashi frowned. "Because I said so. I don't want you being naughty like you were for the last baby sitter we had."_

_He pouted. "But she was mean. She wasn't any fun."_

_"She wasn't mean. You only said that so she'd get in trouble."_

_"No I didn't. Why do you have to go?" Naruto asked as he launched himself into his fathers arms. "I want you to stay. I don't like that lady."_

_Arashi sighed into his hair and hugged him back._

_"Because we're dating, Naru-chan. That's what adults do when they're interested in each other."_

_"But I don't want a new mommy. I love my mommy."_

_"I know you do. I do too, but we have to move on, Naruto, and we have to settle down somewhere. We can't keep on the way we have been."_

_"But I like..."_

_"That's enough for now Naruto. We'll talk more about this in the morning..."_

Naruto woke with a jolt, his breath sobbing in his throat and his eyes stinging. Exhaustion still tugged at his tired mind, seducing him back towards sleep. He didn't want to linger with the memories while he was awake. It was easier to stay asleep and just remember. So he lay back down and hugged the blankets to himself, and gave into sleep once more.

This time, he dreamt of another type of nightmare, just as painful and twice as cruel.

_A strong hand gripped his throat and slammed him back against the wall, knocking the breath from his body. He struggled blindly, but other hands descended upon him and held him still._

_"Did you honestly think you could avoid us forever, Na-ru-to?" a laughing voice asked._

_Naruto couldn't answer as the hand around his throat tightened and he struggled for air as he fought back the tears. He couldn't see their faces, but he didn't want to; he already knew who they were._

_"Poor little Naru-chan is wondering why this is happening to him," the voice hissed in his ear._

_Fear had grasped his body, immobilizing him, and although he had stopped fighting them physically, he fought to block out their vicious lies, the poison that dripped from their lips. But the hand left his throat and grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look into the shadowed faces of his tormentors. He gasped, taking in precious oxygen and it burned down his bruised throat._

_"It's because no one loves you. No one will ever love you again. You're just as bad as the rest of us, no better. So you can step down off your pedestal and join the ranks. Whaddaya say? No more beatings no more embarrassments."_

_"No..." he gasped out. _

_It wasn't true..._

_It couldn't be…_

_"That's too bad, Naru-chan..."_

_The hands released him, and as fists and boots slammed into his body the only words that registered through the haze of pain made him face a harsh reality._

_No one will ever love me again._

_There is no escaping..._

Naruto woke up again, feeling the touch of an old, remember fear and shivering. For a moment he just lay there, forcing himself not to over react and panic. For once he didn't feel the fear threatening the fragile balance that he was only just finding; instead, the pain was a dull, stabbing ache just below where his heart lay.

Naruto sighed and rolled over. There was really no point in trying to get back to sleep, so he sat up and swung his legs out of the bed. His room was cold and condensation had clouded the window. The dull red glow of his alarm clock told him that it was 4:23 am and he wrapped a blanket around himself as he got up and turned his little heater on.

A picture frame on his dresser caught his attention and he picked it up, smiling as he remembered the day it had been taken.

He must've been about ten. His father was holding the lead rope of a large bay horse, and Naruto was sitting aside the horses bare back, grinning widely at the camera with his hands entwined in the mane. His fathers arm was draped over the horses neck, and he wore a plain white singlet and old faded jeans. He was looking at the camera with his head tilted slightly to the side, with his hair falling in his eyes and a grin to match Naruto's.

Naruto was built nothing like his father. He'd always been slightly smaller than average, and slim, with wiry muscles that had little bulk. He wasn't particularly broad shouldered either, or long legged. In fact, he was built rather like an acrobat. Uzamaki Arashi, on the other hand was tall, broad shouldered and built, with good looks to boot. When Naruto had been young, he'd loved to watch his father flex his muscles, laughing as he poked at them, and he'd loved it when his father had picked him up and swung him through the air wildly, lightly enough to feel like he was flying but firm enough to never drop him.

Other then their very obvious differences in build, they shared the same wheat blond hair, dazzling blue eyes and the same complexion that turned a lovely golden brown when exposed to the sun. Naruto had his smile. He could see it whenever he smiled at himself in the mirror and it always hurt to see himself and that smile. It was almost as if he had stolen that smile from it's original owner.

Sighing slightly, he set the photo back in it's place gently reverently. Every photo, every momentum left of his father was a bitter sweet reminder. At times he wished that his he could let his father go. Sometimes it felt as if his fathers ghost still haunted him, and he wished he felt differently. He needed some relief from the memories that haunted him.

"What would you do in my place, dad?" he asked the silence.

But he knew the answer to that already.

_'Naruto,' _he'd say, _'Whenever the possibility of love comes along, you must grab at it. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Great men have been made humble by the power of love, kingdoms destroyed and built for love. To love and be loved is the most greatest gift of all. One day, when you're older, you must grab at love with both your hands and never let it go. That's how it was with your mother and I and that's how it will be for you.'_

Those words were amongst the memories he remembered most clearly about his father and although he had never once forgotten, it had often been hard to believe in them. When he'd been lost in the darkest places of his mind, wounded and in desperate need of some kind of refuge, he had doubted those words. The arrival of Sasuke had thrown the issue into conflict once more, and he no longer knew what to believe. He almost couldn't bring himself to hope that something might come of the strange situation with Sasuke.

Naruto knew that if he were to get through the day with any sort of normalcy, then he needed to pull himself from the desperate sadness that had gripped him in the wake of his dreams. He began to try and focus on what he must do for the day as he pulled on a pair of tough cargo pants, a plain long sleeved shirt, a sweater and a warm zip up jacket . Out in the corridor the air was frigid and he was suddenly glad of his warm clothes.

It was too early to start work, so he quietly made himself a cup of hot coffee and a piece of toast in the small kitchenette and ate it as he looked out the window. The horizon was lightening, promising a beautiful sunrise. There were clouds hanging in the sky, but patches of clear night sky were still visible. Naruto set his cup down and turned, leaning against the sink as his eyes wandered over the darkened sitting room. When everyone was there, and the air was filled with laughter and conversation, the place was warm and inviting, the closest thing to home that he had ever had. But when the lights were out and everyone was in bed and all was quiet, the room was transformed into another world. Shadows draped the room, and the quiet reigned supreme.

Naruto's eyes rested on the couch. It wasn't so long ago that Sasuke had lain there, unconscious and vulnerable. That had been when he'd first suspected, but then he had never actually thought that it would get to the point where Sasuke would begin to...seduce him. Where he would feel those full lips possessing his own, and he would be lost in the intoxicating taste that was Sasuke.

Quickly turning his thoughts from that subject as a hot flush rushed to his face, Naruto decided to go for a walk.

It was even colder outside then it had been in his room but he took no notice of it as he made his way out towards the rolling fields and forests. The grass was wet, and he had to shove his hands deep in his pockets to keep them warm but being out in the fresh air was revitalising. The air, despite its chill was fresh and as the sun slowly began to emerge on the horizon, he looked up at the beautiful sky as the light hit the clouds and ignited them with fiery gold.

The new day dawned and as he walked, he could feel the dregs of his sorrow retreat to an inner place to be dwelt upon later. It was difficult to be so conflicted when he was surround by such breath taking beauty. Everything was simplified when it came to nature. Everything had its cycle, and its place in the world. And it was the same with his. Sorrow and peace, fear and security ran their courses, came and went and there was nothing he could do but go along to wherever it was that his emotions and his heart lead him. That was the way of life, and there was little he could do to change it.

The only other thing on his mind apart from the beautiful dawn, was Sasuke and his perplexing beauty. And the way his lips had felt when they had first touched his own. It was such a perfect dream those lips had woven for him, and one which he craved with everything in his heart. Most of all though, he just wanted Sasuke, in all his silence and mystery.

The sun had fully risen by the time Naruto returned to the quarters, and he was surprised to see Genma sitting at the table bare-chested and staring unblinkingly into a cup of coffee.

"Genma? What are you doing up?" he asked in a hushed voice as he closed the door quietly.

Long, chestnut hair fell back from Genma's face as he looked up at him and frowned slightly.

"Up already kitten?" he asked, without a trace of his normal good humour. Instead he looked unusually solemn and a little melancholy. Naruto smiled and sat next to him.

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk."

"Me neither. I can't stop thinking," Genma said with a humourless laugh. "I never was good at sorting things out."

Naruto touched his arm hesitantly, unsure if his company would be welcomed. "Anything I can help with?"

Genma sighed and covered Naruto's hand with his own as the swirled the contents of his cup with the other and refused to look at him.

"I don't think so kitten. Not this time, anyhow."

"Well," Naruto began. "Maybe it would help if you talked about it."

For a minute it seemed as if Genma would refuse but he squeezed Naruto's fingers gently and set his cup down.

"I got a phone call last night. One of my oldest friends back home is very sick. The doctors don't think he'll pull through this time," Genma said as he rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "He was always sick when we were kids."

A rush of sadness and sympathy for Genma gripped Naruto and he rested his head against Genma's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm sorry."

"Ah," Genma hugged him back with a sad smile. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it kitten."

"Of course I will if you're like this," Naruto replied quietly. "What are you going to do?"

Genma rested his head against Naruto's and rubbed his hand over his back absentmindedly.

"Kashi's given me time off to go and visit him in hospital."

"Will you be all right by yourself? Do you want..."

"I'll be okay, kitten. You need to stay and get on with things here. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

It seemed almost as if Genma was trying to reassure himself rather than Naruto, but he didn't comment and let Genma hold him. He could feel the slight trembling of Genma's hands as they touched him and another wave of sorrow rolled through him for Genma.

"Tell me about him," he murmured eventually. "What is his name?"

"His name is Hayate, and he lived on a neighbouring farm to ours..."

Genma packed a bag and left that afternoon looking tired and pale. Naruto gave him a lingering hug goodbye, hoping to convey courage and strength to his suffering friend. Sakura, Tenten and Kiba stood with him and watched Kakashi drive away down the road that would take them off the property. Sakura wrapped her arms around him companionably.

"Don't worry about him Naruto," she said in his ear, trying to reassure him. "He'll be back in a week, and everything will be back to normal."

Naruto would have liked to disagree with her, and to point out that nothing in life turned out quite as neatly as she imagine it would, but he didn't have the heart. After all, life wasn't the same as it was in the stories. Heroes didn't always manage to rescue the heroine from the clutches of evil, brothers in arms didn't always survive through thick and thin, and nobody ever lived happily ever after. Life wasn't meant to be easy, or pretty and neat. And when death touched someone's life, it left the person changed. As if a little piece of themselves has been stolen away, lost forever amongst the chaos that life brought.

"Besides," Tenten continued, "Genma's strong. He can deal with this."

Naruto wasn't so sure. Everyone had to break down at some point, and Genma was no exception to that. Although he loved his friends dearly, he couldn't help but think that they couldn't possibly know what it was like to lose a dear one. At Christmas time, they all went home to their families, to their loved ones. Only Naruto and a few of the others stayed behind, because they had no one to return to. Iruka and Kakashi always stayed, because neither of them had any family except for each other. Raidou stayed because he had cut all ties to his dysfunctional family a long time ago, and had never looked back and felt regret.

The facts were there though. Perhaps Naruto was more anxious than the others because he had experienced the same sort of thing. The loss of a loved one was never easy.

"Come on. Lets get back to work," Kiba said after a few moments. "Can you imagine what Kashi would say if he came back and the stables weren't cleaned out?"

They all went their separate ways, each left alone with their thoughts, and Naruto was determined not to let the sudden change in atmosphere get him down. It was all too easy to get dragged down by self doubt and fear, and for once he was determined not to let himself fall the way he had in the past.

With Ani injured and resting, Naruto's work centred mainly around Taira. Kakashi had assigned him five stables to be cleaned and their respective owners to be exercised. It wasn't long before he lost himself in the pure physicality of the work, successfully managing to put Genma's problem from his mind at least for a little while. He worked hard and thoroughly, shovelling manure into the wheel barrow, bucketing the water out of the small stable troughs, scrubbing them out and refilling them with clean water. He put fresh straw in each stall until a thick layer of bedding covered the floor of each.

By the time he had finished cleaning, and had exercised the horses and put them out in the fields, he was sweaty and dirty. Instead of taking a break ( it was almost lunch time after all) Naruto located the broom and began to sweep the aisle and put away all the equipment he had used. It was only after the area was as spotless as a stable area could be did he turn his attention to Taira. The dark horse had been especially well behaved lately, and Naruto thought he deserved some extra special attention.

Taira's dark coat was gleaming and satiny smooth once he'd finished grooming him; his hooves glistened with hoof oil, his mane and tail were neatly trimmed and Naruto had never seen a horse looking so beautiful before. He'd just settled the saddle in place and was struggling to pull the cinch up one more hole with Taira pinning his ears back and stamping unhappily, when the warm length of a body pressed against his back and strong, graceful hands grasped the strap above his own and helped to pull the strap up high enough until he could buckle it properly.

He flushed with exertion and something he couldn't quite identify as their hands fell away simultaneously. The warm body didn't move away from his; instead, warm hands came to rest on his upper arms.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"You looked like you could use the help," Sasuke murmured, his mouth close to Naruto's ear.

He shivered as warm, sweet breath fanned gently over his neck and heat curled down to his belly. Unsure what to do next, he didn't move, but Sasuke obviously had something in mind, for he turned Naruto around.

Sasuke was smiling at him and it was such a beautiful thing to see. Those dark eyes were warm, and the dazzling smile captured him like a moth to flame. There was a small dimple in his left cheek, Naruto realized, as he smiled hesitantly back. He felt overly warm, and slightly light headed so he jumped when strong hands gripped his hips and pulled him closer. Hie heart was speeding rapidly and he could hardly breathe as he looked up at Sasuke.

It was an odd combination of fear of the unknown and craving the feel of those lips once more that had him thrown into such delicious confusion. While his head wasn't sure what he wanted any more, his heart and his body knew instinctively, and whenever Sasuke was near, it was like any self control he had flew out the window and left his body in control.

"What are you doing?" he asked shakily.

Sasuke smirked down at him in a predatory way.

"Practising," he whispered as he lowered his head.

Naruto's breath hitched as Sasuke's lips hovered over his for an agonisingly long moment before they covered his own, caressing ever so gently as if sensing Naruto's vulnerability and his need to be reassured. He was dimly aware of one of the hands on his hips sliding around and pressing against his lower back, urging him closer until he was pressed flush against Sasuke.

He tensed at the sudden wet warmth as Sasuke's tongue laved slowly over his lips, and he gasped instantly granting him access.

Sasuke used his sensual kisses and his sure and steady touches on his back to relax him, and before he knew it, he was responding openly to him. Sasuke approval was almost palpable and he began to slowly tease Naruto with small flicks of his tongue and gentle nips with his teeth, urging him to explore of his own will. At first he did so uncertainly, but then with building confidence as Sasuke obviously responded.

Sasuke nipped at his lips when they eventually pulled apart

He was breathless, and feeling overwhelmed and stunned as Sasuke's lips took a different direction and began to travel slowly along his jaw to his neck.

He shuddered as the Uchiha sucked gently on his neck and he fisted his hands in the soft and probably expensive material of Sasuke's jacket. Trying and obviously failing to string a coherent thought together he gasped.

"S-sasuke..."

It came out as a breathy moan more than anything, and before he could try again teeth bit into his neck. He gave up after that and just lost himself in the feel of having Sasuke so close, of the pure sensation of human touch on his body. Sasuke's attentions made him feel like he was the most valuable person on the planet and it wasn't anything he ever wanted to give up.

After what seemed like sweet eternity, Sasuke ceased his irresistible torment and looked down at him with a slight quirking of his lips as his eyes burned down into Naruto's half closed ones.

"Mmmm." A pale thumb rubbed thoughtfully at his lower lip. "I'd say you passed the first test with flying colours, Naruto."

Naruto struggled to focus on the face looking down at him.

"Why...why are you doing this?"

He wasn't sure if he really wanted the answer.

"Why?" Sasuke repeated thoughtfully.

Naruto nodded and held his breath as he waited. It was as if he were dangling on the edge of a precipice and his heart was in his throat; he'd put everything on the line, his hopes and desires, and he was about to find out if he would sink or stay afloat.

"Because I want to. And because you're beautiful." Sasuke replied. "I intend to make you believe me."

"I don't understand."

Sasuke was truly an enigma. There was no possible way of gaining any gleam of his intentions from that cryptic reply. No way of reading into the words to tell if Sasuke was really as interested in him as Naruto wanted him to be, or if he only saw Naruto as a game, as another conquest. And it was the uncertainty that was killing him.

"You will," Sasuke gave him another half smile and kissed his temple lingeringly. "I'll finish off here. It's about time for your lunch isn't it? You go and get something to eat. I'll see you later."

Sasuke stepped back from him and turned to reach for the bridle. Naruto stood there for a moment, his head almost swimming and he half-stumbled away out the door. Once he was out of Sasuke's sight, he fled to the cool darkness of the tack room and collapsed on an overturned bucket before burying his face in his hands and realizing that he was shaking.

It was difficult to believe what was happening to him. The most beautiful Uchiha, who seemed angelic and demonic all at once, was interested in him? In the damaged and introverted Naruto? Doubts plagued his mind, and a part of him was screaming at him to get out and to get away, that it was all a trap. That it was an elaborate network of lies concocted so Sasuke could carry it away to amuse his circle of friends with. An innocent and naive virgin who had fallen prey to a beautiful face and artificial charms. Despite what he wanted to believe it could have been possible. There was no way of finding out except for waiting.

His heart was telling him that this wasn't the case though; that Sasuke truly wasn't like that. That he wasn't that cruel or that petty. He was different from anybody or anything he'd ever known, but that didn't mean he wasn't to be trusted. His mind, on the other hand was telling him otherwise. There was a battle going on between Naruto's heart and mind, and he wasn't sure which was winning.

He fisted his hands in his hair and forced himself to breathe deeply and calm down. It felt as if his head was about to explode because of all the doubts and questions and furious thoughts raging in his mind.

And Sasuke...those lips felt so perfect on his, like his kiss was the only thing feeding him life. When Sasuke had touched him, had held him like that, Naruto had been almost dizzy with pleasure, and the colours that Sasuke had stirred within him were so exotic and brilliantly magnificent that everything else seemed dull and lifeless in comparison.

It was pure emotion, stronger than anything he had ever felt. And although he didn't know if it was just desire or if it was love, it made no difference. It was real and it was strong and he felt like he could finally move on the strength it leant him never left.

He did know one thing for sure though. This was his only chance. His only chance at love or something close to it. If this didn't work out then Naruto knew that he wouldn't ever be able to devote himself to anyone else ever again. He wouldn't have the strength.

So, the big question was, would he go with what was happening, or would he walk away?

"Hey Naruto, you in there?" Kiba's voice called. "Raidou wants us to go out and fix that fence!"

With a sigh, Naruto rubbed his face and stood up.

"Sure. I'll be right out."

He was tired of being lonely, and he was tired of feeling so small and shadowed by his past. It was time to do something about it.

* * *

Please don't kill me! offers chocolate

I know, I know, this update was long overdue I know, but….you see, the thing is…..

Huffs Oh never mind! There really is no excuse is there?

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it! Any feedback is appreciated!


	17. Heart Ache

**Disclaimer**: The concepts and characters of Naruto belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings**: Yaoi, shounen ai, swearing, sensitive topics which may offend some readers.

**AN: This chapter is a (very) belated birthday present to Precious (that's my nick name for her btw) who is a very close friend of mine. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_**Chapter 16: Heart Ache**_

When Naruto emerged from the darkened tack room it was to find Ten ten and Shikamaru loading up the Ute with wooden planks, tool boxes and enough supplies to fix the fence that Ani had broken.

Kiba and Sakura on the other hand, were preparing the quad and the dirt bike. Naruto frowned as he approached.

"What's going on?"

"There's been a change in plans,"mSaukra replied, not sounding too happy with it.

"Quit complaining, Sakura," Kiba chimed in cheerfully. "It'll be fun if you can manage not to be so uptight."

"Shut it Kiba."

"We've been asked..." Kiba continued.

"Ordered to more like," Sakura muttered.

"...to go and check out the boundary fences. Which includes the fields beyond the woods." Kiba replied grinning.

"I don't know why you're so happy about it," Sakura grumbled.

Naruto smiled at their arguing and glanced over his shoulder at Ten ten and Shikamaru, who were working side by side in silence. He frowned at the strange tenseness the surrounded the two and turned back towards Kiba.

"What's going on over there?"

Kiba looked where he had been and frowned as well.

"They had an argument," he replied in a quieter tone of voice. "I'll tell you about it later."

Naruto nodded.

"Now, are you going with me or Sakura.?"

Naruto looked over to where Sakura was gingerly starting up the quad bike. There was a small tray on the back used to carry a second rider or equipment. Knowing Sakura, who wasn't too fond of the quad or of high speeds unless it was on horse back, he knew that she would go at a snails pace and take twice as long to cover the ground she had to. His other option was riding on the back of the dirt bike with the daredevil Kiba who would no doubt go at break neck speed.

After a moments hesitation, he decided to take his chances with Kiba. After all, he needed to calm down after that close encounter of the intimate kind with Sasuke, one that had left his mind burning with turmoil.

"You," he murmured.

"Traitor," Sakura grimaced, then smiled at him to show that she wasn't really annoyed.

"Lets get going then shall we?" Kiba said brightly, his eyes alight with anticipation.

There were sullen mutters of agreement from Shikamaru and Tenten and another grumble from Sakura.

Kiba settled himself on the bike and revved the engine with a roar. Naruto suddenly doubted his decision as Kiba grinned wickedly at him, then resigned himself to his fate and climbed on behind him. As he wrapped his arms around Kiba's midriff, Raidou emerged from the feed shed.

"You guys be careful. Keep an eye on each other. If I find out that you've done anything stupid Kiba, by god I'll have your neck," Raidou threatened with a grin. "Iruka would murder me if anything happened to Naruto. And keep those helmets on you two."

Kiba waved jauntily at him before taking off with a swearing Sakura following.

Despite his doubts, riding behind Kiba on the dirt bike was nothing if not exhilarating. With the wind roaring through his hair and past his ears, and the feel of the roaring engine beneath him Naruto knew that it was just what he'd needed. Kiba was swerving to avoid pot holes in the path that led through the woods, and Naruto could occasionally feel the clumps of dirt splattering over his back, but he didn't mind in the slightest.

Behind him, he could hear the duller roar of the quad bike and he had no doubt that Sakura was cursing Kiba to the lowest depths of hell for making her go so fast to keep up.

The Uchiha property that Naruto called home was the largest in the area, stretching out for what seemed like forever. At first Naruto had no idea why the Uchiha's needed such a big property when not even close to a third of it was landscaped. Most of the land was unused, and consisted of a combination of woods and open fields. However, the back of the property stretched out over the foothills of one of the most beautiful ranges of hills Naruto knew of.

As it turned out, in the past the Uchiha's had been well known for their professional breeding and training programs, and most of the land had been used years and years ago. But that aspect of the Uchiha legacy had faded away and been replaced with more corporate paths of pursuit. The land itself was probably worth millions, but the Uchihas, who were well known for their pride and their stubbornness, refused to sell any of it despite the most generous of offers. The open fields that covered the foot hills were the best grazing ground around, but it was unused for the most part. To Naruto this was a great waste, as many of the horses that were nearing retirement could make great use of it. But there was nothing he could do to about it, so he was content just to admire the majestic beauty of the foot hills and the open pastures.

When Kiba broke out of the woods into the open land, he let out a whoop of joy and revved the engine, speeding up yet again. Unfortunately, as much as Naruto was enjoying the ride they had work to do. Holding on with one hand, he tapped Kiba on the shoulder and pointed towards the distant fence line that ran adjacent to them out of the woods and meandered its way up the steep foot hills.

He smiled when Kiba shook his head and slowed down before changing direction and heading straight for the fence.

A few moments later he killed the engine completely and took off his helmet.

"You're no fun Naruto," he scowled good naturedly.

"There'll be plenty of time for fun later. After we've done what we've come out here to do," Naruto replied calmly as they dismounted from the bike and leaned against it to wait for Sakura.

She had yet to emerge from the trees, so it looked like they'd need to wait for awhile.

"So what was going on with Ten ten and Shika?" he asked curiously. "Is everything okay?"

"Hard to tell really with those two. Ten ten got upset when she saw that Yamanaka chick and Shika talking. He's saying that she's over reacting and that they weren't even talking really, and she'd insisting that he's too lazy and stubborn to see what's right underneath his nose. It all kinda escalated from there." Kiba sighed and shook his head. "It wouldn't be so hard for them if they'd just admit they liked each other and moved on, but they're both too stubborn."

Naruto was slightly amused to hear wisdom from Kiba, but he hid his smile.

"I hope they'll patch it up soon," Kiba continued. "I'm sick of being the one to fill all those tense silences. Its killing me!"

Naruto did smile at him this time.

"Maybe there's something we could do to help."

"Noooo," Kiba said immediately. "Unless you want to end up on both of their bad sides I suggest you abandon that idea. And you know what Ten tens like when she's pissed!"

It was probably the best advice he'd ever heard out of Kiba's mouth and he had to agree the idea was stupid. Getting involved in other peoples problems only ended in more trouble and if there was one thing that Naruto attracted without fail it was trouble.

"You're probably right."

Kiba snorted. "Damn right I am."

Sakura appeared from the tree line and was making her way slowly towards them.

"Finally! Women, ey? Can't live with em, can't live without." he shook his head and turned to the bike. Naruto smiled slightly as he watched Sakura. She rode the quad so precisely that it reminded him of the way she approached life. She was a perfectionist by heart, strong willed and so certain of what she wanted in life. She loved fiercely and she was like a terrier in the way that she sunk her teeth into things and never let go until she was satisfied. How then, was he supposed to tell her of the goings on between himself and Sasuke? She would never give up without a fight and there was no way she'd let go of Sasuke. How did he decide between what he wanted and what she wanted? He had no wish to hurt Sakura, for he loved her like a sister. But there came a point when you had to decide what was best for someone you cared for and what was best for your own well being, and Naruto was having a hard time drawing the line between the two. As she joined them, he turned away, knowing that most of his emotions were probably written on his face. The one that would give his secret away to her though, was the guilt.

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When they returned late that afternoon, Kiba and Sakura were arguing about nothing and everything all at once, and Naruto was aching all over. Kiba, being his usual and reckless self had taken a small rise too quickly and they'd both been sent flying. Miraculously, neither of them had been hurt seriously, save for a nice array of bruises. He wasn't feeling all that bad though. The fresh air, and the sun which had shown itself through the clouds had lifted his spirits, and he knew he could relax in the knowledge that he'd put in a good day of hard work and gotten something done.

Kakashi and Raidou were talking quietly as they rationed out the afternoon feeds.

"What happened to you two?" Raidou asked as they joined them, eyeing Kiba and Naruto. They were both covered in dirt, and had a few tears in their clothing.

"We uh..."

"Kiba's what happened, Raidou," Sakura replied grumpily. "You should have known that as soon as you gave him permission to ride that damn bike that he'd do something stupid. You should have seen them go flying."

"I suppose I should have," Raidou agreed mildly. "Are you both okay?"

"Of course," Kiba snorted.

Naruto only nodded.

"Good. Then you can take the wheel barrow and take this lot of feeds out to the far paddocks," Kakashi said to Kiba.

Kiba groaned.

"And don't make those feral noises at me. I've told you again and again that that bike is not for playing. Now, be a good boy and off you go now," Kakashi said with a wicked smile.

Kiba muttered and did as he was told.

"You have ten minutes!" Kakashi called out to Kiba's retreating back. "Staff meeting at four!"

"Another one?" Raidou asked with raised eye brows. "What's up?"

"Another pain in the ass is what's up." Kakashi muttered under his breath as he tipped another scoop of grain into the next empty bucket. "Naruto, why don't you go and clean up a bit? Dinners not far off and Iruka won't be pleased if you turn up like that."

"Are you whipped, Kashi? I never took you for the type," Raidou grinned.

"Shut it you. I hired you and I can just as easily fire you," Kakashi grumbled with no real threat. "Get going, Naruto. You have ten."

Naruto beat it before he could be told twice.

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Once he'd shed his clothes and cleaned off all the dirt, Naruto took stock of his injuries. A large bruise stretched along his ribs and down towards his left hip. That was obviously where he'd landed. Other than that, he had a bruised and slightly swollen knee and a scrape on his cheek where he'd made contact with a rock. He moved his jaw and winced at the ache it caused. In a way he felt sorry for Kiba, because he knew that Kakashi would be hard on him, if not for the next few hours then for the next day or so. Naruto bore no grudge though. He'd had fun. And he'd had worse falls and certainly more injuries. Like that time he's been bucked off and had dislocated his shoulder. Or cracked his head open on that fence. Or when that bay had kicked him in the chest, breaking his collar bone.

Yes, he certainly felt better, despite the worries weighing on his mind. If he could just stop thinking for awhile, and just go by what he was feeling instead, things would be infinitely more better. He wished he was more intuitive, and better looking, and not such a bad person. Then things would be better. And he'd feel worthy of Sasukes attentions.

As it was, he wasn't. He could do nothing less than put up with his faults and get on with his life.

He grimaced at his reflection then grinned slightly. If he looked at all the things he did have, instead of everything he didn't, he would be more happy. Naruto worked with good people, probably the best anyone could find. They cared for him like the family that had been taken away from him had. He worked with some of the most beautiful horses that he had ever seen, and it was his privilege to teach them, and let them teach him. He worked on a breath taking property, and he had his own space, somewhere he could call his own.

He could be content with that.

He was one of the first to arrive at the usual meeting place. The large oak tree near the wash bays behind the second stables had two tables and numerous chairs that were set up beneath them for lunch times and meetings. The only time they weren't used was during the wet season. But on the rare occasion when the weather was pleasant, it was the usual gathering place. Naruto sat himself down in one of the chairs and rested his chin in his hand as he stared across the outdoor arena towards the Uchiha mansion which was hidden from view by a strand of trees. What was Sasuke doing? Probably getting ready to go out with his friends. Or having dinner with his mother and Itachi.

What would it be like, he wondered, to live a life of such privilege? To live in a world where you could do anything, and have anything you wanted. He wondered if Sasuke ever got bored of having people do everything for him. If it were him, he knew he'd want his independence.

But if you grew up not knowing anything else, would you want that?

Maybe it was just another question he needed to answer if he wanted to get to know Sasuke better. But he was still unsure if wanted to. Maybe it would create more problems than answers.

"Hey you."

He jumped as Sakura plonked herself down beside him, and managed to smile at her all the while feeling guilty.

"What're you thinking about? You look so...gloomy."

"Oh...nothing really. Nothing important anyway." he lied.

"Kiba really did a number on your face didn't he?" Sakura asked critically. She grasped his chin and brushed gentle fingers over the graze on his cheek. "Did you clean it? It'll get infected if you don't."

"I already did." he answered as he carefully moved his face away from her touch. If she noticed, she said nothing about it. Having her touch him only made him feel that much more guilty about his deceit. "But thanks. For caring, I mean."

"Of course I do, silly," she smiled at him. "What's been bothering you Naruto? You've been...spaced out lately. As if you're lost up here." She tapped his forehead gently.

He shifted uncomfortably in his plastic chair and tried to come up with a satisfactory answer. Annoyingly, he came up blank.

"Well, when your ready to talk, you know where to find me." She yawned and rested her head against his shoulder companionably. "Man, I'm beat. What a day, huh?"

"Yeah. It's been a good one," he murmured distractedly.

There had been a time when he'd gone to Sakura and they'd talk about things for hours on end. He'd never really told her about what had happened to him before, but he'd talked about the small day to day problems that plagued him. In all honestly, he'd been lying to her from day one. He'd been lying to all his friends from the day he'd set foot on the property. A smile here, a small white lie there to cover up what was really wrong with him and no one was the wiser. Except Iruka who had become his secret confidant, and Kakashi who he was sure had a glimmering of the horrors of his past.

And that made him feel all the worse. He was getting tired of lying to the people he loved. It was tearing him up inside, but he was too afraid to do anything about it. The worst thing was that he wasn't sure that he could cover it all up for much longer. Days, weeks or months, he had no doubt that it would all come out sooner or later.

"Aww, how sweet. Should i get a camera?" Kiba laughed as he threw himself down in a chair opposite them.

"Shut the hell up Kiba," Sakura said with her eyes still closed. "I still haven't forgiven you."

"What's to forgive toots? I think its about time you loosened up a bit and removed that ten foot pole from your ass." Kiba grinned at her.

She sat up and glared at him. After that, Naruto managed to block out their noisy bickering quite easily. It wasn't long before they were joined before everyone else, bar Genma. Ten ten and Shikamaru sat apart from each other, Shikamaru staring up lazily at the cloud scudded sky and Ten ten pointedly joining in the argument between Sakura and Kiba. Raidou sat minding his own business and reading a magazine off to one side, content to just keep to himself. Naruto discreetly left Sakura's side and went to sit beside the scarred man. Raidou looked up and smiled at him.

"How're the rest of your injuries? Nothing too bad I hope."

"Nothing I can't handle," he replied quietly. He'd had worse in his time. Much worse.

Kakashi eventually showed up, whacking Kiba upside the head and telling him to put a lid on it before he did. Sakura stuck her tongue out at him behind Kakashi's back as the pale man hoisted himself up on one of the sturdy tables where he could see them all.

"Kiba, for the last time shut your mouth. And stop provoking Sakura or you'll be doing all of Genma's work as well yours," Kakashi said lazily. "Now, I've been talking to Sasuke-sama as well as Itachi-sama and they've informed me that they've decided to enter into the Southern Showmanship Competition this year. As some of you know, this is one of the most prestigious competitions in the country. A lot of the top most names in the horse world will either be riding or be represented in this competition. Sasuke and his friends will be riding this year, and Itachi wishes that some horses be entered on behalf of the Uchiha's this year."

A collective groan sounded from most but Naruto. They all knew what his meant. More work, longer hours and all the trouble that was involved with registering for the competition. And special training for the horses involved.

"That's enough of that. There will be compensation for extra hours worked, so don't act like you're so hard done by," Kakasho told them, crossing his arms.

"Well that's something at least," Kiba grumbled.

"I'll know within the next few days how many horses will be entered and which ones. I'll also need volunteers to be the ones riding in the competition. Don't rush into the decision, you have a few days to make up your minds. If we don't get enough volunteers we can always hire some riders. Now, we'd best get moving up to the house for supper before Iruka has our guts for garters."

Naruto stood slowly as they all began to leave. Kakashi turned to face him.

"You're okay, Naruto? Do you need Iruka to look at those injuries for you?" he asked, his visible eye sharp and penetrating.

"No, I'm really alright. I've just got to do something, and then I'll be right up."

"Don't be too long."

"I won't."

He might not be able to figure out what was going on in his life, but he did know that he needed some space to figure things out. And he could do that when Sasuke was around. He needed space and time to get his head around things, before he could even begin to start making decisions about what to do with Sasuke. And he also knew that despite everything, he needed to see Sasuke, and try to explain. The only way he could do that tonight was if he took those books that Sasuke had loaned to him, and pray that he hadn't gone out for the night. His mind made up, he ran back to his room.

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Somehow he managed to find his way to Sasuke's rooms. Nervously clutching the small pile of books to his chest, he rubbed his hair before knocking timidly on the impressive doors. How he'd managed to get here without being caught was beyond him. He was just relieved that he'd not gotten lost. His stomach was twisting itself into knots so badly that he felt almost nauseous, and he wanted so badly to run but it was too late now. In his mind he was cursing and calling himself a hundred kinds of fool, and just as he was about to leave, he heard a door open and footsteps approach. Gulping down his nervousness, he straightened in anticipation.

The door was yanked open, and he found himself facing not Sasuke but a blank faced Neji, who looked his up and down sharply.

"Yes?" he asked curtly.

"I...I was wondering if..." he began softly, lowering his eyes automatically.

"Who is it, Neji?" Sasuke called as he entered the small sitting room dressed in low riding jeans and a plain white singlet. "Naruto."

"Hi, Sasuke." he greeted timidly. "I just wondered if I could have a word. It won't take long."

"Let him in Neji. I'll only be a moment, Naruto."

Neji seemed reluctant to do so but he stepped back without a word, and Naruto slipped past him.

"You may as well follow me," Neji told him curtly, turning his back.

Naruto followed him at a safe distance into the room he had been enthralled with before; the one with all the books, Sasuke's artwork and the piano. Ino was lounging on one of the couches, he legs stretched out as she smoked and flipped through a magazine looking bored. She was dressed in a mini skirt and a top that showed a good portion of midriff, cleavage and back. Naruto averted his eyes, and regarded Neji out of the corner of his eye. The long haired man had collapsed on the couch opposite Ino and was flipping through the TV channels with the remote. Both looked ready to go out, and Naruto felt extremely uncomfortable and out of place as he stood quietly by the door, ready to flee if he needed to. He shouldn't have come, he knew that now. He definitely wouldn't have had he known that Ino and Neji would be present.

Careful not to look at them, he turned his gaze to the two sets of doors that led to the balcony. They stood open, letting the cool breeze in and making the white gauze curtains billow gently. He watched them mesmerized. This was definitely a place where he did not fit, where he could never fit. Even if he and Sasuke did make something of whatever it was they had, could he truly be content with a life like this? And it was clear that Sasuke had kept what was happening between them a secret. To not tell his two best friends about this illicite affair was confusing. Naruto wasn't about to make himself a target; he didn't want to be hurt if and when Sasuke got tired of him and threw him away.

_Too late, _a voice in his mind whispered. _You're too late._

And he was; if Sasuke did toss him aside, then he would be heartbroken. He cared too much about Sasuke to walk away unscathed. So now it was only a matter of damage control. If he couldn't get away pain free, then he could at least end it before it went any further. It was so clear to him as he stood there, so very alone, that he and Sasuke had no future. There was no way either of them could take it any further. And Naruto didn't want to live a life of lies and deceit any more. He didn't want to be running around behind everyone's back just to be with Sasuke, keeping secrets and covering it all up. He owed it to himself, as well as everyone else to try and be honest. So there was nothing more he could do but try to end things quietly.

Never had he felt more like crying.

Sasuke emerged and glanced at Ino and Neji before locking eyes with him as he approached. Before he could say anything though, Ino tossed her magazine down onto the coffee table.

"Can we go yet? I'm bored of hanging around here," she complained, watching Sasuke.

"In a minute Ino," Sasuke replied, with a bite of impatience in his voice.

"Whatever the servant has to say, it can't be all that important," she sneered as she looked at Naruto. "I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow right?"

And there it was. Yet another reason why it was impossible to be with Sasuke. He was a mere servant, and Sasuke was aristocracy. Sasuke had a big future waiting for him. Who was he to ruin that for him? Naruto looked down at the books in his arms, too ashamed to meet Sasuke's dark eyes.

"Ino. I said in a minute." Sasuke said sharply.

Ino pouted. Sasuke stopped in front of him and looked down at him, unsmiling.

"I...I just came to give you these back. I didn't mean to intrude." Naruto said in a low voice that only Sasuke would be able to hear.

The Uchiha took the books slowly.

"Thank you, Naruto."

"I should go. Thank you for lending them to me," Naruto stammered out, almost choking on suppressed tears. "...and I'm sorry...to interrupt."

With that, he bowed slightly, and backed out of the room. Once out of eye sight, he turned and walked as quickly as possible towards the exit. He heard someone following him and a door close and quickened his pace.

"Naruto."

Sasuke's voice was sharp, commanding. He stopped with his hand on the door handle and lowered his head as he sought control. Slowly he turned around, but he refused to raise his eyes.

Sasuke came to stand a few feet away.

"Naruto look at me," he commanded.

Naruto had no choice but to obey; he raise his head and met those dark eyes, preying that his pain and his tears weren't visible. Sasuke was scrutinizing him closely, his dark eyes unreadable.

"You shouldn't take any notice of them." he said quietly, his voice coloured with something he didn't recognise.

Naruto smiled, even though it killed him. "But she's right. You're a Uchiha. And I'm nothing but a stable hand."

There was a flash of anger in his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"I'm sorry Sasuke..." Naruto whispered as the first tears began to fall. "...I can't do this. It's not...fair. And it's not right. I'm sorry."

Having said that, he pulled the door open and fled as fast as his feet could take him. All the way down the staircases, down to the first floor, hardly taking any notice of where he was going. Tears blurred his vision, so much so that when he cleared the last few steps to the first floor, he crashed into some one. He staggered slightly, but kept running.

Before he knew it, he had thrown himself face down on his bed, and was muffling his sobs into his pillow. Eventually, he ran out of tears, and energy, and he fell into sleep without realizing it.

He may have run out of tears, but his heart still cried its own silent tears, trying to scream its way out of his chest.

* * *

The Southern Showmanship Competition (how crap is that name!) is a competition which I thought up off the top of my head. If there is a competition so named out there, then this is a freaky coincidence!

Next few chapters contain a fight between Sasuke and Naruto, a discovery, and the introduction of a few new horses.

Finally!! This story is moving somewhere. We're approaching halfway point, folks, and I'd appreciated any feedback you can give me! I live off your praise!!!!

Thanks for reading, and I hope it lived up to your expectations!


	18. Be Gentle With Me

**Disclaimer: **MINE!! Mine mine mine!!!! Or not.

**Warnings: **The usual. Swearing, Angst, Yaoi and subjects which could offend some readers.

**AN: **I know, I know, it's literally been months since I've updated this story. I really have no excuse. But at least now, I'm determined to get a move on and finish this story! Thanks for all your encouragements and kicks in the behind, and I hope this very belated update meets your satisfactions!

* * *

_**Chapter 17: Be Gentle With Me**_

_Pale-faces and hollowed eyes_

_Buried under ruptured skies_

_Not every smile_

_means I'm laughing inside_

_Two-faced and compromised_

_I've enraptured you with lies_

_Everything means nothing_

_and tonight everything is mine_

From the Bottom of My Heart by the Wallflowers

_-_

Ten ten was tired and angry and more frustrated then she could ever remember being. Shikamaru, the only man she had ever met that could infuriate her so much was also the one who held her heart in his hand. And not only did he seem to not realize it, but he seemed not to even spare her a second thought. That was enough to make her want to cry.

She'd had enough of trying to be nice to everyone at dinner, so she had made excuses, claiming that she wasn't feeling all that well, and had slipped away. She needed time alone before she snapped at some undeserving soul.

What she really needed though, was a long hot bubble bath, some quiet music and a good book to make her forget Shikamaru for awhile.

Now that she was alone, she had calmed down considerably. What made things doubly as hard though, was the fact that everyone knew what was going on between her and Shika. It was hard enough trying to get a guy interested enough to make a move, but it made it even harder being in the spotlight 24/7.

The hall was dark, and as she rounded the corner, someone slammed into her, sending her staggering back. Alarmed and disorientated, she let out an undignified squeak as she regained her balance.

Bewildered, she stared after Naruto's fleeing figure and wondered what in the world was going on.

"Naruto?" She called uncertainly.

Surely she hadn't been the only one who had noticed that he had been acting strangely lately. And had those been tears on his face? Why would Naruto be crying? And why had he been...upstairs of all place?

Her own worries forgotten for the moment, she decided to follow in the direction that Naruto had retreated in.

It wasn't long before she found herself outside Naruto's closed bedroom door. For a moment she concentrated hard, listening for something, anything to indicate that he was in some kind of distress.

When she didn't hear anything, she went to turn away, but a muffled noise halted her in her tracks. When she heard it again she was certain.

Naruto was crying.

Tenten bit her lip. She desperately wanted to go in and comfort him, to find out what was wrong and to try and fix things for him, but she had been told numerous times by both Iruka and Kakashi that unless Naruto offered or came to her for help, she shouldn't intrude upon his privacy. In fact, they'd all been told. It had aroused a lot of curiosity about her soft-spoken friend, but they had all managed to give him his privacy.

It hadn't taken a genius to figure out that something bad had happened in his past. One of the hardest things to witness was a friend in pain and knowing that you couldn't help them was worse.

Very reluctantly, and with her heart screaming at her to turn back, Tenten left quietly. Whatever was wrong with him, she'd have to figure out on her own and quietly. If there was anything she could do to help unobtrusively, then she would do it.

But what had made him cry?

-----

Sasuke glared at the canvas before him as if it had personally insulted him. He'd been full of pent up energy and anger all night, and he knew that there was no point in trying to sleep. He'd gone out with Ino and Neji, and tried not to show them how thoroughly pissed off he was with them. He'd danced with a few hot chicks, and even a few guys too. But his heart hadn't been in it at all. All he could think of was those eyes, those haunting, empty eyes, and the tears that had filled them. And that golden hair that shone like sun-kissed wheat. That smooth, tanned skin that just begged to be touched, and kissed.

It was those eyes that he couldn't get out of his mind.

Inwardly he cursed the day he had met Naruto. Things were spiraling out of control, and if there was one thing Sasuke hated, it was not knowing what was coming at him head on. That was Naruto's fault. He had blinded him to everything clear and simple. He sucked the simplicity out of everything and turned his world into one tangle of complications. That's what he was, Sasuke decided as he threw his paint brush down. He was some kind of demented vampire. Not dark, no. Not cruel or evil or anything of the kind. He imagined that Naruto was incapable of anything even remotely mean spirited. No, Naruto was like a vortex. A black hole that churned everything around and turned it upside down.

Sasuke surveyed the canvas before him as he contemplated the decidedly non-evilness of Naruto's vampire-like ways.

Before him, the eyes of the young woman he was painting were dead. His art lacked life, lacked the emotion that they had once held. And once again, it was Naruto's fault. He had to get this art series finished if he had any chance of passing his Art course. And not only was it no where near finished, but his subject matter had burned out on him as well. The models he used for his artworks were real people. People he knew from university. People he saw on the street. People he slept with. That was the great thing about going to University on the other side of the country. You could be who you wanted, do what you wanted, within moderation of course. Sasuke had found that all those years of suppression he had suffered through had meant nothing in the outside world.

So he went out. He smoked, and drank and had sex. Lots of it too. But nowadays, his appetite for that had disappeared as well. He hadn't been back home in so long, that he had forgotten so many things. He had forgotten about just how much his brother got on his nerves. He had forgotten the softness of his mothers arms, and the way he could wander around the mansion and still feel like he was intruding upon somewhere he shouldn't be. He had also forgotten the overwhelming beauty of the estate he had grown up on. The way the trees towered in the morning light, the way the mist drifted amongst the great trunks as if moved by something otherworldly. The way the sunrise turned the horizon gold and pink. Sasuke could not remember a time when he had been here and had not been torn between love and spite. He loved the estate, loved spending time with the horses and with his mother, but he could not help but feel suppressed. As if he was trapped in a place where he didn't want to be.

He had his father to thank for that. His dominating presence and strict adherence to what was proper had never failed to rub Sasuke the wrong way. The mere though of his father made his blood boil. And not only that, but his father had soured this place for him. Like a bad odor that would not go away, the only place he felt anything close to peace was when he was riding.

It had always been that way. From a young age, he had been taught to ride. It had been instilled within him that horse riding was befitting of a man in his position. It was a recreation for the rich, something that was dignified, and worthy of respect. Sasuke believed that that was a load of bullshit. What he hadn't been taught though, was the love that he felt for the horses he rode. They were uncomplicated. Easy to understand if you knew what to look for. In fact, the only time he had ever felt anything like freedom was on horse back. Flying over jumps, or just walking, riding was his escape.

As was painting. But now he had to admit to himself that his paintings had lost the edge that had made them so unique, so captivating. He needed to get it back if he had any hope of graduating with a half decent grade in the subject. Art was yet another thing that his father saw as necessary to one with his breeding. Art was something for the rich. Which was also bullshit.

Art was emotion. Art was everything around him, if only it could be seen without judgment. Without prejudice.

That's what Sasuke was trying to convey to his audience. Although his portraits were in black and white, it was impossible for the viewer to confuse that with the depths of raw emotions in those that he painted. The message that he was conveying was that emotions could not be measured. They weren't as black and white as some believed the world was.

Naruto was evidence of that. Never had he come across someone who was...so in tune with what they were feeling. And never had he seen that kind of depth of emotion in anyone before. Sasuke saw that for the curse that it was though. Naruto must feel everything, every twinge every tiny little wound that was inflicted. And he wasn't the type of person to forget a hurt. No, he was more vulnerable than anyone he had ever met before. And if he was honest with himself, that depth of emotion made him uneasy. It wasn't natural for things to be as amplified as they were to Naruto.

It made him wonder though. What had happened to make him that way? Surely he hadn't always been like that? Naruto had the most beautiful smile. And those eyes...

His anger with the nights event temporarily forgotten, Sasuke discarded his half finished work, and set a blank canvas on the easel. His hand moved with a mind of its own, dipping into the pools of paint, and sliding effortlessly over the canvas, needing no guidance.

Before he knew it, a pair of the bluest eyes was looking back at him. Sasuke was enthralled...

-

The next morning, his mind was made up. There was no way he could let things end like this. And there was definitely no way he was letting Naruto get away with such a crappy excuse as the one he had given last night. If there was one thing that Sasuke couldn't care less about, it was rank and propriety. No, there was no way he was letting something his father had drummed into his head get in his way.

He had stayed up late painting. At three in the morning, he had fallen into bed with a half finished painting in the other room and a head full of half finished thoughts. It was late morning when he woke. No doubt Ino and Neji were still in bed, sleeping off their hangovers.

Sasuke, however, shoved himself off of his bed and stripped off last nights sweaty clothes. The shower in his bathroom was glass, and soon the room was cloudy with steam as he had a hot shower to wash away all the residue of last nights unpleasantness.

He had known, when he had looked into Naruto's eyes last night, that it wasn't what either of them wanted. Neither of them wanted to be together, but neither of them wanted to be apart. Sasuke had a knack for reading people. But there was one person he couldn't read and that was Naruto. Naruto intrigued him. He played games with his head, he never let Sasuke rest with those eyes of his. He was an enigma to Sasuke, and one he fully intended to figure out. He wasn't sure how far this thing would go, nor was he sure how far he wanted it to go, but he damn well knew that it hadn't ended yet.

Sasuke found Naruto in the stable yard talking to a scarred face man (Raidou?) as they inspected a chestnuts raised hoof together. He had somehow managed to evade attending a meeting with Itachi and some of his father's associates. Heaven forbid he insult some of his father's more respectable clients with his bad temper. Not only would Itachi flay him alive verbally, but he would probably get into a major bust up with his father, and that was the last thing he needed.

Upon seeing Naruto, however, he felt his anger rekindle, and he knew that this wouldn't be as easy as he'd thought it would be.

Let it not be said that Sasuke was unaware of the his own limits

Both Naruto and the scarred man looked up when he pulled his convertible into the courtyard. There was no mistaking the unmasked terror in Naruto's face as he stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut. It had not been his intention to upset Naruto, but now he saw that he had no choice if he was to really get through to him.

He was in for a rough time.

-

Naruto felt his heart constrict with unbridled fear when he saw Sasuke step out of the car. The Uchiha's face was set in s fierce scowl, and there was no mistaking the anger in his eyes, or in the set of his jaw.

Naruto set the chestnuts hoof down gently and straightened. Raidou frowned and followed the direction of his gaze. When he saw Sasuke though, understanding dawned on his face, and he took the lead rope from his hand.

"I'll put her away. You just deal with him. Call if you need help," he murmured in his ear.

Naruto could do nothing but nod dumbly as he watched Sasuke stalking towards him.

He was angry alright, and if the way he was stalking towards Naruto as if he were his prey was anything to go by, all of that anger was directed towards him. And he was not ashamed to admit to himself that he was terrified.

When Sasuke was angry though, he was impressive. His eyes spat fire at anything he laid eyes on, and the tension that ran through his body was invigorating and exciting. Sasuke was like a god of thunder as he joined Naruto.

For a moment, he just stared down at him, not saying anything.

When Naruto finally worked up the courage to open his mouth to say something, Sasuke beat him to it.

"You're coming with me today. I think there's some things we need to clear up," he said coldly.

Naruto shivered inwardly. Although he was scared of what was going to happen, something was telling him that Sasuke would never hurt him, and would never lay a hand on him in anger. Despite everything, he knew he would be safe within his presence. But his heart might not be and that was what he was afraid of.

And even though he was afraid, something within him was alight with a breath-taking excitement. Even he could admit that Sasuke was sexy when he was angry. That didn't stop him from being afraid though, nor did it stop him from protesting. He knew that they needed to be apart, if they were going to change things between them.

Inside he knew that Sasuke wouldn't let this go without a fight, and he resigned himself to turning Sasuke down as best as he could. He wasn't sure if he could withstand the storm that Sasuke would bring to him.

"But I have work..." he protested feebly.

"I've talked to Kakashi. He's covered you for the rest of the day. You're coming with me," Sasuke replied grimly. Having said that, he grasped Naruto's arm and led him towards his car.

There was no way Naruto could fight against Sasuke; he was stronger than he was, and there was no way he could get out of whatever confrontation was coming their way.

Naruto had no choice but to follow. He took two steps to every one of Sasuke's. And while Sasuke's grip on his arm wasn't painful, it was tight. He didn't have the nerve to try and pull away, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Sasuke opened the passenger door and let go of his arm.

"Get in."

Naruto hesitated for the smallest of seconds before he did as he was told. The stony look on Sasuke's face told him that there was no way he'd accept no for an answer.

Meekly, he did as he was told and slid past Sasuke into the passenger seat of the expensive convertible.

The Uchiha slammed the door with a little more force than necessary and strode around the hood of the car. He joined Naruto in the car still carrying that brooding silence that set Naruto's teeth on edge. The engine started with a smooth purr, and before Naruto knew it, they had turned in a neat circle and were speeding off down the road that lead to the house.

His heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach churned uneasily. Naruto found he couldn't look at Sasuke, so he looked out the window instead, and watched as they passed the majestic beauty of the mansion.

The trees on either side of the long driveway that led to the gates were ever greens, and their color was a refreshing change from the gloomy gray backdrop the sky created.

Neither of them spoke a word as Sasuke pulled the car out onto the road and stepped on the accelerator. The road upon which the Uchiha's estate opened onto was a beautiful country road lined on one side by a forest and on the other side (once you got past the wall of the Uchiha estate) was a view of beautiful rolling hills. Every now and then another estate would break the view of those break taking hills, but the Uchiha Estate was by far one of the biggest country estates any family could boast of.

Sasuke reached an intersection and took the road that lead away from the town. This country road continued its winding course up towards the hills. It stretched out along the summit of those hills for a few miles, and wound it's way towards the distant mountains. The forests that covered those mountains was mystical, and peaceful, and could make anyone's heart feel at ease. In the mountains several of the most luxurious resorts and hotels resided, popular getaways for the rich and the famous.

It seemed that Sasuke did have a destination in mind, so Naruto keep quiet, unwilling to break the tense silence between them.

He risked a glance at Sasuke though, out of the corner of his eye. The dark haired man seemed to be lost within his thoughts, his eyes slightly narrowed at he maneuvered the car smoothly around the many twists and turns.

Soon they were upon the crests of the hills, and Naruto turned to look out the window.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably on the clean leather of the passenger seat. He was still wearing his work jeans, and a old button down dark blue top that had once belonged to his father, so it hung on his frame loosely. He wore a white shirt underneath, so he wasn't cold in the air-conditioned car. His work boots were caked in dust, and he had never sat in a nicer car than Sasukes before. He felt bad about dirtying the sharp smelling leather interior of the car though, so he subtly checked to see if he was spreading dirt around.

"I um...I'm sorry about getting your car dirty," Naruto offered tentatively, hoping to soothe some of Sasuke's anger away.

Sasuke turned a contemptuous eye towards him before turning back to the road again.

"I don't care." he replied shortly. "It's just a car."

Naruto was couldn't say that he was surprised by the abrupt answer; if he hadn't learned by then that Sasuke seemed to hold any stereotyping that applied to his class in extreme disregard, then he would have been the stupidest person alive. Really, he wasn't even sure why he'd said it. Trying to break the ice with Sasuke seemed to be impossible.

Naruto was reduced to sitting in silence and looking out the window. The minutes stretched on uncomfortably, and Naruto clasped his hands together to try and hide the way they were trembling. He wished fervently to be back at the stables, where everything made sense and where the people were easier to understand than the enigmatic man sitting beside him.

"We're here."

Naruto jumped at the sound of Sasuke's voice and sat up straighter to look around. He was rather surprised to find that Sasuke had pulled into a small, deserted look out just off the main road.

Sasuke cut the engine and opened his door.

"Get out."

A thousand things were running through his mind. Kiba's voice was echoing in his mind, telling him that if Sasuke wanted to dispose of his body, here would be the perfect place. Naruto cursed himself once more for following Sasuke. He knew that there was no way Sasuke would hurt him, but he couldn't help the nerves building in his stomach.

Slowly following Sasuke's lead, he opened the door and scrambled out, closing the door rather loudly after him and leaning self-consciously against the car.

Sasuke had rounded the hood of his car and came to stand in front of him.

"Naruto. Look at me." he commanded, his voice hard.

Naruto complied immediately, looking up into flinty eyes that bored into him.

"If I ever hear another word similar to those you spoke to me yesterday come out of your mouth, I will personally make sure you live to regret it."

He was regretting it already, but knew better than to say anything.

"I would have hoped that by now you would have been able to understand that I don't care about rank or propriety," Sasuke snapped, anger seething from him.

He was honestly shocked; this was the most open that he had ever seen Sasuke. Uchiha's never displayed emotions, and they never, ever let anyone catch a glimpse of the kind of raw anger he was seeing from Sasuke.

If he was so upset...so angry because of what Naruto had said last night, did that mean that he was honestly upset? That maybe he genuinely did care about Naruto and what he thought? Or was he simply upset that Naruto had slighted him and denied him something that he wanted?

The more he thought about the last option, the more unlikely it seemed. Maybe Sasuke really did care about him then?

"Sasuke, I..."

Sasuke glared at him. "You might care what others think, but I don't. If I ever hear you talk about yourself or me like that again, I swear to god I'll..."

"Sasuke..."

"Just...shut up, Naruto."

Naruto backed up a little more so his back was pressed against the cool metal of the car as Sasuke stepped into his personal space.

"I don't care what they think. I just want..."Sasuke murmured, his eyes softening as they drifted over his face.

"What do you want from me?" Naruto finally managed to blurt, trying not to get distracted by the heat Sasuke's body was radiating. "I..I mean, where is this going? Surely you know..." he paused to swallow. "Surely you know that there's no future in this. In me."

He jumped when warm fingers caressed his cheek and slid up to entwine in his hair.

"Naruto...you're always thinking. Always over analyzing things. Can't you just...live in the moment with me?" Sasuke said quietly. "Just feel me here, as I am. Don't worry about the future for once. Let's just live in the moment and see where it takes us."

Sasuke's words washed over him like music, and he wondered if Sasuke had ever considered writing poetry. He had a gift with words, and whenever Naruto was with him, he found it impossible to doubt this beautiful man standing before him. No, it was when they were apart that he started to doubt whatever it was between them.

But when Sasuke was touching him, pressed against him like he was, and whispering words that had more wealth that any gold to him, there was no way he could refuse. Nor did he want to. He wanted Sasuke, and he wanted what they could have together.

"Okay."

"Sorry?" Sasuke pulled back slightly, frowning. Naruto hesitantly reached a hand up and curled it around a solid forearm.

"I said okay," he said more firmly, meeting Sasuke's gaze.

A slow smile curled Sasuke's full mouth, and banished his remaining anger.

"Good. I'm glad."

Naruto returned his smile shyly, and lowered his gaze as he tentatively rubbed his thumb over Sasuke's bare skin.

He jumped once more when Sasuke's fingers brushed over the graze on his cheek gently.

"Does it hurt?"

Mutely, Naruto shook his head, still trying to wrap his head around what had just taken place. He had to fight to stop from smiling. He felt lighter than he could ever remember, as if the cloud of sorrow and pain that followed him around had been banished.

"How'd it happen?"

"I uh...I fell. Off one of the dirt bikes."

Sasuke nodded, and trailed his fingers down to his lips. Naruto shuddered as the pad of his thumb brushed over his lower lip. He barely had time to register Sasuke's soft smile as before he was being thoroughly kissed.

All he could do was respond as Sasuke enveloped him in his arms. His lips were warm and softer than he remembered, his slightly spicy scent surrounded him in a hazy cloud of warmth.

Sasuke was asking for entrance and he granted it with all his heart, welcoming Sasuke into his heart and his life.

-

"I've got to get back to work soon," Naruto told Sasuke quietly, as Sasuke turned another corner.

The quiet was much more comfortable now, and Naruto was still buzzing pleasantly from the fire of Sasuke embrace.

"No you don't," Sasuke replied as he stepped on the accelerator and sped off down the road, negotiating the corners with a speed that made Naruto's heart race unpleasantly. He noticed Sasuke smiling and hid one of his own by turning to look out the window.

"What?"

"I talked Kakashi into giving you the rest of the day off," Sasuke explained, finally slowing down when they came upon the entrance of the Bellavista, one of the most expensive hotels on this side of the country. Naruto's heart sped up even further as he swallowed nervously. They weren't...were they? He glanced at Sasuke once more, to find him still smiling. He was captivated by the transformation, and felt himself flush heatedly.

Sasuke's eyes were twinkling in a way that made him melt. They were pools of dark warmth and a light he hadn't seen in them before. Naruto hoped that it wasn't the last time he saw him smile. It was like the sun coming out after months of pouring rain.

"So..uh..what are we doing then?"

"We're having lunch." Sasuke replied as he drove up the majestic driveway.

"_Here?"_ Naruto couldn't help but exclaim, as he look up at the towering majesty of the sandstone hotel, with its enormous windows and marble fountains.

"Yes here." Sasuke's voice was colored with laughter, which was directed at him, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to care.

He was mortified. These places had strict dress codes, and he wasn't...he was dressed in second hand clothes covered in dust and sweat. He was wearing boots!!! Work boots! There was no way he could...

"Can't we go somewhere more...casual?" he asked Sasuke, trying not to sound like he was pleading. "I mean, it's expensive, and I'd be fine with a hamburger or something."

Sasuke slowed the car to a halt and put the hand brake on before unbuckling his belt and turning to look at him.

"They do hamburgers here if you want one."

Naruto shifted in his seat and looked down once more at his dirty clothes.

"That's not...the point."

Sasuke laughed openly at this as he opened him door.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. You look fine."

Naruto followed Sasuke's lead and climbed out of the car, trying not to die of embarrassment as a man dressed in a smart blue suit stepped over to Sasuke and carefully avoided looking at him. Naruto looked out over the landscaped gardens, flushing with humiliation.

A few moments later, Sasuke joined him, as his car was driven off. Naruto glanced over his shoulder as Sasuke gently took his elbow and guided him up the polished marble steps.

"You have nothing to worry about," he murmured in Naruto's ear as the door man opened the door for them, and they stepped into the lavishly decorated entrance hallway..

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, nervously as he noticed several expensively dressed men and women staring openly at him. "I don't want to get you in trouble..."

"I thought we'd discussed the whole not caring about what other people think thing," Sasuke replied with a raised eyebrow. "It's fine Naruto. My father is one of the benefactors of this place. We can do whatever we want in this place, and they won't complain. I'm sure they can put up with someone who does a decent days work for a little while. If not, then they can shove it."

"Mr. Uchiha," a pleasantly smiling older gentleman dressed immaculately in a black business suit approached them. Naruto stepped slightly behind Sasuke, hoping to hide his ratty appearance a little. "I have your table reserved and waiting for you and your guest. If you'll kindly follow me, I'll get you settled."

"Thank you."

"That's Mr Ayumu. He's one of the managers here," Sasuke murmured quietly to him. Naruto nodded in response, and self consciously latched onto the back of Sasuke's shirt.

They were led into a practically deserted dining room that over looked a large pond and rolling lawns. The table itself was set for two, with polished silver cutlery and perfect folded napkins. The manager seated them, and handed them two menu's before disappearing discretely.

Naruto's gaze, however was caught on the magnificent chandelier.

"Like it?" Sasuke's voice was colored with amusement.

Naruto glanced at him, before looking back at it once more.

"It's beautiful."

"That chandelier cost 10 million." Sasuke informed him quietly. "My father donated it."

"Wow..." Naruto knew he was gaping and he turned back to look at Sasuke once more. "This whole place is..."

"Exotic? Yes, I know. Mother likes to come here sometimes. It's nice enough, I suppose. " Sasuke shrugged. "Why don't we order? I have some things I'd like to talk about."

Naruto swallowed and nodded, gingerly picking up his menu and trying to focus enough to read.


	19. The Beautiful Side of Somewhere

**Disclaimer**: Naruto and it's characters belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings: **Shounen ai/yaoi, angst, swearing, etc. The usual.

* * *

**Chapter 18: **_The Beautiful Side of Somewhere_

"Um...Sasuke?" Naruto spoke up timidly.

Sasuke looked up from his menu and raised his eyebrows in question. Naruto smiled hesitantly at him and shifted once more in his seat. He had a feeling that Sasuke was getting a little annoyed at his shiftiness, and made a conscious effort to sit still.

"I don't...I don't know what half of this stuff is," he admitted, feeling his cheeks bloom with new color.

Sasuke appraised him for a moment before glancing back down at the menu. There was no judgment in his eyes though, so Naruto felt a little reassured about the whole thing.

"How about you let me order for you," Sasuke suggested. "Soup? Pasta? Or maybe that burger you suggested earlier."

There was a twinkle in his eye that made Naruto look down shyly.

"Anything. I don't really mind."

"Okay then." Sasuke closed his menu decisively and signaled a waiter.

The waiter bowed when he arrived at their table.

"How can I help you, sirs?"

"Two burgers with the lot please. With a side of fries and garden salad." Sasuke replied promptly, looking at Naruto as he handed over the menu's.

"Anything to drink?"

"Two cokes please."

The waiter nodded, and left them.

Naruto tucked his hands under his legs and hunched forward slightly, studying the intricate patterned stitched into the white table cloth. Sasuke was...He was so different from the person he was used to seeing at the estate. He wondered if this was the real Sasuke he was seeing, and if the man he knew from home was just a cover for this...warmer version of Sasuke.

"So uh...you mentioned you wanted to talk about something?" Naruto ventured after a few minutes of silence. Sasuke turned from looking out the window and looked at him, his face devoid of emotion once more. Naruto straightened a little as Sasuke sat forward, resting his elbows on the table.

"Yes, I did. I take it that you've heard of my intention to enter the Southern Showmanship Competition this year."

Naruto nodded, the meeting from yesterday still fresh in his memory.

"You'll be riding Taira?"

Sasuke nodded. "I will. But I'm also thinking of purchasing a second horse, and that's where you come in."

"You want me to help you select a horse?" Naruto questioned doubtfully.

"I do. But not only pick one out, but train it too. And ride it for me in the competition."

Naruto's stiffened in his chair.

"Wha...you mean...actually compete? Sasuke...I'm not sure that's..."

"If you're worried about controversy, then you needn't. I've requested that Kakashi select two other stable hands to also compete. We don't have enough time to find and hire suitable professional riders. It's the only option we have at the moment," Sasuke interrupted him.

"But Sasuke...are you sure? I mean, I've ridden competitively before but never...never at the level we're talking about now." Naruto tried to quell the self-doubt and nervousness in his gut as he fiddled with his napkin. "I'm not sure..."

"From what I've heard, you've got more than enough talent. And you're an excellent trainer. So what's the problem?" Sasuke's gaze was probing. "Could it be that you don't want to work that closely with me? Because if that's what the problem is, then I can assure you that I won't interfere with you when you're working."

"It's not that," Naruto shifted uncomfortably.

The implications of what Sasuke was proposing were plenty and varied. The first and foremost being that he wasn't sure if he could control himself around Sasuke for such extended periods of time. The second being that he wasn't sure how discrete either one of them could be. If the others weren't suspicious already of what was going on between them, then they definitely would know something was up if he accepted. And he wasn't sure if he could deal with that. Not when what they had together was so new.

But the real reason was that he wasn't sure if he was good enough to ride at such a high level. Sure, he'd ridden many competitions before, but that had been years ago. And this was a televised event to boot.

Not to mention that he would have to get to know the new horse and train it as well.

"Then what is it?" Sasuke asked, gently probing.

"Sasuke...it's a big responsibility. I really don't think that I can. I mean..." Naruto was frustrated at himself for not having the words he needed to convey what he meant. Sometimes it really bothered him, not being able to function like a normal person. How hard could it be to speak the words that were tumbling around in his mind?

He frowned, and tried not to work himself up too much in front of Sasuke.

"So that's what the problem is," Sasuke had been studying him intently as he spoke. He reached across the table and covered Naruto's hand with his own.

"You have nothing to fear, Naruto. We'll take it one step at a time. You don't have to give me an answer now. First we'll find a suitable horse. Then we'll get you started on training it. And if you still don't want to do it, then we'll talk about finding someone else okay?"

It sounded like a sensible solution. And if he had time to think about it, then maybe it wouldn't be so daunting to him. Besides, this could be the step forward that he had been looking for. One more step towards the future, one step away from his past.

Exhaling slowly, he nodded in agreement, focusing on the warmth of Sasuke's hand on his own. It felt so...right. So natural. Was that what it was supposed to be like? Was it supposed to feel so easy to be with someone?

When it was just them together, with no one else around, he actually felt like it was the easiest thing in the world to be with Sasuke. When the world didn't get in the way, then he felt like he could be like this for the rest of his life, and he liked the thought of that.

"Okay," he breathed, finally looking up at Sasuke once more. "So what do we do now? What kind of horse are you looking for?"

"Right now? Right now we eat." Sasuke sat back, slowly sliding his hand away as the waiter appeared with their food. "After that, I have a few people in mind that might be able to help."

-

Naruto gaped in awe as they pulled up the long sweeping driveway of the Riverview Stables. The place had the reputation for breeding some of the most valuable and prestigious race horses and competition winners in the entire country.

Naruto had never even set eyes on the place before, and the prospect of actually talking to the people who worked there was daunting. His father had held the place with great regard when he had been alive, and Naruto had seen the evidence for himself. Every horse he had seen that had been bred here had been exceptionally beautiful, with excellent turn out.

"You...we aren't seriously..." he began, looking at Sasuke in surprise.

"Yes we are. We've often bought horses from this place. Regale was bought here. And so was Constantino."

"I didn't know that."

"The horse I would have bought instead of Taira was born here," Sasuke informed him, as he parked the car underneath a strand of beautiful oak trees. "I've been asking around about horses with potential, and the owner of this place contacted me about a horse he has for sale. I thought we'd have a look at him before we headed back."

Naruto nodded as he climbed out of the car once more. He looked around at the green fields with the white painted fences, and the long driveway lined with old towering trees.

The stables were kept immaculately clean, much like the ones at the Uchiha estate. Naruto breathed deeply, taking in the familiar scent of clean horse and fresh hay. The place was bustling with activity, and Naruto stuck close to Sasuke as he led the way through the stable yard. A stocky man with a great bushy mustache was approaching them.

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Misoru Kota."

"This is Uzamaki Naruto," Sasuke introduced as the two shook hands. "He'll be the one training the horse."

The man nodded, and looked Naruto over speculatively. "I haven't heard of you before. The names familiar though."

Naruto swallowed, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"You might have heard of my father. Uzamaki Arashi?"

The man clicked his fingers, smiling widely. "Ah, that's right! I remember him now. Tall fellow, hair like yours?"

Naruto nodded and looked down at the ground. He felt Sasuke's hand settle on his lower back, and was grateful for the silent support.

"If you please, Mr Kota, we'd like to have a look at the gelding you mentioned yesterday." Sasuke interrupted coolly, his facade back in place. It was a fascinating thing to watch really, and one that jolted Naruto when he wasn't expecting the startling transformation.

"Of course, Mr Uchiha. This way, if you please."

The man turned and led the way into the barn. Naruto followed Sasuke slowly, as he regained his equilibrium.

A warm hand wrapped around his arm and urged him forward. He stumbled slightly as he was drawn to Sasuke's side. Sasuke kept his hand under Naruto's elbow, and it was all he could do not to focus solely on the point of contact.

"Here he is," the man announced proudly when they came to a halt in front of a large stable.

Inside was a medium sized chestnut, who looked over his shoulder at them curiously for a moment before approaching them. He was a pretty thing, obviously young, and splendidly built.

"He's a Swedish Warm blood. Four years old and mostly trained for dressage. He's got a gentle temperament, and good strong gaits. Comes from one of my best lines," Mr Kota said proud, patting the gelding on the neck. Sasuke was running critical eyes over the animal.

Naruto stepped forward, and offered his hands for sniffing. The gelding, nudged them curiously before lipping them gently and moving on to inspect his shirt sleeve.

He was a beautiful animal, but Naruto could already tell that he was entirely unsuited for Sasuke. He had a gentle temperament, and would not be a very competitive horse at all. Naruto knew that to compete in competitions such as the ones Sasuke wanted to, the horse needed to have drive and a strong competitive streak.

This gelding seemed to be lacking in those departments, but he would be a perfect horse for more nervous riders, with his steady temperament.

"Would you like me to get him out for you?"

Sasuke nodded sharply, still not saying anything, but Naruto could tell that Sasuke already knew he would be buying the gelding.

Naruto stepped backwards as the owner set about slipping on a rope halter and leading the gelding out.

"What do you think?" Sasuke asked him quietly as the horse was led and walked around.

"He's got good lines. And a nice temperament," Naruto replied, moving closer to him so he wouldn't have to raise his voice. "He's inexperienced though. Might not be so good for what you need him for."

"You can say it Naruto. I won't bite," Sasuke said bluntly.

Naruto tried to halt the small smile that threatened.

"I don't think you're suited to each other. And I don't think we have enough time to condition him to what we need him for."

"That's what I thought." Sasuke nodded. He straightened up as Mr Kota led the chestnut back towards them. "Why don't you have a wander around and see if there's anything else with potential while I distract him."

Naruto nodded in agreement and drifted away as Sasuke started to discuss something with the owner.

All the horses were large, and healthy in their stalls. Some of the mares were heavily pregnant, and he spared a few moments to give each of them a pet. But there was no horses there that really stood out. Sure, some of them would have been great for competition riders, and a lot were highly praised for their winnings, but he knew that Sasuke liked flashy horses, horses with large personalities that were unique in their own right. And he had noticed that Sasuke liked a challenge with his horses.

The early afternoon sun was bright and warm on his skin. He was full and he was warm, and he was with Sasuke. He wasn't sure if he had felt this...normal in a long time. He looked up at the sky above, and wondered what would be waiting for him when he got home. Maybe he'd curl up in his room and go to sleep. The perfect end to one of the best days he could remember having.

A shrill whinny cut the peaceful quiet, and he looked up to see an impressive display of agility from a blood bay in a round yard off to his left.

The horse was on a lunging rein, and the trainer in the center of the yard was trying desperately to get the animal to calm down. The horse was plunging and shying violently, obviously having been frightened by something.

It was a striking animal, with black legs, a dark muzzle and a flowing black mane and tail, whilst it's body, neck and most of it's face were a deep red chestnut.

Naruto was captivated by the horse, and found himself moving closer. The trainer had somehow managed to get the horse to stand, and had moved to stand by the creatures head. The horse was obviously still agitated, tossing it's head and stamping irritably.

"What's it's name?" he asked the young girl who was stroking the bay's neck soothingly.

The blond girl looked at him before smiling up at the large horse.

"Her name is Sora." the girl replied.

Naruto stopped at the fence and rested his arms on the railing.

"She's beautiful."

"She is isn't she?" the girl smiled at him. "Mr Kato doesn't like her much. She's difficult to handle, and she doesn't like people touching around her head. But she's a hard worker, and willing to please if she trusts you."

"What breed is she?"

The girl walked towards him, with a significantly calmer mare following.

"She's full blood Trakehner." She paused for a moment and looked him over a little closer. "Are you looking to buy?"

"I'm helping my boss look for a horse." he replied, his eyes still on the mare.

"Well, she's a lovely animal if you treat her right..." she seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if she should.

Naruto looked at her for a moment.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"My boss will get me in trouble if I..."

"It's okay. I won't tell him." he assured her, liking this softly spoken girl almost immediately. "My name's Naruto."

"Kaede. My names Kaede," she laid a hand on the mare's neck as she lowered her head and sniffed at the ground. "It's just...my boss will tell you that she's ill tempered and badly trained. He's been trying for weeks to get her up to his selling standards."

"Why would he think that?"

"Because she never does what he wants her too. She's very strong willed when she wants to be, and she has her bad days. It's just every day he goes to work with her, she's been stressed out. I don't think she likes men all that much."

Naruto nodded as he looked at the mare once more. So she was damaged goods, just like him. He understood that all too well. She was a horse that he could relate to. They could do well together.

"Would you mind if I..."

"Go ahead."

He slipped under the fence, and accepted the lead rope that Kaede held out. Slowly he approached her, watching as she visibly tensed, and pricked her ears.

"Just be careful," Kaede told him, stepping back to the edge of the yard.

But Naruto was focused solely on the mare before him. She was staring at him, sussing him out blatantly.

"Hey there, girl," he murmured.

She stretched out her nose, not moving a step forward to meet him. He had stopped a few feet away, giving her her space and letting her make up her mind if she wanted to greet him or not.

Naruto reached out a hand and offered it to her. She sniffed him for a few long moments before dropping her head and stepping a little closer.

"See now," he murmured so that only the mare could hear. "I'm not going to hurt you. I think we're more alike than we know."

She responded to the sound of his voice and moved even closer, sniffing first his tattered jeans, and then his shirt, and his hair.

He laughed softly, and stroked her shoulders and chest, savoring the feel of the silky smooth coat beneath his fingers.

Sora truly was a magnificent horse. She stood at about 16.2 hands high, with an elegant and refined way of carrying herself. Her shoulders were deep and sloping, and her back was perfectly curved and of moderate length. She possessed powerful hindquarters characteristic of the breed that made them such good jumpers. Her color was deep and bold, and her eyes were intelligent and keen.

He could work with the behavioral problems. Tender love and care could solve those problems, along with a great deal of patience. It was only a matter of finding out just how well she was trained, and how experienced she was.

"Naruto?" Sasuke was calling.

He turned to see Sasuke and Mr Kato exiting that barn. Once he had caught sight of him in the yard, Sasuke headed towards him. Naruto didn't miss the frown on the owners face, but said nothing.

Sasuke leaned against the fence, and Naruto led Sora a little closer.

"This is Sora," he said. "I think she..."

"She looks promising," Sasuke interrupted as he turned to the owner once more. "What can you tell me about her?"

"Her?" the owner was still frowning as he looked first at Sasuke and then over to him. The mare had pinned her ears back and was stamping impatiently once more.

"She's about six years old. Born and bred over in America. Full blood Trakehner."

"And what about her temperament?" Sasuke questioned.

"Forgive my boldness, Uchiha-sama, but I'm not sure this horse is the one you're looking for. She's ill-tempered and stubborn, and definitely not for the competition world. She gets worked up easily, you see and..."

"We'll be the judge of whether or not she's good enough," Sasuke interrupted. "Does she have papers?"

"She does. They...They're in my office, if you'd like to come with me," the owner replied, cowing instantly.

Naruto looked at Kaede; she was scuffing her boot into the dust, and looking unhappy. He approached her, a little tentatively.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

She looked up at him, and smiled, looking sad.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just, she's one of my favorites, and I want her to go to a good home. But the way he's trying to convince everyone not to buy her makes me think that he's going to sell her to a meat factory or something."

Nartuo laid a hand on Sora's neck, and stroked her soothingly. She seemed to calm down a little more now that the owner was gone, and had lowered her head to nibble at a tuft of grass.

"I don't think that's going to happen. I'm going to do my very best to make sure that she comes home with me," Naruto murmured to her. "She's the horse we need."

Kaede looked at him, surprised. "You can tell that already? I mean, you've just met her and all. You haven't even ridden her or anything."

Naruto looked up at her, and flashed a shy smile. "I've worked with horses my entire life. I've been told I have an eye for spotting horses with potential."

"And you think she has potential?"

Naruto looked Sora over once more, feeling a flush a fond pleasure when he saw that she was sniffing his boots. She wasn't short of curiosity, that was for sure.

"Oh yes," he replied. "She has plenty of potential. It's just sometimes horses get trapped within their fears. It's our job to help them get past that and become the horses that they have the potential to be."

Kaede was listening to him with wide eyes, and Naruto flushed. It wasn't often that he got the chance to talk about his very deep and abiding love for horses, and whenever he did, he often lost himself within memories of his father. He owed his dad a lot; he had taught Naruto everything he needed to know from a very young age, and he would be forever grateful for the imparted wisdom and the deep respect for horses that he had passed on. It was one of the only legacies that he had left behind, and Naruto always made sure that it was honored in the proper manner. He would never disrespect his father's memory by forgetting a single thing he had been taught. He would always put his knowledge to good use in helping horses that needed his help to grow.

Naruto smiled at her once more, before handing over the lead rope.

"I promise. I'll do my very best." he told her solemnly.

"Thank you, Naruto," Kaede replied, accepting the rope back. "I appreciate it."

Naruto nodded, patted Sora's shoulder once more before ducking out of the yard and hurrying over to where Sasuke was waiting by the car. He held a folder in one of his hands, and he gave it to Naruto.

"I thought you might want to look these over before I did. You have a better idea of what to look for anyway."

Naruto accepted the folder and looked up to see Sasuke looking over to where Kaede was lunging Sora once more.

"She is a beautiful creature." he said. "Impressive movement."

Naruto nodded as he watched. "She can be a bit difficult apparently. But Kaede said she's a hard worker, with some experience. She could be what we're looking for."

"You don't need to try and convince me, Naruto. If you think she's good enough, then she's the one we'll get. I've organized for us to come out here again tomorrow morning so that you can ride her and see how she feels." Sasuke finally looked down at him. "Think you can handle that?"

Naruto nodded.

"Good. We'd better be heading back now. It's starting to get late, and I imagine you want to help with the evening feed."

Naruto blushed, and heard Sasuke's rumbling laughter. He slid into the car, his mind full of all the possibilities of working with a horse as beautiful as Sora. But more importantly, he wanted to ride in that competition, if only to see how well she would perform. And so he could see if he could really make it in the horse world, as his father had. If he could do it, then maybe he had a chance to make something out of his future, something more than a stable hand.

It was worth a shot, anyway.

-

Naruto slipped into the stables unnoticed, and grabbed two buckets of feed before slipping away without anyone asking him questions. He opened the door to Ani's stable and slipped inside, shutting it after himself and approaching the colt. He was on his feet at least, and he shuffled towards Naruto, his stitches obviously not bothering him, but pulling none the less.

He was pleased to see that Ani seemed placid and calm, and not stressed out in anyway. It would help speed the healing process if he could remain that way for as long as possible.

"Hey there, boy." he murmured, approaching him.

Ani nuzzled his hands in welcome, and Naruto smiled as he ran his hands over his warm face.

"It's good to see you on your feet again," he told the horse. "I was so worried about you."

Ani huffed sweet breath over his hands and nudged him gently.

"How did you know I bought you a treat, eh?" he asked with a smile. "You're a smart boy aren't you?"

He fished the wedge of apple out of his pocket and Ani lipped it up from his palm delicately. Naruto rubbed his ears as he studied the dressings covering Ani's injuries.

"It's gonna be a little while before we can get you out of here, boy. You have to be patient like me, okay? I promise you though, no matter how many horses I ride, you'll always be my favorite."

Ani nudged him again, and Naruto gave him another rub around his delicate nostrils.

"Be a good boy tomorrow and I'll come and take you out for a walk, okay? Just you an' me."

He gave Ani one last pat, and turned around to find Sasuke standing there.

For a moment he just stood there in surprise, his eyes wide before Sasuke laughed gently.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"N-no, that's okay," Naruto stammered, feeling his color rising. "Have you...been there long?"

Sasuke smiled at him and came closer. "Yeah."

"Oh. Right."

He stared at the toes of his boots in embarrassment.

"I actually came here to give you this. You left it in my car." Sasuke explained.

Naruto looked up to see Sasuke offering his worn wallet. He stepped forward and took it.

"Thanks," he murmured as he tucked it into his pocket. "I...I'm sorry to make you come all the way down here."

"That's okay," Sasuke said, his eyes softening as he caught Naruto's hand and pulled him closer. Naruto flushed and looked down at their entwined fingers. "It gives me an excuse to see you."

"Sasuke..."

Naruto's stomach tightened with nerves but somehow he found himself leaning upwards and placing a fleeting kiss on the side of his mouth. A moment later he stumbled backwards and backed off.

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't..."

Sasuke caught his hand and pulled him back, that stunning smile on his face once more.

"You have nothing you apologize for." he whispered, before gently pressing his lips against Naruto's.

His kisses were chaste and gentle. Naruto felt himself melt against Sasuke's solid chest, grasping his expensive silk shirt with his hands to steady himself. His heart was pounding furiously in his chest, and when Sasuke licked his way into his mouth, Naruto was lost within the myriad of raging emotions.

When Sasuke pulled away and trailed his lips across his cheek and down his neck, Naruto sucked in lungfuls of air as he clutched the back of his shirt. His gasping for air sounded impossibly loud in the silence of the stable yard. Everyone would be getting ready for dinner, so it meant that they were all alone.

Sasuke bit gently into his ear lobe and Naruto shuddered involuntarily, feeling too hot and flustered all of a sudden. He gasped when a cool hand slipped under his t-shirt to caress the skin of his lower back softly.

"S-sasuke..."

"Shhhhh..." the Uchiha whispered against his lips, his breath warm. Naruto wordlessly offered his mouth again, and was rewarded by Sasuke claiming his mouth once more. He opened his mouth when Sasuke licked his lower lip, and their kisses became wet, and hot and Naruto moaned slightly when Sasuke's hand caressed up and down his back and pressed him flush against the hard length of his body.

It was dark, and quiet and cool and Naruto thought that this couldn't be more right. He was willing to give anything if it meant having Sasuke here like this with him, Sasuke's hands on his skin.

Sasuke ended the kiss slowly, and pulled back to smile at him, raising a hand to caress his face.

"I have to go. I'm expected at dinner."

Naruto nodded wordlessly, although every fiber of his being was screaming for him to stay, to take everything he had to offer and more. Sasuke pressed another kiss to his lips before stepping back. Naruto missed his warmth almost immediately, and almost as much as he missed his touch.

"I'll stop by and pick you up at 7:30."

"Okay," Naruto breathed, trying to still his pounding heart and will his body to calm down once more.

"Goodnight, Naruto."

Sasuke disappeared into the shadowed aisle, back the way he had come, and back to the life he led. Naruto staggered backwards and leaned against the wall and wished that he didn't feel the sudden, overwhelming urge not to be alone anymore.

-

Tenten covered her mouth as Sasuke left the stable. She watched as Naruto leaned himself back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

This couldn't be happening. Not...surely not Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke was...

She could hardly believe what she had seen, but when she really thought about it, it made sense. The strange absences, the distracted behavior, the crying. She had to do something about this.

But first of all, she had to confront Naruto, and find out if Sasuke was really forcing himself onto her blond friend or if Naruto was willingly going along with...whatever it was that was going on.

Surely she wasn't the only one who could see that it was all going to end in disaster?

* * *

A/N: Yes, peoples, I am back from my month long holiday overseas, and I hope you all missed me. As a reward for your patience, I present you with this gift…..ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!

Lol, things are finally going somewhere huh? About time too! As usual, any questions, comments or suggestions are always welcome. All you have to do is click that little purple button on the left hand side of the screen. Go on, feed my ego!!!


	20. No Way Back Now

**Disclaimer**: _At this point in time, Naruto still doesn't belong to me. All characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner whose name I'm not even going to try spelling_

**Warnings: **_Swearing, Angst, slightly graphic interactions between Sasuke and Naruto. In other words, Shounen ai/Yaoi_

**A/N: **_ Co incidently, I was going back over the chapters of this story, and realised that in the first chapter warnings, it says that there will be Gaara x Naruto and Genma x Neji. I'm officially cancelling that for two reasons. Number one, i can't even remember what the original idea was for this story. It's taken on a life of it's own, ya know? And the second reason is because Sasuke and Naruto is the main pairing for this story. I hope i don't disappoint too many of you with this, but i honestly can't see a way i can integrate those pairings into the storyline now. I have a destination now. Rejoice!!!!_

* * *

**Chapter 19: **_No Way Back Now_

Naruto stretched contentedly within the warm confines of his blankets. It was still very early, and still way too early for even him to be awake, but excitement was tying his stomach in knots. He had a good feeling about the coming day. He'd ride Sora for the first time, and see if she really was as great as he thought she was. Sasuke would be there with him, the trust he had placed in Naruto's judgment warmed him to the very depths of his soul.

The rosy pre-morning light was started to chase the darkness in his room away, and Naruto studied the remaining shadows in lazy contemplation. It was in the quiet of early morning when Naruto felt the most alive, when the approaching beauty of dawn was enough to lift his spirits from their murky depths for awhile.

His father had been an early riser too, he remembered without the usual crushing pain he felt when thinking about his father. There was the occasional moment when he was able to think about his father without sinking into depression once more, and it was always easiest when the first hints of gold and pink touched the horizon.

Naruto shook himself out of his thoughts as he threw the covers back and swung his legs out of bed. There was no point in trying to get back to sleep now that he was awake.

After considering what he would be doing for the day, Naruto pulled on a pair of fawn colored riding pants and his worn pair of knee length riding boots. As he pulled on a long-sleeved blue shirt and a plain black jacket with the Uchiha crest embroidered on the chest, he couldn't help the smile that graced his face.

Sasuke was picking him up in a couple of hours. He'd get to see his beautiful face once more, and be able to listen to the smooth timbre of his deep voice. And he would be able to watch those artists hands on the wheel, and get to feel the warmth of his touch and his lips...

Naruto let himself out of his room and walked as quietly as he could down the hallway. He paused and frowned in confusion when he saw light shining from beneath Ten-ten's door, but continued on, not wanting to disturb her.

The sitting room and kitchen were still ghostly quiet, and Naruto briefly wondered how Genma was doing, and if he was okay. He'd make it a point to give him a call that evening to make sure he was all right, Naruto told himself.

The cold air hit him like a punch to the gut when he left the warmth of the living quarters. But the sound of hungry horses soon made him forget the temperature. They were eager to see him, and he was constantly stopping to stroke warm noses and sleek necks on his way to the section of the stables that was unoccupied by horses.

He stood at the door of the first one thoughtfully, looking around. Stables didn't feel right when they were empty. They needed living, breathing creatures in them, to make them feel more like a home. Naruto always found himself humbled when confronted with that feeling. The depth and breadth of his love for horses sometimes astounded him. They were not only his last link to his deceased father, but they were the comfort he needed against the cold, the security he needed to keep his personal demons at bay. They didn't care if he was damaged and ruined beyond repair by grief and self-loathing. They made him feel whole and pure once more.

And he had a gut feeling that Sora needed him as much as he needed her. She was the one, his gut was telling him. She's the one who will make this stall a home.

With that thought in his head, Naruto set about preparing the stable for it's new owner.

- - -

When Sasuke pulled up in his car, there was no one about. But Sasuke had assured him that Kakashi was aware of the circumstances the night before, so he wasn't worried about making anyone angry. And at least he wouldn't have to explain to anyone where he was going to be; that was Kakashi's job now.

Naruto opened the door and slid into the soft leather of the passenger seat.

"Hi."

"Morning," Sasuke smiled at him. "I hope you're ready for today. We've got a long day ahead of us."

"I think I am," Naruto assured him hurriedly.

Naruto understood why Sasuke hadn't kissed him hello. The chance of someone seeing them was too great, but it didn't matter to him. Sasuke had smiled at him, and that was enough to make tendrils of warmth curl skittishly within his stomach. Naruto was sure that Sasuke's smile could warm even the coldest of hearts.

As it was, his was buzzing pleasantly within him as Sasuke turned the car around and sped off down the dirt road, plumes of dust following in their wake. The radio was playing some song that he didn't recognize, but it was only providing background noise anyway and the engine was purring pleasantly.

Naruto slipped easily into the secure companionship that existed between, and soon found himself forgetting anything but Sasuke and the bright vision of a future where he was happy. Sasuke did that to him. He made him feel like everything was going to work out, like endless possibilities were stretched out before him just waiting for him to pick up the reins and make a choice.

What he felt whenever he even thought about the youngest Uchiha was almost like a sharp pain, except it didn't bring hurt. The emotions he stirred within Naruto were so poignant and profound that it was hard to draw the line between the two. It was getting so strong that Naruto began to wonder how he could ever live when Sasuke had to leave and go back to his own life. A life that was completely separate to the one that he was sharing with Naruto in the present.

But he wasn't thinking about the future, Naruto told himself sternly. For once he wasn't going to worry about the future, and he wasn't going to agonize about what had gone wrong in the past. He was living the present, and he was going to live it to the best of his ability. He was going to give everything he had to Sasuke, and he was going to give him every little thing that he wanted, because that was the only way he knew how to love someone, and he knew beyond a doubt that he loved Sasuke. There was no going backwards anymore. Only forwards.

- - -

Mr Kato was waiting for them in the stable yard when they pulled up. Sasuke switched the engine off and turned to him.

"Be careful out there. You don't know what she can be like, so just take it easy okay?"

Naruto smiled at him as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"It's okay, Sasuke. I've ridden strange horses before. I'll be fine," he replied, reaching out and shyly brushing his fingers over the back of Sasuke's hand before reaching for the door handle.

Sasuke caught his hand and held him still.

"All the same, I'd like to make sure that you will always be able to ride new horses, so make sure that nothing happens. I trust you. And I trust you not to do anything stupid that will put you in harms way."

Naruto met Sasuke's serious eyes and nodded wordlessly, surprised and humbled all at once at this display of concern about his welfare. He felt his cheeks flush warmly, and silently cursed his ability to blush at any honest display of emotion.

"I won't let you down, Sasuke. You have my word, " he promised solemly.

Sasuke nodded and caressed the inside of his wrist minutely before releasing him and following at he climbed out of the car.

"Besides, I can't imagine what horrors Kakashi and Iruka-san would unleash on me if I let anything happen to you," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto bit his lip to hide his smile and ducked his head, knowing what he said to be true. Even he wasn't sure what they were capable of.

Sasuke strode confidently up to Kato with Naruto following and trying to get his glowing emotions under control. He kept his head lowered, studying the worn toes of his riding boots as he listened to the conversation.

"Mr Kato," Sasuke nodded as he shook the man's hand. "I trust everything is ready for my assistant here."

"Of course, Uchiha-Sama. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to one of our indoor arena's where one of the stable hands of warming the mare up."

Sasuke fell in step behind the man, and Naruto followed along closely.

"Why an indoor arena?"

Naruto could hear the frown in Sasuke's voice and mentally applauded his growing abilities to read Sasuke.

"Sora spooks easily, and gets restless when there's a lot of activity going on around her. I thought it might be better for your boy if he rode him inside." Mr Kato paused and then continued delicately. "If you'll pardon me for saying so, that is one of the reasons why I suggested to you yesterday that she might not be suitable for..."

"My _boy_," Sasukes tone said exactly what he thought of that particular term, "has a lot of experience working with troublesome horses. It won't be a problem."

Naruto was frowning at being addressed as a boy (he was nineteen after all) but let it go at Sasuke vote of confidence in his abilities. While he was often praised for his horse skills by others, it somehow meant so much more when it came from Sasuke. After all, Sasuke was no beginner with horses either. He rode like a champion, with abilities up there with the Olympian Equestrian riders. Naruto had no doubts that he could hold his own against the top riders int he country.

"Well, I see that you won't be swayed on the matter. This way, if you please," the man sighed and led them into an enormous building located behind the rows and rows of buildings that housed the horses.

Sasuke dropped back beside him momentarily.

"I really don't like that man," he muttered in annoyance, squeezing Naruto's forearm briefly before catching up with the stocky man in front of them. Naruto smiled and followed his lead once more.

Sora stood in the center of the massive riding ring tossing her head impatiently as Kaede tightened her girth and checked over her tack. The mare had obvious been lunged as sweat darkened her forelegs.

Kaede stood with the mare in the center of the large, saw dusted ring. The whole building was well lit and ventilated, despite it's size, and on each of the long sides of the building, a set of stairs led up the rows of seats where one could sit and watch horses being worked.

"This is our showing arena," Kato announced proudly. "We hold our yearling sales here, and competitions of various sorts annually."

Sasuke nodded, clearly irritated with the man's boastfulness.

"Perhaps we could move out of the way so we can let them get started," he suggested with strained politeness. "Why don't you tell me more about the sales you hold here?"

The man nodded enthusiastically and Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto as they headed towards a set of stairs.

Naruto grinned as he headed over to Kaede. She smiled back at him.

"He can be a bit much, can't he?" she greeted him as she handed over the reins.

"He's not so bad," Naruto smiled. He didn't like to talk badly about anyone. In his experience, it usually came back to bite you when you least expected it.

"Well, you don't have to work with him now, do you?" Kaede smiled once more as he accepted the helmet she offered to him.

"Hey there, my lady," he smiled as he stepped up to greet Sora. "Are you ready to get to know me?"

Sora sniffed at him hands and then his trousers and snorted sharply. Naruto chuckled and patted her neck, remembering to keep clear of her head.

"Anything I should know?" he asked Kaede as he adjusted his stirrups. She seemed thrown by the question, and Naruto waited for her answer patiently.

"Uh...well. She's really sensitive around the mouth so just...use very little hands and a lot of body movement. She'll test you to start with, but once she knows you're not a beginner then she'll settle down and do what you want as long as you treat her right," Kaede rushed, glancing up at Kato and seeing his disapproving frown.

"Don't worry about him," Naruto murmured to her. "What else should I know?"

"She doesn't like to be surprised. So just...ease her into things okay? Don't do anything sudden or drastically different from what you were doing before. She'll react badly if you do."

Naruto nodded as he carefully lifted the reins around her head, noting the pinned back ears and the stamping of her feet when he did so.

"Okay," he patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Thank you, Kaede. I trust that you'll be staying nearby in case she throws me off."

"O-of course. I mean, that is if you'd like me to."

"I would appreciate it."

"Okay then. I'll just be over by the door then."" She pointed and turned to go. "Good luck.'

Naruto shut everything else out then, focusing solely on the large bay mare before him. He could only just see over her shoulders. She was solidly built, and was probably immensely strong to boot, but that wasn't anything he couldn't handle.

"We don't need luck, do we Sora? We're fine just the way we are." he murmured to her as he fit his boot in the stirrup and gathered the reins, preparing the mount.

"Besides, the way I see it, if we rely too heavily on luck and chance, then we'll end up lost and confused won't we?"

He continued to talk to her, knowing she was listening to the sound of his voice by the flickering of her delicate ears. He pushed himself up and eased himself into the saddle. She was shorter than Taira only by a little, and every time he found himself on the back of such large horses, he always marveled at how little everything else seemed.

He shifted, finding his comfortable position and gathering up the reins. He smoothed down a portion of her mane.

"Neither of us need that, do we? We need to keep our feet on the ground so we don't lose track of ourselves. If you'll let me, I think I can help you do that."

He stood up once in the stirrups before sitting back down, finding his balance and assessing her reactions. She stood rock steady, bobbing her head slightly, wanting to go but not feeling stressed anymore.

Nodding slightly to himself, he urged her forward gently, noting how she responded readily to the slightest pressure of his heels. He guided her towards the outer arena, content just to walk for the time being and assessing things like the smoothness of her gait, her propulsion and energy.

"I understand that someone has mistreated you in someway in the past, but I can help you get past that. We can help each other if we're patient."

He nodded to Kaede as they passed her, noticing how anxious she looked. He didn't let her anxiety affect him though. When he was riding, he needed to keep a calm and steady head about his shoulders. Horses picked up on emotion very easily, and reacted accordingly. Sora seemed like the kind of horse who reacted strongly to that kind of thing so it was doubly important that he kept his wits about him. While he could control his own actions and emotions, he couldn't control the actions of those around him which meant that he needed to be alert and aware of any and all changes around himself and Sora.

Sora was impatient to get going, bobbing her head impatiently and swishing her tail. She was already well warmed up, so he consented to her wished and gathered up the reins, mindful of Kaede's words about her sensitive mouth, readying to trot.

He'd barely given the signal when she sprung forward into a fast paced trot. Patiently, Naruto slowed her back down to a walk and after a few paces tried again. This time she started forward when he had asked and at the pace he asked, understanding his intentions perfectly.

Satisfied, he settled her into an active trot, liking the smoothness of the gait immediately. It felt like her feet were barely touching the ground, like they were floating.

Satisfied with her trot, he set about putting her through a series of complicated circles and half circles, serpentines and figures of eight. She completed them all easily, hardly even raising a sweat.

It was too easy for her, so he repeated it all again at a canter before putting her through a basic dressage test. She was a lovely horse to ride. Because of the sensitivity of her mouth, most of the signals and instructions he gave her were conveyed through body movement. Slight shifts in weight, and the direction he pointed his shoulders and hips told her which way to go and what she should be doing when. By moving the position of his heels and adjusting his position in the saddle, he controlled her gait. He used very little hands and rein, only using very slight pressure when he wanted to slow her to a halt and he didn't hang off them or saw at her mouth.

Once the dressage test was completed, he slowed her back to a walk to give her a little breather and patted her neck, feeling very excited at the thought of taking this wonderful mare home and teaching her all that he could.

She seemed to have calmed down a lot and worked off much of her former energy and was walking sedately beneath him.

Naruto slowed her in front of Kaede and came to a halt.

The girl was beaming up at him.

"You look wonderful together," she informed them. "See what I mean? She really is a lovely horse. You're a wonderful rider."

Naruto flushed, flattered and wiped his sweaty forehead on his arm.

"Thank you." he replied, oddly touched by her sincere praise. "I'd like to set up some trotting poles and jumps if that's okay. I'd like to see how well she can handle them."

Kaede bit her lip, looking worried once more.

"She'll be okay with the jumps. I mean, she gets over them well enough, but she lacks..."

"Finesse?" Naruto suggested.

"Yeah. That. She gets frustrated easily. And she hates trotting poles."

Naruto nodded. "If it's all the same, I'd like to give it a go anyway. Just to see where she stands."

Kaede hesitated a moment longer before nodding.

"I'll let it up. You go do what you need to."

"Thanks Kaede."

Naruto nudged Sora and they were off once more. He walked her around the perimeter of the arena and watched with one eye as Kaede started dragging poles and jumps onto the area and began to measure the paces between each.

Naruto collected himself once more, and Sora, sensing something was happening perked up and tensed in anticipation. Naruto urged her forward into a trot, patting her neck soothingly as he did so.

"Easy girl. One step at a time," he said quietly to her.

Sitting back in the saddle her urged her into a canter. She obeyed immediately, settling into a smooth, ground eating canter that had them eating up ground effortlessly. Even then, he knew that it was nowhere near her fastest. He took her once around the outside of the arena, feeling how tense and locked up she was.

He relaxed his body even further, giving her a freer reign and letting her dictate the pace. Sensing this, she settled into a smoother lope within minutes, relaxing and loosening even further. It was a much more relaxed canter this time around, and he knew that it must look better than the collected canter before.

He took her around the arena twice more as Kaede finished setting up the jumps and the trotting poles. Then, slowing her to a trot then a walk, he let her get her breath back once more, sizing up his options and making a plan.

On the inside of the large arena, Kaede had set up a small line of jumps in a row on one side. in a neat row beside the jumps a series of poles lay evenly spaced. The aim of the poles was to control rhythm and balance which were two of the most important things when jumping. The horse is supposed to trot over the poles without changing his gait or his rhythm. The same principle applied to jumping fences. Once a pace is set, it shouldn't change because there's a jump in the way.

If Sora had a problem with the poles then it was no wonder she didn't like the jumps. The solution to the problem was simple really. All he needed to do was put a set of poles in the arena when working with her and make her keep going over them as he practiced dressage. That way she would be able to do it without changing anything or getting upset. It only required patience and practice and he had plenty of time for both.

Once Kaede had left the arena, Naruto set Sora trotting around the outside arena once more. After two laps he changed her direction and headed straight for the middle of the poles. Sora's head immediately went up, her ears went back and she slowed right down. He applied his heels gently yet insistently to her sides and she snorted, going forwards over the first with a great hopping leap. She continued over all of them in the same fashion- Naruto was sure they looked ridiculous but he paid that no mind. The moment they had completed the poles (but not until she had tried to shy sideways several times to try and escape) she broke into a furious canter.

He slowed her within a few paces, and pulled her back to a walk.

She was tossing her head angrily now and jogging. Naruto relaxed in the saddle and stroked her neck soothingly. She relaxed a bit but kept up her fast walking pace.

"I'm sorry girl. How about we try that again a little slower, hey?" he murmured to her softly. He kept talking quietly to her as the walked the arena once more. Once they reached the poles again though, he pulled her to a halt and looked at the considering.

After a moments thought, he jumped down from Sora and grasped the reins behind her chin. Coaxing gently he led her forward and let her go at her own pace as he stepped over them himself. She followed him slowly, and infinitely more calmly. He repeated the process several times before remounting her and repeating it at a walk. She still didn't like it but she went over them without getting herself too worked up.

Seeing she had had enough of that for the day, he decided to take her over the jumps. She completed the four jumps sloppily as Kaede had predicted. She sped up before she launched herself over each jump, using speed instead of power and control to clear the jump. Whoever had taught her to jump had gotten it dead wrong. Naruto ended the session there, with a ten minute cool down session before he dismounted.

He loosened the girth, feeling unexpectedly tired but pleasantly so. She had worked up a good sweat as well, he noted as he gave her one last pat before he handed her reins over to Kaede.

"Well, what did you think?" She asked as she took them.

Naruto nodded at her and gave her a quick smile.

"I can't promise anything, but I think she's the one I need," he whispered to her as Sasuke and Mr Kota approached.

Sora's ears went back as they arrived, and she stamped impatiently. Kaede led her a few steps away to calm her down.

"I'd like a minute to speak with my trainer if you please," Sasuke told Kota, who nodded and went over to Kaede.

"Well?" Naruto asked expectantly in lowered tones.

"She's got no jumping experience," Sasuke frowned.

"But she's got excellent dressage training. She's got pureblood lines with some famous grand-sires and dams in there." Naruto pointed out. "With the right training and the right rider, she can definitely be what we need."

"You're that sure?"

Naruto nodded, and said nothing else, watching as Sasuke thought it over, looking over at where she stood.

"And you think you can get her up to standard within the time frame we're talking about?"

"It'll be pushing it, but yeah, I think I can. It'll take a lot of work, but I can do it," Naruto assured him quickly.

"I don't want you working yourself to death just because you think this is what I want. I stand by what I told you before. If you don't think you can do it, just say so. I'm not going to hold it against you," Sasuke said, looking down at him. "You really think she's the one then? You seem very sure."

"That's because I am Sasuke. I can do this. I want to do this."

Sasuke nodded slowly. "Okay then. I'll make the arrangements. You go and get cleaned up. We're going to go somewhere for lunch."

Naruto nodded and couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face.

"You won't regret this Sasuke. I promise."

Sasuke nodded and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Go. I've got to make a deal with this toad of a man. I'll meet you at the car."

-----

Naruto tried his best to contain his excitement as he entered the living quarters, but he was positive that the smile on his face gave him away. Somehow he had managed to avoid nearly everyone in the stable yard on his way in. It had reached that quiet time of the early afternoon when all the horses were out in the fields or being exercised, and everyone was immersed in the early afternoon peace as they worked.

Shikamaru and Sakura were sitting on the hay bales mending broken bits of equipment, like halters and bridles, stirrups and chest plates.

Kiba was busy working one of the younger horses in one of the indoor arenas with Raidou supervising and calling out the odd instruction. Ten ten was no where to be seen, and Kakashi was seated in the small, out of the way office going over the accounts and re-ordering stock.

Naruto slipped into the cool darkness of the sitting room and made his way quietly to his room. He opened to door and closed it behind him before jumping in surprise when he saw Tenten sitting on his couch and looking pensively out the window. It was a bit disconcerting to see her in his room without his position, but he pushed his unease aside and stepped forward.

"Tenten?" he asked tentatively. "Is everything okay?"

She jumped and looked at him, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Oh Naruto. I'm sorry, I didn't want to come in uninvited but..." she trailed off obviously upset about something. Naruto moved to sit on his bed, so he could see her face properly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked her carefully. "You seem upset."

She shifted forwards on the couch until she was sitting on the very edge and stared at her clasped hands, not saying anything. Naruto moved to the foot of the bed so he was closer to her.

"Ten-ten?" he ventured again. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll do whatever I can to help you, I swear..."

"I saw you," she blurted, cutting him off.

"Sorry?" Naruto frowned, confused.

"I saw you and Sasuke last night. In Ani's stable."

Naruto froze, feeling the blood drain out of his face as he stared at her in shock. But even the shock wasn't as strong as the sudden, heart stabbing fear he felt. Tenten was beside him in an instant taking her hands in his.

"Naruto, say something. You're as white as a sheet!"

"I...I uh..." Naruto swallowed convulsively and looked down at their hands. "You did, huh?"

"Yeah. But you don't need to worry. I'm not angry of whatever. I just...I just want to talk about it okay?"

Naruto nodded numbly, still refusing to meet her eyes. Never could he feel ashamed about Sasuke but humiliated and embarrassed at having been caught were feelings that he couldn't help.

"I guess the main thing I want to know is if he's forcing you to do anything you don't want to," Ten ten said slowly.

"No!" Naruto told her vehemently, finally looking into her eyes and feeling desperate for her to understand. "No, he would never do that to me. It's...it's all consensual."

Tenten still looked doubtful though, and worried at her lower lip with her teeth. "Are you sure, Naruto? Are you positive that he hasn't made you think that you want this, when you really don't?"

Naruto looked at her confused now. "Yes, I'm sure. He's never forced me in anyway."

Tenten nodded, obviously deciding to keep her doubts to herself.

"How did it happen Naruto? I thought you were terrified of him. I don't understand how you go from that to...whatever it is you have now."

"I don't either. It's just..." Naruto looked away. "I don't know how it happened. He's just...I think I love him, Ten ten and I just couldn't stop myself, you know? I've never felt this way about anyone before and I don't think..."

"You don't think what?" She prompted gently.

"I don't think I would be able to keep away from him, even if I wanted to."

"Does he treat you well?"

"Better than anyone ever has," Naruto smiled, ducking his head as he relished the thought. "He's so good to me. I have the first clue about how to repay him."

Ten ten sighed and sat back, releasing his hands and slipping an arm around his shoulders.

"As long as you're happy, I'm not going to interfere," she said eventually.

"You don't..." Naruto swallowed. "You don't have to be okay with this. I mean, I'm not going to force you to remain my friend if you don't feel comfortable with the thought of me being...you know. It wouldn't be fair."

He jumped in surprise when she whacked him lightly over the head.

"Idiot," she said, affectionately. "Why would that bother me? I've been watching Kakashi try to seduce Iruka and succeed for the past year and a half. It doesn't bother me at all."

"That's true," Naruto agreed with a strained laugh before he sobered once more, something else occurring to him. He looked at her, trying to gauge her emotions and what her reaction would be. But before he could say anything, she said up straighter as if something had just occurred to her. She turned to him once more.

"What are you going to tell Sakura?" she asked quietly, sadly.

Naruto bit his lips and lowered his head once more.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone anything. I know that not all of them would react well if they knew. And Sakura..."

"Sakura is going to be very upset," Ten ten finished for him.

"I think that's a bit of an understatement," Naruto half-whispered, knowing she could hear him. The very thought of hurting one of his best friends made him ache in ways he never thought possible.

"She really likes him, Naruto. I think she thinks she's in love with him too," Ten ten told him seriously.

"I know."

"So what are you going to do?"

Naruto chewed his thumbnail down to the quick before he answered.

"I'm not going to tell her."

"Naruto..." Ten ten trailed off.

"I know, I know. But what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? She doesn't need to know." he told her desperately. "I know its not fair of me to ask you to keep this secret for me but please, please don't tell her. Don't tell anyone. I'm begging you..."

Tenten sighed and wrapped her other arm around him as well.

"It's okay Naruto. I won't tell a soul. But I think you need to realize that they're going to find out eventually. You can't keep this a secret forever. What are you going to tell her if she finds out?"

"I don't know," he whispered, leaning his head against her arm. "I'll think of something."

"Naruto...I'm going to keep this secret with you. But I don't think that this is going to end well at all. What are you going to do when he goes back to University?"

"I'm not thinking about that right now. I can't. What am I supposed to do Ten ten? I love him. I can't give him up."

"Okay, okay. We'll think of something, alright? Don't upset yourself now. Go back to the happy person you were when you came in," she told him, hugging him tighter and resting her head against his. "We'll figure it out, Naruto. It'll be okay, you'll see."

Naruto closed his eyes and let himself sink into the comfort of her reassurances. Things might not work out that was true, and he'd already figured that out. But the thought of ending things now was more painful than wondering how things would end if they were allowed to run their natural course. Naruto was prepared to face their unknown future, he just wondered if Sasuke was too. And he was also wondering if Sasuke felt the same way about him, or if it was just attraction he felt.

And Sakura...that was a monstrosity of an issue that he was in no way prepared to address yet.

Naruto rested within the warmth of Ten-tens arms and comforted himself with the thought of Sora's arrival tomorrow.

* * *

A/.N: There you go! My ego was so well fed, and so impressed with it being spoiled by you lot that it wanted to gift you all with another update!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was surprisingly easy, considering all the technical mumbo jumbo. I was on a bit of a roll when I was writing it, and I hope that it shows. And I have a throat infection too! Aren't you all so very proud of little old me?

I hope that I explained all of the horse talk properly in the chapter, and that you understood it all. It makes sense to me, but maybe it doesn't to you. So if you need anything clarified, just let me know.

And yes, progress is being made, isn't it? The story is moving forward. And the coming chapters will be full of action packed, boy on boy fun! Aren't you all looking forward to it? Here's a little teaser for you.

1) Sasuke and Naruto take it to the next level.

2) Someone else finds out about the "secret" and is swept into a full blown masquerade in order to keep the relationship the secret it's supposed to be. I won't tell you who!

3) Someone has an accident. Also not telling you who!

4) Preparations for the upcoming show get well underway. We find out who else is going, and finding accommodation becomes as issue.

Stay tuned if all of that seems like the kind of thing that floats your boat!!!

Because my ego is a greedy little sucker, and because my muse seems to enjoy stuffing me full of ideas and inspirations at the moment, they both demand compensation for their hard work. The little purple button awaits!!!


	21. 20 Part One: Dirty Little Secrets

**Disclaimer:** _The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owners. I claim no ownership, nor make any profit from this fictional work._

**Warnings:** _Sasuke and Naruto lovin'! A little bit graphic, but nothing major. Angst, some swearing, the usual!_

**A/N:** _And here we are! Another chapter, and i bet you're all shocked because I'm updating so quickly. Aren't you? Huh? Yes you are. Anyway, alot happens in this chapter. I'm very pleased with the way it turned out. Note the length! It's a long chapter! That should keep all you rabid fans satisfied for another week, eh? This is a two part chapter, cos i felt that this particular scene hasn't played out yet. I am also interested in looking for a beta for this story. If anyone thinks i need one, or would like to help me find one, let me know! It's not essential, but it would be nice!_

* * *

Chapter Twenty, Part One: _Dirty Little Secrets_

Naruto lay in the fragrant hay in the food storage barn and stared up at the wooden rafters above him. He was worried, but not scared, and trying to comprehend what to do.

Ten-ten knew about his secret. While it was something of a relief to have someone to share it with, he wondered what would happen if she said something that would give them away. What would happen then? Would he be fired? Would Sakura hate him forever?

He had lied to her, it was true, and he felt rotten for doing so. The guilt of it was eating away at him, but what could he have done? Was it better to lie to prevent hurting her, or was it better to tell the truth and watch her heart break before his eyes?

If she found out that he had lied to her, maybe she would be too angry with him to realise that her heart was broken as well.

He was a bad person for doing such a thing to one of his closest friends for his own gain. But was it so bad to be greedy for a change? Greedy at the cost of someone else's happiness? He knew the answer to those last two questions, but he wasn't sure if it made a difference to what he had done.

He was so tired of being divided all the time. All he wanted was to find a place where he didn't need to be so conflicted when it came to what he needed and what he wanted. He knew what he wanted here, and that was Sasuke, but what cost did he need to pay in order to be with him? Did he lose all his friends in order to stay with the person he loved?

And the biggest question was, was it worth it? He wasn't even sure if Sasuke felt the same about him, but he knew that it didn't matter. Even if he didn't, as long as Sasuke wanted him around he would stay.

The late afternoon sunlight shone through the open doors of the barn, and Naruto listened to the sounds of the singing birds. The air was fresh and sweet, and he could feel the approaching chill of the evening.

Tomorrow Sora would be arriving. He had been told that she wasn't a good traveller, but that remained to be seen. He doubted anything that had come out of Kota's mouth. The man hadn't said very many nice things about Sora, and Naruto had seen the way he had spoken down to him. Sasuke had seen it to, and had bristled almost visibly, although he hadn't said anything.

"Naruto?"

It was Kiba, and Naruto sat up, brushing stray pieces of straw from his clothes and raking his hand through his unruly hair.

"Yeah?"

Kiba stuck his head into the barn.  
"What're you doing in here? Do I even want to know?" Kiba asked playfully.

Naruto smiled at him and got to his feet.

"You wanted me?"

"No actually. Just wanted to let you know that we're heading up to dinner now. You coming along? I know Iruka would like to see you."

Naruto nodded then.

"I'll be up in a few."

Kiba nodded and disappeared as Naruto stretched his hands up towards the roof. He wondered what Sasuke was doing. Was he in his room again painting? Was he playing the piano, or hanging out with his friends? Visiting with his mother?

Sasuke was blessed with family and friends. While he might not be completely happy with the way things were within his personal life, at least he had people that cared about him. Naruto had friends that cared for him, and that he cared for. But there was nothing quite the same as family. And he would never have a family again.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Naruto headed back towards his room so he could shower and get changed.

-

The shower was hot, and his clothes freshly cleaned. Naruto was warm and comfortable, his cheeks flushed with the heat from the shower, and his hair damp as he hurried out of his room. He stopped dead when he saw Sakura seated on the couch, her old guitar sitting on her lap. She was picking out a dreamy tune, obviously lost within her thoughts as she played.

Sakura was a gifted musician, and a beautiful singer. She would often bring out her guitar and sing for them when they had a gathering of some sort and Naruto had always loved to listen. She wrote a lot of her own songs, and the lyrics were astounding, truly able to touch a cord within anyone who listened.

She shook herself out of her revere when he entered and smiled at him.

"Nice shower?"

"Yeah," he smiled at her sheepishly, running a hand through his damp hair and trying very hard to ignore the way his gut tightened in anticipation. Guilt gripped his heart, and along with a pain so very real it smarted like a real wound.

"You must be tired. I hear you've found yourself another difficult horse to train." She said. "I can't wait to see her."

"She's a real beauty." he agreed, his mind flickering briefly to the large bay mare waiting to see her new home. "What are you doing down here? Aren't you going up to dinner?"

"I was waiting for you. I thought we could walk up together. We haven't seen much of each other recently and I miss you," Sakura admitted, setting her guitar aside.

Naruto couldn't help the smile on his face. She really was a lovely person, who, despite her faults, cared deeply about her friends. His guilt and pain was forgotten at her unexpected answer.

"Of course we can. Are you ready?"

She nodded and stood up. Naruto took a moment to study one of his closest friends. Even dressed as she was in baggy cargo style pants, an old tattered Led Zeppelin shirt and scuffed sneakers, she was still very attractive and beautiful. She had her ears pierced twice, with another up the top of her right ear and a small nose stud. Her pink hair was pulled up into a messy pony tail high on her head, and her jade green eyes were as clear as a summers day.

She an extrovert, and confident in a way he was not. He wondered what she saw in him as a friend, and often counted himself to be blessed by having such a friend.

He got to his feet after a moment, and followed her out into the evening.

Dusk was falling, and the first stars appearing in the sky as they walked in comfortable silence up the road slowly. They were in no hurry, it seemed, despite Naruto's discomfort at being along with the very person he had secretly betrayed. Still, he tried his best to hide his internal dilemma from her, in case he somehow relayed his unease to unintentionally.

"So what's been bothering you lately, Naruto?" Sakura asked quietly.

He glanced at her. There was no judgement in her eyes, only soft concern and that made the situation more difficult. Here she was, worried about him and trying to help him, but the truth was the he didn't need help. This was a battle he had to fight by himself, and there was no honest way he could answer that question.

"Nothing much. I've just been really busy with this competition thing, you know?" he replied, tilting his head back to look up at the vivid hues in the sky. He felt Sakura slip her arm through his, and was oddly comforted by the contact.

"Oh yeah? Why? I thought Kakashi was organising most of it?" She asked, puzzled.

"He is," Naruto assured her quickly. "It's just..."

"What?"

"Sasuke asked me to ride this other horse for him in the competition."

"Oh." Sakura was quiet for a minute. "Well, he made the right choice. You're an excellent rider. I'm sure you'll do well."

Naruto looked at her out the corner of his eye. There was no jealousy or anger in her tone. She looked thoughtful, and calm so he was beginning to feel a little better about the situation.

"I'm not sure if i should," he admitted.

"Why not?"

"It's just..." Naruto chewed over the proper way to put it without giving too much away. "You know how Sasuke and I are...friends, right?"

"Yeah, you mentioned it. I don't see what the problem is. If you're worried about upsetting me by getting too close to him, then don't. Its not a problem."

It was all at once one of the generous and self-centred statements that he had come to expect from Sakura. How could someone be so giving and self-absorbed in the same heartbeat? He didn't think she was even aware of the underlying implications of a lot of what she said. She probably said the first thing that came to her mind the majority of the time.

He managed a strained smile for her benefit. Her answer had provided him with a certain amount of breathing space, though and for that he was grateful.

"Thanks," he told her, recognising the strain in his own voice. "I'm just not sure if it's a good idea or not. I don't want people to expect too much of me only to let them down."

"Naruto." She stopped walking and he turned to face her apprehensively.

"It's a great opportunity. You'll regret it for a long time if you don't take this chance. It could take you places you've never thought possible. You should take it while you can."

After a moment, he nodded.

"Thanks Sakura. Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, i would be spending a lot of time with him..." he trailed off.

Sakura smiled at him.

"Of course i am! It means you can spy on him for me and bring me back all the juicy bits of information!"

"What kind of information?" he asked warily as they started walking again.

"Oh, i don't know. What kind of food he likes, what he does in his spare time. What annoys him and the kind of girls he likes. Anything!"

"Oh. Right."

Naruto listened as she went on, rambling from one topic to another but always invariably going back to Sasuke. He knew one thing for sure, and that was that he wasn't going to do any spying of any sort. That kind of thing made him feel dirty, and he didn't need to feel that way any more than he already did.

--

Dinner as usual was a hearty affair, and Naruto spent some time talking to Iruka, who was especially pleased to see him. They hadn't spent much time together of late, and it was clear that Iruka was missing him.

They parted that evening with him promising to spend Friday evening watching movies and chatting. Naruto was looking forward to spending time in the presence of someone that he didn't have many secrets with. Of course, he didn't know about Sasuke and he probably never would. He could easily predict what his reaction would be to such a relationship, and it wasn't pretty.

Everyone else had already disappeared for the night with Kakashi disappearing in the direction of Iruka's rooms when Naruto hugged him goodbye.

"Don't forget Friday!" Iruka called after him as he went into the hall way. Naruto acknowledged him with a wave of his hand and continued on, wondering what to do with himself for the rest of the evening. He wasn't feeling very tired, and he knew he should find something to occupy himself or he'd end up losing himself in his thoughts and that was never a good thing.

He found that he didn't need to worry about that though. He was heading for the back door when a hand touched his arm.

Surprised, he turned to see Sasuke behind him. He hadn't seen him ghost up behind him, and he marvelled at his ability to remain completely silent.

"Have you got some time?" Sasuke asked him quietly before he could say anything.

"Y-yeah."

"Come on then."

Naruto followed Sasuke up the small set of servants stairs that led to the upper stories.

"Sasuke?" he ventured as they were making their way up the the third story. "Is everything okay?"

"Of course," Sasuke replied, glancing at him over his shoulder. "I just though you might like to spend some time together this evening when there's no one around."

"Oh. Okay."

It did sound like a good idea. They would hardly ever get a chance to steal away together unnoticed, so he supposed they needed to grab any and every chance they got. Besides, Sasuke seemed to be in a distant, solemn mood and Naruto knew that even he needed company to take his mind off things. So if Sasuke wanted to spend that time with him, then he was more than happy to oblige.

Sasuke's rooms were just as impressive as the first time he had seen them, even if they were a little more dishevelled then they had been. Sasuke bypassed the formal foyer and waiting room without a second glance, and Naruto followed wordlessly behind.

His main sitting room, however, was a different matter. Naruto suspected that this was where Sasuke spent most of his time when he was in his rooms. The book cases were just as he remembered them, towering and crammed full of books in an orderly fashion. But the rest of the room was unmistakably Sasukes.

His easel was propped up in its usual corner, and judging by the tubes of open paint, the paint brushes, rags and sketch pads lying haphazardly around the area, Sasuke had been working there not too long ago. The stereo system was surround by CD cases, some open and empty. A rock band that Naruto didn't recognise was blaring from the speakers. Magazines, books and the occasional school book were scattered across the large room. Sheets and books of piano music dominated Sasuke's piano, covering almost every available surface of it. Clothes and towels were also scattered around. The door to Sasuke's bedroom stood open, but Naruto couldn't see into the darkness beyond.

The doors to his balcony stood open, letting in the cool night breeze and making the gauze curtains billow lazily.

"Make yourself at home," Sasuke told him, waving a hand towards the couches as he tilted his head and studied the canvas standing on the easel. It was different from the ones that had been there before, but Naruto couldn't made out anything in particular. He watched for a moment as Sasuke picked up a paintbrush and immersed himself once more in his painting before he smiled and wandered over to the book case to browse over the wide variety of titles there.

He soon picked one out that caught his fancy, about foals and training and carefully pushed aside a shirt and a couple of magazines before seating himself on the couch.

The TV was switched on but muted, and Naruto paid it little heed as he turned his attention to the book in his lap.

Time passed peacefully for awhile, with the rock on the stereo providing a comfortable background noise. Naruto had curled up on the couch and was immersed in the text, paying no mind to Sasuke's quiet movements.

It wasn't until Sasuke collapsed on the couch next to him that he broke out of his own private little realm and looked up. Sasuke had stretched his arms out along the back of the couch and had tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, exposing the pale smooth expanse of his neck. His hair had come loose from it's usual pony tail and fell messily about his face. He was dressed in black cotton sleeping pants and a white shirt with something scrawled messily across the front amidst some indecipherable drawing. His feet were bare, and his arms exposed. Naruto wondered how he wasn't cold.

Looking at him all sprawled out, lean and long like that, Naruto swallowed and slowly closed his book before looking over at the painting he had been working on. It had disappeared, only to be replaced by an enchanting charcoal drawing of a city street.

"How's it going?" he asked quietly, turning his attention back to Sasuke, who hadn't moved.

"It's go better if i had some idea of what I'm doing," Sasuke replied, a weary note in his voice that tugged at Naruto's heart strings. It was the first time he had seen Sasuke so restless and unable to settle on something he wanted to do. He hoped that his presence had helped even a little to dispel Sasuke's distress.

"You're a wonderful drawer," he told him. "What are you doing all this for?"

"Art major," was the flat reply. "I have my major project due in when i return to university, and it's no where near even started. Half my mark depends on this."

Sasuke was frowning up at the ceiling, and Naruto chewed his lip, unsure how to offer any comfort to this drastically different version of Sasuke. He wondered if the day would ever come when he knew every single side of Sasuke and how to address each one. In many ways, Sasuke was like a many faceted diamond, with too many different side to keep track of. It was one of this things about him that fascinated Naruto.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked tentatively.

Sasuke sat up and rested his elbows on his knees as he looked over towards him with an indistinguishable expression on his face.

"No, I don't think there is at the moment."

Naruto nodded, and looked down at the cover of the book he had been reading, uncomfortable with this subtle shifting of atmospheres.

"Well...do you want me to go? I don't want to hold you back..."

"No. Stay."

Naruto nodded, unsure what to do next. Sasuke, seeming to sense his indecisiveness, patted the couch next to him in invitation. Naruto looked at him uncertainly for a moment before he carefully set his book aside and moved closer until he was sitting beside him. Sasuke wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer until he was pressed against his side.

Unsure what to do, it took awhile for him to relax against him. Sasuke had picked up the remote control and switched the TV off mute before he turned up the volume.

Naruto paid the TV no heed as he soaked up Sasuke's warmth. He rested his head against the strong shoulder before his and let himself feel the rhythm of Sasuke's slow breathing. As he curled his fingers in the white t-shirt beneath his fingers, Sasuke began to rub his arm absentmindedly and Naruto resisted the urge to sigh. He felt better than he could ever remember within Sasuke's arms. None of the things that had been plaguing his mind seemed to matter much when compared to the feel of Sasuke holding him.

Naruto turned his head slightly and breathed in the delicious scent of Sasuke. He smelt of paint and charcoal, the sharp scent of the cool nighttime air and some underlying scent that was distinctly Sasuke that he couldn't quite place a name to. He closed his eyes, finally feeling tired as they events of the day took their toll on him. He felt when Sasuke lent his cheek against his head, and he tentatively slid his arm around Sasuke's hard stomach, loving the way the washboard thin muscles felt beneath his arm.

He couldn't quite believe that it was happening. He was in Sasuke's rooms, and Sasuke was cradling him against his body as if he meant something. It was all so surreal that he wondered if he was actually dreaming.

But the warmth of Sasuke disproved that thought almost immediately, as did the rise and fall of his chest beneath Naruto's cheek.

Sleepily he raised his head once more to drink in the sight of the man he knew he loved with all of his heart. Sasuke looked down at him for a long moment before raising his hand and brushing his fingers over Naruto's cheek softly.

"You have the most beautiful eyes of anyone I've ever known," Sasuke murmured.

Naruto flushed but didn't say that he thought the same of Sasuke. He anticipated the kiss before it came, but not the way in which it did.

Soft, full lips skimmed slowly over the skin of his cheek, pausing briefly at his jawline before hovering over his lips. Naruto felt a hand tangle in his hair and his eyes drifted half closed, still unable to fully take his eyes off of him.

Sasuke's lips ghosted over his own, before pressing down a little more firmly. Naruto surrendered almost immediately, opening up for more and welcoming the slow, sensual invasion of Sasuke's tongue.

He felt himself being pulled more tightly against the hard lines of Sasukes chest, but felt strangely unbothered and comfortable. A hand skimmed down his back, pulling up his sweater and t-shirt to gain access to the skin of his back. Naruto shivered and whimpered unintentionally at the feel of those warm fingers caressing him so. All the while Sasuke was working his magic with his mouth, and Naruto began to suspect that Sasuke had more practise at this sort of thing than he had let on.

Sasuke pulled away slowly, dragging Naruto's lower lip through his teeth as he did so. Naruto was panting softly, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Sasuke wasn't finished yet. His mouth trailed back along Naruto's jaw to his sensitive ears, making him gasp. Teeth tugged gently at the tender lobe, and he convulsively slid his arms around Sasuke's shoulders and clutched him closer.

Never had he imagined that this sort of thing could feel so exquisite, so unbelievably intimate and the heat that was flooding his body was unlike anything he had felt before. This was desire, pure and simple, and Naruto had never felt anything so real or so pure in his entire lifetime.

He could barely breathe, the heat was getting so intense, but still, Sasuke didn't let up his assault. He jumped when he felt the wet swathe of a warm tongue swipe along his neck then melted all over again as Sasuke's lips, tongue and teeth got to work on the most sensitive places along his neck. He sucked gently at Naruto's pounding pulse, scraped his teeth over his collarbones and licked slowly into the hollows and dips. Naruto buried his face in Sasuke's soft hair, and his hands gently freed Sasuke's locks from their binding, loving the way they fell silky smooth against his hands. He didn't ever want these feelings to fade, and he didn't want Sasuke to stop. Not when the heat he felt was so delicious, or when this wonderful, mysterious man obviously wanted him just as much.

Sasuke had pressed his gently back against the arm rest, and Naruto leaned his head back, baring his neck to Sasuke's administrations.

He started slightly when a hand slid from around his back and over his stomach, sucking his breath in with surprise. Sasuke didn't venture down any future which was probably a good thing, seeing as the thought of that made his feel a little scared and uncertain. Instead, Sasuke's hand ventured up over his chest, tracing lazy patterns. When his pinkie brush over one of his nipples, Naruto moaned unexpectedly at the spike of heated pleasure that shot straight down the the depths of his stomach. He felt Sasuke smile against his neck, as he continued to suck lazily at his pulse.

Beginning to feel a bit bolder and more confident, Naruto slowly slid his hands over Sasuke's shoulders and down the expanse of his long back, tracing the outline of each muscle beneath his shirt. Sasuke was lying half on top of his chest now, and Naruto was beginning to feel strung out and like it was all too much. Overwhelmed by the onslaught of such intensity, he gripped Sasuke's shirt and lifted his head slightly.

Sasuke seemed to understand, and his hands retreated until he was simply holding Naruto once more. He lifted his head and with one hand smoothed back Naruto's hair as he looked down at him with black eyes that seemed to burn.

Naruto returned the gaze with half lidded eyes, Sasuke lowered his head once more and they exchanged several kisses, some chaste, others not so.

Naruto was drowning, and he knew he was lost forever.

- - - -

Sasuke had walked him back down to where they had met and kissed him gently goodbye. Naruto's legs were still shaky, his lips felt swollen and his cheeks flushed. He wondered if anyone would realise that something was up if they saw him then, and thought to himself that it would probably be a good idea not to run in to anyone if he could avoid it. Just the memory of having Sasuke's warm mouth on his skin, and the way his hands felt against his body was enough to make him flush anew with want. He felt as if the need for Sasuke was deeply rooted within his being, so deep that he wondered if he would ever get enough of him.

The odds of that were very slim with the way things were going. He felt as if the world had taken on some magical quality that he hadn't been aware of before. Everything just seemed...better, brighter in a way that it hadn't for a long time, and he realised that he had once felt the same. For the first time in years, Naruto felt the first stirrings of hope and possibility.

-------

_The night air was cool against a much younger Naruto's skin, and he smiled up at the big old moon shining away in the midnight sky. He wasn't supposed to be out of his bed, but the night was just too beautiful to stay cooped up in a stuffy old bedroom. His father was relaxing in the lunch room with the other stable hands, playing cards and drinking some vile drink that Naruto couldn't remember the name of. He knew it was vile and that it burned the throat, because he had once sneaked a sip himself to satisfy his curiosity.. He also remembered that his father had caught him, and instead of getting angry at him for touching the stuff, he had laughed loudly as Naruto had spluttered and choked._

_Naruto stifled his giggles with much difficulty, and crept past the golden light the spilled out from the room. The stable cat, Rover and the old sheep dog was resting quietly just within the embrace of the warm light, and they both got up and followed him as he crept past. _

_Once he was out of hearing range of the men, Naruto broke into a gleeful rum and raced out past the yards and into the green fields. Yuki was waiting for him at the border fence, and they were going to play hunters in the forest. It was perfectly safe, Naruto knew. They played there all the time during the day, and knew every inch of the small strand of trees. When their parents looked for them, they'd know where to go. Naruto and Yuki were inseparable. Yuki was his bestest, and there was nothing in the world that would change that._

_But as he ran, a feeling of fear and horror over came him. He was running towards a barn now, an old, rickety barn that was falling to pieces. The light was falling on something lying in the doorway, a shape he couldn't quite make out. All he knew was that he had to get there, to see..._

_And he staggered on something invisible in the grass as he approached the barn, and fell to his knees before the crumpled and bloody body of his fathers. _

_His blue eyes stared unseeingly up into the night sky, a hollow expression of blank sadness that tore at the very heart of him. Naruto had fallen into a pool of his fathers blood, he realised. It soaked into the fabric of his jeans. His hands were coated in blood..._

Naruto jerked awake, his heart pounding in his chest and gasping for breath as he always did after his nightmares. He hadn't dreamed so vividly about his father for years, and now this...

With a sickened heart, he threw back the covers and got up, realising that he had over slept by quite a bit.

Naruto hurried into his clothes, cursing himself for his tardiness and trying to banish the sadness and pain that loomed in his chest. He cursed himself again when he realised that just when everything was starting to go well for him, the nightmares came back in full force. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right. If he thought that there was some kind of medication for it, then he would have taken it within a heartbeat. Anything was better than having to relive the horror of his father's death. Even if it hadn't happened in that way, he was still dead. He had still knelt there while his father lay dying and that feeling of complete uselessness would never leave him.

Naruto sighed as he rushed outside and into the bustling activity of the stable yard.

Everyone was up already and the morning feed was well underway. Kiba catcalled to Tenten as she laboured past him carrying four buckets, then swore as the horse he was leading stepped on his foot. Shikamaru was leading in one of the mares who had stayed in the field overnight, while the others were all dishing out feeds into buckets and lugging them away to their rightful horses.

Naruto was annoyed at himself for oversleeping, but quickly got stuck into the work with a vigour, trying to forget the nightmare that plagued him.

"You're just in time, Naruto," Kakashi told him, as he was writing on the whiteboard. "The transport company called not long ago. Sora is on her way now."

Kakashi paused in his work and glanced over at him.

"Another one of those nights, huh?" he asked softly.

Naruto lowered his head and didn't reply.

A warm hand descended on his shoulder and squeezed briefly.

"Just take it easy, hmmm? Why don't you leave the feeding up to the rest of us and go get something to eat? I'll send someone to get you when Sora arrives."

"But I'm not..." he began, but Kakashi levelled a steady eye at him.

"I wasn't making a suggestion."

Glumly, Naruto nodded his head and turned to do as he was told.

"Iruka would like to see you, I'm sure!" Kakashi called after him as he retreated. Naruto made no reply as he escaped the pandemonium that was the stable yard. He was grateful and put out at the same time. Things were easier to live with if you kept busy, he had found, and being excused from his duties to take it easy wasn't something that sat well with him.

Still, he did as he was told and walked up the road towards the mansion. It was a beautiful morning, and looked like it was promising to be an uncommonly warm autumn day. The sky was already a fierce blue, and the sun was warm on his skin. The air was still, with no breeze to speak of, and Naruto willed himself to settle down into the routine of the day. He recalled with a warm flush the feelings of last night, when he had been with Sasuke and wondered how far things would go between them. While Naruto had understood most of what Iruka had told him about same sex relations, he imagined it to be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Mechanical almost, and he had no idea how such things could be considered passionate. But when he thought about how Sasuke had made him feel last night, he thought that maybe things wouldn't be like that if it were with Sasuke.

Suddenly mortified and embarrassed about the turn his thoughts had taken, Naruto quickly resolved to think about something else. Like Sora's arrival. He wondered how she'd settle down in her new home. He'd do all in his power to make her comfortable and happy, but there was only so much they could do. He was eager to get started on her training. If they were going to enter her in the show, then they'd need to come up with a structured and organised training plan. Sasuke wanted to sit down and discuss exactly how they were going to prepare her, and had mentioned something about spending the afternoon doing so when he had seen him last night.

And Genma was arriving home that evening. Depending on how things had gone for him, he'd probably be an exhausted wreck. At least with so many things going on, he was likely to forget all about his disturbing nights sleep in no time.

He shivered when he left the warmth of the early morning sun and entered the mansion via the back door. The place was quiet, as it was still early, but no doubt Iruka had all the house hold hands working away busily somewhere. Naruto located Iruka in the kitchen, wiping down the stainless steel bench tops with a cleaning spray and clean rags and he knocked on the door tentatively.

Iruka looked up and smiled when he saw Naruto standing in the doorway.

"Naruto! What are you doing up here at this time in the morning. I usually never see you before lunch."

Naruto smiled in greeting and slid onto a kitchen stool.

"Kakashi booted me out of the stables to come and eat something," he admitted. "He wants me to keep you company until Sora arrives."

"I see. Well, I can't let you starve now, can I? Sit tight and I'll fix you something to eat. How's pancakes sound to you?"

Naruto smiled at him in gratitude, then set his chin in the palm of one hand and watched Iruka bustle about the kitchen making fresh pot of coffee and whipping up pancake batter.

"You look like you didn't sleep very well," Iruka observed, eyeing him critically. "You having nightmares again?"

Naruto sighed inwardly, wondering if he was actually that see through. There was no hiding anything from Iruka. He could see through almost anyone as if they were made of glass. Even Kiba watched his step around Iruka, remaining on his best behaviour lest he incur his fearsome temper.

He nodded his reply, deeming it unnecessary to divulge all the details. He didn't need to know that, he figured. At least he hadn't sussed out Naruto's secret about Sasuke yet. He dreaded the day that happened.

Iruka set the first batch of pancakes cooking, and turned to face him, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms.

"Me and Kakashi have been talking," he began.

Uh oh, Naruto thought to himself. That wasn't a good sign. Whatever it was, he figured he wasn't going to like it one bit. Iruka always talked steadily like that when he was broaching a subject he knew Naruto wouldn't like. Naruto found he couldn't muster up the energy to feel wary for once. In fact he was feeling particularly lethargic and slow and wanted nothing more than to lie back down and go to sleep again. He probably would have too, if he wasn't so afraid of his dreams. That and the fact that so much was going to happen during the day that there wouldn't be any room for laziness.

"And?" he prompted tiredly.

"And we were wondering if you'd consider going to some kind of therapy course." Iruka had flipped the pancakes while he was thinking, and had turned back to face him.

Naruto inhaled the wonderful smells wafting about the kitchen and realised that he was actually hungry for once. Iruka placed a cup of hot coffee before him, and he took a careful sip, ingesting the much needed caffeine gratefully.

"Therapy?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not insane, Ruka."

Iruka scowled at him. "I know that! You don't have to be insane to visit a therapist. They're there to help people deal with their personal issues. We thought that f you were willing to give it a go, it might help you sleep better. If you dealt with your past, then I know you'd be a lot happier than you are now."

"I'm happy, Iruka..." Naruto protested as he watched him slid two perfectly golden brown pancakes onto a plate and push them towards him.

"I don't think you even know what happiness is, Naruto. You've been disappearing a lot lately, you're distracted and you're obviously not sleeping well. I've been trying to get you to eat properly for years because if you weren't reminded then you'd probably die of malnutrition..."

"Iruka, you're not listening to me," Naruto said as he drizzled syrup on his pancakes and began to eat them. "I am happy. I'm very grateful for everything I have here. I have friends that care for me, I'm doing something I love and for once I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. I am happy."

He didn't need to say anything about Sasuke. Sasuke was fast becoming a large part of him that he hadn't known existed. Sasuke made him feel happy and like he wasn't worthless and tainted.

"But Naruto..." Iruka sighed, frustrated. "I get that you're content with what you have, and that's great. I am happy that you've found somewhere you can fit in. But if you sort through all that stuff that happened to you, then maybe you can finally be at peace with yourself as well."

Naruto pushed away his finished plate and drank some more of his coffee.

"No, Iruka. No therapists. I'm fine the way I am," he murmured into his cup.

"Naruto please..."

"This is who I am, Iruka. I can't change that and I don't want to. If I did, then everything I went through would mean nothing," he insisted stubbornly. "No therapy."

"Thinking you can't change is part of the reason why you can't," Iruka told him calmly, as he set another plateful in front of Naruto.

He picked at them, feeling full and unhappy about this turn in conversation. Lately it seemed as though everyone was trying to fix him, like he was something that needed mending. Iruka, in particular, seemed less than satisfied with the way he was dealing with things, and while he appreciated the concern, he didn't need people telling him how to live his life. He'd had enough of that already, and he didn't need to feel as if he had no control.

"Will you at least consider it? Please?"

Naruto sighed.

"Fine. But I'm not making any promises."

They were interrupted by Kiba's shaggy head poked around the door.

"Do I smell pancakes?"

"Yes you do."

"How come we didn't get pancakes for breakfast?" he complained.

Iruka shook his head. "You should be grateful that you get fed at all with your manners, you wretch."

"Well...can I have some now?"

"You can have these," Naruto told him, sliding off his stool and pushing the plate towards his friends. "I've got work to do."

-------

Naruto had known that Sora had a problem when it came to transportation, but he hadn't known she was that bad. When he arrived back at the stable yard, it was more chaotic than it had been when he had left. This was probably due to the fact the Sora was rearing and fighting the grip Kakashi and Raidou had on her lead ropes. Despite their best efforts to soothe her fears and calm her down, they were having little success. The situation probably wasn't helped by the fact that all the other stable hands were watching silently from the sidelines. Even Sasuke was there but he had his hands full with an excited Taira.

Taira himself was an excitable horse, and just bearing witness to the spectacle in the stable yard had him tossing his head and dancing restlessly. Sasuke had a good grip on the cheek strap of his bridle and was talking to him with a scowl on his face.

Naruto could see what the problem was immediately. Sora had gotten upset because of people getting too close to her face and he kicked himself for not having told anyone about that particular problem earlier. He hurried forward immediately to try and rectify the situation.

"Hey, do you mind if I have a go?" he asked Raidou. He moved quickly out of the way as Raidou was yanked forward when Sora attempted to rear.

"She's too strong for you Naruto," Raidou managed, tightening his grip on his rope further.

"I know how to calm her down," Naruto replied. "I'll be fine."

He glanced at Kakashi for confirmation, giving in at Kakashi's tight nod.

"Take the rope on the count of three," Raidou gritted. "One...two..."

Naruto placed his hands above Raidou, tightening his grip as Raidou backed off. As soon as the older man had retreated, Naruto was forced to dig his heels in as Sora shied once more.

"Hey there, girl. Remember me?" He said, accidentally bumping into Kakashi.

Sora was losing steam now and tiring, though her eyes were still rolling in fear. Her legs and neck were dark with sweat, and the cotton rug she was wearing had been thrown askew when she had lost it. She must have realised that they weren't going to release her because she eventually came to a stand still. Both Kakashi and himself stayed well back, giving her time to settle down. Her sides were heaving with exertion and she hung her head low, the picture of exhaustion.

"Well, you sure know how to pick them, Naruto," Kakashi told him, wiping his forehead on his arm.

"She doesn't like people to touch around her face," he replied, watching Sora closely. "It upsets her."

"Still, she is a beautiful creature," Raidou said as he studied her. "She'd make an excellent brood mare with that conformation."

"We'll put her in the round yard, I think," Kakashi decided after a moment. "Naruto, think you can handle it? You seem to know what you're doing around her."

He nodded his agreement and accepted the second lead rope from him. He blocked out the sound of the others talking, and the noise Taira was making, and trying to ignore that voice that told him Sasuke was around. He focused all his attention on the mare before him.

She raised her head slightly as he approached, watching him intently, and waiting for another reason to explode.

"It's just me," he murmured. "You remember me, don't you? You know I'm not going to hurt you, so take it easy girl."

He succeeded in his approach, and lay a hand on her damp neck.

"See? Nothing to worry about," he told her.

Her ears flickered as she listened and she relaxed further. Carefully reaching out he unclipped one of the lead ropes, moving rapidly out of the way when she threw her head up on alarm.

She was only warning him though, and made no move to take it any futher so he relaxed and tossed the rope behind him, not bothering to look at where it landed. Having done that, he set about straightening her cotton rug the best he could. Sora was a completely different horse now, calm and relaxed and seemingly unbothered by anything around her. Naruto marvelled at the inexplicable change in her. Shaking his head he began to lead her towards the round yard.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

Now acutely aware that people were watching, he hurried around the side of the building out of sight. She shook her head as she walked eagerly beside him.

"You too, huh? Well, there's another thing we have in common."

The round yard was located beside the outdoor arena but behind the stables, out of sight of the stable yard. It was surrounded by the large tree they often gathered under and the outdoor washing bays. It was usually used to work horses on the lunging rein so it was fairly large, around twenty five meters in diameter if he had to guess and was surrounded by high metal fences. The ground was covered in soft sand, which was held in by a black skirting of hard PVC.

It was quiet and out of the way, the perfect place for Sora to settle down and acquaint herself with the new smells and surroundings of her new home. He'd leave her there for a couple of hours before introducing her to her new stable.

The gate stood open and ready for them, so he led her straight in, turning her around so he could close the gate behind them. Before he took off her halter, he striped her of the cotton rug she wore, undoing the chest and leg straps before pulling it off her. He draped it over the fence so it could the sweat could dry in the warm sun. There was no point in keeping it on, because she'd only roll in the warm sand when he released her. Then came the tricky part.

He moved his hands slowly up her neck, and moving very deliberately and carefully, he undid the halter and slipped it off, making sure not to touch her face at all. Her ears were pinned back and she shifted uneasily but didn't pull away. It was a good sign. It showed that she was beginning to trust him. With a lot of patience and a bit of work, he would soon sure her of that uneasiness. The halter fell away and he gathered it up.

Sora dashed away from him, tossing her head and breaking into a canter as he climbed the fence. He watched for a moment as she cantered around the yard, obviously glad to be free.

After a few moments, she slowed to a trot then halted in the middle of the ring, looking around momentarily before dropping to her knees and lying down. Sand flew up in the air as she rolled on her back.

Naruto smiled at her, glad that he had the chance to train her. She would present a new challenge for him to solve, and he only hoped he was worthy enough to do so.

TBC


	22. 20 Part Two: Come as you Are

**Disclaimer:**_Characters and Concepts of Naruto belong to their creator and not me._

**Warnings:**_Slashy content. Swearing, the usual._

**Authors note:** _This must be my third attempt at writing this chapter. And seeing as I am work and so very bored, it would seem that my latest burst of inspiration has failed me. Not to worry, I'm going to stagger on anyway. At last count this story had 821 reviews and 106,378 hits. I'm aiming for 1000 reviews people! My ego is demanding attention once more! And I got the first review in all those that told me they didn't like my Sasuke and Naruto because they're out of character. I'm not bothered though! Everything else they said was very complimentary._

_A couple of you sent in email addresses for Beta purposes. I apologize for not having sent this to any of you, but in the reviews the emails didn't show up and I haven't had the time to go to each of your profiles to retrieve the wayward addresses. I appreciate the efforts though, and am still considering whether or not to go ahead with the idea in the first place. I'll keep you all posted!_

_I'd also like to make special mentions of a couple of reviewers who make a very big difference in this story. First and foremost is the wonderful Hikari no Kurai, who has reviewed ever single chapter I have written and has always left lovely long reviews for me to read and drool over! hugs _

_And secondly, Chibikoi and Rebecca85. Loved your input and I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

Chapter Twenty Part 2: _Come as You Are_

Sasuke and Taira had gone by the time he returned to the stable yard and there was no sign of him in any of the arenas so he assumed that they'd gone off over the cross country course.

Naruto wondered what events Sasuke would enter him into on Sora. He assumed that that was what Kakashi was going to talk with them about this afternoon. There was so much they had to organize. For one, there was the process of entering everyone into the competition and getting the paperwork in order.

Then there was the issue of finding accommodation for not only Sasuke and his friends, but the stable hands that were going along as well, and the horses. The grounds where the competition was held was a good days drive away. And they'd have to organize equipment, and floating for the horses(1) …..

Naruto shook his head. He was getting a headache just thinking about it. But the curl of excitement and nerves in his stomach was undeniable. He really did want to compete now, he wanted to live up to his father's image, and make him proud, wherever he was.

He almost ran into Kakashi as he rounded a corner, and stumbled backwards a few steps. The pale man caught him by the shoulders to steady him.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I think it's time Ani was given a walk and thought you might want the honor."

Naruto perked up immediately at the prospect.

"You think he's getting better then?" he asked, hopefully.

Kakashi smiled at him.

"I do. He seems more lively today. Just get him in a halter and take him out. Let him wander where he wants, but bring him in once he starts getting tired or we'll be right back to square one."

Naruto nodded and grinned at Kakashi.

"Thanks!"

The older man smiled at him.

"Don't forget the meeting when Sasuke gets back." He called after him as he retreated.

Naruto had to stop himself from running towards Ani's stall. The gray had his head over his stable door and whickered to him in greeting.

"Hey there, little man!" Naruto smiled up at him as he ran his hands down Ani's face. "You feeling better already? You are a strong boy, aren't you?"

Ani nudged him sharply and Naruto laughed.

"Okay, okay, impatient one. Hang on."

Naruto grabbed Ani's navy blue halter and lead rope and slipped them over Ani's head, fastening the buckles deftly before he swung the door open. Ani stepped out slowly, obviously eager to get out, but feeling the pull of his injuries and the stiffness of his muscles.

"That's it, Ani. Just take it slow," Naruto encouraged him quietly, keeping one hand on the gray's neck and watching critically as he stepped out.

Ani's muscles and joints were probably stiff and sore from the period of limited movement, and added to the fact that he was obviously still bruised from his fall, it made for rather slow progress. But Naruto didn't mind. He was just glad to see Ani on his way to a full recovery. The stitches would be out soon, he remembered, and after that, Naruto would be overseeing his recovery therapy.

It took them awhile to get out to the stable yard, but Ani was looking alert and awake for a change, and Naruto himself was enjoying the change in pace. He'd been carefully running a soft brush over the areas of Ani that weren't injured lately, and once they'd stepped into the warm sunshine, Ani's coat seemed to radiate light. Other than the rows of stitches, he looked perfectly healthy.

Sakura and Ten ten were coming out of the other stables and when they saw Ani out and about they came over, huge grins on their faces.

"Well, who's a pretty boy then?" Tenten asked as she rubbed Ani's ears affectionately. Ani set about sniffing them both over as they patted and crooned to him. Naruto smiled as he watched, his heart almost full to bursting with relief and happiness.

"He's looking a lot better," Sakura said to him. "It's good to see him out."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, running his hand over a smooth white shoulder. "We're going for a wander. He needs some fresh air. I think he was getting bored."

Sakura nodded in understanding, laughing as Tenten started playing a game with Ani's mouth. She'd tickle his lips then pull her fingers back when he went to investigate. He huffed and snorted, obviously enjoying himself.

"Last time I was in town I bought these cute horse toys(2) that caught my eye. I'll get them for him and leave them in his stall," Sakura told him.

Naruto was touched by her kind offer and he smiled at her as his gut tightened with the now familiar guilt.

"Thanks, Sakura. That's very nice of you," he told her.

"For Ani? Anything," she smiled at him again, and touched his arm before turning to Tenten and poking her in the side.

"C'mon you. We've got stables to clean."

"Alright. Bye, my sweet," Tenten replied, as she gave Ani's ears another rub. As she went to follow Sakura, her eyes met and held Naruto's for a long moment. He lowered his head as she passed and felt her touch his shoulder briefly.

A burden shared was a burden halved, they said. But Naruto wasn't sure if this secret one that was okay to share. Tenten was putting her own friendship with Sakura on the line, and all because he'd asked her to.

It was a humbling realization, and a grave one. Naruto decided that it might be time to tell Sasuke about his dilemma.

- - - -

Two hours later, Naruto stepped into Kakashi's office. For a man who's living habits could be questionable, he kept a tidy office. His filing cabinets and draws were very organized, but his desk was another matter. There was crap everywhere, papers and books and feed ordering sheets. There were post it notes with Kakashi's scrawled writing and phone numbers stuck around the screen of his computer, and Naruto was positive he had a phone buried under all the mess somewhere. But it was the walls that Naruto loved the most. There were framed pictures of all the champion prize winning horses from the Uchiha stables decorating the walls, and some of the horses there were stunning.

There were comfortable chairs set in front of Kakashi's impossibly cluttered desk, and seeing as he was the only one there, Naruto took the liberty to sit himself down and wonder how long Kakashi would keep them waiting.

The lingering feelings of unease had been banished by his walk with Ani. For awhile they had just wandered aimlessly around the stable yard, letting Ani follow his nose. Then they'd wandered down the road a little ways, and Ani had stopped to nibble some grass and Naruto had laid on his back in the grass and watched the clouds drift slowly past. Eventually though, he had to return Ani to his stable and had given his a good grooming before he'd dabbed more antiseptic on the Ani's stitches and thrown his cotton stable rug back on.

Now Naruto was feeling sun warmed and sleepy and looking forward to seeing Sasuke again.

He didn't have to wait long. Ten minutes later, the door opened and Sasuke entered before closing the door behind himself.

"Hey," he greeted Naruto as he dropped into the chair beside him.

"Hey," Naruto smiled shyly back, his face heating slightly and he remembered last night.

Sasuke sat up a little and leant across the distance between them so he could press his lips to Naruto's softly. He raised a hand and touched the strong line of Sasuke's jaw as his heart thundered away in his chest.

Sasuke's lips were soft on his, and it was a chaste kiss that sent slivers of heat to Naruto's core.

Seemingly somewhat reluctant, Sasuke ended the kiss and leaned back. Naruto was all too aware that Kakashi or anybody could walk in at any moment and catch them, and it sent a thrill of heat through his body. Sasuke's eyes were alight with something else too, and it looked like a strange form of exhilaration.

Naruto smiled at him once more as Sasuke reached over and squeezed his fingers gently.

"How was Taira?"

Sasuke dropped his head back with a groan, and Naruto's heart leapt at the sound.

"We have a lot of work to do with him."

"Did he rush the jumps again?" Naruto asked, turning a little in his chair so he could see Sasuke better.

"Every single one. And he kept making amateur mistakes." Sasuke ran a hand through his disheveled hair and rolled his shoulders. "And I've got _another _meeting to go to with Itachi this afternoon."

Naruto felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

"What about Yamanaka-sama and Hyuuga-sama? What are they doing?" he asked, trying to distract him from the thought of Itachi. It always turned Sasuke's mood sour and made Naruto feel helpless and nervous.

"They've gone off into the city for a few days. We've got friends there and they're going clubbing or something," Sasuke explained with a scowl. "I'm glad to get rid of them for awhile. Well, Ino at least."

"Why?" Naruto asked curiously. "I thought they were your friends?"

"They are, kind of. I like Neji well enough. Ino's really one of his friends and she's too clingy for my liking."

Naruto looked away, trying not to fiddle too much with his hands to betray to his sudden embarrassment.

"Naruto? What's wrong?" Sasuke asked, sounding puzzled.

He inwardly cursed his ability to be so see through all the time; Sasuke really could read him like a book.

"It's just….do I annoy you with the way I..." he stopped and bit his lip, feeling stupid for even thinking it.

"That's different," Sasuke said quietly, seeming to know what he was getting at anyway. "She thinks that she's in love with me and it's only because of my looks and my father's money."

"Oh." Naruto shifted in his seat, not sure what to do with this new piece of information. He sensed a sadness in Sasuke that he hadn't witnessed before and gathered that he received that kind of attention all the time and for exactly those reasons. It must make him very lonely, Naruto thought, having people pay attention to you because you're rich and had status in society because of the family name. It was as if no one had ever really seen who Sasuke really was, and as a result he went out of his way to disguise himself. He ached for Sasuke, and hoped that he didn't think Naruto loved him for those reasons. He opened his mouth to tell him so, but Sasuke reached out and touched the back of his hand with a tight smile on his face.

"It's not all so bad," he murmured. "I have a couple of true friends who aren't like that."

"I'm glad," Naruto told him, relaxing. "I can't imagine having everyone look past me like that. I don't think I could live with it."

Sasuke really looked at him then, studying his face closely, and Naruto wondered for the umpteenth time what he was thinking.

"I'm not so sure…." Sasuke said absently. "Besides, we all have things we have to live with, don't we?"

Naruto's mind drifted back to his father and he silently agreed.

"Anyway, I can get away for a few hours tonight. I need to get away from here for awhile, maybe go for a drive." Sasuke said.

"I'll go," Naruto replied, knowing what was on Sasuke's mind. The Uchiha smiled at him, but that familiar distance was back in his eyes, telling him that Sasuke had immersed himself in his thoughts once more. Naruto was content to just sit there and think too. The silence between them was a comfortable one. He felt no need to fill the space between them with meaningless chatter and obviously neither did Sasuke.

It was another fifteen minutes before Kakashi joined them closing the door behind him before sitting at his desk.

"Sorry I'm late. I had trouble with one of the horses," Kakashi explained.

"Do you need me to…." Naruto made as if to get up, but Kakashi waved him back to his seat.

"Raidou's handling it. Now, I understand you have some things that you wish to discuss, Sasuke-sama." Kakashi leaned back in his chair.

"I do. First of all I've brought the list of which horses are competing. There are seven horses in all. Taira and Sora, obviously, and Ino's and Neji's horses," Sasuke replied.

"And the other three?" Kakashi sat forward, pen in hand and ready to write in an open book before him.

"Jenga and Kobie for my mother and Terrin for Itachi."

"And will Itachi be riding?" Kakashi asked, not looking up as he wrote in the book.

"No."

"And I assume that….."

Naruto fazed out of the conversation then, thinking about the horses that had been chosen and why. Jenga was one of Lady Itachi's horses, a petite little mare that was highly skilled in dressage and was very quiet and obedient. Naruto hadn't had much contact with her personally, but he knew that the little chestnut was one of Tenten and Sakura's favorites.

Kobi was a massive flea-bitten gray gelding who was a powerful show jumper and a cross country runner. He was too clumsy for the dressage flat though, and could get a little excitable at times, but was an all together big hearted horse, a gentle giant.

Terrin was pure bred Arabian with a mischievous streak a mile wide. She was a good all rounder with plenty of experience in the competition field, but was very heavy in the mouth, and could be uncooperative when she got excited. Genma was usually the one who rode her, and they got along like a house on fire. Which led him to question who exactly was going to go along. It was granted that he and Sasuke were going, and Neji and Ino and Kakashi. But that left three horses without riders, and Sasuke had said that they weren't going to hire out unless it was absolutely necessary.

"So, Sakura will ride Jenga," Kakashi was saying. "Genma on Terrin and Kiba on Kobi."

Naruto tried to deny the fact that his heart sank when he mentioned Sakura but he couldn't. He had really hoped that she wouldn't go, not because he was sick of her and didn't want her around, but because he needed a bit of guilt free time with Sasuke. Still, he supposed it couldn't be helped. Obviously fate had decided that he needed to be constantly reminded of his crimes.

"We'll need to take someone else to help out with preparations and all that. Ten-ten I think. Raidou and Shikamaru can stay here and hold down the fort," Kakashi was thinking out loud as he looked down at his schedule. "I've already got Iruka organizing accommodation, and I've started to work on getting the registration papers. I'll have the guys start getting the horses ready for dressage. What events will you and Naruto be entering?"

"We'll be doing the three day event. Ino and Neji will do show jumping and dressage."

"Right. I'll get started on the details. Are you sure that Sora will be ready in time?"

This last question was directed at Naruto.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. We'll have to work hard on her jumping, and I'll have to do a fitness assessment on her before we can start any real work. I'm not sure her previous owner was working her much."

"Right. We'll take her out first thing tomorrow morning and have a look." Kakashi told him. "I take it you've decided against the extra horses, Sasuke-sama?"

"I have. We'll make do with what we have for the time being. My father is going over those extension plans we were talking about. If they go ahead we'll need more stable hands, you realize."

Naruto started with a jolt. He hadn't been aware of any extension plans. But then, there was a lot he didn't know, and didn't need to know. He was just a stable hand after all.

The meeting was an eye opener though. The competition was a month away. And he had a lot of work to do with Sora if he had any hope of competing. There were vet checks to go through, tests to learn, and all sorts of things that he hadn't thought about.

The weight of it all came crashing down on him as he and Sasuke left Kakashi's office together. The afternoon sun cast the quiet barn into shadow, and there was no one around. Naruto groaned quietly as the thought of yet another thing he had to do occurred to him, and Sasuke chuckled quietly beside him.

"Don't worry about it too much. Let Kakashi and Iruka worry about the details. You just concentrate on Sora."

"I suppose I'll have to, won't I?"

"I suppose you will," Sasuke smiled at him as they approached the exit of the deserted aisle. He kissed Naruto's temple, and he had to hide his shiver of pleasure at the sensation.

"Come meet me up at the house at seven." He whispered, and then he was gone. Naruto stood still for a moment, reluctant to leave the early afternoon peace. Now he had something to look forward to. He turned away to finish his chores, the skin where Sasuke had kissed him still tingling warmly.

- - - - - - - - -

Sasuke was waiting in his car, his music turned down quietly as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. Naruto was never late, so it wouldn't be long until he arrived.

He was itching to get away from the oppression of the mansion. He loved the place; it was his home and he couldn't ever imagine being able to leave it completely. It drew him in a way that he didn't understand, and held him captive with it's strange magic. There was just a few things about it he couldn't stand. The burning anger he felt in Itachi's presence, the simmering resentment that boiled within his whenever his father came home.

Sometimes the whole lifestyle got too much for him, and he felt like the walls were closing in on him. Normally he could lose himself in his music, or his art, or his horses, but there were times when even they weren't enough. So he had to get out, leave the place behind him for awhile until he felt strong enough to face the whole routine over again.

The upcoming competition provided the perfect distraction. It wouldn't be long after the competition that he would have to return to University and finish his degree.

And Naruto...he was fast becoming addictive. He couldn't imagine what it would be like not seeing him every day. The blond was a contradiction in himself. He was the picture of fragility with his haunted blue eyes and yet he could withstand abuse better than anyone. He might break down, break apart, but somehow he always managed to get back on his feet and move forwards. It was a strength that Sasuke secretly admired. It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was some great darkness in his past, and that it haunted him like a ghost. To be able to even consider moving on from something that heavy and painful was strength in itself.

Sasuke had known no great tragedy in his life, only frustration and helpless rage. He hadn't lost anyone who he loved, and he had never been taken advantage of in any way. Yet at times he felt dangerously close to the edge of an indefinable void that scared him.

The feel of Naruto in his arms was indescribable in many ways. It had felt that if he could break the strange creature within his arms if he even moved in the wrong direction. But those eyes had held him captive, so deep with their intensity, and the whirlwind of emotions that Sasuke had immediately lost himself within them and forgotten who he was entirely. Naruto was a danger, an adrenaline high that he had never experienced before, and he wanted more, wanted all he could get of him. So how could he want him so much and in so many different ways if he was scared of him?

Naruto created more questions than he answered. At times he radiated a calmness and a peace that reached into the very heart of him. Other times he exuded a pain so deep that it threatened to break him apart right where he stood. That was part of his mystery, Sasuke supposed. He'd always been good at reading people, but reading Naruto was next to impossible for him.

Sasuke shifted in his seat as Naruto emerged from around a corner of the mansion and headed his way. He watched him intently, studying the way he walked. He was dressed in his usual baggy jeans, and an old scuffed hoody that had seen better days. His blond hair was haloed in the dying light, shining iridescently like nothing he had ever seen before. The normally tanned skin seemed an even darker golden brown in the orange sunlight.

Naruto always walked with his head down like he was afraid to look people in the face for fear of being judged. The younger man frustrated him so much sometimes, but then went and did something that made his frustrations fade and be replaced by something close to affection.

Now he was straying too close to truths that he wasn't prepared to face. He didn't know what he felt when it came to Naruto; desire, certainly, and curiosity, but there was something else as well. A warmth he couldn't put a name to when he saw one of Naruto's rare, true smiles. Not knowing what he felt was something alien to Sasuke. He always knew how he felt about something or someone, and he never hesitated when it came to making decisions. And the lack of knowledge he had when it came to Naruto was enough to keep him awake at

night.

Sasuke was forced from his thoughts when Naruto opened the passenger door and slid inside with that same unconscious gracefulness that he carried himself with.

"Hi." Naruto smiled at him.

Sasuke thought that Naruto was looking lighter and happier than he had since the moment they had met. The thought that he was the one who contributed to the change in Naruto was a warming and a sobering one all at once.

Instead, he gave Naruto a genuine smile.

"Hey. Ready to go?"

Naruto nodded, and Sasuke started the engine, the purr of the sports engine like music to his ears. Naruto was his usual quiet self as they drove out of the Uchiha Estate, and that was fine with Sasuke. He wasn't really in the mood for idle chatter, and Naruto wasn't the type to talk aimlessly, which was part of the reason why Sasuke liked his company. Naruto didn't hide the truth behind fancy words. If he had something to say, he said it straight forward and truthfully. Often without confidence, and needing some prompting, but he was honest, and that was a refreshing change for Sasuke. He had never met anyone who didn't sugar coat their words for one of the Uchiha line, and it never failed to fascinate him when talking to Naruto.

As the estate disappeared behind them, Sasuke felt some of the tension gripping him loosen and fade. He didn't mean to brood, but he knew that when things got too much for him he unconsciously did and it annoyed him that it happened without him noticing most of the time.

"Where are we going?" Naruto asked, in that soft, quiet voice of his. Sasuke often had to listen closely lest he miss something.

Those lips were just as soft as his words, and his mouth sweeter than any he had known. And he had known a lot. Sasuke wondered what Naruto thought if he knew just how many people Sasuke had been with. He wasn't lacking in experience, and Naruto wasn't the first virgin he had been with, but he was definitely different that any he had known. Sure, he had been with several shy people with sweet personalities, but with Naruto, that sweetness was mingled with something intangible that he couldn't quite grasp.

But that mouth held a poison that Sasuke was quickly losing the ability to resist. He found himself longing for the touch of Naruto's lips against his own at the oddest of times. And the feel of those callused, and work worn hands on his skin had sent shivers up his spine. All the people he had been with were rich in some way, and probably hadn't ever seen a days honest hard work. Naruto worked his ass off every day, and it was clear that he loved his job and threw himself wholeheartedly into everything he did. Horses responded willingly to him, and the people he surrounded himself with obviously adored him and cared deeply for him. It must be that vulnerability that drew people, Sasuke thought to himself. If people didn't want to take advantage of that, then they wanted to protect it.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke shook himself free of his ponderings for the second time, and concentrated on the question.

"There's a small seaside town about an hours drive from here. I thought we might go for a walk or something," he paused and frowned then. "You've been working today. I didn't think that you might be too tired."

Sasuke mentally kicked himself for that oversight, but as usual, Naruto was quick to reassure him.

"No, it's okay. A walk sounds great."

Sasuke nodded, and concentrated on the road before him. They lapsed into silence, and Sasuke was once against surprised at the easiness of it. Most of the time people would shift uneasily, and try to find something to talk about. When he glanced over at him, Naruto was looking out the window, his blue eyes lost in thought. That was just fine with him, Sasuke decided, smiling.

Naruto was dozing by the time they pulled into a deserted parking lot that overlooked the sea. The sun had just set, and the sky was alight with fire. Sasuke tore his eyes away and looked at Naruto. His face was turned away from Sasuke but he could see the reflection in the window. It was the first time Sasuke had seen him truly relaxed, and he thought that it was perhaps one of the most beautiful things he had seen.

The twinge in his heart had him shifting uncomfortably and reaching over the shake his shoulder. He paused for a moment though, before reaching out and brushing his fingers over the soft golden strands of his hair. At least they were together for the time being. It gave him time to begin to understand Naruto, and understand exactly what the stirring emotions within him actually were.

Not sure what he was doing, he leaned over and brushed his lips over the satiny skin of his cheek, trailing them down over his jaw to the sensitive skin under his ear.

"Wake up, Naruto. We're here," he murmured against the warmth of his skin. The boy beneath him stirred, turning his head towards Sasuke and resting his cheek against his hair.

" 'suke?" came the sleepy mumble.

"Yeah. You awake yet?" Sasuke smiled against the tan of his skin, and pressed another kiss where his shoulder met his neck.

"Think so."

He felt Naruto's hand come up and rest on the nape of his neck and goose bumps raced down his back. Sasuke pulled back far enough to look into those dark blue eyes.

"You must be tired, huh?"

Naruto shook his head wordlessly, his eyes flickering down to his lips before rising to meet his own once more. Sasuke grinned as he read the invitation in his eyes. Without hesitation, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Naruto's with a certainty that surprised him. One thing he did know for certain was that he wanted to taste the nectar that was Naruto's lips again and again until he suffocated himself on their intoxicating sweetness.

And when Naruto opened up to him so willingly it made him wonder if he would ever be able to let whatever this was go.

* * *

1) Floating is the name for transporting horses in those horse trailers you see on the roads. Some are designed to hold one or two horses, but the big trucks can hold quite a few (not sure exactly how many, because some of the trucks are so big they have living areas for people as well!)

2) There are such things as horse toys by the way. Things like balls that you stuff carrots and apples in that they have to roll around to get them out. Toys like that prevent horses from getting bored (whether they are in a stable or field) and getting into bad habits that are harmful to their health, like wind sucking etcetc.

3) I will explain what the Three Day Event is closer to the competition. The author notes are already too long in this chapter!

A/N: I hope you're all getting the Sasuke/Naruto goodness that you've been craving, cos this chapter was a biatch to write. I'm trying to develop the emotional connection as well as the physical one, and that's more difficult that actually writing a lemon, I think!

Anyway, there's two ways that we can take the next chapter. We could a) continue on from this scene, or b) we could move onto the next day. I'm not sure which I want to do, so opinions are appreciated. And I hope you enjoyed Sasuke's perspective. Short, I know, but it's all I can manage now that my inspiration has taken itself off on a vacation.

My ego is slobbering for attention once more. Feed it before it devours me in anger?


	23. Someday

**Disclaimer: **Characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their wonderful creator.

**Warnings: **Angst, Swearing, Yaoi, OCC. Lime in this chapter

**Authors Note: ** Having read all the wonderful reviews and relied upon my own intuition, I've decided to pick up from the last scene and continue from there. I've also decided to reward all of your patience with a few gifts! So hold on to the edge of your seats folks, cos you're in for a hell of a ride! (Not literally, of course...)

But before that, I have two things I want to say.

First of all, to my wonderful new Beta, who is amazing for taking on the painstaking and frustrating task of keeping me on track. Just wanted to say THANK YOU! and you are my new hero, Chibikoi! Hope you enjoy this!

And secondly, the new review count is 851 and the hit count is 110,058. Word count is currently 99,862 as of the last chapter. And every time I write that about the review count, it goes up again and I have to change it! Not that I'm complaining or anything

* * *

Chapter 21: _Someday_

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke. They were walking side by side along the deserted beach, the dying sun enfolding them in golden light and the breeze gentle and cool on their backs. The sand beneath his feet was cold, but it felt nice.

He was fairly sure that he was glowing. Sasuke had a way of doing that to him, of causing him to forget everything else and just make him live in the moment as himself. It was an alien feeling to him, just existing, and he still wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with himself.

Sasuke's eyes were distant, but his earlier frustrations seemed to have disappeared. Bathed as he was in the sunset's light with the sound of the waves as in the background, Naruto felt as if his heart would explode with all the love he felt at that moment.

Still, Sasuke looked a little too lost for his liking. As they wandered, he moved closer and tentatively slipped his hand into his. Sasuke started in surprise, but then enveloped his hand with his own larger one, and sent a brief smile in his direction.

"What's bothering you Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Maybe I can help?"

Sasuke seemed to shake himself from his thoughts and come back down to earth at his offer, and Naruto was immensely relieved. He blushed when Sasuke smiled slightly at him and pulled him closer.

"Ah, it's nothing that really matters."

Steeling his nerves and strengthening his resolve, Naruto stopped walking and pulled Sasuke to a halt. The Uchiha looked back at him in confusion and surprise.

"I don't need you to shelter me, Sasuke, if you think it'll upset me. I'd like to help, if you'd let me," he told him quietly.

Sasuke was considering him sharply, and Naruto wanted to shift under his direct gaze but he forced himself to stay still and be patient.

Eventually, Sasuke nodded at him.

"Okay. We'll talk." he said. "Let's sit down."

Sasuke led him over to a small grassy rise that looked out over the beach and the ocean beyond. They sat down together, close enough that their shoulders were brushing. Naruto shivered as Sasuke's heat pressed against his arm.

"So, what's going on?" He prompted after a few minutes of silence.

Sasuke sighed and pushed some loose hair away from his face. He was sitting with his legs raised and his elbows resting on his knees as he looked out over the dark gray of the sea. Naruto was entranced; Sasuke was picture perfect in every way, and he wished he had a camera to take a picture of him as he was in that moment.

"This is getting complicated, you know?" Sasuke said, finally looking down at the grass and pulling some loose to play with. "I was just thinking that if we want to keep doing this, me and you I mean, then we're going to have to make sure that it doesn't reach my father's ears. Or Itachi's for that matter."

Naruto chewed his lip as he turned this over in his mind. So it seemed that they were worrying over the same things. Fear of being found out, anxiety about what would happen when people did. It wasn't something that could just be ignored. They would have to come up with some sort of solution to the problem and soon if they had any chance of surviving what fallout would come from.

"Sasuke..."

"Whatever it is, just say it, Naruto. There's no one here but you and me, and you know that I want to hear what you think," Sasuke said, sounding tired.

Naruto supposed that he must be tired of always telling him the same thing. But he was always afraid of saying something to anger Sasuke, and as a result driving him away forever. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did that.

"You do want this, right? You want...me?" Naruto asked shyly looking down.

Sasuke didn't reply for a long moment, and Naruto had to look up to see his face.

"Yes."

Relief flooded through Naruto like a dam opening, and he smiled at Sasuke, joy screaming to explode from his chest. Sasuke wanted him.

A warm hand caressed his cheek, a rough thumb rubbing over his cheek bone, and Naruto was captured in the soft darkness of Sasuke's eyes.

"That was never in doubt, Naruto." he murmured. A moment later, the hand dropped away, and he missed the contact immediately.

"My point was that we need to be careful about the way we handle this. If we want to keep this going, then we need to watch the way we act around each other." Sasuke continued.

Naruto nodded, plucking at the grass and contemplating telling Sasuke about Tenten. He didn't want to make him upset, and jolt them from their pleasant world they had created together, but he felt that he had a right to know.

"Ten-ten knows," he blurted out, then winced at the crude phrasing of what he had wanted to say. "She saw us together."

Sasuke didn't react for a long moment, and Naruto watched him anxiously.

"You're not angry, are you?"

The dark head next to him shook, but Sasuke was shredding a piece of grass meticulously with his fingernails, and wasn't looking at him.

"Can you trust her?"

"Of course," he answered instantly. "She won't tell anyone."

"Good."

They sat in silence for awhile, Naruto thinking about how much easier this whole thing would be if they didn't have to run around hiding. He would still feel awkward and shy, and no doubt somewhat embarrassed, but it would be a weight off his shoulders, that was for sure.

He jumped when Sasuke took his hand and started to play with his fingers, stroking along the back of his hand and running his thumb along the end of each ragged nail. Naruto relished the contact, loving the way it warmed him down to his toes, and set his body a buzz with swirling emotions. He realized after a few moments that Sasuke wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. It seemed like he was always needed to be doing something with his hands. It was like he couldn't just keep still and rest; he always needed to be moving, like he would break apart if he wasn't.

It was a curious habit, and one that intrigued Naruto. But it was just one of the many little things that made up Sasuke, and Sasuke was a mystery to him. If he had a million years, he didn't think that he would ever discover exactly what it was that made him tick.

He hesitated for a moment before he rested his forehead on the broadness of Sasuke's shoulder.

"Why don't you want your father to know about this?" Naruto asked. As he'd guessed, he felt the instinctive tensing of Sasuke's shoulder beneath him, and he shifted slightly so that it was his cheek resting against him instead. The absentminded exploration of his hands didn't stop though, and Naruto was glad. It was relaxing, and Naruto let himself slip further into the sleepy contentedness that he had felt when Sasuke had woken him previously.

"Because he wouldn't understand. Neither would Itachi," was the predictable answer. "Father would never approve of me mingling with the hired help, not to mention another male. He has big plans for my future."

"I'm sure he means well," Naruto said, trying to ease Sasuke's tension and anger.

Sasuke sighed. "I know he means well. But it doesn't matter to him what I want. All that matters is that I fit into his plans and not do anything to fuck them up."

"I don't think you should write him off so easily. You shouldn't take such things for granted," Naruto said softly. "Sometimes I wish..."

Sasuke looked down at him, his eyes alight with curiosity now. At least it was better than animosity and bitterness, he decided.

"You wish what?"

Naruto sat up, although he didn't pull his hand away. Part of him was bursting to tell someone about what had happened with his father, not only because it was Sasuke, but also because he just needed to get it off his chest. He needed someone to just listen to everything that raged within his mind constantly, and not judge him for it.

But the other part of him was screaming at him not to push away the one good thing he had found for himself. He couldn't lose Sasuke to something so dark that was in the past.

But, he reasoned with himself, who said he had to tell the whole story? If he told parts of it, a bit at a time, then maybe he could ease him into knowing the full story. He desperately wanted Sasuke to know everything about him, all his secrets, all the dirty lies, because he wanted just one person to know him inside and out, no exceptions. But he was dirty, too tainted for the pure person sitting beside him.

Naruto had to force his next words carefully out, needing to get his point across, but also needing to shelter himself at the same time.

"Sometimes I wish I still had parents to worry about me," he replied, focusing intently on their entwined hands.

Sasuke's thumb was stroking the back of his hand, an action meant to soothe, he was sure.

"Your parents died, didn't they?" Sasuke asked after a moment.

Naruto nodded.

"My mother passed away not long after I was born. I never knew her. And I don't remember anything about her, just what my father told me when I was younger."

"And your father?"

Naruto was trying desperately to quell the flow of words but when Sasuke asked like that, when he listened without judgment, he just couldn't seem to resist. He thought that if Sasuke asked for his very life, he would give it in an instant.

"My father...was killed," he forced out, a lump forming in his throat. _Because of me, _he wanted to add.

Even after years had passed, the guilt and grief hadn't faded in the slightest. He had thought that it would get easier to live with as time passed, but that was just another lie he'd disillusioned himself with. False comfort, some people would have called it. And it was false. There was nothing real about the lies he had used to reassure himself over the years, and he knew that there wouldn't ever be. It seemed like he would have to live on with the raw and gaping wounds that had been inflicted by his own naive actions all those years ago.

He jumped when Sasuke turned over his hand, and used his free one to push up the sleeve slightly, revealing the countless jagged white scars that marred his wrists. Naruto froze, wanting to pull away and run, but there was no way he could force his body to move with the fear he felt. No one had ever seen his physical scars. They were a visible reminder of all the wrong he had done, all the sins he had committed and everything he wanted so desperately to forget.

Careful fingers ran over the raised ridges of his scars, tracing a few very gently.

"Is that why you've got these?"

Naruto couldn't speak for a moment, staring as he was at his wrist. Sasuke knew. He was stunned completely, but made an effort to pull himself together once more. This was just another test, he told himself. It was a test to see if Sasuke would reject him, and push him away because he had a shadowed past.

"It's one of the reasons," he whispered hoarsely. That old familiar shame was flooding him once more. He shouldn't be with Sasuke. He was trash, unworthy of anything good or simple now.

A firm hand raised his chin, and Naruto looked into those dark eyes with his heart in his throat and tears in his eyes.

"You shouldn't ever be ashamed of who you are, Naruto. These are a part of you, and whatever the reason for them, they are a part of your past that you should accept." Sasuke told him. Then he raised Naruto's wrist and brushed his lips over the marred skin, never once breaking eye contact.

Naruto's breath caught on a sob and he couldn't hold Sasuke's intense gaze anymore.

"I'm not as strong as you are. There's no way I can ever take back what I did..."

"Bullshit," Sasuke said, his voice taking on a hardened quality. "Maybe one day you'll be able to tell me all about what happened. But there's no way I'll believe that you're not as strong as me. If anything, you're stronger."

Naruto whipped his eyes up to Sasuke's in shock.

"There's no way..."

"You've survived this long with whatever caused this. You're a fighter Naruto, and that's more than I'll ever be."

Naruto didn't quite know how to respond to that, so he shut his mouth and stared at the way their fingers were entwined. Tan and white, a strange combination, but it seemed right. Sasuke was aristocracy, and he was working class. It was completely unheard of for the two to mix, and it was a scandal, yet they seemed to complement each other just fine.

A strange sort of peace had settled over Naruto. The sorrow was still there, as was the guilt and the shame, but Sasuke's words and faith in Naruto had touched something within him.

Another few moments passed before Naruto worked up the courage to move closer and press his face into Sasuke's shoulder once more. He inhaled the wonderful clean scent of Sasuke and marveled at the comfort that flowed into him. A hand came up and long fingers tangled in his hair, stroking and scratching slightly.

This was right, Naruto realized. No one could ever tell them differently. How could something that felt so pure and so untainted be wrong? It wasn't. Love was never wrong and it had been his father who had taught him that, and he was only just beginning to learn what that meant.

His heart was pounding in his chest, a result of the whirlwind of emotions and the closeness of Sasuke. He lifted his head after a moment, and shivered as the hand playing with his hair trailed off down his neck.

This time it was him who kissed Sasuke, brushing his lips softly over the porcelain skin. When Sasuke turned his head towards him, he leaned forward, surprised by his own forwardness and pressed his lips to Sasuke's.

Sasuke seemed surprised but pleased with his advances, and Naruto sighed as his arms enfolded him in their warmth. As he slipped his arms around Sasuke's neck, the kiss deepened, and Naruto tasted Sasuke on his tongue. If he had all the time in the world, he knew that he wouldn't ever get tired of the way he tasted, or the way it felt when Sasuke was holding him. The Uchiha pulled him closer, his arms tightening around him as the kiss grew hungrier and more desperate.

Sasuke bit at his lips teasingly before kissing him once more, their mouths dancing a slow dance as they started to relearn the way the other tasted. Naruto didn't know much about what they were doing, or what they could do, but he knew that he wasn't so afraid anymore, and he trusted Sasuke to the bottom of his heart. Sasuke would never do anything to hurt him. In the short time they had known each other, he had come to learn that quickly.

And god did he want Sasuke. He wanted those hands on him, wanted to experience the same burning emotions he felt whenever Sasuke touched him, or kissed him. And he wanted to make Sasuke happy too, wanted to make him feel good, and help him forget whatever demons were haunting him.

With this in mind, he slid his hands under the hem of Sasuke's shirt and ran his hands up the smooth length of his back, his mind buzzing with mind-numbing pleasure at the feel of all his soft skin, and the heat of his mouth. His hands mapped out the muscled expanse of Sasuke's long back, his gut tightening at the feel of his hardened muscles.

Sasuke groaned softly into his mouth, and moved away slightly, trailing his mouth along his jawline before going to work on the skin beneath his ear, sucking and biting gently. Naruto gasped and clenched his eyes shut at the heat this created. Bolts of pure pleasure rushed down south, and before he knew it he was achingly hard and wanting as much of Sasuke as he could get.

Naruto turned his face into Sasuke's silky hair, and slid one of his hands around to Sasuke's side.

"Naruto..." Sasuke murmured. "If you want me to stop, now would be a good time. I don't think I could..."

"Don't stop," Naruto interrupted. "I don't want you to."

Sasuke pulled back and looked at him, his eyes searching. Naruto met his gaze squarely, trying to convey all the trust and love he felt for Sasuke in that one glance.

One day I'll tell him, he thought, losing himself in the impossibly dark eyes before him. Never had he seen anyone as beautiful as Sasuke. His lips were moist and full from their kisses, his hair mussed and his eyes burning with hunger and an intensity that never failed to light Naruto up with want.

But he understood Sasuke's hesitation well enough. If they took this as far as they could, then there would be no going back. It was a big step to take and a hard line to cross. The only question was, were they brave enough to do it? Were they honest enough to admit that this was more than just an infatuation, more than just lust and curiosity?

Naruto thought he was. And at least on his side, he knew that it was more than lust. He was in love with Sasuke, and he knew that he always would be. The fear he had once felt towards the youngest Uchiha had been transformed into a soul deep, heart binding love that would forever be with him. Sasuke was a part of him and he always would be, no matter what happened in the future.

He leaned his forehead against Sasuke, not breaking the eye contact. Sasuke closed his eyes, still holding Naruto close. He wondered if Sasuke looked as beautiful when he slept as he did at that moment. Naruto felt his heart ache with the love he felt for Sasuke. He wanted to show Sasuke just how he felt, but had no idea how to do so. So he remained where he was, feeling Sasuke's warm heat, and the pulsing of his blood and his love and want, wondering if anything could ever feel as good as he did at that moment.

Sasuke had yet again made him forget his troubles, and he hoped with all his heart that he had returned the favor. Sasuke had told him that he needed to get away for awhile and Naruto was insanely glad that it had been with him.

He pulled Sasuke a little closer, tracing small patterns on the warm skin of Sasuke's back and smiling when he felt him shiver minutely.

A moment later he was on his back, staring up at the night sky behind Sasuke. Surprised, he looked at Sasuke, and was treated to a wickedly sexy grin for a second before that devilishly sweet mouth was back on his, and those warm hands were undoing his jacket and shirt with swift and sure hands that had Naruto gasping into Sasuke's mouth.

He was on fire, his emotions ebbing and flowing and all he could concentrate on was Sasuke's hot, wet mouth on his own, working his cool dark magic.

Moments later, Naruto moaned when Sasuke's hands began to brush over the bare skin of his chest fleetingly, trailing fire in his wake. He shivered and whimpered, shocked at how wanton he sounded, but not really caring much as Sasuke continued to touch him. A pinky caught on one of his nipples and he cried out at the zap of tingling pleasure this caused. Sasuke started at his reaction, but chuckled as he pulled his mouth away slightly.

"You have to keep quiet. Someone might hear you," he mumbled against his mouth. But, knowing this, he repeated the action on purpose, catching Naruto's ragged whimper in his mouth.

He whimpered again when Sasuke pulled away for a second time, but was gasping a moment later when that hot mouth latched onto one of his nipples and began to suck slowly, nipping and licking in a way that had him wanting to scream but was unable to, reduced to wordless moaning and gasping by his actions.

His hands were buried in Sasuke's long, dark hair that had fallen free from its pony tail, and he was heaving for breath in a way that he never had been before. It was all so new and startling, yet it felt familiar in a way to him that nothing ever had been. But he didn't have long to think about that because a moment later Sasuke had pulled away and covered his body with his own. Naruto's gasp of surprise was swallowed by Sasuke's mouth as he claimed it in a fierce kiss. Naruto's legs had automatically parted to accommodate Sasuke's weight, and Naruto (he) arched up as Sasuke pressed down on him _there_, creating delicious pressure on his impossibly hard arousal. He'd never imagined that having someone covering him, pressing against him everywhere so completely would ever feel so good, but Sasuke was. Pressed chest to chest, stomach to stomach and hip to hip, he could feel every breath, every heart beat of Sasuke's and it made his head spin giddily.

Sasuke broke off the kiss and looked down at him.

"You okay?"

There were no words to describe just how okay he was at that moment. There was no fear, no hesitancy anymore. Just heat and pressure and a desire so strong he felt he would choke on it.

So he just nodded, and Sasuke lowered his mouth to tease his neck with wet, open mouthed kisses on his over sensitive and flushed skin.

Naruto cried out a moment later when Sasuke rocked his hips ever so slightly, experimentally. He was in Heaven, he was sure. He could feel the hard length of Sasuke pressing against him, and he needed more, needed Sasuke's hands on him again and he thought he was going to die if he didn't feel him soon.

Sasuke rocked slowly again, and Naruto slid a hand down onto Sasuke's ass without thinking, needed to feel him pressed closer, presser even more tightly against him.

"S-sasuke..." he breathed pressing a desperate kiss to the hot skin beneath Sasuke's ear.

Sasuke raised his head and stared down at him as he deliberately rolled his hips once more. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip in a futile attempt to smother his whimper.

He felt Sasuke lower his head again as he continued his rocking motions, and soft lips rested against his mouth. Not kissing, just resting there as he moved.

"Don't close your eyes," Sasuke breathed.

So Naruto had to forcibly open his eyes, unable to believe the incredible sensations flowing throughout his body as he met that heated gaze. Sasuke's hair hung down around them, and Naruto held that gaze, although he kept biting his lower lip as Sasuke continued to rock and slide against him.

"Touch me, Naruto," Sasuke murmured. "I want to feel your hands on my skin."

Obediently, Naruto slid his hands up Sasukes back, feeling the sweat damp skin under his hands and marveling at how astoundingly perfect this whole thing was. If he could capture the feelings somehow, then he would have, and he would have treasured them forever. As it was, all he had was this memory, the memory of Sasuke moving against him, and Sasuke's wickedly sinful mouth, and his breathtaking beauty. It was all he had, and all he ever wanted to have.

With a sudden, blinding rush, he was arching under Sasuke, his eyes closing themselves and he was seeing stars, vaguely aware of Sasuke's mouth claiming his once more as he shuddered uncontrollably, sticky heat spreading in his jeans. Nothing had ever felt so intense before, and when he had bought himself to orgasm before, it had never felt so amazing. Sasuke was still moving against him, but Naruto was beyond awareness at that point, clinging helplessly to Sasuke as he was taken away on the waves of pleasure.

Moments later, Sasuke was collapsing on top of him, the weight of him trapping Naruto underneath him. But he didn't mind in the slightest. The weight, and heat of him was keeping Naruto grounded, and reminding him that it was actually real, and that it had happened. He hadn't realized that Sasuke was so heavy before, nor that he was significantly taller than he was, and Naruto was in awe of everything that was Sasuke.

As he slowly came back to reality, he became aware of several things. The first was that Sasuke was like a furnace on top of him, the amount of heat he was producing was incredible. He could feel warm, sweet breath fanning his neck gently, and he tightened his arms around Sasuke's back fractionally, never wanting to let go.

The next thing he became aware of was the fact that he had just come in his pants, and with very little stimulation. Embarrassment and mortification was slowly creeping over him, and he knew that he would be unable to look Sasuke in the eyes for a couple of days at least.

Sasuke must have sensed some of this, because he raised his head and looked down at him, looking flushed and attractively rumpled. He looked at Naruto for a long moment, calculation clear in his eyes.

"Don't go getting all weird on me now," he said eventually, his voice slightly hoarse.

"I wasn't..."

"This is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about," Sasuke told him critically. "This is you and me, and there's nothing wrong with what just happened."

Belatedly, Naruto realized that he was speaking the truth. Why did it always take someone pointing something out that was blindingly obvious for him to realize the truth? He cursed himself silently, looking at Sasuke's neck instead as he tried to think of something to put things right. But it was hard to even think straight when he was lying beneath Sasuke, warm and safe and feeling treasured beyond belief.

"Besides," Sasuke continued, his voice dropping several octaves into a sensual drawl as he lowered his lips to Naruto's neck. "I like making you come."

Naruto shuddered, closing his eyes as Sasuke brushed his lips gently over his burning skin before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"So..." Naruto swallowed when Sasuke broke away, and tried to concentrate. "What happens now?"

"Well, now we clean ourselves up and head back home. It's starting to get cold."

"No, I meant..."

"I know what you meant." Sasuke interrupted quietly. He was looking down at Naruto once more, his eyes soft and warm. "Now we go on as we always have. Except now you'll be thinking about me all the time."

_I'm always thinking about you anyway, _Naruto thought to himself, but he didn't say it out loud. He loved the way Sasuke was teasing him playfully, and wondered if he was always like this after sex. He was so open and willing to please and talk. It was a wonderful feeling, being with Sasuke like this. Now that the fire and urgency had faded, he found that he wanted Sasuke more than ever. He wanted to get to know this different person that was before him. And this different version of Sasuke was probably what he would be like if he wasn't so burdened by propriety and obligations all the time. It was now his task to try and unmask this real and solid version of Sasuke.

Naruto smiled up at Sasuke and Sasuke was smiling back openly for once. Naruto focused on his dimples, and reached up to touch one reverently. Sasuke reached up and caught his hand, holding it and entwining their fingers.

"I don't want you to worry about this, Naruto. This is natural, and it's right, and whatever else you might believe, believe that as well."

He already did, and there was no way he could doubt what had just happened between them. And he wanted Sasuke all over again, but he was growing cold, and the dampness in his pants was growing uncomfortable.

"I know. I won't." he promised, then hesitated for a moment. "Will I see you again? Soon?"

He cursed himself for sounding clingy, because he knew that Sasuke hated that, but Sasuke didn't seem bothered. Instead, he smiled down at him once more.

"Of course." Sasuke lowered his head again so his mouth was next to Naruto's ear. "And the next time we're alone together like this? It's going to be even better. I can promise you that."

Naruto shivered deliciously at the hint of dark pleasures to come in Sasuke's smoky voice, and pulled him closer, raising a hand to run his fingers through his silky smooth hair.

After a little while of just simply existing against one another, Sasuke pulled back, with something like regret written on his face.

"We should start heading back. Everyone will be wondering where you are."

Before Naruto could reply, warm lips were pressing against his, and he lost himself once more in Sasuke's kiss. It was the sweetest torture that had ever been invented, and Naruto wanted more than anything to spend the rest of the night with Sasuke, but even after everything they had just shared, he wasn't sure if he was quite ready for that yet. He was happy to just be with Sasuke as he had been, and even if he couldn't always touch him when he wanted, just being able to look at him and hear his voice was enough to warm Naruto through.

Eventually though, Sasuke ended the kiss and carefully lifted himself off of Naruto. For a moment he just lay there, cold and missing Sasuke already. But Sasuke was standing above him, offering a hand up.

Forcing his body to move, Naruto accepted his hand and got to his shaky feet. Sasuke made sure that he was standing steadily before letting him go. He looked down at his business pants with a grimace of distaste as he brushed himself off.

"Been years since I've come in my pants like that," he grumbled. "I forgot how disgusting it feels."

Naruto smiled, and silently agreed. He was sticky and uncomfortable, and wanting another warm shower, and he was pretty sure that he could smell the mingled scents of himself and Sasuke and sweaton his skin, and the very thought sent warm shivers down his spine.

But he brushed himself off and straightened his clothing before looking up at Sasuke. The dark man was watching him with something close to a smile on his face. Naruto colored self consciously before standing on his toes and pressing a kiss on Sasuke's chin.

Sasuke let out a full smile then, and wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders.

"You ready?"

_No, _he wanted to say. _I don't want to go back. I want to stay here with you. _

But instead he nodded, and let Sasuke lead him back to the car. Even the uncomfortable dampness in his pants wasn't enough to diminishhis happiness at that moment.

- - - -

Somehow, he managed to avoid everyone as he slipped back into the quarters. He grabbed some clothes and fled for the shower, sighing in relief when he found the bathroom empty.

When the hot water was pounding down on the skin of his back, Naruto looked down at his body and smiled at the thought of the magic that he and Sasuke had created that night. It was something special, he knew. Something drastically different. And he wondered if Sasuke thought it was as special as he did. He suspected that Sasuke wasn't a virgin, and that he had had his fair share of lovers and partners in the past, and it made him wonder if Sasuke didn't see him as just another lover, and nothing out of the ordinary.

But he had seen the intensity in those eyes, and the way Sasuke couldn't quite wipe the smile completely off his face on the drive back. And it made him think that maybe Sasuke did feel something for him. He wasn't bold enough to call it love, but something in his gut was telling him that, and while his head might not believe it, his heart most certainly did.

Steam had filled the room, and Naruto had finished washing the remainder of the night's activities from his skin, but he didn't turn the shower off just yet. Instead, tilted his head back and looked at the bathroom light through half lidded eyes and a cloud of steam.

Things were changing, and he was starting to think that it was about time. He had always been afraid of change, and had feared it instinctively. In the past, change had bought nothing but pain and fear and guilt, but not this time. Sasuke had bought him hope, as well as love and faith, and Naruto knew that there was no way that he could ever pay him back for that gift. And with hope came a desire to see the future and what it held. He felt like he could start making plans, instead of just taking it one day at a time.

The arrival of Sora had created a spark of an idea within his head that he was still turning over in his mind, considering it from all the different angles and wondering if it was feasible. It wasn't at the moment. But it could be. In the future. And he was starting to wonder just what the future held in store for him. Not only that, but he was looking forward to it as well.

He was startled out of his lazy thinking by a loud and sudden thumping on the bathroom door.

"OI! Naruto! You in there?"

It was Kiba and Naruto hesitated to answer. He didn't want to break the spell that Sasuke had made for him, but he knew that he had to eventually and that he may as well do it. He had to learn to live with this new, wonderful change and figure out where it fit in with his normal life. It was just another change he had to adjust to, and he was actually looking forward to doing so, instead of dreading it completely.

"Yeah," he answered.

There was the sound of a scuffle in the hall way, and then Sakura's voice come through the door, drowning out Kiba's muttered complaints.

"Genma's back. Kakashi just bought him back from the station." She called out to him. "Everyone's in the sitting room, if you want to join us!"

Naruto jolted and hurriedly turned off the taps.

"Okay, I'll be out in a second."

He stepped out of the shower and quickly toweled himself off, swearing quietly at himself for forgetting that Genma had been due to return that night. He pulled on a pair of tracksuit pants, and a long sleeved plain shirt before finger combing his hair briefly and throwing the door open. He braced himself to face whatever disaster Genma had endured, and told himself that he would be there for one of his oldest friends, no matter what. If Genma needed him, he'd be there. If Genma needed him to help shoulder some of his burdens, then he could do that too.

The sounds of talking and laughter from the sitting room made him hesitate for a moment, but he steeled himself and stepped into the room. The group was crowded around Genma, who was talking calmly, seeming relaxed and at ease, and Naruto sighed silently with relief. It seemed that whatever disaster he had been facing had been averted and he was ridiculously glad. He couldn't ever bear to see anyone suffer the pain off loss, and he was pleased that Genma seemed alright.

"Naruto!"

When his friend saw him enter, he beamed and stood up, crossing the room in long strides and wrapping him in a bone crushing hug. Naruto hugged him back, pleased to see him and unable to keep the smile off his face.

"Hi Genma," he murmured into the warmth of his friends chest. "Is everything okay?"

Genma set him at an arms length, though his hands remained on his shoulders, a comfortable and warm weight.

"Yeah. He pulled through just fine. He's a fighter all right." he grinned. "But how have you been? Keeping busy? Been looking after yourself?"

Naruto couldn't help laughing. Genma was back to being his protector and caretaker all at once. The older man had always been keeping a close eye on him, and it seemed that it came naturally to him.

"Yeah. Everything's fine."

_Better than fine, _ he thought to himself, and while he desperately wanted to share his secret with his closest friend, he knew that the time wasn't right just yet. But he would one day, he was sure of that, and he used that to keep his guilt at bay.

Genma was studying him with narrowed eyes, but after a moment he smiled once more, wrapped his arm around his shoulder and guided him back to the circle of their friends. Naruto leaned against him as they sat on the couch, half listening to the various conversations that were going on around him, and wondering if things could possibly get any better than they already were.

- - - - - -

The next morning Naruto felt more alive and energetic than he could ever remember. The sun was shining brightly despite the chill in the air. The others seemed to be more lively and happy as well, and went about their early morning chores with their usual playful banter and chatter.

Naruto smiled as he tipped the last of the buckets into a hungry horses feed bin; he felt...amazing. And he couldn't stop thinking about last night. It played itself over and over in his mind until he felt dizzy and breathless all over again.

"Oi Naruto," Kakashi called. "Get Sora ready. We'll fit her assessment in before I have to leave for town."

Naruto hurried to comply, feeling excited at the prospect of riding Sora again. Sora had been settled into her stall last night earlier than the other horses in order to give her time to adjust properly.

She hung her head over her stable door as he approached, watching him expectantly. She seemed calm enough as he backed her up so he could open the door, and she didn't do anything worse than trying to nip at him and lay her ears back as he fastened her halter over her head.

Naruto tied her up and set to work grooming her. As usual, he settled into the familiar routine with an ease that still surprised him. Grooming was a way to connect with a horse, his father had always told him. If you can show a horse that you trust them, and that you're willing to listen to them, then they will respond.

To Naruto, grooming was much more than a chore. When he groomed a horse, he could truly relax. It was just him and the sweet smell of warm horse, dust and sweat and fresh straw. Sora seemed to be enjoying his attentions, for she stood with half closed eyes and her ears flickering lazily. Naruto used the soft body brush first, brushing with one hand and following it with the other, feeling the silky coat beneath his fingers and watching the dust and dirt get worked out of her coat.

She had beautiful color, bold and true just like her personality. He worked his way slowly down her body, keeping up the routine of brushing and stroking to let her get accustomed to his presence.

"It's just you and me here treasure. Just you and me," he whispered.

Naruto worked his way around her hind quarters before starting on her other side. One she was groomed until she gleamed on both sides, he went about picking up her feet. Sora resisted a little at first, shifting her weight reluctantly before eventually picking up each hoof as if it were the biggest effort. He smiled as he supported her right foreleg and used the hoof pick to clean all the muck and small rocks from under the metal shoe. As he cleaned out each one, he inspected her shoes carefully, wriggling each to see if any were loose. It all seemed in order though, and she had no signs of previous foot injuries.

Satisfied, he set down the last of her hooves and straightened, stretching out his back as he did so. He gave her a pat as he went over to her stable door and picked up the saddle blankets and her saddle pad.

"There now. That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked as he approached her once more.

She merely looked at him with pricked ears and he smiled. Even if horses couldn't talk, he was often pretty sure he knew what they were thinking.

She stood steady as he placed the blankets and the saddle pad in place and pulled them up over her withers so they were sitting in the proper position.

"We're going to take it nice and easy today, girl. This is a test, to see how fit you are, so no bad behavior, understood?" he asked her with mock sternness. "The manager is going to be watching, so we'll have to show him what we've got. Right? Right."

She turned round to nip at him as he settled the saddle on her back, and he pushed at her neck lightly.

"Here now, none of that. Remember what I said about good behavior?"

She snorted and looked away, lowering her head and scratching her face on her foreleg.  
Naruto smiled to himself as he reached under her belly and grabbed the girth. She didn't react in the slightest as he did up the girth and tightened it until the saddle didn't move around. He gave her a pat on her shoulder and decided that the biting thing was just something to show she was interested, and not malicious in any way. Just a token resistance, he told himself, and just another small vice they'd need to work on.

Now came the tricky bit. The bridle. It appeared to him as if she had good days and bad days when it came to anything involving her head. On good days she would merely toss her head about and make in difficult to do anything involving her face. On bad days she would kick up a storm, and an angry one at that. Rearing, dancing, stamping and biting, it wasn't anything to be surprised by. Obviously she had been mistreated or had an accident that had left her head shy in her past. It could have been something seemingly insignificant that had left the fear with her, or it could have been a major accident, though he knew he would never find out which. He would have to figure out a way to solve the problem and soothe her fear.

He considered the bridle in his hand for a moment before looking at her again. She was watching him alertly, eyeing the bridle in his hands. She obviously knew what was about to happen, but she seemed calm enough for the moment.

"There's no helping it, I'm afraid," he murmured, half to himself. "You need a bridle, and I need to saddle you. We might as well get it over with."

He moved forward, but approached her body rather than her head. He stroked her shoulder and her withers, scratching his hands through her mane and talking quietly to her. Gradually, he worked his way up her neck, stroking and patting gently, showing her that he meant no harm. When he reached her head, her ears automatically went back, but she didn't protest any more than that. With a silent sigh of relief, he carefully undid the nose piece of her halter and offered her the bit, not touching her head at all. She shifted uneasily, and threw her head up, snorting before grudgingly accepting it into her mouth.

First step over. Careful to make as little contact with her head as possible and keeping his hands away from her eyes, he slid the halter into place and backed off, undoing the rest of her halter so she was freed.

"There. That wasn't so bad was it?" he said, pleased. He patted her neck proudly. Obviously today would be a good day.

* * *

TBC

Authors Note: This chapter was incredibly hard for me to write, but once I got going, it all seemed to come together. This is my first official posting of anything even vaguely lemony, and I hope it was realistic and not too corny for you guys. Let me know what you thought, and any suggestions and tips would be very welcome!

The next chapter will continue off from where this one left off, as it will contain some important parts of the plot.

By the way, I forget to mention this in earlier chapters. Sora's name means "sky". I thought that was nice when I was choosing from my list of names.


	24. Just Say Yes

**Disclaimer:** The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their creator/owner. I make no profit from this.

**Warnings:** Swearing, angst, yaoi.

**A/N:** Authors Notes are at the end! As of the last chapter, word count is 107,786, review count is 884 and hit count is 114, 406. Thanks for all your wondeful encouragement people!

Thanks go out to my beta Chibikoi for editing this, and for providing such wonderful support!

* * *

Chapter 22: _Just Say Yes_

"That the new girl, huh?" Genma called as he emerged from the tack room with his arms full of rope and halters. "She's a hottie alright. Make sure you treat her good, or I'll be taking her off your hands."

Genma patted Sora's shoulder as they passed and Naruto grinned at him. It was good to have Genma back amongst them, and he was glad to see that he was in good spirits.

Sora tossed her head as they emerged into the bright sunlight, eager to get going and Naruto shared her enthusiasm. It was a beautiful day to be riding, and he was just itching to see how she would perform.

Kakashi was waiting for them in the center of the outdoor arena. He was untangling a lunge line with a single minded attention that he understood all too well. The older man stood drenched in sunlight, his casual cargo pants, plain tank top and old boots was a testament to just how relaxed he was. They obviously weren't expecting any guests for the time being, and Naruto felt a twinge of disappointment. That meant that Sasuke wouldn't be making an appearance that day, and despite the man's reassurances, Naruto had to wonder if it was because of last night. He forcefully dismissed that notion though. Sasuke had made it clear that it wasn't anything he was ashamed of, and Naruto was glad. Sasuke was his confidence, and all he had to do was trust in him, which wasn't difficult at all.

Naruto shook himself back to reality and closed the gate carefully once they had entered the arena. Sora was looking around as he led her towards where Kakashi was waiting and she was crowding him as they walked. Slapping her shoulder lightly to get her attention, Naruto pushed her over a little so that she wasn't stepping on his feet all the time. She reminded him of a bumbling youth sometimes, with the way she was so eager to take everything in at once.

Kakashi looked up as he halted Sora before him.

"You all ready?"

Naruto nodded, steadying Sora as she shifted impatiently behind him.

"Good. Get those stirrups secured and attach the reins to her saddle."

Naruto obeyed immediately, running the stirrups up and feeding the stirrup leathers through the foothold to keep them in place high up on the saddle. This was done so that they wouldn't hit her sides as they lunged her. Once he had done this on both sides, he unbuckled the reins so they were hanging in two separate pieces and attached them to her saddle. While he was doing this, Kakashi fastened the lunge line to her bridle and picked up the lunge whip, a long, thin stick with a small length of material secured to the end.

"Right. Why don't you go and get yourself ready over there while I lunge her?" Kakashi suggested. "I think we'll have a bit of an audience for this."

Naruto looked up, over to the side of the arena where plastic seats were set out, and noticed that Genma and Raidou, Tenten and Shikamaru were all sitting down and talking.

"Is that all right?" Naruto asked.

He wasn't uncomfortable with the idea that they would be watching him ride, he was just unsure how Sora would react in front of a bunch of strangers.

"lt's fine. Besides, they're working, and as long as they keep working, I can't dictate where they do it."

He was right, Naruto realized. Genma and Raidou were expertly stitching broken leather and canvas back together, while Tenten and Shikamaru were rubbing harness oil into the tack and reconditioning it so it was useable and clean.

"Go and get your gear on. I'll get her started."

Naruto nodded and patted Sora's shoulder as he crossed the sandy arena to where his friends were sitting.

He sat himself down next to Raidou and set about pulling off his work boots and pulling on his longer riding ones.

"Looking forward to riding her?" Raidou asked, squinting over to where Sora was trotting sedately in a wide circle around Kakashi. "She has lovely movement."

"Yeah. She was pretty good when I rode her at Kato's," Naruto replied, picking up his leather gloves and pulling them on. "She has a few problems with jumping though. Reckon I'll have to start all over again with her on that."

"Will you have enough time before the competition? It's not that far away." Genma said. "Me and the others don't have much to worry about. I mean, the horses we'll be riding are all experienced and know how to do it all. We just have to introduce them to the new routines. But if you're training her from scratch, that'll be difficult. You'll be worked off your feet."

"You heard about the competition already, huh?" Naruto asked before shrugging. "I'm pretty sure we can do it. She's intelligent, and I'm guessing a fast learner. I don't think it'll be a problem."

"Still, if she's.…"

Sora had bolted out of her easy canter and shied backwards, pulling strongly against Kakashi's firm hold on the lunge line. Naruto watched as Kakashi stood patiently and waited for her to calm down before he approached her, gathering up the slackening line as he did so. He scanned her over quickly before starting over again.

"Bit skittish, isn't she?" Shikarmaru commented, breaking the silence.

"You should have seen the stink she kicked up when I first tried to get her over some simple jumps."

"And you think you can get her over that before the competition?" Raidou asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at him before returning his attention to the reins he was repairing.

Naruto shrugged.

"Pretty sure."

"How much you wanna bet on it?" Genma asked Raidou, his grin evident in his tone.

Tenten groaned. "Seriously, do you guys have to bet on everything? This is a big deal for Naruto, and all you guys can think of is making money from it? Pathetic!"

"Bullshit." Genma grinned at Naruto and winked. "I'm betting on you Naruto, so you have my support. I know you can do it."

Naruto smiled at him and blushed as Raidou retaliated.

"Of course I have faith in him, but I don't think you're considering all the factors in this..."

Shikamaru sighed and set aside the rag he was working on.

"Too noisy," he muttered as he lay back in the grass.

Naruto caught the affectionate look Tenten sent Shikamaru's way and smiled. She caught his eyes and blushed slightly before shifting over to sit next to him.

"How's things going with you guys anyway?" Naruto asked her softly as he tightened the buckles on his boots.

"Just fine. We're getting along a lot better now," Tenten confessed.

Naruto smiled at her. "I'm glad. You're good for each other."

"Thanks Naruto." She looked at him closely. "And you? How's things with...you know?"

Naruto flushed scarlet and looked down at the grass, unsure how to answer.

"What?" Tenten asked in an excited whisper. "Did something happen?"

He shrugged uncomfortably and flushed a deeper shade of red.

"What what what?" Tenten pestered, her voice lowered. "Did you...you _know?"_

"Naruto!" Kakashi called.

His head shot up to where the pale man stood waiting, holding Sora steady in the center of the arena.

"I gotta go..." he mumbled, shooting to his feet and hurrying out towards Kakashi. He didn't miss the open mouthed look of surprise and delight on Tenten's face though.

"You did!" she hissed out after him.

He waved a hand at her, but couldn't deny the humor in the situation. All things considered, he was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. For once, his doubts were refusing to take root in his mind, and he was glad. In fact, he was feeling better about himself than he had in years, and it was amazing to feel that way. Suddenly all the things that he hated about himself didn't seem so significant anymore, and all the ghosts in his past were staying there for the time being. He'd be damned if he didn't take advantage of that.

Kakashi handed him the reins.

"She's a bit funny, this one," his boss mused as Naruto lowered his stirrups and prepared to mount.

Naruto smiled at him.

"She's got a lot of personality though. That's what counts right?" he replied.

Kakashi returned his smile and ruffled his hair as he gripped the saddle and slipped his foot into the stirrup.

"It is. You need help to get on? She's a big girl."

Naruto shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"Right, well I'll leave you to it then. Run through the normal warm up routine we use on the other horses to start with, and we'll take it from there."

"Right."

Naruto had to jump a few times to get enough power to pull himself up into the saddle, but it wasn't too difficult. Sora shifted restlessly underneath him as he settled in the saddle, and he patted her in reward for standing steady for him.

"Just ignore the people over there, girl. It's just you and me again," he murmured as he slid his foot into the other stirrup and gathered the reins.

"Off we go."

Sora moved forward with little prompting and Naruto guided her out to the worn track around the edge of the arena. She was nodding her head and chomping at the bit as they walked, and Naruto could feel how tense she was underneath him. He had good reason to suspect that she was going to give him trouble.

Naruto relaxed his elbows and dropped his shoulders back, settling into position easily.

"Looking good Naruto. Take her through the routine," Kakashi called.

It had been awhile since he'd had someone sitting and watching him ride, calling out suggestions and instructions. The last person to do that had been his father when he was teaching Naruto how to ride.

Sora took advantage of his distraction and tossed her head high before bolting forward into a canter. Naruto gathered the reigns and immediately slowed her back to a walk.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry girl," he murmured as he turned her in a sharp circle before until they were back on track. It was a way of letting the horse know that they had done something wrong. If the horse kept messing about, and the rider kept turning the sharp circles, then eventually it would get drilled into them that what they were doing wasn't right.

There were other tactics of course. Some people stopped the horse and pulled their head around so the horse was looking back at them, and would hold them there for a few seconds. Others would make the horse back up a few steps before continuing forwards. Neither of these would work on Sora though, because she had a sensitive mouth.

Once she was walking again, he moved her forward into a trot and they started trotting out the circles, half circles and serpentines as a warm up. She completed each, albeit reluctantly. Her ears were back against her neck, and though Naruto was talking to her softly, and going easy on her mouth, she was still unhappy.

Sighing, Naruto pulled her back to a walk and nudged her over towards Kakashi, who stood up and came forward to talk to him.

"What's bothering her?"

"I have no idea. I think I'll take her for a quick gallop if that's alright. Maybe that's what's wrong."

Kakashi nodded.

"Run her down the road and back up. That should do the trick."

Naruto nodded and wheeled Sora about towards the gate that Kakashi was opening for him. Her ears automatically went forward when she saw the open gate, and Naruto grinned, already feeling the rush of adrenalin and excitement. He loosened the reins slightly and urged her forwards. She needed no encouragement though, and as soon as she felt him lean forwards she sprang into a gallop from a walk, taking off faster than he thought possible.

She could easily match Taira for speed, he thought to himself as they thundered down the road leaving a trail of dust in their wake. And Taira was a thoroughbred.

She had settled into a steady rhythm, and Naruto just slipped into that state of mind that always gripped him when galloping. He stopped thinking and just started to feel, becoming a part of Sora as she ran. He could feel her breathing heavily as they moved, could feel the heat of her through the warm leather, and the way her muscles bunched and released in a perfect cycle.

The wind screamed past them, whipping Sora's mane and tail into his face, but he didn't care; they were flying, almost as if her hooves weren't touching the ground.

They came to the end of the road too soon. Naruto was forced to slow her down enough to turn around, and then they were roaring back up the way they had come. Sora was slowing down, some of the fire that had been upsetting her spent and Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. By the time they pulled up by Kakashi, Sora was dancing, her bad mood gone.

Naruto patted her neck, grinning from ear to ear as he praised her. She arched her neck and snorted, tossing her head.

"Right. Ready to get some work done now?"

She bobbed her head as if agreeing, and he laughed as he turned her head back towards the ring.

- - - - - - - -

Naruto was had just dismounted from Sora when a loud bang sounded from behind one of the stable blocks. Sora panicked and shied away from him and Naruto was barely able to keep his grip on the reins. Genma and Raidou were on their feet in seconds, with Shikamaru and Tenten scrambling to follow.

Moments later Kiba could be heard yelling.

"KAKASHI!!!" he roared. "THE WATER MAINS HAVE BURST!!"

"Great. Just what we need," Kakashi groaned, running his hands through his hair. He looked over to where Naruto was attempting to soothe Sora.

"Go and tie her up, then come and help us get this sorted."

Naruto nodded, watching the group hurrying away before he patted Sora's shoulder again.

"C'mon girl. Let's get you sorted out then, shall we?"

Within ten minutes, Sora was unsaddled, wiped down and back in her stable drinking deeply from her water and Naruto was jogging around the second stable block and straight into the middle of the fray.

Genma, Raidou and Kiba were trying unsuccessfully to quell the flood of water gushing from the exploded pipeline, while Tenten and Sakura were trying to calm two spooked and soaking wet horses behind them. Shikamaru and Kakashi were no where to be seen, and Naruto presumed that they had gone to turn the water off all together.

Genma was cursing enough to make a hardened sailor blush, and Naruto smothered his laughter. All three of them were soaked to the skin. Kiba glanced over his shoulder at him and grinned.

"Get that smirk off your face and get your ass over here."

Naruto stripped off his jacket and went to help. Within seconds he was soaked as well, and laughing with Raidou and Kiba as an unexpected spurt of water hit Genma in the face. The flood of water had turned the dirt all around them into sludgy mud, and they were soon coated in it.

All of a sudden, the rush of water stopped and they all stared stupidly at it for a moment before laughter from the girls behind them broke them out of their shock.

"What are you laughing at?" Kiba grumbled, climbing carefully to his feet. "I didn't see you guys helping out."

"Are you serious?" Sakura scoffed. "Number one, I'm wearing a white shirt. Number two, what's the point? There was no way it was going to stop until they turned the water off. So now you're all muddy and wet and for no reason."

Genma was scowling ferociously at her, but he wasn't really mad. Naruto accepted Kiba's offered hand of help and climbed to his feet, trying his best not to slip on the mud. But despite his excellent sense of balance, he felt his feet slip from underneath him and knew he was doomed. Unfortunately, he grabbed onto Kiba for help and only succeeded in dragging him down too. He sprawled on his back in the mud, with Kiba landing very ungracefully on top of him and knocking the air from his lungs.

He was vaguely aware of the others laughing their heads off, but he was more focused on Kiba's heavy weight crushing his ribs. Before he knew it, something was bubbling up from inside him, from the depths of his stomach and the next thing he knew it was flying from his mouth before he could stop it.

Naruto was laughing. Honest to god, genuine laughter was bursting from him in uncontrollable waves. It was the first time he had laughed like that in years, and he felt fantastic, better than he had in what seemed like forever.

Kiba pushed himself up and jeered down at him.

"Nice work Naruto. Now we're covered in fucking mud and there's no way Kakashi's going to let us shower."

"No, we'll just hose you guys down," Raidou was laughing helplessly, his hands braced in his knees.

"That's the last time I help you out," Kiba grumbled good naturedly as he climbed to his feet once more and moved to the safety of a nearby patch of grass.

Naruto finally managed to quell his laughter, but could feel it threatening once more. As it was, he sat there grinning. He hadn't felt so light nor so free for a long time; longer than he could remember, and it felt good. It felt like he could finally be himself, kind of like a moth emerging from its cocoon. He was shedding the darkness of his past, breaking from the confines of his depression and becoming the person he had wanted to be for a long time. And that was a person who was happy with himself and the world, and his place in it.

Sakura burst out laughing once more.

"You should see your back," she giggled as Kiba turned around.

Amid more grumbling and cursing, Kiba strained to get a look before giving up and stripping his shirt off entirely.

Naruto looked up as Raidou and Genma appeared at his side and each grabbed one of his forearms before hauling him to his feet.

"I think that hosing down idea was a good one," Raidou commented, as he attempted to flick some of the goopy mud Naruto was cased in off his arm.

"Well, it would be if we had water," Genma amended.

Naruto raised his hand to brush his wet hair off his forehead, but stopped when he saw the dark mud smeared all over it. A thought struck him and he grinned up at Genma, who glanced down at him looking puzzled.

A moment later he jumped backwards with an outraged cry as Naruto swiped his muddy hand down the side of his face. Naruto laughed and danced backwards out of the way as Genma attempted to grab him.

Things degenerated from there, until they were engaged in an all out mud flinging war. The girls shrieked at Kiba and Raidou targeted them, and Naruto was laughing and pleading with Genma, who was trying to get his revenge on him.

It was a short war that could have gone on for a lot longer if Kakashi and Shikamaru hadn't reappeared.

"I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I?" Kakashi sighed as he joined them.

Shikamaru had stopped next to Tenten, and after considering her for a long moment, he reached out and flicked a lump of mud off her cheek.

"Let's get this pipeline fixed then, so we can get the water back on and hose you guys off."

It was a relatively simple task to repair the broken pipe, so it wasn't long before the water was running once more. After that, followed an all out water skirmish, which left them exhausted, but considerably cleaner.

- - - - - - - - - -

Naruto was one of the last people in the stables as the last light of the day started to fade. It was a Friday night, which meant the others would be going out. Some of them went to visit friends or family, others went to the bars or pubs nearby, while the girls usually met up with their friends at some nightclub or another further away in the city.

They had long since learned to stop asking Naruto if he wanted to join them. Naruto wasn't one for socializing much. He was shy and tongue-tied the majority of the time, and he could never seem to find the words to start up conversations with complete strangers.

If he was honest with himself, then he'd admit that he actually needed the alone time he got on Friday nights. He was a private person; spending most of his time in the company of others sometimes became an ordeal for him with all the secrets he had to keep, and the truths he had to hide. He needed time to recover himself and regain the inner balance that he needed to get through each day.

The others had all called their good byes out a short time ago as they'd all gone their separate ways. Naruto had had a long hot shower once they'd left, letting his tired muscles relax after a long day of hard work.

But he found that after a day of so much excitement and with so many things going on, he was unable to sit down and relax. So he had made his way to the stables and picked up a broom. It might make him seem like a simple person, but sweeping was therapeutic to him. The repetitive action was soothing, and let him just get lost in the motions, not having to think too much or too deeply as he focused on his body's movements. Oddly enough, it was during these times when he was able to come to some of his best conclusions.

A sharp nudge to his shoulder startled him, and he turned around in surprise only to come face to face with a curious Taira.

The dark horse was looking down his nose at him, and Naruto laughed as he set aside his broom and reached up to rub his ears.

"I'm sorry boy. Was I ignoring you?"

Taira lowered his head and rubbed his head against his shoulder.

"Oh I see. So you just wanted someone to use as a scratching post." he teased as he continued to rub his hands over the huge horses face. "Well, you're just as confident as your master, aren't you? No surprise there."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted."

Naruto whirled around, making Taira jerk his head up. Sasuke was standing behind him, his hands shoved in his pockets and a smile playing around his lips. Naruto was blushing hotly and he shuffled his feet in embarrassment.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," he mumbled.

He knew enough by then to know that Sasuke wasn't mad.

"I gathered."

Sasuke was smiling openly at him as he stepped closer. He was looking particularly fine, even in a pair of stylish black track pants that probably cost more than a fortnight of Naruto's pay, a plain white t-shirt and a dark gray v-neck sweater. His dark hair was pulled back from his face, revealing a facial structure that would make a sculptor start sweating in anticipation. Naruto was struck once more by just how breath-taking Sasuke was. It was enough to make him go weak at the knees.

"Hi." Sasuke's smile softened as he moved closer.

"Hi," Naruto whispered back as Sasuke lowered his head and brushed his lips across Naruto's for a lingering, chaste kiss. Naruto felt that familiar heat engulf him, and had to remember how to breathe.

Sasuke ended the kiss after a few moments, and brushed his knuckled gently over Naruto's cheek before looking over his head towards Taira.

"I hope you're not trying to corrupt my own horse against me."

"He doesn't need any help in that department," Naruto replied, turning slightly as he followed the direction of Sasuke's gaze. Taira had lost interest in them and was busy socializing with the small bay gelding in the stable next to his.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke and smiled up at him.

"It's good to see you again so soon."

Sasuke raised a hand and ran his fingers through Naruto's hair, and he shivered, remembering the way that same hand had tormented him so the previous night.

"Right back at you." he murmured. "Actually, I came here for a reason."

Naruto frowned as Sasuke sobered, his eyes turning serious.

"Is everything alright?"

"I need your help with something," Sasuke replied, and Naruto couldn't help the instinctive bite of anxiety that followed.

"Wait here," Sasuke told him as he turned and disappeared around a nearby corner, heading for the entrance to the stables.

Naruto shifted, agitated for a moment and wondering what Sasuke could possibly need his help with. After a moments internal debate, he followed after Sasuke.

A dark blue sports car was blocking the entrance to the stables, and Sasuke had one of the back doors open and was leaning in.

He straightened up carefully, and Naruto saw that he was holding a box in his hands when he turned around.

"Thought I told you to wait back there."

Naruto shrugged slightly uncomfortably, his eyes focused on the tattered brown box in Sasuke's hands, curiosity and confusion making him forget about his usual skittishness whenever Sasuke was present.

"Come over here and sit down." Sasuke told him, nodding towards two empty crates that were sitting nearby.

Naruto did as he was told, watching as Sasuke sat down on the other one before he gently set the box down at there feet.

"What's..." he began, but Sasuke was opening the box and lifting out something wrapped in a leather jacket. He settled it in his lap and pulled back the layers on fabric to reveal a small shape, shuddering minutely and not moving much at all.

"I found him on the side of the road when I was driving back home this evening," Sasuke said quietly, watching as Naruto reached out a hand and lay it on the shivering puppy's back.

He wasn't very big, and couldn't have been more than a month or two old, and Naruto's heart ached for the terrified puppy. But even worse was the rough bandage that was wrapped awkwardly over the puppy's shoulder. Naruto fingered the edge of it gently, noting the blood soaking through.

"It was the best I could do at the time. I didn't know what to do with him, and I thought that you might."

Naruto nodded absentmindedly and very carefully slid his hands under the puppy so he could lift it into his own lap. This elicited a tiny whimper from him, but the puppy didn't even struggle or try to fight him and he frowned.

"It's good you wrapped him in the jacket," he murmured. "He was probably cold. It's this wound I'm worried about though."

"Should we take him to a vet?"

Naruto shook his head. "Let me look at it first. There's a first aid kit in the tack room. Would you mind...?"

Sasuke was on his feet before he even finished the sentence, and he disappeared. Naruto lifted the puppy up to his face, looking into his half closed eyes. He was worried about how unresponsive the puppy was, although that could be due to the fact that he was cold and frightened. Who knew how long he'd been out there in the cold without his mother. If the cardboard box was anything to go by, then Naruto guessed the puppy had been abandoned. He told himself not to get too attached to the tiny creature, because he'd probably have to give it to the pound.

He cradled the puppy to his chest, stroking its small head.

"You don't need to be frightened anymore," he whispered. "I'll look after you."

Sasuke returned then, and Naruto lay the pup back on his lap and accepted the kit from him. He unwrapped the crude dressing Sasuke had applied, and inspected the jagged, raw looking cut on the puppy's front leg. It wound its way around to the shoulder, and Naruto winced in sympathy. It looked quite nasty, but didn't seem to need stitches.

"It doesn't look too serious," he said. "I'll clean it, and put a proper bandage on it."

Sasuke just nodded and watched as he undid the kit and set about his unpleasant task. First he had to pick out all the tiny bits of gravel and dirt that was stuck in there, stopping every few minutes to pet the whimpering pup and whisper words of comfort to him.

Once that was done, he swabbed the area with antiseptic and applied a wad of gauze to it, which Sasuke held in place as he wrapped a small bandage around it.

He straightened up, and began to pack away the things he had used. Sasuke was scratching the pup's ears and Naruto had to smile at the compassion Sasuke was displaying. It struck him then that this was the side of him that the others hadn't thought existed. They all thought he was a cold, unemotional Uchiha like the rest of his family. But the person Naruto was sitting with was just as human as anyone he knew.

The puppy was lying in the valley his closed legs formed, and Naruto carefully placed him back in the warm leather jacket before setting him back down on his lap once more.

"Will he be okay?" Sasuke asked.

"He should be. I'll keep him with me tonight, put a hot water bottle in with him, and check his dressing in the morning. Then I guess we'll take him to the pound tomorrow," he replied, looking wistfully down at the small dog. He'd always loved dogs when he was little, and he'd always begged his father for one as a birthday present when he was younger. But his father had always shook his head and replied that it was no lifestyle for a dog, with the way they were always moving from place to place.

But Naruto had seen the way he'd played with all the dogs at all the stables they'd lodged at over the years. His father had loved dogs, and Naruto had always shared his fondness for them.

"You don't have to, you know," Sasuke told him, watching him quietly. "You could always keep him."

Naruto looked up at him in surprise.

"No, I don't think..."

"Why not?" Sasuke asked. "When was the last time you did something you wanted to, just for yourself? If you want to keep him, then it won't be a problem."

Naruto chewed his lip as he looked down at the pup sleeping in his lap and stroked its silky soft ears softly. He really wanted to...There was no way he could resist taking care of such a needy animal. The truth was, he had fallen in love with the puppy the moment Sasuke had lifted him out of the box. He looked like a black retriever, and although young, he had huge paws, a tell tale sign that he would become a pretty big dog when he was older.

"I'll have to ask the others first." he conceded, although in his heart he knew that there was no way he could give him up now. He was an orphan, just like him, with no home and no one to love him. And he was so very frightened and small, and Naruto would only worry about the little guy if he let him go tomorrow. After all, he knew what it was like to be scared and hurt, and there was no way he could stand to watch another living being suffer the same misery that he had.

Sasuke smiled at him, seeing that he had won Naruto over, and he smiled back.

He kept his hand on the puppies back, and watched his sides rise and fall as he breathed.

"I'll take care of him," Naruto said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I figured that you'd know what to do. Besides, now you'll always have someone with you."

Naruto smiled. And whenever he looked at the puppy, he'd remember how Sasuke had saved him from an uncertain fate at the side of a road. Just like Sasuke had saved him.

"Where is everyone anyway?"

"They're all out. It's Friday night, after all," Naruto told him. "What about Ino-sama and Neji-sama?"

"Sleeping off last nights hangovers," Sasuke replied. "No big surprise there. But how was your day?"

"It was a good day today," Naruto said, his eyes on the puppy. "A good day."

Cool fingers lifted his chin and he looked into Sasuke's dark eyes, drowning once more in the storm of emotions he found there, unable to identify most of them, but seeing warmth there nevertheless.

"I'm glad," Sasuke murmured as he leaned forward and kissed Naruto.

He sighed as he lost himself in the sweetness of Sasuke's kiss. He'd been longing to taste him all day, striving to remember exactly how it felt to have those wonderful lips against his own. Naruto raised a hand and brushed it over Sasuke's cheek.

He was bursting with emotions, so strong and entirely indefinable, and he wasn't sure what to do with them. Should he hold them in, and lose himself in their wonderful depths, or should he let them overflow, and show what was in his heart to Sasuke?

The kiss ended slowly, and Naruto pulled back slightly to study Sasuke's face, smiling at him. Sasuke leaned his forehead against Naruto's, entwining their fingers and raising his hand to his lips.

He shivered at the feel of those soft lips on the back of his hand.

"I have to go," Sasuke whispered.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

Sasuke nodded as he straightened.

"We'll be down tomorrow morning for a practice session."

"We?"

"Ino and Neji are coming too." Sasuke grinned at him. "But I'll see you later on as well. If you don't see me by eight then come up to my rooms."

Naruto nodded as Sasuke stood up, looking up at him. Nimble fingers brushed through his hair momentarily and a warm kiss was pressed to his forehead, before another was pressed to his lips.

"Take care of that puppy," Sasuke whispered against his lips. "I'll see you tomorrow."

TBC

* * *

A/N: The stables where I used to work years and years ago had a water mains that burst on a regular basis, which resulted in a flood of water, lots and lots of icky mud and a very dirty Kate. It was interesting, to say the least...

Hope y'all liked this chapter. It was a bit fluffy wasn't it? And I'm now taking suggestions for the naming of that puppy. Ideas, anyone?


	25. Past Revisited

**Disclaimer: **_The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I make no profit from this work._

**Warnings: **_Slightly Explicit yaoi (slash), swearing, angst, and subjects which could offend._

**Author's Notes: **_Does anyone know of any music that is good to write to? I'm an avid music listener and have a large library of music of all kinds, but need something new. Suggestions?_

* * *

Chapter 23: _A Past Revisited_

Naruto was sitting in the kitchen at two in the morning, feeding the puppy milk via a dropper. He had been woken half an hour earlier by its whimpering cries.

Before going to bed he had created a temporary home for the pup, stuffing an old box with a fuzzy blanket, a hot water bottle and a small, ticking clock. The clock was the only measure of comfort he could provide for the lonely pup, the ticking supposed to represent the beating of his mother's heart.

It hadn't been much of a chore getting out of his warm bed and cradling the puppy to his chest, stroking and whispering until he had quieted beneath his hands. Once this was achieved, Naruto had slipped down the dark hallway silently, and closed the living room door behind him careful not to wake his housemates as they slept off their hangovers.

With the puppy cradled in one arm, he had quickly warmed up some milk in a saucepan before using a small dropper to feed the hungry mouth all it could take. The tenderness he'd felt as that small belly had filled against his hand warmed him.

He was sitting in a chair and was stroking the sleepy puppy who had finished eating. Cow's milk would have to do until he took the pup to the vet tomorrow and found out what he should eat. Despite all his knowledge with horses, he knew next to nothing about puppies, and how to care for them.

"You need a name," he told the puppy quietly. "I can't keep calling you puppy now can I? What d'you think?"

He ran his fingers over the soft folds of the puppy's ears, smiling as the puppy burrowed against the warmth of his chest.

"What would be a good name for you? I never was much good at thinking up names."

"Naruto?"

He looked up as a sleepy Tenten stumbled into the light. She rubbed at her eyes and squinted at him. She was dressed in a pair of bright, baggy pajama pants, a white tank top and a threadbare robe. Her feet were encased in fuzzy slippers and her hair was scraped into two messy pig tails.

Naruto smiled at the endearing picture she presented, looking for all the world like a little kid seeking out her parents in the middle of the night.

"Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet," he told her ruefully.

"I was already awake," she replied as she sat on the chair next to him. "Is that a puppy? Where'd you find him?"

"He was abandoned on the roadside." Naruto replied, reluctant to tell her that it was Sasuke who had found him.

Tenten reached out a hand and stroked the puppy's head, her eyes soft as she smiled at him.

"You've got a soft heart, Naruto. I shouldn't be surprised that you'd take him in."

Naruto blushed at the praise and looked at her.

"Why are you awake at this hour?" he asked her, studying her closely and noting with interest the blush his question raised.

"...I was thinking."

"About?"

She squirmed in her seat, her face heating further as she concentrated her attention on stroking the puppy.

"Tenten."

"I was thinking about Shikamaru," she admitted finally. "I uh...we..."

"Something happened?"

The puppy's eyes were closing as they petted him, content, full and warm at last. Naruto breathed a silent sigh of relief; the puppy needed the rest so he could heal properly and forget what it was like to be abandoned.

"We...kissed tonight." She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling and a smile playing about her mouth. "And he...I know he seems like he's lazy and doesn't care about anything but himself, but he's...He's an amazing kisser, so caring and attentive and...And I'm rambling. Sorry."

Naruto smiled at her, pleased beyond relief that they had finally gotten over the friendship barrier. For almost a year they had been dancing around each other, neither making the move that needed to be made. Naruto could honestly say that he was glad. He couldn't imagine one without the other, and had known all along that if they could move past their own doubts and insecurities, that they would make a great couple. They were perfect for one another, and he couldn't remember ever seeing Tenten so happy.

"That's okay. I'm happy for you guys," he said. "Do you think you guys are dating now, or what?"

"Yeah. We're going steady. I'm having trouble believing it." She beamed at him, and he grinned. "I'm so happy I can't sleep."

"You're in love with him?"

She nodded, setting her chin in her hand dreamily.

"Yeah, I am. It's funny, all girls grow up dreaming about the man they'll fall in love with and marry. The whole knight in shining armor thing, you know? But no one ever tells you exactly how amazing it is. It's so different from how I always imagined it would feel, but it's still the same. It's weird."

Naruto just nodded, loving the way it felt to be sitting up in the kitchen in the middle of the night just talking. He'd never been able to do anything like it during his childhood, or even his teenage years, and it struck him how special it was. Somehow he had been able to overcome his own past, and had a home, friends and someone he loved, and he was sitting in the kitchen talking to one of his closest friends. At the very least, he had friends who loved him, and that was enough. Everything around him was starting to fall into place, and for the first time in a long time, he felt secure.

Tenten nudged him gently.

"What about you? How's things with you know who?"

It was Naruto's turn to blush brightly.

"They're good," he murmured. "Better than good, I think. I really..."

"You really what?" she prompted gently.

"I really love him." he finished quietly, his throat constricting as he thought about just how much love he had in his heart for the man. "I couldn't ever imagine what I'd do without him. I know you guys think he's unemotional and self-absorbed, but you should see him when we're alone. He's intelligent, and funny and...I just can't believe that he's mine, you know? He's way too amazing for me."

Tenten had been watching him as he talked and when he finished she rested her head against his shoulder, her eyes on the puppy.

"No one's too amazing for you, Naruto." she murmured.

A nagging voice weaseled its way through his happiness.

_But he's not yours, is he? And he won't ever be. He belongs to a different world, and you...you're just a stable boy. An average person..._

But the voice of doubt had faded somewhat as his confidence grew, and it wasn't too hard to push that particular unpleasant realization away.

"Naruto, I'm happy for you. I am. I never imagined that it would be someone like him that you would fall for."

She didn't seem to require a response to this, so he sighed quietly, his hand that was resting on the puppy's back rising and falling slowly as he breathed.

"Still, I don't think I've ever seen you so happy. It's good to see you smile."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That morning after he'd completed his morning chores, Naruto snuck the puppy into one of the trucks and headed for town. Despite his reluctance to do so, it was only right that he make sure the puppy didn't have owners that were looking for him.

The vet was a regular at their stables, and was good friends with them all. She ran the only clinic in town, and was known for her skill with animals. It was still early, so they weren't open yet, but the receptionist, Shizune let him in immediately.

"Hi, Naruto. Long time no see," she greeted him. "What brings you to this neck of the woods so early?"

"Hey Shizune," he smiled at her, slipping in the door. "I've brought you a patient. Is Tsunade in?"

"Yeah. I'll take you through."

Naruto slipped into one of the examination rooms and set the small puppy down on one of the tables. The black bundle of fur hadn't left his side much at all since he'd been given to Naruto's care, so he whimpered as he was set on the cool metal. He kept a hand on his back, smiling as the puppy sniffed at the surface beneath him and tentatively took a few steps. He was favoring his sore leg but that wasn't much of a surprise.

At least he was more alert and lively looking. That was a start.

The door opened and Tsunade stepped in, her blond pig tails mussed and her coat creased and wrinkled.

"Hey Naruto. How's life treating you? Still working for that idiot Kakashi?"

Naruto smiled, feeling a little overwhelmed as he always did in the boisterous woman's presence.

"Yeah," he replied. "Things are good."

"And who's this you have with you?"

"He doesn't have a name yet. We found him on the side of the road." Naruto replied, running a hand down his back. "I treated his wound as best I could but I figured you should look him over."

Tsunade nodded as she ran critical eyes over the pup.

"Well, better get started then, hadn't we? I've got several surgeries this morning, but this won't take more than a few minutes."

Surely enough, a few minutes later Tsunade straightened up and pulled off her latex gloves.

"He seems pretty healthy. No worms, or ticks, and you dressed that wound just fine. I'll give him some basic shots to make sure he stays that way," she told him as she turned away.

The puppy had grown a little bolder over the last few minutes, and was investigating the entire surface of the table with his nose down. Naruto had to keep picking him up and bringing him back in front of him. Seconds later, the pup would he off again, undeterred, but he didn't mind in the slightest. At least he wasn't scared any more, and that was something that gladdened his heart considerably.

"He hasn't got a microchip either," Tsunade said, then paused. "Are you planning to keep him?"

"Well," Naruto licked his lips, hesitantly. "I haven't checked with the others yet, but...yeah. I'd like to."

"Alright then. We'll give him this, then I'll microchip him for you." Tsunade turned around with a loaded syringe in her hand. "Hold him still will you?"

Naruto held the wriggling puppy still in front of him, wincing as he yelped when Tsunade injected him. She rubbed the spot vigorously for a moment.

"There you go. That wasn't too bad was it you brave boy," she said to the puppy.

Naruto released him, and the puppy was nudging his stomach a few minutes later. He smiled and stroked his head as the pup started to chew on his ratty old t-shirt.

"Don't you think I should check with the others first?" he asked doubtfully.

"Screw that. If you want to keep him, then do it. If Kakashi has a problem with it, then send him to me. I'll set him straight."

Tsunade was grinning, and Naruto smothered his laughter. No one knew exactly how Tsunade and Kakashi had first met, but it was always amusing to witness the friendly rivalry and banter that existed between the two.

Ten minutes later, the puppy was micro chipped in Naruto's name, and they were back in the truck and heading home. The puppy was sitting on the passenger seat, trying his hardest to tear a hardy old blanket to pieces. Naruto smiled as he focused on the road once more. Black storm clouds were building up, and he hadn't missed the cold wind that was whipping up. They were in for a hell of a storm if those clouds were anything to go by. He only hoped that the weather would hold until later that evening; he had horses to exercise and outdoor work that needed to be done.

Still, Naruto couldn't seem to wipe the smile off his face as he leant an arm out the window, feeling the cold breeze on his skin. He felt like the happiness that had been dominating his soul would burst free at any moment.

Beside him, the puppy left the blanket and ventured closer to him, nosing his jean-clad thigh and asking for attention. Naruto grinned and dropped a hand onto the small head.

"Still gotta name you, don't I?" he asked aloud, not taking his eyes off the road as he turning onto the Uchiha drive.

He looked down at the puppy, who was resting his head on his leg and looking up at him with liquid eyes. For a long moment, Naruto just looked at the puppy, stroking the inky black fur before returning his eyes to the road.

"I think I'll call you Chance."

The puppy whined a little and tried to climb into his lap, licking at the softened fabric of his jeans.

"Yeah. Chance is a good name."

Naruto gently herded the puppy back over to the passenger side with one hand, and the puppy started to play with his blanket once more, rolling over onto his back and snuffling.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The others were instantly enchanted with Chance, and Chance was basking in the attention. Sakura and Tenten were cooing at the rolling puppy, rubbing his belly and talking nonsense to him.

He felt at ease leaving the puppy in their care as he rode out on Sora. She had completed her warm up and exercises well, and was quickly learning the dressage test he was teaching her for the competition. He figured it would be best to teach her the dressage test, and get that out of the way before he started teaching her to jump. He'd tried to trotting poles once more, and had made her walk over them.

She had fussed and grumbled about for a bit before grudgingly completing the task with little difficulty. He had cut the ride short because dark storm clouds hung low in the sky, and the wind was freezing, howling through the stables and buildings unpleasantly. Kakashi had called for him to help bring the horses in from the fields so he hurried to get Sora unsaddled and back in her stall.

He was walking towards the tack room when Chance barreled from the doorway, bouncing towards him on his unsteady puppy paws. Genma and Raidou were close behind carrying a dozen halters and lead ropes. Naruto crouched down and scooped a wriggling Chance up into his arms, who was desperately trying to cover his face in puppy kisses.

While he was glad that Chance was better and more lively, he hadn't quite bet on just how exuberant the puppy would be. He smiled fondly down at the pup and tucked him into his jacket, zipping it up a little so that the warm body was cradled against his stomach with only his head visible as it poked out and looked around.

Genma and Raidou laughed as they handed him several halters.

"C'mon, we've got horses to catch." Raidou clapped him on the shoulder and they started off down the road towards the fields.

"Are you sure you wanna bring him?" Genma gestured towards the puppy huddled in his jacket, Chance was squirming against him occasionally, but seemed to have settled down a little. Naruto knew that within a few minutes, the puppy would be asleep. The warmth of his little body against Naruto's stomach was more of a comfort than he would've thought. It was like he had his own personal water bottle.

"He'll be fine," Naruto replied. "It's not like he can get into any trouble where he is at the moment."

"Unless he decides to chew through your jacket. The little monster has a thing for biting," Raidou grumbled.

Genma laughed. "You're just upset because he chewed up one of your sneakers earlier."

"It was my favorite pair too."

"Those ratty old things? I'm glad he did. I've been trying to get rid of them for years."

"Whatever he destroyed I'd be happy to replace," Naruto told Raidou quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize..."

"Ah it's okay. They were old anyway." Raidou waved a nonchalant hand. "Besides, it's hard to stay upset with him. He's too darn cute, the little mutt."

"Ah, before I forget..." Genma rummaged around in his pockets and produced a white envelope, slightly crumpled and handed it over to him. "Kakashi told me to give this to you. It came in the mail today."

Naruto looked it over, puzzled. He never got mail from anyone, seeing as he had no family or friends outside of the ones he had found at the Uchiha Stables. His name and address were handwritten, and in a script that he didn't recognize. Frowning, he shoved it in his pocket to read later. A sudden gust of wind took him by surprise, and he looked up at the daunting clouds above.

"We'd better get a move on," Raidou noted. "I think Iruka sent dinner down in case it rained.

"Good. I don't fancy having to walk back in the rain," Genma replied.

They split off then, and Naruto opened the gate, whistling shrilly to the two fillies he was in charge of.

- - - - - - -

The weather held until well after dinner time that evening. The stable hands had already headed back down, and Naruto had made the excuse of visiting with Iruka when the rain started pouring down. He excused himself from Iruka's place, claiming that he would make a run for it down to the stables before it got any worse. Tenten and Sakura were keeping an eye on Chance for him, so he wasn't worried about the puppy in the slightest. No doubt he would be getting doted on to his hearts content.

He felt rotten for lying to the people who trusted him and thought him honest. It felt as if he was betraying them in a way, even though it wouldn't hurt them.

As he made his way upstairs towards Sasuke's rooms, he vowed to himself that he would make it up to them somehow, whether that be by working harder or doing something nice for each of them.

He made sure he wasn't noticed by keeping to the servants staircases. Briefly he wondered where Itachi and Lady Uchiha were hiding themselves, as no one had seen much of the recently, but dismissed the thought as he approached Sasuke's quarters.

Naruto pushed back a surge of uncertainty as he knocked tentatively on the door. It still felt sometimes as if he was imposing on Sasuke and clinging like a love starved child.

Within moments, the door was pulled open to reveal a half dressed Sasuke. His hair hung down freely, the inky black strands framing his face and hanging down around his shoulder in a dark cascade. A tight singlet top covered the his chest, and a pair of loose, light gray cotton pants hung low on his lean hips, revealing a strip of pale skin that had Naruto blushing and swallowing back a surge of desire.

"Uh...hi. I thought...since I hadn't seen you earlier that I would come, but if I'm interrupting you I can leave..." he managed awkwardly.

"Don't be stupid. I told you to come, didn't I?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him and pulled him inside before shutting the door behind him.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but Sasuke silenced him with a heated kiss, pulling him against his chest and wrapping his arms around him. He could do nothing but submit, sliding his arms around the broad shoulders and letting Sasuke deepen the kiss automatically.

Sasuke's scent and the way he tasted was enough to make his heart race in his chest. He had been longing to see him all day, wanting to touch him and kiss him.

Hours could have passed by the time Sasuke released him. The taller man didn't move back though, just raised a hand and brushed it through his hair with a faint smile on his mouth.

"I'm glad you came." he said, breaking the silence. "How's the puppy?"

Naruto smiled shyly.

"He's fine. I took him to the vet and she gave him the all clear."

"And what have you decided to call him?" Sasuke asked as he released him and led him into his living rooms. Naruto followed, missing his heat already, and touching his moistened lips reverently for a moment.

"Chance. I called him Chance," he replied distractedly.

"That's a good name." he could hear the smile in Sasuke's voice, even if he was facing away, and Naruto applauded himself on his odd ability to read a man who was supposedly an enigma so well.

"I thought so too."

Sasuke's room looked exactly the same as it had the last time he had visited, if a little messier. Books were everywhere, as were a few piles of dirty clothes, and sheets of music. Small lamps were lit around the room, giving it a golden glow that made it seem comfortable and relaxing.

"Sorry about the mess. I haven't let anyone in here for a couple of days. I don't like my art to be disturbed when I'm working." Sasuke said over his shoulder as he slid onto the piano bench and picked up a pencil.

He turned his attention to various easels standing in one corner of the room. What he saw fairly took his breath away.

It was a watercolor portrait of a horse, the colors so vivid and the detail so sharp and realistic that if he hadn't known better he would have said it was the real thing. A dark horse, possibly Taira was throwing up his heals as he raced across an endless field of green, underneath a sky so blue and big that it seemed to go on forever.

It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, and the detail so fine that it was hard to believe it had been hand painted. Another easel supported a charcoal portrait of a horse's head, its eyes displaying everything he loved about horses; warmth, compassion and gentleness. The next was a more abstract portrait of a horse and rider. Naruto was entranced and a smile was playing on his mouth.

"You like them?" Sasuke asked from directly behind him, before a pair of arms slid around his stomach.

Naruto entwined his fingers with Sasuke's as he leant back against the solid wall of his chest.

"I love them. You're a wonderful artist, Sasuke," Naruto murmured, distracted yet again by the heat of his body and the chin resting on his shoulder.

Soft hair tickled his neck, and Naruto closed his eyes, savoring their closeness as a soft kiss was brushed over the skin of his neck.

"I'm not sure where I'm going with them yet, but you're welcome to keep them if you like them," Sasuke whispered into his ear.

Naruto shook his head though. "I couldn't do that."

"Consider it a gift."

Sasuke's hands were stroking over his stomach and hips, and his heart was fluttering in his chest, his breathing deepening as lust curled down into his belly like smoke.

One of Sasuke's hands brushed over his hip, resulting in the sound of crinkling paper. Frowning, Naruto opened his eyes and looked down, reaching a hand into his pocket and pulling out the crumpled letter Genma had given him earlier.

"What's that?" Sasuke asked lazily with his chin still resting on Naruto's shoulder.

"I don't know. It came in the mail today," he replied turning it over and tearing the envelope open. He unfolded a letter several pages thick and fumbled for a metal object that fell out of the folded pages. It was a key, which looked to be unused and plain.

Naruto stared at it for a moment, puzzled before turning his attention to the letter.

_Dear Naruto,_

_I write this letter not knowing if you remember me at all, and in the hopes that you'll be able to read this letter all the way through. My name is Kenji and I was a very close friend of your father's. _

Naruto felt his hands start to shake as he stopped reading and stared at the letter in shock. He felt Sasuke pull away a little and straighten up.

"Perhaps you better sit down while you read this," he suggested quietly.

Naruto let himself be led over to the couch and as soon as he had been pulled down against the warmth of Sasuke he started to read once more, suddenly desperate to know what horrible truths the letter held.

_You first met me when you were nothing more than a little tot at your father's side_. Not _long after, I left for the other side of the country with my wife. We always kept in contact though, through letters and telephone calls. _

_Your father was always extremely proud of you, Naruto, and I was so very sorry to hear that you lost such a brilliant father in such a tragic way. But before I get to the point of the letter, I feel I should explain a few things to you._

_As I said before, I was a friend of your father's back when we were kids. We grew up together really, and I was the best man at his wedding when he married your mother, and what a fine lady she was. I had never seen anyone as deeply in love as your parents were. And it hardly seemed possible that he loved anyone else even more. But he did, and that person was you. _

_When your mother passed away, you and your father stayed with me for awhile before he got back on his feet. We worked together on a few jobs and I watched you grow up into the bright and sunny little boy that your father loved so much._

_Before your father passed away, he sent me a copy of the key to his storage room. I've kept paying the rent for the storage, but had lost track of you once you were placed in the system. With no living relatives, I suppose the government had no choice but to put you up for adoption. If I could have taken you in, I most certainly would have. But it wasn't right for my family at the time, as much as I regret it._

_I tried several times to find you and make sure you were okay, but all my attempts were unsuccessful. I hope you can forgive me for my failure to find you. I finally heard word from a mutual friend of your father's and mine of where you might be and made some phone calls to a couple of my contacts in your area. I am very relieved to hear that you are alive and well, and working in the same field that your father and I love very much. _

_The point of this letter is to return this key to you, for I doubt you would have been given the original. I've enclosed the address of the storage site (it's not too far from where you live now) and the relevant documentation. I hope that whatever you find there will bring you some measure of comfort, and help you learn more about what kind of man your father was._

_If it's at all possible, I would like to keep in contact with you just to know that you are keeping well and that you are happy with what you're doing and the people you associate with._

_Yours truly_

_Kenji_

Naruto was trembling by the time he finished the letter and shocked to his very core. If he had known that someone had been looking for him during the dark years following his father's death...well, he wasn't sure what he would have done. Probably would have run to them and begged them to take him in, and rescue him from the people who were hurting him.

He could remember what it had been like in that orphanage. The chances of a family wanting to adopt a child in his early teens were very slim. Couples wanted kids young, so they could raise them as their own. And knowing that, the children forced to live in group homes were stripped of the hope that one day someone would love them, and such knowledge twisted people in ways the Naruto hadn't ever thought possible. It made the kids harder, more adaptable and resilient and defiant towards authorities and adults. Unless some of them were like him, in which case they just crashed and burned. Some were rescued from time to time, others weren't.

He had been trapped in that place for several long years, and it had become his own private hell.

The metal of the key in his hand had warmed, and he turned it over and over as he tried to wrap his mind around what he had just learned.

"Naruto?" Sasuke was asking softly. Two hands carefully took the letter and the key from him and placed them on the coffee table before them. Sasuke turned his chin so they were looking at each other.

"Are you okay?"

Twin streaks of wetness lined his cheeks as he blinked, and swallowed, trying to find the words to describe feelings he couldn't quite grasp.

"I..." he started whispered before swallowing once more. "I don't know..."

He was pulled roughly into Sasuke's chest, where he lay shivering and shaking like a leaf. Sasuke's face was pushed into his hair, and he focused on how warm he was, and the gentle fanning of his hot breath in his hair.

"That's quite a shock to deal with in one sitting, hmmm?" Sasuke asked quietly.

He nodded and brought a hand up to wipe away his silent tears. He wasn't really crying. He figured that he had cried more than enough tears for his father a long time ago. His grief for the only family he had known ran much deeper than tears.

It was just the suddenness that had gotten to him. But he felt stronger with Sasuke at his side, and not nearly as much of an emotional wreck as he would have been if Sasuke hadn't been there with him.

"So what are you going to do about this?" Sasuke asked calmly, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"I...I guess I'll have to go and...sort out all of his stuff." he replied slowly as he released a shuddering breath and tried to reassemble his thoughts. "I can't just leave it there forever."

"If you need me to come with you, I will."

Naruto sat back a little and rubbed his hands over his face before attempting to smile at him.

"I'd really appreciate it if it's okay. I mean, the others don't know...and I'm not sure they'd understand…."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Naruto," Sasuke told him, reached out and tracing his cheek bone gently. "If you need me to be there, I'll be there."

"Thanks, Sasuke." Naruto leant forward and pressed his lips to Sasuke's, needing something to help him soothe the shock, even if just a little.

Sasuke cupped his cheek and kissed him back, pulling him closer and sheltering him for just a little while.

* * *

A/N: This chapter just refused to be written. In between having an annoying head cold, trying to organize finances for a car I'm not sure I can afford, and trying my very best to not stomp my stupid ipod to pieces, I guess I'm a little stressed. And stress, I've found, tends to mess with my inspiration. My muse is back though, albeit under force. 

So anyway, I hope you found this chapter satisfactory at least. I'm trying to move the plot along at a good pace as well as develop the relationship between the various characters. Thanks for reading, and I hope you're still enjoying reading this monster that is consuming my soul!

Edit to the above A/N: _I just bought my first car! Celebrate with me, people! He's pretty and blue and he shall henceforth be dubbed "Tobi."_


	26. Kissing This Thing Goodbye

**Disclaimer:**_I own nothing, the characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their original owner…Not me!_

**Warnings:**_Major angst, and Yaoi. Don't like? Don't read_!

* * *

Chapter 24: _Kissing This Thing Goodbye_

Naruto was curled into Sasuke's side on the couch, and wondering what was going to happen the next day. His stomach was a knot of nerves, and he chewed his thumbnail anxiously. Sasuke was reading something with his arm wrapped around Naruto, and just his warmth and presence was enough to keep him calm. But it didn't banish his nerves, or his fear. He wasn't sure if he could deal with facing his father's death. He'd spent so long running from the truth of it that he wasn't sure if he could stand and face it without breaking down completely.

Something inside him finally wanted to though. His instincts were telling him that it was time, and he felt that maybe it was time to put him father to rest and move on with his life. The more cowardly side of him, however, still wanted to shrink away from the hurt and try to escape whatever pain this would bring.

"Stop it," Sasuke said roughly.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Stop thinking so much." Sasuke replied, reaching over with his hand and rescuing Naruto's nails from his teeth. "Worrying about it will only make it harder. Try and think about something else."

"But…."

Sasuke sighed, and tossed his papers onto the table before them. They were on the couch still, and Naruto wouldn't have moved for the world.

"I can see there's no point in trying to explain it to you," Sasuke sighed again, before grinning wickedly. "Guess I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

"What d'you…."

He didn't have time to finish, as Sasuke wrapped his other arm around Naruto and lay back so they were stretched along the length of the couch with him pressed tightly against Sasuke's side. He squirmed uncomfortably for a few minutes, shy and embarrassed at just how much pleasure he got out of the simple contact, until Sasuke's arms tightened around him minutely.

"Cut it out and relax," he murmured into Naruto's hair. "It's easier to talk like this."

With a small sigh of his own, Naruto began to relax. The quiet was a dramatic contrast to the thoughts raging in his head, and the only thing he could really hear was Sasuke's heartbeat beneath his ear and the steady drumming of the rain outside. Occasionally, a flash of lightning would light up the sky followed by a loud boom of thunder that made Naruto press a little closer to Sasuke.

He had always loved rain, but hated thunder and lightning. It made him jumpy and unable to concentrate, each flash surprising him in a way that unnerved him. But lying where he was, he found it possible to forget about his fears. Especially when Sasuke was running his hands up and down his back slowly as he got lost within his own thoughts.

Between the soothing motions of his hands and the steady, strong thudding of Sasuke's heart, Naruto found all his worries banished, and he was able to forget about the letter and key that were lying on the table.

"The rain's not going to let up tonight," Naruto said eventually. "I'll have to make a run for it later."

"Or you could stay here and get down there early tomorrow morning," Sasuke suggested. "There's more than enough room. I can sleep on the couch if you like."

The idea was appealing to him, but he couldn't help the bite of nerves in his stomach. Stay here with Sasuke? He wasn't sure if that was a good idea at all. For one thing, he wasn't sure how good his self-control was around him, and number two, well. Being with Sasuke could lead to….things he wasn't sure he was ready for. Besides, he would feel bad about kicking Sasuke from his own bed…

A hand came up and ran through his hair.

"There you go again, thinking too hard," Sasuke chided gently. "You know that we don't have to do anything you don't want, Naruto. I'm not going to force you."

"I know," Naruto replied truthfully. "I'm just not sure I'm…."

"Stop doubting yourself, Naruto. We'll just sleep."

Naruto sighed and nodded.

"Aren't you afraid what people will think if they find out you're…involved with the hired help?" Naruto asked quietly. "I know that I haven't really got much to offer you, but I don't want you getting into trouble because of me."

"Honestly? I couldn't care less what people thought. And if it comes to that then it won't be a problem. I'll deal with it. I'm more worried about my father finding out and firing you because of it. This is your home too, and I don't want to be the reason you lose that."

Naruto raised his head from Sasuke's chest and looked at him, spreading his fingers over the soft fabric of Sasuke's singlet. That thought had occurred to him before, but when he weighed it against the concept of not having Sasuke around, it didn't even compare.

"Could he disown you though? I mean…"

"He won't. Mother won't let him, and besides, it's not like this kind of thing has never happened before."

"You're willing to take that risk for me?" Naruto asked doubtfully, chewing his lower lip.

Sasuke tucked an arm beneath his head and looked back at him calmly.

"Seems like it," he replied mildly. "I really wish you'd stop questioning this, Naruto. You think too much."

"I've been accused of it before," Naruto smiled ruefully, ducking his head shyly.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad thing," Sasuke told him, raising his chin with gentle fingers. "You've just got to know when to draw the line. When to stop thinking and start…..feeling."

Having said his, he lifted his head and kissed Naruto. He immediately kissed back, marveling at the way this seemed to come so naturally to him, as easily as breathing and twice as sweet as anything he knew. Sasuke delved deep, mapping his out and teasing gently, stealing Naruto's heart with everything he did.

As he kissed back, Sasuke dragged him backwards once more so he was sprawled against his chest. Warm arms wrapped around him and maneuvered him expertly until he was completely on top, straddling Sasuke's hips and shivering at the sensation of that long, lean body stretched out beneath him.

He gasped, and Sasuke pulled back, trailing hot lips across his cheek to suck on the spot beneath his ear.

"See? This is not thinking," he murmured. "Are you still thinking?"

Naruto shook his head, his body flushing with heat. There was no way he could think when Sasuke was creating such a storm of sensation within him. And he didn't want to. When he was in Sasuke's arms, he didn't have to think, or worry about the future. He could just be himself, and know that if anything went wrong, Sasuke would be there to catch him when he fell.

But still, he couldn't help but feel a little shy and awkward when it came to physical contact. He wasn't used to feeling such strong lust towards another person, and he wasn't used to another's touch at all on his body. So every time Sasuke came in contact with bare skin, he jumped a mile as a shot of electric desire raced through him unhindered.

He jumped predictably as cool hands slid underneath his shirt and ran up his back before smoothing down to his waist once more.

"You've got to stop doing that," Sasuke whispered. "I don't bite."

"Much…" Naruto breathed, closing his eyes against the odd combination of his touch and the awkwardness of being on top. He shifted carefully, not wanting to hurt the body underneath his and released a shuddering breath when Sasuke's hands settled on his hips.

"I wouldn't ever hurt you…."

"I know that. It's just…."

"Just what?" Sasuke moved back but left his hands where they were.

"I don't…." he began uncomfortably, not sure how to continue without offending Sasuke. He should have known that there wasn't much he could do that would offend Sasuke. He shifted again slowly, and blinking at the slow smile that spread over Sasuke's face.

"You don't like being on top," he stated, not asking.

"It's not that, I'm just not used to it…." He started to say but was cut off by Sasuke rolling them over so he was on top, and looking down at Naruto as he rested his weight on his forearms.

"Is this better?"

Naruto couldn't think of a suitable answer because Sasuke was lying squarely against him, cradled by Naruto's thighs and pressing down on his growing arousal. He breathed in, closing his eyes and shuddered, hearing Sasuke's soft laughter but not caring as a slow rocking of his hips had sparks shooting behind his eyes.

"I thought so," Sasuke murmured as he leaned down, brushing his mouth over his neck and sucking gently as his fingers got to work on his shirt.

Within moments, Sasuke was pressing kisses over the contours of his chest. He'd discovered the sensitivity of Naruto's nipples, it seemed, because he spent several minutes torturing him with teeth and tongue until he was panting and pleading beneath his sure touch.

Sasuke was pressing kisses to his quivering stomach when Naruto started to wonder exactly how much more he could take before he exploded. Sasuke's tongue was teasing around his belly button, and his hands had slid beneath Naruto's lower back, lifting him up to meet those questing lips.

His hands had wound themselves into Sasuke's dark hair without him realizing it, and when teeth nipped sharply at the skin around his navel, Naruto cried out unexpectedly and tightened his grip on his hair.

And then Sasuke's mouth was gone and Naruto opened startled eyes to see him hovering over Naruto, his eyes impossibly dark and smoldering. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but snapped it shut when he felt fingers at the waistband of his jeans. They remained staring at each other for long moments, Sasuke waiting for his consent silently and Naruto granting it without saying a word.

Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Sasuke undid the button and lowered the zipper of his jeans and Naruto bit his lip once more, unable to tear his eyes away from Sasuke but needing to express the anticipation and desire flooding through his entire body.

Fingers played with the waistband of his underwear for a moment, and Naruto gasped. Once again, Sasuke seemed to be waiting for his permission and he managed to nod tightly. There was no way he could refuse Sasuke, not when he needed so badly, and it felt so amazingly good and right. He wanted Sasuke to touch him, and he had no doubts about it. Only when he had time to worry did it become a problem.

It definitely wasn't a problem at that moment.

Sasuke returned his nod and finally slid his hand inside, pressing against Naruto tightly within the constriction of his jeans. He was achingly hard, and needed some sort of relief. Sasuke was sucking on his neck again, and Naruto arched his back, pressing as close to that hand and that mouth as he could. He was vaguely aware that he was moaning and panting for breath as that hand moved against him, wrapping around his length and squeezing gently.

"S-sasuke…." He gasped. "Oh god…"

He rocked helplessly into that hand, unable to keep still and needing to move, to do something to relieve the tension curling hot and tight within his belly.

It felt so much better than he had imaged, and so much more intense than the first time Sasuke had made him come.

He wasn't going to last much longer, and he suddenly needed Sasuke closer, needing to make him feel the same.

Burying his hands in his long hair once more he dragged him back up and kissed him hard and desperate, loving the way Sasuke groaned and stroked him harder in response, kissing back fervently.

But it still wasn't enough. Detangling his hands, Naruto didn't hesitate at all as he tried to push Sasuke's sweat pants down and was helped moments later by Sasuke's free hand. Naruto dragged him down by the hips until Sasuke wrapped his hand around both of their lengths and started to stroke, strong and fast.

He was gasping into Sasuke's kiss and it didn't take long before he was arching his back and crying out as he peaked. Sasuke wasn't far behind him and he bit into Naruto's neck, groaning and swearing softly as he shook against him.

Naruto was struggling to get his breath back, and his body was loose limbed, relaxed and tingling with the aftermath of pleasure. Sasuke had collapsed on top of him and was breathing hard. Naruto couldn't resist sliding his arms around Sasuke and holding him. Just the act of being able to do so was still enough to amaze him.

Sasuke stirred after a few minutes of their labored breathing, and reached out to snag a nearby towel. Naruto watched lazily as he cleaned his hand and then the rest of them before carelessly tossing the towel aside and looking down at him.

"You okay?"

Naruto smiled at him.

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm too tired to distract you from thinking again," Sasuke told him, smiling as he settled back down on Naruto and pressed a kiss to the skin of his neck.

"I think I have to agree with you," Naruto murmured as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke once more and smiled at the yawn he received in reply.

He had just slipped into a doze when he was startled awake by Sasuke slowly untangling their limbs and getting up.

"Come on. We're not sleeping on the couch tonight," Sasuke nudged him.

"Okay," Naruto agreed sleepily as Sasuke pulled him to his feet and led him towards the bed room.

Sasuke gently pushed him down onto the tangle of blankets that covered the massive double bed and disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. Naruto was barely awake when he felt a warm wash cloth gently brush over his stomach, and he stirred only to pull Sasuke closer when his warm body curled around his own.

After that, he was lost within the first peaceful and dreamless sleep he could remember having in a long time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Waking up to Sasuke curled around him still asleep was the highest form of bliss Naruto could imagine. He was feeling too lazy to even begin thinking about being shy about situation they were in. Sasuke was spooned against him from behind, his arm heavy around Naruto's stomach and his breath fanning the back of his neck pleasantly.

It seemed he was a fairly heavy sleeper, for he didn't even stir when Naruto shifted around experimentally.

While he would have loved to stay in bed with Sasuke forever, it was time for him to get up. The sun hadn't risen yet, and he doubted any of the other stable hands were up and about yet, but he needed to get down there and start work so as not to raise suspicions about where he was coming from.

Carefully slipping from Sasuke's embrace, he entered the en-suite bathroom and closed the door behind himself softly. Turning around, he gaped for a moment at the spacious and luxurious bathroom before him. A large, spa like bath tub complete with jets filled one entire corner of the room. It was large enough to fit at least five people in it, he thought to himself, shaking his head in amazement. The shower was a large glass enclosure that had several different jets and shower heads that he had no idea how to use. The bathroom vanity ran along one wall, had two sinks in it and a massive mirror, complete with its own down lights. The whole room was done in white tile and chrome, and looked extremely expensive.

Naruto only hoped that Sasuke wouldn't mind him using it. After relieving himself, Naruto reluctantly hopped into a hot shower, only using the standard shower head and not touching the other jets.

Five minutes later he was clean and flushed with warmth as he turned off the shower and stepped out onto a fluffy bath mat. He wrapped himself in a huge, soft towel and opened the bathroom door, releasing a cloud of steam as he did so.

Sasuke had turned onto his back and was staring up at the ceiling. As he came in, he turned towards him and looked him over.

"Should've known you're an early riser," he rumbled in a sleep roughened voice. "You realize how early it is, don't you?"

Naruto smiled as he approached and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I have to get to work. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't," Sasuke was frowning. "I thought we were going to go and sort out that storage unit today."

Naruto shifted uncomfortably and ran his hand through his damp hair.

"I was going to, but I don't think now is a good time. It can wait for awhile."

"I don't think so," Sasuke sat up and eyed him. "The longer you put this off the harder it'll be. I think you should get it over with today so you can move on."

"But I'd need to get a day off to do that and there's too much for me to do at the moment. There's more important things….."

"Just tell Hatake that you need the day off for personal business. I'm sure he'll understand." Sasuke shifted closer, the sheets pooling around his hips as he raised a hand to Naruto's cheek. "You need to do this today, Naruto. No excuses. Alright?"

Naruto sighed, and raised his hand to cover Sasuke's.

"Alright," he murmured. "We'll go today then. I need to get changed first though and grab a few things."

"Okay. You do that while I shower and then we'll go." Sasuke kissed him quickly and sat on the edge of the bed. "I hate mornings," he grumbled.

Naruto smiled. "I'm sure you'll….."

"Sasuke?" Someone called from the living room.

They both froze, Naruto with a little fear and Sasuke in surprise.

"Are you here, Sasuke?" Ino called, a little closer this time.

"Wait here," Sasuke whispered quickly, kissing him again. "I'll go get rid of her."

Naruto watched as a bare-chested Sasuke left the room, closing the door behind him and forced himself to start breathing again.

Ino's arrival had startled him, and he realized he had nothing to do but wait for Sasuke to return. He retreated to the bathroom and pulled yesterday's clothes on, listening to the rise and fall of Sasuke's voice, and the slightly higher replies from Ino.

Ten minutes later, Naruto was shoving his wallet into his pocket when Sasuke returned, looking irritated and awake.

"It's too early in the morning to be dealing with the likes of her," he muttered as he set about pulling out clean clothes.

"What did she want?"

"She was drunk. Wanted to know if I needed somebody to keep me company," Sasuke snorted. "I swear the sooner I get rid of her, the better I'll feel."

"That's not nice."

Sasuke shrugged. "She's just another girl who thinks she's in love with me. She doesn't really know…." He trailed off, and Naruto noted the darkening of his mood so he didn't push him to finish his answer.

Instead, he crossed over to where he was standing and stood up on his toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I've got some things to do. I'll see you at the front?"

Sasuke's eyes softened a little as he looked down at Naruto.

"Sure. I won't be long."

He kissed Naruto chastely, before stepping back and heading towards the bathroom.

"That's if I don't fall asleep in the damn shower," he grumbled.

Naruto smiled as he left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The radio played quietly in the tense silence between them. Sasuke was aware that Naruto was uneasy about their little trip, but he knew that what he had said earlier was right. He couldn't put this off any longer.

In the time he had known the blue eyed blond, it had become blindingly obvious that something was seriously wrong with him. He had been withdrawn and too quiet at first, subdued and bleak, and that had been part of the reason Sasuke was so drawn to him at first.

But now he knew the reason why he was like that, and it had everything to do with his father. He didn't know the details, but he did know that whatever it was, it was eating Naruto alive.

Naruto had become a much happier and more open person lately, and it warmed Sasuke to his core to see him like that. And while Naruto was rapidly captivating his attention, and possibly even his heart, he was also Sasuke's friend. He had never let a friend suffer needlessly before, and he wasn't about to start.

He watched Naruto out of the corner of his eye as they got closer and closer to the storage facility, noting the lines of tension around his eyes and the way he was shifting ever so slightly in his seat. Those blue eyes of his were wide and he was too alert for Sasuke's liking.

Last night had been amazing. He had never had a lover who had taken him to such highs before, and he was astounded as Naruto's natural ability to do so. Naruto had been so willing beneath him, giving as good as he got and Sasuke had been blessed in being able to see him fully relaxed and open.

In fact, his body was stirring even as he thought about it, and he felt that hunger, more intense than any he had known start to grip him again. But it wasn't time for that. Naruto was tensing up again, closing off and withdrawing, and he couldn't have that.

The sooner they dealt with the mess that was Naruto's past, the better.

Sasuke was frowning as they pulled up to the reception building. Naruto made as if to get out, but Sasuke stopped him.

"Wait here. I'll handle this."

Naruto looked as if he might argue, but he held his tongue and settled back down.

Within minutes, Sasuke had found out the location of the storage room and had signed in. He shut the car door behind him and started up the engine.

"Well? Is everything okay?" Naruto asked immediately, turning to face him.

"It's all fine. Just take it easy, Naruto."

He nodded and looked out the window as they turned down one of the tiny streets. The layout of the place was fairly simple. The storage rooms were long lines of buildings, each with a garage type door that opened onto the street.

Naruto's one was right at the back of the property. The place was deserted, as it was still pretty early in the morning. Sasuke parked the car outside the room, and killed the engine.

"You ready for this?"

"I think so," Naruto let out a shaky laugh. "I don't know."

"Well, lets get this over with yeah? You got the key?" Sasuke asked as he opened his door and got out. Naruto followed more slowly, and Sasuke found that being patient with Naruto wasn't as hard as it was with other people. In fact, when it came to the small blond, patience came as easily as breathing. If it had been anyone else, he would have snapped by now, and he was still puzzling this mystery out.

He stood close by Naruto in the hopes that his presence would offer him some measure of comfort. Naruto's hands were shaking too much to fit the key into the lock, so he quickly took it off him and opened it for him.

Naruto rested his head against Sasuke's shoulder blade.

"Thanks."

Sasuke nodded silently, removing the padlock and pushing the roller door up to reveal darkness beyond. Naruto was still leaning against him and hadn't moved, so he pulled him forward and wrapped his arm around his shoulders as he flipped the light switch. He blinked in surprise. A huge black truck took up most of the room, all gleaming black paintwork and shiny silver metal.

A couple of boxes lined the walls, and a few more were stacked in the bed of the truck, but that was all. He felt Naruto shivering beside him, and noted the way he wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold.

"My dad's truck," he whispered. "He loved that thing. I thought they sold it when he…."

"Come on," Sasuke prompted gently, leading him forward. "We should sort this stuff out and take back what you want to keep. I don't suppose you'll keep renting this place?"

Naruto shook his head mutely and moved away, wandering towards the boxes and brushing dust off of a couple.

He hung back and watched, hating the helpless feeling the was congealing in his gut. He hated that sadness in Naruto's eyes, hated the way it made his shoulders droop and made him look smaller, as if the weight of the world was trying its best to crush him.

It had done a bang up job so far, Sasuke thought to himself, containing the flash of anger easily.

"Sasuke…."

He looked across the room to where Naruto stood.

"Would you mind…" Naruto swallowed visibly. "Would you mind helping me unpack some of theses boxes? I have no idea what's in them…"

"Sure thing."

Most of them were old clothes, some of which had belonged to Naruto's mother. Others were filled with books, and Naruto's baby toys and teddy bears. One held a vast collection of awards, from dressage and show jumping, to endurance riding and western pleasure.

The man must have been some kind of genius, Sasuke thought to himself. And it looked like Naruto had all of his talent, if not more.

He looked up from the collection to where Naruto was sitting a few feet away with his head bent over an old battered photo album.

Sasuke set aside the trophy he was holding and moved closer.

"That's my father," Naruto said, pointing.

Naruto's father wasn't anything like what Sasuke had expected. Tall, broad shouldered and muscular enough to put a professional athlete to shame, he looked like an older version of Naruto. They had the same blond hair, and the same facial structure. Naruto's eyes were a couple of shades darker than his father's though, a deep sapphire blue instead of the color of the sky

The man's smile was brighter than the sun, and even from a photograph Sasuke could tell that he had been a charismatic man who could draw people in as easily as breathing.

"And that's my mother."  
A small woman, with average brown hair, and the palest skin he'd ever seen was standing next to Naruto's father. She had kind eyes, he noticed. Everything about the woman was normal and plain, but something about her made her special. There was a glow about her that he couldn't put his finger on, and Sasuke found himself becoming enthralled with the thought of Naruto's family.

Naruto was staring at the picture of his father unseeingly and Sasuke felt his own heart bruise at the sight of such heartache and misery. It occurred to him that Naruto probably still missed his father more than anything, and that he had probably never really had the chance to grieve for what he had lost.

"Naruto, it's okay to miss him," Sasuke told him, moving closer still and entwining their fingers together. He raised Naruto's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there.

"It's not that," Naruto whispered hoarsely.

"Then what?"

Naruto looked up at him, helpless desperation in his eyes and a grief so fierce that it scared him.

"You wouldn't understand. No one would. Hell, I don't even understand it most of the time…." Naruto laughed, a mocking, harsh sound full of self hatred and recrimination.

"Try me," Sasuke replied, softly.

He needed to walk carefully with this or he would frighten Naruto away. It was a very sensitive topic, and he suspected that Naruto hadn't told the majority of people about it.

Naruto was silent for a long time, and Sasuke watched as the tears welled in his eyes and trickled slowly down his cheeks. It made him want to reach out and pull him close, and whisper that everything would turn out alright.

But how could he do that knowing it was a lie? Here was a person who had lost everything, including his self-esteem, his family, his security, and everything that had once made him who he was. How could you console that kind of loss? There was no way he could rationalize the cruelty that fate had dealt Naruto, so he wasn't going to try and offer him false comfort. Instead, he would listen.

He doubted very much that Naruto had ever felt that he had someone who would listen to him without judging him in some way, or taking pity on him. Naruto didn't need pity to make him feel worse.

"It's my fault he's dead," Naruto said at last, his voice wavering slightly as he reached up and brushed away his tears. He stared at them for a moment before wiping his face again.

"I'm the reason he died. If I wasn't around, then maybe he would still be alive. Maybe mom would be too." Naruto finally looked at him, and it was like a punch in the gut to see the pain in those eyes. "I don't think you'd like me much if you knew what happened. I don't like myself much, to be honest."

"Naruto…." Sasuke was lost for words. He had to think really hard to come up with something that wouldn't drive him away. He cleared his throat and looked down at the man who had been Naruto's father, praying for strength.

"Nothing you tell me will change this between us. I won't judge you, and it won't change the way I see you. So….if you think you can tell me, I'd like to hear it."

Naruto was looking at him, tears banished for the time being, but the sadness lingering. He seemed calm, and that's what scared him most of all. His mind flickered briefly to the scars that scored the smooth skin on Naruto's wrists and began to get an idea where the conversation was headed.

The key to understanding Naruto, and healing his hurt was within his grasp and he wasn't about to let it slip away.

TBC

* * *

A/N/Ducks flying/ objects I know, I know, horrible cliff hanger, but I needed to finish it _somewhere!_ And yes, in the next chapter, you find out what happened to Naruto in the past. YAY!!!!

I honestly don't know where this chapter came from. I mean, I started it hoping to be able to write at least a few paragraphs, and then BAM! I can't stop writing. It's got a life of it's own this story, I swear!

I'm tired now. I just spent four hours on this at work (when I was supposed to be working mind you) and I'm really quite happy with it. Hope you are too. Look forward to the next chappie ppls! I now have to go do some work. So it's back to the boring with me. What fun…..


	27. Be My Downfall

**Disclaimer: **I_ own nothing to do with Naruto, or it's characters or concepts. They belong to their rightful owner and not me._

**Warnings: **_Usual warnings apply. Yaoi, angst, swearing, and possibly some bad writing. _

**A/N**: _I actually had most of this chapter written at the beginning of the week, and I probably would have had it finished, edited and posted long before this but I got distracted/addicted to the game Bubble Shooter. That game is addictive..._

_Thanks go out to my wonderful beta Chibikoi as usual. She does a wonderful job!_

* * *

Chapter 25: _Be My Downfall_

Naruto wasn't exactly sure what had compelled him to open his mouth to begin with, but he knew he couldn't stop once he had started. Sasuke had a right to know what he was getting himself into, and Naruto wasn't going to let this go any further until he knew just how much of a mess he was.

That was the truth of it though. When his father had died, he had lost his feet and hadn't ever been able to get back up again. Only once Sasuke had come along had he finally been able to gather his bearings. And he wasn't anywhere near alright, wasn't sure if he ever would be, but he had to tell him. Even if it meant that they could never be together again.

Sasuke was sitting beside him quietly, not saying anything, and for once Naruto didn't have even the faintest idea what was running through his head.

Naruto was staring at the picture of his smiling father. His arms were wrapped around his mother, and they were sitting bareback astride a pretty looking appaloosa pony. His eyes were glued to the picture and he knew that if he even looked at Sasuke he would probably lose his nerve and not be able to finish what he had started.

Keeping his eyes averted, Naruto began to talk, unable to raise his voice much above that of a whisper but knowing that Sasuke could hear him anyway.

--------

_That morning before his dad had left to go to the stables, they__'__d had a fight. It was something that only happened once in a blue moon, and the fact that it had happened at all should have forewarned him of what was to come somehow._

_Naruto could remember his father getting angry- the clenching of his jaw, and the steely blue of his eyes- but he hadn__'__t backed down. Eventually, his father had left, shutting the door with a calm which was very clearly forced. His father never yelled, which had only served to anger Naruto even more._

_They were staying at a big commercial breeding farm, which raised purebred thoroughbreds. Many of the horses were temperamental and unpredictable, and Arashi had firmly ordered Naruto to stay away from them unless he was around, or someone he trusted was accompanying him. Naruto, resentful that his father was still trying to protect him despite him being twelve years old, had grudgingly agreed._

_However, there was one horse that Naruto was drawn to. A huge, bay stallion, with a fierce disposition and a restless spirit. Arashi had strictly forbidden Naruto to go near that particular stallion, stating that he was dangerous and had a mean streak a mile wide. Naruto hadn__'__t liked that order one bit and his stubbornness had raised its ugly head._

_That morning Arashi had found out from a co-worker that Naruto had been around the horse yesterday afternoon, and he had been furious with Naruto._

_Naruto hated making his father angry or upset with him but that morning he had been unusually surly and irritable, and he refused to acknowledge his mistake._

_After his father had left, Naruto had gone off to sulk somewhere alone, although he couldn__'__t remember where he__'__d gone or what he__'__d done with the morning when he thought back. That morning had passed uneventfully after that fight._

_But he did remember that at lunch time, Arashi had found him sitting on the fence of an empty round yard. His father had hoisted himself up onto the fence beside him, his long form settling on the narrow perch with ease. Naruto had refused to acknowledge his presence at first, looking away with the grumpy demeanor that prepubescent children often had about them._

"_I__'__m sorry for getting upset with you this morning. But it__'__s important that you realize why,__"__ Arashi began. __"__Will you look at me please?__"_

_Naruto had glanced sideways at his father for a brief moment before he__'__d looked away again, refusing to say anything. Arashi had sighed._

"_I__'__m only worried about your safety Naruto. Horses are big animals, and there is always a risk that you could be injured, especially with the stallions here. Many of them don__'__t have nice characters, and are too headstrong for you to handle. Do you understand what I__'__m saying?__"_

_Naruto had shook his head._

"_You just don__'__t want me to work with you. I can look after myself.__"_

"_I know you can Naruto. I just…I don__'__t want to see you hurt that__'__s all. So for now, can you just do as I ask and be careful?__"_

"_Fine,__"__ Naruto snapped_

"_One day you__'__ll see what I mean Naruto,__"__ Arashi had said softly. __"__I know that you__'__re mad at me, but can you at least try to see it from my point of view?__"_

_Naruto had remained silent, and after a moment, Arashi had slid off the railing._

"_Okay. Come and talk to me when you__'__re ready, okay?__"__ he__'__d said, before kissing Naruto__'__s forehead and leaving him alone._

_He__'__d never gotten to sort things out with his father. He__'__d been too stubborn and too selfish to see past his own feelings, to try and understand his father. Arashi had been trying to treat him as a mature adult, and he had thrown that back in his face with a childish temper tantrum._

_Two hours later he__'__d been walking along a small strip of grass that separated two fields when he heard shouting coming from the directions of the stables. His ears heard the staccato sound of irregular hooves, and he dismissed it immediately. Some horse had probably escaped from its handler, or stall. In awhile they__'__d catch the runaway horse, and it would all settle down again._

_Alarmed when he heard the sound of his father's voice joining in, he broke into a run, wondering why his father sounded so upset. _

_Once he reached that stable yard, panting hard from his run, he__'__d been faced with pure chaos. A ground of stable hands had trapped a chestnut horse in one corner of the stable yard, but there was another commotion inside the stable._

"_Dad? Dad where are you?__"__ he called uncertainly._

"_Naruto, stay where you are! I__'__m coming to get you now-__"__ his father__'__s voice was cut off and he could hear his muffled cursing._

_Scared now, he stayed put for a few moments, but when his father didn__'__t come, he tentatively moved towards the stable, gathering speed as he went. _

"_Dad? Dad?__"__ he called, as he checked one isle after another._

_He rounded a corner, and stumbled when two men pushed by him, and he fell to the ground. The sounds of an angry horse reached his ears, and the yelling became louder. _

_He scrambled backwards in fright when the huge, daunting shape of that bay stallion skidded around the corner and thundered angrily towards him._

_Naruto cried out in fear and scrambled backwards, trying to find his feet and escape at the same time. He managed to stagger upright but it was too late- the horse was upon him, rearing angrily, and screaming shrilly as__it__s__ huge hooves thrashed angrily at the air above his head. _

_Naruto was too scared to cry out, too scared to move out from underneath the stallion, too scared even to acknowledge his father screaming his name. He could remember being frozen on the spot like a rabbit caught in the glare of headlights._

_Everything was a blur after that. He found himself pushed violently to one side, and he'd crashed into the wooden wall of a nearby stable. Groggily, he__'__d shaken his head, and sat up slowly, realizing that he was safe and still alive._

_The relief he__'__d felt at that discovery was short lived when he__'__d spotted the crumpled form of his father lying on the cold stone of the stables._

_For a moment, an impossible silence hung over the stable yards, before he__'__d stared screaming and scrambling towards his father. He__'__d thrown himself to his father__'__s side and had started to shake him, calling out for him desperately to open his eyes._

_The pool of blood slowly growing around his fathers head had Naruto almost paralyzed with fear._

_Some one had pulled him forcefully away, and he__'__d watched hysterically as his father had been given emergency treatment by the paramedics. _

_The stable manager had driven him to the hospital. He__'__d sat in the waiting room for three hours before someone had come and talked to them. His father__'__s skull had been fractured - the horse__'__s hoof had struck the back of his head. They__'__d done all they could for him, and Naruto had gone in to see his father._

_His head had been wrapped in bandaged and he remembered sitting by his father__'__s side, holding his hand and talking quietly into his ear. He remember thinking that when his father woke up, he__'__d apologize for disobeying his orders and for making him angry. He__'__d made all sorts of promises to his father as he__'__d sat there; he__'__d be a better son, he__'__d do what he was told, he__'__d try to be good, and act like a grown up. All the while he__'__d sat there, his father had remained still and unconscious._

_An hour later he__'__d died. Naruto never got the chance to say he was sorry._

_-----_

The silence was almost deafening as they sat there. It had started raining again, he noted dully. The death of his father had been so sudden. One minute he had been there, and the next he was gone. Naruto had lost everything in a heartbeat. Maybe if he hadn't been the stupid, headstrong kid he had been, things would've turned out different. If he'd actually listened to his father then maybe his father wouldn't have lost his life saving Naruto's.

He could still remember the shrill ring of the heart monitor as his father had died. He'd been holding his warm hand and he had watched his father's chest stop rising and falling. After that he had no recollection of what had happened.

"What happened after that?" Sasuke's voice rang out in the quiet like the sound of bells, and Naruto closed his eyes.

"Don't really know. I remember finding myself in a run down group home where the adults paid little attention to the children. Let them run wild like a pack of feral dogs, didn't make them go to school, and served horrible meals." Naruto paused for a moment, deciding that he may as well complete the sorry tale of his early teenage years.

"I quickly fell out of favor with the older boys for some imagined failing of mine. The beatings started a week after I arrived, and they didn't stop until I left. You were wondering where these came from right?"

Naruto pushed his sleeve back to reveal one wrist, which he ran his fingers over.

"I'm not proud of the measures I took to escape. I had lost my only family and had been thrown into another type of hell all together, but that was no excuse. I couldn't seem to...pull myself together." Naruto let out a humorless, flat laugh. "I don't think my father would like the person I've turned into."

"Didn't the government do anything about..."

"They didn't care," Naruto interrupted. "After all, they have better things to do than worry about the living conditions of a bunch of homeless kids. The people who ran the place were corrupt and good at covering their tracks. Doesn't matter now anyway."

"How'd you get out?" Sasuke asked quietly.

Naruto searched for the words to tell him. Each word that he spoke felt like someone was stabbing a dull knife into his stomach. It was as if he were reliving everything that had happened to him, and it made him feel unclean and unworthy all over again.

"I didn't always try to kill myself when I did this," he said as he ran his fingers over the scars once more. "But...the last time I stayed there, I did. They'd beaten me so badly that I could barely move. I was angry at them, angry at the whole thing. I was so angry..."

He had to swallow as the tears started again, but he continued nevertheless, the words coming easier once he had started.

"Someone found me. I don't remember who, but I think it was someone who lived nearby. They called the cops and I was taken to hospital. After that, social service took me in and started looking for a place for me. But I didn't want to live somewhere I wasn't really wanted or needed. So I told them that I would find work and live by myself. My social worker found work at your place for me."

"And how long was it before you stopped hurting yourself?"

Naruto shouldn't have so surprised at how astute Sasuke was, but he was. Still there was no hiding the truth now that it was all out there, and it wasn't really that hard to say it after what he had just confessed.

"About...a little more than a year. It wasn't easy for me to settle down there, but I did. I just...I've never really told anyone about what happened. It was easier to try and ignore it than try to deal with it, you know?"

Sasuke nodded, but didn't say anything and Naruto's heart was constricting painfully in his chest. He was blinking back tears as he forced his next words free.

"If you...if you don't think you want to see me anymore I'll understand. I wouldn't even hold it against you. If I were in your place I wouldn't want anything to do with me. I'm not...I'm not a good person and nothing I do will ever make up for what I did."

Sasuke's hands tightened around his own, and he looked up into his dark eyes.

"Shut up, you idiot boy," Sasuke whispered as he raised Naruto's hand to his lips once more. Naruto gasped as he turned his hand over and brushed his mouth over his scars tenderly.

"I don't think any less of you. What happened wasn't your fault. It was a horrible accident and nothing more. And one day I'll find a way to prove that to you."

A half sob escaped Naruto as Sasuke traced the horrible thick, jagged scars one his wrist with his lips and tried to tug his wrist away.

"T-that's not true...I killed him, it was my fault, no one else's..."

Sasuke tightened his grip to the point of pain, his eyes fierce as they bored into Naruto.

"No. I won't ever believe that. You're not guilty, Naruto, no matter what you think. Your father chose to risk his life to save you because he loved you more than he loved himself. Don't dishonor his decision by thinking that it was anything else."

With that, Naruto was pulled roughly into Sasuke's arms. He fought him for a moment, wanting to deny the words and wanting to run away. But he was no match for Sasuke, not when he felt so drained and weak. Sasuke wouldn't let him go though, so he found himself sinking down into the warmth of his body as his grief washed over him in endless waves. He wanted nothing more than to disappear into the comfort that Sasuke offered, needing his voice and his touch to reassure himself that he was indeed still alive and that his father's sacrifice hadn't been in vain.

No matter what Sasuke said, the guilt he felt would still lie close to his heart, and there was nothing anyone could say that would convince him that it wasn't his fault.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sasuke closed his door behind himself and leant back against it, closing his eyes as he exhaled slowly. His head was killing him. Ever since he had parted with Naruto, he hadn't been able to stop thinking. The revelation of the death of Naruto's father had been unexpected and quite a shock. And learning that people had deliberately hurt one who was already suffering such terrible grief was enough to make him sick.

The mere thought of Naruto trying to kill himself sent chills up and down his spine and put a terrible fear in his heart. He was feeling angry and upset and he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. The doubt that had resided in Naruto's eyes as he'd kissed him goodbye made him fiercely protective. Naruto honestly thought that he would stop seeing him because of his past, like he wasn't worth the effort.

Sasuke was partly angry at himself. Naruto had him all twisted up and confused, and he wasn't sure what to do about it or about him. He'd always known what he wanted in the past, what he liked and disliked with a clarity that sometimes surprised even him. But with Naruto he wanted so much he was unsure how to go about it. Worse yet was the indecision of how he felt.

How could you tell if you were in love or not when you he never experienced it before? Sure, he had been attracted to people, and he had feelings for several, but love? That was a completely different playing field all together, and he was a novice.

What he needed was Gaara. Gaara had an answer for everything, and he was usually always right. They'd been close friends since forever, and confidents as well as allies against the forces that were their fathers. While Sasuke had led an active business life in regards to his father's companies, Gaara had been shoved aside and ignored in favor of his older siblings. Not that Gaara had minded all that much since it gave him freedom to do whatever he wanted but it had left a smattering of resentment towards the man.

Sasuke needed to talk to Gaara, that was for sure. But first he needed to shower and get ready. His mother had asked that Itachi and Sasuke join her for brunch, and while he enjoyed spending time with his mother, spending time with Itachi was another matter entirely. He doubted very much that Itachi disliked him as much as he disliked Itachi, but that didn't really matter. Spending more than fifteen minutes with the man was enough to make his gut churn with bitterness and irritation.

Sasuke pushed himself off the door and headed for his bedroom. If he was going to hold his own in the eternal battle of the wits he and Itachi engaged in, then he needed to at least look presentable. God knew that Itachi didn't need anything else to criticize him on.

Fifteen minutes later and dressed smartly in a pair of business pants and a gray silk shirt rolled up to the elbow, Sasuke opened the door into his mother's sun room and closed it behind him.

It wasn't a particularly sunny day; in fact it was gloomy and threatening rain again. But his mother's taste and style when it came to decorating was enough to lighten even the darkest of spirits. Flowers were displayed unobtrusively around the room, releasing pleasing fragrances and bringing splashes of bright color. Couches and chairs were set strategically around the room in places where one could overlook the gardens with the best view. A simple glass and stainless steel table and chair set was situated near one of the largest windows.

His mother was fiddling with a bunch of flowers off to one side. She was dressed in a long, flowing dark red skirt and a ruffled white short sleeved top. Her dark hair was swept back off her face by an elegant silver hair clasp.

Lady Mikoto was without a doubt the most beautiful woman that Sasuke knew, and he knew a lot of women. But she was modest too, and had a quiet intelligence that often surprised some people.

"Sasuke," she turned and greeted him with a smile.

Sasuke returned her smile and went over to her to place a kiss on her smooth cheek.

"Good morning mother."

She smiled up at him, her dark eyes warm.

"Where have you been keeping yourself, my love? I've hardly seen you since you returned home."

"I'm sorry Mother. I've been organizing things for the Competition, and trying to keep my friends busy. I'm sorry I haven't spent time with you."

She led him over to a small wicker seat and they sat down together.

"Don't worry about it. I understand how it is with you young things. Always off doing one thing or another," she teased gently.

He smiled at her, trying his best to participate in their conversation, but was unable to put any heart into it. His mind was stuck firmly on Naruto, and the way that misery had turned them an even darker shade of blue.

He opened his mouth to make some sort of effort to reply but was cut off by Itachi's untimely entrance. Sasuke watched with distaste as Itachi kissed their mother's cheek in greeting before he looked down at him.

Itachi and Sasuke were physically similar in many respects, but that was where the resemblance ended. They shared the same dark haired, dark eyed looks as their father and the same pale complexion as their mother. Itachi carried more muscle whereas Sasuke was approaching the same height but had the more slender and sleek look about him. There was no doubt that Itachi looked sophisticated. He had women flocking all over him, despite his wife (a woman that Sasuke found as distasteful and annoying as his brother) and that only seemed to boost his already inflated ego.

Sasuke was more willowy than Itachi, but possessed muscles of a man who did a fair bit of physical work. Itachi wore his hair short, almost military style, whereas Sasuke wore his longer.

Itachi was known for his sharp intelligence and his ruthless business tactics. He followed his father's word to the letter, but usually paid little heed to anyone else.

Sasuke was known for his recklessness and his disregard for the rules. There were also rumors about the tensions between his father and himself, but that didn't bother Sasuke as much as it bothered his father. While the man did his best to make Sasuke fall in line (and Sasuke was usually forced to whether he liked it or not) he made it blatantly obvious that he didn't like it, usually in the form of making bold, and head strong decisions when it came to the business world.

Lady Mikoto wasn't oblivious to the tensions between her sons, or between her husband and youngest son, but she stayed out of it for the most part. Sasuke often wondered if she had given up on the idea of some kind of reconciliation. On his behalf, at least, he doubted that there would be. The man was a stubborn ass, and that had very obviously been passed onto Itachi, along with whatever genes made them both such menacing business moguls.

Sasuke had long since discovered that he lacked their ambition when it came to making money. He leaned towards the more creative ways of making money, most of which didn't involve blatant disregard for the average working person. He had no interest in the media, or importing and exporting manufacturing goods, or investing in oil and fuel shares. He wasn't interested in constructing towering buildings meant to strike awe into the hearts of people.

No, he was interest in art, and music and sports. Horse riding being the main one, but skiing and snowboarding he wasn't bad at. If he had his way when he inherited, he would take more interest in these. Not unless Itachi had anything to do with it, but Sasuke was prepared to fight for what he wanted, and he wasn't afraid of his father or his brother.

Being aware of the simmering dislike between her sons, Lady Mikoto still had insisted that they spend some time together. Sasuke knew for a fact that Itachi disapproved of most of what he did, and it irked him that he got so irritated at the man about it. On some level in the tiniest corner of his heart, he must still care what he thought of him on some level.

"Sasuke. I trust that your holidays have thus far have been productive?" Itachi enquired by way of greeting.

Normally Sasuke wouldn't have cared how Itachi talked to him, or what words were exchanged between them, but after experiencing such raw emotions that morning, he found he had little patience or tolerance to engage in their usual subtle struggles.

He frowned at Itachi, but nodded tightly.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes."

"What's your business is mine, little brother. What kind of sibling would I be if I didn't take an interest in the goings on in your life?" Itachi replied calmly.

_Yeah, _Sasuke thought to himself. _Only so you can report everything you learn back to father. Weasel..._

"Come along, you two. Let's sit down. I have some news," their mother intervened smoothly. Sasuke managed to suppress the twinge of gratitude he felt towards her at that moment and followed her over to the table.

A simple breakfast of fresh fruit, lightly toasted bread and croissants lay in wait for them, and Sasuke helped himself to a cup of tea and fruit which he had no appetite for. He picked at the food moodily, setting his chin in his hand and narrowing his eyes into his tea before taking a mouthful and going back to playing with his grapes.

He wondered what Naruto was doing at that moment. Had he shut himself in his room alone? That didn't seem like Naruto. He was probably out there working his ass off and would keep going until he dropped of exhaustion. That was more like him. Naruto went out of his way to avoid his problems, it seemed, not because he was cowardly in any way, but because in his past experiences that had bought nothing but pain. No, Naruto had learned how to survive without thinking too deeply about the terrible things that had happened to him. He took each day as it came, striving just to get through another day instead of thinking about the future.

It was a bleak way to live life, Sasuke thought to himself. No hope for the future, no plans or anything to look forward to. Sasuke had thought his lifestyle was constricting before, but Naruto was rapidly opening his eyes to just how badly things could go wrong.

He wanted to go down there and make sure he was alright. Hell, he wanted so much when it came to Naruto, but he knew that there was no coddling Naruto. The young man had seen it all. There was no longer anything to shelter him from, and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. Most of the people he had been in contact with were materialistic, and hadn't really developed a larger view of the world. Except for Gaara that was.

Sasuke needed to get away for awhile so he could think. There wasn't any point in him attending the little brunch his mother had set up, as he wasn't participating at all in the Itachi was holding with their mother.

Sighing inwardly, he raised his cup to his mouth and took another sip of his lukewarm tea.

"Sasuke?"

He looked up at his mother in surprise.

"Yeah?"

She smiled at him.

"I was just saying how I'm planning to hold a charity event here next weekend. I was hoping you didn't have plans."

"No. No plans, mother. What kind of charity event?"

"The committee is hoping to raise enough funds to revitalize the run down children hospital in the city. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I thought it would be nice to hold an event here for once. We have more than enough staff to help out. I'm sure it will run smoothly."

Sasuke nodded.

"Sounds good. I'll be there."

"I hope you'll bring your friends that are visiting. I haven't yet had a chance to meet them," Itachi put in, smiling slightly.

Sasuke fought the urge to glare at him. Knowing Itachi, meeting his friends would be more like an interrogation, with Itachi gleaning all he could about them, and leaving them quivering in their boots with either fear or admiration, or both. The only person it hadn't worked on had been Gaara, and for good reason. Gaara was practically fearless. When they had traveled around Europe during the last holiday, Gaara had been right there with him doing all the things that none of their other friends would be caught doing. Bungee jumping, snow boarding, skiing, sky diving.

Besides, Sasuke and Gaara had grown up together, so like Sasuke, Gaara had developed an immunity to Itachi that was unshakable.

"Maybe I will," he muttered.

"I've also invited Gaara's family. I believe that only Gaara and his older brother are able to attend however," his mother said, as if reading his mind.

No great loss then. Sasuke wasn't overly fond of any of Gaara's family. They were a bunch of assholes in his opinion, but the rest of his family hadn't gotten that impression from them. Of course, he could be a little biased, but that was beside the point.

"And what about father?" Sasuke asked, trying to hide his sudden tension.

There was no way he was going to let his father anywhere near Naruto, lest he find something out about their relationship...or whatever it was between them. He couldn't afford risks at such a fragile point in time. Naruto was doubting Sasuke and his intentions after that morning, and there was no way Sasuke was ready to give him up yet.

"He's still detained on overseas business," Lady Mikoto replied serenely as she stirred her tea. "He passes on his regrets that he hasn't been able to see you since your break began. He was looking forward to talking with you."

_Interrogating, more like, _ Sasuke thought darkly to himself. _Wanting to know what I've done wrong since we were last face to face. Heaven forbid I do something that smears the impeccable Uchiha image..._

But he kept his mouth shut firmly. There was no way he was giving Itachi anything to use against him.

Speaking of Itachi, the man had that considering look on his face that he always had before he dropped some big bombshell and stood back to watch the fall out.

"Whatever happened to that lovely young lady you were seeing a couple of months back?"

Sasuke froze for a moment with his heart in his throat but forced himself to move and picked up his tea jerkily.

"Ayaka?" he asked in a slightly strained voice.

How the hell had he known about her? She had been the last person he had dated. Not that he ever dated anyone all that seriously until Naruto. They all got too clingy, asking questions like where they were heading and referring to him as their boyfriend. The guys as well as the girls, and Sasuke hated it. All they were clinging to was his fame, his money and his title. Not him. Not what he wanted, or what he liked or who he was. Just what he represented.

The only reason he had kept on with Ayaka was because she had been a strange mix of sweet and cute, but had turned out to be wild in bed. She had shown him things that he hadn't known existed until she had come along. But after a couple of weeks she had started to get clingy like all the others and he had suffered from that crippling claustrophobia once more.

"Yes, Ayaka. Who did you think I was referring to?" Itachi asked innocently.

"Who was this girl, Sasuke?" his mothered asked with interest. "I wasn't aware you were dating anyone."

"I'm not. Not anymore." That particular lie was like a punch in the gut that made him feel nauseous. "It ended a couple of weeks ago."

"A difference of opinion then?" Itachi asked, watching him with a knowing look in his eye. "Or something else perhaps?"

A trendle of suspicion worked its way into Sasuke's mind, and he wondered just how much Itachi had guessed about his relationship with Naruto. It struck a fear so fierce and deep within him that it was almost paralyzing and he wanted to choke. Maybe he was in over his head with Naruto? He wasn't even sure he was ready for what was going on between them, and yet he was flinging himself in head first without looking where he was going.

Or maybe it was just Itachi messing with his head as he always did. Anger was stirring within Sasuke and he fought to retain his control on it.

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied tightly.

"Itachi, perhaps..." Lady Mikoto began, but was interrupted by the shrill ringing of Itachi's phone.

His older brother glanced at the phone before standing up.

"Excuse me, mother, Sasuke. I have a telephone conference I need to deal with."

Itachi leaned across the table and kissed their mother on the cheek before leaving the room.

His mother smiled at him and took his hand.

"I'm sorry about Itachi's behavior, honey. He's under a lot of stress at the moment, what with your father gone and him having to stand in for him..."

"He's also an ass," Sasuke grumbled, before glancing at her guiltily. "Sorry..."

"He can be that, too," his mother smiled. "As can your father."

Sasuke exhaled as his anger began to diffuse. Now that Itachi was gone and he didn't have to put on that act, he felt drained. The anger may have started to disappear, but the doubt his brother had planted hadn't.

"What's bothering you, Sasuke? You seem troubled."

He glanced up into his mother's concerned eyes and managed a strained smile.

"Nothing you can help with, mother. I just...I need some time, that's all."

She nodded and patted his hand.

"I understand. If you don't mind me asking though...it isn't about that girl your brother mentioned, is it? Did she hurt you in some way...?"

Sasuke shook his head and smiled genuinely at his mother.

"No, it isn't her."

"But there is someone, isn't there? I just hate to see you so torn, Sasuke. I want you to be happy."

Sasuke nodded and squeezed her hand gently.

"It's nothing for you to worry about mother. I'm handling it well enough. If you don't mind me leaving you, I think I need to go for a run to clear my head."

"Go ahead, Sasuke. I'll see you at dinner tonight."

Once he was standing, he leant down and kissed her soft cheek.

"See you later mother."

He left that room feeling considerably more troubled than when he had entered.

* * *

A/N: Writing Sasuke's POV is always difficult for me, but a challenge is good for the mind, as they say. I hope it lives up to your expectations. I wrote it because I have received several requests for more from Sasuke, so here it is. Let me know how you think it went, and what I should improve on if you please! 


	28. These Words

Disclaimer: The characters and concepts of Naruto don't belong to me. They belong to their rightful owners and creators. Lyrics are from "Harbor" by Vienna Teng

Warnings: Yaoi, swearing, violence and other scenes which may offend some readers. Please don't read if this type of thing isn't your cup of tea.

See Authors Notes at the end!

* * *

Chapter 26: _These Words_

_You've got a journey to make_

_There's your horizon to chase_

_So go far beyond where we stand_

_No matter the distance_

_I'm holding your hand_

Sasuke was going to kill him.

Naruto stared dazedly up at the slate gray sky above him and tried to breathe again. He was badly winded, and a horrible ache had taken a hold of his body, the kind that you got straight after you got thrown from a horse as he had just been.

Sora had taken off at the frantic gallop, not doubt on the other side of the jumping paddock. That was her whinnying he could hear.

The sound was soon drowned out by the thundering of hooves on hard packed ground.

Yup, he was doomed.

But before he could linger on that, a sharp, white hot pain seized his back in a vice like grip. He bit into his lip to stop himself from crying out as the pain swept through him in waves.

Just what he needed. They were barely weeks out from the show and he'd managed to get himself thrown from one of the biggest horses in the stable.

They'd finally made progress with her jumping, and she was showing an aptitude for the sport once she had gotten over her initial fears. He'd been taking her over a fancy jumping course he and Sasuke had designed, in order to test her readiness for the show. They'd watched Sasuke and Taira fly over the course with an ease that was enviable. Sasuke made it look so easy and elegant, as if it were as natural to him as breathing.

It wasn't, that was for sure. He'd learned that the hard way. Sora had been doing fine up until they'd reached the small water obstacle they'd devised. He'd lined her up and checked her in as he always did. They'd launched into the air but at the last second she had panicked and refused the jump, twisting sideways in order to avoid the fence. Naruto had been taken unaware and unprepared and had gone flying from her back.

And there he was, lying flat on the ground and unable to move from the horrible, stabbing pains in his back.

Sasuke was there in seconds, jumping off Taira's back and falling to his knees before Naruto's side.

"Naruto? Are you hurt?" Sasuke's strained voice made him open his eyes once more and try to smile.

"I've been better," he managed to gasp through the pain.

"Kakashi's on his way and he's sent for help," Sasuke said calmly, although the grip he had on Naruto's hand was painfully tight.

That was okay though, because it meant Naruto could squeeze right back against the pain in his back. He didn't need a doctor to tell him that it was bad. People broke all sorts of bones horse riding, and backs were easy to damage.

"Can you tell me where it hurts?" Sasuke's hand was on his forehead, stroking his hair back from his skin.

"Back," he whispered, closing his eyes to block out the look on Sasuke's face.

"You're going to be fine Naruto," Sasuke whispered. "Help's on the way."

Before he could reply, Kakashi was kneeling on his other side.

"It's his back," Sasuke told him quietly. "He hurt it when he landed."

"Naruto, can you open your eyes for me?" Kakashi asked, taking his wrist and measuring his pulse.

He did so, squinting out the light from the sky above. The pain had receded a little, and if he tried not to move then it kept getting a little better by the moment.

"That's good. Can you tell me if anything else hurts?"

"I can't feel anything else," he replied.

Noticing the dismayed glances they shot each other he was quick to reassure them.

"I just meant that my back hurts too much. I can still feel me legs and feet." he elaborated. "I don't think I need to go to the hospital. Just get me to my bed and I'll be fine."

"Nice try," Kakashi said dryly. "You know the protocol with any falls, Naruto."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes once more. "I know."

His whole body was throbbing as a matter of fact, and his back didn't hurt unless he moved. He was going to have some impressive bruises that was for sure.

"Your nose is bleeding," Sasuke said suddenly.

He opened his eyes to see him pull a tissue from somewhere and hold it briefly under his nose.

"Ah. Here they are," Kakashi murmured, looking off up the feild.

Naruto closed his eyes again, knowing that Sasuke and Kakashi would look after him. He was suddenly exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and drift off, but Sasuke grip tightened on his hand.

"Stay awake, Naruto," he murmured. "Don't sleep."

" 'm awake," he reassured him.

It was probably a good thing that Sasuke was so good at disguising his emotions. He and Kakashi were both calm and controlled in such a situation, and although he knew that he could be in big trouble, their professionalism gave him the strength to stay calm despite the pain.

"Is he okay?" he distantly heard Tenten's voice demanding, but her voice came from far away, as if she was calling from the end of a tunnel.

"He'll be fine," Kakashi said. "I need you and Kiba to get Taira and Sora to the stables. Genma, get that back board over here and do your thing. It's a good thing you were a paramedic, because we need to get him inside before it starts to pour on us."

"Raidou's calling an ambulance...."

That was the last he heard before he fell into oblivion.

* * *

"You'd better wake up soon or I'm going to be really angry with you." a voice stated from somewhere nearby.

He managed to pry his eyes open and stared up at the unfamiliar white ceiling in confusion. He didn't hurt anymore, which was a good thing. And he felt warm and dry, so he was obviously out of the field.

"There you are."

Sasuke's face appeared above his bed, a small smile on his face. If he was smiling, then it couldn't be that bad could it?

"Sasuke?" he croaked.

"Here."

A straw was pressed against his mouth and he obediently drank the water that he offered, glad to wet his parched throat.

"You're safe," Sasuke told him, stroking his hair for a moment. "I had you transferred to a private hospital. You're going to be fine."

"My back?" he asked tiredly.

"Not broken," Sasuke said promptly, giving him a full smile this time, his relief written in every line on his face. "Just some muscle strain and soft tissue damage the doctor said. You're going to be fine."

At hearing that, Naruto relaxed completely, a burden lifting from his shoulders that he hadn't known he was carrying. The restriction around his chest eased as his fear lifted. If he had broken his back, then he would lose everything; a job he loved, horses. Sasuke.

He closed his eyes against the tears of relief, and a moment later felt the brush of lips against his forehead for a long, lingering moment.

"You scared me so badly," Sasuke whispered against his skin.

"Sorry."

"I have to go. You get some rest. I'll be back later."

Naruto nodded without opening his eyes and felt another kiss pressed to his check.

"Sleep well, Naruto."

He did just that before Sasuke had even left the room.

* * *

He knew the doctors had said he would be fine, but the pain currently gripping his lower back begged to differ.

Naruto gritted his teeth as he lay on his stomach, frustrated and helpless against the raging pain that was gripping him. They'd told him he couldn't have another dose of medication for another hour, but he honestly didn't think he could last that long.

Kakashi said they would be releasing him today and he couldn't be more glad. He'd been stuck in hospital for three days, bored, restless and in pain. They were releasing him at last provided that he get lost of bed rest and kept movement to a minimum. He might not have broken his back, but it hurt like a bitch, so he doubted that even if he wanted to get out there and work, he probably wouldn't get more than a few steps.

His doctor, a kind man who smiled too much and made him want to scream, had said that gentle exercise over the next few weeks would help.

At the rate he was going, he wouldn't even be able to get up to walk out the damn doors of the hospital.

"Naruto!! You're awake!" Kiba said gleefully, bounding in the room with Genma and Tenten on his heels.

He managed a tight smile then squeezed his eyes closed as another wave of pain gripped him.

"What's wrong?" Tenten asked worriedly, a hand touching his shoulder gently.

"Back hurts," he whispered, relaxing slightly as the pain abated once more.

"I thought they were giving you pain meds for that?" Genma asked from the chair beside his bed.

"They are. I'm not allowed another dose yet," he replied, opening his eyes once more and managing another smile.

"Damn doctors," Kiba muttered going to the door and poking his head out. "What good are they if they don't help when someone's in pain?"

"Er....I would have called them but I can't reach the button," Naruto replied sheepishly.

The nurse who had gotten him up that morning had forgotten to put it within his reach. Genma reached forward and hit the button insistently for a couple of minutes, a frown on his face.

"Kakashi and Iruka are coming this evening to break you out of here," Tenten informed him brightly, obviously to try and brighten his spirits a little. "You'll feel better once you're at home."

"I'm sure I will."

"Kakashi has been in a mood ever since you were hurt," Genma said thoughtfully. "I reckon Iruka's been upset with him for letting you get hurt."

"Nobody _let _me do anything," Naruto corrected him tiredly. "It was an accident. Sora refused the jump after we'd taken off and I wasn't prepared for that. There was no warning at all. It was just a stupid accident."

"I've no doubt. Well, you'll be back on your feet in a few weeks and that's all that matters." Genma said certainly.

Naruto smiled at the faith the man had in him; even if he felt it was slightly misplaced, it was touching none the less.

"I'll probably miss the show though," he said bitterly, trying not to let it show.

He'd started to look forward to the challenge it presented as well. It had been a chance to prove his worth, to show what he was really made of. He wasn't proud of a lot of things in his life, but his skills with horses were something that he had worked hard on, and was proud of what he had achieved with them.

The show had been something that he could work towards and he had wanted to show Sasuke that he was worth the effort he had put in. Now all that was in doubt and it depressed him immensely.

"Maybe, maybe not," Genma said reasonably. "If you're sensible about getting your rest and taking the time to heal properly, then you could be better in time to compete."

"Sora's not ready. I haven't finished her training...." he protested.

"Don't you worry about that now," Tenten put in. "Raidou has taken that over. He insisted and Kakashi let him."

"Really?" he asked, surprised.

Raidou was a man who kept himself to himself, and while he cared for his friends, he liked to keep from interfering in their matters as much as possible. It wasn't selfishness, but a respect for others that presented itself in a different way.

"Yeah really. He's been really annoying about it actually," Kiba snorted. "Won't let anyone interfere or help him out. He's out there first thing in the morning, waking me up and covering most of your chores."

Naruto felt a flash of guilt at that, and Genma flicked him lightly on his arm.

"None of that. He wants to do it. We've offered to help, but he just won't let anyone. He doesn't want you to worry about anything while you're getting better."

"Sora will be ready for the show," Tenten smiled at him confidently. "Raidou is an excellent trainer and he wants you to ride in the competition more than anything."

"In other words, hurry up and get your ass better before I lose my cool and strangle him," Kiba grumbled before backing up from the door as a nurse appeared. "Finally! What does it take to get some service around here?"

"Oi, lay off you imbecile!" Tenten scowled at him. "Lets go get a drink while she makes Naruto comfortable."

She grabbed Kiba's arm and dragged him forcefully out the door, ignoring his loud protests. Genma made as if to follow, but Naruto managed to reach out and grab his arm.

"Stay?"

Genma smiled at him and clasped his hand. "Of course."

"Naruto-san, are you in much pain?" the nurse asked as he lifted the blankets away from his back and bustled around the other side of the bed.

He nodded wordlessly.

"I can't give you any more pain medication for another half an hour Naruto-san. But I might be able to do something to help," she said apologetically. "I'll be back in a moment."

She hurried out of the room and Genma smiled warmly at him.

"This is a nice place, huh? Private room, friendly staff. I bet the food is better than what you'd get in a hotel." Genma said.

"It's not bad, for a hospital," Naruto agreed, not adding the fact that he hated hospitals more than anything.

The smell of disinfectant and cleaning chemicals, the sounds of the life support machines and those of the injured and the dying. The way death seemed to hover heavily in the air. Things went wrong in hospitals. People died when they shouldn't, lives were ruined by the loss of loved ones, wounds were created that couldn't be healed by any medicine or surgery.

His father had died in a hospital. He had sat at his side as he'd lingered on the fine line that separated life and death. He had listened, in shocked, numb silence to the machines that had tried to keep him alive and breathing. He had listened to the sound of his heart as it had stopped beating.

Yes, Naruto hated hospitals with an anger that made him sick to the stomach. He couldn't wait to get free of this one.

"Bet you're pretty sick of hospitals by now, eh?" he asked weakly, trying to distract himself from those dark thoughts.

"Pretty much. Hayate's been in and out of them since we were teenagers and I always go and visit him. Still, it if weren't for them he'd probably have been dead a long time ago."

"I guess you're right."

The nurse returned them, holding a heat pad in her hands.

"This may hurt for a few moments, Naruto-san, but after that you will feel a lot better," She told him, gently pushing up his shirt.

Naruto had been told there was a lot of bruising in the area, but the way Genma's eyes widened at the sight of it told him that it was probably worse than he had imagined it to be.

He gasped as she lay the heat pad along his back, the warmth of it almost unbearable and bringing tears to his eyes. He buried his face in his pillow and tried not to tense too much, knowing it would make the pain worse. Genma gripped his hand throughout the worst of it though, and after awhile, he relaxed again.

The heat did seem to work pretty well, the pain abating as warmth radiated along his back. It also made him drowsy and by the time Tenten and Kiba returned, he was half asleep.

Genma was stroking the back of his hand softly, and the sensation was enough to soothe him further.

"Is he asleep?" Tenten whispered to Genma.

"Not quite. But he will be soon." the older man replied. "We should leave him to rest."

He went to get up and release Naruto, but he tightened his grip on Genma's hand, even as he closed his eyes.

"Stay for a little longer. Please?" he mumbled sleepily.

A hand touched his hair gently. "Of course."

Knowing that he wasn't alone again, he slipped off and escaped the last of his pain. It was probably their presence that kept his nightmares at bay.

* * *

By the time Kakashi and Iruka arrived that evening, he was dressed a pair of warm pajamas that Tenten had brought him, and was mostly pain free. Moving was still difficult though, and painfully slow. Besides his back injury, he had an impressive array of bruising covering his body, the worst being on his left hip and some bruised ribs.

Still, after a series of scans and tests had proved that he wasn't suffering from some horrible internal injury, the medical staff had concluded that he had been rather lucky to escape such a serious fall with so little injury.

His back could have been a lot worse. He could have cracked his skull open instead of having a mild concussion (the splitting headache had had the first day hadn't felt mild though) and he could have broken any number of bones.

He fell asleep again on the car ride home (that was starting to get annoying too) and he sleepily complied with Kakashi and Iruka's quiet requests as they got him out the car. He mumbled a hello to everyone in the common room, barely noticing how quiet they were as they watched Kakashi carry him to his bedroom.

After that, he was wrapped in his blankets and lying on his stomach, warm and safe and glad to be home again.

* * *

The next week passed in a bit of a blur for Naruto. He spent a lot of his time in his room sleeping. Whether that was due to his medications or the fact that he was still recovering from his injuries, he didn't know.

Sometimes, someone would help him out into the common room so he could spend some time with everyone in the evenings. He'd last maybe an hour or two before he fell asleep or succumbed to the pain in his back and had to be taken back to his room. His appetite was practically non-existent, and his legs started to ache from lack of exercise. He was an active person, and he hated being cooped up inside for so long. There was only so much entertainment he could get out of his books and the television. The others spent time with him, talking to him and keeping him entertained.

But the weather was miserable, the rains coming down steadily, and it made for a rather depressing atmosphere. He also didn't see much of Sasuke either, and he missed the dark haired man intensely.

By the second week though, the pain and stiffness in his back had lessened somewhat. He found he could walk short distances without much aid and he could move around a little easier. He was still cautious and slow, not wanting to injure himself further.

After all, Raidou was working his butt off for Naruto's benefit and he'd be damned if he let that go to waste.

He spent his time shuffling around the living quarters in the morning and resting for the remainder of the day. The doctors had said that gentle exercise would help, and sure enough, he felt himself becoming a little stronger and more alert each day.

Despite his growing independence, his friends kept a close eye on him, insisting that he didn't do too much or walk too far. Naruto was a little bothered by all the attention, but he tried not to let it show too much. The very fact that he had so many people watching out for him was enough to keep his mouth in check.

On the Thursday of the second week, he felt ready to take it to the next level. It was mid afternoon, and the place was quiet as it usually was at that time. The rains had finally stopped and Naruto managed to slip his caretakers. He shuffled slowly but steadily towards the stables, keeping one hand on a wall or handy prop to keep himself steady. There was a mild ache in his back that warned him against going too far, but Ani's stable was so close.

With a triumphant grin, he clung to the door of Ani's stable, elated with his progress.

"Hey there, boy," he smiled at Ani, who had almost fully recovered from his own accident.

Once more, the young horse was napping in the warmth and dryness of his stable, and Naruto was very much inclined to join him. Quietly sliding the bolt of his stable back, he stepped inside and closed it after himself.

Lowering himself to the floor was tricky, but he managed it without much pain, and then he was leaning against one of his favorite animals in the world. Breathing in the familiar scent of clean horse and saw dust, Naruto closed his eyes and pressed his face into Ani's mane. The white horse snuffled at his leg and nuzzled him gently before closing his eyes once more.

Movement at the corner of his vision had Naruto opening his eyes fully. Chance was wriggling through a gap in the bottom of Ani's stable, and he smiled as he watched the puppy ramble towards him through piles of sawdust.

Chance had almost doubled in size since he had taken the pup in. He was healthy and happy and playful, everything a puppy should be. And he loved Naruto with all his heart. He loved everyone in the stables, but he always preferred Naruto's company to anyone else's. He had shown a particular fondness for Sasuke as well, and secretly, Naruto considered Sasuke to be his owner as well as himself.

He pulled the puppy onto his lap and scratched behind his ears. Chance yawned mightily and curled up, sprawled on Naruto's lap.

Naruto settled himself more comfortably against Ani's side and closed his eyes, rather tired from his first adventure into the world again.

He'd just rest his eyes for a minute before he went back inside.....

* * *

"Naruto, wake up," someone said quietly, shaking him gently.

He opened his eyes groggily and focused on Sasuke's smiling face.

"Sasuke?" he frowned, looking around. "Where'm I?"

"You mean you don't remember coming all the way out here to Ani's stable?" Sasuke was still smiling at him, his eyes alive with amusement.

The heat at his back was Ani, he realized, and Chance was squirming in his lap. It had grown dark outside once more; the stable lights were on and he could hear the sounds of the horses settling down for the night.

"You've given Kakashi and Genma quite the scare disappearing like that," Sasuke continued, he was squatting in front of Naruto with a hand resting warm on Naruto's leg. "And I find you curled up here. I should have known."

Naruto smiled sleepily at his lover and held out his hand. Sasuke took it and raised it to his mouth for a gentle kiss.

"If you were so tired you should have gone back to bed. Did you make it out here all by yourself?"

He nodded.

"I wanted to see Ani," he frowned though, taking in Sasuke's riding pants and boots. "What are you doing down here?"

"I just finished exercising Taira for the evening. C'mon. I think I should get you back inside. Think you can walk or do you want me to carry you?"

"I can walk," Naruto insisted as he lifted Chance off of his lap. The puppy leapt at Sasuke and tried to attack his leg. The Uchiha leaned down and gently pushed him away before slipping an arm around Naruto's waist and helping him to stand.

Ani surged to him feet behind them and shook himself off as Naruto closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Sasuke's warm, strong chest.

His back was aching strongly, reminding him that he hadn't taken his meds that afternoon. Sasuke kept and arm around his waist and raising a hand to cup the back of his neck.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, his voice rumbling pleasantly through his chest under Naruto's ear.

"Just tired," he murmured in reply, lifting his head and smiling at Sasuke.

The Uchiha ducked his head and kissed Naruto lingeringly, and Naruto sighed, having missed the taste and feel of him. Sasuke nipped at his lower lip gently before pulling away and resting his forehead against Naruto's.

"I missed you. Sorry I haven't been around much. Itachi and I were called to the city for some family business."

Naruto smiled and kissed him chastely.

"It's okay. I'm not your keeper or some obligation you need to attend to everyday," he told him quietly. "I'm just glad to see you.

Sasuke stared at him searchingly for a long minute, before turning them towards the stable door.

"Let's get you back to your room before Kakashi starts organizing search parties."

As he'd expected, he got a lectured from Kakashi (or as much of one as the man was capable of giving) before Sasuke settled him in his room. Kakashi would be back in an hour to help get him up to the house for dinner, which gave them some alone time for a bit.

As usual, seeing Sasuke in his room did funny things to Naruto's stomach. He was settled on his bed and his blankets over his lap and a cup of tea on his bedside table.

Sasuke was once again wandering around him room, touching things carefully as if he were reacquainting himself with the place. He wandered past the bookcase, and over to his dresser, where Naruto had finally gotten the courage to place a picture of his mother and father that he'd found in storage.

Most of the boxes they had found were pushed away into Naruto's cupboard, where he'd sort through them completely when he had enough courage and strength to do so.

The truck...Kakashi had allowed him to keep it with the others behind the stables. It would need some work, he knew that, but he hadn't the time to do that either. He would though.

He'd thought about selling the thing, but he couldn't bear to part with a vehicle that his father had treasured as if it had been a part of their small and fractured family. And it had been. Naruto had grown up riding in the passenger seat of that truck, and even if he'd been able to find the courage to get rid of it, he didn't want to. It was one of the relics left behind from his family, and parting with it seemed unbearable.

But he had been able to put up a few more pictures of his family, and one of those was a picture of himself sitting on the hood of that pick up truck, and his father leaning against it next to where he was perched. They'd both been beaming proudly in that photo, laughing at something that Naruto couldn't remember.

Sasuke paused there, and smiled when he looked at it. He reached out and touched the face of his younger self in that photo.

"I'm glad you've put these up," Sasuke told him at last.

Naruto smiled at him as he turned around. "I'm glad you went with me. Thank you again."

"I can only hope it was of some benefit to you Naruto," Sasuke replied, returning to his bed to sit facing him.

Naruto looked down at his lap.

"I think it was. I mean, it wasn't pleasant at all...seeing all his things like that," he paused, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "But I think I needed to. It doesn't make it any easier, but....it helped remind me of who he was and that he wouldn't want me to be like this. He would want me to move on and be happy."

"And are you happy?" Sasuke asked slowly.

Naruto looked up at him.

"I think I'm finally getting there."

_And it's all thanks to you_, he added silently.

TBC

* * *

Author's Note: As you are all no doubt aware, I abandoned this story for quite some time. There is no excuse for that besides the fact that I am by nature rather fickle, and my interest tends to jump from fandom to fandom.

However, my interest in this particular fandom has re-ignited, and I have returned in hopes of finishing my stories.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. My writing skills may be a little rusty, so I hope you can forgive any mistakes and point them out to me! Please feel free to leave comments, constructive criticism and any thoughts you may have on this story. They are always welcome!!

And also, please watch out for updates regarding my other story "A Brief Alliance" as this is also on its way.

Thanks again for your patience, and I hope you review to let me know what you think!


	29. True Love Leaves No Traces

**Disclaimer: **_The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful own. I'm just playing with them for a bit._

**Warnings**: _Yaoi, some occasional swearing, angst and other things that may offend._

**Author's Note: **_I have no excuse for this being late besides pure laziness. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you thing. If you need anything explained or clarified, either review or send me a message and I'll do my best to help you._

_

* * *

  
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**Chapter 27 **: _True Love Leaves No Traces_

_Maybe I'm still hurting  
I can't turn the other cheek  
But you know that I still love you  
It's just that I can't speak  
I looked for you in everyone  
And they called me on that too  
I lived alone but I was only  
Coming back to you _

Coming Back to You by Leonard Cohen

X X X X X X X X X X X

"If you keep up this sleeping habit of yours people will start to think you're lazy."

A gentle kiss was pressed to his neck and Naruto opened sleep heavy eyes to smile at Sasuke leaning over him.

"Mah no one would believe you," he replied, burying his fingers in Sasuke's inky locks, rejoicing in the very fact that he _could _do such a thing.

"I could make them believe me," Sasuke murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "It's getting late. Shouldn't you be heading back now? They'll be wondering where you are."

"They already think I'm asleep in bed. No one will go into my room," Naruto said, letting his eyes drift close again.

He'd fallen asleep on Sasuke's couch again, an open book abandoned at his side. It had become a routine of theirs in the evenings; Sasuke would paint or play the piano, and Naruto would read. They were simply indulging in their new found freedom to be themselves around each other. No barriers, no walls, no need to save face in front of others.

It was a new experience for Naruto, and it hadn't been easy to do. Letting someone past his barricades had been almost as if he were betraying himself and the protections he'd built to protect himself. It had stung like betrayal too at first.

While Sasuke could be incredibly impatient with himself as well as others, the same principle didn't seem to apply to Naruto. He'd simply stood back and allowed Naruto to come to terms with the new grounds of their relationship. There had been no words, because he seemed to recognize that Naruto wasn't a child who needed protecting, coddling or coaxing along.

He had managed to shield himself from a world of hurts for many years, and Sasuke seemed to know that if Naruto was going to relax and let him in, then it would be on his terms and in his own time.

So the quiet they spun around themselves in the evenings was never strained or tense. They did their own thing, but they did it together. They created a sanctuary for themselves in Sasuke's room, the quiet solitude they created for themselves a healing balm for the last couple of weeks that Naruto had spent recuperating.

It had been quite an exercise in patience for him. He'd _wanted _to get out there, and do what he loved but his own body had become his limitation. While he was ready to carry on with his life, his body let him down in being slow to heal. It had been hard, coping with the back spasms and shooting pains.

If it wasn't for the medications, and the unobtrusive care of Iruka (and secretly Sasuke) Naruto wasn't sure what he would have done. He had regained much of his range of movement, and apart from the odd twinge and ache that warned him he was approaching his limit, he was mostly healed.

Tomorrow, Kakashi had organized for his first ride after the accident. Both he and Raidou would be watching, but Sasuke had also insisted on being present. Naruto wasn't worried about it. He knew his own capabilities well enough; it was Kakashi who wasn't convinced he would call it a day when his body grew tired.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Sasuke asked, as if reading his mind.

It was startling sometimes, how in touch they could be. It wasn't the first time Sasuke had caught him off guard and it wouldn't be the last.

"Not really," he replied honestly. "I know I'm ready to ride again. Kakashi is more nervous than I am."

"A lot of people would be too shaken to ride again after a fall like that," Sasuke commented, sitting up.

He trailed his fingers down Naruto's arm and picked up his hand, entwining their fingers thoughtfully.

"I've fallen before and I'll fall again no doubt," Naruto said with a rueful smile, sitting up carefully.

If he wasn't wary about it, sudden movement sometimes made his back hurt, especially after sleeping.

Sasuke was watching him move closely, as if assessing him for any signs of pain or restricted movement. Naruto hide his smile, the closely guarded concern he saw in Sasuke's eyes making his chest go warm and tight.

"Hm," was his only response though.

Naruto leaned forward and rested his forehead against the curve of Sasuke's shoulder. It had been a long time since he had had any doubts about the strange relationship between him and Sasuke. He couldn't even bring himself to feel that bad about lying to Sakura any more, and he wondered if that made him a bad person.

They hadn't put a name or label to the relationship they shared. No words were spoken about how they felt or commitment to the other and secretly, Naruto thought that they didn't need to. He knew that Sasuke cared about him, maybe even loved him a little and that was enough for him.

Sasuke made him feel like he was truly treasured, like he belonged to someone, and if anyone had asked him a year or so ago if belonging to someone like a possession was something he'd envisioned for himself, he would have run as far and as fast as he could.

He didn't see it like that though. His heart belonged to Sasuke. It was as simple as that and for him at least, there would be no going back.

He hoped that he provided some relief from Sasuke's own boundaries and commitments and that he found something of whatever it was he was looking for in him. He might not be all that Sasuke needed, but he was willing at least to try to be.

Of course, he had no idea of what Sasuke's goals or dreams were. They didn't talk about that kind of thing either. That was too dangerous, almost as if they would be able to share their futures.

Naruto wasn't naive; he knew that one false step or word could end this thing between them. He wasn't stupid enough to throw it all away without thinking about his every action and word before he said them.

A hand came up and buried itself in his hair.

"You're thinking too hard again." Sasuke said pressing a kiss to his hair before getting up and moving to his piano. He stood for a moment, fingers brushing against the polished wood before sitting down and resting his hands lightly on the keys.

Naruto turned to face him, crossing his legs and watching as Sasuke stroked the keys for a moment before pressing down on an elaborate chord. This was another thing he loved about Sasuke.

The man was as drawn to music as Naruto was drawn to horses. Some of it seemed unconscious, like it called to him in a way that no one else could see. But when he played, his music came alive.

Sasuke could paint pictures with the way he played music, every exquisite note hanging in the air and spinning stories that had Naruto enchanted from the first note. Sasuke lost himself in his music, zoning out everyone and everything around him so that he was focused solely on what he was playing. Sometimes it seemed as if he was in some sort of trance, the distant look on his face betraying the depth of his thoughts as he played.

The melody tonight was slow, and somewhat haunting but every note was perfect, and inspired a sense of inner peace within as he watched Sasuke's hand flow every the keys, grace in every line of his body as he played.

The feeling in his chest that overcame him whenever he watched Sasuke play was like no other. Sometimes he felt as if his heart wanted to explode out of his chest as he watched Sasuke in the warm light. More than anything though, he wanted those hands on him, showing him the grace and beauty they displayed for the world to see.

Like so many things about him, Sasuke's music and his art were fine examples of an artist's soul. Sometimes Naruto thought that Sasuke's creativity, which was the very heart of his being, had often been smothered by his responsibilities and the duties which his parents expected from him. Sasuke's obsessions were not things that benefited his lifestyle, at least, that was what Naruto thought was Sasuke's father's opinion.

Sasuke was, to put it shortly, a dreamer. Though not many would guess that, from his appearance and demeanor, but it had become apparent to Naruto. All you had to do was look around his rooms, and find the scraps of paper with rough sketches and the quickly scrawled patterns in the borders of magazines, the snatches of melodies and music adorning any available space and the rough portraits on any available surface to tell that art was something that came to him as naturally as breathing.

Naruto could relate very well to Sasuke's preoccupation with art and music, for it was the same way he felt about his own love of horses and reading and it only made him love Sasuke all the more.

Loving Sasuke was like flying, and watching him pour out his soul through his music was almost enough to give his heart wings to sour.

Standing up quietly, he went and stood beside the bench, watching Sasuke's hands with fascination. When Sasuke nodded at the bench beside him as he played, Naruto sat down and looked at all the sheet music that littered the top of the piano. It was all so intricate and complicated that it almost made his head spin. Sasuke was truly a genius at music, he had heard it said before, and looking at the tiny little notes crammed onto all the music, Naruto could believe it very easily.

But Sasuke didn't seem to be following any sheet music. Naruto listened raptly as he played, letting the music take over his mind and make him forget all the little things that were plaguing his mind.

"My mother first taught me how to play," Sasuke said suddenly, his hands not skipping a beat on the keys. "She has always loved music and had played since she was a little girl. When I was a kid, I remember playing on the floor with my toys while she played her piano. It made my father furious when he found out she was teaching me, but she never stopped."

It made sense that Sasuke loved music so much then, and Naruto listened in interest. It wasn't often that Sasuke talked to Naruto about his family, but when he did he always managed to surprise Naruto with what he revealed.

"Of course, when she realized that I had an aptitude for music, she didn't hesitate to get me one of the best tutors in the country. I think it was then that my father gave up on trying to get her to stop teaching me."

"You play beautifully. I love listening to you."

Sasuke stopped playing at that, and he could help but feel disappointed.

"It's just a hobby, nothing more," he said abruptly.

"You couldn't tell from listening to you," Naruto pointed out quietly. "Have you ever wanted to play professionally?"

"There are a lot of things I've wanted to do, Naruto," Sasuke replied, turning his face away to look out the doors leading the balcony. "It doesn't mean anything."

Naruto reached out and touched his hand where it still rested on the keys of the piano.

"It means something to you," he said simply. "You've encouraged me to do things that I've been afraid to do. I think you should do something that you love. Even if it means going against someone else's wishes."

Sasuke turned to look down at him, a small smile on his face.

"When did you get so wise?"

Naruto returned his smile. "I had a very good teacher."

He reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair out of Sasuke's face. Sasuke contemplated him for a moment longer, before leaning down and kissing him intently, pulling Naruto closer. He returned the kiss wholeheartedly, kissing him back with everything that he felt for Sasuke within his heart. He wrapped his arms around him, soaking in the warmth of his body, the softness of his hair.

After a moment, Sasuke broke the kiss and stood up, pulling Naruto with him and leading him silently towards the bedroom. He followed without protest, his body already humming with Sasuke's touch.

Sasuke created another type of music every time he touched Naruto, setting his body aflame, vibrating with need and resonating with every stroke of his hands.

When Sasuke gently pushed him down on the bed, Naruto when willingly, pulling Sasuke down with him and greedily helping his shed his shirt.

For awhile all they did was kiss, every touch and taste building the urgency he felt within up to a crescendo that had him falling apart at the seams and desperate for all of Sasuke.

The Uchiha seemed to sense his need, because he efficiently stripped them both of clothing. Instead of doing anything further though, he lay down on his side facing Naruto, looking into his eyes. Naruto couldn't help but touch, reaching out and laying a hand on Sasuke's arm.

"Sasuke?" he asked tentatively.

"I want to know that you're certain about this Naruto. I'm know you've wondered about how experienced I am, and I'm not going to lie to you," Sasuke said with deadly seriousness. "I've been with several partners. I'm not green, and I'm not a virgin. I know that this is a big deal for you. So I don't want to keep doing this if it's not something you want. If you have doubts, then say so. You'll get no recrimination from me."

Naruto smiled, yet again touched by just how concerned Sasuke was for his well being. He reached out and lay his hand along the side of Sasuke's face, gently stroking the satiny soft porceleine skin.

"I appreciate that, Sasuke," he said truthfully. "And thank you for being so honest with me. I'll not belittle your concerns by lying to you either. If there was anyone I wanted to be my first, it would be you. I trust you. And I want you to show me....show me what you know."

After several long moments, Sasuke smiled and moved forward to kiss him. He tucked his body alongside Naruto's, pulling him into an intimate embrace that had him gasping as desire ignited afresh, reminding him that they had halted.

"Oh god..."

Sasuke smiled against his throat.

"I can show you the world..." he whispered.

Naruto let himself be rolled onto his back, and could do nothing but lie helpless as Sasuke worshipped his body with those perfect lips of his, trailing down his chest and stomach, littering his hips and lower belly with sucking kisses.

Naruto finally thought he knew something of heaven.

* * *

"Naruto, hurry up with that extra hay!" Kakashi called across the yard from where the imposing horse transport was parked.

He hauled the last hay bale towards the trailer and hefted it into the storage unit with the others. Genma patted him on the back and he stepped away to help him close up.

It was early evening and every light in the stable was blazing. It was way past dinner time, but the stable yard was in chaos.

It was finally time to be leaving on the long journey across the country to attend the show. The horses were about to be loaded, the equipment was fully loaded and ready to go, and Naruto was practically buzzing with anticipation. Kakashi was in a tense mood, and everyone was getting in everyone else's way to make sure they followed his orders to the letter.

There would be two horse transports going by road, two flatbed trucks carrying the riders and their equipment following.

Sasuke, Ino and Neji would be traveling by plane the following day, but flying made Naruto nervous so he was glad that they would be traveling by car. The only thing he was worried about was spending twelve hours in the same car as Sakura and Kakashi.

Kiba, Raidou and Genma would be in the other truck, the one that had belonged to his father. When Kakashi had asked if they could use it, he had readily agreed. There was no point in keeping it if it wasn't going to be used, he reasoned, attempting to ease Kakashi's reluctance. It was probably a good thing Kiba and Sakura weren't traveling in the same car though. The thought alone was enough to send a bolt of sheer terror down Naruto's spine.

Naruto watched as the first horses were loaded. Most of the horses owned by Uchiha's were very well trained, and had no problem with transportation. Taira and Sora were different though, both being high strung creatures and both being very strong willed. Sasuke had instructed that Naruto be the one to load those two himself, and Naruto wasn't looking forward to that particular battle.

As if reading his mind, Kakashi signaled to him.

"Okay Naruto. Bring Taira on out and get him loaded on this truck. Sora will go on the other," he called out.

With a nod and a deep breath, Naruto fetched Taira. The large horse obviously sensed something was up from all the activity and didn't make it easy on him. He danced sideways as he led him into the yard, throwing his head up and scenting the air. Naruto ignored his friends, who stood nearby ready to help if he needed it.

Taira was pulling strongly, fighting to go forward faster, and Naruto held him in check with a little difficulty. They got to the ramp and he stopped dead, refusing to go any further. Naruto urged him forward, containing his glee when Taira stepped onto the platform.

"That's it boy," he murmured. "You're doing well."

He subtly signaled for Kakashi to stay back, letting Taira take his time. Eventually, the big horse rushed up the rest of the ramp with an angry squeal and flattened ears. Naruto and Genma quickly swung the barrier shut.

"Dodged a bullet there, kiddo," Genma winked across at him. "I'll get the ramp. You go and get your monster onto the other truck."

With a quick smile, Naruto left him and headed off for Sora. The big mare was nervous and sweating already, and Naruto was suddenly glad they had decided to head off a few days early, to let the horses settle down after the long trip so they could be at their best for the show.

"Okay girl," he said to her, patting her neck as he untied her lead rope. "We have a lot of people expecting great things out of us. Lets show them how amazing you are."

He led her out into the courtyard and watched out of the corner of his eye and her ears immediately flattened at the sight of all the people and the trailers.

He'd been right about it being a battle. She fought him every step of the way fight and pulling and dancing away from the trailer ramp. Eventually, they'd had to drive her up the ramp, forming a line of people to push her forward and throwing a rope around her rump to encourage her forward.

He patter he as they closed the barrier and felt guilty when she threw him an accusing look.

"We'll do better next time, eh?"

Naruto hurried down the ramp and wiped his sweaty forehead on his arm.

"Good work Naruto," Kakashi patted him on the shoulder. "Go grab a quick shower. We're leaving in fifteen."

Naruto hurried to do as he said, changing into warm, comfortable clothes and tugging on a heavy jacket. He paused for a second on his way out of the bathroom, looking in the mirror. He had changed so much from the little kid he had used to be, he thought to himself.

_If only you could see me now, dad_, Naruto thought. _I wonder if you'd be proud of the man I've become_.

He hoped he would be. He had an opportunity to show the world just how well his dad had taught him, away from all the rules and regulations of the riding schools and institutions. He would show them just how great his dad had been, by being a living remnant of the man Uzamaki Arashi had been.

He could hear Genma called his name, so he grabbed his bag and hurried out of the quarters. Tenten hugged him quickly in the courtyard.

"Good luck," she whispered in his ear. "And be careful out there."

She glanced at Sakura as they separated and he got her hidden meaning. Don't do anything to endanger his relationship with Sasuke. Don't give away the secret.

Shikamaru slapped him on the shoulder.

"Break a leg, man."

Naruto smiled at him as he climbed in the backseat of the truck. The horse trailers had left five minutes ago, and Naruto settled into the backseat of the cab, listening with half an ear and Kakashi ran over their checklists with Sakura as they pulled out of the stable yard.

Naruto looked out the window to the bright lights of the stable yard as they slowly disappeared and wondered just when his life had changed so drastically without him really noticing.

* * *

_"This is stupid," Naruto huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at his reflection in the window glass. _

_He could see his father's reflection glance at him, but refused to turn around on principle. _

_"What's stupid?"_

_"Why do we have to move again? I liked it there!" _

_Naruto knew he was whining, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. He had made many friends in his last school, and he had liked the people his dad had worked with. It had been a good town, the kind of place where everyone knew everyone, and newcomers were always welcomed with curiosity and friendliness. His dad being who he was, had fit right in with the locals, and had been popular at the stables._

_He didn't know what it was that made his father want to keep moving, and he had never questioned it. Naruto always followed with hardly a complaint, because his dad always lived life to the fullest, taking each day in stride with a confidence that kept him in awe, and he never failed to show him something new about the world wherever they went._

_Naruto had inherited his wandering feet and free spirit, but there were times when he'd made new friends that he'd grown attached to and he loathed to leave so soon._

_"I have another job lined up Naruto. It's a good place. You'll like it there," he father said with a smile. _

_"I liked it where we were," Naruto grumbled, but he subsided into silence at that. _

_He often wondered if his dad had been the same when his mother had died. If he felt the need to travel to far away places and see new things. Or had he and his mother been enough to keep him in the same place?_

_People often said that Naruto was a mirror image of the person his father was, and that had always made him proud, but there was something great about his father that he could never live up to. _

_There was nothing quite like the sound of the flatbed trucks wheels on the road, of the wind roaring through the partially opened windows. The radio was playing quietly in the background, and even though he was reluctant to leave his friends, he couldn't image a life any different. It was all he knew, and all he wanted to know. _

_"I know, kiddo. And I'm sorry about that. How bout I make it up to you?"_

_Naruto contemplated this. _

_"How?"_

_"Well, I was thinking when we get to motel we hire a couple of movies, pick up some junk food and crash in front of the television. You pick the food _and _the movies. How does that sound? Deal?"_

_Naruto turned to him._

_"Deal!"_

_His father reached out and ruffled his hair, keeping his eyes on the road as he did so. _

_"I know we move around a lot, Naruto, and I hope that you'll tell me if it ever gets too much. It's not really fair of me to..."_

_"It's okay dad!" Naruto chirped, squirming in his seat with excitement at the thought of movies and junk food. "I really don't mind. I like it!"_

_"Really?" His father seemed surprised._

_"Yup! Besides, I like meeting new people and riding all the different horses."_

_"We do meet a lot of interesting people, don't we?" his father grinned. _

* * *

He blinked his eyes open slowly, staring sleepily at his reflection in the window. It was dark outside, the countryside whirring by in a dark blur.

An old ache had rekindled within his chest, and he felt a pang of longing for his father, who had been the center of his childhood and his very own personal hero.

But no matter how much he wished for it, those days were long gone and buried, and he had to make do with what he could build for himself. Naruto thought he had done pretty well for himself. He had people who cared for him, he had a place to call home where he felt safe and sheltered, and he had someone he loved with all of his heart.

But he had no dreams for the future. Not anymore at least. His life had no direction, and he often caught himself wondering where his life would lead him. Everyone he knew had dreams and aspirations. He had heard it said that they kept people moving forward and that they gave a person something to live for.

Naruto had none of that, and he wanted _something_, a dream he could call his own.

"Hey Naruto," Sakura twisted in her seat. "You awake at last?"

He sat up slight from his slumped position.

Sakura was illuminated by the light from the dashboard, and her cherry blossom hair seemed almost purple in the dull light. Her eyes sparkled though, and she was smiling at him. He could see the white of Kakashi's hair in the driver's seat before him.

"Yeah," he murmured, sitting up fully and wincing at the ache in his back.

He hadn't mentioned his sore back to Kakashi and he wouldn't. Nothing would stop him from riding in the competition, not when he had come so far.

"We're stopping for food in a minute. Any suggestions?" Kakashi asked, glancing at him in the rearview.

Naruto shook his head and looked out the window once more.

"Mmmmm, we've been driving for _hours _already," Sakure stretched. "And we're only half way there!"

"Be glad I don't make you drive...."

Naruto tuned out their conversation and looked at his reflection in the window. The reserved and solemn face looking back at him looked even more like his father had, minus the animated features and the laughter that had always been present in his father's eyes.

It was a painful reminder of the person he had lost every time he looked in the mirror, and one that often made his hate himself when it caught him off guard every now and then.

"There they are!" Sakura pointed out the window, to where the other truck was parked in the parking lot of the small gas station and cafe where they had stopped.

Kakashi pulled up beside them and turned the engine off. Sakura was out the door the moment they'd stopped, but Kakashi hesitated, looking at him in the rearview.

"You okay?" he asked. "You've been quiet."

Naruto shrugged and gave him a half-hearted smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Bad dream then?"

Naruto looked out the window, the where the others had gathered in a group and were standing around, stretching and talking.

"You have things in your past that you'd rather forget, right?" he asked Kakashi quietly.

"Doesn't everyone?" the pale man replied quietly.

Of course, Kakashi had been in the armed forces, and he had probably seen horrible things that would break many people. But everyone's pasts were different, and no one was haunted by the same ghosts. Everyone had their own demons to battle, and their own private wars to fight.

"How did you get to where you are now? With all of this?" Naruto asked. "How can you act as if it doesn't bother you?"

Kakashi was quiet for a long moment, looking off in the opposite direction to where Naruto was.

"You learn to forgive."

Naruto looked at him and frowned in confusion.

"The past you may not be someone who you are proud of. You may have done things that you regret and seen things you'd rather forget, but you learn how to not be so hard on yourself, given enough time."

"And then you can forget, right?"

"No. All you can do is forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. If you can do that, you can become a stronger person and you appreciate what you do have." Kakashi paused for a minute. "We're not perfect, Naruto. We're only human, and everyone makes mistakes. Whatever it is that you're working through at the moment, it'll get easier. It won't hurt any less, but it'll get easier to live your life. You just have to be patient. It won't happen overnight."

Naruto nodded.

"I don't know how you did it, but...I think I'm ready to try," Naruto admitted, keeping his head lowered before he shoved the door open and got out.

Kakashit followed and clapped a hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards where the other's were waiting.

The meal passed in a blur to Naruto, his mind filled with half formed thoughts and notions, memories interspersed with Kakashi's words.

Towards the end of the meal when the conversations around him were starting to give him a headache, he stood up and excused himself, wanting to stretch his legs and ease his aching back.

He walked the parking lot a couple of times, the cold and dark wrapping around him like a long lost lover. There was no moon and the stars were brighter than ever. It was late, and quiet, the only noise the occasional passing car on the highway.

After awhile he sat on the curb in the furthers corner of the parking lot, under a streetlight. From his small bag, he pulled a battered leather journal and rested his hand on it. The pages were worn from years of use, the edges frayed. It was stuffed full of loose bits of paper and pages that had fallen out. The whole thing was held together by an old rubber band around the middle.

The journal was his fathers. He had found it in one of the boxes from the stuff in storage and hadn't yet had the courage to open it, not wanting to be privy to the innermost thoughts and feelings of his father.

Taking a deep breath, he carefully slid the band off and opened to front cover. Sitting between the cover and the first page were several scraps of paper with numbers and addresses and random, meaningless words and dates scrawled across them in his father's familiar hand.

Idly leafing through these, he stopped when he came across several worn photos. Picking up the first one, he stared at it.

Naruto hadn't seen it before, but the edges were worn and it was slightly faded, betraying how often it had been handled.

His father was lounging in an arm chair, his tall body sprawled out all over the place. In the crook of one arm, he cradled a sleeping baby Naruto. His father was smiling at someone outside of the shot, and Naruto traced the line of his smile.

He was so focused on the photo that when Kiba spoke, he jumped in fright.

"Is that your father? Kiba asked.

The other man sat down beside him, looking at the photo. Willing his heart to stop pounding from the surprised, Naruto nodded silently.

"You look alike," Kiba said with a nod.

"Are they finished in there?" Naruto asked, looking over at the bright lights of the cafe.

Kiba shook his head and rested his crossed arms on his upraised knees and propped his chin on them.

"Nah. Sakura booted me out to check on you."

"Sounds about right."

"So your father...." Kiba said slowly. "Where is he?"

Naruto swallowed and looked back down at the photo in his hands. He missed his father's face, and he missed knowing that he was loved more than anything.

"He died. A long time ago now," he answered slowly.

Kiba nodded. "I thought so. You never speak about your family, and you never go anywhere on holidays."

Naruto nodded, not surprised by Kiba's insight. The man's brash and brazen manner often hid his sharp intelligence, and many people thought he was stupid and thick. Naruto knew better, and often found amusement in Kiba's slightly skewed way of viewing the world.

"My dad died too." Kiba straightened a little and reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

He took out a small picture and handed it to Naruto.

He studied the black haired and dark eyed man in the worn photo.

"You don't look anything like him," Naruto commented as he handed it back.

Kiba grinned at him.

"Nah. Me and my sister looked like our mum. My dad was in the armed forces. He died serving his country. But it's okay. He died fighting for what he believed in and that's pretty cool."

"It is," Naruto agreed.

"How bout your dad?" Kiba looked over his shoulder at him and Naruto felt compelled to tell him the truth.

He looked down at the photo once more, before replacing it and closing the journal.

"He died saving my life."

TBC


	30. Broken Vow

**Disclaimer**: _Naruto and its concepts and characters belong to their rightful owner. I'm just messing around for a little while._

**Warnings:** _Yaoi (male x male), swearing, angst and some violence. Although really, if you've gotten this far into the story and still haven't been turned off it, I don't image you will be by anything in this chapter._

**Author's Note:** _This was quite a tricky chapter to write, which is why it took so long to complete. We're nearing the end of this journey now but there should be around 5 more chapters left? (I say that because I haven't gotten anything actually written out yet.)_

_Just as a side note, I had someone point out to me that Naruto's dad's name is actually Minato and I feel the need to let you good folks know that when I started this story, no one knew what his dad's name was, so I made it up! (I honestly can't remember where I got the name from, but I liked it so it stuck). You may also be pleased to hear that I'm currently working on the soundtrack to this fic. I'm not sure whether or not I'm just going to post a list of the songs or put it on a file sharing site (I have no idea how to do this – I would appreciate some help though, so if you do know how to do this, please let me know!)_

_Onto the fic, and I hope you enjoy!_

_

* * *

  
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**Chapter 28**: _Broken Vow_

_Lord you just dropped me here by the side of this road_

_Out here's too cold and I don't want to walk it alone_

_I got a bottle of your blood inside me_

_And an old begger's prayer on the tip of my tongue_

Beggar's Pray by Emiliana Torrini

The Uchiha family sure knew how to look after their own, Naruto thought as he gazed around his hotel room in wonder.

Huge floor to ceiling windows adorned the three bedroom apartment he'd been given. The bedroom had double doors leading out into the main room, which was pure luxury. Huge couches and arm chairs, an ornate fireplace and a massive television set dominated the room. The bed was a king size double. The bathroom was three times the size of his room back home.

For a moment, Naruto stared at his surroundings in awe, before he managed to shake himself out of it.

It was very late; Kakashi had shaken him awake half an hour ago and informed him that they had arrived and that he should go upstairs and get some rest. He had sleepily protested, wanting to help settle the horses but Kakashi had been insistent.

With reluctance and sleepiness tugging at his bones, he had done as he was told. His friends were spread out between his own floor and the one below, but he didn't know if they had to share rooms or not. He couldn't imagine Sasuke giving him preferential treatment, especially when in such a large crowd.

"Hey Naruto!" Kiba burst into the room behind him. "Holy shit, your room's even bigger than mine!"

Kiba was practically bouncing with excess energy and excitement, and Naruto couldn't help but smile.

"Wow!" Sakura came in behind Kiba. "The Uchiha's sure know how to live in style."

"That's just what I was thinking," Naruto smiled at her, hefting his bag higher on his shoulder and taking it through to the bedroom.

He didn't mind them barging in as they had; when you lived with a lot of people, compromise was a necessity of life, and he had long since learned not to let it get to him.

Kiba bounded into the bedroom and threw himself onto the bed, flopping onto his back and stretching out his arms with an explosive sigh.

"Man, I hate long journeys! It feels so good to stretch out again."

"Idiot," Sakura marched into the room and kicked at Kiba's foot. "You have your own room. Why don't you go back there instead of messing up Naruto's?"

Kiba rolled onto his stomach and grinned at him. He finished putting his toiletries bag in the bathroom and stowed his luggage in the wardrobe.

"Naruto doesn't mind, right?"

He smiled at Kiba as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"Of course not."

"Well of course he wouldn't," Sakura huffed as she took a seat on the edge of his bed. "He's not the type."

Naruto was slightly uncomfortable with himself being the topic of discussion.

"Where are you guys staying?"

"I'm on the floor below you," Kiba announced, grinning at him.

"And I'm a couple of rooms down" Sakura put in. "So don't go making a lot of noise, Kiba, or you'll regret it."

"Pffft. As if," he scoffed. "I'm not afraid of you, woman."

Sakura slapped him over the head with a scowl. Naruto smiled at their antics and also sat down on the edge of his bed to take off his boots.

"You two should get some rest," he said. "It's a big few days ahead of us."

"You're probably right," Kiba groaned, rolling onto his side. "Man, I'm not looking forward to living in those stuck up princes' pockets for the next few days."

"Sasuke-sama's staying here?" Sakura perked up at that, and Naruto shifted uncomfortably where he sat.

He hated them talked about Sasuke as if they knew him, when all they saw was the face that Sasuke presented to the world. They had no idea what kind of person he was underneath it all, and he disliked people making judgments without knowing a person.

But he couldn't help but love Kiba and Sakura as well. They had both become a part of the support structure which had gotten him through the last couple of years, and he didn't think he would have been able to do that without them.

It was an uncomfortable position to be in, being tugged in both directions as he was, and while he was all too aware that it was his own doing, he could see no way to resolve the issue.

"Yeah, they are..." Kiba was frowning as he looked at Naruto. "Hey Naruto. What's that on your arm?"

Naruto froze. He'd forgotten that he'd only pulled on a short sleeved shirt when he'd dressed in a hurry earlier. He'd forgotten about the horrible scars on his wrists when he'd taken off his jacket.

He hurriedly hid them, but the damage had been done. Both Sakura and Kiba were staring at him, and Naruto couldn't bring himself to look them in the eye.

"Naruto..."Sakura whispered, and he swallowed convulsively as he looked away, out the darkened windows.

"It's nothing to worry about," he murmured, forcing the words out. "It was a long time ago now."

There was a long silence that made him more uncomfortable with each passing second. He opened his mouth to say something to break the horrible, gaping quiet that had come over them when Sakura pushed herself off the bed.

"Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm beat. I'm gonna hit the hay," she said with false cheer as she stretched.

Naruto couldn't help but feel relieved at the easy way she had offered him out and he offered her a shaky smile as thanks. She whacked Kiba once more before waving at them both and heading out the door.

Kiba was quiet behind him and Naruto was starting to wonder how he could get him to leave without offending his friend, but Kiba made it easy for him by rolling into a sitting position.

"Mah...I think Sakura's got the right idea for once," he yawned. "Guess I should hit the sack as well. It's been an interesting day."

"Hey, Kiba..."

"Hn?"

"You don't...I'm not that person anymore," Naruto said hesitantly. "I don't...I mean, I left all of that behind me a long time ago and I hope you don't...think less of me because of it."

He turned where he was sitting to see Kiba sitting on the other side of the bed, his head hanging as he thought about Naruto had said.

After a moment, he turned to look at Naruto over his shoulder, a smile on his face.

"The way I figure it, we've all got things in our past that we're not so proud of. I'm not going to judge you because you've had a hard time. Hell, I went off the rails myself for a little bit. If it wasn't for my mum and my sister putting me back in line I probably would have ended up in a juvenile detention centre or worse. So I'm not one to judge," Kiba told him before getting to his feet. "Get some rest, man. You look like you could use it."

He headed for the door at his usual, lazy pace with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. The warmth spreading in Naruto's chest from those simple words made his smile involuntarily.

"Thanks, Kiba."

"Yeah yeah," Kiba yawned, withdrawing a hand to wave at him.

Naruto listened to the main door of his rooms close before he flopped onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

He had the best friends.

* * *

Sora nudged him impatiently and Naruto grinned to himself as he got back to his task of grooming her. It was early evening, and the preparations for the show were almost completed. He was giving her a last thorough grooming for the show the next day.

Sora had never been more beautiful, of that he was sure. Her coat was as glossy as the page of a magazine and felt as fine as silk to touch. Her mane and tail were neatly trimmed, ready for braiding the next day and she had been polished and buffed along with all of her tack.

It had been a long day and he was pleasantly tired. Strangely, he was feeling rather elated and excited about the next day. The nerves hadn't hit him yet, and he wasn't looking forward to when they did, but he couldn't wait to show off just how far Sora had come since he'd first met her.

Not only that, but Sasuke would be arriving soon. He wanted to go and greet him, but he had decided to keep his distance for fear of someone getting suspicious.

He knew it was rather sappy but he had missed Sasuke. Naruto had grown used to seeing him every day, and his days never felt complete until he saw him.

"You're going to be great," he told her as he threw her cotton rug over her back. "Tomorrow we'll show all those people who said you weren't good enough just how great you really are."

She snorted and shook her head as she shifted impatiently under his hands.

"That's the spirit. We'll be fine, you wait and see," he continued, not sure if he was talking to himself or her. "We'll do it together, just you and me."

He finished buckling the straps that held the rug in place before moving to her head. Naruto caressed her soft coat, running his hands over her face. She had come to be the very embodiment of his dreams, and his future. He had great plans for her.

"We should get some rest if we're going to do well tomorrow, eh?"

He gave her one last pat and kissed her forehead before leaving her stall and bolting it closed. _She _would do fine tomorrow. It was himself he wasn't sure about.

As he passed Taira's stable, he stopped. The large, menacing horse moved over to him when he appeared, and Naruto smiled as he reached up to scratch behind his ears.

"You look after Sasuke, tomorrow, okay?" he whispered. "No funny stuff and no tricks. Keep him safe."

Making his way up to his room, Naruto felt the first stirrings of apprehension. His father had been an excellent showman, and he had competed in many competitions that Naruto had witnessed throughout his childhood. Uzamaki Arashi had carried himself with a confidence and ease that had been the envy of many and Naruto could only hope to live up to his reputation and make him proud.

It wasn't the first time he had felt daunted by his father's reputation. People expected things from him that he just wasn't sure he was capable of delivering.

But tomorrow would be different, he told himself as he rode the elevator up to his floor. Tomorrow he'd have the support of Sasuke and his friends, and he wasn't going to let them down or embarrass them if he could help it.

Tomorrow was another day, and he'd deal with it when it happened. With that thought firmly planted in his mind, he went to his room and went about his nightly ritual of getting ready for bed. It was too early to go to sleep, but there was a book waiting for him and his father's journal to peruse.

Having showered and brushed his teeth, Naruto settled back against the mountain of pillows on the bed and opened his father's battered book. He spent a few minutes looking at the photos that were stuck in randomly throughout the book before flipping idly through the pages.

His father's handwriting had always been hard to read, scrawled untidily across the pages as random and as fleeting as the thoughts that had preoccupied him.

As he read snippets of text, it became apparent that his dad had been as much of a dreamer as Naruto was. One particular entry caught his eye.

_June 29th_

_We're heading towards the next town, where a friend of Jiraiya's has a position open for me. Naruto doesn't seem to mind moving again, even though he made some good friends at his school. _

_It occurs to me that he is afflicted with the same condition of wandering feet as I am. I can't help but wonder if it would be better to settle down and build a home of our own for once. Maybe it's time to start planning that Horse Rehabilitation program I've been thinking about for awhile now._

Naruto blinked in surprise. His dad had never mentioned anything like that to him. But then, he had been a kid back then, and adults didn't tend to let kids know what they were planning unless it involved them somehow.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the ringing of the phone beside the bed. He frowned at it in confusion for a moment before picking it up.

"Hello?" he answered hesitantly.

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me," a familiar voice came over the line.

Naruto smiled to himself.

"I didn't think you wanted me bothering you as soon as you arrived," he replied. "How did you get this number anyway?"

"Please," Sasuke snorted. "This is me you're talking to, remember? They'd give me the password to the safe if I asked for it."

"Right," Naruto was still smiling goofily as he carefully closed his father's book.

"Besides, I wanted to talk to someone who's actually sane for a change. A whole day of listening to Ino's chattering is more than enough for me, and Neji isn't exactly a sparkling conversationalist."

"I'm not sure I'm much better," Naruto told him ruefully.

"Bullshit.," Sasuke scoffed. "What are you doing now?"

"I was just reading in bed."

"You're thinking too much again, aren't you?" Sasuke said shrewdly. There was a rustling sound in the background that sounded like pages turning.

"No," Naruto denied immediately.

"Liar. Come up to my room," Sasuke told him. "If you're going to brood you may as well do it with me."

"I'm not brooding," Naruto protested weakly.

"Well I will be if I don't talk to someone whose head isn't shoved up their ass. I'm three floors up in room 612. Think you can make it or do you want me to come get you?"

"I can make it," Naruto said quickly, not wanting anyone to see Sasuke at his door and assume the worst. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Good."

Sasuke promptly hung up on him, and Naruto couldn't help but smile to himself once more. Sasuke had an odd sort of charm about him that took people completely by surprise sometimes. He could probably charm the pants off just about anyone if he put his mind to it, but most of the time he kept this startling power of his under lock and key.

Still, he couldn't deny his eagerness to see Sasuke so he tucked his dad's journal into the table beside the bed before throwing back the covers. He was clad in soft, grey pajama pants and a loose white tank top but there was a chilly bite to the air so he slipped on his dressing gown and picked up his room key before slipping out into the deserted corridor and closing the door behind himself.

It wasn't hard to find Sasuke's room and he was there within minutes, knocking softly on the door.

Sasuke opened it after a minute and smiled at him, his eyes warm as Naruto stepped inside. The door was barely closed before he was pulled into a hug.

He relaxed instantly and closed his eyes as he slipped his arms around Sasuke's warm body and inhaled his familiar scent.

After a few long minutes Sasuke pulled back and ducked his head to press his mouth to Naruto's. A warm flush started and warmed his entire body within seconds and he parted his lips willingly to taste Sasuke and kissed him back.

The Uchiha drew back and pressed another kiss to his forehead before leading him over to his bed.

If anything Sasuke's rooms were even bigger and more extravagant than his own, though he really shouldn't have been surprised. Uchiha's never did anything by halves.

Sasuke pushed aside the mess of paper and folders scattered across the massive bed and collapsed onto it in a similar fashion to how Kiba had earlier. Naruto paused for a moment before joining him, lying down on the bed beside Sasuke and staring up at the ceiling.

"What's all this?" he asked absently as he shifted a few papers to make room.

"Paperwork my father wanted me to look over," Sasuke muttered, draping an arm over his eyes. "I swear, I need a holiday from my holiday already."

Naruto smiled as he shifted to get comfortable. He wouldn't know what it was like to go to university and study. School had been such a long time ago, and it had never really been of great importance to him, even before his father had died.

He had been too much of a day dreamer to do that well, and after his father had died he had kind of lost any ambition that he might have possessed. He hadn't much of an attention span in the first place, unless it was horses or reading.

Sasuke rolled over suddenly so he was leaning over Naruto resting on his elbows. Naruto tucked an arm behind his head and studied Sasuke's face, taking in his dark eyes, his creamy skin and the strong line of his jaw. Black hair framed his face in an inky cascade, and Naruto did his best to memorize everything about him, down to the calculating and thoughtful look in his dark eyes to the way his skin seemed incandescent in the soft lighting of the room.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Sasuke asked him.

Naruto shook his head. "Oddly enough, I'm not. Well, not yet anyway," he amended. "I'm sure I will be tomorrow."

"You don't need to be," Sasuke told him as he threaded his fingers into Naruto's hair. "You're going to do just fine."

"I guess we'll have to wait and see," Naruto replied, reluctant to raise Sasuke's hopes any higher.

"No," Sasuke's fingers tightened in his hair slightly, his tone stubborn. "You're the best rider I've ever met and you have no need to doubt your skills when you're better than just about everybody else."

"Sasuke, I don't want you to be disappointed when I don't do well," Naruto told him carefully. "I've never ridden in competition before. I have no idea what to expect, or how things are going to turn out..."

"I have faith in you," Sasuke interrupted, his voice softening slightly. "I really wish you didn't doubt yourself so much."

"I'm sorry," Naruto said simply.

"You don't need to be," Sasuke replied, sounding frustrated. "I know you, and I know you're going to do your best because that's what you always do. You could never disappoint me, Naruto."

Naruto smiled at him, though on the inside he had his doubts. He didn't want to look him in the eye when he the day came that he did disappoint him. He hated people expecting things of him, because in the end he always let them down some way or another.

"I know you have doubts," Sasuke continued as if he were reading Naruto's mind. "And one day I'm going to prove to you that there's really no need for your lack of self-confidence."

Naruto didn't know how much more of it he could take. He had never been good at talking about himself, or his feelings. He just seemed to be unable to properly vocalize the depth of his emotions about anything.

It was at times like that that he wished he was the carefree, confident and bold boy he had been in his childhood. But that boy was long gone and he knew he'd never see him again, no matter how much he strived to.

Instead of formulating a response, he leaned up and kissed Sasuke, closing his eyes against the bittersweet pang in his chest.

When Sasuke buried his other hand in Naruto's hair and opened his mouth to him, Naruto got that shivery, heated feeling in the pit of his belly.

The kiss ended slowly, and Sasuke rested his forehead against Naruto's.

"That's a nice distraction technique you've got there," he murmured and Naruto winced.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm more than willing to let myself be distracted," Sasuke said as he moved his lips down to Naruto's neck and pressed slow kisses to his skin there.

"Why don't you show me how else you can distract me?" Sasuke whispered, smiling against his skin.

Naruto couldn't help the smile that threatened as he pushed Sasuke onto his back and straddled him carefully. He ducked his head and pressed his face to his neck, feeling Sasuke's hands coming to rest on his hips.

Naruto paused to breathe in Sasuke's scent, an alluring mix of sandalwood and something spicy and earthy. He pressed a reverent kiss to the pale skin beneath him and felt the way Sasuke relaxed minutely beneath him.

Slowly he unbuttoned Sasuke's shirt and pushed it out of the way to reveal the broad, muscled expanse of his chest. He moved his mouth down to his collarbone as he ran his hands over the smooth skin, tracing the lines and ridges of muscle and feeling the goose bumps that raised on the flesh following his touch.

It was gratifying to experience the way Sasuke responded to his touch and to know that his own desires were returned.

He ran his fingers over one dusky nipple and felt Sasuke's breath hitch as he trailed feather light kisses down the middle of his chest.

One hand ran up his back to bury itself in Naruto's hair once more as he licked at the nipple slowly.

"How am I doing so far?" he asked, trying to hide his need for reassurance.

"Very well," Sasuke replied, his voice slightly roughened.

Naruto could feel the effect his actions were having pressed against his stomach, and he decided not to tease his lover. He had missed Sasuke, and he had missed being able to touch him.

It had taken a few long weeks for Sasuke to teach him that he was allowed to touch, as much as he wanted and whenever he liked. He had been hesitant at first, but that had slowly faded as he had allowed his fascination and his raw desire to explore Sasuke's body to take over.

They had come a long way in the few short weeks since they had started their physical relationship, he thought to himself as he continued pressing kisses down Sasuke's abdomen and over his stomach.

* * *

Early morning sunlight filtering in through the windows woke Naruto from his restless sleep. He stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling for a few minutes before turning his head to look at Sasuke, who was sprawled on his stomach with his head turned away from Naruto.

His skin seemed to glow in the early morning sun, and Naruto reached out a hand just to touch the inky black hair spread across the pillow in silky disarray.

He was so peaceful in sleep and he seemed so much younger. His face was free from its usual masks and the constant frown lines smoothed away to reveal a person that seemed free from burdens and responsibilities. It was his favorite version of Sasuke, and one that made Naruto ache with the love he felt for the man.

If only he could get him to look that way when he was awake, Naruto would die happy. But he wasn't allowed to be the person who made that happen, he knew. It wasn't his privilege to be with Sasuke forever, nor was it his right to claim Sasuke as his own.

Sasuke would always be able to have a freedom that Naruto would never be able to possess, and that was the freedom to be with whomever he chose. He had a bright future ahead of him. Sasuke was more intelligent that he let on, some would even say gifted in more ways than one, and Naruto couldn't help but feel he was tainting Sasuke somehow.

Still, it didn't hurt anyone to dream, he thought as he watched Sasuke sleep for a few minutes longer.

But the peace that encased their room couldn't last forever. The big day had finally arrived, and Naruto needed to leave before anyone was awake to see him leave.

Carefully, he slipped from the bed naked and quietly pulled on his pajamas from the night before. He was reluctant to rouse Sasuke from his dreams. At least he could be free there, if he wasn't in reality, and Naruto was hardly one to begrudge him that small measure of freedom.

He couldn't help but pause at the foot of the bed as he was leaving, watching Sasuke in his slumber. The sheets covered his lower half, but the expanse of his back was bare, one of his arms curled under his pillow and the over outstretched towards where Naruto had been, as if even in sleep he was seeking him.

Hurrying silently to his side, Naruto bent over and pressed a feather soft kiss to Sasuke's hair before leaving just as silently, closing the door as softly as possible behind him.

Thankfully the hallways were quiet as he slipped back to his room and into his bathroom. There was much to do before the competition and he needed to shower. He could smell Sasuke's scent rising from his skin.

* * *

Kakashi had booked a small room for a breakfast meeting before the competition, and almost everyone was there when Naruto slipped in. He had dressed in his riding trousers and boots, but had slipped on a shirt with the Uchiha Stables crest on it instead of his compeition shirt and jacket.

Genma yawned and waved at him over coffee and Naruto gave him a smile as he made up a small breakfast of fruit, toast and tea.

He could feel the nerves building in his stomach already, knotting into an unpleasant lump that almost made him feel nauseous. But he knew he needed to eat, because feeling lightheaded from hunger wouldn't make the day any easier.

Kiba was half asleep on the table, and he too was cradling a cup of coffee. Raidou was talking to Genma quietly. Neither Kakashi nor Sakura were there yet, and Naruto took his cup of tea over to the window.

The sun was breaking from behind the clouds, and it was promising to be a beautiful day. At least it wasn't raining.

The door opened abruptly behind him, and he turned to see Sakura standing there looking tense and wild eyed.

"Yo, Sakura," Genma grinned at her, seemingly oblivious to her dangerous mood. "Ready for the big day?"

"No," she snapped. Her eyes fell on Naruto and he froze when he saw the fury in her eyes. "You!"

He straightened with a pounding heart as she marched over to him. Hurriedly he set his tea down on the small table and looked up in time to be met with her fist as it slammed into his face.

Shocked, he stumbled back, raising a hand to his stinging jaw as he looked at her with wide eyed confusion.

"How could you, you _asshole!" _she shouted, oblivious to the others who had hurried over. Raidou had a restraining hand on her shoulder, and Genma was at Naruto's side in an instant, offering a napkin for his bleeding lip. Kiba was standing close by, watching in helpless silence.

"S-Sakura..." he stuttered, bewildered."What did I do?"

"_What did you do?!"_ she screeched at him, burying one of her hands in his shirt and yanking him forward.

"Hey, hey!" Raidou forced them apart, and put himself between him and Sakura. "What the hell is going on here?"

"I could ask the same question," came Kakashi's lazy drawl from the doorway. "Someone mind explaining what the problem is?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Sakura shouted, gesturing at Naruto violently.

Naruto swallowed, his mouth going dry and his legs feeling funny. His heart was pounding a mile a minute in his chest, and his head was spinning with the suddenness of Sakura's violence towards him. There was only one explanation for her turning on him as she had.

She knew about Sasuke, and she was about to let everyone in on his secret.

"Naruto? Mind telling me what she's so mad about?" Kakashi asked slowly, and suddenly everyone's attention was focused on him.

Naruto suddenly couldn't breathe properly.

"I...I don't..." he whispered.

"He can't tell you because he's a lying coward!" Sakura snapped, glaring at him with such anger and hatred in her eyes that he had a sudden flashback to his days in the group home.

"Why don't you enlighten us then?" Kakashi asked a hint of impatience in his voice.

Sakura wrenched herself free of Raidou's hold.

"He's sleeping with Sasuke!" She shouted, tears tracking down her face.

In the stunned silence that followed, Naruto could feel all of them staring at him, and closed his eyes. The clenched feeling in his chest worsened, threatening to choke him and he couldn't bring himself to look any one of them in the eye.

"Naruto? Is that true?" Kakashi asked slowly.

Naruto opened his eyes to stare wordlessly at Kakashi in stricken fear, unable to speak.

"I saw him go to Sasuke's room last night," Sakura spat, tears still running down her face and vivid spots of color blooming on her cheeks. "And I saw him come back this morning. He lied to me about everything while he was _whoring_ himself out..."

"That's enough of that," Kakashi said sharply, moving closer to Naruto. "I understand you're upset Sakura, but perhaps you should..."

"No!! He was supposed to be my friend. He _knew _how I felt about him and he stabbed me in the back," she shouted, flying at him once more, her hand raised to hit him again.

A hand caught her wrist in a firm grip, stopping her forward motion abruptly.

"Don't hit him again," Sasuke said coldly.

Naruto jumped, unaware that he was even in the room. He stared at Sasuke miserably, wondering how much worse the situation could possibly get. An uneasy silence settled over the room as all eyes watched Sasuke.

He released Sakura abruptly, and she sagged, seeming to crumble in on herself.

"What happens between me and Naruto is no one else's business but our own," Sasuke told them, his eyes moving to each of them in turn. "I won't have anyone persecuting him because of it either. If you have a problem, you come and see me. No one is to raise a hand to him again."

As he said this last bit, he looked at Sakura, his eyes hard. When he looked at Naruto again, his blank mask was back in place.

"Naruto, we have things we need to go over before the competition. Meet me in the stables in twenty minutes?"

Naruto nodded silently, and watched as Sasuke left the room.

"I guess that settled that then," Kakashi said slowly.

"N-naruto? What Sakura said, is it true?" Kiba asked. "You're sleeping with _Sasuke_?"

He turned his face away towards the window and nodded silently, holding back his tears. He felt as if one more word would break him and he would shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. He had just been exposed in the most horrible, embarrassing way. He had hurt one of his closest friends and probably driven her away for good. Now he had to face the disgust of the rest of his friends and colleagues, and he wasn't strong enough to face that kind of persecution from them.

"H-how could you do that to me Naruto? After everything, after all these years...?" Sakura was crying now, her anger seeming to have disappeared. "How could you? I l-love him."

_I do too, _Naruto thought to himself dully. He was not ashamed of his love for Sasuke, or of their relationship, but he wasn't proud of the lies he had told to protect himself. He wasn't proud of the way he had hurt Sakura.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, still fighting back tears.

"You're _sorry?!"_ She cried.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Kakashi broke in once more. "Sakura, go with Raidou please. We don't have time for this now. Kiba, get yourself down to the stables and start getting things ready, okay?"

Raidou wrapped an arm around Sakura's shoulders, and led her out with one last unreadable glance at Naruto. Kiba followed silently, closing the door and leaving Naruto alone with Kakashi and Genma.

He sat down suddenly on the window seat when his legs seemed to give out on him and stared at his hands in shock, unsure what to do.

Kakashi crouched down next to him at the same time as Genma sat down beside him.

"Naruto," Kakashi touched his knee and tried to look him in the eye but he turned his head away and closed his eyes.

"We need to talk about this," Kakashi told him gently.

"I know," he whispered hoarsely.

"Sakura....she's upset. She didn't mean to hurt you," Genma said, carefully lifting his chin and dabbing at his split and bleeding lip.

"I'm not sure if I didn't deserve it," he laughed but it sounded more like a sob.

"What were you thinking, eh?" Kakashi sighed softly. "Getting involved with Sasuke would always end in trouble, you knew that."

Naruto nodded and raised his hand to scrub at the tears that had started to fall.

"Is it just the sex or is it more than that?" Kakashi asked after a moment.

Genma's arm slid around his shoulder, and Naruto was grateful for his warmth at the very least. It distracted him a little from the sick, miserable feeling in his gut. He found he couldn't bring himself to answer that question.

"Do you love him?"

Naruto looked into Kakashi's eyes and stared at him, still unable to answer his questions. He thought it was all written on his face though; he had been told more than once that he was like an open book with his emotions sometimes.

Kakashi sighed. "I thought so."

He didn't say anything else for a few minutes, but eventually, he reached up and laid his hand on Naruto's head before pressing a kiss to his hair.

"We really don't have time for this now, but we do need to talk about this later, okay?" Kakashi said as he stood up. "Let try and get today over with before we delve into this particular can of worms. Just...try and stay away from Sakura. I need to go and check on her. I'll see you down at the stables okay?"

Naruto nodded again, and watched as Kakashi left the room, leaving him alone with Genma.

"Quite the mess we find ourselves in, eh kitten?" Genma murmured.

"Are you disgusted with me, Genma?" Naruto asked weakly.

His tears had dried up, but the hollow, painful ache in his chest had only intensified.

"Of course not," Genma said sharply. "Why would you think that?"

Naruto shrugged helplessly, unable to look up. He was twisting the napkin around and around his fingers absently. His mouth was throbbing, and no doubt would bruise. He had always known that Sakura could pack a punch, but he had never been on the receiving end.

"I really screwed up this time, didn't I?" he whispered.

"Maybe just a little," Genma said, hugging him a little tighter. "But we all do at some point. That's life, kitten."

"Yeah well, I can never seem to make things work the way they're supposed to."

Genma sighed and rested his forehead against the top of Naruto's head.

"We're all entitled to making mistakes."

"So you think me and Sasuke are a mistake?" Naruto asked, burrowing a little into Genma's arms.

"I think that no one can help who they're attracted to, Naruto," Genma answered slowly. "We can't help who we love either. _I _don't think that you and Sasuke is a mistake, but there are many who will."

"I know."

"Still, we'll deal with that when the time comes, okay? Right now we have a show to get ready for," Genma released him and sat back, smiling at him. "So chin up Kitten. We'll figure something out."

Naruto managed a shaky smile at him.

"I'll meet you out there okay?"

Genma stood up, his eyes troubled as he looked at Naruto. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just...I just need a minute to myself." Naruto managed another smile for him, though he could feel his mouth trembling.

Genma laid a hand on his head before nodding.

"Okay. I'll see you out there in five."

Naruto nodded and waiting until Genma had closed the door behind himself before dropping his head into his hands.

TBC


	31. Love Through the Lies

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all the characters in this story belong to their rightful owner. I make no claim on their creation!

**Warnings:** Yaoi, Sasuke/Naruto relationship, some swearing and violence. If you don't like boyxboy pairings, then don't read this!

**Authors Notes:** I know it's been a looooonnnnnggg time since I updated this story, but I've finally decided to get this story done, because I love it so much. I hope you enjoy, and please forgive if this chapter is no good. I'm just getting back into the writing game!

* * *

**Chapter 29: Love Through the Lies**

_Something's in the air tonight  
The sky's alive with a burning light  
You can mark my words something's about to break  
And I found myself in a bitter fight  
While I've held your hand through the darkest night_

Nothing Left to Lose by Mat Kearney

* * *

Sora was gleaming like a precious metal, and looked so perfect she could have been carved from marble. The heat from her body had warmed the leather of her saddle, and it was the only part of him that felt warm.

The sun shone brightly, but it did little to warm the chill he felt inside. He felt numbed and in shock, even though they had performed flawlessly for the dressage test, he had felt as if he were watching from elsewhere.

He bowed to the judges and urged Sora towards the exit of the ring. Applause broke out from the audience, but he did nothing to acknowledge it, even though he knew that his comrades, as well as Sasuke had been watching.

It was like something in his mind had switched off after the events of the morning. He had moved through the motions of preparing for the first day of the competition, grooming and saddling Taira and Sora, showering and dressing himself in his formal riding attire. He had warmed up both horses soundly, and both had been on their best behaviour for him.

It hadn't helped that Sasuke had been distant and almost cold with him whenever they had been forced to interact. Combined with the strange looks he had been receiving from Kiba and Raidou, and the obvious kindness and concern from Kakashi and Genma, he felt like an outcast, or a leper.

He wiped his forearm against his sweaty forehead and nodded to the rider entering the ring.

Kakashi approached him with Raidou at his side.

"Good work Naruto, you went really well out there," the older man said, smiling at him as he grasped Sora's rein. "Take her for a cool down, then put her away for the night. Kiba has already taken care of Taira for you. Sasuke placed second in the dressage."

"They're releasing your score now, Naruto," Raidou said, looking over at the scoreboard on the far side of the arena. They waited in silence for the judges to release the scores.

"Hm, good placing. Third," Kakashi looked back up at him.

Naruto nodded again. "I'd better get her settled," he mumbled.

"Okay. See you back at the hotel? Dinner is at six."

He already knew that he wouldn't be attending dinner after today. Isolation was probably the best bet after such a rough day, and looking people in the eye was a rather hard thing to do.

With a small wave at his friends, he turned Sora for the practise arena's for her cool down.

As he passed the stables, the sight of Sasuke caught his eye and he pulled Sora to a halt. Sasuke had disposed of his formal riding jacket, and was standing with a man who Naruto had never seen before. He watched, a heavy feeling in his gut as they smiled at one another, and Sasuke pulled the guy into a tight hug.

The unknown man had vibrant red hair, and pale skin, he could see that much from where he sat astride Sora. He appeared to be a little shorter than Sasuke, and was dressed in baggy jeans, with a tight fitting black t-shirt and heavy, military style boots.

He watched them together as they talked, painfully noting the way Sasuke was smiling and talking with such animation.

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat; after the way Sasuke had been so distant with him before the competition, seeing him so lively with someone else cut him deeply.

Sora was getting edgy, so he directed her towards the ring for an extra-long cool down, determined not to look their way again.

* * *

Sasuke clapped Gaara on the shoulder again with a smile.

"It's good to see you again," he repeated himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "I tell you, I thought I was going to go insane having the listen to Ino for another day without intelligent conversation."

"From the rumours I've heard flying around, there's a lot more going on than that," Gaara replied dryly, as he looked around at all the people and the horses.

Sasuke exhaled, as his thoughts turned immediately to Naruto and the new conflict that had arisen. He really didn't care what the other stable hands thought of their relationship, especially the pink haired girl Haruno. Like many others before her, she had acted as though she had some claim over him, and that she had a right to him. It only deepened his spite for her, because he couldn't stand people who treated him like he was a statue, with no opinions or thoughts of his own.

That was another reason he had been so drawn to Naruto. Naruto treated him like he was more than his looks or money. He was interested in Sasuke as a person, as someone who mattered and meant more than his material possessions and his status.

_Sasuke _might not care what other people thought, but he knew that Naruto did. He knew how guilty his lover felt about their secret, and how ashamed he was of hurting his friend, and it had torn at him to see how much Naruto was hurting. It pained him more than anything to know that there wasn't anything to do to help the situation either, but leave it alone to settle down.

Sasuke knew that he was way more invested in the relationship than any other he had previously had. In fact, Naruto had quickly become his reason for getting up every day, and had become the centre of his life. The depth of emotion he felt for the guy was enough to make him choke up and feel as if he were suffocating, as if he could be driven mad by how much he _needed _to be involved in Naruto's life and wellbeing. Making him happy had become top priority for Sasuke, and he knew that he was in too deep.

If he had been sensible, he would have broken it off before they had both become so invested, but it had become impossible and unthinkable too quickly and had spiralled out of control so fast his head was still spinning.

Sasuke loved Naruto. He loved him more than his art, and his music and his horses and anyone he had ever known, and it was too late to do anything about it, despite the impossibility of their situations.

He couldn't be open about the relationship with his family, because of the repercussions for Naruto. The person he loved so much had rebuilt himself around the job and the life he had at the estate, and there was not a chance in hell that he would be the one to tear it away from him.

If this Haruno Sakura did though, there would be hell to pay.

He returned his attention to Gaara, who was watching him closely.

"I think there's more to this situation that you've told me," Gaara said quietly, as he watched Sasuke.

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "There is. And I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. You can see why I need you around."

Gaara's mouth quirked. "The delegated voice of reason again, am I? Why don't we get a drink and you can tell uncle Gaara all about it?"

Sasuke grinned and slugged his arm. "Uncle Gaara? You're not nearly wise enough to fill that position, my friend."

"Are you going like that or are you changing?" Gaara looked him up and down. "Nice pants. If they were any tighter, I would have thought they were a second skin."

"Shut up, you…"

* * *

Steam swirled in the air around his body as he stepped from the shower. It was late, and he was tired, but his mind was too busy whirring away to let him rest. Naruto had resorted to a hot shower to easy his aching muscles.

He hadn't been able to face going to dinner, as he had suspected, and his appetite had been non-existent all day.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stood in front of the foggy mirror and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He wanted to see Sasuke, and ask him the questions that were burning in his mind, but he hadn't been in his room, causing the weight in his stomach to grow in size.

Sickened with the desperate need to talk to Sasuke, he had retreated to his room for the evening.

Looking back at him was the bruised face of someone who had ruined everything he had worked for. The thought of Sakura's anger was weighing heavily on his mind, and he wanted to go and apologise and explain himself, but Kakashi had forbidden it for the time being, and he had submitted to the wiser man's advice.

With a heavy sigh, he left the steam filled bathroom and walked over to the bed. Sitting down, he stared at his hands blankly, wondering what to do next. He was startled by the ringing of his cell phone, and answered it automatically, without pausing the see who it might be.

"Hello?"

"_Naruto, it's Ten Ten_," came the familiar voice over the line. She sounded tense and upset, and Naruto knew immediately why she was calling.

"Hey," he replied heavily. "I guess you've heard then."

"_Sakura has been ranting on the phone to me for the last hour and a half. Everyone here has heard too. Iruka is upset."_

Naruto nodded, even though she couldn't see it.

"I thought as much. Didn't take too long then."

"_Are you okay? I heard that she hit you, and that Sasuke was involved_."

"I'm okay," he reassured her. "She didn't hurt me."

"_I'm so sorry Naruto. I would come if I could but I can't leave Shikamaru here by himself_…"

"I know. Its fine, I understand."

Tenten was quiet for a long moment.

"_You're pretty humiliated, huh_?" She asked quietly.

"It wasn't the way I wanted people to find out," he agreed, blinking away the burning in his eyes. "Kiba won't even look at my anymore."

She sighed. _"He's never been exactly comfortable with same sex relationships, though he's too polite to act on his opinions. Still, I would have thought that he could overcome that for the sake of your friendship."_

"I don't think it's that. I think it's more my choice of partner," he admitted, finally voicing one of the worries on his mind.

"_How is Sasuke with all this_," she asked suddenly. "_Have you had a chance to talk to him about it yet?"_

"No. He made it pretty clear he didn't want to talk earlier. I don't know where he is now." He hesitated once more, not sure if he should voice his other insecurities.

"_What is it_?" she asked, sensing that there was something else. He inwardly cursed her apparent telepathy when it came to this sort of thing.

"I…I saw him. With this guy."

"_Saw him doing what?"_

"They were just talking but…"

Someone banged on his door abruptly, causing Naruto to jump, badly startled

"Hold on a sec, Tenten. There's someone at the door."

He carried the phone with him to the door, and opened it to find Sasuke standing there. For a moment they stood there, staring at each other before he remembered Tenten was listening.

"I have to go. I'll call you back later," he said quickly, before snapping the phone shut.

"Are you going to just stand there practically naked, or do you want me to come in?" Sasuke asked, with a quirk of his mouth, despite the lack of humour on his face.

Wordlessly, he stepped back, the phone held limp in his hand as he closed the door.

"I think we have some things we need to talk about," Sasuke said, turning to look at him, taking in his undressed state.

Naruto blushed, cursing the fact that Sasuke could still do that to him despite the long weeks of their relationship.

"I should….go put some clothes on…" he said quickly, making his way to the bedroom.

He jumped when Sasuke followed him, and pulled him to a stop by the bed. Before he knew it, he was turned around and pulled into Sasuke's arms. He automatically relaxed and hugged him back, feeling Sasuke exhale into his hair.

They stood like that for a long time, until Naruto started to shiver minutely from the cold. Sasuke released him, and gave him a small push.

"Get dressed. I'll wait for you in the sitting room. I don't think this conversation should be had in the bedroom," he glanced at the bed. "We tend to get…distracted."

With another hot blush gracing his features, Naruto hurriedly pulled on some sweats and a jumper worn soft with use. Scrubbing his hair dry, he dropped the towel uncaringly on the floor and hurried to join Sasuke, who was standing at the windows looking down at the city below. He stopped a few meters behind him, unsure if he should continue. Sasuke turned to look at him after a moment.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly.

Naruto was shocked. He had never heard Sasuke apologise to anyone before and he had a reputation similar to that of the rest of the men in his family – stubborn, prideful and unwilling to admit that he had made a mistake. In that way, at least, he was like his father and brother.

"About last night," Sasuke clarified for him. "I was…careless in my actions. I didn't think it mattered if your friends found out about us but…it obviously does to you. I risked your lifestyle for my own selfish reasons, and it wasn't fair of me to…."

Naruto couldn't stand to hear any more, so he stepped forward and pressed his mouth to Sasuke's desperately. Sasuke froze, but relaxed and kissed him back after a brief moment of hesitation.

"I do care what my friends think of this. But the thought of losing you hurts worse than anything else," he explained quickly. "I feel horrible for lying to Sakura, and hiding this from everyone, but making you lie for me isn't fair either. If you…if you still want me, then…then you should know that I love you. I love you more than anything else."

Having finally said those fateful words, he lowered his head to avoid Sasuke's burning gaze. "But if you…if you don't love me back, then that's okay too. I'm not angry."

"Don't love you back?" Sasuke demanded. "How could I not?

He jerked his eyes back up to Sasuke, only to find himself crushed in a strong embrace and kissed thoroughly. He could barely breathe, as Sasuke plundered his mouth with his own.

With desperate hands, they undressed each other, hardly able to bear not being able to touch for those long moments that it took to get naked.

Naruto was pushed roughly down onto the bed, but he didn't care in the slightest as Sasuke's heat and weight pressed him back into the wickedly soft mattress.

"You should know…" Sasuke murmured as he pressed hot wet kisses to his skin. "That if you want slow and soft tonight, you're not going to get it."

Naruto could only moan helplessly as Sasuke took him in his mouth, his skilled mouth and tongue taking him to the brink faster than ever.

He didn't want slow and steady, he wanted the blazing passion that Sasuke was covering him in, burning for his touch and his kiss.

"Sasuke, I'm…." he gasped out, desperately not wanting it to be over yet. Sasuke pulled back and looked up at him, as he trailed his fingers further back and touching his entrance.

They hadn't done that before, with Naruto being naturally shy and Sasuke sensing his uncertainty on the subject. But there was none of that anymore. He wanted Sasuke, wanted all of him in any possible way, in his body, in his heart and in his mind.

Naruto met his eyes steadily.

"We won't if you don't want to," Sasuke told him his voice slightly hoarse, despite his stroking fingers. That touch send a whole different type of fire racing through his veins, and his mind flickered back briefly to that distant conversation he had had with Iruka, and he blushed hotly again.

"I want to," he said honeslty. "Please."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment longer before pressing a kiss to his hip.

"Wait here."

He pushed himself up on his elbows and watched as Sasuke went to the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with a bottle held in his hand. He couldn't help but stare at Sasuke, at his beautifully sculpted body and the burning heat in his eyes as he settled back down on Naruto once more.

"This will feel strange at first, but it will feel good," Sasuke murmured as he covered his fingers with the clear fluid. "I promise."

* * *

Naruto lay awake in the quiet of the pre-dawn hours. Sasuke was wrapped around him, a steady, burning heat at his back. His soft breaths fanned his skin slowly, almost hypnotic in its rhythm. But sleep still alluded him. His body was even more tired than before, and he smiled as he remembered what he and Sasuke had shared that night. Sasuke had shown him pleasure beyond any he had known before, and despite his previous apprehensions on the subject, he had no regrets.

Sasuke stirred behind him suddenly as if sensing he was the centre of Naruto's thoughts, and warm lips brushed his shoulder blade gently.

"Still can't sleep?" Sasuke whispered.

Naruto shook his head silently, and moved closer to Sasuke.

"You're worried about tomorrow?"

"No, not yet. Just…thinking."

Sasuke propped his chin on his shoulder, and slid a hand up his chest.

"About that Sakura girl and this morning then," Sasuke concluded, unerringly reaching up and brushing his fingers across his bruised cheek and split lip.

"Do you think I should leave it for now, or try and talk to her tomorrow?"

"I think that you should focus on the competition for now and give her room to cool down. Maybe after, when we get home, she will be more willing to…listen to reason," Sasuke replied thoughtfully.

Naruto shifted and rolled over onto his side to face him and traced his fingers over Sasuke's lips.

"You don't like her much, do you?"

Sasuke didn't reply for a moment, and captured Naruto's hand with one of his own before brushing his lips over his fingers thoughtfully.

"I don't like people who fawn over me as if I'm a prize to be won. I am tired of being seen only as the handsome son of a billionaire, with a bright future following in his father's footsteps and making money. I want to be someone more than that…"

Naruto watched Sasuke's eyes go distant when he spoke, and smiled at him.

"You are more than that Sasuke. And I'm sure you'll be amazing at anything you try in the future."

Sasuke smiled at him, and rolled on top of him and Naruto grinned back as he wrapped his arms around him.

"You have too much faith in me Naruto," Sasuke smiled.

"Nah, I don't think so. I saw you out there today. You were amazing."

"Same should be said for you. Fourth place on the first day of the competition is no easy task," Sasuke pressed a lingering kiss to his mouth.

"Yeah, well, I could have…" he began but was cut off by Sasuke's mouth once more.

"Naruto, you will do just as well tomorrow. And no matter how you place in the competition, I will be proud of you. I know that this hasn't been easy for you, and I admire you doing it despite your fears."

Naruto smiled at him once more, warmed all the way through by the compliment.

"And tomorrow, there is someone I want you to meet. He's a very close friend of mine, and I think you'll like him."

Naruto frowned, thinking back to the red haired man he had seen earlier, but decided not to comment. Tomorrow would bring its own new set of problems, and he didn't want to start thinking about them just yet, especially not when Sasuke was doing such pleasing things to his neck.

TBC


	32. Don't Let Me Fall

**Disclaimer:** Characters belong to their rightful owner, not me. This particular story arc however, does belong to me!

**Warnings**: Yaoi of the Sasu/Naru kind. Swearing, some violence and graphic scenes. Don't like, don't read!

**Author's Note**: After doing some reading to refresh my memory on three day eventing, I realised that I have the order of the events in the wrong order. Normally, the order is dressage, then cross country and then the show jumping. However, for the sake of making the story flow a little better, I will leave it as it is. Apologies to any hard-core riders out there that may be reading this!

* * *

**Chapter 30: Don't Let me Fall**

_You won't find faith or hope down a telescope  
You won't find heart and soul in the stars  
You can break everything down to chemicals  
But you can't explain a love like ours._

Science and Faith by the Script

* * *

Naruto hefted the saddled onto a restless Sora's back. She was in a funny mood which made him a little apprehensive about the upcoming show jumping. He was on in half an hour and he had left it as late as possible to saddle her in order to keep her relaxed and calm.

So far, the competition had been a success. Sakura and Kiba had been doing well in the lower levelled competitions, and Sasuke was dominating at the highest level, currently placed second and looking very promising for a first place. Ino had taken a fall earlier in the day during her show jumping routine, which had effectively eliminated her for the competition, and Neji was placed third behind Sasuke.

Currently, Naruto was fourth in the competition level just below Sasuke. He wouldn't be competing against his lover, which gave him some measure of relief, because he had no hope of doing well against Sasuke and Taira. Sora wasn't experienced enough to be competing at that level anyway, so he was eager for her to do well and prove her worth to Sasuke. After all, Sasuke had ultimately let Naruto talk him into buying a mare that had little experience with show jumping. So the next two days would be a big test for them both.

Show jumping in a ring was vastly different from cross country jumping. The major difference was the jumps themselves; the jumps in the show jumping ring were able to be knocked down, whereas cross country jumps were the opposite. Show jumping is ultimately a test of the horses' athleticism and obedience, and is a timed course. Cross country is a test of speed and bravery for the horse.

This particular show jumping course had eighteen fences of medium difficulty, at Naruto's level anyway. Thankfully, there were no water jumps this time, although the same couldn't be said for the cross country course. Raidou had worked hard with Sora on the water jumps after Naruto's accident, but she still disliked them intensely.

But he would worry about that when the time came. Sora was in a cranky mood, and stamped impatiently as he quickly fastened the chest plate and girth. As usual, she was groomed to perfection, and ready to go.

Naruto himself was dressed too, in smart beige jodphurs, and a crisp white long sleeved shirt and his short hunt coat. He had spent a good hour cleaning and polishing his boots and brushing down his black velvet helmet. He was inwardly cursing the strict dress codes of the competition world. Give him a comfortable pair of riding pants, a loose jumper and his normal riding boots any day.

With a sigh, he patted Sora's shoulder and released her halter as he gathered up the reigns. He swung the stable door open and led her out. She stepped briskly beside him as he manoeuvred her around other people and horses and out into the sunshine.

He immediately spotted Sasuke talking to that strange red haired man again in the shade of a giant tree. Sasuke hadn't competed yet, and so was dressed casually. He saw Naruto and waved him over with a grin.

Sora shook her head as he led her over, and he patted her neck reassuringly.

Sasuke was smiling at him warmly, and Naruto felt his insides start up that old familiar tap dance, just from that smile.

"Naruto," he touched his arm briefly before turning to his friend. "This is Gaara, my childhood friend and constant tormentor. Gaara, this is Naruto."

Naruto shyly met Gaara's pale green, assessing eyes.

"Naruto. I've heard a lot about you," Gaara greeted him, emotionlessly.

Naruto shifted nervously, still uncomfortable with meeting strangers and this one in particular. Sasuke seemed close to Gaara, and it was the first time he had met anyone besides his mother about whom Sasuke actually cared deeply for.

"I uh…" he began, but Sasuke smiled and touched his shoulder again.

"Fortunately for you, Gaara, I haven't actually told Naruto much about you. You have a clean slate, my friend," Sasuke grinned at Gaara, and received a slug in the arm for his troubles.

"Don't listen to anything he tells you, Naruto," Gaara said, with a slight smile. "He grossly exaggerates every story he has about me."

Naruto smiled, genuinely this time, caught up in the friendly banter between the two. Despite his initial reservations, he found himself starting to like the shrewd red head in spite of his scary exterior.

"Did you come just to visit Sasuke?" he asked quietly, still not entirely sure of his welcome.

"Well, that and to get away from my family," Gaara replied. "Much like Sasuke, I am constantly surrounded by family drama and parents with expectations that I have no desire to meet."

"We first met in grade school, when we were seven," Sasuke told him. "It was hate at first sight and I haven't been able to get rid of him since."

"Oh please. You've been tagging along behind me since day one and you know it."

Naruto opened his mouth to ask another question, but was cut off by Sora throwing her head up and whirling around as another horse came too close. He was forced away from Sasuke as she skittered around, and he gathered up her reins as he attempted to soothe her. He got her back under control quickly and led her back towards them.

"She okay?" Sasuke asked, eyeing her sharply as he took a hold of her bridle and ran a critical eye over her.

"She's in a funny mood today," Naruto replied as he ran a hand down her neck. "I'm hoping she'll settle down once I get her warmed up."

"You be careful out there today," Sasuke said seriously. "You know how she gets with jumping when she's in a mood like this. If you don't think she can handle it, pull out. I'd rather that then you taking another fall."

Naruto nodded his understanding, although he was unwilling to stand Sora down.

"I'd better go," Naruto said. "I'm on in twenty. It was nice meeting you Gaara."

The redhead quirked a smile at him. "You too, Uzamaki Naruto. I hope we get a chance to get to know each other a little better."

He smiled at Gaara as he slipped on his helmet and fastened it securely. Sasuke pulled the reins over Sora's head quickly.

"Here, I'll give you a leg up," he said.

Naruto bent the knee closest to Sasuke and grasped the saddle, and Sasuke pushed him upwards. He swung his other leg over the saddle and quickly adjusted his position, securing his feet in the stirrups and gathering the reins.

Sasuke left his hand on his knee and looked up at him.

"Be careful," he murmured. "I'll be watching."

"I will," Naruto smiled down at his lover, feeling that warm flood of emotion once more as he recalled the previous night.

"Good luck."

Naruto smiled and nudged Sora into a brisk walk towards the warm up ring.

* * *

Naruto trotted Sora around the outside of the jumping arena, waiting for the judges to give him the go ahead to start.

In order to get the highest points possible, he had to ensure that neither he nor Sora fell, or knocked down an element of a jump, refuse a jump or exceed the time limit. He had gone over and over the jump course, carefully measured out the space between each jump so he could get the timing right, and made sure he knew the order the fences were supposed to be jumped in.

Sora had calmed down considerably throughout their warm up, although he could feel that she was still tense beneath him. Naruto himself had an uncomfortable mess of nerves residing in his stomach and making him feel slightly nauseous. Sora was probably picking up on his tumultuous emotions and working herself up in response.

He consciously forced himself to take a few deeps breaths and focus his mind on the task at hand as he kept an eye on the judges. The head judge finally gave him the nod, so he urged her into a canter and took her around the starting point. The crowd around him quieted down but he forced himself to ignore them as he readied Sora.

Sora rushed into the first jump slightly, but he eased her over it and took her around to the next. She jumped the next ten jumps steadily and relatively smoothly, and he started to relax a little. In response, she took the next three perfectly, and he turned her sharply for the next. It was a double fence, and he felt her hesitate right before they took off. She sailed over the jump with room to spare, but stumbled slightly on the landing.

White hot pain shot up Naruto's back unexpectedly as he jarred on the landing, and he gasped out loud and hunched over her neck as he tried not to cry out.

He could feel Sora start to panic beneath him, and she would have probably skidded to a halt had he not gritted his teeth against the agony tearing his back apart and managed to straighten in the saddle and gather the reins. He braced himself as the next jump loomed before them, and spurred Sora on. She took the jump with hesitation once more, but landed perfectly. The landing jarred his back once more, and he could feel tears running down his face as he prepared for the last two jumps. They were relatively easy compared to the others, but they seemed like mountains to Naruto, whose back was beginning to seize up from the pain.

Sora seemed to sense that something was wrong and took control right front his hands. He had lost the quality of his position and was hunched over slightly, but she seemed to ignore him and soared over the next two jumps perfectly on her own, with Naruto remembering to stand in the stirrups each time she launched herself into the air.

Once they'd completed the course, he slumped completely over her neck as she slowed herself to a fast trot. She was making a direct line towards where Kakashi, Raidou and Genma had rushed to wait once they had realised something was wrong.

"Naruto!" Genma called as Kakashi grabbed Sora's reins and pulled her to a stop.

"Naruto, what's wrong?" Kakashi demanded.

He was still slumped over Sora's neck and sobbing quietly in pain, and there were hands all over him, trying to pull him from the saddle.

"Stop!" A familiar voice commanded, and he was aware of Sasuke pushing through the crowd of his friends with two medics behind him. Naruto turned his head towards him, and felt his warm hands frame his face.

"Naruto, breathe deeply with me for a moment," he commanded, and shakily he managed to comply. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"My back," he managed to gasp as another wave of pain seized him. "I think…I've strained my back again."

"Okay, let's get him down from there and onto the stretcher," the medics gently removed Sasuke from his side, and took over.

They were so careful in their ministrations, but every movement was agony. They tried to get him to lie on his back but he kept trying to curl into a ball and hug his knees.

"You're hurting him!" he could hear Genma snap angrily, and then Kakashi and Raidou were pulling him away off to the side. He could hear Sora kicking up a fuss somewhere nearby, and he wanted desperately to go to her and make sure she was okay, but the medics were still fussing over him.

Naruto opened his eyes and looked for Sasuke, finding him standing nearby with Gaara before he whited out from the pain.

* * *

Sasuke waited quietly with Gaara at his side outside the hospital room. Kakashi and the other stable hands were waiting a little ways away, leaving them alone for the time being. They had been waiting for two hours already, and Sasuke was getting impatient to see Naruto.

He had been so proud, watching Naruto out there. Sora had jumped beautifully, and whilst it hadn't been the best technical performance, it had been right up there. He had felt his heart stop the moment when Naruto had slumped over on that landing. So many things could have gone disastrously wrong had it not been for Narutos' strength of will to continue.

He could have fallen and gone under Sora hooves. Or Sora could have fallen or bolted from the arena. They could have crashed into the next fence. So many things that would have devastated Sasuke had they happened, but they didn't. He didn't think he could stand watching the person he loved with all of his being fall again.

As it was, he was extremely tense. His hands were clasped together so tightly his skin was turning white, and he couldn't stop his leg from bouncing. Gaara was silent beside him, a solid, immovable presence at his side, providing a steadfast support as Sasuke panicked silently beside him.

Things had been going so well between them as well as on the competition field. And yet, Naruto couldn't seem to catch a break. First, their very public outing by a certain pink woman who was, Sasuke noticed with a scowl, conspicuously absent and then this.

Suddenly, a door opened to their left and they all simultaneously shot to their feet and converged on the man. It would have been funny had the situation not been so serious.

"He's okay," he doctor told the anxious group. "He's strained his back again, but not so badly as his previous injury. It appears that in the past, he had actually slipped a disc in his spine, but luckily that didn't happen this time. It's mostly muscle spasms and internal bruising due to the awkward landing."

"How long will his recovery be?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"I've prescribed him muscle relaxants and strong pain killers. Heat packs and bed rest for the next few days and then he should be getting up and moving around slowly for the week following. Unfortunately, this may become a chronic problem for him, but there's not much we can do for it besides treat the symptoms."

The doctor glanced towards the darkened room behind him.

"I've sedated him lightly for the time being. He'll be discharged in about fifteen minutes and then you can take him home. He shouldn't be in an upright position for too long, so try to keep him from taking any long trips. Here are his prescriptions. Make sure that he follows the instructions carefully, because they're quite strong medications."

"Thank you doctor," Sasuke told him, releasing the breath that he had been holding.

At least it wasn't a broken back that he had been fearing. Naruto would be displeased that he would be unable to continue in the competition. It saddened him that it would become a chronic problem though, because it meant there would be more pain for his lover in the future.

"Well, at least it's not as bad as last time then," the man named Genma stated, sounding rather glum.

"Look on the bright side, Genma," Raidou said. "Naruto is strong. He'll be up and about in no time."

Sasuke found them grating on his nerves, and gritted his teeth to keep from snapping at them. Gaara gripped his forearm, as if sensing Sasuke's frustration.

"Let's go and pick up these prescriptions shall we?" Kakashi murmured, with an astute glance in Sasuke's direction.

"But what about…." Genma started to say, but Raidou and Kakashi had already started to led him away.

"How about we let Sasuke…" was all he heard before he could no longer hear them.

"I'll go get us some coffee," Gaara stated rather casually, before sauntering off in the opposite direction to the others. "I'll meet you out the front."

Sasuke was alone in the hallway, and he exhaled once more before quietly entering Naruto's darkened examination room.

The blond lay on his back on the small examination table. X-rays and scans taken of his back littered the boards around the room. He had thrown one arm over his eyes, to block out what little light there was. His boots and jacket had been removed, and his shirt was partially undone.

Sasuke was just glad to see that he wasn't crying in pain anymore. That made his feel slightly better, at least.

"Naruto?" he enquired softly, as he approached the table.

The arm lifted slightly, and he caught a flash of blue eyes before they were hidden once more. His breathing was deep and even, and he seemed to be at peace.

"Hey, 'suke," came the quiet response. Sasuke was finally at his side, and he laid a gentle hand on Naruto's raised forearm.

The arm was lowered slowly, and Sasuke looked into drowsy blue eyes for the first time in hours.

"How did I do?" Naruto asked, his voice slightly slurred.

"Sorry?"

"The showjumpin? How'd I go?" Naruto asked, closing his eyes slowly before opening them again and trying to focus on Sasuke. "Did someone look after Sora?

Sasuke smiled, as the depth of emotion he felt for the man rose up and made his throat tighten. Trust Naruto to be thinking of the least important thing at such a time, with the least bit of concern for himself.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the slightly sweaty forehead.

"You did great," he whispered against the warm skin. He knelt down beside the bed, one hand twined in his soft blond hair and the other rubbing gently at his stomach.

"You moved up a spot to third. I'm so proud of you."

Naruto smiled, and clumsily wrapped a hand around the one on his stomach.

"'m glad," he murmured. "Didn' want to disappoint you."

"You could never, Naruto," Sasuke blinked back tears. "Not even if you tried. But it's time to put it to bed now. You have to concentrate on getting better and resting from now on. Are you ready to go to sleep?"

His only response was a quiet nod, as those blue eyes that fascinated him so closed once more.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and he looked over his shoulder to see Kakashi with a wheelchair.

"They've discharged him, Sasuke-sama," the enigmatic man said quietly.

"Okay. Help me get him into the chair?" Sasuke asked as he stood up. He shook Naruto gently, rousing him.

"Naruto," he whispered. "Wake up a little so we can move you."

Naruto obeyed with surprising ease, opening his eyes and rolling slowly onto his side, with only the slightest flicker of pain crossing his features.

With Sasuke on one side and Kakashi on the other, they both eased him off the table and into the wheelchair, surrounding him with plenty of pillows for support. Sasuke reluctantly let Kakashi wheel him out of the room and into the hallway, walking beside the chair and watching as Naruto's eyes blinked slowly as he looked around.

"They drugged him with the good stuff, it seems," Kakashi noted as they made their way slowly and carefully towards the ground floor.

Sasuke didn't mind the quiet man's conversation. He had known Kakashi for a long time, and didn't see him as an employee or even a servant. They weren't friends or acquaintances either, but he found the mysterious man's words and advice was always honest and usually correct. He also knew that he was a good mentor and friend of Naruto's and that endeared the man to Sasuke even more.

"He'll have to withdraw from the competition," Sasuke replied as he looked away.

Kakashi sighed. "He won't be happy with that. In fact, I'd say you have quite the fight on your hands to get him to agree to that."

"He's in no shape to discuss that tonight though. It will have to wait until the morning," Sasuke decided as they reached the curb outside the hospital doors.

"I sent the others on ahead to the hotel. Gaara is bringing the car around," Kakashi informed him.

Sasuke nodded and ran his fingers lightly over Naruto's exposed forearm.

* * *

Naruto opened his gritty eyes slowly, his body feeling sluggish and heavy. There was a sharp ache in his back and it didn't take long for his tom recall the unfortunate events of yesterday. He lay on his stomach, with his arms buried under his pillow.

He turned his head and was treated to the sight of Sasuke asleep in an armchair beside his bed, with his head propped up on his clenched fist.

"Sasuke?" he whispered, and jumped as Sasuke eyes flew open. He bit back his gasp as pain gripped his back.

"What do you need?" Sasuke asked immediately, sliding to his knees beside the bed.

"Pills," he gasped, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth against the pain.

Sasuke reached onto the bedside table and quickly tipped out two pills.

"Here, I'll have to roll you over," Sasuke muttered, before propping a couple of pillows against each other and helping Naruto ease over onto his back. Once he was settled, Sasuke gave him the pills and a glass of water and watched as Naruto swallowed them down rapidly, before handing the glass back and relaxing with a sigh.

"How are you feeling?" his lover asked quietly, seating himself on the bed facing him.

Naruto managed a smile for him, and reached for his hand, which Sasuke gave readily.

"Better than I did yesterday," he replied.

"You gave everyone quite the scare," Sasuke frowned. "I swear, if I have to see you get yourself hurt again, I'm going to go stark raving mad."

Naruto stared at the ceiling and cursed his luck silently. First the whole mess with Sakura, which was constantly plaguing his thoughts, and now aggravating his back injury. At least he had Sasuke to make it bearable.

"It all happened so suddenly," he said, half talking to himself. "We were going so well, and then she stumbled….I wasn't expecting it."

"Nobody was," Sasuke said, still frowning. "It wasn't as if you did it on purpose. These things happen sometimes. It's unfortunate that you have to pull out from the competition, but there will be other opportunities to compete."

Naruto frowned, not liking where this was going. He managed to pull himself up on the pillows a little to better face his partner.

"Pull out? You mean quit?"

"Yes, that's what I mean. I've organised a flight for this evening to take you home. An hour and a half on a plane is better than a five hour car trip. You're in no condition to even get on a horse, let alone ride a cross country course," Sasuke replied, sitting back a little.

"I'm not going to quit. I'm feeling better already…"

"Naruto, there is no way you will be able to complete that course. I can guarantee you that after the first jump you will be in agony. There is no point in continuing to damage your back more than it already has been," Sasuke said, his voice firm and his frown deepening.

"Sasuke…" Naruto forced himself to calm down, and think clearly, knowing that getting upset would only tighten Sasuke resolve. "I am capable of determining whether or not I am able to do this course, and I am. I know I can do this."

Sasuke stood up and began to pace, his frustration palpable.

"Naruto, you're not _listening _to me…"

"I am listening, Sasuke," Naruto cut him off. "I'm tired of people dictating what I should do, and trying to get me to do what they want. I have lived my life convincing myself not to do things because I will probably fail. I entered this competition to prove to myself, and to you, that I can do. I'm not going to give up on this just yet."

Sasuke looked at him, looking upset and irritated, but appearing to listen to him. Naruto took a deep breath to steady himself, and thanked the gods that the medications that were starting to kick in didn't affect his ability to think clearly.

"I can do this Sasuke. I want you to trust me. I want you to believe in me and let me at least try," he implored quietly.

Yelling or getting angry never got anyone anywhere with Sasuke. He could be as impassive as stone when he had his mind set on something. The best way was to use words to make him see sense. No yelling. No arguing. Sasuke had endured enough of that during his lifetime.

"But what if…."

"How about we get everything ready, and we'll see how I'm feeling when I'm due to start? If you still don't think I'm up to doing it then, I'll let you withdraw for me," Naruto offered.

Sasuke ran his hands through his dishevelled hair and paced away from him before returning to his previous position on the bed. He grasped Naruto's hands in his and raised them to his lips, closing his eyes as he kissed them lingeringly.

"Okay," he said eventually, resting his cheek against their clasped hands. "But if I see even a hint of pain, then I will have you scrubbed from the competition within a heartbeat. Understand?"

Naruto smiled and pulled a hand free to rest it on Sasuke's head.

"I understand. Thank you, Sasuke."

Sasuke raised his head and glared at him.

"I don't know how you manage to talk me into things, but it has got to stop," he said. "Everyone will begin to think I'm an easy target."

"I highly doubt that, Sasuke," Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke scowled, and leaned forward to claim his mouth for a lingering kiss, before resting his forehead on Naruto's gently.

"You scared me yesterday."

"Sorry," Naruto replied sheepishly, pressing a fleeting kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah, you better be," Sasuke grumbled, but he was smiling when he kissed Naruto again.

* * *

It had taken all of his resolve and strength, but he had done it. He had made it through the day only by making very slow movements and relying heavily on his medications. His friends and co-workers (with the notable exception of Sakura, whom he hadn't seen in days and didn't that hurt?) had been very disproving and had tried numerous times to dissuade him from his course of action. But his mind was made up and there was no going back now.

Sora shifted restlessly underneath him, as he waited for the rider before him to finish. Kakashi stood to one side of Sora, holding his bridle. Sasuke stood next to his knee, scowling.

"I don't like this," he muttered darkly.

"So you've said," Naruto replied. "Numerous times and with great variation."

His back wasn't hurting at the moment. In fact, it was pleasantly numb, but he knew that would change soon enough. He had worked too long and hard to quit when the finish line was in sight, and he wasn't about to let himself or the others down by giving up. He had finally found the courage to face up to his fears, and he was too far gone to give that up.

"I don't care. I'll keep saying it until it gets through that skull of yours," Sasuke replied waspishly. "This is a stupid idea and I don't know why I let you talk me into it."

Naruto smiled down at him, taking the grouchiness for what it was – concern. He noticed that Kakashi was struggling to hide his own smile as he looked away and pretended not to listen.

"Well, it's too late now," Naruto said, as one of the officials signalled to him. "My turn."

Despite his determination, he still felt the twist of nerves and apprehension at what he knew was to come. He knew it would hurt, and hurt a lot but he was going to do it anyway. For Sasuke. For himself. And in a way, for his dad. To show him that he was following in his footsteps and honouring his memory through his actions.

"I can still call it quits," Sasuke wasn't scowling anymore, he just looked troubled. "Don't push too hard Naruto. If it gets too bad, stop. I don't want you…"

"Sasuke," Naruto stopped him, reaching a hand down towards him and smiling when he accepted it. "I know. I won't do anything stupid. I'll stop if it hurts too much."

Sasuke nodded, and squeezed his hand before releasing it. He and Kakashi followed as Naruto walked Sora forward to the starting line. He was dressed in more comfortable attire than yesterday in a loose, long sleeved shirt, his protective vest with his medical armband snug around his left bicep.

He lined her up and waited for the starting bell. Sora shifted beneath him, eager to start, and he gathered up the reins, bracing himself for the long course ahead. Thirty two jumps to cover and a deadline to meet meant the pressure was on.

The bell rang and Sora leapt forward into a fast gallop. Naruto settled himself over her neck, acknowledging the twinge in his back and then ignoring it. The wind whipped into his face and roared past his ears, and the first jump was approaching fast.

The cross country consisted of a mix of jumps that included natural looking obstacles and man-made ones. Log fences, creeks, hedges and uphill jumps were all included, and Sora had practised them all. She loved the speed, she loved the adrenaline, and despite her fears of jumping and the water jump in particular she loved the race.

Naruto gave her more rein, and let her jump and gallop onwards as she would. It wasn't so much about winning anymore as it was about completing the event. So he didn't worry about their time, or their penalties. He guided her through the jumps, feeling his back become more painful with each landing, but urging her onwards anyway.

He felt her tense as they approached the water jump, and knew she would refuse, so he dug his knees in firmly and, surprised, she leapt over and landed in the small pool of water with a great splash, before surging up and out. She then kicked up her speed another notch and then they were really flying. He was soaking wet, and sweating and in pain, but the exhilaration was too great to call it quits.

After that, the rest of the course seemed like a breeze, in spite of his growing discomfort. He knew he would regret it tomorrow, but there was no way he was letting Sora down.

As they approached the final jumps, he could feel her tiring beneath him, but she continued on, over the uphill jump, over the hedge jump and clearing the log stack like a breeze. And then they were on the straight, and Sora sped up once more, stretching out as fast as she could and covering the ground in ground eating strides.

His back was so sensitive it was feeling every stride now, but the end was fast approaching, and they blew past it before he realised it. He slowed her to a canter, and then a trot before eventually a standstill, where he hunched over her neck, breathing through the pain. The painkillers were doing their job, so he wasn't feeling the full extent of it yet, but he would be soon enough.

Sasuke and Kakashi rushed up and they were grinning at him in unison.

"You were fantastic, Naruto, well done!" Kakashi beamed at him, and patted Sora's neck proudly.

Sasuke squeezed his knee, and then helped him slide carefully off Sora's back, easing him back onto his feet. He would have fallen to his knees had Sasuke let go of him, but he didn't. Sasuke kept an arm around his waist and slung Naruto's around his neck.

Genma came over then, and handed Naruto his pills and a bottle of water.

"Good work Naruto. You pulled it off!" Genma scuffed his hair and Naruto laughed, elated at being able to finish.

He scratched Sora's ears and gave her a strong pat.

"It was all her. She did all of the work, I was just a passenger," he grinned.

"Well, I'll take good care of your girl then," Genma replied as he swung into the saddle. "She'll get a good cool down, then a nice bath and then back to her warm stable."

"Thanks, Genma," Naruto smiled at his friend, then allowed Sasuke to sit him down in a nearby chair. His lover crouched beside him, and steadied himself by keeping a hand on Naruto's leg.

Kakashi stood beside him with a hand on his shoulder as they waited patiently for the score to be released. Naruto pulled off his helmet and hung his head as he scratched a hand through his sweaty hair. His back was really screaming at him now, but it wouldn't be long before he had a hot shower, and a nap, so he ignored it to the best of his ability and took another drink from his bottle.

Applause began as his score was released, and Naruto squinted at the board, then smiled when he realised that he had placed third. There were still a few competitors left to compete though, so it wasn't a sure thing. But Naruto wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony if he did manage to retain his position, because he was reaching the edge of his pain threshold.

"Well done, Naruto," Kakashi said, scuffing his hair and pressing a kiss to his head. "You've made me and everyone else proud today. Now go with Sasuke and rest. I'll stay here and keep an eye on things."

Naruto smiled up at one of his closest friends.

"Thanks," he said softly, feeling like he was about to collapse as the tiredness set in.

"Let's get out of here," Sasuke said, helping Naruto to his feet.

There was a car not too far away, and Naruto fought the temptation of sleep the entire ride back to the hotel. Sasuke was quiet as he helped Naruto into the shower, then joined him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly as the hot water coursed over them both.

Naruto closed his eyes and savoured the feeling of Sasuke's body behind him, loving the feel of silky skin stretched over hard, toned muscle holding him safe.

Hot lips brushed his neck, and then Sasuke rested his cheek against Naruto's hair.

"I'm so proud of you, Naruto," Sasuke whispered over the roaring water. "And I know that your father would be too."

Naruto's chest was tight with emotion, but he nodded in acknowledgement, and knew that Sasuke's words were true.

He ended up crashing after their shower, falling into a deep sleep that no one had been able to rouse him from. He had missed the ribbon ceremony, but Genma had accepted on his behalf. Naruto had also missed Sasuke's cross country performance, which was a great disappointment to him, but Sasuke didn't seem to mind. Sasuke had placed first in the competition, Naruto had found out later, and he felt a swelling of pride at that.

He had been woken for a while around six in the evening by Sasuke pressing kisses to his cheek and telling them that their flight was due to leave soon. Once they were on the plane though, he fell straight back asleep, content in the knowledge that Sasuke was reading quietly right beside him and they were heading for home.

TBC.


	33. The Saddest Thing I Know

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and all other characters belong to their rightful owner. I claim no ownership!

**Warnings:** Yaoi, Sasuke/Naruto, swearing, some violence, angst and graphic scenes. Don't like don't read.

**Author's Notes**: Having gone back through the previous chapters of this story, I discovered that I wrote that it was near winter and Christmas at the beginning. To clear up a few issues, in the previous few chapters where I have said that the weather has been sunny and clear, they are actually in a different part of the country. In Australia, winter here is cold, but the days are sunny and sometimes warm in the sun. Other parts of the country get a lot of snow. So this applies to this story! Hope that made sense…

* * *

**Chapter 31: The Saddest Thing I Know**

_Some say the heart is just like a wheel  
When you bend it you can't mend it  
And my love for you is like a sinking ship  
My heart is on that ship out in mid-ocean_

Heart Like a Wheel by The Corrs

* * *

Naruto took a deep breath before knocking quietly on Sakura's door. They had been home for a week and a half, and he had hardly seen Sakura at all. The dorm that they all shared since their return had been a tense and uneasy place. Now that the competition was over, everything had become focused on his relationship with Sasuke, and it made him highly uncomfortable.

He had been laid up in bed for three days following the cross country course and he had spent most of that time asleep. Sasuke had visited a few times, but Naruto had been so drowsy that conversation hadn't been possible.

The door opened slightly before him, and he was faced with a dishevelled and tired looking Sakura, who glared at him and made to shut the door again.

"Sakura, wait…" he pleaded, putting his hand on the door. "Can we talk for a moment? I want to apologise."

"It's a little late for that don't you think?" She snapped, but she stepped back after a moment's hesitation. "Close the door behind you."

The radio was playing softly in her room, and he glanced around. Her bed was bigger than Naruto's and took up a large portion of the room. On her chest of draws there was a TV and dvd player, and an entire wall was taken up with a massive wardrobe. An old and worn looking armchair was placed beneath the window, and Sakura returned to this once he had entered and closed the door.

Clothes were spread across the floor, along with books and magazines, and the bedclothes were a mess of twisted sheets and strewn pillows.

"Well? I haven't got all night, you know. And I'm sure _you _have better things you could be doing," Sakura told him sharply, not looking up from the magazine she was reading.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair before really looking at his friend. She was putting on a casual air, but he could see that she hadn't been sleeping well and that she was feeling down.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly. "I should have been honest with you from the start."

"I would have thought that you owed me that much at least, seeing as we've been friends for almost five years now," she replied curtly.

"You deserved the truth, I know that. But I…I was afraid. I didn't know what was happening with Sasuke until…. And by then I was felt so guilty I didn't know how to tell you…"

She threw aside her magazine and stood up then, her green eyes blazing with anger and hurt.

"You still should have told me! Instead you stood there and listened to me blathering on like a fool when you knew all along that it was hopeless!" she shouted. "Have you any idea how humiliating that is? I feel like such an _idiot!_"

She whirled away from him and walked over to her dresser, slamming one of the draws closed.

"I suppose you've told Sasuke everything I told you," she said bitterly at a more normal level. "No! I would never do that, Sakura," he told her desperately. "You have to realise…you have to know that…that I love him. And I didn't think that he would ever love me back."

"And lucky you, you get the guy of your dreams. Never mind that you have to trample your friends to get what you want, even though I would have never do anything to hurt you, even if our positions were reversed."

She turned around to look at him, accusation and betrayal in her eyes. Tears ran silently down her cheeks, and he watched with his heart in his throat as she angrily wiped them away.

"I trusted you, and you lied to my face. I don't…I can't do this Naruto," she sighed, covering her face with a hand.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, helplessly. "I want to make this right. I don't want to lose you."

"I think you should leave now…I don't want to do this now."

With a sinking heart, he moved closer to her. "Please. Please, Sakura," he whispered, carefully pulling her into an embrace as tears began to fall. The pain he felt in his chest because of the way he had hurt her so badly was threatening to choke him. Misery and shame so thick was threatening to make him break down.

"I'm so, so sorry."

For a moment, she relaxed against him, grasping his jumper in her fists.

"No. I can't forgive this, Naruto. Not now, or ever," she said in a shaky voice as she pushed him away. "I'm sorry for hitting you. I shouldn't have done that. But I don't think we can be friends any more if I can't trust you."

"Sakura…."

"Go!" she said more firmly. "And please leave me alone for a while. I think it would be best for everyone if we avoided each other."

Devastated, and a little bewildered by her decision, he backed away, and slipped out the door. For a moment, he leaned shakily against the wall, covering his face with his hands as he breathed out slowly.

"Naruto?" a voice called out tentatively.

He looked up to see Kiba approaching cautiously down the hall.

"I er…I heard yelling," Kiba explained, glancing at him and then looking away. "Thought I'd come and see if everything is okay."

Discretely wiping away his tears, Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, Kiba. Thanks."

"Look I…" Kiba started to say, looking highly uncomfortable. Naruto watched him sadly. Kiba had barely spoken to him since he had been so publically outed by Sakura, and it hurt him to think that such a thing could come between their friendship. It seemed the only thing he was good at was driving people away.

"Never mind," Kiba mumbled. He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "I'd better go. Kakashi needs me, and all that."

He watched as his tall, lanky friend turned away and hunched his shoulders as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Naruto felt lonely, and it ripped at him harshly, after such a long time knowing that he was safe and supported by friends.

Scrubbing at his face again, he made his way outside and sat himself down on the sheltered back steps. The freezing cold bit at him, making him shiver and huddle in on himself. Chance came running up to him, desperate for someone to play with him, but Naruto smoothed his hands over the dogs' silken coat and looked into the lively brown eyes, wondering if the young dog would eventually end up being his only friend.

* * *

"Really, mother?" Sasuke sighed, slumping back in his seat. "Another charity ball? Don't you get tired of hosting these events?"

Mikoto smiled indulgently at him as she poured herself another cup of tea.

"Why Sasuke, you're barely here throughout the year, and you hardly ever come to these events of mine. How can you possibly be complaining about them?" she chided gently.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. These events of his mother's that he was forced to attend whilst he was home meant that he had to socialise with the higher ups in society, his father's business partners and potential wives for both he and Itachi. In order words, boring chit chat and fending off the unwanted advances of young women who claimed to be in love with him. And it wasn't just him who got such unwanted attention. It was worse for Itachi, who was seen as the heir to the Uchiha fortune, despite the fact that Sasuke got an almost equal share.

"You know what I mean, mother," he grumbled, taking a biscuit and crumbling a piece between his fingers. "Besides, I have things to do."

"Like?" she arched an eyebrow at him and he sunk lower in his chair, feeling like a small child once more who was being indulged with amusement by his gentle mother.

"Just…university stuff. Christmas stuff, you know."

"Hmmm," she looked away out the window, nursing the hot cup of tea in her hands.

Sasuke followed her gaze and looked out the window as well. The snow had finally begun to fall a couple of days ago, turning everything pure white and sparkling. Sasuke had always loved snow, loving the way it turned the ordinary day into something magical, cleansing the dirty buildings and transforming them into something new.

He didn't mind the cold either, although he knew that Naruto felt it particularly keenly. The blond had been forced to spend most of his time indoors since their return from the competition. Because of this, he had sensed that Naruto's spirits had fallen. In combination with the tough situation their relationship had forced them into, with the cold weather and the lingering pain in his back, Naruto had slipped into a pensive and quiet mood that was all too reminiscent of the Naruto that he had first met.

"Sasuke?" his mother said, obviously repeating herself.

"Hmm?"

"Your father will be attending this year," she said quietly, watching him closely.

It was a struggle to keep his automatic scowl hidden from view, but his mood had already begun to sour at the thought of spending any amount of time with his father. The man had a knack for making one feel like he was less than worthy to be in the man's presence, and his sons were no exception. Sasuke hated feeling like his was being judged, and in combination with the constant pressure to perform well at university and begin a long and boring career at one of the families companies made Sasuke feel as if the walls were closing in on him. It made him want to leave, and escape it all for something better. He had dreams of his own that had been pushed aside for too long now, and perhaps it was Naruto's influence, but he was beginning to want to pursue them. His patience with the pressure and nagging had become remarkably thin recently, and he knew that there would be many arguments and fights to come.

It also didn't help that he knew how his father would react should he ever find out about Naruto. He would severely reprimand Sasuke, possibly even restrict the few freedoms he was actually permitted, and he would fire Naruto within a heartbeat.

Sasuke wouldn't stand for that. There was not a chance in hell that he would let Naruto lose his job and the life he had come to rely on, no matter how tough it may be presently.

"I know that you and your father have been at…odds recently," Lady Mikoto said delicately. "But it would be pleasant if you two could spend some time together this Christmas. He has missed you, I know."

This time, Sasuke couldn't prevent his snort from escaping. "Yeah, sure. He's missed pushing me around, more like it."

"Sasuke. That's not true and you know it," his mother sighed, carefully placing her cup down on the saucer. "You two have grown apart, that is true. But he loves you dearly, even if he doesn't always show it the way you would like."

"The way I would like? Mother, he is constantly trying to push me into a career that I have no desire for! He's not even open to discussing what I would like to do. He tries to control my every action."

"Sasuke, that's not how he views it. He only wants to best for you," his mother replied sadly.

"By treating me like a child who is unable to make his own decisions?" Sasuke asked, sick and tired of the same old arguements. "When he is ready to let me pursue my own career, let me know. I won't be holding my breath."

He stood abruptly, placing his napkin on the table. "Thank you for the tea, Mother. I shall see you for dinner," he said, unable to walk away without being polite. And curse his proper upbringing for that too.

"Sasuke…" his mother called after him, but he closed the door quietly behind himself. With a frustrated shake of the head, he decided that it was time to exercise Taira for the day, and to visit Naruto, who would be able to calm his restless anger without even a word.

* * *

"Naruto," a deep, familiar voice spoke from behind him, and he turned around to see Sasuke approach.

He was standing ankle deep in the snow, with one foot and his folded arms resting on the wooden fence before him as he watched two of the horses frolicking in the fresh snow. They were definitely warm enough, with their heavy winter rugs on, and were certainly enjoying the experience, kicking up the heels and tossing their heads around.

Naruto wasn't enjoying the cold so much. He was warmly rugged up with two jumpers and a thick jacket, with a scarf around his neck and gloves warming his frigid hands. But it was the sight of Sasuke that warmed his belly and made him smile, despite his serious thoughts.

"Hi," he smiled at Sasuke, and accepted the kiss on his cheek, knowing that there wasn't anyone around.

"Hey," Sasuke replied, glancing at the horses. "Can you spare some time away? I thought we could take a walk."

Naruto nodded readily, and Sasuke took his hand and they walked together towards the woods. Sasuke was dressed warmly as well, but didn't seem to mind the cold as much as he did.

Sasuke seemed in a preoccupied mood, and Naruto was content to walk beside him in silence, the crunch of the snow beneath their boots loud in the startling silence that snow brought with it.

It was only once they were well into the woods on one of the lesser used riding trails that Sasuke sighed loudly and shrugged his shoulders, as if releasing a great burden.

"Is everything okay?" Naruto finally asked. "You seem upset."

Sasuke shot him a smile and squeezed his hand through their gloves.

"Yeah. Everything's okay," Sasuke released his hand and pulled him closer, laying an arm around his shoulders. "My mother is holding a Christmas charity ball, and once again, I am forced to attend and put up with the boring conversation and blatant innuendo."

Naruto slid an arm around Sasuke's waist. "Still, won't it be nice to see some of your friends? It is Christmas, after all."

"None of my friends will be there. Gaara and the others left a couple of days ago. The only people who will be there are my father's business associates and my mother's friends." Sasuke said, seemingly returning to his irritated mood. "But that's not the worst of it."

"Why? What else is there?"

"My father is coming home," Sasuke sighed. "This is going to be a horrible Christmas, I can see it now."

Naruto absorbed this in silence, looking down the where their feet were trampling the fresh, crisp snow. Icicles hung from the branches above them, and snow had started to fall softly all around them, bringing a whole new level of muffled silence.

"Surely it won't be that bad?" Naruto raised a hand and brushed snow out of his hair.

"Well, not all bad," Sasuke relented, pressing a kiss to his head. "But Christmas is never a time that I have particularly enjoyed with my family, even when I was a child."

Naruto felt sadness grip his heart at hearing this. It seemed to him that Sasuke had not had a particularly carefree childhood, and it saddened him that he had been deprived of the innocent naivety of Christmas.

Sasuke seemed to sense this and smiled down at him, this time pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, don't feel bad for me," he said. "There are good things about Christmas too. This Christmas I get to spend it with you."

Naruto smiled at him, grateful to have a Christmas at last where he wasn't desperately lonely and unhappy.

They walked on, both enjoying the quiet and the peace that had engulfed them. The snow that engulfed them in its cold embrace brought back a sense of wonder that Naruto though he had lost a long time ago. And with it came a tidal wave of memories of Christmas's past spent with his father in youthful happiness. Eventually, the rush of memories became too great, and he felt the compulsion to tell Sasuke, his best friend, his confidant and his lover.

"When I was a young, my father always tried to make Christmas fun for us, even though my mother wasn't with us. We'd always cook together and make too much food, and he'd take me ice skating or tobogganing after we'd eaten," Naruto smiled as he remembered, grateful for a memory that wasn't too painful. "He always gave me many presents. I think now that…that he was trying to compensate for me not having a mother at Christmas. But also because he was always sad."

Sasuke pulled him closer as Naruto thought for a moment, remembering his father's bright gold hair and sky blue eyes. He remembered the way his father would encase him in his strong arms, holding him warm and safe as they sped down the hill on their old, plastic toboggan. He remembered the snowball fights, the fast chases on the ice, and the warm, hearty goodness of Christmas food and a blazing fire.

"Sometimes I couldn't sleep after all the sugar, you know?" Sasuke smiled with him when he said this. "So I used to sneak out of bed to see what my dad was doing. He always sat staring into the fire with a glass ofport or whiskey in his hand. It was the only day of the year that he allowed himself a drink. I think he missed her the most during the holidays."

Sasuke remained silent for a long moment and kicked at a mound of snow, watching as it flew up into the air and drifted slowly back to the frozen ground.

"Things between me and my father haven't been good for a long time now. I wish…I just wish he would actually _listen_ to me for a change, and ask what I think before he orders me to do things," Sasuke said, staring at the ground. "I _want _to be closer to him but…it's out of my hands."

Sasuke sighed after another long silence, tucking Naruto closer under his arm.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

TBC

A/N: It just so happens that my birthday is on christmas day, which is the reason why I love christmas so much. They were magical times when I was a kid…


	34. Letters From the Sky

**Disclaimer:** The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I claim no ownership of them.

**Warning:** Angst, Yaoi (Sasuke x Naruto), swearing and some violence. Don't read if you don't like this kind of stuff.

**Author's Note**: Back at uni now, so updates may be a little slower than the last few chapters posted.

* * *

**Chapter 32: Letters from the Sky**

_It's not a silly little moment,  
It's not the storm before the calm.  
This is the deep and dying breath of  
This love that we've been working on._

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer

* * *

Naruto slipped into the frantically busy kitchen, tugging at his uncomfortable tie once more. It was the day before Christmas eve and Lady Mikoto's Christmas charity ball was in full swing.

Many of the stable hands had been roped into working as waiters and waitresses, along with the house and kitchen staff. Not that it was much of a hardship, considering the more than generous Christmas bonus that the lady of the house had organised as a reward for a couple of hours of easy work.

Naruto was more than happy to help, because it meant that he got to see how the other half lived. Not to mention, he also had the opportunity to observe Sasuke in a setting unlike any of the others he had seen him in before.

The only downside to the whole thing was that he had to dress up in a tuxedo, complete with waist coat and tie. He was unused to wearing such expensive and formal clothes, and he felt acutely uncomfortable.

The Uchiha mansion was like something out of a picture book. It was covered in snow and glittering icicles, the extra decorations made it sparkle and twinkle. Lights decorated the driveway and the eves of the house, and festive decorations were strung up everywhere. Beautifully decorated Christmas trees were dotted around the house, and Naruto had to consciously stop himself from staring in wide eyed wonder.

The main hall had been opened up, and filled with stylishly decorated tables. Blazing fires warmed the house against the chill of the winter evening.

Men and women filled the main hall, dressed as perfectly as if they had been painted. All of them were beautiful, no matter their age, and he supposed that being associated with the Uchiha family had certain requirements, although the very idea made his skin itch.

Sasuke was there, moving amongst the crowd, stopping to talk to some and politely greeting others. Naruto watched the way he moved fluidly through the crowd, not stopping for long but not being rude either. There was no denying that he had a certain skill for making people feel as if they mattered. They respected him and it was obvious that many also admired him. A warm feeling infused his chest at the thought of his lover being so treasured, even if he didn't know it.

But the thing that was nagging at him was the presence of that cool, blank mask that had rattled Naruto so back when they had been strangers to one another. There was no animation on his face, no warmth in his eyes, or quirking of an eyebrow that spoke of his humour.

Naruto shook himself out of his wandering thoughts and slipped back to the kitchen to grab another tray of champagne. He had been studiously avoiding Uchiha Fugaku, Sasuke's father. He appeared to be a stern and serious man, and strangely enough, a rather ordinary looking one. Sasuke's father was slightly shorter than Sasuke himself, and of a slimmer build than both his sons. It was apparent that Itachi and Sasuke had inherited their stunning looks from their mother.

"Naruto," a quiet voice spoke from behind him. "You're looking well."

Startled, he turned as quickly as possible with the tray in his hand to find Itachi standing there watching him and looking very sophisticated in his expensive suit.

"T-thank you itachi-sama," he managed as he tried to hide his nerves. "Can I get you anything?"

A smile that didn't reached his eyes tugged briefly at Itachi's mouth.

"I'm fine, thank you," he paused for a moment. "I heard you and Sasuke achieved great things at the competition. Well done."

Naruto smiled nervously at the older Uchiha and wondered what he wanted. It wasn't every day that Itachi was seen talking to the servants, as he appeared to have adopted his father's attitude towards the staff that worked at his residences. But if he was anything like his brother, Itachi had hidden depths that were extremely well concealed and hard to find. He wasn't so sure that he was comfortable having Itachi probe into his personal life though.

"Thank you," he replied simply. He wasn't sure what else he was supposed to say to that compliment.

"I also have heard rumours of your….friendship with Sasuke. It appears that you have taken my advice to heart," Itachi was watching him very closely, his eyes sharp.

Naruto struggled to mask the flash of fear that he experienced at those words. The way he had phrased the statement made it seem like he had been asked to perform a duty in forming a relationship with his younger brother. And to make it even worse, he spotted Sasuke walking up behind Itachi with a frown on his face. He was also pretty sure that Sasuke had heard his brothers' words.

"Itachi. I believe that father is looking for you."

"Sasuke," Itachi replied, turning to face him slightly. "I trust you are enjoying mother's little party?"

Little party? Naruto wondered to himself silently. If this was actually a little party in Uchiha terms then he would eat his shoe. Despite his nervousness, he was intrigued and curious to see how the two Uchiha brothers interacted. He had never had the opportunity to see it first hand before, but from the way that Sasuke spoke, there was more than a small amount of bitterness between them.

"As much as one can, I suppose," Sasuke replied, sounding bored. "Are you finished bothering the staff? Father is beginning to get frustrated. I believe he wants to show you off some more."

A brief expression of irritation crossed Itachi's face and he turned away with a little wave of his hand.

"I guess it's my turn to do the rounds then. Later, little brother," he said, with another sharp, assessing look in Naruto's direction.

Naruto breathed a silent sigh of relief once he was gone, relieved to have dodged that particular bullet for the time being. He looked up to find Sasuke struggling to hide his grin.

"What?" he blinked at the Uchiha.

"You've changed Naruto. You shook like a leaf when we first met, and now you're making casual conversation with my brother, who is considered to be the scarier of the two of us."

Naruto shrugged. "I guess I've gained some perspective since then. Mostly because of you, I think."

The smile slipped from Sasuke's face as he looked at Naruto in an unconscious imitation of the way his brother had been doing a moment ago.

"You've changed me too," Sasuke told him after a moment. "A couple of months ago I would have stayed for as little time as possible before going somewhere quiet and drinking myself into a stupor."

And there it was. Another hint into Sasuke's past that he had never considered before. They may be from different sides of the tracks but they had both experienced that same loneliness and need for an escape. Sasuke may have gone about it differently than he did, through drinking or sex, but it was still a desperate need to get away to something different. Perhaps that was what had drawn them together, and together they had found what they had needed.

"About what Itachi was saying…" Naruto began, biting his lip. "It wasn't like…."

"Forget it, Naruto," Sasuke interrupted him. "It doesn't mean anything. Besides, I know that even if he had asked you to do something like that, you wouldn't have."

Such faith in his character touched Naruto, and made his blush. Coming from someone with such strength of character and beautiful imperfections as Sasuke had made him feel warm all the way through. Sasuke never failed to take his breath away because of his personality as well as his looks.

And he did look handsome. Whilst he had obviously made some effort to fit in to the glamour of the evening and looked amazing in his black suit and white shirt, he had rebelled a little by forgoing any sort of waistcoat or tie. His jacket was open, and he looked simple and yet unbelievably sophisticated at the same time. Naruto had spotted the frown that Sasuke's father had shot him when he had seem Sasuke's choice of clothing and his mother's indulgent smile and wondered if Sasuke was purposefully trying to rebel against his father or if it were an innate need that he wasn't aware of. He had also noticed the women of all ages eyeing both Sasuke and Itachi appreciatively.

"I have to go," Sasuke scowled, looking across the room. "They're about the serve dinner. I'll see you later?"

Naruto nodded and Sasuke brushed their hands together as he turned to leave. Naruto hid his smile as he turned around and headed for the kitchen, not missing the way that Sakura had been watching them.

* * *

Naruto looked around the room, still amazed at all of the lavish dresses and tuxedos, although now that were all seated and looking towards the front of the room, where Uchiha Fugaku was standing in preparation to speak.

All of the staff were at the back of the hall, waiting for the signal to start bringing out the food once the head of the Uchiha family had finished his speech.

Naruto looked back at Sasuke who was seated next to his mother, and looking like he was either incredibly bored or incredibly irritated. Sometimes it was hard to tell them apart.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to my home," Fugaku started, his voice smooth and deep and surprisingly a lot like Sasuke's. "I trust that this festive season has found everyone in good fortune and spirits."

It was hard not to miss the way that the man held the attention of the entire room. He certainly had the power to captivate an audience, which was probably what had made him so successful in his career.

"I have some excellent news that I would like to share with all of you, our dearest friends and business associates. It has come to my attention recently that both of my sons are good men, who are more than capable of assisting me in the running of this family's business empire."

At the mention of Sasuke, Naruto stood a little straighter and focused on Fugaku's words. He also noticed that Sasuke was watching his father closely, with a frown on his face. He was definitely paying attention now.

"In order to carry on the family name and business, it is essential that both of my eligible sons marry, and produce heirs that can consolidate this family's future. In light of this, a deal has been struck with close family friends, the Subaku's and it has been decided that my youngest son, Sasuke will marry the beautiful young lady Temari."

Naruto went cold all over, frozen to the spot like a deer in headlights. A heavy ball of disbelief was weighing his stomach down, and he barely registered Kakashi gripping his elbow as the tray he was holding began to shake. He couldn't help but notice how Sasuke had frozen too, staring at his father in shock.

"May they have a happy future together," Uchiha raised his glass and everyone toasted as conversation started back up.

The noise around him was so loud he could barely breathe and he could feel himself starting to panic. Someone had taken the tray from his hands and there were people all around him talking to him, asking him questions, but he couldn't hear them over the roaring in his head. Somehow, he managed to push his way through them and fled, ignoring the people calling after him.

* * *

Naruto shivered as the frigid wind whipped up scurries of snow from the ground. The moon was bright, turning the world into a black, white and grey picture in which the pain he felt was like a knife through the chest.

He hadn't been able to face the thought of people coming to find him and answering their concerned questions, so he had walked through the snow covered trees to the place where their friendship had begun. Not ten meters away from him was the spot where he had found Sasuke, soaked to the skin and unconscious from his fall.

It felt like someone had reached into his chest and was trying to crush his heart in their hand.

_Sasuke was engaged_.

He prayed like hell that Sasuke hadn't known about it, because that would be a betrayal that he could never recover from.

It killed him to think that it was over already. He had had some hope that they would be together for a while yet to come, but their relationship had been snatched from him with a few artfully spoken words, and in front of a room full of people. He had felt the knowing gazes of his friends and hadn't been able to face their sympathy.

Not for the first time in his life, he wondered why things always seemed to go wrong for him, and if they would ever start going the way that he wanted them to for a change. At this point, it didn't seem likely.

He tensed as he heard footsteps crunching through the snow towards him, but he didn't turn around. He had a sneaking suspicion of who it would be.

He did jump when a warm coat was settled around his shoulders.

"You're going to get sick, sitting out here like this." Sasuke said quietly, his voice rough. Naruto looked up at him, his throat constricted and his chest heavy. He couldn't think of a thing to say to the man he loved so much.

Sasuke sat next to him on the old log and pulled him close. Naruto burrowed into him, shaking like a leaf but unable to cry. He hurt too much for that.

"Did you know?" he whispered, a long time later. "Did you know that he had…."

"Of course not. I had no idea," Sasuke said harshly, and there was no mistaking the anger in his voice.

Naruto looked up at him, and watched him as he stared across the clearing. There was anger, and desperation and pain in his distant eyes, and he was so tense and still beside him. Naruto had never seen him like this, and it was as if the shock of it had both of them in its fierce grip.

He knew soon though, that Sasuke would shake it off and get angry. He would be furious and then everything would go downhill from there. Naruto knew deep in his heart what Sasuke was going to do, and he resigned himself to the anger and pain of the days to come. Sasuke was nothing, if not obstinate and fiercely independent. He would not take this latest development lying down.

"Don't worry, Naruto," Sasuke said, his voice strengthening. "I'll fix this. It's not going to happen."

Denial was his old companion, and Naruto knew that you could not deny the truth forever. This wasn't going to end well for either of them, but he wouldn't stand by and watch Sasuke lose everything. There was no way that he could stop Sasuke from confronting his father, but he realised that it was Sasuke's battle to fight, and that he needed to realise the truth on his own. It wasn't something that Naruto could do for him.

"Sasuke…" he said helplessly.

"I'll fix it, Naruto. Everything will be okay," he murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

They could both hear the quiet desperation in his voice.

* * *

Sasuke didn't bother to knock on his father's study door before opening it. He had spent the night awake in his bed, moving from shock to disbelief and straight on to white hot fury. He could not bring himself to believe that his own father could be so callous and uncaring as to take away his freedom in this way.

Sure, they had had their problems and disagreements in the past but it defied belief that after such a long, silent absence between them, he would turn up and dump this on him without so much as a by your leave. A conversation beforehand would have been nice. An opportunity to give his flat out refusal would have been appreciated. He was unwilling to compromise this time. He was ready to fight with everything that he had to stop this.

He wasn't ready to let Naruto go. He had seen the pain in his lover's eyes last night, and had felt it reflected in his own heart. There was no way he was going to let Naruto suffer because of his father's short comings.

Uchiha Fugaku may not have been big in stature, but in sheer force of personality, he had everyone beaten hands down. His strength of character and ability for public speaking gave him a power that Sasuke likened to that which Hitler had possessed. He had an irritating ability to override a person's own opinions and make them think that his opinions were correct. A dictator in his own right, Sasuke had once been scared of his father, back when he had loved him regardless. Over the long years, that love had been tarnished and worn down by bitterness and loathing. Even more so, now that he had announced to the world that Sasuke was to marry a complete stranger.

"Sasuke," he father acknowledged tonelessly as he wrote something on the papers before him. "I wondered when you would be making an appearance."

Sasuke stopped in front of his desk, anger making him unable to speak. His silence gained his father's attention, and he glanced up at his younger son before continuing his work.

"Ah. I gather that you are angry with me. Out with it then. Say your piece," his father said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"You think this is funny? You think that toying with my life and playing me like a puppet is a game?" Sasuke spat, almost shaking with the force of his rage. "I don't care what is going on in that messed up head of yours, but I'm not going along with it this time, father. You can't brow beat me into submission like you used to."

"Sasuke, I won't be spoken to in this manner," his father said sharply, sitting back in his leather chair. "This is for your own good and the good of this family. It is a good match. You will be happy."

"Happy? With a complete stranger?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "And what about what I want? Did you even think to ask me that?"

"I've been waiting for you to find someone to settle down with for a while now, Sasuke. Is there a girl that you haven't told me about? Is that what this is about?"

Sasuke had to physically bite his tongue to keep the words from spilling out like venom. No way was he going to out Naruto or reveal their relationship to this uncaring snake of a man, no matter how angry he was.

"For god's sake there is no girl, father," he whirled away, walked to the window and then returned. "This is about having the right to choose who I spent my life with, and not having that choice taken away from me!"

His father clasped his hands together and regarded him calmly.

"I made this choice, Sasuke, because I have heard of your exploits with your little friends at University, and I am tired of making excuses for you behaviour. It is time you settled down and lived up to your responsibility to your family."

"What I do with my time is none of your business," Sasuke snapped, not wanting to know how or what his father had found out. It didn't bear thinking about. "I refuse to marry this girl."

His father leaned forward, resting his elbows on his beautiful, hand carved enormous desk.

"You will, or you will suffer the consequences," he replied, his voice steely and his eyes hard. "I won't tell you again to toe the line, Sasuke. I have had enough of your childish ways. I only want what's best for you."

Yet again, he had to force himself not to say the horrible words that were rolling around in his head. There were so many spiteful things that he could say, but he was too angry to let himself. His fists were clenched, nails drawing blood, and he was trembling with the force of his emotions. He could feel his pulse pounding throughout his body and he was breathing harder than normal.

"I can see that you are overwrought," the man sitting before him said, with a dismissive look. "We will talk about this more when you have calmed down and are able to see sense. Go now Sasuke, I have work to do."

It was like a flashback to his childhood, that dismissal. But he knew from long experience that his father would not engage in further conversation. His father never did anything that he didn't want to do.

Sasuke turned and left without a word.

TBC


	35. No Promises

**Disclaimer:** The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. This work of fiction is produced for no profit whatsoever.

**Warnings:** Scenes of a **GRAPHIC NATURE. **This means sex between two men (ie. **SLASH**). Please do not read is this kind of thing offends you. This chapter also contains some swearing and angst.

**Authors Note**: Hello loyal readers! I'm sorry this chapter is so long in the making. My excuses this time include events such as university exams, personal commitments to family (ie. house sitting for TWO houses at the same time!) fitting in part time work and preparing to be a maid of honour in two weeks. In short? My life sucks at the moment…however, I have missed writing this story, and hope this chapter satisfies. On a brighter note, Sasuke and Naruto share a rather intimate scene! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 33: **_**No Promises**_

_Car alarm won't let you get back to sleep  
You're kept awake dreaming someone else's dream  
Coffee is cold, but it'll get you through  
Compromise, that's nothing new to you_

_Electrical Storm by U2_

* * *

Naruto shovelled another load of snow and dirt into the wheel barrow. He had spent all day clearing paths and the arenas after refusing Kakashi's offer of time off. A lot of the stable hands would be leaving soon to spend the holiday with their families, but he had nothing better to do than work.

He was sweaty and dirty and tired and had been distracted all day. The sounds of normal life had drifted over the buildings to reach him, voices and the sounds of the horses sounding mellowed and muffled in the cold air. The sky above was a bright azure blue, as empty as he was feeling. Exhaustion had left him feeling hollowed out, confused and aching. Sleep had been elusive to him the previous night.

He paused in his work to lean against the shovel and rested his forehead against his arms. Now that he had paused to take a break, he didn't want to keep going. He wanted to go and drown himself in a steaming shower and never emerge. He wanted to burrow into his bed and block out the world for the next half a century. There was nothing like pure misery to put things in perspective.

He still hadn't cried. In the past, he used to cry all the time, at the smallest thing and the slightest provocation. It had been a weakness that had caused him to be at the mercy of bullies and he wondered what had changed in the past few months to make him stop crying. He thought that maybe he should have cried, as he was being faced with his lover leaving him for good and the fact that he was despairing of any kind of salvation should have had him crying bucketfuls. But the thought of that made him dread the fact that this was his reality now. He would have to learn to live without Sasuke, and he wasn't strong enough for that, and probably never would be.

Cold air on his sweaty neck made him shiver and he found himself unable to stop. Soon, Kakashi would be calling for all hands to start bringing in the horses for the evening. Soon, he would be avoiding eye contact with his friends and escaping into the lonely solitude of his room for another sleepless night.

"Kakashi wants you," a quiet voice spoke behind him.

He straightened to find Kiba standing there watching him. Kiba had been keeping his distance with him since the competition, being polite with none of their old friendship mixed in. It had hurt him deeply, but there was nothing he could do about it. Whether Kiba's behaviour was because of his sexuality or because he was with Sasuke, he had no idea. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to know anymore. There was too much pain surrounding the whole thing now that he had no idea how to fix any of it. He had lost friends because of his decisions, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he would never get them back.

Naruto straightened up and gathered the last bit of dirt on his shovel, before dumping it in the wheel barrow.

"Okay thanks," he replied quietly, surveying his work for a second before laying the shovel on top of the full barrow.

Kiba was standing behind him silently, watching him, and it was making him nervous.

"I'll take that," Kiba said eventually, stepping forward and taking the handles of the barrow. "You go and see what Kakashi wants."

Naruto hesitated, then nodded as he tucked his work gloves into the pocket of his jeans and turned towards the stable yard.

"Also I….I wanted to say that I'm sorry about Sasuke," Kiba mumbled. "I know it must have hurt you to find out about that."

Naruto kept his head lowered and closed his eyes against the sting of tears.

"Thank you," he murmured in response before hurrying away.

Kakashi was scowling as he watched Sakura and Ten Ten lead horses to their stables. Genma and Raidou were shifting the last of the hay bales that had been delivered that afternoon and Shikamaru was mixing feeds in preparation for the evening fee.

"Naruto, there you are. Did you clear all the paths?" Kakashi asked, distractedly.

Naruto nodded in response and wiped his sweaty forehead on his shirt sleeve.

"Good good. Come with me."

Naruto followed the tall man back towards his office and watched as Kakashi shifted various items off the chairs there; a broken halter, several lead ropes, a jumper and a stack of files were dumped unceremoniously onto the couch before Kakashi waved him to a chair and then took his own on the other side of the desk.

Kakashi scrubbed a hand through his unruly hair and flopped backwards in his chair.

"What a day," he groaned. "Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. One of those days, eh?"

Naruto managed a weak smile for the man who had become his unofficial guardian for the duration of his stay.

"And to make it worse there is still a lot of work that needs to be done and everyone is taking their holiday leave tonight," Kakashi grumbled, half to himself as he rummaged around in his desk draws and came up with a glass and a small bottle of whiskey. He knew better than to ask Naruto of he wanted any.

"Am I being fired?" Naruto blurted, unable to contain his trepidation any longer.

"What?" Kakashi looked up from pouring a glass, startled.

"Am I being fired?"

"No, of course not. What makes you think that?" Kakashi was frowning as he set down the bottle, his drink ignored.

"You never call me in to the office to talk. The only possible thing is…."

Kakashi leaned back in his chair and regarded him thoughtfully.

"I can see why you would think that. But no, I'm not firing you. I do want to talk to you about a few things though."

Naruto waited patiently while Kakashi picked up his drink at last and took a slow sip. Kakashi would not be hurried in anything and it was one of the first lessons he had learned when he had first arrived.

It had been so long ago now that it seemed like a dream. He had arrived at the Uchiha Estate a bruised and lonely soul, who had no friends, no family, no money and a past that dogged his every move.

After his father had died he had been moved first to a temporary home with six other children. He had only been a young teen then, still reeling from the sudden death of his father. From there he had been moved into a group home to await for a placement with a family. He had waited in vain, for the placement had never come. The people who ran the group home hadn't been overtly cruel, but there had been a distance there, a lack of caring that all of the forty eight boys and girls housed there had felt.

It had resulted in the children forming groups, like gangs, that looked after their own. Naruto had not belonged to any such group. He had stood out like a sore thumb, a lone island in the sea of lost souls that was the foster system. And he had paid for that dearly. He had never been good at making friends, and the other children had picked up on that. He had been harassed and bullied daily and it had stressed him out so badly that he hardly ate or slept. The teasing and name calling had escalated over time to pushing and shoving and then to beatings.

Naruto had become used to the pain. It reflected how he was suffering on the inside. That was how he had come to start hurting himself. It was something that was commonplace in that group home, and it had seemed to him like a relief at the time.

When at last the beatings and the harassment had become too much for him, he had given up hope and had tried to kill himself. He had tried, and failed every time, to kill himself six more times after that.

And after a particularly horrible beating, he had almost succeeded on the seventh try. Fortunately for him, some passers-by had found him and taken him to hospital. From there he had been placed in emergency care until a social worker had found him a live in job placement at the Uchiha Estate. He had never looked back since, and it seemed as though that his time at the Estate was drawing to a close.

"Naruto?" Kakashi said curiously. "You zoned out there. You okay?"

Naruto dragged himself away from that particular dark place and refocused his attention on Kakashi.

"Anyway, I was wondering how you've been coping. Have you talked to Sasuke at all?"

Naruto looked down at his dirty hands lying in his lap. The nails had dirt under them, and were cracked and torn. Hard calluses decorated the palms of his hands and the skin was dry and cracked. How different they were to Sasukes, his golden skin against Sasukes pale, flawless skin had seemed so unreal sometimes.

"We've talked," he said softly. "But we haven't…haven't been able to solve anything yet."

Kakashi exhaled quietly as he nursed his glass. They sat in silence for several moments, Naruto feeling Kakashi's contemplative gaze and avoiding eye contact.

"You should know that Sakura has been making noise about leaving," the gray haired man spoke up. "Something about wanting to follow her dreams and advance her career in the entertainment business."

Naruto nodded. He had expected something like that. She had been as distant as ever, never speaking to him directly and avoiding him whenever possible. Since the Christmas ball though, he had felt her calculating gaze on him several times and it had made him horribly uncomfortable.

"I wouldn't blame you if you fired me," Naruto told him tiredly. "I've caused a lot of problems recently that I'm sure you don't need and I never wanted to hurt anyone. I guess I just didn't think…"

"Let's be honest here, Naruto," Kakashi interrupted. "The one who's been hurt the most is you. Frankly I'm not concerned about anyone else. They can deal with their own hang-ups on their own. I'm concerned about you, and how you're dealing with this, which is by ignoring it. You need to sort this out, Naruto. Don't worry about Sasuke, worry about what's best for you right now and in the future."

Kakashi stood up and walked over the book case. He picked up a framed picture and stared at it.

"You're…You're telling me to break up with Sasuke?" Naruto whispered. "I don't think I can do that. I'm not…I can't…"

"I'm not saying that at all," Kakashi carried the picture back with him, and perched on the edge of the desk in front of Naruto. "I'm saying that you need to make a decision based on your best interests. We've all made mistakes, Naruto. Hell, I've made more than my own fair share. I've hurt people, hurt myself and lost things that I've loved."

Kakashi paused, his eyes falling back to the picture.

"I've lost people that I love. But what it all comes down to is being able to live with your decisions for the rest of your life. Because they will stick with you and nag at you and wake you up in the middle of the night for as long as you live, so they had damn well better be the right ones if you ever have a hope of finding some peace of mind."

Kakashi stood up and placed the picture frame on the table where he had been sitting before patting him gently on the shoulder and leaving the office. Naruto sat there quietly for a moment before reaching forward slowly and picking up the picture.

A young Kakashi stood there, grinning with his arm slung around the shoulder of an equally happy dark haired boy. They were both covered in dirt and grinning as if they had conquered the world together. It was a window into another life, one that Naruto had no knowledge of, but even he could see the happiness that radiated from two carefree young boys.

* * *

Naruto was suffused with heat, his skin flushed from the long hot shower he had finally indulged in. He had bade farewell to those of his friends who were still speaking to him as they had left for the Christmas break, and then had escaped into the bathroom and sat under the steaming shower for nearly 45 minutes.

Genma, Raidou, Kakashi and himself were the only ones who were staying over the Christmas break, so the place was rather quiet. But that was okay, because that meant that Naruto didn't have to face anyone if he didn't want to.

He had pulled on warm flannelette pajama pants, and sat shirtless on his bed, toying with his phone for a few long minutes indecisively before finally flipping it open and dialling a number he knew off by heart.

Sasuke picked up after the first ring, sounding weary and hoarse. If Sasuke was feeling anything like he was, then he probably hadn't slept much over the last couple of days. That lack of sleep wore a person down, making every tiny detail in their life seem a thousand times heavier.

"Can you come over?" Naruto asked, his voice almost a whisper. "I need to see you."

"I'll be there in ten," was the immediate response.

Naruto closed his phone with a soft snap, and looked around his small room. The normally tidy haven had become his place of nightmare and heartache. He had been too disheartened and tired to try and clean the place up, and the fact that he didn't care whether or not Sasuke saw it looking so bad spoke volumes for his state of mind.

Naruto knew what he had do next. He knew what the next logical step was, but convincing his heart that it was the right thing to do was another matter entirely.

A few minutes later there was a quiet knock before the door opened and Sasuke slipped in, closing and locking the door behind himself.

They stared at each other for a long, silent moment before Sauske picked his way across the cluttered floor and stood over him. Naruto looked up at him for a moment, before leaning forward and resting his forehead against Sasuke's stomach.

Those slender hands buried themselves in his hair and he heard Sasuke exhaled slowly.

"Naruto…"

"Please," he begged in a whisper. "I don't want to talk right now. I just need to feel you."

"Okay," Sasuke agreed softly. "Okay."

Naruto reached up and ran his hands down Sasuke's chest before carefully undoing his jeans. Sasuke slipped his hands under Naruto's elbows and drew him to his feet so they were standing chest to chest, staring at each other for a long moment before Sasuke claimed his mouth in a hot, desperate kiss.

Within moments, all their troubles slipped from his mind, leaving nothing but what they shared; the desperate embraces and the love that burned so brightly in his heart for this man that had captured his very soul.

Sasuke tipped them gently onto Naruto's unmade bed, and attacked his neck with his hot mouth. He moaned in response as Sasuke settled between his legs, and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's broad, muscled back. He loved everything about this man, from his pale, flawless skin right down to his long, crooked toes.

Naruto was being carried along as a helpless prisoner on the tidal waves of emotion Sasuke was inflicting upon him with his talented hands and mouth. He was vaguely aware of the desperate, keening noises escaping him as he was driven higher and higher on this roller coaster of desire. So he was surprised when Sasuke rolled onto his back and carried Naruto with him so he was sprawled on his chest. But he wasn't given time to adjust, because Sasuke took possession of his mouth again, and was gripping his ass tightly with both hands as he guided Naruto into a delicious rocking motion, grinding their hips and cocks together in a motion that had Naruto tearing his mouth away with a choked off moan and burying his face in Sasuke's sweaty neck.

He had to swallow a cry when Sasuke brushed a finger over his hole in time to their motions. He was so incredibly turned on, and desperate and stupidly in love with Sasuke. There was a tightness in his chest that was waiting to explode, and he knew that it would as soon as Sasuke was inside of him.

As it was, when Sasuke slipped a long finger inside of him, he cried out again as white hot pleasure seared through his veins, making his muscles spasm and his eyes roll back in his head. His orgasm shook his entire body as he spilled his seed all over Sasuke's abdomen. He was sobbing for air as he collapsed once more over Sasuke.

Sasuke pressed a kiss to his ear and ran a soothing hand down his spine. There was still no need for words as he rolled them over once more, and Sasuke kissed him slowly and thoroughly. Naruto shivered as Sasuke one-handedly grabbed a bottle of lube from beside the bed, opened it and squeezed some onto his fingers.

When Sasuke pressed them into him, he moaned again and spread his legs wider for his lover. Sasuke in turn pressed wet kisses to his neck down to his chest and began to lick and suck at his nipples.

It was too long before Sasuke was ever so slowly pushing inside of him, and burying himself deep. It was a sweet, sweet ache that Naruto loved, that he craved and that only Sasuke could fulfil. He lay prone on the bed, with his arms flung above his head in reckless abandon, and his legs wrapped high around Sasuke's waist.

Sasuke slid his hands up Naruto's arms until their hands were clasped tightly as he began to move, long, smooth strokes that were slowly picking up pace as their desperation grew. Naruto was already hard again between them, and their bodies pressed tightly was providing a delicious friction that had his throwing his head back on the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He gripped Sasuke's hands bruisingly tight as he was pushed ever faster towards the edge again.

They were sweaty and breathing hard when Sasuke buried his face in Naruto's neck.

"F-fuck," he panted in Naruto's ear. "I love you. I love you so fucking much."

Moments later, he was coming inside Naruto, pushing deep and staying there as he shuddered. Naruto followed seconds later, almost sobbing as he clutched Sasuke tightly.

They stayed like that, clutching one another for a long time. The sweat cooled on their naked bodies. Sasuke pressed lazy kisses to his shoulder and neck and Naruto was drifting pleasantly on that sweet line between wakefulness and sleep.

Eventually though, Sasuke had to pull out, making Naruto ache. Sasuke said nothing as he scooped up a towel from his floor and cleaned them up quickly before re-joining him on the messy bed. They lay on their sides, pressed chest to chest wrapped around one another, neither one of them willing to let the other go.

Naruto breathed deeply and easily, the tightness in his chest residing a little, for a while at least. His mind and body were at peace for the first time in days, and the very thought of Sasuke and him having to part ways was killing him piece by piece.

He knew what he needed to do. But how was he going to do it? Never had he thought that he would be the one to break Sasuke's heart, and that was another burden of guilt that Naruto knew he would have to learn how to carry.

TBC


	36. Nobody, Nowhere

**Disclaimer:** The concepts and characters of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I claim no ownership of them at all.

**Warnings**: Dark themes in this chapter my friends (which could be triggering for people with depression) along with Angst, Sasuke x Naruto and use of prescription drugs.

**Authors Notes**: I'm so sorry for the delay! December/Christmas was terribly chaotic, and now that I am finally able to slow down I am intent on finishing this story! Don't be mad about what's in this chapter guys, it will get better and it's definitely not the end! There are still more chapters to come, but we are definitely on the home stretch now. (I will give you a hint, I am a believer in happy endings!)

* * *

**Chapter 34: **_**Nobody Nowhere**_

_You see this writing on the wall.  
Oh, angel, you see this curtain fall.  
Good times seem so far away,  
Just a memory, old and grey.  
And there was no one like you.  
You rip apart the clouds in all my days.  
Others all fade away,  
on this long highway._

_Long Highway by The Jezabels_

Naruto was the first to wake the next morning. Sasuke was on his back with his face turned away from him, and gentle pre-dawn light made his skin look like it was glowing. Naruto lay on his side and watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was almost hypnotic, and only weeks ago the same sight inspired such a feeling of peace and serenity that it had made everything seem right in the world.

Now, watching his lover sleep only brought a horrible loneliness and pain that it threatened to choke him. Nothing else mattered, not even the problems he had caused to those he loved, when faced with even the idea of never seeing Sasuke again.

"I suppose there's no use in asking what you're thinking about," Sasuke said quietly, breaking into his dark thoughts.

Naruto jumped and focused on Sasuke's face once more. He managed a weak smile.

"Did you talk to your father?" he asked instead of acknowledging Sasuke's statement.

Sasuke's face transformed into a mask of anger and frustration before he rubbed his hands over his face.

"Yeah, I had the misfortune of spending time in his presence," he muttered.

"And?" he prompted gently. "What did you say to him?"

"He told me that I would have to do it, or I would "suffer the consequences"", Sasuke growled, complete with air quotes. "And I told him that I wouldn't be marrying a complete stranger, no matter how much he tried to force me into it. That's about the time he dismissed me as being "hysterical" and kicked me out."

"What consequences was he talking about?" Naruto forced the words out around the lump in his throat. He already knew what the answer was and once Sasuke acknowledged what he had been afraid of, that would be the seal of their fate stamped red hot across his soul.

Sasuke, however seemed unconcerned at the thought of his father's threats and he shrugged as he stretched his arms above his head.

"He'd probably disown me for awhile, cut me off financially until he realises that I mean what I say. It's not a big deal. In fact, it'd probably be better for both of us if he did. We could be together then," Sasuke turned his head to smile at him beautifully, but Naruto was already shaking him head.

" No Sasuke," he murmured, touching his fingers to Sasuke's mouth softly. "This has gone far enough. I won't be the reason for you being disowned from your family."

"Naruto, it's not your decision to make. We can make it work, I promise. This would be my way out. Don't you see? We can both do what we want and be together," Sasuke said fiercely, turning on his side to gaze at him intently.

"We can make it work," he repeated, and Naruto almost gave in right there.

"I want to," he whispered. "Believe me, I would go with you in a heartbeat. But Sasuke, I have no family. I have nothing to my name except memories, and I wouldn't take you from your family for anything."

"Naruto, you're not listening to me…." Sasuke said, his voice seething with frustration.

"No Sasuke, you're not listening to me," Naruto interrupted, sitting up and taking one of Sasuke's hands in his. He intertwined their fingers and pressed a kiss to the back of Sasuke's.

"I have lived without a family for years now, and it is a torture that I wouldn't wish on anyone. What about your mother? It would break her heart. And I know that you love Itachi, and that he loves you too. Maybe you wouldn't feel it to begin with, but after a while it begins to eat at you. You should be with your family, no matter how hard it may be. "

"What are you saying exactly, Naruto?" Sasuke asked, sitting up abruptly and looking at him straight in the eye.

"You…I love you so much…" Naruto was stumbling now, and on the verge of tears. "I love more that I thought I could ever love anyone, you know that. And if I thought there was a way that we could be together without causing so much pain to other people then I would do it in a heartbeat. I would give up everything for you, but I won't let you give up your only family. I think that it would be best if….if we…If you….You deserve so much better than this, Sasuke. And I can't give it to you."

He couldn't say the words, and the very thought of never having Sasuke with him again made the tears spill down his cheeks. He was trembling from trying so hard not to break down in front of him.

"Naruto…" Sasuke was pulling him close. "We'll find a way. "

"No, Sasuke." Naruto resisted and looked into his eyes. "You know what I'm saying is the truth. I know you do. This is the way that it should be."

"No, Naruto," Sasuke was angry, seething really, and he took hold of Naruto's face in his hands and drew him closer. "It's not. We are meant to be together. I know it and you know it. There has to be a way to make it work. Give me a chance to make things right."

Naruto covered Sasuke's hands on his face with him own and managed a quivering smile.

"No Sasuke. I know we were meant to be with each other, but this is the right thing to do. You need your family, more than you know. And maybe…." He took a deep breath. "Maybe when you've made your peace with them, and things have settled down, we can be together again. But it would break my heart to be the reason you lose your family."

"Please, Naruto, I'm begging you." Sasuke closed his eyes and tipped their heads together. "Please."

At his heartbroken, and softly spoken words, more tears flowed down his face, and he fought down his sobs.

"No Sasuke," he whispered. "You need to go now."

His hands were still warm on Naruto's face, his hair soft on Naruto's forehead, and he closed his eyes and they sat still for long moments, bathed in early morning sunlight as if they were frozen in time, and the rest of the world didn't exist.

And then in a flurry of movement and silence, Sasuke left the bed and gathered his clothes, dressing silently before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him. Naruto listened to his footsteps fading away down the hallway and only when they had disappeared completely did Naruto throw himself down on his bed, bury his face in his pillow and cry.

* * *

Naruto spent the rest of the day in his room, not having the willpower to face the world. Genma checked in on him from time to time, but seemed to sense that he preferred to be left alone. Already he wanted to take the words he had spoken back but some rational part of his mind was telling him that it was the right decision for the both of them.

Despite what he had told Sasuke, he didn't hold out much hope for a future together, no matter what may happen. Sasuke had a brighter future ahead of him than anything that Naruto could dream of, and really, who was he to take that away from him? He had a chance to truly find himself out there, and do something he truly loved. He could find someone, and have a family. He could make something of himself.

And Naruto? He would continue on as he always had, working his ass off doing something he loved and learning to live with his decisions.

So the next day, he dragged himself out of bed and got to work earlier than anyone else. He kept his head down, and tried to avoid people as much as he could. His red, puffy eyes, pale face and lack of energy made him look truly pathetic, and he couldn't bear to deal with anyone's sympathy or pity.

Luckily for him, most of the stable hands had left the previous night to spend the holidays with their families, and the only people who weren't leaving were Kakashi, Genma, Raidou and himself. Kakashi was holed up in his office anyway, fretting over paperwork and expense accounts. Genma was working one of the more difficult horses in one of the indoor arenas, and Raidou was in the second stable building cleaning stalls. Naruto busied himself in the other building, starting at one end and slowly working his way up to the other, cleaning stables, grooming the horses and re-rugging them.

The horses were all staying indoors at the moment anyway, because of the constant snow. Grooming them meant he could warm his frigid hands on their shaggy winter coats, and the feel of their living and breathing bodies went a small way to providing him some confort.

He had thought he had known what emotional pain was before he had met Sasuke, but how wrong he had been. Naruto knew that apart from the pain he was experiencing, he had also hurt Sasuke and that was something he would never forgive himself for. The fact that Sasuke had been so willing to fight for them, to keep them together had touched his heart, but he had been the one of kill those hopes swiftly and painfully.

He hoped that one day Sasuke would forgive him.

Around lunch time, he let himself into Ani's stable, and smiled sadly when the young horse immediately nuzzled into his stomach affectionately. He ran his hands over the beautiful lines of Ani's face, and tangled his fingers in the silky mane.

"He's leaving tomorrow," Genma said, startling him.

Naruto jumped, then glanced over his shoulder to find his lanky friend leaning against the stable door and watching him solemnly. He nodded his acknowledgement of the statement.

He had, after all, expected something of the sort in the coming days, but he hadn't expected it so soon. He hadn't expected that Sasuke would be leaving on Christmas Eve.

"Is that why you were upset yesterday?" Genma asked, hesitantly.

"No," he replied, shocked at how tired and hoarse his voice sounded.

"He wanted to…I…." he paused, not surprised at how hard it was to find the proper words. "We broke up. Last night."

He exhaled shakily into the silence that followed his revelation, and ran his icy fingers over the delicate flare of Ani's nostrils.

"It's probably for the best anyway," he whispered.

"For him or for you?" Genma asked, sounding frustrated. "I know that not many people understood what you had between you, but I know how much you love him. Is this really the best choice, Naruto? I can't stand to see you hurting like this."

Naruto took his hands off Ani and turned around to study his friend.

"I think it is," he said heavily. "Sakura's talking about leaving, Kiba won't even look at me anymore. Kakashi knew what would happen if I got involved with Sasuke, but I did it anyway so he's frustrated with me too. Besides….Sasuke's engaged now. He has other things to worry about."

"I don't care about that stuff, Naruto. I'm talking about what's best for you. Is it what you want?"

Naruto crossed to his friend and hugged him over the stable door to hide the tears that were starting. Genma automatically hugged him back hard.

"Of course it's not what I want," he whispered into his friend's broad shoulder. "But what other choice do I have? We'd both be risking everything we have to stay together."

Genma rested his cheek against Naruto's hair and wrapped a big, warm hand around the nape of Naruto's neck.

"I-I have nowhere else to go," Naruto admitted, letting his tears soak into Genma's fleece jumper.

* * *

Christmas Eve morning was dull and threatening to snow. A massive horse truck had pulled up at 8am on the dot, and Naruto was forced to prepare Taira for transport, knowing he would miss the big horse, pain in the ass that he was. Sasuke's horse was excited, prancing in place and trying to play with Naruto, but his heart was lying somewhere in the vicinity of his worn boots and had no spirit to join the games. He petted the soft face one last time and made sure that his warm coat and travel leg wraps were secure and comfortable before untying him and leading him out to the snow covered stable yard.

Genma and Raidou were just finishing securing Ino and Neji's horses and Naruto almost stopped dead at the sight of Sasuke's car in the courtyard. The man himself came around the corner of the truck, and his dark eyes zeroed in on Naruto and Taira.

Naruto swallowed and averted his eyes, before quickly leading Taira aboard.

"Here, I'll take that," Raidou said quietly before nodding towards where Sasuke stood watching. "You go and say your goodbyes. "

Naruto turned and walked over to where Sasuke stood. They stared at each other for long moments. Naruto hated seeing the resignation in Sasuke, a defeat that he had put there in his lover. Sasuke's dark eyes bored into his for a moment longer, before Sasuke pulled him into a tight embrace and buried his face in Naruto's neck.

For a shocked moment, Naruto did nothing, but then he found himself gripping Sasuke fiercely and pushing his face into that broad chest. He inhaled that familiar spicy scent that was uniquely Sasuke.

Sasuke's mouth found his after awhile, and Naruto lost himself in the taste and feel of Sasuke, aware of the tears coursing down his face. The kiss was slow and searching and ended slowly. Pressed his forehead to Naruto's.

"I'm going to miss you," Sasuke whispered to him. "Maybe this is for the best but no matter what anyone else tells you, there is nothing wrong with what we had together."

Naruto nodded his head, trying to hold back his tears. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely. "I always will."

Sasuke pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth. "Take care of yourself, Uzamaki Naruto," he replied abruptly, before pulling away and walking to his car.

He didn't look back as he pulled out of the stable yard with the horse truck following close behind.

Naruto watched as the car drove away out of sight before quickly wiping the tears from his face and, avoiding the eyes of the others, retreated quickly to the private sanctuary of his room.

* * *

The party was in full swing, and Naruto was doing his wall flower routine again. Kakashi, Genma and Raidou threw this Christmas Eve party every year. All the remaining stable hands and house servants were invited, along with local people that they were friends with. All in all, there were about thirty people crammed into the living quarters and the small sitting area outside. The music was not loud enough to be obnoxious, but loud enough to be heard over the rowdy conversations all around. There was plenty of food and alcohol to go around, and the smells and the sounds of laughter were making Naruto's head spin.

Of course, that could have had something to do with the ten or so drinks he had been downing over the last two hours. Naruto didn't normally drink, but after the harrowing and painful day he had had, he had been willing to give it a go.

At first, the drink had burned down his throat making him cough, but that soon changed to a pleasant tingling, then a sweet numbness that made his head swim and his thoughts foggy.

He was watching people dizzily, carefully avoiding conversation, and the longing gaze that one of the local youths kept turning his way.

He wanted Sasuke to be here, to offer his shoulder to help with the dizziness that was consuming him. Naruto wasn't sure what he had been drinking, but he was beginning to think that he had had enough because the numbness was starting to turn to nausea, and everything was swaying ominously around him.

He jumped when Genma and Raidou appeared on either side of him, and he blinked at them in surprise.

"You're drunk, Naruto," Raidou stated quietly.

"C'mon, it's way past your bedtime, I think," Genma said cheerfully, as the men slipped arms under his own and hauled him to his feet. The room around him spun wildly and he blinked rapidly.

"Um…"

"Bathroom," Raidou and Genma said in union.

Things after that became a blur, but he remembered them taking him from the bathroom to his room, and helping him to find some pajama bottoms. They closed the door behind themselves, effectively blocking out most of the noise from the party.

Naruto sat on the edge of his bed and stared blindly at the wall opposite himself. The sense of disjointed loneliness that he had felt when his father had died had returned again to envelope his senses into a confining cocoon.

His chest was tight and his heart felt empty as he wondered where Sasuke was, and if he was okay. The quiet desolation he had witnessed in Sasuke's eyes was his fault, and he felt like dirt for causing the man he loved so much pain. He had hated himself more in the moment he had broken Sasuke's heart than he ever had before and he wasn't sure if he could live with that hate and the guilt for days, let alone months or years.

Eventually, his swimming senses forced him to lie down, but once he had the room danced and spun slowly, as if the world was slowly tipping him upside down so he could slip right off into oblivion. He didn't know how long he lay there praying for sleep to take him, but it never came.

The noise and music from the party eventually died off into quiet voices talking, and he knew it was very late. He was so tired, and his head was still spinning and aching from the alcohol, and the sense of depression than enveloped him the more tired he became made him feel desperate and helpless and in the end he clumsily reached out and turned on his beside light. In one of his beside draws he kept a bottle of leftover medication from when he had injured his back. He vaguely remembered how much they had made him sleep when he was hurt, and he was exhausted and desperate for some rest.

He shook out some pills onto his hand and fumbled around on his beside table for the glass of water he kept there. Naruto swallowed the pills and slumped back onto his bed to stare at the ceiling again.

He didn't know how long he lay there before his drowsiness overtook his senses, and he slipped into the sweet nothingness of sleep at last.

* * *

Genma's threw the last of the plastic cups into the garbage bin and straightened up. He was pleasantly tipsy from the evening of drinking, and feeling loose limbed and relaxed. He needed to check that Naruto was okay before he retired to his bed for the night. He told this to Kakashi, who was nursing a cup of coffee in the kitchen with Iruka as he left the room and slipped down the hallway.

Raidou had retired long ago, not really one for much socialising, and there was no sign of light beneath his door. There was under Naruto's however, and he wondered if the blond had needed the bathroom and merely forgotten to turn off his light before falling back asleep.

He had never seen his friend drink before, and seeing the blond quietly trying to drinking himself into unconsciousness earlier had caused his stomach to drop. Naruto was slipping back into his old self, withdrawn and lonely, slipping further and further away from them all with every hour that Sasuke was away, and it broke his heart to see him hurting like that.

Worried now, Genma knocked quietly, before opening the door. Naruto was sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep with the light on, and Genma felt a moment of relief seeing how relaxed his friend was. He slipped into the room to turn off the light, and that was when he saw the bottle of pills that was open and tipped over, right next to a glass of water.

Genma froze, his insides turning to stone as he stood there, trying to come to grips with what he was seeing.

"Kakashi!"

TBC (Definately to be continued!)


	37. Nothing In This World

**Disclaimer: **The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

**Warnings: **Angst, swearing, Sasuke x Naruto (Male x Male), dark themes including mentions of attempted suicide etc. Don't like, Don't read!

**Author's Note: **I know this is a shorter chapter, but it's necessary for the story line. Hope you all enjoy, and thank you for all your wonderful feedback!

* * *

**Chapter 35: **_**Nothing In This World**_

_Goodbye  
Tomorrow's another day  
You know time it only moves one way  
Away from yesterday  
Oh, but memories never fade_

_Fast by Jason Aldean_

Sunlight filtered in through the leaves of the tree outside making wonderfully complex patterns sway back and forth over the blanket of his hospital bed.

He wasn't feeling sick anymore, and his head wasn't pounding. His throat wasn't sore from where they'd forced him to throw up with the vile charcoal concoction they had forced into his body. He had been in hospital for a day, and he felt nothing but sad and ashamed with himself.

Kakashi hadn't known what to say to him, Genma had been worried sick, and Iruka just seemed lost. He hadn't intended to hurt himself, he had told them over and over. It had been a stupid, drunken mistake, brought on by exhaustion. He didn't want to die, he was pretty sure of that.

But there was still that old familiar voice in the back of his mind whispering to him that perhaps it would be better if he did just slip away. After all, there wasn't much left for him in this life, and he was tired of the constant struggle to get through each day. Naruto was trying his best to ignore that niggling voice. It had brought him nothing but trouble in the past, and he had no intention of revisiting those dark days of self-destruction.

The door opened quietly, and he looked up in surprise to see Lady Mikoto slipping into the room. She closed the door behind herself, and smiled demurely at him as she moved to his bed.

"Naruto," she said warmly, taking his hand. "I hope you are feeling better."

For a moment, Naruto was frozen with surprise, so it took a couple of swallows before his voice started working.

"I..yes, ma'am. I'm feeling well, thank you," he managed, relieved when he didn't stammer. He was terrified that she was here to fire him, to reprimand him for his involvement in Sasuke's abrupt departure, or at the worst, to fire him.

"I am pleased to hear that," she smiled as she watched his face. "I was very distressed to hear of your ordeal, and insisted that you were taken to this private hospital, instead of the public one."

That explained the private room then, and the top notch facilities he supposed. He had been wondering, but that was nothing in comparison to the embarrassment he felt of the Uchiha matron knowing of his horrible mistake.

"T-thank you, ma'am. I appreciate everything you've done for me," he replied slowly, not exactly sure what the proper etiquette was in such a situation.

"It was nothing, Naruto, especially considering how much you mean to my son. It's the least I could do," she murmured.

Naruto felt lightheaded suddenly, her words striking fear into his very heart. He hadn't thought anyone in Sasuke's family knew, and he prayed to every god that he could think of that Sasuke's father didn't know.

"I came here for several reasons, Naruto," Lady Mikoto continued, seemingly oblivious to his silent panic attack.

"First of all I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am about the events surrounding the ending of your relationship with my son. I can't tell you…" she began, her voice quavering slightly.

She looked down for a moment, seemingly to compose herself.

"My son has been unreachable to me for many years, Naruto, and a few months with you by his side changed that completely. I am very grateful to you for bringing him back to me. You've made him happier than I can remember seeing him for a long time, and I am indebted to you for that."

Naruto stared down at his hands in his lap, the heavy knot in his chest tightening and making it hard to breathe. He felt worse and worse at her obvious gratitude because he certainly didn't deserve it after what he had done to Sasuke.

"Ma'am…" he began.

"Mikoto," she interrupted firmly.

"Lady Mikoto, I…I don't….I hurt Sasuke terribly and I don't think…" he stammered, frustrated at his inability to find the right words.

"No, Naruto. You had very difficult circumstances to deal with, and Sasuke's father is responsible for this mess, not you. Your hand was forced. I am here to tell you to give it time. Things will sort themselves out. I am certain of this," she said calmly. "Sasuke and his father just need some time to sort themselves out. You and I need to give them that time to realise what the reality of this situation is."

Naruto felt in his heart that she was wrong about this, but was helpless to disagree with her, knowing it would be impossible to change her mind. She was, after all, a Uchiha, and they were the most stubborn people that he had ever come across in his entire life. Arguing with them was like trying to move a mountain; in the end you've hurt your back and wasted your energy in a pointless endeavour.

"I also wanted to offer you my help," she continued quietly. "I know that you have had a hard life, and I don't even pretend to understand what you've been through."

Both of them looked down in unison at his scarred wrists, and he tried to hide them self-consciously.

She offered him a sad smile.

"You may know that I am heavily involved with many charities across the country, and in doing so I have contacts with some successful rehabilitation and thearapy centres. I know of a good one that could help you, should you wish it."

She handed him a brochure and he took it slowly.

"I have spoken to the director, and there is a place available should you wish to accept it. There is no obligation of course, and it is your choice. But the option is there if you feel you need it. I will always be available if you should need me for any reason, Naruto," Mikoto said as she stood. "And you will always have a job at the Uchiha stables, you have my word on that."

Naruto managed a weak smile for her. She reached out, and squeezed his hand softly.

"I hope you start to feel better soon, my friend. "

She closed the door quietly behind herself, and Naruto lay his head back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

Naruto sat cross legged on his bed in the stable hand quarters, staring out the window into the evening light. It was two days past New Year's Eve, and he had been released from hospital a little more than a week ago. He had made things much worse with his stupid mistake at the Christmas Eve party.

He had avoided everyone once the holidays were over. The other stable hands had returned from their holidays, and he knew that they had heard what had happened by the way they looked at him.

Naruto also knew that he couldn't move on and live his life with the shame and the pain of everything that had happened hovering over him and pushing him down. He had had a lot of time alone to think, and he was tired of being so stationary and static in his life. He was tired of letting every little thing get him down, and he knew that the way he lived his life was far from how his father would have wanted him to live.

With that in mind, he had carefully packed up all of his belongings into boxes, and packed some bags with his clothes. He took down all of his pictures and wrapped up his photographs in towels to keep them safe. His books he would have to leave. Someone else could enjoy them.

He pulled on his boots slowly, and patted Chance on the head before pointing him to his bed in the corner, and went to find Kakashi.

Eventually, he approached the office after searching all of the man's usual hide outs. The light was on, and he wasn't alone. He caught a flash of pink hair, and hesitated outside the door.

"I'm not sure how much longer I can stay, Kakashi," Sakura was saying. "All of this…it's too much. I can't face Naruto, after everything that has happened."

"I really don't think running away will help anything, Sakura," Kakashi was saying when Naruto knocked on the door and pushed it open a little.

"She doesn't have to," he said quietly. They both looked up at him in surprise.

"You don't have to go because of me, Sakura," he told her. "I think it's best for everyone that I leave."

"Leave?" Kakashi stood up in his chair, looking alarmed for the first time since Naruto had met him. "Naruto, I don't think…."

He managed a smile, touched at the older man's concern. "It's okay, Kakashi. I've found a place that will take me." Naruto glanced at Sakura's face. "It's a retreat. For people who need…. They have all kinds of programs there that I think will…."

Naruto broke off, and looked down at the keys in his hand.

"I think it will be good for me," he managed a weak smile for their benefit. "I think I need some time to-to get my head straight."

There was silence in the small office.

"I'm glad that you're going to get help, Naruto," Kakashi said slowly. "But we're going to miss you around here. And I hope you know that there will always be a place for you here, no matter how long you are away."

"Thank you. I'm not sure how long I'll be there, or if I can ever…." He swiped quickly at a stray tear that had escaped. "They allow visitors," he offered. "If you can see yourself able to get away for a while…"

Kakashi smiled and came towards him, enveloping him in an uncharacteristic hug.

"We'll miss you. I'll miss you," the man murmured in his ear. "But for what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing."

He released Naruto and stepped back, but left his hands on Naruto's shoulders.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Now," Naruto replied, strengthening his resolve when he saw the surprise on Kakashi's face. "I've already said my goodbyes, in my own way. But if it's okay, I hope that you won't mind explaining where I'm going."

"Of course. Let me help you with your things." Kakashi led him to the door, but Naruto afforded one last glance over at Sakura, who was watching with troubled eyes. She hadn't said a word.

* * *

It was a subdued Genma and a quiet Kakashi that helped him to load his truck. Chance was already sitting on the passenger seat, panting in excitement. Naruto shoved the last box in and helped Genma to secure it in place.

Funny how his life could fit so easily and neatly into the back of a truck. He took one last look around the quiet stable yard that had been his life for a long time. The sky was darkening, and the lights were slowly coming on. The horses were quiet, and the snow on the ground made the evening glow with a magical light.

He could feel the tears threatening as he absorbed the sights and smells. This was the place he had really grown up and learned about himself. He had started to heal here, and he would miss it fiercely. But he needed something more now; something that he couldn't find hiding safely behind the walls of the Uchiha estate, and he wouldn't be back until he found what he was looking for. If he found what he was looking for.

Naruto looked back to see Kakashi watching him, and he stepped forward to embrace his mentor wordlessly, burying his face in the man's chest and inhaling his familiar scent. There really wasn't anything else he could say to him that he didn't already know. Kakashi hugged him back tightly for a few long moments before stepping back.

"Drive safe," he said roughly. "Call me to let me know you've arrived safely."

Naruto nodded, and watched the man walk away quickly.

"He'll miss you more than he lets on," Genma said quietly. "You're like a son to him. He only wants the best for you though, so he can't say so."

"I know."

He looked at his friend, and took in his beloved face. Genma was special to him, and Naruto knew that Genma cared for him deeply.

"_I'm _going to miss you too," Genma said, his voice sounding tight as he pulled Naruto into his arms. "Who am I going to tease now?"

"There's always kiba," Naruto managed, closing his eyes into the embrace.

Genma buried a hand in his hair and rested his check against Naruto's head as he sighed.

"I really hope you find what you're looking for, kitten, so you can come back to us as soon as possible. It won't be the same without you around here."

Naruto smiled before stepping back.

"I'll try my best. You'll write me, right? And visit? It would be nice to…" he broke off, and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and stared at the ground.

Warm fingers lifted his chin, and he looked up into Genma's smiling face.

"You couldn't stop me, even if you tried. Go on now. You've got a long drive ahead of you."

Naruto smiled at him and clasped his hand once more before climbing into the truck and starting the engine. He revved it for a moment before pulling slowly out of the yard. He avoided looking in the rear-view, knowing his resolve would weaken if he did.

This was the right thing to do, he told himself, even as the tears started to flow. The end of the estates long drive came too quickly and he turned onto the road slowly, burying his fingers in Chance's warm fur.

It was time to move on with his life.

TBC


	38. Brand New Day

**Disclaimer**: The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I am just borrowing them for a while!

**Warnings**: Nothing much in this chapter. Mentions of treatment for mental disorders. Sasuke x Naruto (Male x male), angst.

**Author's Notes**: This chapter was insanely hard to write. There are additional notes at the end of the chapter. Feedback is always appreciated and thank you for all of the encouragement received so far!

* * *

**Chapter 36: Brand New Day**

_**A year and a half later…**_

"I think my ass has gone to sleep," Genma grumbled, shifting yet again in the car and glaring out the window through his sunglasses.

"I heard you the first ten times you said that," Kakashi muttered in reply, adjusting his hands on the steering wheel. "And like I've already said, we'll be there in about fifteen minutes, so shut the hell up."

"Remind me again why we didn't fly? This place is on the other side of the god damned country and you chose to drive?" Genma sighed.

"Flying costs money that we can't afford to spend," Kakashi said, running a hand through his hair. "And if I'd known you would be such a pain in the ass to travel with I would have come alone."

"You mean you don't want to justify the expense on the records," Genma countered, shaking his empty coffee cup for the third time. "And did you really think I would pass up a chance to visit Naruto? We haven't seen him in more than a year, he's gotta be lonely by now."

"He's probably enjoying the peace and quiet away from you," Kakashi grumbled.

Genma glared at him and threw a scrunched up piece of paper at his head, earning him a glare and a shove from Kakashi.

Kakashi eventually turned down a narrow, winding country half an hour later, ignoring Genma's mutterings about his horrible time keeping skills. They were surrounded by rolling green hills, and old oak and willow trees. It was a beautiful, peaceful place, he admitted to himself, and probably the perfect place for Naruto.

The blond had written long letters addressed to them all, and if Kakashi was being honest with himself, he thought Naruto seemed like he was doing better. Phone calls were scarce, but he didn't mind that so much and knew that it was a lot easier to say things in writing than it was on the phone.

Naruto's absence had been blatantly obvious for everyone. Little things around the place didn't get done, and the whole operation didn't run as smoothly as it once had. He hadn't realised how much the blond had done around the place, and how he had affect the day to day operation of the stables.

But most of all, he missed his friend, missed talking to him, and listening to him when he had something to say. He missed having the quiet presence around because Naruto had always been his confidante, and he always had his support, however silent.

Kakashi turned up the sloping driveway and drove through an impressive set of gates. The retreat that Naruto had chosen (although he had found out later that Lady Mikoto had some sort of hand in helping Naruto find a place) had well-tended fields and beautifully manicured gardens. A massive sandstone mansion faced them, and Kakashi parked in one of the designated visitor parking spaces. The retreat was situated on several aches, and Kakashi knew that Naruto would like that. All that open space to think and breathe and heal.

Genma lowered his sunglasses and whistled.

"Quite the place here. I wonder how he can afford it."

Kakashi hummed non-committedly, and got out of the truck. He suddenly wondered if he was underdressed in his worn jeans and boots. Genma hopped out after him and together they headed up into the manor and towards the reception, where a pleasant young lady directed them out the back of the reception area towards the cottages. Apparently Naruto had his own little house and it was the eighth one along the road.

Naruto had always been a private person, and Kakashi was relieved that he hadn't been forced to share living spaces with other people. The blond had always been very empathetic towards other people's problems, and Kakashi wasn't sure Naruto could deal with taking on everyone else's problems in addition to his own.

They walked in silence along a little gravel road, taking in the small houses with their tidy little flower beds out the front, the cosy verandas with their wicker chairs and soft looking cushions. They rounded a corner and were faced with a familiar looking truck parked under a large oak tree. Naruto's little cottage faced a large, calm lake, complete with ducks, lilly pads and weeping willow trees trailing their branches in the water.

Chance, the dog Naruto had rescued as a puppy was lying under the truck, but when he saw them he leapt to his feet and raced towards them barking joyously. He was fully grown now, and a big dog. His black coat was glossy and well looked after, and he leapt around them, pausing in his barking to lick their hands and sniff their boots every now and then.

"Hey there boy," Genma grinned and scratched the dogs ears before they continued towards the house. "Where's your master at?"

As they approached the house, they saw that the trucks bonnet was open, and that someone was tinkering around with the engine. Soft music was playing from the radio.

"Hello at the house!" Genma called, not wanting to startle Naruto.

The reaction was instantaneous and the boy himself appeared from behind the truck.

Both Genma and Kakashi froze in shock at the sight of Naruto. The boy they had known was gone, and in his place, a man.

Naruto had grown several inches over the last year and a half, and he had put on a lot of muscle. His shoulders had widened and his chest was broad, replacing the body of small waif of a boy with that of a strong young man. He wasn't as tall as Kakashi, but he was closer to Genma's own height. His hair was slightly longer, his skin tanned a healthy brown and his eyes seemed bluer than Kakashi remembered.

But the biggest difference was in his eyes. No longer were they dulled with pain, hurt or sadness. Naruto seemed to finally be at some sort of peace with himself. He was relaxed and calm, and his face broke into a huge grin when he saw them. He met them half way and wrapped his arms around Kakashi in welcome.

"I thought you'd be here tonight," he exclaimed as he pulled away, slapping Kakashi's shoulder before turning to greet Genma.

"We got an earlier start than we thought we would," Kakashi told him with a smile.

"Look at you!" Genma explained with a grin, holding him at an arm's length. "You've grown so much! What have they put in the water here?"

Naruto grinned in response. "Nah, one of my doctors has me on a special diet. Said something about having stunted growth when I was a teenager? I wasn't really paying that much attention."

"This place is pretty amazing, huh?" Genma stated, looking around. "It's huge!"

Naruto smiled. "I'll give you the grand tour later. But come inside, you must be thirsty after the long trip."

Kakashi followed him up the three stairs onto the porch and into the small house, feeling stunned. Naruto was like a completely different person, and he wasn't sure if he should be glad or confused.

* * *

As the day faded, they found themselves sitting on the porch watching the sky darken and slowly working their way through a pot of tea and some cheese and crackers.

Naruto was listening avidly to the stories that Genma was sharing, and more than a little aware of Kakashi quiet mood. He knew that his old mentor wanted some answers, and he definitely deserved them. He hadn't asked his friends to come and visit since he had left the Uchiha estate before, and he knew that that had confused and perhaps even hurt some of them, but his healing process had been a long and slow one.

There came a lull in the conversation, and Kakashi took that as a sign to say what was on his mind.

"What's been going on, Naruto?" the man asked gently. "How are you really doing?"

Naruto looked down into the half empty cup of tea in his hands, debating how much to tell his friends and then decided to be completely honest. Telling lies and half-truths had done him nothing but harm in the past, and he flashed back to those long and trying conversations with his therapist. He had decided many months ago that for him at least, honesty would always be the best policy.

"I've made a lot of progress since I left," he told them quietly. "I've been taking several courses and programs as part of my therapy here, including…."

He hesitated, trying to formulate the best way to describe his current lifestyle in a way they would understand.

"Go on," Genma leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. "You can tell us."

Naruto smiled at his friend and sat back in his chair.

"I have a diet and exercise regime that had been very good for me."

Kakashi smiled. "You're almost as tall as Genma. I can hardly believe it!"

"As well as that, I've…I have a condition called Cyclothymic Disorder," he told them, looking at them straight in the eye.

His illness wasn't something he was ashamed of anymore. When he had been diagnosed it had actually been something of a relief, and once the effects of his treatment program had started to kick in, he found it much easier to cope with day to day living.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"It's a milder form of bipolar disorder," Naruto replied. "The treatment has been very good for me. My therapist says I'm doing well."

"But you'll get better right?" Genma asked, clearly upset by his revelation. "It'll go away?"

"It might. It may never go away, or it may just disappear over time." Naruto told him. "It's something I've learned to live with, and it's very treatable. I'm doing okay, really."

They sat in silence for a while, contemplating Naruto's words. He understood their concern. It had taken him a long time to fully come to terms with everything the doctors had been telling him, and even longer to accept that it was something that needed to be controlled carefully, or it could develop into full blown Bipolar disorder.

His life since arriving at the retreat had changed drastically, and he had had to change as well. Naruto hadn't been able to go on as the person he was before, and it had been a very slow and hard process to change the way he viewed the world and himself.

His days were kept busy in a variety of different activities. Three times a week he had private therapy sessions, in addition to a weekly group session that had forced him to interact with the other patients at the centre. It was that forced interaction that had really been the hardest, and he had found it very difficult to reveal old hurts and wounds that weren't fully healed to a room of strangers.

But as time marched on, he'd grown used to it. The group therapy had helped him to overcome his shame and self-hatred of his past, and hearing other people's stories, many of which were worse than his own, had been very cathartic for him.

He spent another day taking a business class at the local collage, and spending time with a tutor, who was also part of the retreat program. On Fridays he spent the day going on group outings with his therapy group, which had been fun. He had visited many local and not so local tourist sites, museums and theme parks.

Much of his spare time was spent exercising or writing, a project given to him by his therapist. He wrote letters to his friends at the Uchiha Estate, but most of his writing time was spent scribbling in a journal. It was another way he had found to exorcize the demons that had been residents in his head.

In addition to all the activities and therapy he was receiving, his medication helped to stabilise his moods and help his brain function properly. Along with regular exercise and a healthy diet, he had come to accept who he had been in the past, and the things that had happened to him. He had learned to forgive himself for all the wrongs he had perceived himself as committing, and was at peace with most of it.

There were still days when he was down and upset, but his therapist had been teaching him to accept that everyone had days like that, days when nothing seemed to go the way it was supposed to, and to accept that no one expected him to be perfect.

And then, of course, there was Sasuke. He still found it hard to think about him, because every day he missed him. Naruto dreamt about Sasuke often, wondering where he was and if he was doing okay. He knew that he still loved the Uchiha deeply, and that he always would, even if he never saw him again. It was an ongoing problem, and still a very painful one.

He was healing, slowly. And he knew it would take a long time, but he was learning more and more about himself every day, and that was progress. One little step at a time, no matter how small, kept him moving closer and closer to the person that he one day hoped to be.

"Are you coming back home?" Kakashi 's voice broke into his thoughts, and he looked up at his friend.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to…." He broke off and sighed, running a hand through his too long hair.

"I don't know yet," he said, more firmly.

"But…aren't you getting better?" Genma sounded confused, and a little hurt. "I thought that once you were better you'd come back to stay."

"No one ever said that, Genma," Kakashi said a little sharply. "If he feels that he's not able to come back, then he shouldn't."

"It's not a question of wanting," Naruto broke in. "I have a long way to go yet. I still have a lot of therapy to get through, and going home…There's still a lot of…painful memories there that I need to deal with."

Genma nodded, sitting back in his chair, looking a little sad and regretful.

"I miss you guys," Naruto leaned over and took Genma's hand. "It's good to see you both."

"Thanks for your honesty, Naruto," Kakashi replied. "You know we only hope for the best for you. Whatever it takes, right?"

Naruto smiled at him gratefully. "Of course. Whatever it takes. "

Genma yawned suddenly, startling them all. "Wow, sorry," Genma rubbed his face. "I must be more tired than I thought."

"You'd think he'd done most of the driving," Kakashi grumbled.

Naruto laughed, realising how much he had missed his friends and their good natured bantering.

"I have more than enough space for the both of you tonight," he grinned, standing up. "And tomorrow I'll give you the grand tour of the place."

* * *

It had been a week since Kakashi and Genma had left, and Naruto was returning from a busy day of business classes to find another surprise visitor on his porch.

Lady Mikoto had been a frequent visitor since he had arrived. They had quickly become friends, and he had always enjoyed seeing her and having tea with her. Every time he saw her kind face, he was reminded of Sasuke, and missed him all the more.

They talked of many things, his therapy, her charities and business endeavours, but never Sasuke or the terrible circumstances that had brought Naruto to the retreat. She always brought him a new book and often explained some of the more confusing concepts of his business studies.

Currently, she looked rather sad as she sat in one of the wicker chairs staring out over the lake. He frowned as he jogged up the stairs, even though she greeted him with a smile as she stood. Her visit was rather unexpected, and she always made a point of contacting him before she stopped by for a visit. He quickly placed his books and backpack on the small table.

She looked alarmingly frail and tired, which only startled him more, because she was always so perfectly composed and serene. There were circles under her eyes and she wore no makeup. Her closes were plain and her usual jewellery was absent.

"Naruto," she greeted him warmly enough, taking his hands.

He kissed her cheek carefully.

"Lady Mikoto, is everything well?" he asked with a frown, ushering her back to her seat and taking one himself.

"No, Naruto, I find I am rather distressed," she admitted, folding her hands in her lap.

He leaned forward in his chair, concerned. "Would you like something to drink? You look rather pale."

She smiled at him, and reached to pat his hand. "Tea would be lovely, dear."

It took him only a few minutes to brew the tea and place the cups and saucers on a tray. He re-joined her on the porch and poured her tea carefully.

"How rude of me, Naruto. I neglected to ask how you are these days." She managed a smile for him as she nursed her warm cup.

"I'm doing as well as ever," he replied. "Things are getting better."

"I'm pleased to hear it, my friend," she nodded, setting her cup down.

"Please, Lady Mikoto, what's upsetting you?" he asked gently. "Is everything okay? Is Sasuke…."

"Don't trouble yourself, Naruto," she interrupted. "Sasuke is healthy and well, as far as I know. But now that you mention him, I have a favour to ask of you."

"Concerning Sasuke?"

She nodded and brushed a shaking hand over her face.

"You see, my husband, Sasuke's father, had a heart attack three days ago," she told him sighing.

"That's…I'm sorry to hear that," Naruto told her, taking her hand once more. "If there's anything I can do…"

He really wasn't quite sure how he felt about the news. He didn't hate the man for what he had done to Sasuke, but he didn't understand him the slightest bit.

He knew that Sasuke had loved his father fiercely as a child, and despite his claims, he loved him still. It had been a sore subject, and Naruto had never been told the full story of what had happened between father and son to cause so much bitterness between the two.

"Thank you, dear boy. That's the reason I'm here now."

"I'm listening."

"Sasuke is being rather…stubborn," she admitted. "I've called him, and Itachi has been calling him, trying to get him to come home and visit his father, but he refuses. He has even stopped taking our calls completely. I know that…."

She paused, her beautiful eyes filling with tears that she held back. She managed a quavering smile for him, and took a fortifying sip of her tea.

"The doctors say they don't think my husband will live past the weekend and I want Sasuke to see his father and try and make peace with him, in case…."

"I think I see where you're going with this." Naruto released her hand and sat back in his chair. Doubt and indecision gnawed at him, and that familiar feeling of anxiety gripped his stomach. He breathed deeply and slowly, before taking a sip of his own tea.

"I know it is hard for you to consider, Naruto," Lady Mikoto continued, leaning forward. "But you are the only person who Sasuke has ever really listened to. If anyone can get him to do this, it will be you."

"I'm not so sure of that, anymore," he replied slowly. "I'm not sure anyone can make Sasuke do anything he doesn't want to do."

"He values your opinion over everyone else's," she countered. "I just…I know I am asking a lot of you Naruto, and the lord knows that you don't owe me anything but I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't so desperate. I don't want Sasuke to have regrets, like I have. This may be his last chance of making things right with his father."

Naruto sat there for a while, weighing up her words. He knew it would probably be very hard to leave, and harder still to face Sasuke. He couldn't deny his own reluctance to leave and get involved in Sasuke's life once more. It would probably be better to let sleeping dogs lie.

But he also knew what it was like to have unresolved issues with a loved one who had died. He knew how that could eat at a person, and he didn't want that for Sasuke. He deserved that last chance to put things to right.

Seeing Sasuke again would be a true test of his recovery, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to take that test. He needed an unbiased opinion.

"Would you mind if I make a phone call?" he asked slowly.

"Of course not."

He excused himself and went inside. He found the phone and dialled a number he knew off by heart.

"_This is Dr Shizuni," _a pleasant feminine voice answered on the third ring.

"Hi, Shizuni, it's Naruto," he said after clearing his throat.

"_Naruto, how are you? Is everything well?"_

"Yeah, I'm well. Listen, I have something I need to ask you…"

He carefully explained the situation in detail to his therapist, not leaving out the slightest detail. Shizuni had been a major player in his recovery. She was the neutral voice of reason he needed to sort things out in his head. She pointed him in the right direction and guided him to important self-discoveries with careful questions. It helped that she let him draw his own logical conclusions from situations and helped him to explore the reasons behind decisions he had made in the past. Her help had been vital in steering him away from self-destructive behaviours in the past when things had seemed too hard.

She was quiet for a few moments when he reached the conclusion of his explanation.

"_Naruto, you have all the tools you need to guide you in this situation. The real question is do you think you are ready for such a confrontation?"_

"I'm not sure," he replied slowly. "I want to see him again. I know that….that it will be hard, and he probably won't want to hear what I have to say, but I think I need to try."

"_This isn't necessarily a bad thing, Naruto,"_ Shizuni replied. _"This is an opportunity to sort out issues which we haven't really touched upon yet, but I think it may be something you need to face on your own. He may not want to see you, or talk to you, but if you feel that you need to try, then you should. This is an opportunity to move on. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, and that it is what's best for you and no one else. What do you think?"_

"I think you may be right. I need to do this." He paused. "I think I'll be missing our session tomorrow."

She laughed lightly.

"_That's okay. Consider this a flash therapy session. And remember, if you need me, I'll be right here on the end of this line, okay?"_

He hung up feeling a little more confident. Shizune had been right. He needed to start making decisions for his own good, not just for everyone else's. And he owed it to himself to try and at the very least get closure for himself.

Lady Mikoto hugged him tightly when he gave her his answer.

"I know this will be hard for you, Naruto, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart," she released him, and pulled two tickets out of her hand bag. "Here. One is an open ended return ticket, leaving this evening. The other is a one way. Please, try your best to bring my son home to me."

Naruto looked down at the tickets in his hand and then at her tired face. He was taller than her now, he noted idly. He wondered if he was taller than Sasuke now, too.

"I'll do what I can, Lady Mikoto, but I can make no promises," he told her slowly. "There's no guarantee that he will even see me, let alone talk to me."

She smiled and patted his forearm.

"I think you are underestimating the depths of his feelings for you, Naruto. Call me, any time of day or night."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you again," she whispered against his skin. "Even if it doesn't work, I'll always appreciate that you tried."

He watched as her driver closed the car door behind her, and the sleek black limousine pulled away from his small, humble home.

Naruto sighed as he stared down at the tickets in his hands. There was doubts and nervousness warring within him, but in addition there was also a great sense of anticipation.

The truth of it was, he longed to see Sasuke again. And maybe he was finally ready to do so at last.

**TBC**

**Additional Notes**: All of the information on **Cyclothymic Disorder **used in this chapteris from Wikipedia and PubMed Health (..gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002517/) . From my understanding of what I have read about the condition, it is a milder form of bipolar disorder. Cyclothymic Disorder is treated with the same treatments used for bipolar – combinations of therapy and medication (the same medications are used too). If you are interested in reading more about the disorder, I recommend going to PubMed Health.


	39. I'd Rather Be With You

**Disclaimer:** Naruto, its characters and concepts belong to their rightful owner. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

**Warnings:** The usual. Swearing , Sasuke x Naruto (male x male), mentions of mental illness and treatment, as well as suicide attempt.

**Authors Notes:** Yey! Reunion time! There's probably another chapter (possibly two) after this, just so you know. Thanks again to all who reviewed! You're all awesome!

* * *

**Chapter 37: **_**I'd Rather Be With You**_

_And maybe then we'll finally see  
There is no need to try  
All our lives  
For a reason why_

The Reason Why by Ron Sexsmith

Naruto walked through the arrival gate at the airport with his backpack slung over one shoulder. It was late at night, and there weren't that many people around at all, making the artificial lighting turn the place desolate and lonely.

He stopped after walking out into the warm night air. He had no idea where to find Sasuke, and even though Lady Mikoto had given him Sasuke's address, he highly doubted that he would find him there. It was a Friday night after all, and he knew that Sasuke had mentioned having a busy social life when he was away from the stifling atmosphere of his family life.

Naruto pulled his phone out of his pocket and thumbed through his contacts, finding a familiar name. He couldn't even remember why he had the number or how he had been given it, but he was suddenly glad that he had it

Gaara answered the phone eventually, the background noise almost drowning out his grumpy "_hello?"._

"Gaara, it's Uzamaki Naruto," he said swallowing the nervousness that suddenly swamped him. "I worked as…."

"_I know who you are."_

Naruto didn't know Gaara well enough to read his tone, so he counted that as a win and moved on quickly.

"Look, Sasuke's mother wants me to talk to him. His father's very…."

"_I know about his heart attack," _Gaara interrupted. "_She sent you as her messenger boy, is that it?"_

Naruto ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Look, I know I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now, but Sasuke needs to go home. His father is dying, and his family needs him and I speak from personal experience that Sasuke will never forgive himself if he isn't there."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, and Naruto silently cursed himself. Gaara was his only chance at finding Sasuke. His only other option was sitting outside his building for the rest of the night, and he was tired and nervous and in no state to spend the night out on the cold pavement. Not mention how stupid and pathetic he would feel if it came to that.

"_Spunky," _Gaara said eventually, sounding faintly impressed. "_Are you sure this is the same Naruto I met before?"_

Naruto bit back his retort, squinting into the distance.

"Look, can you help me or not? If you won't I really should be figuring out how I'm going to find him."

"_Where are you now?"_

"The airport. I arrived half an hour ago."

"_Got a pen? Get yourself to this address._" Gaara said.

"Are you with him now?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"_I am. And I swear to god Naruto, if you hurt him any more than he already is, I'll…."_

"I'm not here to hurt him," he assured him quietly.

"_Good," _Gaara said, and hung up on him.

Naruto blinked at the phone in his hand in surprise before tucking it away to hail a taxi.

The city that Sasuke had settled in was a bustling, busy place. Naruto could only recall a handful of times he had been to a city, so he watched the speeding lights and signs avidly through the window of the taxi. Buildings towered into the night sky, the streets were crowded with people and cars, and he could see how easily a person could become just another faceless person in a crowd. It was a good place to disappear in plain sight.

The drive took about 45 minutes and as the time sped by, Naruto's heart sped up. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to convince Sasuke to return home. He held out one of his hands and watched it tremble slightly for a moment before curling it into a fist and recalling some of the relaxation techniques his therapist had taught him.

The taxi dropped him off on the corner of a street that was surprisingly quiet. The building before him was massive and he stepped into the foyer slowly. Never had he felt so out of place in his casual jeans, plain white t-shirt and worn boots. He hoisted his pack higher on his shoulder and headed for the elevators. His destination was the top floor, which didn't surprise him at all.

He could hear the music as soon as he stepped out of the elevator onto the plush carpet, and he knew that that was probably the place he was looking for. There were a few people standing in the hallway and he stepped through the open front door, ignoring the looks that he was receiving. The place was pretty crowded, the lights down low and the music loud. The smell of alcohol was strong in the air and he recoiled instinctively but he strengthened his resolve and moved into the crowd.

He spotted Sasuke before he himself was noticed, and took a moment to drink in the sight of him. He was stretched out on a couch, looking relaxed and bored. He was surrounded by people and yet he still seemed to be a world apart from them. His hair was shorter, and he was dressed as stylishly as ever, in tightfitting jeans and a tight, long sleeved dark grey shirt.

Naruto's heart constricted in his chest, and he was consumed instantly with such a fierce longing that it brought tears to his eyes. But mostly, he was relieved to be seeing him again, which was something he had never thought was possible.

He moved forward until he was in Sasuke's line of vision and practically standing before him. It took a moment for Sasuke's eyes to wander to him, but when they finally set upon him Sasuke froze. They stared at each other for a long, painful moment before Sasuke was moving.

Before he knew it, Sasuke had his arms wrapped tightly around Naruto. He dropped his bag instantly and held him back, burying his face in that strong shoulder and inhaling that beautiful, intoxicating scent of his once more. And it was in that moment that he knew he was home again.

They stood there for a long time, ignoring the whispering and talking around them. Naruto pressed his face into Sasuke's neck briefly before Sasuke drew away, leaving his hands on his shoulders. He said nothing, and just studied Naruto's face.

He opened his mouth to say something, then frowned and looked around. Naruto knew what he meant instantly; it was too crowded and noisy to talk in the room. Sasuke grabbed his hand, which sent a thrill of heat through his body.

He had enough time to grab his backpack before Sasuke pulled him from the room, through a door, up a staircase and out into a beautiful and deserted little courtyard. Sasuke walked away from him for a minute before turning back to look at him with unreadable eyes.

"You look different," Sasuke said eventually. "You've grown."

That was an understatement, Naruto thought to himself, knowing exactly how much he had changed. He wasn't the willowy boy he had been a year and a half ago. He had put on weight and muscle and added a couple of inches. He was healthy, with a healthy appetite, and he supposed that it would be a shock to Sasuke.

After all, he would never have pictured himself to have thrived physically after Sasuke had left either.

* * *

Sauske stared at the face that had been haunting him for the last year and a half, unable to comprehend that Naruto was really here, in _his_ world for a change. It had felt like he had been jolted with electricity when he had laid eyes on that face he loved so much. And wasn't it a kick in the pants to realise just how much he loved Naruto once they had broken up?

Seeing him again was making his heart pound in his chest and his stomach churn with a hurricane of emotion. Anger. Pain. Disbelief.

He had honestly believed that they would never see each other again. Time had dulled his memories of Naruto and he had forgotten how blue his eyes were, and how gold his hair.

But he was changed, _different_, and he didn't know how he felt about that. He looked healthier, and happier, and that stung him in the worst way. Naruto was closer to his height now and broader in the chest and shoulders. He was obviously heavier and more muscular but still lean and fit. And the plainness of his clothes was something of a relief after a year and a half of living in a world where people wore the latest fashion every day.

Looking at him again, Sasuke felt anger and frustration, stronger than he had felt since he had left. His world was spinning off its axis again, and it was all because of Naruto. Every time he was around, Sasuke was helpless in a torrent of new and terrifying emotions that no one else could inspire in him.

It was the dullness of his life since they had broken up was what was killing him. Every day was the same, unexciting, boring and monotonous. He hated everything about his world, and he didn't know what to do about it. Going home hadn't been an option; he hated his father too much and loved Naruto too strongly to be reminded every waking minute of what he had lost. He had refused every order his father had made to start making wedding plans, and hadn't participated in any of the dinners or meetings his father had set up.

Before, he would probably have gone along with a planned marriage without even caring that much. He would have married some poor girl and gone on with his life as he always had. But that was before Naruto had come along, with his wholesome goodness, his honesty and sincerity, and that sweet good-naturedness. After him, there could be no one else for Sasuke. He had put ideas and dreams in Sasuke's head, made him think and actually hope for a future and for happiness. And to have all of that ripped away from him so suddenly and so viciously had been a bitter disappointment that he was still struggling with.

And there he was, staring back at him with none of the shyness or uncertainty that he was used to. How could he just show up here and change all of the rules? The one thing he could have counted on was knowing Naruto and how he would react to things and then he had gone and changed.

"Yeah, I've been…" Naruto began to say, but Sasuke cut him off.

"I heard you left the stables," he said sharply. "Mother told me a couple of weeks ago. Where have you been?"

"I'll tell you," Naruto said. "I'll tell you later, I promise. Maybe when you're not so angry with me."

"I want to know now, Naruto," Sasuke replied, trying to hold onto his frayed temper. His nerves were shot because of the loud music and the crowd of people at a party he hadn't even wanted to attend, but Naruto didn't know that, and he didn't deserve to have it taken out on him. "I deserve to know. The whole reason I left was because you said…."

He broke off, not wanting to delve into the matter so soon. He was still shocked from seeing Naruto again, his body still tingling from their embrace, making it hard to concentrate.

"I've been at a recovery centre," Naruto said after a moment. "In therapy. I've been diagnosed with a form of bipolar disorder and I've been on a treatment program for that."

Sasuke stared at him in shock.

"But…what made you…why would you…." He gave up, frustrated and went back to looking at Naruto, not quite sure what to day.

"I accidently overdosed on drugs and alcohol, after you left," Naruto told him quietly, looking down at the ground with shame on his face. "I almost died."

Sasuke suddenly felt sick, angry and guilty all at once. Naruto had almost died? And no one had told him?

"Why didn't you call me?" he exploded, burying his hands in his hair and pacing away from him. "I would have come. You know I would have!"

"I know," Naruto said quickly, holding his hands up. "I know you would have. And nothing would have changed. I made the decision on my own to get help, and if you had come home I don't think I could have done that. I'm…Look, I'm better, a lot better."

"So you're saying you're better off without me?" Sasuke asked, with a bitter laugh. Inside he felt as if someone had sliced him open with a knife, and all of his insides were on display for the world to see. Inside, all he felt was hurt.

"You know that's not true, Sasuke. I never could…" Naruto's eyes seemed to fill, but he blinked them away as he moved closer to Sauske. "I love you. I always have, and I always will and I will never be better off without you. Never."

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat at those words, and he felt dizzy and tired from all of the conflicting emotions that were rushing through him. Damn Naruto anyway, for being able to say those words so easily and blatantly when the words came to Sasuke so sluggishly, and he always felt like a fool for saying it even when he felt it so strongly.

Naruto approach him and cupped Sasuke's face in his hands. He smiled at Sasuke, his eyes filling slowly.

"I missed you so much. And I think about you every day."

Sasuke closed his eyes, and Naruto pressed their foreheads together.

"Say you missed me too. That you still love me," Naruto whispered, his breath warm against Sasuke's frigid skin.

"I did. I do. Of course I do," Sasuke managed, and Naruto sighed with something like relief.

They stood there, frozen like that for a few minutes before Sasuke cleared his throat to speak.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. You look good though."

Naruto pulled back and smiled at him.

"It's okay, Sasuke. I still believe that it was for the best at the time," he said.

"And now? Do you still feel the same now?" Sasuke asked with his heart in his throat.

Naruto sighed and slowly pulled his hands away looking troubled.

"I don't know anymore," he replied honestly, before looking Sasuke in the eyes again. "You know that your mother asked me to come and find you?"

Now it was Sasuke that pulled away and backed off.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Because of my father."

He still had no idea how he felt about that. Confused certainly, and pained at the thought of his father like that. And shamefully maybe a little glad. He told Naruto so, expecting condescension, and perhaps even scorn, but he should have known that Naruto was more understanding than that.

"That just means you're human," Naruto said. "Look, I know you have a complicated relationship with your father. But when I lost my father, I didn't have a chance to tell him how sorry I was about what happened to him. I wanted to explain my actions and be forgiven, but he never woke up."

Sasuke moved closer to him again, and touched his hand fleetingly, meaning to convey comfort. Because he could see that old pain and guilt hovering in Naruto's eyes, but he could also see acceptance now. Sasuke received a smile and a hand squeeze from Naruto for his understanding.

"So trust me when I say that if your father dies and you didn't take the opportunity to talk things out with him? You will regret it for the rest of your life. And that's a very long time to hold on to that anger Sasuke. Eventually you will hate yourself for not taking the opportunity."

Sasuke absorbed his words silently, knowing that he was probably right. He spoke with a clarity that came with experience, and he would be a fool not to heed the advice. But admitting defeat to his father was a difficult thing, and he had never been good at it. It usually took someone practically shoving his face in his mistake to make him appologise even when he was a child.

"So will you fly back? Your mother needs you," Naruto said earnestly.

Sasuke shot him an annoyed look. "I would probably have gone anyway. Eventually."

Naruto smiled at him, looking immensely relieved and happy. But the truth was Sasuke had no idea what would happen if his father died. But first and foremost in his mind was the blaring possibility that he and Naruto could be together again.

Lord, but he missed Naruto. Missed holding him, and kissing him. He missed making love to him, and making him laugh and smile. He wanted to make Naruto happy but he had no idea how to do that. He was a complicated and complex person, and Sasuke often felt like a bumbling fool in front of him.

He sat down suddenly, on one of the low benches around the edge of the courtyard and held his head in his hands. He felt Naruto sit next him, close but not too close.

"And you?" he asked eventually. "What are you going to do?"

"Me?" Naruto asked, sounding surprised. "I'm probably going back to the centre."

Sasuke looked up at that, pain taking hold of his heart once more. He looked over his shoulder at Naruto. He opened his mouth to ask another question but Naruto beat him to it.

"What's your fiancé like?" he asked suddenly.

Sasuke saw pain and loneliness in Naruto's eyes, and hated himself for being responsible for it, however indirectly. He hated that he had been born into such a birth right of wealth and all of the things it brought with it.

"She's…." Sasuke sat up properly and sighed. "She's perfectly normal. And in any other life we probably would have been happy together eventually. But she's not…"

"She's not what?" Naruto prompted gently, looking at him searchingly.

"She's not you," Sasuke replied quietly. "You've ruined me for anyone else Naruto. I still want us to be…us again. You realise that if my father dies, that you and I can…"

"I know," Naruto said, dropping his head back to look at the sky. The stars were hidden from them by the bright city lights, and the sound of traffic from far below was like white noise. They were in their own little world again, just like old times, and his heart was aching for the way things used to be. It ached for the way things could be in the future, and he wanted that so badly for them both.

"I don't want to rush into anything, Sasuke," Naruto said, and he sounded so firm and sure. Sasuke was shocked yet again by how much he had changed. "If your father….if he passes away then I think…I would like…"

Sasuke took his hand and interlaced their fingers, that simple touch sending a thrill through his body, making him ache and feel alive like he hadn't for a year and a half.

"I think we could be together." Naruto said slowly. "But before we do, before we can move on, I want to finish my treatment at the centre. I feel like I owe it to myself and to you to do that. But I don't know how long that will take, and it wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to wait."

Sasuke snorted inelegantly. "If you think I'm not going to wait for you Naruto then you have another thing coming. I'd wait for as long as it takes for you to feel like you're ready for a life with me."

"It could be years, Sasuke," Naruto pointed out softly. "My medication and therapy will probably be for life, but I don't know how long it will be until I feel ready to leave the centre."

Sasuke dropped Naruto's hands and cupped his face.

"I don't care, Naruto. It's worth it. _You're _ worth it. I want to be with you, and I'll do whatever it takes. I'll be waiting for you no matter how long," he said fiercely. "I love you."

Naruto smiled so brilliantly at those words, and tears spilled down his face at last as Sasuke bent to kiss him.

TBC


	40. Living On Love

**Disclaimer: **Naruto and characters belong to their rightful owner. Song lyrics belong to One Republic

**Warnings: **Swearing, M x M romance, explicit sexual scenes in this chapter, mentions of mental illness and treatment processes

**Author's Notes: **Sorry for the long, long, long wait guys. Hope this chapter more than makes up for my tardiness.

* * *

**Chapter 38: Living On Love**

_When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over_

_When everything is out, you gotta take it in_

Good Life by onerepublic

A warm beam of early morning sunlight stirred Naruto from his sleep, and he opened his eyes and immediately smiled. After almost another two years since their initial reunion, Sasuke was finally sleeping next to him once more.

Naruto spent the next few minute rememorizing the planes and angles of Sasukes face. He was sleeping on his side with his arms crossed before him, displaying his beautifully sculpted and toned muscles, and his flawless pale skin. Inky eyelashes kissed his sleep warmed cheeks, and he breathed slowly and steadily, sleeping on beside Naruto.

He ached to reach out and touch, but he was hesitant to disturb the moment of peace that had taken ahold of their bedroom.

Sasuke had reluctantly returned home to his family after Naruto had found him, and Naruto had returned to his treatment centre. For two weeks they hadn't talked again, but Naruto hadn't been worried. He had seen Sasuke's longing for him, and knew that Sasuke would do anything and everything for a future together. So he hadn't stressed when he didn't hear from him.

Eventually, the phone had rung late one evening, and the sound of Sasuke's deep, smooth voice on the other end had filled Naruto with heat and love. Sasuke's father hadn't died, but it had been a close call. He was a shadow of his old self, and his health remained frail to this day. Sasuke had experienced mixed emotions about the news, but he and his father had reached some sort of peace between them, and that was enough. They would never be close or even comfortable with each other but they had reached an understanding that was only clear to the two of them.

The head of the Uchiha family had been forced into an early retirement, and had moved with Lady Mikoto to one of their coastal properties where the climate was warmer and easier on his health. This meant that Sasuke became the proud owner of the Uchiha Estate, its grounds, manor and stables, as Itachi already had property of his own.

The running of the various family empires had fallen to both Sasuke and Itachi, and surprisingly, Sasuke had thrown himself into the task and thrived in his new role. Itachi too, had married and settled down, seemingly content with his newly elevated position as well. Sasuke and Itachi had somehow reached an impasse with their silent warfare upon each other (which Naruto had never really understood) and became close once more.

Despite his role within the family empire, Sasuke had also dedicated himself to expanding the Uchiha stables and re-establishing their reputation as one of the highest quality breeding stables in the country. They bred world class competition horses and race horses, and new housing and arenas had been built to accommodate the rapidly expanding enterprise.

Naruto knew that Sasuke had been keeping himself busy to distract himself from the physical distance that had existed between them. They talked every night on the phone, and Sasuke had helped him through a couple of rough patches in his therapy sessions. The urge to just get on a plane and fly to him had been almost overwhelming at times, but Sasuke had talked him down. In a funny way, it seemed like they knew each other on a deeper, more intimate level after their long conversations each night. Time had only increased his need to be with Sasuke again.

So two years passed in such a fashion, with Naruto picking his life up again and Sasuke burying himself in his art, his horses and his work. Two years until Naruto finally felt ready to move back across the country and dedicate himself to Sasuke and their future together. He had set up regular appointments with a local therapy centre, and last night when he had driven up that old, familiar driveway, he had thought that the excitement and anticipation would explode from his chest.

Sasuke had been waiting for him at the front door, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed, and Naruto had never seen anything so appealing in his life. Sasuke had welcomed him back wholeheartedly into his life, and Naruto's body was still aching pleasantly as he lay their watching his lover.

They had gotten so carried away the night before that they hadn't even brought his luggage in from his truck. And Naruto had completely forgotten about the other surprise he had for Sasuke.

At that moment, Sasuke drew in a deep breath and opened his dark eyes. He stared at Naruto for a moment with his usual early morning blankness before smiling warmly and pulling Naruto into his sleep warmed body. Naruto wrapped his arms around him and pushed his nose into his neck where Sasuke's spicy scent was strongest and enhanced by the night's sleep.

"For a moment there I thought I was dreaming again," Sasuke murmured in a roughened voice.

Naruto smiled and pressed a kiss to his broad chest.

"Not this time, you're not," he replied before pulling back slightly so he could see Sasuke's face. "God, I missed you."

Sasuke pressed a lingering kiss to his lips and Naruto closed his eyes, relaxing into Sasukes gentle touch on his skin.

"I'm glad you're finally home. This place hasn't felt right without you here," Sasuke admitted to him softly. His fingers tracing slow patterns on Naruto's back. "I feel like I can breathe again."

Naruto could sense Sasuke struggling with something, as if he had something he wanted to say, but he didn't press, knowing that he would speak when he was ready. Instead, he set about slowly relearning the shape and feel of Sasuke chest with his fingertips.

Eventually, Sasuke caught and trapped one of his hands. "Do you think…." He began slowly before licking his lips. "Do you think you'll be happy here? Will you be okay with all the history you have with this place if we live here permanently?"

Naruto mulled the questions over in his mind as he slid one of his legs over Sasuke's hip and fit them closer together. It wasn't that he had doubts, he just needed a moment to properly form his reply in a way that Sasuke would understand and accept.

"Adjusting is going to take a little while, I think," he said slowly. "And I'm okay with that. I still love this place, and I can't wait to see how you've helped this place grow. I think that as long as I have you, and I keep up with my medication and my therapy I'll be more than okay."

At hearing his reply, Sasuke relaxed and gave him a brilliant smile.

"I've been worried about it for a while, but I've just been so busy that I kept forgetting to ask you," he admitted. "Just…if things get too much, you'll tell me right? We could move somewhere else, or go travelling for a while, anything."

Naruto smiled and cupped Sasuke's face in his hand, feeling his heart swell with love for this man.

"I promise, if things ever become too much to handle, you'll be the first to know. I want to be with you, Sasuke, for the rest of my life and I'll do everything in my power to make sure it happens."

With that, he pressed his mouth to Sasuke's . Sasuke responded fiercely, rolling so that he was on top of Naruto with his hips cradled by his thighs.

Naruto slid his hands down Sasuke's back and up again, smiling as Sasuke's mouth attacked his neck.

"You're insatiable," he grinned, gasping a moment later as Sasuke bit down onto his shoulder.

"It's been more than two years, Naruto," Sasuke growled against his chest. "Two years with nothing but my own hand and memories."

Naruto laughed quietly as Sasuke kissed his stomach. "Now that would have been a sight I would pay to see."

"Maybe some other time," Sasuke grinned up at him as his talented hand wrapped about Naruto and began to move. Naruto moaned, his eyes falling closed as heat surged within his veins. "Right now I want to fuck."

With that, he took Naruto in his talented mouth and within seconds Naruto was writhing on the bed with his hands buried in Sasuke's silken hair. It would be over too soon if Sasuke kept up that swirling motion of his tongue, and kept gently rolling and tugging at his balls. When one of Sasuke's fingers slyly brushed Naruto's opening, he felt the beginnings of his orgasm start up in the pit of his stomach. It really had been too long if he was about to explode after only moments of Sasuke's attention.

He arched his back, his eyes slamming closed as he came, his body seizing and trembling under Sasuke's continued onslaught. His hips jerking, he whimpered as the feel of Sasuke's mouth on his sensitive flesh became too much, and Sasuke released him slowly before crawling up Naruto's trembling body. He pressed sensual, slow kisses to Naruto's mouth, smiling as he struggled for breath.

After pressing one more kiss to Naruto's jaw, he encouraged Naruto to lie on his stomach and ran his hands softly down Naruto's back, resulting in a sigh as he relaxed and pillowed his head on his arms.

* * *

For the second time since he had woken up that morning, Naruto remembered the news he had for Sasuke as he jogged down the stairs after his shower. Sasuke was in one of the parlours with a full breakfast set out before him.

Naruto paused in the doorway and smiled and the sight of his lover and life partner sitting in the morning sun and pouring over renovation plans for the mansion before crossing over to join him.

Sasuke glanced up at him with a smile before reaching to pour him some orange juice.

"Nice shower?" he enquired.

Naruto nodded as he bit into a piece of toast.

"Mmmph," he mumbled before swallowing quickly. "It's nice to wash the travel off my skin."

"I didn't have a problem with it," Sasuke grinned at him before turning back to his papers. "In fact, after breakfast we could go and…"

"Let me stop you right there," Naruto laughed. "I have something I want to talk to you about."

Sasuke straightened and set aside his work to pay full attention to what Naruto had to say. And that was yet another thing he loved about Sasuke; he always had time to talk and pay attention, no matter the circumstance. Their time apart had taught Sasuke patience that he hadn't had before. It had made him a little more self-aware and a lot less high strung that he had been previously.

"A while ago you told me that you were trying to sell the rural land behind the estate. You remember?"

Sasuke nodded and frowned in confusion. "Yeah of course I remember. I signed the sale papers to the anonymous buyer last month. Why?"

"It was me. I bought that land."

Naruto watched Sasuke as he processed that and had to bite back his smile at the incomprehension on his face. To the majority of people, Sasuke was a closed book and an enigma, and that was why they were wary of him. He had complete control over himself, and was able to hide his emotions and thought processes as easily as breathing. To Naruto though, Sasuke was easier to read than anyone else he knew, and this drove Sasuke batty because he was unable to hide anything from Naruto, even if he tried to.

"But that land is to be used for farming, Naruto. Why would you want it?"

Naruto smiled at him, hardly able to contain his excitement. He had been planning this for a long time, and now that his dream was within his reach he couldn't wait to let Sasuke in. This project was his baby, and he had worked so hard to make it a reality. All he had lacked was the space, and now that he had that he could finally begin to get his hands dirty and dig in to the nitty gritty details.

"I don't know if I ever told you this, but my father came from an old family with money. He wasn't the type to spend it or throw it around like it meant nothing," Naruto paused here, and his father's face flashed within his mind. "We never had a permanent home. We wandered from place to place by choice, because that was how we liked it. We were happy that way, moving around and experiencing the world."

Sasuke reached over and took his hand on the table top and that contact alone allowed Naruto to shake off the sad memories and smile at him. It was definitely true love if a persons' very presence drove away the shadows from your mind.

"Anyway, he spent most of his life saving because he had a dream. And when he died, it became my dream too. Last year, the money was released from my trust fund and I began the process of looking for a place to build that dream."

"You've never mentioned this before, Naruto," Sasuke commented, but he didn't seem mad or hurt by the secrecy.

"I know. And that's not any reflection on you at all," he hurriedly reassured him. "This is something that I feel that I needed to do on my own, because I owed it to my father. But now I need your help and if you have the time, I'd really like your input."

"On what? C'mon Naruto, this is killing me. What's the big surprise?" Sasuke seemed to have caught on to Naruto's excitement and was squeezing his hand in anticipation.

Naruto grinned at him. "My father always dreamed about starting his own horse rescue and retraining facility. He wanted to take horses that had been abused or were to be slaughtered and to retrain them into leisure horses for families. He wanted to give them second chances at a better life."

"And that's what you're going to use the land for?"

He nodded. "I've already found several sponsors, and set up some contracts with government welfare organisations to receive horses they've seized. I have enough money left over from purchasing the land to start building and even to hire some employees. I'd like your help planning the stables and arenas."

Sasuke sat back, seemingly lost for words and buried in his thoughts. Naruto smiled contentedly to himself as he continued to eat. It pleased him immensely whenever he was able to baffle Sasuke to this degree, because it happened so rarely. Sasuke possessed a sharp mind to go along with his sharp wit, and it was rare that anyone could catch him off guard.

"Naruto…" Sasuke murmured. "I'm…I'm amazed. I can't believe you've managed all this without me knowing. "

Naruto grinned at him. "I know. Pretty amazing, right? Although, I'm not sure if I should be insulted at just how stunned you are."

Sasuke snorted inelegantly and waved a hand at him. "All that aside, how did you manage all the contracts that come with all of this? That shit is a nightmare if you don't know what you're doing, and I know that from experience."

"I took business courses when I was at the retreat, remember? And I hired a part time business manager. Surprisingly, it has all been easier than I thought it would be…."

"I'm so proud of you Naruto," Sasuke interrupted him, standing up. "This is amazing!"

Naruto pushed to his feet to accept Sasuke's hug, and kissed the Uchiha's neck softly.

"So will you help me?"

"Of course I will," Sasuke murmured into his hair. "In fact, I know just the guy for the job."

TBC – More Tomorrow


	41. Are You With Me?

**Disclaimer: **The characters and concepts belong to their rightful owner.

**Warnings: ** m/m sex, swearing, angst etc. etc.

**Author's Note: **Final chapter guys! Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you've enjoyed the journey. I've included a song list that I've compiled whilst writing this story, and I hope you enjoy it. If anyone knows how to file share safely, I will gladly do so!

* * *

**Chapter 39: Are You With Me?**

_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be – _Douglas Adams

x-x

Sasuke pulled the keys out of the ignition and took a moment to look around the stable yard. Over the past few years, he had worked hard to expand the stables and arenas for the purpose of training new horses. The sprawl of stable and yards had more than doubled in size since he had met Naruto, and the amount of horses they house and trained had tripled.

They had a set number of certain horses that they owned, and they always remained at the Uchiha stables as breeding stock and competition horses. Other horses were bought, trained and resold, or used as racehorses. The racehorses were always retrained and sold to good homes once their racing careers were over. Sasuke wouldn't have any of his hard working and well trained horses go to any meat packer to be slaughtered for meat.

Sasuke had made quite the name for himself in the competition and racing world, and he didn't mean to sound boastful or greedy but he was raking in the millions from all of planning and work. And he liked to think that he passed on that good fortune to those that worked and lived on his property. He had slowly grown closer to the staff at the stables, breaking the tradition that his father has set of seeing them as nothing more than faceless servants. He even called many of them friends, and he knew that this was in a large way due to his relationship with Naruto. His beautiful, life loving partner had that effect on people, drawing them closer together and inspiring them to be better without even trying.

He had knocked down the old stable hand housing, and built them a new, bigger and more comfortable place to live. He had been told that it was more than satisfactory, and that they loved the new place and this pleased him. If they were comfortable, happy and well looked after then they would work that much harder. Of course, he rewarded them generously, with pay rises and the such, but he believed that quality of life was more of an incentive for loyalty, and it seemed that he had been right in that assumption.

Looking over his equine empire, Sasuke couldn't quite believe how lucky he was, or just how happy he had become over the last few years. He had Naruto, and even if that was all that he ever had, then that would be enough. He had learned that the hard way, and it was a lesson that he would not forget soon.

Kakashi was walking towards where he had parked his truck, leading pretty looking chestnut filly. Sasuke got out of his car and went to meet him.

"Afternoon Sasuke. Wasn't expecting to see you this late in the afternoon," the pale man commented nonchalantly.

"I've got to go see Naruto about something, so I thought I'd stop in on my way," he replied distractedly. "Is this Elusive's filly?"

Kakashi nodded as he passed a hand over her shining neck. "Yep, this is she. She's just started on her saddle work. I'm thinking in a month or so she'll be ready for sale."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. She was indeed a beautiful looking thing, and he was rather proud of her lineage. She would make a top competition horse for some ambitious rider one day, and he was expecting great things of her.

"Anyway, did you hear about the fiasco with Naruto this morning?" Kakashi asked with a grin and a gleam in his eye.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and huffed. "Of course I did. If that idiot Kiba has done permanent damage to Naruto then he's going to have to deal with me."

Kakashi laughed. "Well, you should have known that lending Kiba to Naruto would end in trouble. "

"I should have, yes. I don't know what I was thinking. Anyway, I'll be by tomorrow morning to exercise Taira. He's getting a bit lazy and stubborn."

"He's always been stubborn, Sasuke. Maybe you should get Naruto to do it. That horse adores him."

"All horses adore Naruto, Kakashi," Sasuke replied as he got in his car. "_All _animals adore Naruto. It's something I've learned to live with over the years, this habit he has of picking up stray animals and people."

"Part of his charm, I suppose," his stable manager agreed. "Say hi to him for me."

Sasuke nodded and put the car in reverse.

* * *

When Naruto had begun on his building project for his centre, Sasuke had insisted on creating a road to link his stable yard to Narutos'. It was convenient for all parties, and was about a fifteen minute drive between the two. It was also a well-used riding route for exercising horses and borrowing equipment and the like.

Naruto had thrown himself into his project with an enthusiasm that had taken everyone by surprise. He had been steadfast and dedicated, and poured every minute of free time into building his own business. He had established his rehabilitation centre, and added on to it a retraining facility for horses with behavioural problems. To go hand in hand with this, he ran a small riding school that was quickly gaining popularity and notoriety. His skills as a trainer were much sought after, and he always had a steady flow of work.

But it was his rehabilitation work that fuelled his ambition, and Sasuke sometimes didn't know how he did it. Naruto scouted around, finding and buying horses in atrocious condition and dedicating himself to nursing them back to health. Many of the horses were horribly abused or neglected. Sasuke didn't know how Naruto found the strength not to break his heart over the poor, near death creatures. But his lover was patient and calm, and the horses thrived under his attention.

Once the horses were healthy and fit again, he would find them new homes, and he made certain that he selected the right home for each individual horse. There were several horses, however, with ongoing health problems that could never be rehomed, and they were permanent residents at the centre.

But somehow, despite all of the long hours and hard work that Naruto poured into the centre, he always had time for Sasuke. He didn't know how Naruto found enough time in a day to get everything done, but somehow he did.

To add to his incredible workload, he still found time each week for his therapy sessions which Sasuke drove him to and from. Usually afterwards, they did something together, like going to lunch or visiting a gallery or the markets.

Naruto's moods after these sessions were variable, and often left him in a pensive and quiet mood. It was the only time when Sasuke saw him close to being down, but he usually picked up again after a few hours. Sasuke didn't ask about what made Naruto like this after the sessions, and Naruto respected that. Sometimes he would reveal the cause to Sasuke on his own, but mostly, he kept his thoughts to himself.

There had been one time when Naruto had taken a turn for the worst. About four months into the building of his centre, he had started to experience mood swings. People had noticed, and Sasuke had been concerned, but Naruto had been adamant that he was okay. He had tried to convince Naruto to slow down and take some time to get his bearings but Naruto had refused.

And then came the day when Naruto couldn't make himself get out of bed. Sasuke had been frantic with worry, but he liked to think that he had remained calm enough around Naruto. On the second day of Naruto staying in bed, Sasuke had gone against Naruto's pleading and called his therapist, who had come straight away. His lover had thanked him for that profusely later because once he had recovered he had admitted how much he had scared himself. The therapist had said that his combination of medication had stopped being as effective as they had been, so she had changed his prescription and increased his therapy sessions until Naruto had been back on solid ground.

Since then, Naruto had been improving in leaps and bounds, and his medication dosage had gradually lowered until he was on the bare minimum. Sasuke could breathe easier again. It had been hard to accept that Naruto may always be on medication for his condition, but he had come to terms with it gradually, with Naruto's help.

It was a beautiful day to be outside, Sasuke thought to himself as he pulled into a parking space. The weather was warm, the air was scented with the pleasant smells of horses and flowers and the sun was shining brightly.

Naruto wasn't anywhere to be seen when he entered the courtyard, but his dog Chance was. That puppy that he had rescued was lazing about in a patch of sunshine, and paid Sasuke no heed as he passed. Walking about the back of the first barn, Sasuke stopped and drank in the sight of Naruto hard at work.

There was a scarily thin dun coloured horse that Kurenai and Anko, two of Naruto's employees, were inspecting closely and talking about quietly. Next to them, Naruto was showing Choji how to dress a wound on a chestnut that was in even worse condition than the dun.

Sasuke was slightly appalled at the sight of the horses; he could see every rib, every bump of their spines and their hips jutted out grotesquely.

"Oi, Naruto! Lover boy is here!" Anko called out, having spotted him.

Sasuke scowled at her. Naruto had somehow picked up a raggedy team of dedicated employees that were fiercely loyal and more than a little crazy, Sasuke thought. Anko and Kurenai were both strong willed women who were staunchly dedicated to their welfare work with the horses. Choji was a rather laid back, food loving and bumbling guy who seemed to adore Naruto and Shino was a near silent man who had a way with animals just like Naruto did.

His other employee, Zaku, could have been a clone of Kiba. He was loudmouthed, over confident and boisterous, and seemed to love convincing Kiba to participate in all sorts of trouble. He didn't know how such a rag-tag team of type A personalities got anything done, but somehow, they worked well together.

Naruto was heading over to him now, a broad smile on his face. Sasuke was graced with a chaste kiss and hug.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

Sasuke smiled at his love and rested his hands on Naruto's hips as he inhaled the scent of the man that he loved.

"I have a proposition for you."

Naruto grinned even wider. "Oh really? Right here?" He pressed even closer and slid his arms are Sasuke.

He rolled his eyes and pinched Naruto lightly, earning a wince and a sheepish grin in return. Sasuke's eyes were drawn back to the horses behind Naruto.

"What's going on there?"

Naruto pulled away and turned around.

"We had a surprise delivery an hour ago," he responded, all mirth fading from him. "It was an emergency welfare seizure. They were worried that the horses wouldn't make it another couple of days."

Sasuke sighed and slipped his hand down to take Naruto's. "What's the prognosis on them?"

"I think the dun will make a quick recovery with just some TLC, but the chestnut has some really nasty wounds that are going to take a long time to recover. I'm not so sure about him, but we'll see how it goes. We may have to put him down."

"Well if anyone can help him, you can," Sasuke said confidently. "How many do you have here now?"

"At the moment we have thirty that need close care. We're just about at capacity. Luckily the weather is good and the long term residents can stay out overnight."

"You know that if you need extra accommodation then you can use some of mine, right?" Sasuke frowned. He hated to think of Naruto struggling to come up with accommodation for sudden influxes of horses needing care.

Naruto grinned at him and squeezed his hand. "I know. We've just got a couple of horses that are waiting for their new owners to be ready for them, that's all. In another couple of days things will be back to normal."

Sasuke nodded. "Well, my offer still stands."

Naruto pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Sasuke shivered as Naruto rested his forehead against his cheek. Being so near Naruto always had the same effect on him, no matter how long they had been together for.

"Funny," he murmured. "I was thinking the same thing about you."

"You're both a pair of hopeless, romantic fools," Kurenai snorted, and tried to hide her smile. "In fact, you deserve each other. You should continue to inflict yourselves on each other. Elsewhere. Some people are working."

Naruto grinned and gave Sasuke a gently nudge towards his office. "We'd better go before her highness decides to take action."

"I heard that!"

Naruto's office was a cosy place, and was always welcoming. He had moved his furniture from his old stablehand accommodation into here, but instead of the bed he had acquired a desk and comfy chair. Sasuke threw himself onto the little couch and pulled Naruto down with him.

His lover stretched out on his back with his head in Sasuke's lap and sighed. Sasuke rubbed his chest gently, feeling the day's tiredness ease from his muscles.

"Long day, huh?"

Naruto nodded. "Long but good." He turned those big blue eyes onto him. "I missed you today."

Sasuke couldn't help but smile at him. "I missed you too. Especially when I woke up this morning and you were already gone."

Naruto grimaced and wrapped his hand around Sasuke's on his chest. "I had an early appointment with my business manager. Unavoidable, I'm afraid."

"Ah, I'll forgive you. Eventually. But I'm expected a lot of make-up sex, just so you know."

Naruto grinned again, before flipping onto his stomach, and crawling forward to straddle Sasuke's lap. "How about we start right now?"

"I don't think Kiba would take too kindly to walking in on us again," Sasuke replied wryly.

"Well, he should have knocked!"

"Maybe we shouldn't have been doing it over your desk."

Naruto chuckled. "Well, maybe not. But the look on his face was totally worth it."

Sasuke pulled Naruot flush against himself, and wrapped him in a warm hug. This was what made each day bearable, the thought of spending his evenings with Naruto, wrapped up in each other and lost in the little world they had create together. He could bear anything if he had this every night. That sense of belonging to someone was an amazing feeling, and there was nothing like it in the world.

"Anyway, there's something I want to talk to you about first."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto sat back a little, with a frown on his face. "Nothing too bad, I hope?"

"It's a business proposition." Sasuke smiled, knowing that Naruto would go for it without a second thought. "You know how you're always talking about wanting to help underprivileged and orphaned children, but you don't quite know how to?"

"Yeah. Giving money just seems too…dismissive," Naruto's face became thoughtful. "I want to help give a little happiness to children who are going through hard times."

"Well, I thought that we could run a couple of camps a year."

"Camps?"

"Yeah. We can set up some sort of curriculum for a couple of days or a week during the school breaks. You could take them trail riding, and show them how to look after those poor neglected animals that you take in. It would teach them compassion, and how to be responsible for animals. Show them that there is still good in the world, and that life can be fun."

"I can see that you've put a lot of thought into this," Naruto said slowly.

"I have. I was even thinking of building a house for accommodation so they could stay for the week. We could hire some extra…"

Sasuke was cut off abruptly by Naruto kissing him. His surprise quickly morphed into desire, and he wrapped his arms around him tightly, letting Naruto maul him in the best possible way.

"I probably don't tell you enough but I love the hell out of you," Naruto told him as he pressed desperate kisses to Sasuke's face.

Sasuke smiled as he bit gently into Naruto's warm skin, breathing in the scent of sunshine and outdoors that clung to the golden skin. "I love you back."

Naruto stripped off his shirts and began in on Sasuke's as the Uchiha himself unbuttoned Naruto's jeans and slid his hands inside. They kissed again, deeply and languidly as they wallowed in the ever bright desire and love that they had built and nurtured.

The door burst open as Sasuke encouraged Naruto to move his hips.

"Oh for crying out loud! There's a time and a place, guys!" Kiba shouted as he slammed back out of the office. "Time and place!"

The End

* * *

**Possession Soundtrack**

1. Bed of Lies by Matchbox 20

2. Breathing by Lifehouse

3. Gravity by Vienna Teng

4. Nothing Left to Lose by Matt Kearney

5. Heart Like a Wheel by The Corrs

6. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer

7. Electrical Storm by U2

8. Different by Acceptance

9. Forget About Us by Tim Mcgraw

10. Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down

11. Learning to Fly by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

12. Audience of One by Rise Against

13. Endless Summer by the Jezabels

14. Good Life by Onerepublic

15. Stars and Boulevards by Augustana

16. Anchored in You by Shawn Mullins

17. Let You Go by Pete Murray

18. Dig by Incubus

19. No Apologies by Trapt


End file.
